Eluveitie's Slania
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Joined 05-07-10, id: 2354957, Profile Updated: 12-14-11
Author has written 5 stories for Harry Potter, Artemis Fowl, and Assassin's Creed.

Teen girl living in the grim barbaric north of England.

To sum me up...Under-appreciated genius, black belt in taekwondo, member of Regia Anglorum, massive metalhead (avatar: Arkona).

Prefers to read or write action/adventure/romance, in varying degrees; usually with a slightly dark tone.


Writing will be staggered and irregular. If I haven't been on the site for a while, I'm either a) dead, b) buried under a pile of coursework, or c) without internet. Sux.

Ships:

Harry Potter:
Harry/Hermione (...I'm sorry, but my doctors have told me it's terminal...)
Hermione/Viktor (I can't even explain why I love this one so much)
Hermione/Draco (but this ship needs a lot of work that only the top 10% or less of FF authors can achieve...sorry, folks)
Harry/Tonks (sounds ridiculous? It is.)
In fact, Tonks being alive, yeah, that'd be nice too... :'(

Lord of the Rings:
Eowyn/Faramir
I sometimes even find myself rooting Eowyn/Aragorn when I read the novel...NO! BAD SLANIA!

Other universes, I don't particularly care. But I do adore Amy/Eleven from Doctor Who.

OK, MY PET PEEVE OF THE MONTH (OR MAYBE YEAR)

Inheritance. Dafuq, Paolini?


Quotes:
Serious stuff first

"If somebody says to you: 'Things are this way. You can't change them,' don't believe a word."
-Cornelia Funke

"God is absence. God is the solitude of man."
-Jean-Paul Sartre

"There are no gods beyond those made of human flesh. There is no more divine potential than human potential..."
-Adam "Nergal" Darski (frontman of Behemoth)

Funniez:

"What did Stalin do in response to the Berlin Blockade?"
"HE WHIPPED HIS HAIR BACK AND FORTH!"
-My totally awesome history teacher and his special sixth form history class...

"Girls, how are you doing?"
Boy behind: "Oh My God, have you seen his nipples?!"
"...I need to find a new profession."
-My pretty awesome German teacher last thing on a Friday afternoon. Poor woman.

"My God, I'm terrified about this history exam. I hope I've got everything. Do you think I'll need a calculator?"
-Someone in my class was pretty stressed about the exam.

"I WANT HERMIONE GRANGER AND A ROCKETSHIP"
-I hope you all know this one.

"PLEASE, CAN YOU JUST MAKE THE DECK PERPENDICULAR?!"
"My God!" shocked silence. "Maria...it's your turn."
-Uno. In Berlin.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Unlike a Sister by MADharmony reviews
Nineteen years ago, Harry told Ron he saw Hermione as his sister. Now Hermione is in danger and Harry's feelings for her begin to change dramatically, jeopardizing everything he once knew. An Epilogue compliant fic. Rated M for sex and language.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 225,547 - Reviews: 1228 - Favs: 920 - Follows: 1,252 - Updated: 3/14 - Published: 12/21/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Evil, Shady Dealings by TheDeathlyMarshmallows reviews
"One must always wear red when engaging in vindictive or merely rebellious activities." - Set in Season 3 (and more recently the Season 3 - 4 gap), a look at all the conversations and attempted evil plots between Morgana and Morgause that we never got to see...
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 152,681 - Reviews: 373 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 3/2/2013 - Published: 2/6/2011 - Morgana, Morgause
For the First Time by yueie09 reviews
Harry has never belonged anywhere. He was a wizard and a muggle, a halfblood. He has always been unique and where everybody else says 'special', he replies, quietly in his own heart, 'alone'. HP/HG. DH.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 10 - Words: 33,166 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 198 - Follows: 193 - Updated: 1/7/2013 - Published: 12/30/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
More Than Friends? by JayeRaye reviews
6 years after the fall of Voldemort, the Golden Trio find themselves in for some major life changes.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 22,210 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 9/17/2012 - Published: 3/15/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Mist and Mystery at Calormen's Grove by Ibaraz reviews
Set after the events of Prince Caspian. The Pevensie siblings return to Narnia - without an explanation as to how or why! With Caspian's aid, Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy must figure out the reason behind their return before the mystery consumes them, while struggling with the effects of being back in Narnia once more. Caspian/Susan.
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 81,622 - Reviews: 151 - Favs: 195 - Follows: 176 - Updated: 8/5/2012 - Published: 7/10/2010 - Susan Pevensie, Caspian X - Complete
If You Only Knew by CynicalRomantic09 reviews
Harry's life is anything but normal. Six years after the defeat of Voldemort, he's living in New York with no intentions of going home. But sometimes, life can throw you unexpected curveballs. And Harry's life does just that. Harry/Hermione.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 102,128 - Reviews: 317 - Favs: 284 - Follows: 513 - Updated: 1/18/2012 - Published: 2/4/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Her Story: Philosopher's Stone by HPGunshot reviews
The note said that JKR strayed from the truth, leaving out the facts while putting in her own work of fiction. Two girls at a locally owned bookshop decide to see how much the series strayed as they read from the journals of one Hermione Granger. H/Hr
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 116,909 - Reviews: 302 - Favs: 301 - Follows: 234 - Updated: 12/12/2011 - Published: 1/30/2011 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Yes, She's a Girl by chem prof reviews
Another What If? story, set in Year 4. What if the lead up to the Yule Ball played out just a little bit differently? One thing leads to another, and Harry's life becomes much less stressful. H/Hr Note: This is a Horcrux and Hallows free story.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,968 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 940 - Follows: 200 - Published: 10/16/2011 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
That Old House by vanillaparchment reviews
An old house sits at the end of a lane. Abandoned and forgotten, no one would have guessed who was going to buy it... or how full a life that old house was yet to live. Harry/Hermione
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 41 - Words: 123,454 - Reviews: 595 - Favs: 759 - Follows: 424 - Updated: 7/26/2011 - Published: 12/8/2008 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
A Moment to Reflect by Romantic Silence reviews
As Hermione rushes to kiss Ron, she takes a moment to reflect back everything that has happened over the years. She now has to make a choice: Kiss Ron and commit herself to him or finally allow herself to be honest about her feelings for Harry Potter.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,929 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 227 - Follows: 161 - Updated: 5/10/2011 - Published: 5/4/2011 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages by GMontag reviews
Artemis and Holly have accidentally created a time paradox, changing the events of the last eight years. Now the two are thrown into a bleak world where Haven has fallen, and inter-species war has begun. Who can they trust? What can they save? A/H
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 45 - Words: 171,623 - Reviews: 1234 - Favs: 690 - Follows: 403 - Updated: 12/31/2010 - Published: 8/6/2008 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete
There's an Assassin in My Gameroom by Ace of Aces 2.0 reviews
Due to a very temperamental Xbox 360, Megan and Julia now have the famed Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad in Megan's gameroom. Things can't get any worse, right? Wrong. Altaïr angers the 360, during a Desmond cutscene of the game. Insanity ensues...
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 23 - Words: 22,557 - Reviews: 294 - Favs: 138 - Follows: 114 - Updated: 12/22/2010 - Published: 6/14/2009
Soul Thief by Walter Sobchak reviews
5 Years after defeating Voldemort, a simple error of judgment leads to catastrophe for Harry Potter. Hermione has to battle to reclaim her dearest friend and Harry must uncover the conspiracy that threatens them all in order to save a once bitter enemy.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 140,713 - Reviews: 234 - Favs: 418 - Follows: 154 - Updated: 12/10/2010 - Published: 11/15/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Dance by otp-is-relative reviews
SPOILER: Deathly Hallows 1 Movie. Don't read this until you've seen the movie even if you've read the book! It's my take on what's going on in the 2 characters' minds during a scene from the movie and not the book : and I've extended it. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,789 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/21/2010 - Hermione G., Harry P. - Complete
Chaos at the Landsmeet by Sarah1281 reviews
Alistair knew that the Landsmeet was supposed to be a very serious, very important affair. Unfortunately, the nobles decided to give Angélique Amell far more power than is good for her or Ferelden and so how could things not quickly devolve into chaos?
Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,084 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/24/2010 - Alistair, Amell - Complete
Artemis Goes To Sports Camp by Padfoot's Blondie reviews
When Artemis's parents force him to go to sports camp, Artemis is horrified. Juliet and Holly go with him to keep him company, but that doesn't mean they keep him from making a complete fool out of himself! AxH. Rated T cuz I feel like it COMPLETE
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 40,659 - Reviews: 309 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 10/8/2010 - Published: 7/22/2010 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete
When Harry Met Hermione by chem prof reviews
What if Harry met Hermione first, and became friends with her, before he met Ron? This story relates Harry's first meeting with Hermione, and continues with the times they meet each other at the beginning of every year. H/Hr
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 32,608 - Reviews: 838 - Favs: 1,634 - Follows: 727 - Updated: 9/3/2010 - Published: 7/31/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
A Lack of Talent by Thief of Black Winged Hearts reviews
Slightly crackish. What happens when Artemis gets caught singing in the shower? Blackmail, that's what!
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,665 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 8/27/2010 - Published: 8/22/2010 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete
The Return of the Kings and Queens by happy-end reviews
Susan and Peter return to Narnia when something dreadful happens on the Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Movieverse. Caspian/Susan. Peter/OC
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 39,435 - Reviews: 200 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 7/13/2010 - Published: 4/16/2009 - Caspian X, Susan Pevensie
101 Things You're Not Allowed to Do in Hogwarts by Imaginewhirledpeas reviews
A list of things may be funny, but they are not allowed.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 967 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/16/2010 - Complete
How We Got Here by musichangover reviews
Harry/Hermione. What if there was something more? He wanted the world, for once, to be on his side. Instead, it seemed like he was falling off it. Luckily, she was falling with him.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,764 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 6/5/2010 - Published: 5/30/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Nobody Said It Was Easy by Serpent of Slytherin reviews
Hermione's now 25 yrs. old and working as an Unspeakable in the Department of Mysteries. What will happen when she's assigned to uncover the mysteries behind the Veil? HG/SB
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 76,918 - Reviews: 153 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 178 - Updated: 5/3/2010 - Published: 2/16/2008 - Hermione G., Sirius B.
Springless Autumn, Frost of Winter by Haiza Tyri reviews
Éowyn and Faramir's sides of the story, in more complete detail. Holds to the book, with much actual text from the book, but expands upon it and incorporates a few details from the movies.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 63,387 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 7/6/2009 - Published: 7/5/2009 - Eowyn, Faramir - Complete
46 Hours of Twilight by The.Sexy.Fruitcup reviews
Hermione's insight on the one book that she wouldn't mind burning-- Twilight! Twilight Hate-fic! /Nicole's Fic./
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,580 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 8 - Published: 2/14/2009 - Hermione G., Harry P. - Complete
Of Quidditch Pants and Persuasion by It's Just Not Flowing reviews
Full title: The One Where The Entire Gryffindor Common Room Lusts After Harry Wearing Quidditch Pants and Hermione is Persuasive. That's rather self-explanatory, I think. Really, it's just best to move on. Equally pointless second chapter now added.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,135 - Reviews: 267 - Favs: 977 - Follows: 149 - Updated: 9/22/2008 - Published: 2/11/2008 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Perfection by It's Just Not Flowing reviews
A short parody on Ginny's character I wrote some time ago after reading HBP. Not to be taken too seriously. Contains HHr.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,601 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 14 - Published: 12/12/2007 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
The List by HermioneCrookshanks919 reviews
The List named everyone who thought they were a couple. In other words, all of Hogwarts. Now Harry and Hermione have to prove that they're just friends. The only problem is, even they're starting to wonder if their names belong on The List…
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 54,974 - Reviews: 671 - Favs: 1,094 - Follows: 394 - Updated: 9/29/2007 - Published: 11/21/2006 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] Ginny W. - Complete
I'm Not Neurotic! The Diary of Hermione Granger by HermioneCrookshanks919 reviews
AU. Now a Seventh Year and Head Girl, Hermione relays her life in her diary: from Harry sneaking into her bathroom to Ginny setting Hermione up in hopes of making her less neurotic, Hermione's life is about to get out of control. COMPLETED
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 54,557 - Reviews: 419 - Favs: 310 - Follows: 134 - Updated: 7/5/2006 - Published: 12/18/2005 - [Hermione G., Harry P.] Ginny W. - Complete
An Assault on the Senses by akscully reviews
Ron was sick and tired of them dancing around. He was going to end it by any means necessary. Poor Harry and Hermione.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 16,212 - Reviews: 283 - Favs: 541 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 4/13/2003 - Published: 3/5/2003 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

That Stormy Night reviews
Set during Deathly Hallows. Ron's left the Trio, and our heroes are feeling vulnerable. Dramatic surroundings lead to a heart-to-heart between Harry and Hermione, and a realisation of what's been staring them in the face.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,940 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 6 - Published: 12/14/2011 - Harry P., Hermione G.
A WOMAN! reviews
An exploration into typical gender roles of 12th century Syria...I can't believe I typed that with a straight face.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,219 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/12/2011 - Altaïr, Maria T.
The Day You Died reviews
Songfic to The Day You Died by Arch Enemy, don't need to know the song or band. How does Hermione feel when Harry is believed to be dead in Deathly Hallows? This is my attempt to find out...usually not my kind of thing, but whatever. Please have a look!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,176 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/8/2010 - Hermione G., Harry P. - Complete
Nothing Is Ever Simple reviews
Three years after TAC, Holly's moved on from her adventures with Mud Men. Well, almost... until her first easy assignment as a Major reunites her with Arty; then things get a lot more complicated. T for minor language and some themes.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,771 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 8/2/2010 - Published: 7/29/2010 - Holly S., Artemis F. - Complete
Got It All Wrong reviews
A fluffy little one-shot that occurred to me when I should have been doing my German homework... what if it wasn't jealousy that split Harry, Ron and Hermione up in sixth year? What if Harry had got it all wrong? First attempt at ff, please R&R!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,106 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 8 - Published: 5/17/2010 - Hermione G., Harry P. - Complete