Author has written 10 stories for Teen Titans, Danny Phantom, and Adventure Time with Finn and Jake.
If you read this, wow! im impressed!
RANDOM GEEKOUT MOMENT!!!!
this gets pushed to the top of my profile because its SO AWESOMELY IMPORTANT!!!!
so, apparently, Teen Titans is going to be making new episodes again. i know this because i saw Greg Cipes (the voice of Beast Boy) say it at some convention back in 2009. he said that after work on Ben 10 Ultimate Alien is complete there's going to be a live action Teen Titans movie, then the TV show will begin again. IMDB has the movie pegged for release in 2013, but that's not a final date (i don't think).
TEEN TITANS WILL LIVE AGAIN! Rejoice, then wait, because 2013 is still a ways away.
but we can handle it...
(btw, go to Linzerj's profile to find a link for the review with Greg Cipes. it was there that i first heard about this).
EDIT AS OF 6/17/11! COMPLETE OVERHAUL!!
Name: CLASSIFIED, YOU FOOL
Awesomeness: on a scale of 1 to 10? 12.
TV Shows: Teen Titans, Avatar the Last Airbender, Sym-Bionic Titan, Young Justice, Regular Show, Adventure Time, MAD, Danny Phantom, Whose Line is it Anyway?, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, The Mentalist, Mythbusters, AFV, Family Guy, American Dad
Movies: Harry Potter (all), Pirates of the Caribbean (all), Men in Black (all), X Men (all), Star Wars (all), Mulan, anything Pixar, Stand By Me, The Emperor's New Groove, anything Miyazaki, The Matrix, Remember the Titans, Transformers (all)
Actors/Voice Artists: Harrison Ford, Will Smith, Nicholas Cage, Robert Downey Jr, Johnny Depp, Shia LeBouf, Patrick Stewart, Alan Rickman, Tara Strong, Mark Hamill, Ron Pearlman, Grey DeLisle
Bands/Musical Artists: Breaking Benjamin, Green Day, Evanescence, Linkin Park, Paramore, Michael Sweeney, Hans Zimmer, Jerry Goldsmith, Robert W Smith, Joe Hisaishi
RANDOM STUFF I'VE GOTTEN FROM OTHER PEOPLE'S PROFILES!!! (if you dont care about this stuff, scroll down to the very bottom for my stories. Or, y'kno, you could click on the "Hide Bio" button. That's what it's there for...
THE MORSE CODE:
ELECTION - RESULTS:
A DECIMAL POINT:
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
Bet your friends haven't seen this one!!
ACTUAL PRODUCT LABELS THAT SCARE ME:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Things to do while in Wal-mart
1. Throw skittles at people and say, "Taste the freakin' rainbow!"
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
4. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look."
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
15.Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"
16. When you see stuff in those cage-things, Yell "NOOO!! YOU'VE KILLED IT!"
17. Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price.
18. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs.
19. Touch an electrical cord and pretend that you are getting shocked.
20. Hide in the giant snowman blowup and when people walk by say, " I am the abominable snowman! Fear me! I will eat you!"
21. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!"
22. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
23. Run up to an employee and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that guy/girl over there" point to a random person "was just about to ask you to dinner."
24. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section.
25. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you away...to aisle eight..."
26. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back.
27. Turn the pharmacy counter into a Charlie the Unicorn convention.
O lny srmat poelpe can raed this.
cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The
it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs psas it on !!
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint
What makes 100 percent? What does it mean to give MORE than 100 percent? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100 percent? We all have been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over one hundred percent. How about acheiving 103 percent? What makes up 100 percent in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions;
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11= 98 percent
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5= 96 percent
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 =100 percent
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20= 103 percent
and look how far this one will take you,
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7= 118 percent!
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while HARDWORK and KNOWLEDGE will get you close, and ATTITUDE will get you there, its really the BULLSHIT and ASSKISSING that will put you over the top. (and this iz the truth)
ONLY IN AMERICA:
1. Only in America ...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America ...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America ...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America ...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America ...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America ...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America ...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America ...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't.
this is this cat
this is is cat
this is how cat
this is to cat
this is keep cat
this is a cat
this is retard cat
this is busy cat
this is for cat
this is forty cat
this is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on.
A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year.
She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, she asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.
When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it.
However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her.
She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.
Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.
When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.
Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to cry.
Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.
She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.
The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him.
She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.
When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.
The officer thanked her for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her.
She asked if they would ask the man one question.
She was curious as to why he had not attacked her.
When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."
You're never alone...
93 Percent Of the people who read this won't repost it.
Don't be one of those people.
Believe in God and he'll always be there to protect you.
A black man walked into a restaurant and sat down. A white waiter approached him. The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen, sir...When I was born I was BLACK, when I grew up I was BLACK, when I'm sick I'm BLACK, when I go into the sun I'm BLACK, when I'm cold I'm BLACK, when I die I'll beBLACK. But you, sir, when you're born you're PINK, when you grow up you're WHITE, when you're sick, you're GREEN, when you go in the sun you turn RED, when you're cold you turn BLUE, and when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored? Post this on your profile if you hate racism.
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental
Please select from the following options:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn
Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!
That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."
When in doubt, push random buttons!
You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft! (burns me, but i like it anyway)
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.
There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.
They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...
Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking
You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it
An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.
I'm not as dumb as you look
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.
I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.
They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?
Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.
Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to
Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.
It's always darkest before dawn...so if you're gonna steal the neighbors newspaper, that's the time to do it.
It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown...and fewer still to ignore someone completely.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked up into jet engines.
I believe no problem is so large or so difficult that it can't be blamed on someone else.
It takes a big man to cry...but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
Doors are on a house so you don't have to go through the windows.
No one ever says "it's only a game" if their team is winning.
I never repeat myself, so pay close attention to me the first time, cause I never repeat myself.
Canaries are the best, especially with ketchup on them.
Slow and steady gets you trampled by the other guys.
When opportunity knocks, shoot first and ask questions later.
When all else fails, use duct tape.
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow, isn't looking good either.
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If she isn't there the first time you need her, chances are you won't be needing her again
My Reality Check bounced.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing
"If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?"
"Even a stopped clock is right twice a day."
"Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there's footprints on the moon."
"There are 1000 ways I could kill you, and 941 of them hurt."
I'll try to be nicer if you'll try to be smarter.
I'm not good at empathy, will you settle for sarcasm?
Earth is full. Go home.
I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.
I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid.
It's true, blonds do have more fun. But brunets remember it in the morning.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
"Flying is easy. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."
"I didn't lie! I just created fiction with my mouth! "
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
"Never memorize something that you can look up."
Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it.
"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it."
A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.
I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing." - Unknown
"He who laughs last didn't get it." - Unknown
"When there's a will, I want to be in it." - Unknown
Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.
Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.
You think you're all that and a bag of chips. Well I'm all that and a bag of skittles. So taste my rainbow
Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?
Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.
"Love your enemies! It really ticks them off"
It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn"
YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle):
YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal):
Black Hawk (oooh, dramatic)
YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name):
Donald Moonpenny (WHAT?)
YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name):
YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (fav color, fav drink):
Black Mountain Dew (eew...)
YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name):
YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name):
Anne (but i'm a dude!)
YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets):
Black Rainbow (that's sorta cool)
YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (fav fruit, and something that can go wrong):
YOUR PIRATE NAME: (fav color, pirate accessory):
Black Pistol (nice :D)
My mother taught me that two wrongs don't make a right.
(aw, i love my mom, but i just thought this was funny)
People tell me I'm immature. Well guess what? Immature spells IM MATURE
"I called your boyfriend gay and he slapped me with his purse."
"The Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"The trouble with real life is that there's no background music."
"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts."
"I have not lost my mind; it's backed up on a disk somewhere."
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much room."
" If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?"
"If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost."
"OK, I'm wierd! But I'm saving up to become eccentric."
"Beware of the letter "G." It is the end of everything."
"I do visit reality, although it's on a tourist visa."
"Flying is not inherently dangerous; crashing is."
"Don't play dumb with me, I'll always win."
"Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark."
"I'm not awesome, you just suck."
"People say violence isn't the answer. Well, they're right. Violence is the question. The answer is 'HELL YES'."
"I never said I was normal... you just presumed I was."
"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."
Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars, and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"
It takes 42 muscles to frown, but just 28 to smile. Though it only takes 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone in the mouth.
Don't knock on Death's door; ring the bell and run- he hates that
I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.
The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.
The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."
His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes. Very quietly, I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''
"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''
"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
"My mommy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:
1) Repost this message.
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart
Fun Things To Do In An ELEVATOR!
1) When a person in the elevator repeatedly pushes a button (such as "close" or "open") say, "Congratulations, you figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker"
2) When the elevator doors shut, reassuringly say, "It's ok, they will open up again!"
3)Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4) Whistle the first seven notes of "Its a Small World" incessantly.
5) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
6) Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down.
7) Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
8) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
9) Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
10) Stare, grinning, at another passenger for awhile, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
11) Meow occasionally.
12) Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
13) Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
14) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
15) Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
16) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
17) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"
18) Say "Ding!" at each floor.
19) Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
20) Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
21) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
22) Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
23) Put a box on the floor and whenever somebody comes in, say "Do you hear clicking?"
MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS:
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.
7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. (I have proven this)
13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of Jury duty.