When I was born, my parents abandoned me in a rubbish bin because I was so ugly. A hobo named Chiken found me and let me live in his luxury cardboard box.One day,Chiken left me on a boat while he went to steal some pacifiers from tourists. Unknown to him, the boat sailed off, and soon it entered Africa. The boat sailed down the Congo, where eventually I washed up near a family of gorillas found me and raised me as one of their own. They called me Hula Hoop. I was rescued last Tuesday. In the time I've been back I've seen many movies and films and books and stuff, and I hope you will find my fanfics grammatically incorrect and random. That's if you get any.

Some interesting facts about me that to read would be a perfect use of your time!

-I love make-up and flouncy dresses and I read Vogue, which makes me sound like a flower, but I also speak elfish and watch top gear, so hopefully you're not too annoyed yet.

-I love the sims! A chance to create duel realities! I'm a stock broker who lives in a castle with my alien husband Joe, who loves to play golf, and we have two flawless alien kids called Galadriel and Elrond :D

-I'm actually a Time Lady who has misplaced her pocket watch! If anyone finds it please tell me!

-I love Twilight! BAZINGA!

-I love Doctor Who, as you can probably tell if you have half a brain cell, but I hate Amy Pond, and if you do too, meesage me about how much you think she sucks, and we can rant together. I've previously been ranting with my friend who's good at maths, but I think she's getting sick of it because she kept trying to get of that topic and now she's not replying at all, so!

-I'm a nesquik chocolate milk addict -also a milky way magic stars addict -and a skittle addict, okay, I think you get the picture

-I watch Criminal Minds every night and I'm convinced all my neighbors are unsubs

-I'm a boss at 31! (the card game)

-I'm obsessed with The Big Bang Theory, Being Human (the u.k version, obvisously! The u.s version is completely awful!) and Merlin

-Sometimes late at night when I can't sleep I watch Keeping up the Kardashians... and ponder over how low humanity has fallen. - I have an ood butler named Humphrey.

-I've been learning Spanish for six years and I still can't speak it

Favorite Quotes:

'Rules are there to be broken!' -My dad

"Sorry, I was in the la-la land" -my brother after zoning out (not in a joking manner, he really said that)

"Why bother to have a real conversation when we can just listen to someone else's?" - my friend Naomi on eavesdropping

Quotes of which I live my life by:

breglalgwagmahalo!

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we may die!

Rules are there to be broken.

You must be tired after all that reading. Here's a story:

A teacher reads 'The three little pigs' to her kindergarten class on day.

"The first pig goes up to a man and says, "Can I use some straw to build my house, Sir?" She reads.

"Now, what does the man say to the pig?"

Jimmy put up his hand. "Yes Jimmy!"

"Well f* me, a talking pig!"

Okay, the end, moving on-

Follow me on tumblr! #smellslikegoat

And on polyvore! Come to think of it, I don't know anyone in real life who's on polyvore but for the hell of it: jemtara

My Armada, the ships that sink all ships:

Gendry and Arya, Theon and Jeyne and while we're on the Game of Thrones subject Dany and Jorah as well

Tom and Allison from Being Human

Ron and Hermione

Marius and Cosette

Snape and Lily

Katniss and Gale

Gwen and Merlin

Carol and Bones

Speaking of mofo characters, here's a list of my favorite:

Being Human: George and Nina :( It's been like two years and I still haven't got over 4.01. But Hal's great

Doctor Who: Wilfred Mott! I actually wish he could've been a full time companion. Better than Amy..

Merlin: Gaius, perpetually perturbed Gaius

Hunger Games: Haymitch, he's like the crazy version of Dumbledore really

Harry Potter: In the movies I love Seamus and his ability to blow everything up, but my favorite character has to be Ron

Orphan Black: Felix, I live for Felix

Star Trek: Bones is my spirit animal