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Joined 05-05-10, id: 2353180, Profile Updated: 10-13-14
Author has written 3 stories for Doctor Who, Harry Potter, and Hunger Games.

When I was born, my parents abandoned me in a rubbish bin because I was so ugly. A hobo named Chiken found me and let me live in his luxury cardboard box.One day,Chiken left me on a boat while he went to steal some pacifiers from tourists. Unknown to him, the boat sailed off, and soon it entered Africa. The boat sailed down the Congo, where eventually I washed up near a family of gorillas found me and raised me as one of their own. They called me Hula Hoop. I was rescued last Tuesday. In the time I've been back I've seen many movies and films and books and stuff, and I hope you will find my fanfics grammatically incorrect and random. That's if you get any.

Favorite Quotes:

'Rules are there to be broken!' -My dad

"Sorry, I was in the la-la land" -my brother after zoning out (not in a joking manner, he really said that)

"Why bother to have a real conversation when we can just listen to someone else's?" - my friend Naomi on eavesdropping

Quotes of which I live my life by:


Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we may die!

Rules are there to be broken.

You must be tired after all that reading. Here's a story:

A teacher reads 'The three little pigs' to her kindergarten class on day.

"The first pig goes up to a man and says, "Can I use some straw to build my house, Sir?" She reads.

"Now, what does the man say to the pig?"

Jimmy put up his hand. "Yes Jimmy!"

"Well f* me, a talking pig!"

Okay, the end, moving on-

Follow me on tumblr! #smellslikegoat

And on polyvore! Come to think of it, I don't know anyone in real life who's on polyvore but for the hell of it: jemtara

Speaking of mofo characters, here's a list of my favorite:

Being Human: George and Nina :( It's been like two years and I still haven't got over 4.01. But Hal's great

Doctor Who: Wilfred Mott! I actually wish he could've been a full time companion. Better than Amy..

Merlin: Gaius, perpetually perturbed Gaius

Hunger Games: Haymitch, he's like the crazy version of Dumbledore really

Harry Potter: In the movies I love Seamus and his ability to blow everything up, but my favorite character has to be Ron

Orphan Black: Felix, I live for Felix

Star Trek: Bones is my spirit animal

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Titanic: The Novel by Sam Pembroke reviews
A novelization of Jame's Cameron's Titanic. This version begins when Ruth and Samuel marry in 1881.
Titanic - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 11,237 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 7/2/2016 - Published: 8/30/2015 - Rose D., Jack D., Cal H., Ruth D.
Cue Heroic Music: Star Wars Ficlets by Feeding-The-Wolves reviews
This is a set of funny, stupid ficlets, which are hopefully entertaining to read. Chapter 8: Mace has another spectacular breakdown while interrogating Jango Fett.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,976 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 3/2/2012 - Published: 4/19/2010
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Horn of Plenty reviews
Annalisa Falafelaf was once a high-class Capitol girl. That was before the rebellion. Now she is chosen for the 76th Hunger games, involving Capitol children. She knows she has no chance, but what happens when a group of Capitol rebels offer her help in return for helping them... with a dangerous job. (read for full description) SPOILERS FOR MOCKINGJAY
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,065 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 9/22/2013 - Published: 8/9/2013
The Voldemort Diaries reviews
Voldemort had no nose, no heart, and no life. But even dark lords need some love. In these thrilling chapters, our favourite villain will ride the rollercoaster of romance. Disclaimer: I don't own anything!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,767 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 4/6/2013 - Published: 12/20/2011 - Voldemort
100 Things We've Learned from Doctor Who reviews
Over the years, us Whovians must've picked up a few valuable lifelessons...
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 925 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/3/2011 - 10th Doctor, 11th Doctor