Zevus
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Joined 05-13-10, id: 2362652, Profile Updated: 07-22-11
Author has written 14 stories for House, M.D., Leverage, Firefly, CSI, and Harry Potter.

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Memos by tartan-angel reviews
A series of random memos sent between our two favourite Professors... who said Flitwick? *evil glare*
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 147 - Words: 41,345 - Reviews: 1255 - Favs: 231 - Follows: 200 - Updated: 10/5/2013 - Published: 10/28/2009 - Albus D., Minerva M.
Lemon Drop Anyone? by coolgems1630 reviews
All Dumbledore wants to do is share his love for Lemon Drops. But they always say no.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 368 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Published: 6/25/2011 - Albus D. - Complete
Of Phoenixes, Stars, and Lemon Drops by cinnamonears reviews
Written for an LJ prompt challenge given exclusively to me, consisting of "Dumbledore goes shopping for swim trunks."
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 387 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/13/2011 - Albus D. - Complete
anyone with eyes by hypotheticalfanfic reviews
Anyone with eyes can see how he tunes himself to Sirius, how he pointedly doesn't do any of the myriad things he could do to force Sirius to treat him better, how he lets Sirius take and take and take and never demands anything in return. RemusxSirius.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 397 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/3/2011 - Remus L., Sirius B.
Eliot needs better locks by Daria234 reviews
Parker walks in on Eliot pleasuring himself but doesn't realize. She decides to stay and chat. Eliot isn't happy. Hints at Parker/Hardison and Parker/Hardison/Eliot. Adult material, wank, references to slash,het,threesome. Don't like, don't read.
Leverage - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,090 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 14 - Published: 5/8/2011 - Eliot S., Parker - Complete
Infinity by braidonfire reviews
What I think should have happened at the end of Serenity. My first Firefly fanfic. Read/Review?
Firefly - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,282 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/17/2011 - Mal, Inara - Complete
The Shopping List by HeyMily reviews
Written for a challenge. The prompt was "text messages". Unbeta'd sorry
Leverage - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 335 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 6 - Published: 1/17/2011 - Complete
Of Sunbeams and Daydreams by TimeFlow reviews
Kindergarten used to be fun but Alec's been thinking a lot lately, and there's only one person who can help him... Alec/Eliot cuteness. I have no idea why this story came about...it just did. Ye be warned.
Leverage - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 539 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/17/2010 - Alec H., Eliot S.
Night Rounds by epistes reviews
When night descends on Hogwarts, the cats come out to play. Kitteh!Fic
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,091 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Published: 11/9/2010 - Mrs. Norris, Minerva M. - Complete
My Fail: Ishtar by Miral reviews
The most unfunny Kill Bill ever. It's derivative, hackneyed, uninspired. Anything I base off True Blood seems to die a tortured death. Don't review it unless you have theories on why it's so bad. I'd advise you to not even read it. Alt Ending TBS3
True Blood - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,216 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/20/2010 - Bill C., Eric N. - Complete
You Just Gotta Like Each Other by Specificitydarling reviews
If Elliot wouldn't tell her, then she'd have to ask someone else. Post 3x03; Parker and Hardison
Leverage - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 774 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/16/2010 - Alec H., Parker - Complete
Every episode of House in 60 seconds by Simslover909 reviews
Every episode of House can pretty much be summed up in one minute. This is that summary in script form. Intro inside. Please R&R!
House, M.D. - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 599 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/17/2010 - Complete
L'Art Est Long Et Le Temps Est Court by wallflower1 reviews
Mal's luck runs out. SERIOUSLY DARK AU.
Firefly - Rated: M - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 589 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Published: 7/30/2010 - Mal, Simon - Complete
An Exercise in Exasperation by Lear's Daughter reviews
The Leverage crew goes to the movies. This is more difficult than it sounds. TWP: team!fic without plot.
Leverage - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,026 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 18 - Published: 6/24/2010 - Eliot S., Nathan F. - Complete
guys' night by themonkeytwin reviews
Total crack!fic, inspired by finally seeing the new Wolverine movie. No promises about coherence. Spoilery movie discussions and stuff. Details inside.
Leverage - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,259 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/21/2010 - Alec H., Eliot S. - Complete
The Matchmaker Job by Lear's Daughter reviews
One job that never made it past the planning stage. In which Parker is the mastermind, Hardison has his doubts, Eliot doesn't get to hit anyone, and Nate wishes he didn't get up in the morning. Set sometime early in season 2.
Leverage - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,481 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 11 - Published: 2/26/2010 - Parker, Nathan F. - Complete
The Intervention Job by Sapphire Smoke reviews
Sophie's been in the habit of holding interventions ever since the one with Nate, and this time Hardison is her next victim. •Hardison/Parker/Eliot•
Leverage - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 73,189 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 180 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 1/15/2010 - Published: 9/28/2009 - Eliot S., Parker, Alec H. - Complete
Sexual Suicide by Sapphire Smoke reviews
She always knew he'd be the one to save her... but she never thought she'd be the one to destroy him. •Parker/Hardison•
Leverage - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 22,840 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 12/30/2009 - Published: 12/25/2009 - Alec H., Parker - Complete
Willy Wonka Hates Your Mom by bendybaps reviews
Yea, true story. Your Mom is hated by Willy Wonka. Go into that corner now and sob but that still wont change Willy's mind, nothing can....
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 986 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 10 - Published: 11/1/2009 - Complete
There's just something about him I don't like by Daria234 reviews
Crossover with Leverage. AU with Leverage team, why Mal and Nate don't trust each other, and what their respective crew and team have to say about the issue. Humor fic.
Firefly - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 637 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/3/2009 - Mal, Inara - Complete
The Delightful Diary of Professor Snape by Daria234 reviews
AU where Snape had a happy childhood and loves his life! How does he feel about Harry? How does he feel about work? Does he date? What does he wear? Humor ficlet. Warnings for heterosexuality. And CRACK!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 493 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/19/2009 - Severus S. - Complete
True Crack by elphabathedelirious32 reviews
A parody coauthored by Adah Price. Sookie discovers fanfiction. Eric discovers live porn. Bill gets in touch with his anger. Jason gets in touch with...a maenad? And if vampires got migraines, Pam would have the worst one in history...
True Blood - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,208 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/18/2009 - Complete
Let Down by Leaky Underwear reviews
Don't let the poison seep through my veins.
House, M.D. - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 125 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/1/2007 - G. House, A. Cameron - Complete
Teachers Pass Notes Too by TheGossipQueen reviews
The title says it all. Teachers pass notes too. Read the ones that the Hogwarts teachers pass between each other. Pure humor. COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 5,483 - Reviews: 509 - Favs: 155 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 12/5/2004 - Published: 9/10/2004 - Hermione G., Ron W. - Complete
Truth or Dare by Lunalelle reviews
Hermione is magically Dared to seduce Professor Snape.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 35,733 - Reviews: 397 - Favs: 478 - Follows: 189 - Updated: 3/16/2004 - Published: 2/3/2004 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Not Even Close reviews
The Leverage Crew is stuck in Hogwarts. They all have to be sorted, learn magic, and most importantly, find a way home. In the meantime spells are learned, friends made, and secrets revealed. To change the future, one person will have to reveal the past.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Leverage - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,101 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 7/22/2011 - Published: 4/25/2011
Only A Crush reviews
Hermione has a crush on someone, but she won't tell Ron and Harry who it is. Set in 2nd year, a cute little crush fic written out of boredom.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 683 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/25/2011 - Severus S., Hermione G.
Three Birds, One Stone reviews
Mal has a headache, caused by Saffron. He wants Inara, but Simon keeps getting in the way. He can solve all his problems with the help of one person, but are they trustworthy? And most importantly, is it worth it?
Firefly - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,185 - Reviews: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/25/2011 - Saffron
Bit Too Scary reviews
Lucas decides to end it all and kills himself in Cuddy's bathtub. Warning: Happy ending.
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 814 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4/3/2011 - Lucas D. - Complete
Hades
Lucas is excited for his first day of 7th grade. Sequel to "Hell." Crackfic.
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,912 - Updated: 4/3/2011 - Published: 3/27/2011 - Lucas D.
Hell reviews
Lucas is excited for his first day of 6th grade. Crackfic. Complete.
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,205 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/2/2011 - Published: 8/14/2010 - Lucas D. - Complete
Unplanned Revenge reviews
When Hardison and Eliot find Lucas in a New Jersey suburb, he is heartbroken because of Cuddy. After many man tears and self pity, Lucas decides to seek revenge on Cuddy and House. And there's no way the Leverage crew won't get involved.
Crossover - House, M.D. & Leverage - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,107 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/6/2011 - Published: 11/21/2010 - Complete
Stranger Danger reviews
The Leverage crew finds a time machine, but where does it go? When they get trapped in another world; a world of spaceships, cowboys, and respected whores, they get more than they bargained for. And the only question is: How will they get home?
Crossover - Firefly & Leverage - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,755 - Reviews: 5 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 1/17/2011 - Published: 11/28/2010
Paradise
The Leverage crew decides to take a trip to Las Vegas, but the vacation doesn't exactly work out as planned.
Crossover - CSI & Leverage - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,533 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/18/2010
The Halloween Job reviews
The Leverage team goes trick or treating, but things get a little off course. First they need to get costumes, get in the costumes, and ask Sterling to hand out candy. And it's pretty much impossible for them to get any of that done.
Leverage - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,723 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 11/20/2010 - Published: 10/22/2010
Three Wishes reviews
Parker is granted three wishes by a genie and, much to the team's dismay, wishes that everybody would switch bodies.
Leverage - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,936 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/21/2010 - Complete
Bad Idea reviews
Wilson drags everybody to a bar in Boston because he wants to win three dollars for catching a group of con artists.
Crossover - House, M.D. & Leverage - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,290 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/5/2010 - Complete
Scott reviews
When Nate's whiskey bottle gets sick the Leverage team doesn't know what to do.
Crossover - House, M.D. & Leverage - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,041 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/15/2010 - Complete
Revenge & Happiness reviews
Lucas decides to kill both House and Cuddy in their sleep. Oneshot.
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 646 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/28/2010 - Lucas D. - Complete
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