Author has written 2 stories for Harry Potter.
What up peeps?? My names Calli and The Harry Potter Series is my total obbsession!! I Just turned 14 and I found this website so I signed up. I am starting my first story but pleaase have pity and dont critzize me too much cuz this is my first time writing fanfics!! Also, I love the Reading the books at hogwarts fics, so tell me if you see one!!!!
My Fav Bands
-Paramore(as shown in my profile pic)
-Fall Out Boy
-Panic @ the disco
-Three Days Grace
The girl you just called fat? She is overdosing on diet pills. The girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her. The boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. See that man with the ugly scars? He fought for our country. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying. That kid you called stupid? He spends hours with a tutor. Don't make fun of people unlelss you have walked a mile in there shoes.
-The Best Friend Pledge-
1. When you are blue, I will try and dislodge whatever is in your throat.
2. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
3. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
4. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could get until you stop whining.
5. When you are confused, I will use little words.
6. When you are sick, stay the heck away from me. I don't want whatever you've got.Jk (sort of).
7. When you fall, I will ask if you're okay, sit there and laugh at your clumsy butt.
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
A good friend calls your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandma, by Grandpa. A best friend calls your parents DAD and MOM and Grandma, GRAMPS!
A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.
A good friend borrows your stuff for a few days and then gives it back. A best friend loses your junk and tells you, "My bad... here's a tissue."
A good friend only knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds butt that left you.
A good friend would knock on your front door. A best friend will walk right in and say "I'm home!"
A good friend will help me find my way when I'm lost. A best friend will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions.
A good friend will help me learn to drive. A best friend will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.
A good friend will watch my pets when I go away. A best friend won't let me go away without them.
A good friend will go to a concert with me. A best friend will kidnap the band with me.
A good friend hides me from the cops. A best friend is probably the reason they are after me in the first place.
A good friend has your back. A best friend has a KICK ME sign to put on it.
A good friend lets me make an idiot of myself in public. A best friend is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.
A good friend is only through school/college. A best friend is for life.
An Ode To My Mom(she's sitting next to me, laughing)-
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand
Imitation is the most annoying form of flattery.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them
Don’t mess with me I've got a stick
He said I love you, I laughed and said sorry I'm allergic to bullshit
I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet
Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?
Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might wanna offend you later.
One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!
I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.
When I say LOL I'm not laughing out laud. I just have nothing better to say.
When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling
When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Sing "I'm Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmasters office.
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.
You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!
Darth Vader-Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!
Luke Skywalker-Nah, the rebels have cake.
Darth Vader-ooh! Can I be a rebel?!
I smile because I have no idea what's going on!
Life was so simple when boys had cooties
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends
Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
I ran with scissors, and lived!
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton
When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.
I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.
"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it."
"Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it."
"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else"
"Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real."
"I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not."
"Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird?"
"What is easy is not always right, and what is right is not always easy."
"Guns don't kill people. I do."
"If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side."
When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of Jury duty
37 Things to do in an elevlator
1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."
ut of Jury duty
Damnit the swings are taken
Dont like my additude? call 1-800 kiss my ass
Friends will ask you why you are crying but best friends already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry.
She's my best friend, break her heart and I'll break your face!
A best friend is a girl you can call in the middle of the night and say you killed someone and she would say "Where should we hide the body
Friends are God's way of apologizing for our families
Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to. – Anon.
'When life hand you lemons, squirt them in people's eyes!'
"Before you insult someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do insult them, you are a mile away and you have their shoes." – Anon.
"Friends are God’s apology for relatives.” – Anon.
Rules are like paperclips. Meant to hold things together, fun to bend, and easy to twist out of shape.
Wouldn't it be fun to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate? ~ Anon.
Boys are like slinkies; practically useless, and yet it is SO amusing to watch them fall down the stairs!!
Boys are like trees - they take 50yrs to grow up.
Excuse me. Have you seen my mind? I think I've lost it...
My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone.
Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out.
He: Why do you wear a Bra if you've got nothing to fill it in?
He: Is this seat empty?
He: Can I invite you a drink?
She: I'd rather you gave me the money
He: Can I have this song?
He: Your body is like a temple.
He: Where were you all my life?
He: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye." - Miss Piggy
The diference between humor and tragedy is that humor is when it happens to someone else
"The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music. "
"War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left. "
We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.
Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.
A day without light is, well, night
- Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls
- Those who cannot remember the past are going to spend a lot of time in mall parking lots looking for their cars
- Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't
- I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.
- Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.
- If at first you try and don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!
Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
FYI: you are NOT bringing sexy back
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
YOUTUBE myspace and I'll Google your YAHOO(does anyone get it...?)
Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon.
"Wal-Mart, do they, like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in? Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
The fact that you think I'm listening to you just shows me how stupid you really are
Break my Heart, I break your neck
Life isn't passing me; by it's trying to run me over
Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people who ask the stupid questions.
Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!
You and me is friends. You cry, I cry. You smile I smile. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I gonna miss your emails…
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me
Love comes in many colors
One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
Love your enemies! It really pissess them off!
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it annoys enough people to make it worth it!
I'm not insensitive, I just don’t care
Even if the voices aren't real...they have some good ideas
A wise man once said, "I don't know, go ask a woman."
Some people are like slinkies...they're not good for anything but it's fun to watch them fall down the stairs.
You can't make somebody love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope for the best!
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
The statistics of insanity is that 1 of every 4 people have a mental illness. Look at your three best friends; if they're ok, then it's you!
Growing older is mandatory. Growing up is Optional
"You say I've lost my sanity. Well I have news for you. You can't lose what you never had."
-I run with scissors; it makes me feel dangerous
-Save the earth. It’s the only planet with chocolate.
- I've heard that it’s possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. (Besides, what’s the fun in that?)
- No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me...
-Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
-When Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.
I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Oops! Did my sarcasm hurt your feelings?
Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to
I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept!
Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide.
Excuse me have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it
I live in my own little world. But it's ok, they know me there
-The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide
-Tell the truth and run- fast
-If electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from?
-Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking creatures?
-If everything seems to be going well, you've obviously overlooked something
Roses are red,
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
"I love you" is eight letters. So is "bull crap."
People say love is like magic, but isn't magic just an illusion?
You call me crazy, I've been called worse by the voices in my head.
You call me crazy like it’s the ultimate insult but I just stare at you blankly and say "So"
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
Tu madre! Yes, you just got burnt in Spanish
“Got a problem with me? Solve it. Think I’m trippin’? Tie my shoes. Can’t stand me? Sit your ass down. Can’t face me? Then turn the fuck around!”
Sarcastic! Me? Never!
Sometimes I wonder ' Why is that Frisbee getting bigger' and then it hits me...
If you don't like me there is nothing i can do. Newsflash bitch, I don't live to please you
flying is simple: just throw yourself at the ground and miss
when someone is getting on your nerves, it takes 42 muscles to frown, 17 to smile, but only 4 muscles are needed to extend your arm and beat the crap out of them
life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass it's about learning to dance in the rain
just remember: if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off
nobody's worth your tears, and the ones that are won't make you cry
everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film
the early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
behind every damsel is a fire breathing dragon
stupidity killed the cat. curiosity got framed
the grass may be greener on the other side, but it's just as hard to mow
life without danger is a waste of oxygen
sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house faster then the police do.
We learn from history that we do not learn anything from history.
On Sears hairdryer:
On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions:
On a bag of Fritos:
On a bar of Dial soap:
On some Swann frozen dinners:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
On Nytol sleep aid:
On artificial bacon:
On a Korean kitchen knife:
On a string of Christmas lights:
On a food processor:
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a child's Superman costume:
15 Things to do in Walmart
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"
And that, my children, is a wall. But Beware! the wall is solid! Yes, be afraid! Be very afraid, for we cannot walk through walls! Believe me, my children, for I have tried many times.
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man: Is this seat empty?
Man: Your place or mine?
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together.
Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Man: Your face must turn a few heads.
Man: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
Man: I think I could make you very happy.
Man: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
Man: Can I have your name?
Man: I'm God's gift to women
Man: Haven't I seen you some place before?
Man: Can I buy you a drink?
Man: How did you get to be so beautiful?
I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.
You talk to yourself a lot. (hell yeah, I'm like the only person I've got to talk to!)
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (sometimes it's a three-way conversation.)
When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else.
After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs..."
You live off of sugar and caffine (3 coffees a day on average. I COULD NOT LIVE WITH CAFFEINE!)
People think you're insane. (no they don't -checks letters sent to her, referring her to several different 'unique' mental homes- hehe... yeah.)
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week one week, and then dissappear off the face of the earth the next. (right, let's get this straight. If I disappear off the face of the Earth for a week, it's not because I'm writing - it's because I've been abducted by man-eating offspring of Frankenstein and Bella-Swan-The-Idiot. Just so you know to call the authorities.)
You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. (my e-mails? everything I say goes off into a longlonglong ramble!)
When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (I have a new keyboard :) so not yet, no.)
Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome. (what's that...?)
People think you have A.D.D.
You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
You start thinking about making lists like this and start laughing for no "apparent" reason.
Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101. (er... yeah, sure! What the hell is English 101
The Potter Mansion- His Forgotten Family-
Joey's Band Look- His forgotten Family-
Joey's Regular Appearance- His Forgotten Family-
Danny's Regular Appearance- His Forgotten Family-
PLEASE READ: I am really sorry guys but it's going to get harder and harder for me to update until the end of the winter. I recently made a school sports team and its been monopolizing my time lately. And my teachers keep on piling on the work to prepare us for midterms. I promise that every spare second that I get will go towards finishing the chapters so that you guys can get the story you deserve. Thank you guys for reviewing and encouraging me to continue writing. -Calli=)
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