Foosemittee
hide bio
Poll: Is is acceptable to submit critical reviews if they are anonymous? Vote Now!
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 04-30-10, id: 2347193, Profile Updated: 01-31-13
Author has written 29 stories for Twilight, Alice in Wonderland, Drood, Fairy Tales, Doctor Who, Harry Potter, Chronicles of Narnia, Parodies and Spoofs, Phantom of the Opera, X-overs, True Blood, Pride and Prejudice, and Moulin Rouge.

A Note: If I actually like your story or the idea behind it, I will be completely honest with you about spelling mistakes and grammar errors. I am sorry if I seem rude, but I never mean to start flames--so, if you don't like what I've said, just message me calmly asking what I meant and why I said it, and you'll find out that I was just trying to help.

Also, if you leave a negative review anonymously, I will delete it, because usually it will be full of spelling errors which just annoy me to no end. If you think my story sucks balls, don't just say 'Omg ur story sux ballz ur so gay and retarded'. Use your real username, and calmly inform me that you dislike my story, plainly stating the reasons.

Commas!!!

Harry Potter is over guys.

Harry Potter, after seeing Malfoy's naked form in the moonlight, has realized that his bisexuality was actually the manifestation of his own insecurity, and has henceforth realized that he is totally straight.

Harry Potter is over, guys.

I am addressing a group of people when I say that Harry Potter, the popular series written by J.K. Rowling, has reached its end.

Harry Potter, is over guys.

Sentence fragment--makes no sense. It should be I just learned about Harry Potter; he's no longer attracted to men.

Harry Potter...is over guys.

Harry Potter...(long pause)... doesn't feel attraction towards males anymore.

"Manon! Je t'aime!"

"Um...not interested? Lol au revoir"

Favorite Books:

Anything written by Neil Gaiman, Stephen King, Anne Rice, etc.

The Wild Road, by Gabriel King (I think...it's out of print now, so I might have forgotten the author's name)

Watership Down

Any and all of the works of Edgar Allen Poe

Most of Ray Bradbury's work

Some Robin McKinley

Very little modern vampire fiction

All of the books written by Holly Black

The Silver Kiss, by Annette Curtis Klause

Not Twilight (I read it. I puked.)

Favorite Shows:

Doctor Who

Sherlock

Pretty Little Liars (because I'm not immune to peer pressure)

My So-Called Life

Firefly

Luther

Downton Abbey

NOT GLEE (no offence, i just think it needs to be said...)

Favorite Movies:

Whole other story...if you're really, really interested, I have a blog where I review movies and just generally do what I do, which is rant about sexuality and males and how I want them to appreciate my awesome.

http://toltitude-stellarbell.blogspot.com/2011_05_01_archive.html

About my stories:

I'm just going to defend this one in case someone thinks it needs defending. The Modern Life of Caspian X is meant to bring the characters into modern times. The reason that Caspian is a raging alcoholic and all around screwup is because he is an attractive royal, which would most likely make him famous. Many celebrities end up going down the wrong paths in life. I thought it would be interesting if the celebrated prince of Narnia was just as human, and capable of making mistakes. Two of the Pevensies are not related to each other, but this is because I didn't think it would be realistic to have so many siblings that all knew Caspian well. Susan is his fiancee in the fic because the two characters showed an interest in each other in the books, and in reality their parents might have thought they would make a good match. Susan is bossy in the books, so this translated into her character in my story. Lucy is a drug addicted ho because in my story she was driven to this behavior due to her belief that she is inferior to Susan, which is also shown in C.S. Lewis' books.

Thanxmuch.

Anysomesucherallwho,

yeah! C'est moi!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH by Secondpillow reviews
Harry Potter eventually eats a sandwich and discusses life with a famous author.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 2,847 - Reviews: 1020 - Favs: 909 - Follows: 319 - Updated: 2/25 - Published: 8/27/2005 - Bellatrix L., Seamus F.
The Ones that Failed by Clar the Pirate reviews
If you think about the number of coincidences that string your average fairy tale together it's a wonder that any manage to succeed. But for the moment let's forget about them, because these are the ones that failed.
Fairy Tales - Rated: T - English - Suspense - Chapters: 33 - Words: 32,458 - Reviews: 208 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 2/22/2014 - Published: 6/26/2008
Interview with the POTO Characters by Erikroolsall reviews
Erik, and a few other characters from the Phantom of the Opera, are transported to the future to be interviewed and tested by a girl who refuses to let them leave until they accept change, or break their sanity. Will they be able to keep a level head long enough to go home? Or will Era finally get to them?
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 31,988 - Reviews: 241 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 1/6/2013 - Published: 12/2/2009
Only in a Dream by KATtheVampireBunny reviews
What if the roles of Alice in wonderland were taken on by teenagers? Including the Cheshire and all the little bunny guys. Only in my dreams would this happen! READ IT SLOW
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,247 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 7/25/2011 - Published: 9/8/2010 - Mad Hatter/Hatta
Problems with Fanfiction by The Sound Shaman reviews
When I see the phrase, "I suck at summaries plz just read" my experience has been that the story hidden in that link is of a similar quality to the ones herein. This story shall be added to whenever the idiocies of bad fanfiction make me rage-quit.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 474 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/7/2011
Up on the Roof by LadyAnalyn reviews
One Shot. Very short. It's 1999 and Jack is in L.A for some reason. He decides to go up to a roof and meets Angel. One sided flirting on Jack's part ensues.
Crossover - Angel & Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 928 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/16/2011 - Angel, Jack H. - Complete
Glisten by kasandra16 reviews
A poem based on Neil gaiman's version of Snow White, called "Snow, Glass, Apples". Rated T because of the themes in the short story.
Fairy Tales - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 123 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/18/2011 - Complete
What really happened in Wonderland ? by M-iikado reviews
Have you ever wondered ? What DID happen in Wonderland ? What if Alice wasn't so innocent in the end ? Random Wonderland poem :D
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 198 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Published: 3/11/2011 - Alice - Complete
taming wolves by lastofthecrimelords reviews
wolves don't make promises.
Fairy Tales - Rated: T - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 596 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 15 - Published: 3/7/2011 - Complete
if you touch me again i will by Clar the Pirate reviews
Mm, the title doesn't have capitals. A little portrait of one of those oh so noble and selfless youngest children who seem to populate fairy tales.
Fairy Tales - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 957 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/4/2011 - Complete
The Other Ones by Claire Harker reviews
When spending the summer at her grandmother's, Liv stumbles upon a srange world when she accidentally switiches bodies with a girl from there. Surrounded by qirky charaters Liv finds herself trying to get home and wondering if she even wants to go back...
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 16,869 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/4/2010 - Published: 3/8/2010
That's Some Bad Fanfic! by LucyCrewe11 reviews
Bad Narnia Peter/OC fanfictions are on the rise again when Peter gets Edmund to don a blonde wig and pretend to be him. Can Edmund make it through a chapter? And why is Lucy pretending to be Susan? Spoof/humour. One-shot.
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,000 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/7/2010 - Edmund Pevensie, Peter Pevensie - Complete
My Immortal: Ebony Redefined by One Deranged Scribbler reviews
A SERIOUS parody of a seriously bad fan-fiction. This is NOT a sequel to the on-going saga of awful by XXXbloodyrists666XXX, but it was most definitely my inspiration. The A/N explains a little bit better. Rated T just to be safe. Chapter 4 is UP!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,439 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 1/29/2008 - Published: 11/5/2007
A Really Bad Harry Potter Fanfiction by FaintlyAlarming reviews
Mary Sue's, poor plot, and banana pudding.DracoSues Pairing
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 460 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/5/2007 - Draco M. - Complete
Fanfiction Trouble by Elizabeth Tudor reviews
When badly written Mary Sue stories invade Grimmauld Place, will canon survive the encounter? Read if only to imagine their faces! ON HIATUS
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,156 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 7/15/2007 - Published: 6/24/2007
An Ode To Bad HP Fiction by Namyda reviews
A certain ex professor's reaction to fanfiction. Pointless but amusing. I should stop drinking. OMFG! Thanks to the mild interest in this I UPDATED!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 907 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/15/2006 - Published: 3/7/2006 - Severus S.
Harry Potter and co Write Fanfiction by Gryffindor777 reviews
Complete! Traces Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Harry's experience as they attempt to write a fanfiction. They think that hallmarks of bad fanfiction are actually requirements of all fanfiction, and therefore unwittingly mimic and parody them. please r&r
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 49,031 - Reviews: 406 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 7/15/2005 - Published: 5/22/2005 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Fairy Tale Stereotypes
Just addressing fairy tale stereotypes used in fanfiction-such as 'the prince meets a commoner and they wed without further ado', 'sassy inkeepers', and maybe more later.
Fairy Tales - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 269 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/11/2013
The Truly Gothic My Immortal reviews
A truly gothic retelling of My Immortal in the style (though not the high quality) of Edgar Alan Poe. This is meant to be a parody of both my immortal and bad 'gothic' writing-overuse of the word 'dark' is purposeful.
Parodies and Spoofs - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 246 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12/16/2012
Rabbit reviews
Beauty leaves her Beast shortly after their marriage. When she becomes a village midwife and is forced to care for a supposedly 'cursed' child, is it fate that brings her together with yet another monster? What is to become of this child in the wide world beyond?
Fairy Tales - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 3,758 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 11/6/2012 - Published: 4/16/2011
The Reverend Dodgeson's Opium Den reviews
The story of Lisbet Anders, Victorian-era drug dealer to the man also known as Lewis Carrol, and closet witch. Also partially inspired by the steampunk awesomeness of Abney Park.
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 1,852 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/30/2012 - Published: 6/4/2011
A Random Moulin Rouge Moment
From the author who brought you A Random Mary Sue, here's a similar thing...only for Moulin Rouge. No offense is meant to any members of any/all religions mentioned. I have the highest respect for all of your cultures, and your deities/prophets/gurus.
Crossover - X-overs & Moulin Rouge - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 419 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/7/2011 - Complete
Salem School of Witchcraft reviews
A young Harry Potter fan finds herself accepted into a prestigious Massechusetts school-for witches. Apparently, Harry Potter is real, but she's about to learn that American witchcraft is literally a whole other story.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 4,713 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 12/6/2011 - Published: 7/13/2011
After The Battle
Draco Malfoy is considered a criminal in the wizard world, and has no choice but to become a student at a prestigious college in order to try to get a Muggle job. Unfortunately, his past seems to have followed him...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,096 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/6/2011 - Published: 8/25/2011
My Immortal Parody reviews
I wondered how easy it really was to create that infamous work of fiction, and so I decided to do it myself. If some people believe I'm as idiotic as my story suggests, this experiment might actually lend credence to the idea that M.I. is a troll fic.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,398 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/6/2011 - Published: 8/25/2011
What Would Happen Now reviews
Phantom of the Opera in modern times. Just a vignette. Note: painfully realistic.
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 317 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Published: 8/24/2011 - Christine, Erik - Complete
Alexander Rhodes, Freedom Fighter
Alexander Rhodes, fighter of injustice, works his way through television, fairy tales, and almost everything else. His mission? Awesomeness.
Parodies and Spoofs - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 960 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/24/2011 - Published: 7/23/2011 - Complete
Another Sort of Sleeping Beauty
This might end up being just a vignette, but I'm thinking of adding more chapters and turning it into a story about a modern-day sleeping beauty tale from the point of view of the evil witch.
Fairy Tales - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 199 - Published: 8/12/2011
The Modern Life of Caspian X reviews
There are different relationships and none of the Pevensies are dating each other; so be grateful. Caspian has serious issues; his bitchy fiancee Susan and his tendency towards drinking, for instance. It could be hilarious, or it could suck. Whatever.
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,034 - Reviews: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/31/2011 - Published: 7/28/2011 - Complete
The Book reviews
The tale of a girl who finds herself in a world she doesn't understand after helping an elderly neighbor. After the woman dies, she leaves her house and her legacy of witchcraft to Greer, who has no idea what's going on.
Fairy Tales - Rated: T - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,613 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/31/2011 - Published: 7/30/2011
A Meeting In Fanfiction Haven reviews
There's a place where amazing characters can go to be safe from slash fiction and slutty Mary Sues like Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. Prince Caspian wants nothing more than to find this safe haven, which is ruled by Mr. Darcy.
Crossover - Chronicles of Narnia & Pride and Prejudice - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 524 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/28/2011 - Caspian X
Vamp'd
What happens when I decide that I don't like Bill, and that Jasper is too cool for his current setting-they meet up and pretty much form a badass awesome gang. Includes an appearance by Simon from The Silver Kiss! So, you know, yay! There is no bromance.
Crossover - Twilight & True Blood - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 469 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/28/2011 - Jasper, Bill C.
A Random Mary Sue reviews
I love New Orleans, and Elvis Costello, and a bunch of other stuff, and I got bored. This is a totally random fic in which a Mary Sue dies and Andy Cohen shows up and tries to lecture Twilight Sparkle about her clothing choices.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 788 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/28/2011 - Complete
What Really Would Have Happened reviews
A much more realistic short story. Review or don't-it's meant to inspire lulz among Potter fans and boredom among true twihards.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 413 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Published: 7/27/2011 - Complete
How My Immortal Came to Be reviews
A short story detailing the events behind the worst fanfiction ever written.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 909 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Updated: 7/26/2011 - Published: 5/30/2011 - Complete
Cinderella Is SO Not Kesha reviews
The story of Cinderella, only told by the 'ugly' stepsister to her nieces and nephews. Note: Jersey Shore-type language and a lot of French.
Fairy Tales - Rated: M - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,207 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/26/2011
Trippin' reviews
A girl at the dentist's office goes under only to go through an odd journey.
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 740 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/26/2011 - Complete
What Happened at the Dentist reviews
The tale of that time I was under anasthesia and thought I went to Narnia. My plans were to find Prince Caspian and to avoid a confrontation with Susan my least favorite character but what happened instead...well...it was odd. This is a true-ish story.
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 740 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/22/2011 - Complete
Words from A Raven reviews
A. Raven is the object of the riddle, "Why is a raven like a writing desk?". And he's none too happy about it. By the way, did I mention the whole 'Guardian of a parallel world' deal? He has troubles, that much is true.
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,122 - Reviews: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/21/2011 - Published: 5/15/2011
The Whys of Romance: Common Sense reviews
My reason for why the Doctor isn't with Rose or Amy or any of the other girls he ends up with in fanfictions. :
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 184 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 5/15/2011 - Complete
Juniper
A dark sort of vignette retelling the classic Blue Fairy Book fairy tale, Juniper Tree. Rated T for cannibalism : The italicized part at the beginning is a rewritten form of a poem in the story that is meant to be sung aloud.
Fairy Tales - Rated: T - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 415 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/17/2011 - Complete
Brothels in Fantasyland reviews
If the realm of fairy tales had a red light district...and all of our most famous storybook girls were prostitutes...what would it be like? Told from the point of view of a john. Rated M for prostitution. Sorry if this story ruins your childhood!
Fairy Tales - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,006 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/17/2011
Wolf reviews
My take on Little Red Riding Hood. In my story she's not so little, and hoods have nothing to do with it...also, there's no grandmother. This is a really short story that I wrote because...well, I guess I don't know why.
Fairy Tales - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 593 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Published: 4/17/2011 - Complete
Chess reviews
The story of the Cheshire cat, only in different terms. Is everyone in this story completely mad? Furthermore, ...AM I?
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,583 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 4/17/2011 - Published: 3/29/2011 - Cheshire Cat, Mad Hatter/Hatta - Complete
The Trouble with Alice reviews
...a non-twilight fan's take on the popular for some unknown reason series. I didn't make this just to rip the characters; this is an actual fanfiction. Just though i'd start small, you know? I'm saving all my awesome for the ending...just you wait...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,817 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 4/16/2011 - Published: 12/16/2010 - Complete
Drood
Deputy, the Reverend C., and Durdles each submit a little note, explaining why they think that they are more noteworthy characters than they are usually considered to be.
Drood - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 296 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/29/2011 - Complete