Angel of Hell17
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Joined 04-27-10, id: 2343624, Profile Updated: 11-13-10
Author has written 4 stories for Twilight.

Hi people thanks 4 visiting my fanfic page!! My name is Alice (this is my real name, the other name i used was in case of creepazoid people) and im 14!! ENJOY!!!!!

OMG!!! watch concrete angel, it is SO depressing!!!

If you 've ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!


This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded

95 of all teens would go into a panic if the Jonas brothers were on a 100 foot building about to jump. copy and paste this if you are one of the 5 who brought popcorn and invited friends.

95 percent of the teenage population would go into panic if Miley Cyrus was standing off a ledge of a 10 story building. Put this on your profile if you would be the 5 percent standing there with a megaphone screaming Jump You Dumb Bitch Jump!

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that asshole upside the head

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Her name was Aurora

She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endore

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly crys
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
" God, why? Why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
" You deserve to die
You worthless pest! "

The mom walked out
Leaving the slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

If your against child abuse then repost this on your profile. If you don't then you have no soul!!

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

GAUTENG:
When you rearrange the letters:
GET A GUN

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letter:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER (this ones my favorite!)

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

I didn't hit you I just high-fived your face

Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this if you would be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR ASS OFF!

Copy and paste this into your profile if you and your BFFs watch movies just to laugh at them and make fun of them.(shows too!)

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer!

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a total clutz copy this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie or read a book so many times that you can quote it word for word, and do so at random moments, copy and past this to your profile (NIGHT WORLD)

If you have ever tripped when there was a "watch your step" sign copy and paste this into your profile

Take Your Preppy Blond To a Preppy Pool and Tape a Mirror to the Bottom of the Pool and VIOLA!

The Blond is history.

A prep in School:

Prep: So ,like, how do we do this?

Me: You add...ONE...plus...ONE.

Prep: Like how?

And that was what happened today in school! It's Kelsy and Jeniffer Lex!!

"God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns

"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown

“When there's a will, I want to be in it.” – Unknown

When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do.

Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it.

Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word.

Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you go to the most expensive store within fifty miles of your home, try on almost every peice of clothing, then walk out with nothing, saying none of it was your style.

Crazy is when you break a bone and laugh. Crazy is when you start saying different names from random shows wit your friend just to see who knows more names.

Crazy is when you shout at random people on the streat"THAT EVIL,PURPLE,GREEN POLKA-DOTTED MONKEY STOLE AND ATE MY TACO AGAIN!!"

Crazy is when you tell your teacher that the reason you're failing her class is because her hair is distracting you.

Crazy is when you go onto a busy street and shout "I like bananna flavoured".

Crazy is when you run upto a guy who looks, from the back, like Rob Pattinson and kiss him on the cheek.

Crazy is when someone says there 'team Jacob' and you run around the school field screaming in horror "GET THIS SHITTY DOG STENCH OFF OF MEEEEEEE".

Crazy is when you print of '79 things to do in an elevator' (a twilight fanfic) and do them!.

Crazy is when you run into a door and then throw a tanrum about why someone would put a door in a doorway.Daily.

If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

1.

If practice makes perfect & nobody's perfect, why practice?

2.

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God...I could be eating a slow learner.

3.

What would a chair look like, if your knees bent the other way?

4.

Why do our noses run and our feet smell?

5.

What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?

6.

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

7.

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

8.

When someone with multiple personalities threathens suicide, can that be considered a hostige situation?

9

What Happens If You Get Scared Half To Death Twice?

10.

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

11.

Why do they call it "common sense" when it's so rare?

12.

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

13.

If you get corn oil by squeezing corn, how do you get baby oil?

14.

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

15.

If electricity comes from electrons does it mean morality comes from morons?

16.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

17.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

18.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19.

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

20.

If God didn't want us to eat people, why did he make them out of MEAT?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

22.

If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet?

23.

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

24.

Psychics never win the lottery. Why is that?

25.

How can two space ships meeting always face the right way up in Sci-Fi movies?

26.

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

27.

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

28.

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

29.

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

30.

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

31.

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

32.

If you blame someone for your failures, do you credit them for your achievements?

33.

If FedEx and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP?

34.

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

35.

How come everyone's going so slow if it's called rush hour?

36.

Why is the person who invests all your money called a broker??

37.

Why do we chop a tree "down" and then chop it "up"?

38.

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

39.

Why do we wash BATH TOWELS; aren't we clean when we use them?

40.

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

If money doesn't make us happy, then what does it do?

42.

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

43.

If ours is a man made world, why can't we remake it?

44.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

45.

When people say "I woke up on the wrong side of the bed," What side is the right side?

46.

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

47.

Why do we put suits in a Garment Bag, and put Garments in a Suitcase?

48.

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?

49

When Puerto Rico joins the union, where will they put the 51st star?

50

Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?

All around the world where wolves live they are being hunted for sport but the wolves can’t repopulate quick enough so they need our help remember to
Help
Our
Wolves
Live

A white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK
When I grew up I was BLACK,
When I'm sick I'm BLACK,
When I go in the sun I'm BLACK,
When I'm cold I'm BLACK,
When I die I'll be BLACK.
But you sir,
When you are born you're PINK
When you grow up you're WHITE,
When you're sick, you're GREEN,
When you go in the sun you turn RED,
When you're cold you turn BLUE,
And when you die you turn PURPLE.
And you have the nerve to call me colored?
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away..
put this on your page if u hate racism.

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace,or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment),who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with alot of things, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone- Bearhug946, EdwardCullenEqualsLife, Stephanie Deux,Randomenated-Cullen!, sweetcrimefighter, Moonchild707, ElissaB, Angellique13,Grace of the New Moon, your a special kind of stupid, the love of hate

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole! Copy and paste this if you have ever wondered the same thing.

╔══╦══╦══╗ You have been diagnosed
║╔╗║╔═╣╔╗║ with Obsessive Cullen
║╚╝║╚═╣╚╝║ Disorder put this on your
╚══╩══╩══╝ profile if you have it too.

╔═╦══╦═╗ Put this on your
║╩╣║║║║║ site if you support
╚═╩╩╩╩═╝ Emos . . . .

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this onto your profile.

If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to slap someone, copy and paste this into your profile.

Only crazy people understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, put this in your profile.

It is rumored that if Ambercrombie and Fitch told the human population to suffocate themselves, 90 percent of the population would do it. If you're part of the 9 percent that would instead laugh it's butt off, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you're part of the other 1 percent, like me, who would instead wonder who the heckell Ambercrombie and Fitch is, also copy and paste this to your profile.

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a glass door, copy and paste this into your profile

If you don't do drugs copy/paste this into your profile

I promise to remember Bella

Each time I carelessly fall down

And I promise to remember Edward

Whenever I'm out of town

I promise to obey traffic laws

For Charlies sake of course

And I promise to remember Jacob

When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Carlisle

Whenever I am in the emergency room

And I promise to remember Emmett

Everytime there's a huge boom

I promise to to remember Rose

Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty

And I promise to remember Alice


I promise to remember Nessie

When I see that beautiful bronze hair

And I promise to remember Esme

When someone tells me they care

I promise to remember Jasper

Whenever my stomach isn't curled

And I promise to remember the Volturi

When someone speaks of dominating the world

Yes, I promise to love Twilight

Wherever I may go

So that all may see my obsession

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile.

If someone gave you money for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever read/started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.

If you have ever forgotten your own name, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten your own age, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have a weird habit of writing inside jokes somewhere anyone can see, copy and paste this into your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

If you could easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever read past 3 in the morning, post this on your profile.

If you've ever pulled on a door that said push, or pushed on a door that said pull, post this to your profile.

If you cried when Edward broke up with Bella in New Moon, post this in your profile!! I KNOW I DID!

65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read, if you are part of the 35 percent who read more than watch TV then copy and paste this to your Profile.

Ninety five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent that aren't, copy this, put it in you profile.

If you've ever went to tuck your hair behind your ear, and end up accidentally poking yourself in the eye, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever fallen down the stairs, post this in your profile.

If you have ever ran up a down escalator or vise-versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a pet copy and paste this on to your profile.

If you like reading, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tried to hi-five somebody and end up hitting them in the head, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your so obsessed with Twilight, that whenever you hear thunder, you think it's vampires playing ball, copy this to your profile

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"

If you've ever tripped over your own toe, copy this to your profile.

If you think Mike should be run over by a bus copy and paste this into your profile!!

If you think that bus should also take out Eric copy and paste this into your profile!!

Guess what? Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, But Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people jealous.

If you hate a person, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

When other little girls wanted to be ballerinas, I kinda wanted to be a VAMPIRE

PROUD TO BE A BRUNETTE! (Edward prefers them. Take that, blondes!)

Which do you prefer??

Edward or Jacob - Edward.

Emmett or Jasper - Jasper

Emmett or Edward - Emmett as a brother and Edward as a lover.

Emmett or Jacob - Emmett

Sam or Jacob - neither

Seth or Leah - neither

Bella or Edward - Edward, because I would be his Bella.

Carlisle Cullen saving lives since 1640

Jasper Whitlock the best fighter since 1861

Esme Evenson caring since 1895

Marry Alice Brandon cute since 1901

Rosalie Lillian Hale hotter than you since 1915

Emmett Paul McCarty stronger than you since 1935

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."

On Sunbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."

T

TW

TWI

TWIL

TWILI

TWILIG

TWILIGH

TWILIGHT

N

NE

NEW

NEW M

NEW MO

NEW MOO

NEW MOON

E

EC

ECL

ECLI

ECLIP

ECLIPS

ECLIPSE

B

BR

BRE

BREA

BREAK

BREAKI

BREAKIN

BREAKING

BREAKING D

BREAKING DA

BREAKING DAW

BREAKING DAWN

M

MI

MID

MIDN

MIDNI

MIDNIG

MIDNIGH

MIDNIGHT

MIDNIGHT S

MIDNIGHT SU

MIDNIGHT SUN

FAKE VS. REAL

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.

REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr./Mrs.

REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.

REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Dang … we really messed up … but that sure was fun!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.

REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool withyou at that time of the month.

REAL FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it’s yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.

REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.

REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.

REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what’s wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE FRIENDS: Make you say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.

REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this.

REAL FRIENDS: Will copy and paste this

If you have ever stared at the wall - or the ceiling or the floor - and stayed like that until someone asked you 'what are you staring at?', copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been distracted by your own nose, copy this into your profile.

If you just want to get away from the crazy people, hide in the dark where no one can find you, then copy this into your profile.

If you have a twin that looks nothing like you and/or isn't related to you, copy this into your profile.

If you feel like a ninja whenever you drop something and catch it.

If you were first in Mario Kart, you fell off a cliff, and then you were... last.

If whenever someone says 'I like your shirt', you look down to see what you're wearing.

If you look down at your cell phone when you're walking past someone you want to avoid.

If you hate when teachers say "From all the talking, I assume everyone is done."

If you have dropped your phone on your face while laying down texting.

If you hate it when you think of a really good comeback after the argument.

If you love it when teachers get off track and tell you stories about their life.

If your favorite song always seems to come on right as you pull into your driveway.

If you hate how the best part of your dream is always right about to happen when you wake up.

If you haven't lost it... you just... haven't found it yet.

If you and your best friend can say one word and almost die from laughing hysterically.

If you have to try SO hard not to laugh when you're getting scolded.

If you and your best friend could sit down next to each other, not say a single word, and walk away feeling as if it was the greatest conversation ever.

If you stop the microwave before it hits 0:00 to avoid hearing the loud BEEPs.

If you know because everyone's house has a different smell that yours must have one. But you still can't smell it!

If you love people who text back instantly.

If you stand in the shower for ages because the hot water feels soooo good.

If you really wish you could record your dreams and watch them later.

If you use your cell phone to see in the dark.

If you can't help but find everything hilarious at 4 AM.

If you think those 5 extra minutes of sleep really make a difference.

If your fridge has NOTHING in it to eat, no matter how full it is.

If all those years you watched Blues Clues, you never realized Blue was a GIRL.

If you can't stand to hear your own voice in videos or recordings.

If you pull out your phone and pretend to text in awkward situations.

If you love waking up in the middle of the night, and realizing you have more time to sleep

If you hate waking up from a good dream and it won't come back.

If your headphones are ALWAYS tangled.

Bella: Do I ever cross your mind?

Edward: No

Bella: Do you like me?

Edward: No

Bella: Do you want me?

Edward: No

Bella: Would you cry if I left?

Edward: No

Bella: Would you live for me?

Edward: No

Bella: Would you do anything for me?

Edward: No

Bella: Choose--me or your life

Edward: My life

The Bella runs away in shock and pain and the boEdward runs after...

Then he says: The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your arse off.

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you've reread TWILIGHT over ten times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you went to sleep at around 2 am or later reading the Twilight books, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that Emmett absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Chocolate chip cookies are yummy! If you agree, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you cried, screamed, or threw a fit when Edward left Bella in New Moon, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that the Twilight books are the best books known to woman, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you were think​ing about​ someo​ne while​ readi​ng this,​
you'​re defin​itely​ in Love.

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Will ask why you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Already have a shovel out, ready to bury that loser that made you cry.

Spread the Stupidity

Only in America ...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America ...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America ...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER ...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why can't womenput on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and

dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

I like this one!!
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal

This is Bunny. Copy and paste him onto your profile to help him dominate the world

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

All the good ones are either gay, married, vampires or fictional characters in books or movies.

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away (if well aimed).

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. (Stupid psychiatrist. :P )

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fanfiction is annoying, copy and paste this into your profile. (I MEAN COME ON!! I'M A V-A-M-P-I-R-E, THEREFORE HUMAN IDENTIFICATION IF POINTLESS!!)

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this on to your profile.

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents, if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts after using this product.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(But no peas?)

On an Amerian Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

CHECK CLOCK BEFORE READING

19 things to do at wal-mart:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

17. Throw skittles at people and yell, "Taste the rainbow!'

18. Go the toy section, get a light-saber and start challaging people to a jedi match.

19. Follow a random person and if they turn and ask why are you following me yell, "No I won't have sex with you!"

20. Walk up to random people and chant 'Jesus is with you, Jesus it with you' and throw water on them

Repost this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these things and add another one to the list! XD

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think everyone is out to get you, copy this into your profile.

If you think animal cruelty is wrong, copy this into your profile.

If you're crazy and damn proud of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil copy and paste this in your profile.

If you talk to yourself and aren't afraid to admit it copy and paste this into your profile.

This morning, I woke up and asked myself: "I wonder what I can do to piss someone off today...?"

If you can't beat them, join them, if you can't join them and they come after you, run for your life. If they catch you, pretend to be dead!

The crazy people made me their leader, but then my mom took me away from the asylum we were in...

They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well I think guns help. I mean if you stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill too many people. (unless your the Joker)

If you believe big red buttons should be pushed because they are big and red, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever wondered where these 'copy and paste' things came from copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever thrown something at your television when you saw a character you despised, whether it be a piece of popcorn, a fork, or a chair, copy and paste this to your profile

If you've ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things in your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy this to your profile

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start to Sing-A-Song of Six Pence at a random time. So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever copy and pasted something copy and paste this onto your profile

If you are obsessed with fan fiction copy this into your profile

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination put this on your profile

If, with no warning, laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, copy this on your profile

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If anyone's ever stared at you and you started laughing for no reason, copy and paste into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests copy and paste this on your profile

If there are times you just want to annoy people for the heck of it, copy and paste this on your profile

If you’ve been on the computer for hours on end reading multiple fanfictions copy and paste this on your profile

If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventilated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever tripped on your own feet copy and paste this on your profile

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this on your profile

If you have ever had an argument with yourself and LOST, copy and paste this on you profile.

If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes copy this on your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this on your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you were going to say it copy this on your profile

If you have ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head against a desk for no reason copy this on your profile

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the conversation copy this on your profile

If you have ever told a friend a story and they asked 'what are you talking about?', copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pissed off your friends to the point of hysteria, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever said you were 'going to run away' and just locked yourself in your closet, copy this into your profile.

Have you ever eaten a crayon? if so, copy this into your profile, then go wonder why the sky is blue.

Have you ever wondered what animals are saying to you? If a dog barks at you, some people say he's saying 'I love you!' but what if that's not true? I believe that whenever I piss off my cat, she's saying 'Screw you, bitches!'. If you agree that animals are saying mean and hurtful things about you, copy this into your profile, then proceed to give your pets what they want: food and a place to sleep.

If you believe that one day animals will rule us, copy this into your profile.

If you think an evil monkey is hiding in your closet, copy this into your profile.

If your friends are nuts, copy this into your profile.

If you own anything black, copy this into your profile.

If your cat is an annoying little baby that constantly wants attention, copy this into your profile.

Have you ever walked away from a conversation, even one that you started or were talking about? If so, copy this into your profile.

Are you mentally ill? If so, copy this into your profile, cuz u know you there is something wrong with you!

You are not perfect. Read it, understand it, accept it, copy it into your profile.

100 questions:
1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? I tripped on a mill

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? calender

3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP? i talk in my sleep
4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? contry

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN? ummm...does it matter??

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW? to sing
7. WHAT DO YOU MISS? him

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)? my family
10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC? idk
11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK? no
12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY? myself
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PERFUME FOR A GIRL? none - i never look at the labels...it just smells good

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE GENDER? black hair, brown eyes
15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO? mid-fall...the park

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK? COFFEE!!
17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING? peperoni
18. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE? ice cream

20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH? no
21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECIEVED? my blanket when i was born
22. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY? why do you need to know?? omg!! r u writting this down??
24 . FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND? idk

26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW? yes
27. WHAT KIND IS IT? one dog and an imaginary cat
28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING? no - i'd laugh in his face and say "hahahaha you bastard!! your missing out! NEXT!!"
29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU? Hand them your dairy...
30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED: why?

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES? WTF does that mean?
32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL MOST OFTEN? Like on my cell?
33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST? hold a mirror and look into it and point at it and say "Hey your the turd that annoys her the most"
34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE UNITED STATES?WTF am i answering theese for? is this going on my permanant record? Hey! I think you are writing this down!!
35. YOUR WEAKNESSES? Im not telling you!!

36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS? yes...ME!!
37. FIRST JOB? taking over the world
38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL? oh so your the turd that keeps calling me...
41.WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT? what were you doing?
40. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY? no
42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST? i could tell you...but i don't wanna

43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? no not that i know of
44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? MONEY!!...come on who doesn't?

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT? is this going to the FBI or something??
47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?. by 'wish on stars' do you happen to mean 'hope they don't crash land and burn us all death, just as the meteor killed the dinosaurs'? bitch, no
49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE? OMG!! WTF do u need 2 noe that 4??

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? no
51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? IDK

52. ANY BAD HABITS? yup
53 WHAT CD ARE YOU MOST EMBARRASSED TO HAVE ON YOUR SHELF? Demi Lavato

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? i might argue first - then get into a fist fight - then mureder her...yea maybe we could be friends...

56. DO LOOKS MATTER? I wouldn't know...
57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?If the FBI is reading this then I cant say...

58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME? in my mind
60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? How am i going to remember that?
61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE? wouldn't you like to know
62.WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A KID? Is he that jaint purple bastard/perv that sings to kids "I love you..."?
63. DO YOU USE SARCASM? nah - what do you think?
65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL? The oppisite of you...

66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? Keke

67. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE BAND/SINGER? I don't have a favorite

68. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? I don- you know what; I'm not going to repeat myself!
69. WHAT WAS YOUR ACT SAT SCORE? ?
70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Cookies and Cream

71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES? Well lets see; 1,8,2,6...ummm

72. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT? Wanna know something??...Your an ass...
73. DID YOU NOTICE THAT THERE WAS NO #64? No

74. WHATS THE FASTEST YOU HAVE GONE IN A CAR? How am i suposed to know? i don't sit and watch that thingy everytime someone is driving...what are you trying to say??
75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS? The question is... Do i care if any body answeres these questions? NO
76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO? the voices in my head
77. LAST THING YOU DRANK? IDK
78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? why do you need to know?

79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE/SAME GENDER? Looks...duh!!

80. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG? ?
81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE? look and a mirror and point at it and say "Hey, you're the turd she hates."
82. FAVORITE MONTH OF THE YEAR? dnt have 1
83. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN? Vergo
85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? Dark brown...almost black
86. EYE COLOR? dark brown
89. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTURANT? ew - probably taco bell
90. YOU LIKE SUSHI? no
91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED? the ceiling when i was bored
92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? Christmas

93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS? Used to
94. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT? ISK

95. KISSES OR HUGS? screw hugs - i tackle my friends when i see them
96. RELATIONSHIPS OR PLAYING THE FIELD?. WTF does that mean?

97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?. Remember? i bought you that pack of tic-tacs that one day...

98. WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU HAVE? a toy - it's orange and shiny and covered in dirt!
99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? reading? i'm writing a book
100. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE: I never had one =(

Whoever said nothing was impossible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

I've always wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my enemy to go swimming.

Be insane. Because well-behaved girls never made history.

'Liar, liar, pants on fire' is such a crude insult. It's rough, and trashy. But, 'Teller of untruths, your trousers have combusted', is so much more sophisticated, don't you think?

I'm the type of person who laughs three times at a joke. Once when it's told, once when it's explained to me, and once five minutes later when I actually get it.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! Yaaaaaaaaaay I am HYPEEEEEEER!!

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.

If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you doubt your own sanity all the time, copy and paste this onto your profile

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

If you think stereotyping is stupid, copy this into your profile. Just do it.

If you are sick of all these copy and paste things and want it to stop, leave this piece of garbage alone and pat yourself on the back for a job well done.

If you know the difference between "its" and "it's", copy and paste this into your profile.

sad story:

If you hate child abuse then please spread the word via this poem,

My name is sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm sradishing to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I sradish to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

WHAT EACH KISS MEANS

Kiss on the Upper​ chest​;​ I'm ready​.

- ​Kiss on the Foreh​ead;​ We'​re cute toget​her .

-​Kiss on the Cheek​;​ We'​re frien​ds.

-​Kiss on the Hand;​ I adore​ you.

- ​Kiss on the Neck;​ I want you, now.

-​Kiss on the Shoul​der;​ Your perfe​ct.

-​Kiss on the Lips;​ I think​ I like you.

WHAT A GESTU​RE MEANS​
-​Holdi​ng Hands​;​ We defin​itely​ like each other​.

-​Slap on the Butt;​ Your fun.

-​Holdi​ng you tight​ press​ed again​st each other​;​ I want you.

-​Looki​ng into each other​'​s Eyes;​ I like you, for who you are.

-​Playi​ng with Hair;​ Let'​s fool aroun​d.

-​Arms aroun​d the Waist​;​ I like you too much to let go.

-​Laugh​ing while​ Kissi​ng;​ I am compl​etely​ comfo​rtabl​e with you.

Advic​e;​
Don'​t ask for a kiss,​ take one.

Please read-true story (not me)

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now.

I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God.

Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing.

He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check
Again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it.

There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much.

But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state.

The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

Less than 1 percent of teenagers don't use make-up. Are you one of those who don't? BE PROUD AND GLUE THIS THING IN YOUR PROFILE!

I am not afraid of the dark,

I am afraid of what is lurking in it.

I am not afraid of heights,

I am afraid of falling.

I am not afraid of falling in love,

I am afraid of not being loved back.

Find a guy whos calls you beautiful instead of hot,

Who calls you back when you hang up on him,

Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,

Who holds your hand in public and in front of his friends and family.

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he loves you and how lucky he is to have you.

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to what??.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club (that is the best part of dating is cuddling!)

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

WIERD POEM !!

Many many years ago
when I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow
who was pretty as could be.

This widow had a grown-up daughter
who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
and soon the two were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.

To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.

For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother.

Father's wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter's son.

My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She is my grandma too.

If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.

For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa.

Well! Have a nice day.

We love them for a million reasons, no paper do it justice. It is a thing of not the mind but the

heart.

A feeling.

Only felt.

This chain started in 2002.

It is a chain love letter.

In an hour you are supposed to repost

this.

Now here comes the fun part.

You then say the name of the person

you love or like,

then the person will say "I love you"

or "would you go

out with me".

NO JOKE!!

NOW THE COSENQUENCES!!

The consequences are:

If you break this chain letter, you

will have bad luck

with future relationships.

If you don't, you will be a happy camper. Congratulations! !

You have been chosen to participate in

the LONGEST and

LUCKIEST chain letter ever written on

the internet.

Once you read this letter, you must

IMMEDIATELY (within the hour)

post it with the title Message

25 Reasons to Thank my Mother:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe in the tiune God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

then copy and paste this in your profile

If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...

"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."

funny stuff

"God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns

"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown

“When there's a will, I want to be in it.” – Unknown

When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do.

Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it.

Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word.

Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you go to the most expensive store within fifty miles of your home, try on almost every peice of clothing, then walk out with nothing, saying none of it was your style.

Crazy is when you break a bone and laugh. Crazy is when you start saying different names from random shows wit your friend just to see who knows more names.

Crazy is when you shout at random people on the streat"THAT EVIL,PURPLE,GREEN POLKA-DOTTED MONKEY STOLE AND ATE MY TACO AGAIN!!"

Crazy is when you tell your teacher that the reason you're failing her class is because her hair is distracting you.

Crazy is when you go onto a busy street and shout "I like bananna flavoured".

Crazy is when you run upto a guy who looks, from the back, like Rob Pattinson and kiss him on the cheek.

Crazy is when someone says there 'team Jacob' and you run around the school field screaming in horror "GET THIS SHITTY DOG STENCH OFF OF MEEEEEEE".

Crazy is when you print of '79 things to do in an elevator' (a twilight fanfic) and do them!.

Crazy is when you run into a door and then throw a tanrum about why someone would put a door in a doorway.Daily.

If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

...V...Put this
...A...On your
...M...Profile
...P...If
...I...You
...R...Have
...E...That crazy
...S...Obsession over vampires© 0RiGiNAL TWILGIHT FAN

> >> This is weird, but interesting!> > >>> > >> If you
> can> > >>> > >> Raed this, you have a sgtrane mnid too> > >>> > >> Can you raed
> this? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.> > >>> > >> I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod
> aulaclty uesdnatnrd> > what I was rdanieg. > > >> The phaonmneal pweor of the
> hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig> > to a rscheearch at > > >> Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it
> dseno't mtaetr in> > what oerdr the ltteres in a > > >> word are, the olny
> iproamtnt tihng is that the> > frsit and last ltteer > > >> be in the rghit
> pclae. The rset can be a taotl> > mses and you can still > > >> raed it whotuit
> a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the> > huamn mnid deos not > > >> raed ervey lteter
> by istlef, but the word as a> > wlohe. Azanmig huh? > > >> Yaeh and I awlyas
> tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!> > If you can raed this > > >> forwrad it> > >>>
> > >> COPY AND PASTE ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT> > >>> > >> --> > >>> >

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If you think the whole Jacob/Nessie thing is WAY creepy, copy this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing Twilight Fanfictions...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you love Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett Cullen, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love God with your whole heart and are 100 percent proud of it, copy & paste this in your profile

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

Less than 1 precent of teenages don't use make-up. Are you one of those who don't? BE PROUD AND GLUE THIS THING IN YOUR PROFILE!

If you're against racism, prejuice, discrimination, or even stereotype, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. 80 of the talking you do today will be to yourself.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight, that whenever you hear thunder, you think of vampires playing baseball...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever become so obsessed with something that it is NOT even funny anymore and people think you’re insane, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you agree with Bella that her life without Edward is useless then copy this to your profile.

IF EDWARD AND BELLA DONT STAY TOGETHER I'M GONNA STAB SOMEONE! Repost this if you agree

If you think Edward Cullen is the cutest boy on the planet copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile. Thinking it sucks is an understatement for me.

If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile!

95 of the kids out there are concerned about being popular and fitting in. If you are part of the 5 who aren't, copy this, put it into you profile and add you name to the list. AnimeKityCafe, Hyperactivly Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Revanant666, darkflame1516, AirGirl Phantom, Agent of the Divine One, pointless people of Pluto, itachikakashi, xXxLuna-of-the-ChosenxXx, bubbleyum, Sakura90873, tomboy14, the Reading Maid, Kiya-san, Cha-chan-hyper, h/t4eva, Stefanlover12, -I-Luv-Tugsy-, pieface01,melaniecullen96

IF you get called a nickname copy this into your profile and add your name to the list and say your nick name. Stefanlover12 "Robin Hood", -I-Luv-Tugsy "Kayzieboots", pieface01 "lalaki" or "dypie",melaniecullen96 "melo" "water-melon"

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you forgot your phone number when some one asks for it copy this into your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.(More like punch)

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever read morethan 10 at one time, copy/paste this in your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever spent hours just thinking about Twilight and alternate situations copy and past this on your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy and past this into your profle.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile

If, for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.
(coughtwilightcough)

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile.

If you have the biggest amount of OCD (Obsessive Cullen Disorder)-Copy and paste this onto your profile

If you get way to excited for books, movies, ect. to come out, copy this into your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

Ninety-six percent of teens in the world today don't stand up for God. If you are one of the 4 percent that does put this in your profile

If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer

If you've ever had a laughing fit for no reason copy and paste this in to your profile.

If you've ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy and paste this in to your profile

If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

if you've ever walked into a wall before copy this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?” copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Edward's One True Love, oceaneyes85253, TheEmoSideOfMe, EdwardlovesChristyalways, Blue eyed vampwolf, finger craker, Airlin, vampire-twilight-freak, pieface01,melaniecullen96

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile

If you have an annoying younger--or older-- sibling, please copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have music in your soul copy and paste this into your profile.

Paste this into your profile if you are a Procrastination addict.

Only crazy people understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, put this in your profile.

65 percent of teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then reading ,if you are part of the 35 percent who read more than watch TV and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever spelled your name wrong, copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love God with your whole heart and are 100 percent proud of it, copy & paste this in your profile.

Even when you cant see Him, GOD is there! if you believe in GOD put this in your profile.

If you've ever spent numerous hours looking for stuff that remind you of any of the Cullens/Swans, copy and and paste this into your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you think Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read people’s profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are someone who begs to differ from the crowd, copy this and paste it into your profile.

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile

You know you live in 2009 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen name or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.

12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

Life isn't passing me by, it’s trying to run me over.

When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

You call me a B well a B is a female dog. A dog barks. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment :D

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy:Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love.

There was a man who was rich, staying at a really nice hotel. One day when he was walking home from work, there were three girls from seven to fifteen telling people that they would do anything for them to get paid. They were clearly poor and had no where to stay. The man asked them if they would do anything for him if he paid them twenty dollars each and the girls agreed. He gave his hotel card to the three girls and told them to go to his room and he would be there soon. While the girls went, he went out to buy buckets of ice cream and candy and movies for them to watch. He went back and the whole night he treated the girls to room service and sweets, playing games and watching movies. If you believe the man did the right thing and that there is good in everyone, copy and paste this into your profile.

Did you know...

kissing is healthy.

bananas are good for period pain.

it's good to cry.

chicken soup actually makes you feel better.

94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.

lying is actually unhealthy.

you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.

it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.

89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.

it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.

chocolate will make you feel better.

most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.

a good friend never judges.

a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.

boys aren't worth your tears.

we all love surprises.

Now... make a wish.

Wish REALLY hard!!

WISH WISH WISH WISH

Your wish has just been recieved.

Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...

Your wish will be granted.

1.

If practice makes perfect & nobody's perfect, why practice?

2.

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God...I could be eating a slow learner.

3.

What would a chair look like, if your knees bent the other way?

4.

Why do our noses run and our feet smell?

5.

What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?

6.

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

7.

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

8.

When someone with multiple personalities threathens suicide, can that be considered a hostige situation?

9

What Happens If You Get Scared Half To Death Twice?

10.

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

11.

Why do they call it "common sense" when it's so rare?

12.

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

13.

If you get corn oil by squeezing corn, how do you get baby oil?

14.

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

15.

If electricity comes from electrons does it mean morality comes from morons?

16.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

17.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

18.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19.

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

20.

If God didn't want us to eat people, why did he make them out of MEAT?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

If you think that my profile is waaaay to long, but have no intention of stopping, copy and paste this into your profile.

Now for some randomness!! :)( and i can be really random!!):P

"Come to the dark side, we have Edward Cullen!"

sarcasm; my anti drug.
if you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!

OMG! i think i just saw a flying bird! let me write that down in my 'things i dont really give f about' notebook.

yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.

i speak fluent sarcasm.

yea im one of those crazy overly obsessive teenage girls.
forget a prince with a horse, i want a vampire with a volvo.

bob tried to take my twilight books. bob isnt with us anymore.

i am a twilightaholic.

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda."

I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.

"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"He who laughs last didn't get it."

Never knock on Death's door-ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that.

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

-Education is important; school however, is another matter.

-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

Sometimes I wonder "why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

"Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you."

You know you live in 2009 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace.
4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.
6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.
7.As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
8. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.
9. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.
10. You were too busy to notice number five.
11. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.
12. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.
13. Put this in your pro if you fell for it. You know you did. (Yup, every SINGLE time!)

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

If you try to control your thoughts because Edward might hear them, copy and paste to your profile.

Don't Like My "Twilight" Obbsession?

Bite Me.

or me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Nightfall by Vamp lover94 reviews
This is a story similar to Twilight. Alice Swan just moved to Forks, Washington to live with her dad after her mom got remarried. After moving to Forks she meets Jasper Hale, a quiet vampire. AND PLEASE,PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 17 - Words: 28,918 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 7/15/2014 - Published: 8/29/2010 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Captured Love by Eminnis reviews
Set in Civil War Jasper is captured by Union soldiers for information. The one behind this operation? General Mary Alice Brandon. Eventually, love blossoms between the two. But with them on differant sides, can that love remain? T for some violence.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 9,769 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 7/14/2014 - Published: 2/10/2010 - Jasper, Alice
My Major by Major Whitlocks Little Soldier reviews
What if in New Moon Bella found a new mate? Jasper was never apart of the Cullen coven he is Major Jasper Whitlock the most feared vampire in the world also known as the god of war.Re-written
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 11 - Words: 14,627 - Reviews: 826 - Favs: 1,034 - Follows: 1,163 - Updated: 1/27/2013 - Published: 4/21/2010 - Bella, Jasper
Unsinkable by hergoldeneyes reviews
REWRITTEN AH AU - Alice finds herself a passenger on the unsinkable Titanic, sailing to New York to start a new life with her family, and maybe even the charming Jasper Hale. But when the ship goes down, will their happily ever after sink along with it?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 22,488 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 6/26/2012 - Published: 7/16/2010 - Alice, Jasper
UnCivil War by Aidahlia Montague reviews
Bella, a vampire dun dun duuuun! . Jasper, an Ex-Confederate soldier. What happens when they meet again in Forks 150 years later? Do they still have feelings for each other? Ed/Rose, Alice/Em, Bella/Jazz, Carlisle/Esme.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 15 - Words: 34,149 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 85 - Updated: 6/24/2012 - Published: 6/8/2010 - Bella, Jasper
Addicted to Your Lies by UntamedHeartx reviews
Bella, living at the Cullens, discovers her newfound love named Jasper Hale after the death of her beloved, Edward, while Jasper unfolds the horrid truth of Bella & Edward's secret.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 38 - Words: 63,454 - Reviews: 197 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 98 - Updated: 5/16/2012 - Published: 7/25/2010 - Bella, Jasper
Dr Carlisle Cullen and his 16 year old wife by ZeldaPotter reviews
They fell in love in 1911, but when she's nearing death he must do all he can to save her. So Carlisle Cullen bites and marries 16 year old Esme Platt. Will lead up to the events of twilight. Trigger Warning: Mentions of rape and child abuse. ON HIATUS.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 25,058 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 4/5/2012 - Published: 4/21/2010 - Carlisle, Esme
Thank You For Saving Me by chick-2010 reviews
What happens when Bella gets her heart broken again?. Devastated after finding out about Edward and Alice s affair, Bella tries to commit suicide only to be saved by Jasper. Now Bella is a vampire,can she and Jasper heal and love again?.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 28 - Words: 35,985 - Reviews: 462 - Favs: 498 - Follows: 357 - Updated: 2/18/2012 - Published: 7/18/2010 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
To Win You Have To Lose by tueststercus27 reviews
Edward is a cocky, arrogant high school student, who thinks he can get any girl in the school, but what happens when his friends make a bet that he can't even get the loner, Isabella, to even go to prom with him. Can he win Isabella's heart? AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 20 - Words: 85,455 - Reviews: 207 - Favs: 146 - Follows: 141 - Updated: 12/22/2011 - Published: 6/30/2010 - Bella, Edward
my butterfly is ready to open his wings by Klainerieg reviews
jasper is a normal teenager, except from the fact that his parents are billionaires,when he moves to forks and meets alice he falls in love. is he going to come clean to her about his family ,or is he going to live the lie all human
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,949 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 11/27/2011 - Published: 6/15/2010 - Alice, Jasper
Arms of sorrow by SPNlovur14 reviews
Elena left Stefan for Damon leaving him hurt. His world is fixed by his wife and his two daughters he's once again happy. But what happens when Elena and Damon come back read on Stefan, Damon, Elena, and Kiara are vampires BTW their kids are half vamps.
Vampire Diaries - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 10,099 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 10/21/2011 - Published: 3/6/2010 - Stefan, Damon
City of Connections by leechlover1901 reviews
Clary and Jace always had a special connection, though they have never met. They grew up together, faced the good and the bad times together, and eventually fell in love with each other. What happens, though, when they do meet? Cassandra Clare owns all .
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 18,366 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 8/31/2011 - Published: 5/11/2010 - Clary F., Jace W.
Sunset by FlyingFleshEater reviews
Of three things, I was absolutely certain. First, Alice Cullen was a vampire. Second, there was a part of her, and I wasn't sure how dominant that part may be, that thirsted for my blood. Third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with her. JPoV
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 36,403 - Reviews: 206 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 8/24/2011 - Published: 12/5/2008 - [Jasper, Alice]
A new change by BeAutIful.LiEs.PaInfUl.TrUthS reviews
Bella is the school nerd ignored and bullied by everyone. Her twin Izzy is the girl everyone loves. When the Cullens move in will they be able to see the real Bella? or will they hate her as well? My first story hope you like! P
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 12,616 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 7/1/2011 - Published: 5/28/2010 - Bella, Edward
Alice's Twilight by twilight-potterawesomeness reviews
Basically Twilight re-written. But instead of Bella falling in love with a vampire, it's Alice. I'm no good at summaries but read anyway! Raiting may go up as the story progresses.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 8,262 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 6/21/2011 - Published: 8/9/2009 - Alice, Jasper
Initium and Morior by BeccaIsCrazy reviews
Travel into the world of Never Never, otherwise known as Chaos; home of the Faeries. Everything changes when she is taken away from her life, discovers her past, and falls in love. Can she bring the fey back together? Rated T for mild romance and language
Iron Fey Series - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 15,322 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 5/18/2011 - Published: 8/30/2010
I think i'm going crazy over you by ForeverRose123 reviews
Bella's at her Uncle's funeral when she sees her dead uncle next to her. She tells her parents and they think she's crazy and send her away to a mental institute in New York. She meets the gang and things will never be the same again. B/J A/Ed R/Em ;
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 21 - Words: 67,220 - Reviews: 479 - Favs: 399 - Follows: 221 - Updated: 4/12/2011 - Published: 11/2/2009 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Revenge by Issabela reviews
Jasper killed Alice's parents and sister when she was five years old. Twelve years later, Alice is seventeen, adopted and a vampire hunter. She wants revenge on the person who killed her family. Or does fate have something else in mind?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 37,309 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 4/12/2011 - Published: 7/31/2009 - Alice, Jasper
To Keep You Safe by twolipps reviews
Brilliant scientist Bella McCarty has been receiving life threatening letters: Some one wants her dead. Jasper Whitlock is determined to do anything to keep her safe. A/H OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 36 - Words: 228,440 - Reviews: 1139 - Favs: 630 - Follows: 448 - Updated: 4/8/2011 - Published: 3/14/2010 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Golden Eyed Lover by AlexisS reviews
Alice Brandon is considered a freak in her hometown of Forks, Washington. What happens when her abusive mother makes her see a therapist for her "visions?" That therapist just so happens to be Jasper Hale, a vampire who thirsts for her blood.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 32 - Words: 74,457 - Reviews: 364 - Favs: 192 - Follows: 127 - Updated: 3/11/2011 - Published: 6/9/2009 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
When the Day met the Night by Phoenixofdarkness62 reviews
Jasper is still longing for dearly departed Maria. Alice is waiting for a mysterious man to finally arrive in town. The thing is, they're as opposite as the day and the night in almost every sense of the pharse.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 11,019 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 2/20/2011 - Published: 8/20/2010 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
The Iron King by SeEmYaWeSoMeNeSs reviews
Emileigh Chase has a secret destiny-one she could never have imagined... Then again. She was always a bit of a daydreamer. Ah, who cares? Follow the tales of a snarker in the same situation as Meghan... and watch the differences unfold.
Iron Fey Series - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,659 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 2/19/2011 - Published: 2/6/2011
The Princess and The Servant by Miscellaneous 7 reviews
For Julie Kagawa's The Queen Is Coming: Contest and Giveaway. "Right then and there, I decided to be one-hundred percent fey and stop lying to myself: I was in love with Meghan Chase." -Puck.
Iron Fey Series - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,241 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 10 - Published: 1/30/2011 - Puck, Meghan - Complete
I'm Right Here Darling by CompleteFictionFanatic reviews
Edward gets too protective and does not allow Bella to even speak to Jacob and makes her stay away from some of his own family members. But what happens when Bella finds someone who is willing to stand up for her and that Edward may not be the one at all?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 25 - Words: 65,891 - Reviews: 466 - Favs: 419 - Follows: 242 - Updated: 1/13/2011 - Published: 6/11/2010 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Love In Progress by Scars for Blood reviews
Alice's mom walked away from her when she was little, Jasper is the stuck up popular boy in a band. What will happen when he invites her to the parade? BAd summary, prettty good story.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,107 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 12/27/2010 - Published: 11/17/2010 - Alice, Jasper
Love and Hate by DracoMalfoyLuver1414 reviews
When Alice's parents are killed she's forced to choose between living with her Aunt in Forks or living in an asylum in Mississippi. Her new family has no idea about her visions and wont tell them whats wrong. What happens when a boy comes along? R and R.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 15 - Words: 13,689 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 12/21/2010 - Published: 8/15/2010 - Alice, Jasper
Camp Cullen rewrite by chefgirl4622 reviews
Bella was into a lot of bad things before getting sent to C.C. An abusive bootcamp run by vampires.But her behaviour changed when she met Edward. They fell in love, and everything seemed to be great. Until her past caught up with her...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 26 - Words: 41,414 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 11/28/2010 - Published: 11/26/2009 - Bella, Edward
College Romance by May Swann reviews
Jasper Hale is a college musician with a complicated life flowing around his feuding dorm mates. When he meets a poor girl who was about to be mugged by homeless druggies, they started off on the wrong foot. Despite everything, he falls for her. AH/AU
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,841 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 11/26/2010 - Published: 7/22/2010 - Jasper, Alice
Battle of the Sexes by Lady Josephynne reviews
Bella, Rosalie, and Alice are three girls who have it all: money, good looks, and a job as co-founders and publishers of one of the fastest rising publishing companies. Have they finally met their match in Edward, Emmett, and Jasper? ON INDEFINITE HIATUS!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 12,029 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 10/20/2010 - Published: 11/28/2008 - Bella, Edward
Friday nights Karaoke nights by Fathersky24 reviews
Bella and Rose both have boyfriends and Alice being the one without a boyfriend often feels left out. she goes on many "blind dates" much to her frustration.so what will happen when their local club starts a karaoke night up. will she find true love? AxJ
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,086 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 9/21/2010 - Published: 8/9/2010 - Alice, Jasper
Letters by LuvrOfAll reviews
Bella lived in 1861 during the Civil War. Her boyfriend Jasper went to war and was soon MIA. She gets turned into a vampire while watching the stars at Jasper's grave. Two hundred years later who does she find in high school? please read and review.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 19,963 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 149 - Follows: 131 - Updated: 9/11/2010 - Published: 7/25/2010 - Bella, Jasper
My Childhood Enemies Child by kallysalvatore reviews
Mary Alice Brandon and Jasper Whitlock mortal enemies since they were 4 years old, they are forced to share the same friends, school, classes, but what happens when parenthood hits them? Full summary in chapter one : ;
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 30,873 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 8/23/2010 - Published: 7/11/2010 - Alice, Jasper
Abused into Love by leechlover1901 reviews
Bella and her little sister, Maggie, have been abused by Charlie for years. After they run away, they run into the Cullens. They help them. But when Edward meets Bella, he wonders how someone could be so mean to an angel... Disclaimer: I ONLY own Maggie
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 18 - Words: 17,809 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 169 - Follows: 82 - Updated: 8/22/2010 - Published: 7/31/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
A New Start by mallorysmannequin reviews
Bella decides to go to The College of Charleston to start out on her own and meets a young man named Jasper. He helps her come out of her shell and she helps him get rid of his bad boy ways. BEING REDONE.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 57,121 - Reviews: 152 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 79 - Updated: 8/20/2010 - Published: 7/6/2010 - Bella, Jasper
Southern Twist by crazykid45 reviews
When Princess Bella's parents force her to marry the ever so overprotective Edward Cullen, will she run away or go through with her parent's wishes. Right now could be B/E or B/J
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,024 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 8/18/2010 - Published: 7/23/2010 - Bella, Jasper
Triangle by LuckyCharmed97 reviews
Jasper had spend all these years alone. When he found Alice, he thought his loneliness was over. But Edward took her away. And now, Bella came to his life. But before everything become a fairy tale, he found out he's about to compete his brother again.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 17 - Words: 14,321 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 8/11/2010 - Published: 4/10/2010 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Unexpected Love by Love2Laugh4Life reviews
Jasper Hale is owns a modeling company and is a sexy beast himself. Bella swan is a poor married girl. How can these two people find love in the most unexpected way? Read and review please :
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 29,480 - Reviews: 139 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 8/10/2010 - Published: 5/29/2010 - Bella, Jasper
Love The Way You Lie by Turnituploud feeltheambiance reviews
Alice's life with James is less than prefect. Much less. She has to do whatever he says and will be punished if she doesn't. But one day, when she meets an old friend who she hasn't seen in four years, everything will change…
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 594 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/9/2010 - Alice, Jasper
The Prize by DocHollidaysGal85 reviews
Each year Capricorns village holds a competition,the black jackets are competing for a prize: a woman. This woman's name is Kris,a young bank employee kidnapped by Cockerell & Flatnose.What happens when Basta wins the competition? Can Kris escape? RatedT
Inkheart - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 72,318 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 8/8/2010 - Published: 5/12/2010 - Basta - Complete
Husband For Hire by DreamingOfParadise reviews
Bella isn't overly impressed by her womanizing housemate Edward Cullen but, under exceptional circumstances, she has to pretend that he is her husband. Drama unfolds as the pair have to lie and convince those around them. A short story with OOC characters
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 28,560 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 167 - Follows: 93 - Updated: 8/2/2010 - Published: 3/5/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Sapphire Amulet by ebtwisty9 reviews
AU: Ship watcher Bella is kidnapped onto a pirate ship where the captain, Edward, had sworn to never let a woman except for his family to set foot. Can Bella prove her worth? ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 70,252 - Reviews: 1918 - Favs: 1,583 - Follows: 1,032 - Updated: 7/29/2010 - Published: 3/30/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Isabella Swan: Orphan? Princess? by natalieNhearts reviews
Isabella Swan: orphaned at the age of six. What happens when a certain honey eyes family adopts her when shes 15? What happens when she catches the eye of a certain bronze haired god, or will she fall for the southern blonde sweatheart when shes older? R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,750 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 7/23/2010 - Published: 7/13/2010 - Bella, Edward
The Boy by nia-ox reviews
Bella meets a nameless guy during a dance...but is he better off as a dream? One shot, might write more if there's demand, AH AU
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,329 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 11 - Published: 7/23/2010 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Sunrise by Truth.In.Life reviews
Renesmee Cullen and Jacob Black finally had children but will things turn out as they should, or will it be a disaster? As Renesmee's daughter enters high school she learns what it feels like to experience love and bloodlust. What will she do?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,028 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/21/2010 - Published: 4/8/2010
Agent A by DracoMalfoyLuver1414 reviews
Alice, Edward and Bella are all agents. They're all assigned to thr same mission. Protect the President's daughter, Rosalie. What happens when two guys get involved? Will they be of great help or screw everything up? AH. Please R&R. T because Im paranod.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,132 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 7/12/2010 - Published: 7/5/2010 - Alice, Jasper
Hush Little One by xoxoWishICouldSparklexoxo reviews
Emmett and Rosalie are in Seattle shopping when they find a little girl called Bella who was hiding from someone. They take her in, but what will everyone think of her? Will the person who took her come back for her? CANNON COUPLES. NOT AH. Kind of AU.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,468 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 7/11/2010 - Published: 6/12/2010 - Bella, Edward
Just Friends by Poddle reviews
Bella Swan has a crush on Edward Masen but thinks they'll only ever be just friends. What will happen when they have to share a cottage together as part of a school assignment? *All Human!*
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 27 - Words: 32,648 - Reviews: 445 - Favs: 340 - Follows: 194 - Updated: 7/9/2010 - Published: 8/16/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Be My Escape by You'reTheMoon reviews
After running away from home, Alice finds herself taken in by an inhumanly beautiful family. Are they really human? And what happens when she takes a particular interest in one of them? AU. Jasper/Alice.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 8 - Words: 8,869 - Reviews: 131 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 6/19/2010 - Published: 7/25/2008 - Alice, Jasper
A total different world by Love2Laugh4Life reviews
all human. Max moves to a knew school pretty much the same storry line with a twist : and it takes me a while to update so if you would like to read my story please be patient : reviewws thanxs so i know im on the right track!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 7,221 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 6/19/2010 - Published: 6/20/2009 - Max, Fang
18 kids by The Real Alyssa R. Cullen reviews
Esme Platt has 10 kids.Carlisle Cullen has 8.What happens when the two get married.Let's just say craziness ensues.These questions are all answered.Is it possible to fall in love with your adopted sibling? How much money? and Who gave them a credit card?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,056 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 6/11/2010 - Published: 11/22/2009
Bittersweet by Evolette17 reviews
AH&OOC. Edward and Jacob are brothers - Bella has no idea. She falls in love with both boys at the same time, eventually finding out that they're adoptive siblings. ExB or JxB story? Reviewers can choose! R&R longer summary to keep this story going!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 206 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/23/2010
Bella Black by Evolette17 reviews
What if in Eclipse, Bella chose Jacob instead of Edward when she found out she loved him, too? They get married. Cullens move away. She has a baby… or more. Just a short view of their anniversary.. *Adding more chapters now!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,593 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 5/7/2010 - Published: 9/9/2009 - Bella, Jacob - Complete
A Cure for a Tragedy by Zaidita reviews
Everyone knew who he was, the Night's Guardian Jasper Hale, quiet and dangerous. No one knew who she was but Jasper wanted to know. In a world where vampires are feared, the people rely on a protector, but what happens when he falls in love with the enemy
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 16 - Words: 46,579 - Reviews: 333 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 4/28/2010 - Published: 8/16/2009 - Jasper, Alice - Complete
Carlisle And Esme: True Love Never Dies by Caroline S reviews
She was a simple girl from Ohio, he was from the refined location of England in the 17th century. How did the vampire fall in love with the fragile teenager? How would they begin and spend eternity with each other? The story of Carlisle and Esme Cullen.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 12 - Words: 23,119 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 3/18/2010 - Published: 6/15/2009 - Esme, Carlisle
The School Gyrls by The Real Alyssa R. Cullen reviews
Alice,Rosalie,Bella,and Alyssa are freshman at Summerdale all girls boarding school.With the nasty cheerleader who can get anything she wants, to the Barbie monitors, the girls will have to somehow prove themselves at the Stunt party and get the guys.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,040 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 3/15/2010 - Published: 2/24/2010
Why Her? by Carlisle'sCoven reviews
What if Bella never existed? Would Edward ever find happiness? Would a diferent love intrest have the same happy ending? We suck at summaries, sorry Please R&R.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 25,015 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 3/11/2010 - Published: 6/16/2009 - Edward - Complete
The Player vs The Gymnast by The Real Alyssa R. Cullen reviews
Alice has just started Luna college. A school where you have to be talently gifted to succede.While there she meets Jasper Whitlock the schools player.To unliking she has him as her roomie.When Jasper takes sight of Alice, he want her but she has a plan.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,310 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 16 - Published: 10/25/2009 - Alice, Jasper
Pixie who by The Real Alyssa R. Cullen reviews
no one knows who Alice Brandon is except her best friend bella, bella's boyfriend Edward.But when she gets a make over from Rosalie a new girl shows up the next day to perform at the talent show but is she really that new or just new to most people.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,240 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 10/24/2009 - Published: 9/2/2009 - Alice, Jasper
A Alicerella story by The Real Alyssa R. Cullen reviews
Alice Brandon loves to dance.But she's a maid to washed up star Girivana.She is to do what ever she and her daughters say.When pop star Jasper Whitlock returns to their school.One night at the dance they dance together when she drops her I phone.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,194 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 10/20/2009 - Published: 9/23/2009 - Alice, Jasper
Sky High by The Real Alyssa R. Cullen reviews
Bella,Edward,Jasper,Alice,Rosalie,and Emmett are starting Sky high.At first they do not get along at all.When they are forced to be partners with the one of them they hate most they become close,but will thier differences come back when SH needs them most
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,202 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 9/26/2009 - Published: 9/24/2009
normal college girls to bad ass cheerleaders by The Real Alyssa R. Cullen reviews
Bella,Alice,and Rosalie Swan are in college with their brother Nick.They used to be normal college girls,did great in school had a boyfriend.Till one day they are each dumped.They soon become bad ass cheerleaders.What happens when the notice the Cullens
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,072 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 9/20/2009 - Published: 9/6/2009
Lover I'll Be Your Lover Too by KeepersOfTheNaughtySparkle reviews
Age of Edward Contest Entry: In Medieval England, the pompous Prince Edward requests the 'services' of a particular maid, the beautiful Isabella, in his personal chambers...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,351 - Reviews: 98 - Favs: 364 - Follows: 71 - Published: 7/13/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
On Opposite Ends by DarkGoldenEyedAngel reviews
E is the heir to the throne who's never loved before.B is a girl in the lower city who doesn't believe in love.When E decides to sneak out of the palace one day, they can't help but notice each other.Will they fall in love? AH. AU. Full summ. inside.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 25 - Words: 54,282 - Reviews: 362 - Favs: 255 - Follows: 142 - Updated: 4/30/2009 - Published: 7/17/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Blank Paged Book by i.luv.vamps reviews
Isabella is a Twilight fan but she lives in little old upstate New York where nothing ever happens. But when she and her friends buy new Eclipse books, There's something different about hers. Why is Edward out of the pages and in her life? Rated T 4 safet
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 24,967 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 8/28/2008 - Published: 5/11/2008 - Edward - Complete
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8366 - Favs: 7,483 - Follows: 1,718 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
Vampires in Vegas by vjgm reviews
Alice and Rosalie decide to take Bella to Vegas for a bachelorette party against her will. The boys feeling leftout, decide to get themselves into a little trouble too. 1st fanfict...rated T
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 40,254 - Reviews: 1474 - Favs: 1,997 - Follows: 419 - Updated: 9/28/2007 - Published: 9/21/2007 - Complete
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Grew up a Screw up reviews
alice is abused and when a certain family moves to town will she be saved from her abusing mother or will jasper choose maria over her?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 788 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 6 - Published: 11/20/2010 - Alice, Jasper
Mrand MrsSmith reviews
Alice is a assassin and she is running from the FBI, Bella and Jasper are agents hunting her down but Alice quickly finds herself attracted to him but she knows they harbor a deep and dangerous secret...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 341 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/3/2010 - Alice, Jasper
True Love Never Dies reviews
bellas dad is a vampire hunter and edward is a vampire, what will happen when Bellas once secure your world is smashed to pieces? please R/R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,154 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 7/29/2010 - Published: 7/28/2010 - Bella, Edward
Liar reviews
what would happen if bella was changed before she met edward? and after she met edward when she wanted to settle down and have a life as normal as a vampire could get her old creator came after her and wanted her back, will there be a fight over bella?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 4,419 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 7/23/2010 - Published: 5/13/2010 - Bella, Edward