Hi. My name's Rumpleteasza. I like taking stories, tearing them up neatly, folding them into origami birds and chucking them out the window. This is called "fanfiction".

The basics: I am an English girl with a BA in Philosophy and Classical Civilisation from Nottingham University (no, I do not know Robin Hood). I am at the postgraduate stage of training to become a psychotherapist, and can therefore see through your devious social constructions to the tortured woobie soul that undoubtedly lies beneath. I have a rather spiffing mother and father and a laughably tall brother who all my friends think is pretty. I also have a heartbreakingly wonderful soulmate who doesn't seem to mind the fact that I insist on cramming our bookshelves with "vintage, honest to god, they're so chic" RPG game boxes.

I like things of delicious geekery such as fantasy and scifi, shiny objects, my best friends, the word 'sprau?', putting things in ironic 'scarequotes', inappropriate pluralisation, Matthew McFadyen, and surprise gifts of marmite. Due to early teen influences such as Stewart Lee and Chris Morris, I am a cheap knockoff of many better personalities. My writing is influenced most heavily by Philip Pullman (mainly his Victorian Mystery novels) and Mervyn Peake (Gormenghast) Obviously I can never hope to reach the heartbreaking genius of these great people, but please feel free to lie outright on that front.

I've had this penname since I first logged onto the internet when I was twelve. It's probably not something I'd choose today, since let's face it, Andrew Lloyd Webber needs a serious kick up the jacksy, but this is how everyone knows me and so this is how it shall stay. I tend to go by just Rumple these days, and I'm mostly at home on the Elder Scrolls official forums and the Nexus modding websites. I also have a Steam account under the same name, so feel free to add me should you so desire.

Things What I Also Like: Danwise. Stealing the foam off other people's pints. The word "winky" when said by Richard Herring. Mushrooms cooked in lots of butter. Danwise. Escher drawings. People who admit that they don't know what postmodernism means. Danwise. Koushiro Izumi. Taffers. Danwise. Mogget. Silver birch trees. And Danwise.

NEW, SHINY FUN WITH QUOTES:

"That's why my hair's so big; it's full of secrets."

-Mean Girls

Deep down... I know I'm a Gretchen.