Englandsgirl1818
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Joined 05-28-10, id: 2381023, Profile Updated: 12-15-13
Author has written 3 stories for Harry Potter, Supernatural, and Hetalia - Axis Powers.

FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS!! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? WTF!? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England) Anime895(USA), Starwatcher-shadow (Belgium), mewmewgodess (Canada), KiaraWangWilliams (Canada), Bluejay Blaze (Canada), Englandsgirl1818

A Hetalian's Pledge

I pledge to think of Italy whenever I'm helpless... or someone mentions pasta.
I pledge to think of Germany whenever I try too hard... or I silence a room.
I pledge to think of Japan whenever I feel out of place... or I take too many pictures.
I pledge to think of America whenever I need a hero... or a sandwich.
I pledge to think of Britain whenever I'm not taken seriously... or someone fails at cooking.
I pledge to think of France whenever I feel misunderstood... or mischievous.
I pledge to think of Russia whenever I'm missing summer... or my faucet.
I pledge to think of China whenever I'm unfairly treated... or I'm mistaken for the other gender.
I pledge to think of Spain whenever I feel unappreciated... or I'm too oblivious to notice I am.
I pledge to think of Austria whenever I give up too easily... or I manipulate others into doing my chores.
I pledge to think of Hungary whenever I fight others' battles... or I support another yaoi pairing.
I pledge to think of Liechtenstein whenever I barely survive... or someone misspells my name.
I pledge to think of Poland whenever I'm shy... or I (like totally) win using my own rules.
I pledge to think of Switzerland whenever I get paranoid... or I rock frilly pink pajamas.
I pledge to think of Belarus whenever I have an unrequited crush... or take crushing too far.
I pledge to think of Estonia whenever I feel powerless... or I have computer problems.
I pledge to think of Latvia whenever I talk without thinking... or I feel way too short.
I pledge to think of Lithuania whenever I am persecuted... or I lose a game of chess.
I pledge to think of Romania whenever I get judged by my appearance... or I try to use magic.
I pledge to think of Ukraine whenever I feel way too sorry... or a bit too mature.
I pledge to think of Denmark whenever I'm criticized... or I have a little too much fun.
I pledge to think of Finland whenever I feel too different.. or I'm celebrating the holidays.
I pledge to think of Iceland whenever I'm bullied into saying something... or I procrastinate with candy.
I pledge to think of Norway whenever I'm not listened to... or I'm surrounded by idiots.
I pledge to think of Sweden whenever I'm misinterpreted... or I use a Swedish Death Glare.
I pledge to think of Greece whenever I have different priorities... or I see a cat.
I pledge to think of Romano whenever I feel unloved... or I swear my a* off.
I pledge to think of Turkey whenever I'm overprotective... or I wear a mask.
I pledge to think of South Korea whenever I express myself oddly... or I see anything made in Korea (da-ze!).
I pledge to think of Seychelles whenever I'm hated for something I didn't do... or I find a swordfish.
I pledge to think of Canada whenever I feel invisible... or there's maple syrup involved.
I pledge to think of Sealand whenever I am overambitious... or sell stuff on Ebay.
I pledge to think of HRE whenever I leave someone behind... or realize my name or title is completely wrong.
I pledge to think of Prussia whenever I can't admit my fears... or I redefine "AWESOME."

Everyone has a little bit of each nation in them, including me. Therefore, I pledge these things as a true Hetalian.
Copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to show your Hetalian spirit!

Luna Safire, Crazy Awesome Neko, Katie-Kat1129, Raven G. Black, KiaraWangWilliams, Bluejay Blaze Englandsgirl1818

Age: Between 1 and 100

Gender: Female.

If yaoi were vodka and I was a duck

I'd dive to the bottom and drink my way up

But yaoi's not vodka and I'm not a duck

So give me some yaio and shut the fuck up!

You Are Obsessed with HetaOni if you:

1.Have seen the series from part 1 to 17 1/2 at least 3 times and remember what happened in each part

2.Get really pissed off at the name "Steve" no matter who or what it is

3.Know you hate Steve more than Justin Bieber (apology to all Justin Bieber fans)

5.Hear "Detective" and you think not "Conan", but "Canan" (CanadaConan) since Canada is that awesome of a detective in that series

6.Hate yourself for not being able to help the characters out

7.Desperately want to break the screen

8.Think it's normal to want to go get a racket or a baseball bat or something destructive while watching HetaOni

9.Find out that the toilet suddenly seems like a really great place to you

10.See a giant mansion, and you start screaming

11.Want to give England a big hug and his vision back by giving away your own eyes

12.See America without glasses and think "THAT SHIT STEVE, GIVE TEXAS BACK!"

13.Are pissed off that the Nordics get mentioned, but they never come out

14.Actually think Belarus is kinda cute (…..WAIT WHAT?)

15.Know that it's Austria that's playing the background music and you want to cuss at him for making it sound creepy and intense

16.Want to hunt down Steve really bad

17.See random red stains on the ground and immediately start screaming

18.Think making fun of countries dying (such as Prussia) is NOT COOL AT ALL

19.Know that Russia's water faucet is not actually a faucet, but it's a secret sword that Japan made for him and you want to cheer for that

20.Want to find that mansion three hours away from the World Meeting Building and throw a bomb at it or something, rescue everyone, and then burn it to the ground with Tony in it

21.Think Italy isn't a useless wimp anymore, but a cool super-strong hero ("Hey what about me?" asked America)

22.Think watching Hetalia after HetaOni is absolutely insane

23.Don't feel bad for America, Germany and England (and possibly Prussia) for their horribly drawn faces at the start of the series

24.Feel that Japan is an awesome country that will totally kick Steve's ass

25.See USUK or Island Countries (JapanEngland) in the series and don't think it's wrong at all

26.Think it's normal to see Germany shaking in fear AKA Silent-mode Germany

27.Pray that Prussia won't die and he'll get out of that bitch of a mansion

28.Search pictures of aliens that looks like Steve on the internet, print it out, paint red all over it and rip it into tiny shreds and throw it in the fire pit

29.See Steve get his ass beat in the series and scream "HA TAKE THAT YOU FUCKING RETARD!" in front of your parents

30.Think it's totally fine to have your parents find you crying in front of the computer

31.Like, totally respect Poland and like, print out a picture of Steve and totally paint it pink XD

32.Know that Italy's now gonna have to reverse time anyway since Steve just ate Latvia (SHIT!)

33.Feel that France isn't just a pervert anymore but a great big brother to everyone(WAIT WHAT?!)

34.Actually feel brotherly love between the Italy brothers

35.Feel that Boss Spain isn't just a Pedo (apology to all Spain fans) anymore and is a cool Boss that will totally save Romano and himself out of that time-loop

36.Know that Spain and Romano is crazy lost in that time-loop and think "Geez, not even Austria can't get THAT lost"

37.Actually think Ukraine really is a great big sister

38.Think Korea is totally kick-butt and awesome

39.Shocked that Switzerland is actually HELPING other countries

40.See Steve hated by all HetaOni fans and think "HA STEVE YOU ARE LOVED BY NOBODY HOW DOES THAT FEEL HUH!"

41.Started screaming at the part where they get to the place with a bunch of Steve's in a cage no matter how many times you watched it

42.Start hitting yourself in the head because you're a worthless bitch that can't do anything but watch

43.Scream "NO DON'T GO IN THAT MANSION DAMN IT DON'T GO IN THAT MANSION!" every time you see someone go in the mansion

44.Can't walk around the house at night anymore unless you have a weapon beside your bed

45.Hate the mansion for existing as much as you hate Steve

46.Get a water bottle, draw a Steve face on it and squish it and stamp on it and stab it with a mail opener screaming "DIE STEVE DIE!" completely ignoring other people staring at you (I actually do this at school with by other HetaOni lover friends)

47.Ask your mom if you can borrow a paper cutter for a few minutes

48.Made a voodoo doll of Steve and used staplers on it since staplers looks like it hurts a LOT more than pins

49.Want to rip up any picture that has something that looks like Steve on it

50.Want to live in "Castle Germany" (the secret room that Germany built)

51.Cried more watching HetaOni than the "America's Storage Cleaning" episode

52.Find it really hard to think that America actually won independence from England since they barely have any fights in the series

53.Want to start a "I HATE STEVE" club at your school

54.Stated doodling pictures of Tony and characters in your notebook and/or sketchbook

55.Started practicing drawing blood

56.See a clock and have a desperate urge of wanting to break it

57.Are proud that you have searched up every HetaOni MAD that you can find and you can hum the songs

58.Want HetaOni to be Anime-fied or Movie-fied desperately and willing to put every allowance you have to the making of it

59.Think HetaOni will make an awesome Anime or Movie and think everyone (except for cold-hearted Hetalia haters who don't even deserve to watch) will cry

60.Will think HetaOni Movie will certainly make blockbusters

61.Suddenly changed your mind about whatever future dream you had and decided to become a Movie or Anime producer in order to create the HetaOni Movie or Anime

62.Define Steve as "Rotten-Scone-Colored Naked 'Fucking' Giant" ("Hey!" said England)

63.Have your life motto is "MAKE PASTA NOT WAR!" and "DIE STEVE DIE!"

64.Watch HetaOni repetitively and know what's gonna happen but cry anyway

65.You want to destroy the mansion even before the characters even get there in the first time-loop

66.Can name heroic deeds of every character in HetaOni (I personally can, except China since he didn't exactly do anything yet….)

67.Think Hetalia characters are even more hot than before

Hear "Holy Roman Empire" and think not a tiny and huggable kid with Chibitalia, but a super-hot dude in a flower garden with grown-up Italy

Hear "Rice Balls", "Beer" or "Chili Pepper" and think "IS DA BOMB"

Hear "Toilet" and think "Is an awesome place where you can buy food"

Want to make your friend watch HetaOni purposely, because you cried while watching it and you want them to cry too

Hide an iPhone or an iTouch or an iPad under your pillow so you can watch HetaOni during night time when your parents think you're asleep (but bad idea...)

Ripped off your earphones while watching HetaOni since you weren't able to stand the background music anymore

You can hum some of the background music

Weren't able to sleep after getting in bed for at least three days after having a HetaOni marathon

Pray to God every night that they'll make it out alive

Actually feel bad for Korea for being stuck with Austria and Switzerland

Imagine yourself beating up Steve

Wish that Hungary will totally beat Steve butt with her frying pan

Hope Liechtenstein won't get killed by Steve REALLY, REALLY BADLY

Are willing to give your own life away in order to save theirs

Think you have never hated your computer screen for existing this much

Want to sleep next to one (or two) of the characters after seeing the part where they all sleep on the floor next to each other

Screamed "GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY SCREEN I'M GONNA GO IN AND KILL THE BITCH OUT OF STEVE!" while crying hysterically in front of your parents

Tell your history/geography teacher that he/she has to tell you where you can find a giant mansion that's three hours away from a World Meeting Building NOW

Feel great pain when seeing America's friend Tony in the Anime and apologies a little

Know you're totally screwed when your parents find you coloring everything red in your sketchbook because they'll think you've gone emo

Had a great urge of wanting to grab your iPhone/iTouch/iPad/computer and smash it against a wall

See a mansion and want to ask the policeman/woman around you "Can I go burn it down?" and if he/she replied no, start screaming and crying "BUT I HAVE TO SAVE EVERYONE! AT LEAST LET ME GET IN THERE AND KILL STEVE!" ignoring how embarrassed your parents/friends look

Are ready to go in that mansion, kill Steve, save everyone and die

Feel you're gonna go on a rampage if the person who created it left it unfinished like RomaHeta (I hate how they didn't finish it…..)

Wanted to raid the creator's home to threaten him to make part 17 2/2 NOW

Love HetaOni more than RomaHeta, HetaQuest, and any other Hetalia based RPG game you have ever seen

Go to or and continuously look for HetaOni fanpics

Found out that your history/geography grade is getting higher because you love Hetalia, but also you saw HetaOni and you thought "The least I could do for them is do history/geography like I mean it…."

Wanted to take Steve's vital regions and screw it up (okay, M rated…)

Scream whenever the characters die in the past time-loops

See the scene in the past time-loop where Japan finds Prussia but he forgets to lock the door and Steve comes in and Prussia dies and screamed "PRUSIAAAAAAAAA! JAPAN YOU BASTARD, LOCK THE DAMN DOOR! NOOOOOO!" in front of your parents/your teacher/your friend/public

See England (past) save America, Germany, and Italy (present) in the past time-loop and screamed "ENGLAND NOOOOOO! I LOVE YOU! DON'T DIE!" (I did and I'm proud of it)

See Germany (present) talking to dead Italy (in second time-loop that England reversed) and cried ignoring the people around you looking at you like you're crazy

Hear "Expecto Patronum" or "Sectumsemptra" and think not "Harry Potter", but "Iggy Potter" (I might have spelled the spells wrong….)

Were shocked at Russia for talking creepy stuff over the phone when normally, you would've expected it because you will think, "Hey, it's Russia."

Can now actually recognize Canada in the screen and if you don't see him, think not "Eh, he's just being invisible as always" but think "AHHHH! WHERE THE HELL IS CANADA!"(I always saw Canada, he's my favorite)

Started cussing when you normally don't after seeing England and America cuss repetitively in English Subbed (Yeah, true "Gentlemen"…)

Know that the only thing that will make you laugh while watching HetaOni is the comments that other people listed (those are HILARIOUS)

Know every time you see Steve, you think "DIE!" (and vice versa)

See the part where America saves (well, TRIES to save) England and felt like giving America a great big hug and freaked out when America got attacked by Steve

Loved the part where Japan and England worked together to stop the giant Steve in the annex

See the part where Prussia saved Germany in the escape tunnel (well, DESTROYED escape tunnel) and thought "YEAH PRUSSIAAAAAA! YOU'RE TOTALLY AWESOMEEEE!"

Officially made yourself a Italy fan

Think that the reason they ended the Hetalia Anime series (WHY?) is because Italy isn't a wimp so they can't do "Hetalia" anymore because it won't make any sense with Italy not being a Hetare (Japanese for "Wimp")

See England lose his sight and started screaming "NOOOOO! ENGLAND! NOOOOOOO!" (I did)

See Germany dying in the first time-loop say "I'll make you run ten laps…" and thought "I'LL RUN INFINITY LAPS SO DON'T DIE!"

Tried to make yourself stop crying by thinking of favorite Hetalia scenes which made you laugh and cry at the same time which is two times worse than what you have started out with

Want to make yourself a fan-made Hetalia character that can totally kick ass and go beat the hell out of Steve

Scream anytime Steve appears out of nowhere

Love Austria for talking to Italy over the phone

Completely freaked out when Steve attacked Italy and his heart stopped beating and screamed "ITA-CHAN NOOOOOO! YOU CAN'T DIEEEEE! YOU CAME THIS FARRRR!" and went on a rampage

Are willing to KILL (someone else than Steve) to watch HetaOni part 17 2/2

Were sobbing at the part where Italy realized that he isn't alone and he's going to escape with everyone (that part is tear-line breaking and so heart touching….)

See America thinking that he'll risk his life to save England and thought "FREAKING SHIT AMERICA DON'T DO THAT!"

Were freaked out when Italy told America that he got his shoulder bit off (wow…..)

See England and Japan working together to beat giant Steve in the annex the hottest thing ever

See Canada wanting to risk himself to get Texas back from Steve and thought "CANADA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SO DON'T DO THAT! I'M BEGGING YOU! KUMAJIRO STOP HIM!"

Wanted to give America a giant hug when he started talking about how he saw Canada and England dying in the past time-loops (so heart breaking….)

Spazzed out when England "vanished" XD to the annex in order to beat giant Steve and America chased after him

Completely freaked out when England attacked Steve all alone in the annex

Keep screaming "OMFG!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?! STOP ACTING ALONE!" every time a character acts alone

Feels that MochiMerica (that piece of mochi that was stuck on the wall) is really cute

Don't feel any embarrassment when you suddenly break down in public because you just had a flashback of the most saddest scene in HetaOni

Suddenly start preaching "No one's life should be sacrificed! Every one's going to live! Every one! No one's life should go to waste! Oh, except Steve. STEVE DESERVES TO DIE!" in public and you feel fine with people staring at you like you're insane

Are proud that you can't study for tests anymore with war in it

Kick and scream while your parents tell you to get the heck off the computer

Won't get off the computer no matter how much your parents threaten you

Try to convince your teacher that for movie day, we should totally watch HetaOni because it's FAR more educational than what they are planning to watch

Kinda feel bad for China for not having any spotlight at all

Almost started screaming when Russia and China went in the annex and saw Russia X China in it at the same time and you tried to force down a laugh

See USUK in it so much that you can't stop thinking "The creator must be USUK fan as well…."

Hear "Torture" and think "Lv. 79"

Hear "Holy Cross" and think "Prussia rocks it"

Hear "Curse" and think "Japan is the best at it"

Hear "Expecto Patronum" and think "What's England's Patronus?"

Hear "Machinegun" and think "WHERE THE FUCKING HELL DID ROMANO LEARN TO USE THAT THING?!"

Hear "Polar Bear" and think "Kumajiro's the most destructive"

Hear "Lv. 10" and think "Then Kolhoz is gonna get even stronger so Russia can totally kick butt right?"

Hear "Bows and arrows" and think "Why does Canada even need it?"

Hear "Flower garden" and think "Holy Roman Empire lives in it"

Are kinda convinced that Holy Roman Empire reincarnated into Germany (I strongly believes in this….)

Find a song that fits HetaOni like crazy and you are willing to make a MAD no matter how long it will take you

Remember "The Seven Colors Of HetaOni" by heart and love it like crazy

Constantly e-mail your friends HetaOni MADs

Are willing to learn Japanese so you can watch it without subs (I'm Japanese and I'll tell you, it's better without subs)

Squealed like a little girl when you saw your favorite character's face graphics improve when England "cleaned" Castle Germany (Me personally, England and Germany)

Are an America fangirl and you loved it when he was smiling with Texas off

Are a England fangirl and you almost fainted when seeing England's smile

Are a Japan fangirl and loved it when he beat crazy strong Tony butt all on his own in episode 4 or something

Are a Prussia fangirl and freaked out when he was hearing weird voices

Are a Russia fangirl and loved the part where he was talking to Belarus (True big brother….)

Are a France fangirl and kinda angry that he doesn't have a lot to do

Loved the bond between America and Canada (Made me teary…)

Changed your mind about your dream house being a giant mansion

Begged to your parents to return the new furniture that they got and it was white

Tried to destroy every white furniture you had in your house

Stopped taking piano lessons saying that "It's where Japan died and I can't do this anymore!"

Know that the Bad Friends Trio (France, Prussia and Spain) is extremely good at raising kids (Someone teaching England….)

Are crazily searching for a mansion to burn down

Hear that Japan just got hit by an earthquake, tsunami and Nuclear Power Plant problems and thought "Okay, I'm gonna get in there and stop Tony while the other countries are saving Japan…." In fact, hear any natural disasters in countries and think the same thing

Hate your friends for not crying while watching HetaOni

Searched for a tomato while watching HetaOni in order to throw it at Steve

Are willing to create HetaOni Anime or HetaOni Movie

Squealed like a 4 year old when Holy Roman Empire came out

Are constantly checking YouTube to find HetaOni part 17 2/2

Can't eat scones anymore since they all look like Steve(That is actually not true..)

Had to go grab a tissue to stop your tears, and then a bath towel, and then a bed sheet

Are kinda scared about being in your house all alone

Suddenly felt interest in learning how to use a rifle

Pop balloons imagining them as Steve's head

Your "Favorite" List is filled with HetaOni MADs

Are willing to jump in that mansion no matter how much the risk

Scream "YEAHHHHHH!" every time something good happens

Are eating pasta everyday wishing for everyone's safeness

WANT TO GATHER EVERY LOVE YOU CAN GET AND SEND IT ACROSS THE SCREEN TO THE CHARACTERS

KNOW THAT EVENTUALLY, IT WILL END WITH A HAPPILY EVER AFTER BY HundredPercentHetalian

"Write something to suit yourself and many people will like it; write something to suit everybody and scarcely anyone will care for it." Jesse Stuart

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye." Miss Piggy

"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. But today is a gift; that is why it is called the present." Oogway

"Love received and love given comprise the best form of therapy." Gordon William Allport

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand." Albert Einstein

"Sing as if no one's listening. Dance as if no one's watching. Live as if there's no tomorrow. Dream as if you have forever!" Unknown

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step." Lao Tzu

"Evil beware: we have waffles." Raven

"You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." Dr. Seuss

"Aang, this is my friend Foo-Foo Cuddly Poofs. Foo-Foo Cuddly Poofs, Aang." Sokka

"Name's Bonzu Pipinpadaloxicopolis, the Third! And these are my grandkids." Aang

"A ninja waits until the dead of night, when the enemy sleeps and drops his guard, when his weapons lie forgotten in the stillness of the night, that is the moment for a ninja to strike." Sasuke

"A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams." John Barrymore

Random Thingamajigs (Bold your favorites)

"He handed her eleven red roses and one fake red rose and told her, "I will love you until the last rose dies."

Sanity? I've never had such a useless thing in my life!

When in doubt... Push random buttons!

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

I'm not afraid of death. What's he gonna do - kill me?

I plan on living to be a hundred, or die trying!

"At one point," a firefighter commented, "we decided to fight fire with fire. Well, basically... Your house just burned faster."

I am not paranoid. WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!?

Whose sick joke was it for the fear of long words to be called hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia?

This place reeks of evil. Either that, or it's sausage... Nope, I'm pretty sure it's evil.

It's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's, not its, if you mean it is. If you don't, it's its. Then too, it's hers. It isn't her's. It isn't our's either. It's ours, and likewise yours and theirs.

Never judge a man till you have walked a mile in his shoes; because by then, he's a mile away, you've got his shoes, and you can say whatever you want to about him.

Anything in parenthesis can (not) be ignored.

Have you ever noticed anyone going slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that a hostage situation?

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

If life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and let everyone wonder how you did it.

If psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they still working?

If quitters never win and winners never quit, who came up with "Quit while you're ahead"?

If repetition is the key to learning, and repetition is a sign of stupidity, does that make learning stupid?

Isn't it scary to know that what doctors do for a living is called "practice"?

If you cry, I cry. If you laugh, I laugh. If you jump off a cliff, I laugh harder.

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What? You, too? Thought I was the only one!"

A day without sunshine... is night.

There are three kinds of people in the world: those who can do math, and those who can't.

Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me.

Music is like candy - you throw away the (w)rappers.

Boys are like slinkies: useless, but still VERY fun to watch fall down stairs.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

'It's always the last place you look.' Well of course it is! Why would I keep looking after I found it?

Sticks and stones may scar my skin, but words slice through my soul within.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

A thousand enemies outside the castle is better than one within.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them more.

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man.

Don't take life too seriously. No one gets out alive anyway.

Smile. It makes people wonder what you're up to.

If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.

Little boys who play with fire get burned. Little girls who play with fire get others burned.

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Then it's hilarious.

Intelligence is like underwear: everyone has it, but you don't have to show it off.

Some say the glass is half full; others say the glass is half empty. All I want to know is who on earth is drinking my water!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and tell life to make its own lemonade.

The fact that I tripped does not diminish the impact of my exit!

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Become evil.

NATIONAL SARCASM SOCIETY: Like we need your support.

Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

What's the speed of dark?

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

Why is round pizza in a square box?

Why do people say that they slept like a baby when babies wake up every two hours crying?

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person; but to one person, you are the world.

Some minds are like concrete: thoroughly mixed and permanently set.

The town was so dull that when the tide went out, it refused to come back in.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Education is important. School however, is another matter.

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.

If money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

Why do alarm clocks "go off” when they start making noise?

Why do we yell “Heads up!” when we should be yelling “Heads down!”?

Why is it called quicksand when it sucks you down very, very slowly?

How can something be both “new” and “improved”?

A friend wants to make you smile. A best friend knows to stay as far away as possible from you when you're smiling.

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read in school about wars that solved America's problems?

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.

It's you and me against the world. We attack at dawn.

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

I once stood in an open field and felt claustrophobic.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Boys are like trees: they take fifty years to grow up.

People say, "Guns don't kill people; people kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled "Bang!", I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Some people drink from the Fountain of Knowledge; others just gurgle.

If you don't like my driving, stay off the sidewalk!

There's a light at the end of every tunnel - just pray that it's not a train.

Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it's true.

Don't steal. The government hates the competition.

Truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction has to make sense.

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong.

If you can't beat them, join them. Then take over.

Enjoy every minute of life. There's plenty of time to be dead.

I used all my sick days, so I called in dead.

Save the Earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide.

When in doubt, make up words!

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.

I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something sparkly.

When someone tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

True love stories never have endings.

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.

Friendship doubles joy and halves grief.

And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

Lots of your friends want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

True friends are very difficult to find, hard to leave, and impossible to forget.

Hold a true friend with both your hands.

No guy is worth your tears, and the ones who are won’t make you cry.

Always laugh when you can. It is cheaper than medicine and tastes better, too.

Cute is when a person’s personality shines through their looks. Like in the way they walk, and every time you see them you just want to run up and hug them.

Life is not the amount of breaths you take; it’s the moments that take your breath away.

Love is just something you can’t explain, like the look of a rose, the smell of rain, or the feeling of forever.

A smile is the beginning of peace.

Give your smile to everyone, but give your heart to only one.

A smile happens in a flash, but its memory can last for a lifetime.

Do you love me because I’m beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me?

True love is being able to let them go.

True love is wanting them to be happy even if you're not a part of it.

We build up walls, not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.

We enjoy warmth because we've been cold. We enjoy light because we've seen darkness. We can experience joy because we've known sadness.

The tooth fairy teaches kids it's okay to sell body parts.

I'm not crazy. My reality is just different than yours.

Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

I say we shoot Cupid and see how he likes it.

I believe that dragons, unicorns, and sporks do exist.

Snot is brain juice leaking out of your nose.

If you're really my friend, I'll probably make jabs at you. It's all in good fun. But don't confuse jabs with insults. Insults involve actual dislike.

Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.

What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

Strangers have the best candy.

You stare because I’m different. I stare because you're all the same.

Free hugs.

Your epidermis is showing!

I do whatever my rice Krispes tell me to.

I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out.

Your chances of being struck by lightning go up if you stand on a hill beneath a tree, raise your fist to the sky, and shout, 'Storms stink!'

Be insane, because well-behaved girls never made history.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is GOING somewhere.

You don't like me? Well, it's mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.

Many a grandchild was spoiled because you simply cannot spank, Grandpa.

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers; yet on Halloween, it's encouraged! Why is that?

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think its Colin.

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?

They laugh because we're losers. We laugh because they just figured it out.

A computer password is like a toothbrush: Change it every six months and don't share with anyone else.

I tripped over a wireless phone.

Every day I think people can't get any stupider. Every day I am proven horribly wrong.

I want to be a warrior , not a damsel in that dress like you.

I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.

If I wanted your opinion, I'd take the tape off your mouth.

One day, your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask directions.

Slinky Escalator = Endless fun

You can't spell awesome without ME!

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I only lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, where on earth is my roof!

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

Wrinkles merely show where smiles have been.

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit just a little bit harder.

Whoever said that words never hurt obviously has never gotten hit by a dictionary.

Nine of the ten voices in my head think I'm sane. The tenth is undecided.

You say I've lost my sanity. Well, I have news for you. You can't lose what you never had.

The difference between genius and stupidity: genius has its limits.

I'm no good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment instead?

Happiness is your dentist telling you "It won't hurt a bit" and him catching his hand in the drill.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

Let's play truth or dare. Or maybe just dare since no one seems to tell the truth anymore.

Basic definitions of Science: If it's green and wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

Those who fail history class are doomed to repeat it.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is they have a common enemy.

You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.

A bookstore is one of the few pieces of evidence we have left that people are still thinking.

If you have noticed this notice, you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing.

Man invented language to satisfy his need to complain.

I'm the kind of person who laughs at a joke three times. Once when it's said. Once when it's explained to me. And once five minutes later when I finally get it.

There are three sides to an argument - your side, my side, and the right side.

For sale: Parachute, only used once, never been opened. Small stain.

I couldn't fix your breaks, so I made your horn louder.

You, you, and you - panic. The rest of you, follow me.

Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?

Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.

If you think things can't get any worse, you lack sufficient imagination.

I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll make an exception.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

Skill is walking across Niagara Falls on a tightrope without falling. Intelligence is not trying.

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine.

The first casualty of war is always truth.

Imagination is intelligence having fun.

You have enemies? Good. That means you stood up for something in your life.

Generally, generalizations are wrong.

The difficulty is not so great as to die for a friend, but to find a friend worth dying for.

We don't live in the world of reality; we live in the world of how we perceive reality.

If God had intended man to smoke, He would have set him on fire.

A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic.

Have the courage to live. Anyone can die.

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every two months.

At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free and charge five dollars for the second glass. It contained the antidote.

Don't you look at me with that tone of voice.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

The Force and duct tape are the same: both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together.

Someone asked me, "So, why do you like him so much?" But before I could even reply, my best friend put her hand over my mouth and said, "Don't even get her started!"

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

Why is abbreviated such a long word?

According to the latest figures, forty-three percent of all statistics are utterly worthless.

A university professor set an examination question in which he asked what the difference between ignorance and apathy is. He had to give an A to a student who answered "I don't know and I don't care."

Last night I played a blank tape on full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

Helpful Advice: A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.


In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (That's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (...And that would be how...?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's "just" a suggestion.) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Well, duh, a bit late, huh!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (And you thought...what?) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And... I'm taking this because...?) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to... what?) On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: Maybe, uh... Fly Delta?) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists: "Rememeber, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink: "After opening, keep upright." In a US guide to setting up a new computer, which was INSIDE the box: "To avoid condensation forming, allow the boxes to warm up to room temperature before opening." On the bottom of a Coke bottle: "Open other end."

I love Yu-gi-oh, Harry Potter, HETALIA:AXIS POWERS. PEANUT BUTTER!!!!!

Remember: If you see the me or the Weasley twins running, try to run faster, you'll live longer.

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 4.

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch?

Couch

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

Batman:The Animated Series.

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:

12:15

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

12:45

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

the refrigerator running

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

Today. I went to the Y.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

my fanfiction story that I'm writing.

The Tiger TIGER, tiger, burning bright In the forests of the night, What immortal hand or eye Could frame thy fearful symmetry? In what distant deeps or skies 5Burnt the fire of thine eyes? On what wings dare he aspire? What the hand dare seize the fire? And what shoulder and what art Could twist the sinews of thy heart? 10And when thy heart began to beat, What dread hand and what dread feet? What the hammer? what the chain? In what furnace was thy brain? What the anvil? What dread grasp 15Dare its deadly terrors clasp? When the stars threw down their spears, And water'd heaven with their tears, Did He smile His work to see? Did He who made the lamb make thee? 20 Tiger, tiger, burning bright In the forests of the night, What immortal hand or eye Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

"Are you planning on surrendering?"

The haughty tone rang through the open space like a gong. Stifling the crawling sensation he felt go along his skin, Tony placed his customary 'eat-shit' grin on his face and made his way to the bar.

"Actually I plan on threatening you."

Scoffing at the idea, Loki used the staff to point at the ledge he had just come from. "You should have left your suit on for that."

"Perhaps." Making his way around the marble counter, Tony felt a spark of happiness when he found two copper bracelets exactly where he had left them. "Would you like a drink? I'm going to have a drink."

Turning around to check his liquor supply, the genius barely contained the rage he felt against the god, his hands shaking even as he picked up a crystal decanter with an auburn liquid inside. Whiskey?

"You have already lost," Loki spoke, his giddiness radiating. "You are defenceless. Nothing can stop me."

"Perhaps. Or maybe the Avengers," Taking a quick swig of the liquid; yep defiantly whisky, Tony glanced up and almost chuckled at the look of confusion on the serpent. "Oh, that's what we call ourselves. Earth's mightiest heroes, and all that jazz."

"Yes, I have met them."

"I will admit, we have a little trouble with traction in the beginning," Tony nodded in agreement, placing his glass down on the counter and using the same movement to pick up the bracelets. "But think about it. We have a man with breath taking anger management issues, you're brother; a Norse god of thunder, a legend that actually lives up to the legend, two highly trained assassins, and you, have managed to piss off every single one of them."

"I have an army!"

"We have a Hulk!" By Hard-headed-woman.

IMPORTANT- Teenage girls who are NOT in love with Edward Cullen/ Robert Pattison/Jacob/Taylor Lautner are fast becoming an endangered species. If you are part of this endangered species, copy and paste this in your profile. Quick, we need sponsers!


You say vampires, I say DEMIGODS!

You say Rob Pattinson, I say LOGAN LERMAN!

You say Bella and Edward, I say PERCY AND ANNABETH

You say Team Edward, I say TEAM PERCY!

You say Bella, I say ANNABETH!

You say Jacob, I say NICO!

You say Jasper, I say LUKE!

You say Alice, I say THALIA!

You say Rosalie, I say SILENA!

You say the wolf pack, I say THE STOLLS!

You say Emmett, I say BECKENDORF!

You say Carlisle, I say CHIRON!

You say Esme, I say ZOE!

You say Forks, I say CAMP HALF-BLOOD!

You say Twilight, I say...PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS BABY!!!!!!!

BEAT THAT TWILIGHT FANS!

PERCY JACKSON PWNZ


NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast PJO FANS: will tell Zeus to make it rain NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG! PJO FANS: say OH MY GODS! NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings PJO FANS: won't go to one because they will take away your awesome demigod powers NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or I'll tell on you! PJO FANS: say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you! NORMAL PEOPLE: think that PJO fans are stupid PJO FANS: know that normal people are stupid NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY! PJO FANS: when being chased use their awesome demigod powers/skills NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms PJO FANS: yell at Zeus to calm down (politely) NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation PJO FANS: would try and find Camp Half Blood NORMAL PEOPLE:don't have this on their profile PJO FANS: MUST have this on their profile!

REAL FRIENDS AND NOT SO REAL FRIENDS

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food. REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs. REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn, that was fun. Let's do it again!"

FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry. REAL FRIENDS: Kick the ass of whatever made you cry.

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. REAL FRIENDS: Keep your junk so long they forget its yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile. REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door. REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough. REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Come on, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you. REAL FRIENDS: Will kick their ass to hell and out!

FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with the most vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

THIS IS A STORY ABOUT GOD. READ IF YOU BELIEVE IN HIM, AND READ EVEN IF YOU DON'T

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it? REPOST THIS IF YOU TRULY BELIEVE IN GOD!!

If you've ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever run into a door copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree copy this onto your profile.

If you prefer cold and snow over heat and sun, paste this to your profile.

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever read past two in the morning, copy this into your profile.

If there are times when you just want to annoy someone for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this into your profile

If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with the current conversation, copy this into your profile.

If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you're a night person, copy this to your profile.

If you think clowns are evil and will someday take over the world copy this on your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.

If people tend to misunderstand you copy this to your profile.

If your friends can scare you by saying the word pink or cute wittle bunny rabbits copy this to your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you've ever felt like something was watching you and then turned around to find nothing, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile

if you have ever been on one train of thought but got distracted for a few seconds and forgot what it was, copy and... what was i doing?

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone their not, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want to see the world someday, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile

If you've ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things in your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy this to your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you’re a person who acts friendly, but has an evil mind and is planning to dominate the world, copy this to your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile

Put an X if you have done these things

X You've run into a glass/screen door.

X You have jumped out of a moving vehicle

X You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.

XYou have run into a tree/bush.

XYou know that it IS possible to lick your elbow

X You have tried to lick your elbow

XYou never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle , Twinkle Little _Star have the same tune.

X You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.

XYou have accidentally caught something on fire

You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes.

XYou have caught yourself drooling.

You have fallen asleep in class and started to talk/drool, or snore.

X Sometimes you just stop thinking.

X You are telling a story and forget what you were talking about. People often shake their heads and walk away from you.

You are often told to use your 'inside voice'.

X You use your fingers to do simple math.

You have eaten a bug

XYou are taking this test when you should be doing something more important.

X You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it.

X You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand.

XYou’ve ever stapled your hand

You break a lot of things.

Your friends know not to use big words around you.

X You tilt your head when you're confused.

XYou have fallen out of your chair before.

X When you're lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling.

X The word 'um' is used many times a day

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food. REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs. REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents mom & dad

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. REAL FRIENDS: Would be sittin next to you sayinin man... That was awesome!

FAKE FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget its yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. REAL FRIENDS: Will get the whole crowd that left you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. REAL FRIENDS: walk in without knocking like they live there.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk bad to the person who talks bad about you. REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them out.

FAKE FRIENDS: Would ignore this. REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it.

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for a while. REAL FRIENDS: Are forever!

Copy and paste this to your profile if you were very, VERY, VERY angry when Danny phantom was cancelled

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

I walk in the rain- others just get wet! Copy and paste if you walk in the rain!

If you love Fanfiction.net, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever laughed at people getting hurt copy and paste this on your profile.

Copy and paste this to your profile if every time your friends ask you what you did this morning you reply with something about being on the computer.

Copy and paste this to your profile if you love thunder storms.

Copy and paste this to your profile if you think that the backspace key is one of the best inventions ever.

things to do at wal-mart

Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.

In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile

If you've ever written stuff on your car windows when they're covered in condensation, copy this to your profile

If you ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you really have no idea how this copy and pasting stuff started, but enjoy it anyway, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.

What to Do During an Exam

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Darn this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go ice skating.)

15. Show up completely insane (completely insane means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. (I would never do that)

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Act spazzy

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

34. Fake an heart attack. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girly-girl nearby.

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your pencil. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

42. Dress like the professor.

43. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

44. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.


A good friend helps you up when you fall down. A best friend laughs and trips you again. Or sits on you back and forces you to stay down...

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will prank call him and whisper, “You will die in seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend never asks for anything to eat or drink. Best friends Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

A good friend Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. A best friend Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. A best friend loses your junk and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

A good friend only knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds’ butt that left you.

A good friend would knock on your front door. A best friend will walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

A friend will help me find my way when I'm lost. A best friend will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

A friend will help me learn to drive. A best friend will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.

A friend will watch my pets when I go away. A best friend won't let me go away without them.

A friend will go to a concert with me. A best friend will kidnap the band with me.

A good friend hides me from the cops. A best friend is probably the reason they are after me in the first place.

A good friend lets me make an idiot of myself in public. A best friend is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

A good friend is only through school/college. A best friend is for life.

If you had ever gotten writer's block in a sudden and random moment, copy this to your profile

If you like chocolate as much as i do copy and paste this into your profile

Highlight the things that has happened to you

I have:

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out 2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails 3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it 4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking 5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking 6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head 7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself 8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand 9. Tried to push open a door that said pull 10. Tried to pull open a door that said push 11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion 12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else 13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs 14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave 15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair 16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble 17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it 18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard 19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name 20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot 21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on 22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle. 23. Have run into a closed door 24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else 25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it 26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke 27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer 28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan 29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk 30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock 31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it 32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside 33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else 34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property 35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot 36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on 37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in 38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard 39. Walked into a pole 40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident 41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house 42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on 43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small 44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it 45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do. 46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it 47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up 48. Have poked yourself in the eye 49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on 50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair 51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test 52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil 53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it 54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was. 55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were 56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on 57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day. 58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it 60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny or a movie 61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa 62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it 63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence 64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person 65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side 66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions 67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong 68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it 69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out- 70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught 71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face 72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb 73. Ran into a door jam 74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid 75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it 76. Have purposely licked playground sand 77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band 78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't 79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people 80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out 81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off 82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again 83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back. 84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about 85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair 86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone 87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird 88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people 89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria 90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it. 91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil 92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them 93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper 94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours 95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story 96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs 97. You have spelled your own name wrong before 98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling. 99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class. 100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth.


YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (Fav color and fav animal): RED PANTHER


I don't care if you don't like my stories, but you have to Read and Review.

I am the youngest in my family.

I can write seven stories at once.

I can read ten books, from three different book series at once.

If you sometimes talk to yourself / sing to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.

I still enjoy reading other stories, but prefer writing my own stories.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste

I know normally you include the disclaimer in the story, but I'm lazy so I'm gonna put it here. I own nothing, absolutely nothing everyone, including you people are too lazy to read my profile, in my stories except for the OCs and any songs that I might write and use for them.

If you are against abortion, COPY AND PASTE TO YOUR PROFILE!!! Once the baby is in the womb, whether its almost born or just recent, it does have a heart, soul and spirit!

Month one

Mommy I am only 8 inches long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy I'm a boy! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master... He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher... He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer... He had no army, yet kings feared him... He won no military battles, yet he conquered the World... He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him... He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us... If you believe in the tiune God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost then copy and paste this in your profile If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says... " If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."


Please enjoy my stories, which may and probably will include stories from the following:

Favorite book series, T.V. shows, movies, books, episodes, artists, and songs

Pendragon: Journals of An Adventure Through Time and Space

Maximum Ride

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Mulan

Mulan2

Avatar: The Last Airbender: The Burning Earth

Avatar: The Last Airbender: Into The Inferno (I've never played it, but I still like it)


Pendragon: Journals of an Adventure through Time and Space Pendragon: The Merchant of Death Pendragon: The Lost City of Faar Pendragon: The Never War Pendragon: The Reality Bug Pendragon: Black Water Pendragon: The Rivers of Zadaa Pendragon: The Quillian Games Pendragon: The Pilgrims of Rayne Pendragon: Raven Rise


Maximum Ride Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment Maximum Ride: School's Out--Forever Maximum Ride: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports Maximum Ride: The Final Warning Maximum Ride: MAX Maximum Ride: FANG Maximum Ride: ANGEL

You Know You're Obsessed With Maximum Ride When...

1.You're friends think you're crazy for being obsessed with six flying kids and their talking dog. 2. You see someone in a white lab coat then run off screaming. 3. You've called one of your siblings/friends/family members Max, Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, or Angel. 4. You refuse to talk to anyone who's named Ari.

5. You claim you have wings. 6. You drool when you hear the word 'Fang'. 7. You daydream about meeting the flock. 8. You've reread Maximum Ride about 3 times or more.

9. You look for the flock's theme songs and get excited when you find one that fits perfect. 10. You study about birds. 11. You hate science class/refuse to dissect any type of animal. 12. You have a crush on Iggy or Fang or both.

13. You read Fang's blog daily. Even though you know it's JP talking. 14. You're waiting for your 'Nick Ride'.

15. You are counting down the days for the next book.

16. You will go to the first opening for the movie, even if it's at midnight

17. You look in the mirror cautiously to make sure your reflection is not an Eraser. 18. You hate dog crates. 19. You think scientists are evil. 20. You argue with people if Max is a girl's name or a guy's. 21. When you’re spending the night at a friend's, you say you'll take first watch

22. You've found a new respect for blind people. (I've always had respect for them.) 23. You think MR is the best series ever and you want to meet James Patterson, author 24. You say 'U and A’ a lot. 25. You think you have a Voice like Max. 26. You've gotten your Online Friends hooked on it. 27. You use sarcastic remarks from MR. 28. You know what 'Fax' is. 29. You were one of the characters from MR for Halloween. 30. You claim to have brain attacks. ( 31. You protect your thoughts. Angel might be reading them. 32. You give a crazy look to people who don't know what MR is. 33. You daydream of flying. 34. You love chocolate chip cookies. 35. You seriously felt like you were in the book. 36. If you want to become a writer because of MR 37. If they make a poster, shirt, key-chain, button, anything MR you will buy it.

38. If you love Fan-fiction. ( 39. In school, it's hard to concentrate because you're thinking of Maximum Ride.

40. You want a talking dog.

Avatar: The Last Airbender Pilot (did not air on television) The Boy in the Iceberg The Avatar Returns The Southern Air Temple The Warriors of Kyoshi The King of Omashu Imprisoned The Spirit World Avatar Roku The Waterbending Scroll Jet The Great Divide The Storm The Blue Spirit The Fortune Teller Bato of the Water Tribe The Deserter The Northern Air Temple The Waterbending Master The Siege of the North1 The Siege of the North2 The Avatar State The Cave of Two Lovers Return to Omashu The Swamp Avatar Day The Blind Bandit Zuko Alone The Chase Bitter Work The Library The Desert The Serpent's Pass The Drill City of Walls and Secrets The Tales of Ba Sing Se Appa's Lost Days Lake Laogai The Earth King The Guru The Crossroads of Destiny The Awakening The Headband The Painted Lady Sokka's Master The Beach The Avatar and the Firelord The Runaway The Puppetmaster Nightmares and Daydreams The Day of Black Sun1: Invasion The Day of Black Sun2: Eclipse The Western Air Temple The Firebending Masters The Boiling Rock1 The Boiling Rock2 The Southern Raiders The Ember Island Players Sozin's Comet1: The Phoenix King Sozin's Comet2: The Old Masters Sozin's Comet3: Into the Inferno Sozin's Comet4: Avatar Aang

Lesson #1 Mulan-Earth, Sky, Day, Night Sound and silence, Dark and light One alone is not enough, You need both together.. Winter, Summer, Moon and Sun.. Lesson Number one!

all-wow!

Mulan-Like a rock, huh-huh. You must be hard, huh-huh. Like an oak, mmmuh. You must stand firm, huh-huh. Cut quick like my blade. Think fast, huh-huh Unafraid.

all-Like a rock, huh-huh. I must be hard, huh-huh. Like an oak, mmmuh. I must stand firm, huh-huh. Cut quick like my blade. Think fast, huh-huh Unafraid.

spoken- Sha-Ron-Okay Mulan, I'm ready! Mulan-Uh-huh. But you're still out of balance. You're only halfway there.

Mulan-Like a cloud. You are soft. Like bamboo. You bend in the wind. Creeping slow. You're at peace because you know. It's okay to be afraid.

all-Like a cloud. I am soft. Like bamboo. I bend in the wind. Creeping slow. I'm at peace because I know. It's okay to be afraid.

Mulan-One alone is not enough. all-(One alone is not enough.) Mulan-You need both together. all-(You need both together.) Mulan-Winter,summer.Moon and sun. all-(Winter,summer.Moon and sun.) Mulan-Lesson # 1!

Group 1-Like a cloud. Group 2-Like a rock, huh-huh. Group 1-I am soft. Group 2-I must be hard, huh-huh. Group 1-Like bamboo. Group 2-Like an oak, mmmuh. Group 1-I bend in the wind.

Mulan-(You can fly!)

Group 2-I must stand firm, huh-huh. Group 1-Creeping slow.I'm at peace because I know. Group 2-Cut quick like my blade.Think fast, huh-huh Group 1-It's okay to be afraid. Group 2-Unafraid.

Mulan-You have begun! all-Lesson # one (x5) Lesson # 1!!

The Plagues Thus saith the Lord: Since you refuse to free my people All through the land of Egypt... I send a pestilence and plague Into your house, into your bed Into your streams, into your streets Into your drink, into your bread Upon your cattle, on your sheep Upon your oxen in your field Into your dreams, into your sleep Until you break, until you yield I send the swarm, I send the horde Thus saith the Lord Once I called you brother Once I thought the chance to make you laugh Was all I ever wanted... I send the thunder from the sky I send the fire raining down And even now I wish that God had chose another Serving as your foe on his behalf Is the last thing that I wanted... I send a hail of burning ice On ev'ry field, on ev'ry town This was my home All this pain and devastation How it tortures me inside All the innocent who suffer From your stubbornness and pride... I send the locusts on a wind Such as the world has never seen On ev'ry leaf, on ev'ry stalk Until there's nothing left of green I send my scourge, I send my sword Thus saith the Lord! You who I called brother Why must you call down another blow? I send my scourge, I send my sword Let my people go Thus saith the Lord You who I called brother How could you have come to hate me so? Is this what you wanted? I send the swarm, I send the horde... Then let my heart be hardened And never mind how high the cost may grow This will still be so: I will never let your people go... Thus saith the Lord: Thus saith the Lord: I will not... Let your (my) people go!

You Know Better Than I I thought I did what's right I thought I had the answers I thought I chose the surest road But that road brought me here So I put up a fight And told you how to help me Now just when I have given up The truth is coming clear Chorus 1: You know better than I You know the way I've let go the need to know why For You know better than I If this has been a test I cannot see the reason But maybe knowing I don't know is part of getting through I tried to do what's best But faith has made it easy To see the best thing i can do Is to put my trust in You. Chorus 2 For, You know better than I You know the way I've let go the need to know why For You know better than I Coda: I saw one cloud and thought it was a sky I saw a bird and thought that I could follow But it was You who taught that bird to fly If i let You reach me Will You teach me. (Repeat Chorus ) For, You know better than I You know the way I've let go the need to know why I'll take what answers you supply You know better than I

Avatar: The Last Airbender Theme Song Lyrics Water. Earth. Fire. Air. Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony. Then everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked. Only the Avatar, master of all four elements, could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he vanished. A hundred years passed and my brother and I discovered the new Avatar, an airbender named Aang, and although his airbending skills are great, he still has a lot to learn before he's ready to save anyone. But I believe Aang can save the world.

If you hear the voices of characters in your head, put this onto your profile.

If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insanse, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

Favorite Quotes

Max's Voice Quotes

“I knew you’d come. I’ve got big plans for you. Playing is learning, Max. Games test your abilities. Fun is crucial to human development. Go have fun, Max. Get on the Madison Avenue bus. Get off where it looks like fun. It’s just a toy, Max. Kids deserve toys. Don’t you think you deserve a toy too? I’m sorry it hurts sometimes, Max. I don’t want to hurt you. I want to help you. All in good time, Max. You need to learn how to relax. Relaxation facilitates learning and communication. Studies have shown it. But you’re not relaxing. Just one voice, Max. Not voices. Calm down. You can use it if you can figure out the password. You never know until you know. It’s okay, Max. You can use it. Once you get the password. Don’t borrow trouble, Max. Worry is unproductive. You can’t control what happens to Angel. You can save the world, but the only thing you can control is you. Go to sleep, Max. It’s time to learn. Time to learn. This is on a need-to-know basis, Max. You need to know. Not weird, Max. Divine. And brilliant. You six are works of art. Enjoy it. Come one, Max. You and I both know that isn’t true. A regular family and a regular life would bore you to tears. What do you wish you could do, Max? If you could do anything? Maybe you would want to be able to save the world. Did you ever think of that? But grown-ups are the ones destroying the world. Think about it. Don’t think about what has to be, Max. Think about what is. Yes, Max, you are going to die. Just like everybody else. When are you going to trust me, Max? When are you going to trust yourself? You’re on your own now, Max. See you later. There you go, Max. That’s the difference between you and Fang. Is it important to be right or do what’s right? That’s one of the hardest lessons to learn. Plan ahead, Max. Think it out. Think on your feet. That’s more than three questions, Max. And sometimes whether someone is your friend or enemy is all in how you look at it. But if you must know. I consider myself you friend, a good friend who loves you very much. No one loves you more than I do, Maximum. Now listen. I ask the questions, not you. You’re just here, chuckle for the ride. For incredible, indescribable, Maximum Ride. Knowledge is a terrible burden, Max. It’s a two-edged sword. It might help you, but it might put in danger greater than anything you’ve faced so far. Max—you have a bigger mission than finding the flock’s parents. Focus on helping the whole world, not just your friends. You had to do it, Max. You’re still working toward the greater good. And nothing can interfere with that. Nothing can interfere with your mission to save the world. Optimism is overrated, Max. It’s better to face reality head-on. Split up, Max. Think 3-D. Max? Size isn’t everything. Nudge. And Iggy. Take a deep breath, Max. Stop the bleeding. Stop the bleeding. Put pressure on it. Press the cloth over it and lean on the wounds with both hands. Elevate his feet. You have to respect you enemy, Max. Never, ever underestimate them. The second you do, they’ll squash you. Be smart about them. Respect their abilities, even if they don’t respect yours. You chose to stay with Fang. Family is extremely important. Didn’t you tell me that once? Respect and honor your enemies. Always. Know your friends well; know your enemies even better. Your greatest strength is your greatest weakness, Max. Your hatred of Erasers gives you the power to fight to the death. But that hatred also blinds you the big picture: the big picture of them, of you, of everything in your life. So glad you’re having fun, Maximum. While the world burns. You do fit into it, Max. You’re part of everything and everything is part of you. Everything should flow together. The more you resist, the more pain you’ll feel. The more you go with the flow, the more whole you’ll be. Don’t resist the flow, Max. Become one with the flow. Asunción. Inhabited principally by the Guarani. Explored by Europeans starting in 1518. Paraguay is a land-locked country in South America. Population, six million and change— Maybe you have feelings for him. You can’t still stay children forever. People grow up, have kids of their own. Think about it. Watch it! Go with the flow. Max—focus! Believe what you know, not what you see. Go with the flow, Max. Max, you need to stay focused. If you’re going to Florida, go to Florida. Pick a goal and follow it through. When you’re saving the world, you can’t exactly take commercial breaks. Max, you’re acting a child. You’re above rebelling against your fate just to rebel. You’ve got a date with destiny. Don’t be late. Max, sooner or later, you have to take this seriously. If it was just your life, no one would care if you bothered. But we’re talking about saving everyone’s lives. By existing. By being strong. By lasting. Yes, that would be cruel. You might not want to know. Are you sure you want to know? You’re in an isolation tank. A sensory-deprivation chamber. I don’t know where, exactly. Think, Max. What is they want from you? What would happen if you took that away from them? Think about it. You’re afraid of them. Fear is your weakness. You must conquer all your weaknesses. Good, Max. Keep your eyes on the prize. Excellent, Max. Sometimes you amaze me. Connections are important, Max. You were doing pretty well on your own. Everyone is always alone, Max. That’s why connections are important. Connections, Max. Remember your dream? No. Your dream that the Erasers are chasing you and you run through the woods until you come to a ledge. Then you fall off the ledge but start flying. And escape. This canyon is very much like your dream. It’s as if you’ve come full circle. Connections. Putting it all together. Your dream, Fang’s laptop, people you’ve met, places you’ve been, Itex, the School, the Institute. Isn’t it all connected? You’ll see. You’ll figure it out. Before it’s too late. They’re dead, Max. They’ve all been...retired. Dead. They’ve been retired. All around the world, every branch of the organization has been terminating their recombinant-DNA experiments. You’re among the only ones left. And they’re coming for you. Tsk-tsk. You guys are crazy about each other. Maybe he really does just want to talk. Max, you’re making a serious mistake. Get up and get out of here right now. Get back to your mission. I’m very serious about this. Max. Max, I forbid you to take out the chip. Too late for that, Max. Only you can help yourself now. Everything’s part of the big picture, Max. All you have to do is put the pieces together. Sometimes all you have is instinct, a gut feeling. It’s important to pay attention to it. Hello, Maximum. I’m glad you’re okay. I’ve missed talking with you. Now I’m back. Have you thought about your choices lately, Max? Are you making choices for the greater good or just for yourself? Stopping it is your job, Max. You both have hard decisions to make, Max. Decisions that will affect the whole world, your future. Everyone’s future. Go to Europe. England, first. Start with England. Look for Schools. Go to Washington D.C. There’s a direct flight from Dulles. Exactly like. Right down to the shiny silver outside. You’ll be fine. Go to Europe. England, first. Start with England. Look for Schools. Go to Washington D.C. There’s a direct flight from Dulles. Exactly like. Right down to the shiny silver outside. You’ll be fine. You know, when you’re right, that’s all you get to be. Yes, you should pursue your mission. But you haven’t learned how to balance your leadership. You have to lead, but you must also listen. Max, they’re children. They’re just along for the ride. A strong leader can bend sometimes. Remember the Hydra, Max? No. The Lernaean Hydra, one of the labors of Heracles. Every time Heracles cut off a head, two grew back in it’s place. Think it through, Max. It’ll come to you. The Hydra itself must be killed. The whole thing at once. This is just one head. Find the body and kill it. I couldn’t have said it better myself, Max. You’re where you need to be, doing what you need to do. But are you sure you can do this alone? You’re missing half your family. Who are also half your army. Does that mean it’s not your problem and you don’t have to fix it? You need the rest of the flock. You need more fighters on your side. Get them back. Max, you have to trust me. You were created to save the world. You still can. Max. Max. You’ve come a long way, Max. You’re almost home. Everything will work out, but you have to do your best. And you have to trust me again. Max — you’re still here to save the world. That’s what you born for, that’s point of everything, all of this. No one else can do it. I believe that with all my heart. This isn’t a test and I’m not snowing you. You have to do this. Nothing in the history of mankind has ever been more important. Nothing. Ever. Ever. That isn’t you, Max. No. Because that’s not you who are as a person. No one designed it. It’s all you. You’re just not a killer. You’ve shown that again and again. And it makes me prouder than anything else about you. Okay, Max. This meeting is very important, so no funny business. Just remember your mission, keep your mind open, and listen to what they have to say. I’m not Jeb. You were wrong about that. You have part of the picture, Max. Not all of the picture. Sometimes when you’re at you most certain, that’s when everything you know is wrong. You’re making progress. You’re a couple steps ahead. But Max, you’re mostly human. MAX, FLY TO THESE COORDINATES. Your mom is waiting for you. You’re off course. Correct by three degrees, south-southwest. It’s okay, Max. This is part of the bigger picture. You’re being used, but for good this time. I knew there was something strange about that dog. Max? I know you’re in the middle of something here, and I hate to interrupt, but there’s another mission for you. Max, Max, Max. The world isn’t saved yet, is it? You’ve got work to do. Now, get out of there, and I’ll give you the coordinates of where you need to go. He’s your soulmate. Your mind creates your reality. If you expect nothing, you open up the universe to give you options. If you expect the worst, you usually get it. Max. Go lie down. You’re having a panic attack. You’re having a panic attack. Go lie down on your bunk and slowly breathe in and out. You’re okay. Go lie down. There’s plenty of air. And you’ve got to start paying more attention to her. And to what she’s saying. Get a move on, Max. The birds are working. The birds are working. The birds are working. They’re working to help us. Beware of Mr. Chu. And maybe Brigid.”—The Voice.

If you are totally against Catherine Hardwicke directing Maximum Ride , copy and paste this into your profile.

If you talk to yourself or fictional characters copy/paste this into your profile

If you ever wondered who made up all the 'copy this into your profile' thingies then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!


If you're Defying Gravity, and no one can pull you down, copy this into your profile

If you think that green skin is awesome, copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions when you probably should be doing something else, copy this onto your profile

If your response to that is “You say that like it’s a bad thing,” copy paste this into your profile


Classes were cancelled as three of the professors refused to leave their quarters. This left the rest of the student body free to pester Madame Pomfrey.

-- Musical Maladies, Chapter 2, by Wings Of Fancy


She glared at him- the puppy look was lethal on it's own, did he really need to throw in the nickname?

- By the Book, by Tiggy the Hopeless Romantic


Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment. ‘“Let me tell you a secret, old pal, old chap,” Ari yelled at me. You’ve got it all wrong. We’re the good guys!”


My name is Tiffany.

I am three.

My eyes are swollen.

I cannot see.

I must be stupid.

I must be bad.

What else could have made my dad so mad?

I wish I were better.

I wish I weren't ugly.

Then maybe my mommy would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong.

I can't speak at all.

Or else I'm locked up,

All day long.

When I'm awake,

I'm all alone.

The house is all dark.

My folks aren't home.

But when my mommy does come home,

I'll try and be nice.

So maybe I'll just get,

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car.

My daddy is back from Charlie's bar.

I press my self against the wall.

I try to hide,

From his evil eyes.

I'm so afraid now.

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping,

Calls me ugly words.

He says it's my fault he suffers at work.

He slaps,

And hits me,

And yells some more.

I finally get free,

And run to the door.

He's already locked it,

And I start to bawl.

He takes me,

And throws me against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor,

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues,

With more bad words spoken,

"I'm sorry!",

I scream.

But it's now much too late.

His face has been twisted,

Into an unimaginable shape.

The hurt and the pain,

Again and again.

O please God have mercy,

O please let it end!

And he finally stops,

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless.

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Tiffany.

I am three.

Tonight my daddy murdered me.

You can help save girls like Tiffany, by spreading the word, and posting this story onto your profile. I would only imagine what sadistic person would read this and not post it onto their profiles. So please, post this story on your profile and help end child abuse!

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you frickin' could, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach, O.C., or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

Put this in your profile if you know someone who is fighting, has survived, or died of cancer.

If you have ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If, for any particular reason, you have laughed during a movie that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love rain, the wind, and the cold copy and paste this in to your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile.

If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile.

If you have ever wondered what the afterlife is like, copy this into your profile.

If you are insanely weird, copy this into your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wondered why someone decided to milk a cow, copy/paste this in your profile.

If you've ever wondered why monkeys like bananas, copy/paste this in your profile.

If random songs just pop into your head at any given moment, from 'I've Been Working On the Railroad', to the Animorph version of the Barney song (I hate you, you hate me, we're an alien family ect. Personally, I like this version better) to your most favorite song ever, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If you like slash, femslash, yoai and yuri and you don't know how the fuck that happened, copy and paste this into your profile.

Child abuse is wrong, evil, and sick. If your abused run to the police as fast as you can because you don't deserve it! If you know your friend is being abused tell the police no matter what they say! They may be mad at you know but at least there not dead or being hurt by evil, cruel people! Help others by making the right choice and tell an adult!

Her name was Aurora She was only five This is what happened When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk Her mom was an addict Her parents kept her Locked up in an attic

Her only friend Was a little toy bear It was old and worn out And had patches of hair

She always talked to it When no one's around She lays there and hugs it Not a peep of a sound

Until her parents Unlock the door Some more and more pain She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg A scar on her face Why would she be In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear And softly cries She loves her parents But they want her to die

She sits in the corner Quiet but thinking, "God, why? Why is My life always sinking?"

Such a bad life For a sad little kid She'd get beaten and beaten For anything that she did

Then one night Her mom came home high The poor child was beaten As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly Grabbed for a blade It was sharp and pointy One that she made

She thrusted the blade Right into her chest, "You deserve to die You worthless pest!"

The mom walked out Leaving the girl slowly dying She grabbed her bear And again started crying

Police showed up At the small little house They quickly barged in Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly Opened a door To find the sad little girl Lying there on the floor

It must have been bad To go through so much harm But at least she died With her best friend in her arms

If you hate child abuse then repost this on your profile. If you don't then you have no soul!!

My name is Sarah and I am but three, My eyes are swollen shut and I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, Why else would daddy be so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mummy would still want to hug me, I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong, Or else I'm locked up all the day long, When I awake I'm all alone, The house is dark my folks aren't home, When my mummy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll just get one whipping tonight, Don't make a sound! I just heard a car, My daddy is home from Charlie's Bar, I hear him curse my name he calls, I press myself against the wall, I try and hide from his evil eyes, I'm just so scared I start to cry, He finds me weeping he shouts ugly words, He says it's my fault he suffers at work, He slaps me and hits me and yells at me more, I finally get free and I run for the door, He's already locked it and I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me against the hard wall, I fall to the floor with my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues with more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!" I scream but its now much too late His face has been twisted into unimaginable hate The hurt and the pain again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops and heads for the door, While I lay there motionless sprawled on the floor. My name is Sarah and I am but three, Tonight my daddy murdered me.

If you think the above poem is sad and child abuse is wrong, copy this into your profile.

NORMAL PEOPLE vs. YU-GI-OH FANS

normal people: Rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Would rather rely on Ishizu for future predictions.
normal people: Say "OMG!"
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Say "Oh my RA! (OMR!)"
normal people: Say "Shut up or I'll tell on you!"
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Say "Shut up or I'll steal Seto's check book and blame it on you!"
normal people: Think bad guys are very ugly.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Know a lot better and absolutely love Bakura and Marik.
normal people: When being chased yell "HELP ME SOMEBODY!"
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: When being chased yell "HELP ME ATEM!"
normal people: Get nervous or scared during thunderstorms.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Know that there might be a duel between Yami Yugi and Yami Bakura, and that one of them might be shirtless.
normal people: Would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Would go directly to Domino City or find a way to Ancient Egypt.
normal people: Would be scared when they see people in purple cloaks chasing them.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Just know that Marik sends his rare hunters to be sure that you are fine.
normal people: Get freaked out when they see scary people on motorcycles.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Know a lot better and know that it is possibly Marik.
normal people: Think Yu-Gi-Oh is just a stupid children’s card game.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Know that Duel Monsters is the source of all happiness.
normal people: Solve their problems by suing each other.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Solve their problems by playing a children's card game.
normal people: Don't believe in real magic.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Are always watchful for chances to be sent to the Shadow Realm.
normal people: Don't believe in the apocalypse.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Laugh and show them Zorc and/or Season 0 Mokuba.

Put this
on your profile
if you support
the ORIGINAL
YU-GI-OH!!
ORIGINAL YU-GI-OH
(meaning not GX or 5Ds!)
((Crappy little spin-off shows!!))

二人の男がそれを販売するために身体を掘り起こしていた。よく、彼らは彼らのカートの後ろに死体を入れて飲み物を得るためにパブで停止することを決定。彼らは死体をドレスアップし、それが生きて見えるように運転席に置いてください。それから、彼らはパブに行く。しかし、二つ以上の男性が出てくると、彼らは、男は生きていると考え、死体を迎える。明らかに彼らは全く返事をもらえないので、犯罪を取り、そのうちの1つが応答を得るためにドライバを位置を微調整。その後、死体を見て、とまで地味な二人の男が考えている。死体の服でそのドレスの一つが、その後彼らは、カートの後ろに体と第二の男を隠す。死体はボディスナッチャーがパブから出てくると彼らはカートに乗って死体を残して彼らの方法で継続するように、別の何も気づかないit.Well、ふりをしていたとして、死体に扮した男はその後、座っているそれがどこにあるか。しばらくすると、ドライバは騒音を聞き、他の人が静かにするよう指示します。男は何も言っていないだ。その後、ドライバは自身が位置を微調整し感じている。そこで彼は、オフに他の人に伝えます。他の人は彼が眠ることに彼に言う。その後、ドライバーは何かが彼の足に触れる感じ、そして死体の手が滑っていたことを表示するために、下に見えるので、彼はそれを動かすために行くが、それは暖かいものを発見。そこで彼は、その上発言し、死体はコートのために彼に感謝。そのため、2つのボディスナッチャーが暴走する彼らの犠牲に二つのいたずら者が笑いながら。

TRANSLATION

Two men were digging up a body to sell it. Well, they put the corpse into the back of their cart and decide to stop at a pub to get a drink. They dress up the corpse and put it in the driver seat to make it look alive. Then they go in the pub. But two more men come out and they greet the corpse, thinking that the guy's alive. Obviously they get no response, so they took offense and one of them nudged the driver to get a response. The two men sober up seeing the corpse, and then have an idea. One of them dresses in the clothes of the corpse, then they hide the body and the second man in the back of the cart. The man dressed as the corpse then sits as the corpse had been pretending to be it.Well, the body-snatchers come out of the pub and don't notice anything different so they get on the cart and continue on their way leaving the corpse where it is. After some time, the driver hears a noise and tells the other man to be quiet. The man says he didn't say anything. Then the driver feels himself nudged. So he tells the other man off. The other man tells him to let him sleep. Then the driver feels something touch his leg, and looks down to see that the corpse' hand had slipped, so he goes to move it, but discovers it's warm. So he remarks on that and the corpse thanks him for the coat. So the two body-snatchers run away while the two pranksters laugh at their expense.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent that aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, Weasel Chick, Revenant666, dragonsroar, foxdude33, FallenLex, Soelle, Akihiro Asamoto, Corvin, Emo-GothFreak,Cheeseeatingsurrenderrat, silentscream16, 7sasukesprincess7, Hanajimaa, BrokenAngel363, Spyrofan1, DragonPrincess19, Zakmaniac, The-One-Who-Reads-The-HP-Books.

If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with the current conversation, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.

()()
(0.0)
c( uu)

Copy the bunny to your presentation to help him achieve world domination, and come join the dark side. (We have cookies.)

/l、
(゚、 。 7
l、 ヽ
じしf,)ノ

Yaaaay kitty!

This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your signature or profile to help him gain world domination.

If you love thinking of Anti-Cosmo as your godparent, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think the kids should lay off of Lucky and let him have his Lucky Charms in peace, copy and past this onto your profile

Pirates are cool. The color blue reminds me of chocolate. if two gooses are geese, would two mooses be meese? and if two foots are feet, wouldn't it be two feetball? walrus! AHAHAHAHA!! LUKE I AM YOUR FATHA!! i hate lacrosse. don't ask why. i want some toast. DO THE BARTMAN! SHOOBUS MY WOOBUS and SHOOP DA WOOP, baby! SUPER KITTY, AWAY!! BLUE GREEN AHHH! KITTY CATS WILL RULE THE WORLD!!I LIKE YAMI YUGI! If you are random, copy and paste this, then add something randomE express themself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a bf/gf to complete him/her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the kids who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone- Bearhug946, EdwardCullenEqualsLife, Stephanie Deux,Randomenated-Cullen!, MiniBellaSwan, Jayleen-Cullen-Whitlock-Hale, Emmett or Edward, Volleyballgurl09, Radr180, Linzerj, Zakmaniac,I CALL ENGLAND HE IS MINE

If you quote along with your favorite shows and love doing that, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've seen the colours pink and green and suddenly think of Cosmo and Wanda, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you had ever gotten writer's block in a sudden and random moment, copy this to your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot.

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself.

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else.

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs..."

You live off of sugar and caffine

People think you're insane.

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week one week, and then disappear off the face of the earth the next.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start laughing for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

Copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions.

DO NOT READ THIS NEXT LITTLE PART OR YOU WILL REGRET IT DIRELY!! (Especially if you have no true profile!) :O

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted "Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

Hehehehe...

NORMAL PEOPLE vs. YU-GI-OH FANS

normal people: Rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Would rather rely on Ishizu for future predictions.
normal people: Say "OMG!"
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Say "Oh my RA! (OMR!)"
normal people: Say "Shut up or I'll tell on you!"
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Say "Shut up or I'll steal Seto's check book and blame it on you!"
normal people: Think bad guys are very ugly.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Know a lot better and absolutely love Bakura and Marik.
normal people: When being chased yell "HELP ME SOMEBODY!"
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: When being chased yell "HELP ME ATEM!"
normal people: Get nervous or scared during thunderstorms.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Know that there might be a duel between Yami Yugi and Yami Bakura, and that one of them might be shirtless.
normal people: Would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Would go directly to Domino City or find a way to Ancient Egypt.
normal people: Would be scared when they see people in purple cloaks chasing them.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Just know that Marik sends his rare hunters to be sure that you are fine.
normal people: Get freaked out when they see scary people on motorcycles.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Know a lot better and know that it is possibly Marik.
normal people: Think Yu-Gi-Oh is just a stupid children’s card game.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Know that Duel Monsters is the source of all happiness.
normal people: Solve their problems by suing each other.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Solve their problems by playing a children's card game.
normal people: Don't believe in real magic.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Are always watchful for chances to be sent to the Shadow Realm.
normal people: Don't believe in the apocalypse.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Laugh and show them Zorc and/or Season 0 Mokuba.

Put this
on your profile
if you support
the ORIGINAL
YUGIOH!!
ORIGINAL YUGIOH
(meaning not GX or 5Ds!)
((Crappy little spin-off shows!!))

Forever Frozen

Sitting on the window sill is a picture of a boy
His eyes are sparkling with innocence and joy
The smile on his face could have lighten up a room
And his laugh of amazement could have brought a smile to your face.
His hair of chestnut is blowing in the breeze
While his mommy is in the background
Arms stretched out and on her knees
Her face mirrored of the look on the boy
Both are smiling and there eyes glittered with joy

Now as the days have passed the boy no longer smiles
And the mother is all but tears
His laugh doesn't fill the air no more
As his mother cries and mourns.
He was young only the small age of three
His face of an angel all peaceful and light,

As they lower his coffin into the ground
Everyone thinks back to the days before
The boy whose eyes sparkled with joy
Whose smile could fill you with love with one look
Is forever frozen in the photograph

by Darkened-Sun

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile

If you have ever slapped yourself on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile..

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy and paste this in your profile

If you've ever asked a question that the person your asking couldn't possibly know the answer to, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile

If you've ever pulled on a door that said push or vise versa, copy and paste this into you profile.

If you consider your family strange, but love them anyway, put this into your profile.

If you have way too many of these things, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever walked into a wall, copy this onto your profile

If you like Subway, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever fallen out of a chair backwards...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you've ever sung a song you hated so much, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever fallen down the stairs and laughed because it's something Bella would do, copy and paste this onto your profile.

I f you wish you could have a big brother like Emmett Cullen, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this on your profile.

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back

Having the love of your life say, "we can still be friends", is like having your

dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them. (hell yea!)

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

"It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile, but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone."

"It doesnt matter whether the glass is half empty or half full,just drink it and get it over with."

"I'm not afraid of Death.What's he gonna do,kill me?"

You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?

He who laughs last didn't get it

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter

"I'm not afraid of death i'm afraid of something much worse... my mother"

Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you. Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator. Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized. Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there? Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.

Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

And this is how I remember Harry Potter, Wizardry World in daily life...

when people talk of time, I remember Hermione, the time-turner.

when people talk of wounds and scars, I remember Harry, his connection.

when I see flames, I remember Ron, his red hair.

when people talk of imprisonment, I remember Sirius Black, his time in Azkaban.

when people talk of death, I remember Lily and James, their love for Harry.

when people talk of killers, I remember ol' Volders, his evilness.

when people talk of gangs, I remember death-eaters, their mean-ness.

when people talk of bravery, I remember Moody, his protection.

when people talk of ferrets, I remember Draco, his after-math fear of ferrets.

when people talk of betrayal, I remember Peter, his way of selling the Potters.

When people talk of principles, I remember Percy, his prim-ness.

and lastly, when people ask me if I believe in magic...

I SAY YES!

everyday, whenever I get a chance to wish upon anything, I wish that...

I BECOME A WITCH!

I'm not old enough to go to Hogwarts yet. Because next year, I'll get my letter.

BECAUSE I'M A SCARY WITCH WHO GETS HER LETTERS!

and here are some of the quotes I made myself...

They say I'm annoying. I take it as a Compliment.

They say I'm mean. I say that I'm not, I'm EVIL!

They say I'm crazy. I say that better crazy and unique, than boring and normal like you.

Those who scorn us writers are just have no creativity.

People with no creativity have nothing.

I'm a nerd- deal with it.

STOP GLOBAL WARMING... it's melting my chocolate.

MY PLEDGE TO HP

You say Twilight

I say Harry Potter

You say vampires

I say wizards

You say Jacob Black

I say Sirius Black

you say Team Edward

I say Team Potter

You say Robert Patteson

I'll say "is Cedric Diggory"

You think Bella and Edward are the perfect dream couple?

I think that's Harry and Hermione

You say Edward

I'll say Harry, now STUPEFY

(O.o )

This is Bunny.

Copy Bunny into your profile to help him on his way to world domination.

IF YOU SAY POTTER IS BETTER THAN CULLEN, NO DOUBT, I THINK YOU ARE AWESOME, FELLOW POTTERHOLIC

You are human. It is paper. You will always win. this is for you if you think origami is hard!

I'm a Potterholic. If you aren't, I think you are stupid.

BOY: you hit like a girl. GIRL: and maybe you would too if you hit a little bit hard- nah, who am I kidding?

WIZARDS ARE SUPREME. YOU THINK NOT, THEN HERE...

AVADA KADAVRA!

Do you believe me now!? HUH!? HUH!? *pokes* oops, you're dead. Sorry!

I. Will. Kill. You. If. You. Sit. On. That. Box. If you read that with pauses in between, C&P!

Say that wizards are better than vampires or else I'll Avada Kadavra your bum off. NOW SAY IT!

Put this on your Profile.

If you Love Music

(o)

(\_/) PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE
('.') IF YOU HATE
(")_(") ANIMAL CRUELTY

x

x XxXxXxXxXxX

x xXxPotterxXx... RuLEs.

x XxXxXxXxXxX

x

"Always give 100% percent at work...12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday" ;D

"Cinderella walked on broken glass, Sleeping Beauty let a life time pass, Belle fell in love with a beast, Jasmine chose a poor man, Ariel spent her life on land. We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person prefectly"

I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.

I've heard that it's possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it.

I asked my teacher if I'd get in trouble for something I didn't do. She said of course not, so I told her I didn't do my homework

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells."

It's you and me against the world...we attack at dawn.

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions.

- I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

- Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

One out of four people is insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you

"What you're looking for is always in the last place you look

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

When there's a will, I want to be in it.

"It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt-then it's hilarious!"

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

My imaginary friend thinks that you have serious problems.

If a parent/guardian asks you, "What did you learn at school today?" answer, "I learnt how to survive it."

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Hey, all you people who have survived Alice, Let me give you some great news...

Alice is on a Quest! her goal is to annoy different Harry Potter characters to the bursting point. First is Voldy, of course. Then I think I'll do the Marauders.

Keep tuned in my writing for Laughter until death! (or death by Alice...)

Harry Voldemort, Voldemort Cedric, and Cedric = Edward. So, Harry Voldemort Edward. Therefore, Harry Edward. So, Harry Potter Twilight. If you agree with this form of logic, copy and paste this into your profile.

This is a tribute to all who died fighting Tom Marvolo Riddle Aka: Voldemort

First off, I must say, Rest in Peace:

James and Lily Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black (The True Mauraders) Nymphadora Tonks, Ted Tonks,Professor Snape, Fred Weasley, Colin Creavy, Dobby, Hedwig, Regulus Black, Charity Burbadge, Mad-Eye Moody, Cedric Diggory, Grindewald, Sturgis Podmore, Gregorvitch, Benjy Fenwick, Edgar Bones, Gideon and Fabian Prewitt, Dorcas Meadows, Marlene McKinnon, Caradoc Dearborn, and all the brave souls that were lost to the War against Voldemort. May you all rest in Peace, and Remember you're never forgotten

To James and Lily,

Who died at the beginning,

To Remus and Dora,

Who will never know their son,

To Severus,

Who isn't actually all bad,-actually said Peter, but i still hate him.

To Dumbledore,

Who was as human as Harry, but much more manipulative

To Sirius,

who was punished for what he didn't do

To the hundreds that died needlessly,

To the many that died 'for the greater good',

To these brave souls I raise my glass,

May they forever Rest In Peace... (from the profile of 14hp1 and An Artists Account)

In Remembrance

…In Remembrance to Severus Snape….

….A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor…

...without all the red and gold crap.

…In Remembrance to Fred Weasley…

…Who fought bravely to the very end….

…And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half…

…And will loyally await his soul mate and brother…

… with many jokes…

...he's got forever to think of them, right?

…In Remembrance to Dobby…

…Who was more free and full of love…

...than any elf, and most humans.

….In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin….

...the last real Marauderer...

…who was not just a wonderful father…

….a incredible husband and brave hero…

...as well as a freakin' awesome werewolf.

….In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks…

…who died for ‘the greater good’…

...and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora.

…In Remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody….

…who’s motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive…

...and scared the crap out of some kids too.

…In Remembrance of Tom Marvelo Riddle a.k.a. Voldemort….

…who was pretty cool, and cute when he was younger…

…but who got his ass thoroughly kicked in the end

…In Remembrance of Albus Dumbledore…

…whose past and wisdom confused us…

…whose seeming betrayal shocked us…

…but actually who turned out to be an okay guy in the end...(NOT!)

...despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing.

In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange…

… because it’s was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra! (No, she didn't!)

She deserved everything she got and more. (She did not!)

…In Remembrance of Colin Creevey…

…who we really didn’t know too well…

…but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war…

…so he must’ve done something good…

…besides stalking Harry.

…In Remembrance of Hedwig…

...Harry's actual first friend…

...who lived and died soaring.(from athe profile of 14hp1 and An Artists Account)

Why did you have to die?

Why did you have to change the world with your murdering pen, Jo?

Why?

Normal girls slap, insane ones punch, kick, break bones, kill... you get my drift.

List ten Harry Potter Characters...

1. James Potter I

2. Lily Evans

3. Remus Lupin

4. Sirius Black

5. Tonks

6. Dumbledore

7. Aberforth

8. Albus Potter

9. Minerva McGonagall

10. Rita Skeeter

1) Have you ever read a 5/10 fic before?

Tonks and Rita? never, please, never

2) do you think 3 is hot?

Nah, but as a younger one he was nice...

3) what if 6 got 1 pregnant?

not happening, please Merlin...

4) do you recall any fics about 9?

Not really

5) would 7/2 make a good ship?

no, Merlin, what's wrong with you people?

6) 4/8 or 4/9?

sirius/ albus or sirius/ minerva? I'd say sirius/ minerva, because atleast it's not slash.

7) what if seven found 3 and 8 in a relationship?

either indifferent or freaked out...

8) make a summary for a 2/8 fic?

Lily is hurt, having fled from James. she goes to Hogwarts, and finds a depressed Slytherin Albus. comforting each other, they must pick up the pieces of their worlds.

9) Is there a 4/10 romance fluff fic?

with ships now, I wouldn't be surprised...

10) suggest a title for a 5/10 Hurt/ comfort fic.

Shattered Worlds? I dunno...

INSANITY QUIZ!

I have made up this Insanity Quiz. please copy/paste to your profile. answer with yes and no answers.

1) Have you ever taught a parrot, or attempted to, teach a parrot HP spells?

Yes

2) Have you ever had a staring contest with a Parrot/fish/snake?

yep. The snake won.

3) do you believe in a difference of insanity and stupidity?

Yes

4) Do you mostly hate things because others think it's cool?

yes. there's vampires, werewolves, older Remus...

5) Do you like talking in british accents because no one can understand them?

yeah. i've got a great accent...

6) Do you decipher alot of stuff to mean that you are a witch?

yes. Duh. OBVIOUSLY!

7) have you ever wondered if there's wi-fi on the top of the Eiffel Tower?

i think there is. I wish so, so I can live there...yes

8) Are you in love with a character from harry Potter?

yes. But I'm not telling you who...

9) would you go whooping and cheering if Justinette Beaver (Justin Bieber, who is a complete girl), Robert Pattinson, and Taylor lauthner jumped off a cliff onto POINTY rocks?

HALLELUJAH!

10) Have you ever wondered weather it's cold in a luggage compartment?

yes. and i would know if those bloody boys didn't crowd around it so i couldn't stick my hand in!

RESULTS!

if you answered yes to 1-3 answers... You have to work on your insanity, you're too NORMAL!

If you answered yes to 4-7... you're okay, but you need to top, unless you prefer BALANCED!

If you answered yes to 8-10... Congrats, You are Certifiably INSANE!

I'M 8-10! ME IS INSANE!

Join the army, visit exotic places, meet strange people then kill them.

"Be a loser because 'cool' is overrated"

"Well behaved women rarely make history"

"Fail with Honour rather than Succeed by Fraud" wow, that's deep.

If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

What disease did cured ham have?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do alarm clocks "go off" when they start making noise?

Why do we yell "Heads up!" when we should be yelling "Heads down!"?

How can something be both "new" and "improved"?

Why do we shut up, but quiet down?

How did the "Keep Off the Grass" sign get there in the first place?

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

There's a speed of light, So what's the speed of dark?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

If you can't beat them, confuse them.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Life is just one bad thing after another. Unless it's a bunch of bad things all at once.

If you get good grades and still don't know anything at all copy this onto your profile

First law of science: don't spit into the wind

May your life be like toilet paper - long and useful!

theres always a light at the end of a tunnel just pray its not a train!

take my advice i dont use it anyway

Jealousy is a wasted emotion. Which is why I recycle!

What does really suck? A giraffe with pain in his neck

Don't be open-minded, your brains might fall out

Homework? Do I pay school money to work at home!?

Smile and the world smiles with you. Fart and you stand alone

When cows laugh, does milk come out of their nose

There are some that are wise and others that are otherwise

You'll never get rid of a bad temper by losing it!

1 out of 6 people are insane. except when you're friends with me and my friends, then 6 out of 6 people are insane.

Reality is more fun when you make it up

Words may hurt me, but sticks and stones will bounce off my force field

So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?

I've heard that its possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it.

When in doubt, make up words!

Ask no questions and I will tell no lies.

You say I'm not cool. Cool is just another word for cold. If I'm not Cold then I'm Hot. I know I'm Hot. Thank You for embracing it!

I'm not insensitive, I just dont care

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder.

What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

On a scale of one to awesome, that was purple.

"Help! I've fallen and I can't -- Hey! Nice carpet!"

I'm not afraid of death. What's it gonna to do? Kill me?

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Rules are like paperclips. Meant to hold things together, fun to bend, and easy to twist out of shape.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true.

Eat right, exercise, die anyway.

Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.

"At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote."

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop

If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights do make a left

Everybody makes mistakes, thats why they put erasers on pencils

The road to success is always under construction

By the time you read this, you've already read it

The higher you are, the farther you fall... so keep yur job at burger king!

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

"Pretty girls turn heads. Me and my girls break necks" XD

"Brilliant brunette with many blonde moments"

Old enough to know better, but to young not to care"

"Always give 100% percent at work...12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday" ;D

"Cinderella walked on broken glass, Sleeping Beauty let a life time pass, Belle fell in love with a beast, Jasmine chose a poor man, Ariel spent her life on land. We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly"

"Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot your revenge"

We know Kung Fu...And 20 other dangerous words

Girl 1 - "Heyyy! That's my EX-Boyfriend!" Girl 2 - "Relaaaaaax! I'm just recycling!"

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

I am generally very brave. Today, I just happen to have a headache.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history

I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.

I've heard that it's possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it.

I asked my teacher if I'd get in trouble for something I didn't do. She said of course not, so I told her I didn't do my homework

"We may not make good decisions But hell, we make good stories."

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells."

It's you and me against the world...we attack at dawn.

Being mature is overrated.

Slinky Escalator = Endless fun!

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realise you're wrong.

I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

Have you ever been walking down the street and realised that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

Bad decisions make good stories.

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

Gryffindor (The biggest heros in HP history as far as we know):

1. Welcome to Gryffindor, a Weasley has probably slept in your bed.

2. Gryffindors: Brave to the point of Idiocy.

3. Gryffindor: Because we blur the line between bold and stupid every time.

4. The beautiful, the brave and the bold.

5. Gryffindor: I'll kick your ass.

6. I'm in Gryffindor, you're in Gryffindor- let's hug!!

7. Gryffindor: because we get enough exercise just pushing our luck.

8. No excuses, rule breaking is customary.

9. Gryffindors are attention whores.

Slytherin (The Junior Death Eaters):

1. We aren't all evil... yeah, we are.

2. Cunning and Ambition: Slytherin.

3. Go ahead, be a little naughty.

4. Slytherin: We have chained boys in the dungeons.

5. Slytherin: Because our common room is underwater (and that's cool).

6. It's not that we aren't better than you (except it totally is).

7. Why be normal? Or good?

8. We are Junior Death Eaters. Deal with it.

9. Slytherin: means never having to say you're sorry.

10. Seriously evil wizard coming through.

11. I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest.

12. Slytherins do it on Snape's desk.

13. Voldemort needs prision bitches.

14. Because real friends help you Incendio the bodies.

15. Property of the Half-Blood Prince.

16. We're only wearing black until something darker comes along.

17. Don't hate us beacuse we're beautiful, hate us because we kick your ass at everything.

18. Never wound what can kill you.

Hufflepuff (Some of the best people you'll ever meet):

1. I'm planning your death but in a happy way.

2. Brace youself- I'm going to hug you.

3. Nobody ever suspects the Hufflepuff.

4. You may be smarter, cooler, and better, but we still think you suck.

5. You think we're nice? That's cute...

6. Nowhere in the song does it say we're nice.

7. The love of a Hufflepuff was the only love good enough for Neville.

8. Hufflepuff: We kill you with smiles and rainbows.

9. All we got was Cedric... and that didn't turn out so good, did it?

10. Hufflepuffs kick ass too.

11. Hufflepuff: Formerly known as the party house.

12. Hufflepuffs know how to party.

13. Hufflepuff: We have cupcakes. Need we say more?

14. Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.

15. Hufflepuffs are Particularly good finders.

Ravenclaw (The smartest house with the only ones who don't blow themselves up):

Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure.

1. I don't need romance, I have goldfish.

2. A room without books is like a body without a soul.

3. I can kill you with my brain.

4. Ravenclaw pride. Be afraid.

5. It's not that we are smarter than you (except it totally is).

6. I'm a Ravenclaw, which clearly means I am elligable to boast about my intellegence level in your face.

7. Ravenclaw: beacuse we know every insult in the book. (Get it, their smart and they know every insult in the book!)

8. Ravenclaw: geeks shall inherit the earth.

9. Ravenclaw: Dangerously over-educated. (Seriously over-educated.)

10. Ravenclaw: Tact enough for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.

11. Ravenclaw: because everyone else is just dumb

. 50 ways to annoy voldemort»reviews

she's outrageous! she funny! she positively loves annoying voldie! and she's...ALICE! R&R if you love bothering people to the bursting point! it may be over-used, but new ways! c'mon, you know you want to read it!

Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 50 - Words: 9,300 - Reviews: 122 - Updated: 6-26-11 - Published: 2-28-11 - Voldemort & OC - Complete not my story but its halariouse

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, she asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to cry.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.

The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.

When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked her for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her.

She asked if they would ask the man one question.

She was curious as to why he had not attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

You're never alone...

93 Percent Of the people who read this won't repost it.

Don't be one of those people.

Believe in God and he'll always be there to protect you.

And this is how I remember Harry Potter, Wizardry World in daily life...

when people talk of time, I remember Hermione, the time-turner.

when people talk of wounds and scars, I remember Harry, his connection.

when I see flames, I remember Ron, his red hair.

when people talk of imprisonment, I remember Sirius Black, his time in Azkaban.

when people talk of death, I remember Lily and James, their love for Harry.

when people talk of killers, I remember ol' Volders, his evilness.

when people talk of gangs, I remember death-eaters, their mean-ness.

when people talk of bravery, I remember Moody, his protection.

when people talk of ferrets, I remember Draco, his after-math fear of ferrets.

when people talk of betrayal, I remember Peter, his way of selling the Potters.

When people talk of principles, I remember Percy, his prim-ness.

and lastly, when people ask me if I believe in magic...

I SAY YES!

everyday, whenever I get a chance to wish upon anything, I wish that...

I BECOME A WITCH!

I'm not old enough to go to Hogwarts yet. Because next year, I'll get my letter.

BECAUSE I'M A SCARY WITCH WHO GETS HER LETTERS!

and here are some of the quotes I made myself...

They say I'm annoying. I take it as a Compliment.

They say I'm mean. I say that I'm not, I'm EVIL!

They say I'm crazy. I say that better crazy and unique, than boring and normal like you.

Those who scorn us writers are just have no creativity.

People with no creativity have nothing.

I'm a nerd- deal with it.

STOP GLOBAL WARMING... it's melting my chocolate.

MY PLEDGE TO HP

You say Twilight

I say Harry Potter

You say vampires

I say wizards

You say Jacob Black

I say Sirius Black

you say Team Edward

I say Team Potter

You say Robert Pattison

I'll say "is Cedric Diggory"

You think Bella and Edward are the perfect dream couple?

I think that's James and Lily

You say Edward

I'll say Harry, now STUPEFY

( l )
(O.o )

This is Bunny.

Copy Bunny into your profile to help him on his way to world domination.

IF YOU SAY POTTER IS BETTER THAN CULLEN, NO DOUBT, I THINK YOU ARE AWESOME, FELLOW POTTERHOLIC

You are human. It is paper. You will always win. this is for you if you think origami is hard!

I'm a Potterholic. If you aren't, I think you are stupid.

BOY: you hit like a girl. GIRL: and maybe you would too if you hit a little bit hard- nah, who am I kidding?

WIZARDS ARE SUPREME. YOU THINK NOT, THEN HERE...

AVADA KADAVRA!

Do you believe me now!? HUH!? HUH!? *pokes* oops, you're dead. Sorry!

I. Will. Kill. You. If. You. Sit. On. That. Box. If you read that with pauses in between, C&P!

Say that wizards are better than vampires or else I'll Avada Kadavra your bum off. NOW SAY IT!

Put this on your Profile.

If you Love Music

(o)

(\_/) PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE

('.') IF YOU HATE

(")_(") ANIMAL CRUELTY

x

x XxXxXxXxXxX

x xXxPotterxXx... RuLEs.

x XxXxXxXxXxX

x

"Always give 100% percent at work...12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday" ;D

"Cinderella walked on broken glass, Sleeping Beauty let a life time pass, Belle fell in love with a beast, Jasmine chose a poor man, Ariel spent her life on land. We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person prefectly"

I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.

I've heard that it's possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it.

I asked my teacher if I'd get in trouble for something I didn't do. She said of course not, so I told her I didn't do my homework

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells."

It's you and me against the world...we attack at dawn.

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

Have you ever been walking down the street and realised that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions.

- I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

- Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

One out of four people is insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you

"What you're looking for is always in the last place you look

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

When there's a will, I want to be in it.

"It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt-then it's hilarious!"

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

My imaginary friend thinks that you have serious problems.

If a parent/guardian asks you, "What did you learn at school today?" answer, "I learnt how to survive it."

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Hey, all you people who have survived Alice, Let me give you some great news...

Alice is on a Quest! her goal is to annoy different Harry Potter characters to the bursting point. First is Voldy, of course. Then I think I'll do the Marauders.

Keep tuned in my writing for Laughter until death! (or death by Alice...)

Harry Voldemort, Voldemort Cedric, and Cedric = Edward. So, Harry Voldemort Edward. Therefore, Harry Edward. So, Harry Potter Twilight. If you agree with this form of logic, copy and paste this into your profile.

This is a tribute to all who died fighting Tom Marvolo Riddle Aka: Voldemort

First off, I must say, Rest in Peace:

James and Lily Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black (The True Mauraders) Nymphadora Tonks, Ted Tonks,Professor Snape, Fred Weasley, Colin Creavy, Dobby, Hedwig, Regulus Black, Charity Burbadge, Mad-Eye Moody, Cedric Diggory, Grindewald, Sturgis Podmore, Gregorvitch, Benjy Fenwick, Edgar Bones, Gideon and Fabian Prewitt, Dorcas Meadows, Marlene McKinnon, Caradoc Dearborn, and all the brave souls that were lost to the War against Voldemort. May you all rest in Peace, and Remember you're never forgotten

To James and Lily,

Who died at the beginning,

To Remus and Dora,

Who will never know their son,

To Severus,

Who isn't actually all bad,-actually said Peter, but i still hate him.

To Dumbledore,

Who was as human as Harry,but more manipulative

To Sirius,

who was punished for what he didn't do

To the hundreds that died needlessly,

To the many that died 'for the greater good',

To these brave souls I raise my glass,

May they forever Rest In Peace... (from the profile of 14hp1 and An Artists Account)

In Remembrance

…In Remembrance to Severus Snape….

….A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor…

...without all the red and gold crap.

…In Remembrance to Fred Weasley…

…Who fought bravely to the very end….

…And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half…

…And will loyally await his soul mate and brother…

… with many jokes…

...he's got forever to think of them, right?

…In Remembrance to Dobby…

…Who was more free and full of love…

...than any elf, and most humans.

….In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin….

...the last real Marauderer...

…who was not just a wonderful father…

….a incredible husband and brave hero…

...as well as a freakin' awesome werewolf.

….In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks…

…who died for ‘the greater good’…

...and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora.

…In Remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody….

…who’s motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive…

...and scared the crap out of some kids too.

…In Remembrance of Tom Marvelo Riddle a.k.a. Voldemort….

…who was pretty cool, and cute when he was younger…

…but who got his ass thoroughly kicked in the end

…In Remembrance of Albus Dumbledore…

…whose past and wisdom confused us…

…whose seeming betrayal shocked us…

…but actually who turned out to be an okay guy in the end...(BUT I STILL HATE HIM)

...despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing.

In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange…

… because it’s was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra! (No, she didn't!)

She deserved everything she got and more. (She did not!)

…In Remembrance of Colin Creevey…

…who we really didn’t know too well…

…but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war…

…so he must’ve done something good…

…besides stalking Harry.

…In Remembrance of Hedwig…

...Harry's actual first friend…

...who lived and died soaring.(from athe profile of 14hp1 and An Artists Account)

Why did you have to die?

Why did you have to change the world with your murdering pen, Jo?

Why?

Normal girls slap, insane ones punch, kick, break bones, kill... you get my drift.

List ten Harry Potter Characters...

1. James Potter I

2. Lily Evans

3. Remus Lupin

4. Sirius Black

5. Tonks

6. Dumbledore

7. Aberforth

8. Albus Potter

9. Minerva McGonagall

10. Rita Skeeter

1) Have you ever read a 5/10 fic before?

Tonks and Rita? never, please, never

2) do you think 3 is hot?

Nah, but as a younger one he was nice...

3) what if 6 got 1 pregnant?

not happening, please Merlin...

4) do you recall any fics about 9?

Not really

5) would 7/2 make a good ship?

no, Merlin, what's wrong with you people?

6) 4/8 or 4/9?

sirius/ albus or sirius/ minerva? I'd say sirius/ minerva, because atleast it's not slash.

7) what if seven found 3 and 8 in a relationship?

either indifferent or freaked out...

8) make a summary for a 2/8 fic?

Lily is hurt, having fled from James. she goes to Hogwarts, and finds a depressed Slytherin Albus. comforting each other, they must pick up the pieces of their worlds.

9) Is there a 4/10 romance fluff fic?

with ships now, I wouldn't be surprised...

10) suggest a title for a 5/10 Hurt/ comfort fic.

Shattered Worlds? I dunno...

INSANITY QUIZ!

I have made up this Insanity Quiz. please copy/paste to your profile. answer with yes and no answers.

1) Have you ever taught a parrot, or attempted to, teach a parrot HP spells?

Yes

2) Have you ever had a staring contest with a Parrot/fish/snake?

yep. The parrot won.

3) do you believe in a difference of insanity and stupidity?

Yes

4) Do you mostly hate things because others think it's cool?

yes. there's vampires, werewolves, older Remus...

5) Do you like talking in british accents because no one can understand them?

yeah. i've got a great accent...

6) Do you decipher alot of stuff to mean that you are a witch?

yes. Duh. OBVIOUSLY!

7) have you ever wondered if there's wi-fi on the top of the Eiffel Tower?

i think there is. I wish so, so I can live there...yes

8) Are you in love with a character from harry Potter?

yes. But I'm not telling you who...

9) would you go whooping and cheering if Justinette Beaver (Justin Bieber, who is a complete girl), Robert Pattinson, and Taylor lauthner jumped off a cliff onto POINTY rocks?

HALLELUJAH!

10) Have you ever wondered weather it's cold in a luggage compartment?

yes. and i would know if those bloody boys didn't crowd around it so i couldn't stick my hand in!

RESULTS!

if you answered yes to 1-3 answers... You have to work on your insanity, you're too NORMAL!

If you answered yes to 4-7... you're okay, but you need to top, unless you prefer BALANCED!

If you answered yes to 8-10... Congrats, You are Certifiably INSANE!

I'M 8-10! ME IS INSANE!

Join the army, visit exotic places, meet strange people then kill them.

"Be a loser because 'cool' is overrated"

"Well behaved women rarely make history"

"Fail with Honour rather than Succeed by Fraud" wow, that's deep.

If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

What disease did cured ham have?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do alarm clocks "go off" when they start making noise?

Why do we yell "Heads up!" when we should be yelling "Heads down!"?

How can something be both "new" and "improved"?

Why do we shut up, but quiet down?

How did the "Keep Off the Grass" sign get there in the first place?

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

If you can't beat them, confuse them.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Life is just one bad thing after another. Unless it's a bunch of bad things all at once.

If you get good grades and still don't know anything at all copy this onto your profile

First law of science: don't spit into the wind

May your life be like toilet paper - long and useful!

theres always a light at the end of a tunnel just pray its not a train!

take my advice i dont use it anyway

Jealousy is a wasted emotion. Which is why I recycle!

What does really suck? A giraffe with pain in his neck

Don't be open-minded, your brains might fall out

Homework? Do I pay school money to work at home!?

Smile and the world smiles with you. Fart and you stand alone

When cows laugh, does milk come out of their nose

There are some that are wise and others that are otherwise

You'll never get rid of a bad temper by losing it!

1 out of 6 people are insane. except when you're friends with me and my friends, then 6 out of 6 people are insane.

Reality is more fun when you make it up

Words may hurt me, but sticks and stones will bounce off my force field

So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?

I've heard that its possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it.

When in doubt, make up words!

Ask no questions and I will tell no lies.

You say I'm not cool. Cool is just another word for cold. If I'm not Cold then I'm Hot. I know I'm Hot. Thank You for embracing it!

I'm not insensitive, I just dont care

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder.

What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

On a scale of one to awesome, that was purple.

"Help! I've fallen and I can't -- Hey! Nice carpet!"

I'm not afraid of death. What's it gonna to do? Kill me?

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Rules are like paperclips. Meant to hold things together, fun to bend, and easy to twist out of shape.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true.

Eat right, exercise, die anyway.

Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.

"At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote."

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop

If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights do make a left

Everybody makes mistakes, thats why they put erasers on pencils

The road to success is always under construction

By the time you read this, you've already read it

The higher you are, the farther you fall... so keep yur job at burger king!

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

"Pretty girls turn heads. Me and my girls break necks" XD

"Brilliant brunette with many blonde moments"

Old enough to know better, but to young not to care"

"Always give 100% percent at work...12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday" ;D

"Cinderella walked on broken glass, Sleeping Beauty let a life time pass, Belle fell in love with a beast, Jasmine chose a poor man, Ariel spent her life on land. We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly"

"Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot your revenge"

We know Kung Fu...And 20 other dangerous words

Girl 1 - "Heyyy! That's my EX-Boyfriend!" Girl 2 - "Relaaaaaax! I'm just recycling!"

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

I am generally very brave. Today, I just happen to have a headache.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history

I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.

I've heard that it's possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it.

I asked my teacher if I'd get in trouble for something I didn't do. She said of course not, so I told her I didn't do my homework

"We may not make good decisions But hell, we make good stories."

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells."

It's you and me against the world...we attack at dawn.

Being mature is overrated.

Slinky Escalator = Endless fun!

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realise you're wrong.

I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

Have you ever been walking down the street and realised that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

Bad decisions make good stories.

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

this next one is for ALL people who support your country's troops

you stay up for 16 hours. we stay up for days on end.

you take a warm shower to help you wake up. we go a week without running water.

you complain of a 'headache' and call in sick. we get shot at as others are hit and we keep moving forward.

you talk about your buddies that aren't with you. we know we may never see any of ours again.

you complain about how hot it is. we wear our heavy gear, not daring to take off our helmet to wipe our forehead.

you get mad at your waiter for getting your order wrong. we don't get to eat today.

your mad that class got held over 5 minutes. we're told we will be held over an extra 2 months.

you roll your eyes when your baby cries. he gets a letter with pictures of his new baby and wonders if they'll ever meet.

if you don't copy and paste this, something bad will happen to you. we'll see just how conceited you really are.

copy and paste this if you support your country's (or any country's) troops.

I JUST PASTED AN ANGEL ON MY PROFILE:)

Gryffindor (The biggest heros in HP history as far as we know):

1. Welcome to Gryffindor, a Weasley has probably slept in your bed.

2. Gryffindors: Brave to the point of Idiocy.

3. Gryffindor: Because we blur the line between bold and stupid every time.

4. The beautiful, the brave and the bold.

5. Gryffindor: I'll kick your ass.

6. I'm in Gryffindor, you're in Gryffindor- let's hug!!

7. Gryffindor: because we get enough exercise just pushing our luck.

8. No excuses, rule breaking is customary.

9. Gryffindors are attention whores.

Slytherin (The Junior Death Eaters):

1. We aren't all evil... yeah, we are.

2. Cunning and Ambition: Slytherin.

3. Go ahead, be a little naughty.

4. Slytherin: We have chained boys in the dungeons.

5. Slytherin: Because our common room is underwater (and that's cool).

6. It's not that we aren't better than you (except it totally is).

7. Why be normal? Or good?

8. We are Junior Death Eaters. Deal with it.

9. Slytherin: means never having to say you're sorry.

10. Seriously evil wizard coming through.

11. I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest.

12. Slytherins do it on Snape's desk.

13. Voldemort needs prision bitches.

14. Because real friends help you Incendio the bodies.

15. Property of the Half-Blood Prince.

16. We're only wearing black until something darker comes along.

17. Don't hate us beacuse we're beautiful, hate us because we kick your ass at everything.

18. Never wound what can kill you.

Hufflepuff (Some of the best people you'll ever meet):

1. I'm planning your death but in a happy way.

2. Brace youself- I'm going to hug you.

3. Nobody ever suspects the Hufflepuff.

4. You may be smarter, cooler, and better, but we still think you suck.

5. You think we're nice? That's cute...

6. Nowhere in the song does it say we're nice.

7. The love of a Hufflepuff was the only love good enough for Neville.

8. Hufflepuff: We kill you with smiles and rainbows.

9. All we got was Cedric... and that didn't turn out so good, did it?

10. Hufflepuffs kick ass too.

11. Hufflepuff: Formerly known as the party house.

12. Hufflepuffs know how to party.

13. Hufflepuff: We have cupcakes. Need we say more?

14. Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.

15. Hufflepuffs are Particularly good finders.

Ravenclaw (The smartest house with the only ones who don't blow themselves up):

Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure.

1. I don't need romance, I have goldfish.

2. A room without books is like a body without a soul.

3. I can kill you with my brain.

4. Ravenclaw pride. Be afraid.

5. It's not that we are smarter than you (except it totally is).

6. I'm a Ravenclaw, which clearly means I am elligable to boast about my intellegence level in your face.

7. Ravenclaw: beacuse we know every insult in the book. (Get it, their smart and they know every insult in the book!)

8. Ravenclaw: geeks shall inherit the earth.

9. Ravenclaw: Dangerously over-educated. (Seriously over-educated.)

10. Ravenclaw: Tact enough for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.

11. Ravenclaw: because everyone else is just dumb

. 50 ways to annoy voldemort»reviews

she's outrageous! she funny! she positively loves annoying voldie! and she's...ALICE! R&R if you love bothering people to the bursting point! it may be over-used, but new ways! c'mon, you know you want to read it!

Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 50 - Words: 9,300 - Reviews: 122 - Updated: 6-26-11 - Published: 2-28-11 - Voldemort & OC - Complete not my story but its halariouse

What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:

When she walks away from you mad, follow her When she stares at your mouth, kiss her When she pushes you or hits you, grab her and don’t let go When she starts cussing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her When she's quiet, she's thinking of how to say I love you. When she ignores you, give her your attention When she pulls away, pull her back When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful When you see her start crying, just hold her and don’t say a word When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind When she's scared, protect her When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her When she steals your favorite hat, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand When she grabs at your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does When she misses you, she's hurting inside When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go When she says she's ok, don’t believe it, talk with her, because 10 yrs later she'll remember you Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her, call her before you sleep and after you wake up Treat her like she's all that matters to you Tease her and let her tease you back Stay up all night with her when she's sick Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid Give her the world, let her wear your clothes When she's bored and sad, hang out with her, let her know she's important Kiss her in the pouring rain When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Whose ass am I kicking babe?"

Guys aren't Worth your tears, and the one that is won't make you cry.

WHY DO BOYS FALL IN LOVE WITH GIRLS?? aww this is so sweet even though im a girl!! :D

So sweet, please don't break! :)

1. They will always smell good even if it's just shampoo.

2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder.

3. How cute they look when they sleep.

4. The ease in which they fit into our arms .

5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world.

6. How cute they are when they eat.

7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while.

8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside.

9. The way they look good no matter what they wear.

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful girl on this earth.

11. How cute they are when they argue.

12. The way her hand always finds yours.

13. The way they smile.

14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight.

15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later...

16. The way that they kiss after you have had a fight.

17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you".

18. Actually...Just the way they kiss you...

19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry.

20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly.

21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt.

22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt (even though we don't admit it).

23. The way they say "I miss you".

24. The way you miss them.

25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore...

Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, no paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.

Random Poems By ME(BY YAYSARAHJ)

As the sun rises, the moon must go.As the stars grow brighter, the terror grows.

Once Again Once the moon lies down its headOnce the stars can go to bed Once the sun brings new days lightOnce again I draw out of sight Once again the new day comesOnce the song of new days sung Once the moon comes out to shineOnce the sun is out of line Once the stars can come with me Once again I return to thee Once again I try to see Once again I can go with thee Once I see you face to faceOnce I know you cant escape Once I turn to you and seeOnce I know that you love meLaughter Fear is not what it should be,Not the side of harmony. Love is side to hate and fear,Love is short but still is here. Joy is hope, and love, and life,Joy is smart to have inside. Laughter, smiles, joy, and fun,Laughter brings smiles to everyone.

Flowers

Pink flowers , or a Red Red rose,The choice is hard but now I know. Red flowers, or a Pink Pink rose,Now I know not ether so. My choice is clear on white as snow. One rose I say with babies breath,One white as snow with no regrets.

Emotions

Hope, love, joy, and fear,Emotions sad and glad are here. Tell me this or that but still,Emotions still are here until. Laughter, smiles, joy, and fun,Anger, fear, and sadness done.

As the sun rises, the moon must go.

As the stars grow brighter, the terror grows.

Once Again

Once the moon lies down its head

Once the stars can go to bed

Once the sun brings new days light

Once again I draw out of sight

Once again the new day comes

Once the song of new days sung

Once the moon comes out to shine

Once the sun is out of line

Once the stars can come with me

Once again I return to thee

Once again I try to see

Once again I can go with thee

Once I see you face to face

Once I know you cant escape

Once I turn to you and see

Once I know that you love me

Laughter

Fear is not what it should be,

Not the side of harmony.

Love is side to hate and fear,

Love is short but still is here.

Joy is hope, and love, and life,

Joy is smart to have inside.

Laughter, smiles, joy, and fun,

Laughter brings smiles to everyone.

Flowers

Pink flowers , or a Red Red rose,

The choice is hard but now I know.

Red flowers, or a Pink Pink rose,

Now I know not ether so.

My choice is clear on white as snow.

One rose I say with babies breath,

One white as snow with no regrets.

Emotions

Hope, love, joy, and fear,

Emotions sad and glad are here.

Tell me this or that but still,

Emotions still are here until.

Laughter, smiles, joy, and fun,

Anger, fear, and sadness done.

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run -- run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "SNAP!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds bottoms that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this!

Well, I guess I'm a best friend. Are you?

WHY DO BOYS FALL IN LOVE WITH GIRLS?? aww this is so sweet even though im a girl!! :D

So sweet, please don't break! :)

1. They will always smell good even if it's just shampoo.

2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder.

3. How cute they look when they sleep.

4. The ease in which they fit into our arms .

5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world.

6. How cute they are when they eat.

7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while.

8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside.

9. The way they look good no matter what they wear.

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful girl on this earth.

11. How cute they are when they argue.

12. The way her hand always finds yours.

13. The way they smile.

14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight.

15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later...

16. The way that they kiss after you have had a fight.

17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you".

18. Actually...Just the way they kiss you...

19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry.

20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly.

21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt.

22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt (even though we don't admit it).

23. The way they say "I miss you".

24. The way you miss them.

25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore...

Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed

The dead cannot cry out for justice; it is a duty of the living to do so for them.

'For God so loved the world he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world but to save the world through him.' -John 3:16-17.

'For it is by grace that you have been saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God, not by works, so that no one can boast.' Ephesians 2: 8-9

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, no paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.

Fear cannot touch me. It can only taunt me, it cannot take me away, just tell me where to go. I can either follow, or stay in my bed. I can hold on to the things that I know. The dead stay dead, they cannot walk. The shadows are darkness. And darkness can’t talk.’- Almost Here

When she walks away from you mad, follow her When she stare's at your mouth, Kiss her When she pushes you or hit's you, Grab her and dont let go When she start's cussing at you, Kiss her and tell her you love her When she's quiet, Ask her what's wrong When she ignore's you, Give her your attention When she pull's away, Pull her back When you see her at her worst, Tell her she's beautiful When you see her start crying, Just hold her and dont say a word When you see her walking, Sneak up and hug her waist from behind When she's scared, Protect her When she lay's her head on your shoulder, Tilt her head up and kiss her When she steal's your favorite hat, Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night When she tease's you, Tease her back and make her laugh When she doesnt answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay When she look's at you with doubt, Back yourself up When she say's that she like's you, she really does more than you could understand When she grab's at your hands, Hold her's and play with her fingers When she bump's into you, bump into her back and make her laugh When she tell's you a secret, keep it safe and untold When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does When she misses you, she's hurting inside When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything. When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her Call her before you sleep and after you wake up Treat her like she's all that matters to you. Tease her and let her tease you back Stay up all night with her when she's sick Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid Give her the world Let her wear your clothes When she's bored and sad, hang out with her Let her know she's important Kiss her in the pouring rain When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's ass am I kicking babe?" If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will : Call you. Kiss you. Love you. Text you

Text you.

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it’s gone.

I'm the kind of girl who would fall flat on my face, get up, laugh my head off, and say " That was fun!

“Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.”

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.”

Life isn’t passing me by, it’s trying to run me over.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

Did you know Sarcasm is your body’s natural defense against stupidity?

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hate that.

Paper may beat rock, but cannon ball make big hole in paper.

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Don’t follow me, I’m lost too.

This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob.

Definition of Your Mom: How to answer a question when you’re bored

Definition of homework: Some form of crude mind control still used in some primitive areas.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?

I’ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at people you hate.

It doesn’t matter whether the glass is half empty or half full just drink it and get it over with.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.

So what if we act like immature idiots? We’re having fun.

When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

Aren’t the ‘good things that come to those who wait’ just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out”?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Isn’t it funny how the word ‘politics’ is made up of the words ‘poli’ meaning ‘many’ in Latin, and ‘tics’ as in ‘bloodsucking creatures’?

Why isn’t chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Life sucks and then you die.

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

Why do people say, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too”? Why would someone get cake if they can’t eat it?

“When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade”

Don’t mess with me I’ve got a stick.

Darth Vader- "Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!" Luke Skywalker- "Nah, the rebels have cake." Darth Vader- "ooh! Can I be a rebel?!"

I smile because I have no idea what’s going on!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Boys are like slinkies, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I’m the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n’ slide.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don’t obsess! I think intensely.

Of course I’m talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might wanna offend you later.

One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Sing “I’m Off to See the Wizard” when sent to the Headmasters office.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

All the good ones are gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

Stupid shiny Volvo owner.

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

“When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.”

“Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”

“Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else”

“Real girls aren’t perfect, perfect girls aren’t real.”

“I’d rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I’m not.”

“What is easy is not always right, and what is right is not always easy.”

A recent survey stated that the average person’s greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you’re telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

I’m not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Death is God’s way of saying “You’re fired.” Suicide is Human’s way of saying “You can’t fire me- I quit!”

“He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron.”

“If you know me, chances are you hate me.”

Shut up voices or I’ll poke you with a fork

If at first you don’t succeed skydiving isn’t for you.

Those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them.

Set sail in a general that way direction.

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

I’m sick of following my dreams, I’m just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later.

Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in you face?

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go.

Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it

I'm a part of the ANTI HADES HATERS club, copy and paste on to your profile, add your name to the list SweetyamiyugigirlHappyfish and tell DaughterofPoseidon32498 that you did! GO HADES!!

Girl #1- I love Greek Mytholagy

Girl #2- I hate mytholagy

Girl #1- Do you like to learn?

Girl #2- Not really

Girl #1- Do you like school?

Girl #2- No.

Girl #1- Do you like to read?

Girl #2- Yes

Girl #1- Congrates your one step above moron, two steps above dumass and one step below ideot. But your a hundred miles from smart and a thousend light years from genus.

I hate when people say Hades is the devil! If you actully read Greek Myths he is the god of death meaning good and bad people go to him when they die. He is not evil, he is strict but fair. "But he kidnapped Persephone." Well if you were surrounded by the dead all the time wouldnt you want someone to love and one of the most beutiful people to lighten up the place. The underworld probably got lonly and a three headed dog and the dead are not that great of coversaion holder

"First, nobody can be like you. You're insane. In fact, insane people even call you insane." -Bakura: Demons and Angels by Zyrx

O.o this totally creeped me out and I believe in stuff like this, bad enough, I already think something is my apartment already:

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Lucillia

WHAT A KISS MEANS

Kiss on the stomach = "I'm ready" Kiss on the Forehead = "I hope we're together forever" Kiss on the Ear = "You're my everything" Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends" Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you" Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together" Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you" Kiss on the Lips = "I love you"

What the gesture means... Holding Hands = "We definitely love each other" Slap on the Butt = "That's mine" Holding on tight = "I don't want to let go" Looking into each other's Eyes = "I just plain love you" Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me" Arms around the Waist = "I love you too much to let go" Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you" picking someone up off their feet = "That they love them fully and would do anything for them"

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food. REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food. (glares at friends... this is why i take so much food to school, cause i usually end up giving some to you guys anyway...)

-This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. -Lucillia

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs. REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn, that was fun. Let's do it again!"

FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry. REAL FRIENDS: Kick the ass of whatever made you cry.

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. REAL FRIENDS: Keep your junk so long they forget its yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door. REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile. REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough. REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Come on, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you. REAL FRIENDS: Will kick their ass to hell and out!

FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with the most vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE FRIENDS: Say no when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. REAL FRIENDS: Talk on the phone or come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it

Come on, Harry, let's go on an adventure

Wow! You are handmade by God…that is amazing!

hi i love dolphins and wolves

20 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity:

1: At lunch time, sit in you car with sunglasses on and point a hair dry at passing cars; see if they slow down

2: Page yourself over the intercom. Do not disguise your voice.

3: Every time some one asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that

4: Put you garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"

5: Put decaf in the coffee maker (home or work). When everyone gets over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso

6: In your memo book, on all your checks, put "FOR SMUGGLING DIAMONDS"

7: Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance To The Prophecy"

8: Dont use any punctuation

9: As often as possible, skip instead of walking

10: Order diet water whenever you go out with a serious face

11: Specify that your drive-thru order is "TO GO"

12: Sing along at the opera

13: Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme

14: Put mosquito netting around your work area (or room) and play tropical sounds all day

15: 5 days in advance, tell your friend that you can't go to their party cause you don't 'feel like it'

16: Have friends or coworkers address you by your wrestling name "Rock Bottom"

17: When the cash comes out of the ATM yell, "I WON, I WON"

18: When exiting the zoo, start running toward the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives they're loose"

19: Tell your children (or younger sibling) that "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go"

20: And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity is... Copy this and put it on your profile

VERY overdone... Read anyway?

You studied with Hermione. You stumbled with Ron. You hid creatures with Hagrid. You laughed with Fred and George. You fought with Voldemort. You forgot with Neville. You got caught with the DA. You rebelled against Umbridge and Snape. You cheered on Gryffindor and wept over cedric . You kept up the rivalry with Draco Malfoy and the Slytherins. You wanted to kill Dumbledore. You stuck with Harry til the end. Now it’s nearly over, and now all you can do is remember, and thank J.K. Rowling for the time of your life.

REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):

1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)

2. Meet the recruitment bunny!

3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!

4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!

5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!

6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!

7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?

8. WORLD DOMINATION! BEST reason!

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions: "Put on fork and eat." (No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with colds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

On a pack of waterballons: Children under 8 years can choke or suffocate or broken ballons. (So if i'm older than 8 i won't choke.)

The sorting hat says that I belong in hufflepuff!

Said Gryffindor, "We'll teach all those with brave deeds to their name."Students of Gryffindor are typically brave, daring, and chivalrous. Famous members include Harry, Ron, Hermione, Albus Dumbledore (head of Hogwarts), and Minerva McGonagall (head of Gryffindor).

the sorting hat said i should go in all houses but i demanded hufflepuff cause there an awesome house and are very loyale not oh i love you one day hate you the next like the rest of hogwarts

Hello people! :)

xxxx

Strange and random things that made me laugh...

Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?

If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.

Don't knock on death's door, ring the doorbell and run- he hates that!

My knight in shining turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

It's better to keep quiet and let someone think you're stupid, than to open your mouth and prove it.

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious

If you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!

OMG! i think i just saw a flying bird!

let me write that down in my 'things i dont really give f about' notebook.

yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.

i speak fluent sarcasm.

are yhu stoned or just stupid.!

I don't obsess, I think intensely!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda."

I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.

"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."

"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important; school however, is another matter.

I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?

There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.

High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.

I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

I do not deny everything!

Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go into storage.

Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over...

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

The road to success is always under construction.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape

Don't take life to serously, no one gets out alive anyway

I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!

SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...

If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends

Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do

Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died

Everyone Is Entitled To Their Own Opinion, It Just That Your's Is Stupid

Man Invented Language To Satisfy Their Deep Need To Complain

Magic is the stuff Science hasn't made boring yet!

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

"Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for."

"Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you."

"If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words."

Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads :P

I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Something else that i laughed at :D

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Frito's! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?

If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable?

Why is it the TWELVE days of Christmas when there is only one day of Christmas?

Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?

If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?

When a boy is named after his dad, he is called 'Junior,' but what do you call a girl that is named after her mother?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do?

More funny things i found :D These aren't mine by the way XD

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

15. The day you don't wash your hair is the day you meet a cute boy.

Even more stuff that made me think and laugh at the same time :D

Do not run in the school hall, gliding is more fun.

Officer, I swear to Drunk I am not God!

When life gives you lemons, spit the lemons in life's eyes.

Enjoying the "Great Outdoors" would be better if it were great.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

My heart? Yeah. It's not a playground.

Tears wash the windows of our souls so we can see ourselves more clearly. -Exodus 19:5

Oops! I appear to have fallen on your lips.

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at one thing: Staying Strong.

Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and lose that's weird.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit!

Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it all. And then some you don't want. -Daughtry

Of course it's in the last place you look for it. Why in hell would you keep looking for it if you already found it.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember he was looking back.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door.

Silence is golden but duck tape is silver

You know it's a bad day when you fall out of bed and you miss the floor.

Behind every bitch there's a guy that made her that way.

Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die, and your mom say you can still keep it.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Dance like no one's watching. Sing like no one's listening.

Sometimes you've got to smile and walk away... Hold your tears in and pretend like you're okay.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

Don't yawn in the shower. You might drown. -Bill Cosby

I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.

Slinky Escalator = Endless fun

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

Therapist = The/rapist (scary thought -shudder-)

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...

I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.

I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy! -Dory from Finding Nemo

I can resist anything but temptation.

They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

One day we're going to look back at this, laugh nervously, then change the subject.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide.

I don't obsess, I think intensely.

Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.

Funny !!

It's funny how 'hello' is always accompanied with 'goodbye'. It's funny how good memories always make you cry. It's funny how forever never seems to really last. It's funny how'd much you'd lose if you forgot your past. It's funny how "friends" can just leave you when your down. It's funny how when you need someone they're never around. It's funny how people forgive, even when they can't forget. It's funny how one night, can contain so much regret. It's funny how ironic life turns out to be. But the funniest part of all? None of that's funny to me.

by Unknown

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball. Copy and paste this into your profile

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, when I grew up I was BLACK, when I'm sick I'm BLACK, when I go into the sun I'm BLACK, when I'm cold I'm BLACK, when I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, when you're born you're PINK, when you grow up you're WHITE, when you're sick, you're GREEN, when you go in the sun you turn RED, when you're cold you turn BLUE and when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored? Post this on your profile if you hate racism.

If you want world peace, a brighter future, and more chocolate, paste this into your profile.

If you've ever laughed so hard tears streamed down your face, you banged your head repeatedly on a table, and received weird looks from everyone in the immediate vicinity, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile

WHAT A KISS MEANS

Kiss on the stomach = "I'm ready" Kiss on the Forehead = "I hope we're together forever" Kiss on the Ear = "You're my everything" Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends" Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you" Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together" Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you" Kiss on the Lips = "I love you"

What the gesture means... Holding Hands = "We definitely love each other" Slap on the Butt = "That's mine" Holding on tight = "I don't want to let go" Looking into each other's Eyes = "I just plain love you" Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me" Arms around the Waist = "I love you too much to let go" Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you" picking someone up off their feet = "That they love them fully and would do anything for them"

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food. REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food. (glares at friends... this is why i take so much food to school, cause i usually end up giving some to you guys anyway...)

-This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. -Lucillia

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs. REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn, that was fun. Let's do it again!"

FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry. REAL FRIENDS: Kick the ass of whatever made you cry.

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. REAL FRIENDS: Keep your junk so long they forget its yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door. REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile. REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough. REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Come on, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you. REAL FRIENDS: Will kick their ass to hell and out!

FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with the most vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE FRIENDS: Say no when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. REAL FRIENDS: Talk on the phone or come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it

Come on, Harry, let's go on an adventure

Wow! You are handmade by God…that is amazing!

hi i love dolphins and wolves

20 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity:

1: At lunch time, sit in you car with sunglasses on and point a hair dry at passing cars; see if they slow down

2: Page yourself over the intercom. Do not disguise your voice.

3: Every time some one asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that

4: Put you garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"

5: Put decaf in the coffee maker (home or work). When everyone gets over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso

6: In your memo book, on all your checks, put "FOR SMUGGLING DIAMONDS"

7: Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance To The Prophecy"

8: Dont use any punctuation

9: As often as possible, skip instead of walking

10: Order diet water whenever you go out with a serious face

11: Specify that your drive-thru order is "TO GO"

12: Sing along at the opera

13: Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme

14: Put mosquito netting around your work area (or room) and play tropical sounds all day

15: 5 days in advance, tell your friend that you can't go to their party cause you don't 'feel like it'

16: Have friends or coworkers address you by your wrestling name "Rock Bottom"

17: When the cash comes out of the ATM yell, "I WON, I WON"

18: When exiting the zoo, start running toward the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives they're loose"

19: Tell your children (or younger sibling) that "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go"

20: And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity is... Copy this and put it on your profile

VERY overdone... Read anyway?

You studied with Hermione. You stumbled with Ron. You hid creatures with Hagrid. You laughed with Fred and George. You fought with Voldemort. You forgot with Neville. You got caught with the DA. You rebelled against Umbridge and Snape. You cheered on Gryffindor and wept over cedric . You kept up the rivalry with Draco Malfoy and the Slytherins. You wanted to kill Dumbledore. You stuck with Harry til the end. Now it’s nearly over, and now all you can do is remember, and thank J.K. Rowling for the time of your life.

REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):

1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)

2. Meet the recruitment bunny!

3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!

4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!

5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!

6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!

7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?

8. WORLD DOMINATION! BEST reason!

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions: "Put on fork and eat." (No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with colds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

On a pack of waterballons: Children under 8 years can choke or suffocate or broken ballons. (So if i'm older than 8 i won't choke.)

The sorting hat says that I belong in hufflepuff!

Said Gryffindor, "We'll teach all those with brave deeds to their name."Students of Gryffindor are typically brave, daring, and chivalrous. Famous members include Harry, Ron, Hermione, Albus Dumbledore (head of Hogwarts), and Minerva McGonagall (head of Gryffindor).

the sorting hat said i should go in all houses but i demanded hufflepuff cause there an awesome house and are very loyale not oh i love you one day hate you the next like the rest of hogwarts

I do love the Twilight Saga, but after reading Fanfic's, the books seem rather basic and boring to me now.

Hello people! :)

Just a warning, my updates may become more distant because I'm revising and studying for my exams and are sitting them in a few weeks. Please can people lay off the IM's about me updating! I have enough people cramming texts and work down my throat as it is! I come on here to relax...

Relax people, no get bombarded with messages threateneding bodily harm if I don't update immediately!

Anyway, that was my vent.

I do now have a blog though - h t t p : / / elementofmind . blogspot . com /

Of course without all the spaces. If any of you want updates about any of the stories just post something on there. I'll post my progress and you may realise why I'm taking so long with my writing...

xxxx

Strange and random things that made me laugh...

Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?

If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.

Don't knock on death's door, ring the doorbell and run- he hates that!

My knight in shining turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

It's better to keep quiet and let someone think you're stupid, than to open your mouth and prove it.

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious

If you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!

OMG! i think i just saw a flying bird!

let me write that down in my 'things i dont really give f about' notebook.

yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.

i speak fluent sarcasm.

are yhu stoned or just stupid.!

I don't obsess, I think intensely!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda."

I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.

"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."

"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important; school however, is another matter.

I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?

There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.

High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.

I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

I do not deny everything!

Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go into storage.

Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over...

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

The road to success is always under construction.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape

Don't take life to serously, no one gets out alive anyway

I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!

SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...

If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends

Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do

Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died

Everyone Is Entitled To Their Own Opinion, It Just That Your's Is Stupid

Man Invented Language To Satisfy Their Deep Need To Complain

Magic is the stuff Science hasn't made boring yet!

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

"Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for."

"Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you."

"If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words."

Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads :P

I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Something else that i laughed at :D

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Frito's! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?

If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable?

Why is it the TWELVE days of Christmas when there is only one day of Christmas?

Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?

If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?

When a boy is named after his dad, he is called 'Junior,' but what do you call a girl that is named after her mother?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do?

More funny things i found :D These aren't mine by the way XD

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

15. The day you don't wash your hair is the day you meet a cute boy.

Even more stuff that made me think and laugh at the same time :D

Do not run in the school hall, gliding is more fun.

Officer, I swear to Drunk I am not God!

When life gives you lemons, spit the lemons in life's eyes.

Enjoying the "Great Outdoors" would be better if it were great.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

My heart? Yeah. It's not a playground.

Tears wash the windows of our souls so we can see ourselves more clearly. -Exodus 19:5

Oops! I appear to have fallen on your lips.

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at one thing: Staying Strong.

Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and lose that's weird.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit! (OMC! Carlisle!)

Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it all. And then some you don't want. -Daughtry

Of course it's in the last place you look for it. Why in hell would you keep looking for it if you already found it.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember he was looking back.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door.

Silence is golden but duck tape is silver

You know it's a bad day when you fall out of bed and you miss the floor.

Behind every bitch there's a guy that made her that way.

Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die, and your mom say you can still keep it.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Dance like no one's watching. Sing like no one's listening.

Sometimes you've got to smile and walk away... Hold your tears in and pretend like you're okay.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

Don't yawn in the shower. You might drown. -Bill Cosby

I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.

Slinky Escalator = Endless fun

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

Therapist = The/rapist (scary thought -shudder-)

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...

I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.

I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy! -Dory from Finding Nemo

I can resist anything but temptation.

They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

One day we're going to look back at this, laugh nervously, then change the subject.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide.

I don't obsess, I think intensely.

Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.

Funny !!

It's funny how 'hello' is always accompanied with 'goodbye'. It's funny how good memories always make you cry. It's funny how forever never seems to really last. It's funny how'd much you'd lose if you forgot your past. It's funny how "friends" can just leave you when your down. It's funny how when you need someone they're never around. It's funny how people forgive, even when they can't forget. It's funny how one night, can contain so much regret. It's funny how ironic life turns out to be. But the funniest part of all? None of that's funny to me.

by Unknown

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball. Copy and paste this into your profile

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, when I grew up I was BLACK, when I'm sick I'm BLACK, when I go into the sun I'm BLACK, when I'm cold I'm BLACK, when I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, when you're born you're PINK, when you grow up you're WHITE, when you're sick, you're GREEN, when you go in the sun you turn RED, when you're cold you turn BLUE and when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored? Post this on your profile if you hate racism.

If you want world peace, a brighter future, and more chocolate, paste this into your profile.

If you've ever laughed so hard tears streamed down your face, you banged your head repeatedly on a table, and received weird looks from everyone in the immediate vicinity, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are time when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this 'ice ice _' You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters! You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!" You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ." You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World. You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons. You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school. You remember reading "Goosebumps" You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1. when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky. You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time. "Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show. Captain Planet. He's a Hero. You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together. You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular. You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny. You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders" You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS. You remember when Yo-Yos were cool. You remember those Where's Waldo books. You remember eating Warheads. You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies. You remember Ring Pops. You remember drinking Surge, and Tang. If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!" When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos. You remember boom boxes vs. cd players. Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them. You played and/or collected "Pogs" You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere. . . . Furbies Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever! You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet. And Windows 95 was the best. You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles. Michael Jordan was a king. YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff! All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand. You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out. You collected those Beanie Babies. Mortal Kombat was awesome--the game and the movie Carebears Gak was the coolest stuff invented. Lambchop's song never ended. The old dollar bills. Silver dollars, which were cool to have. You remember a time before the WB. You collected all the Troll dolls You had to read Weekly Reader's in class. If you even know what an original walkman is. You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch. You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" You know the Macarena by heart. "Talk to the hand" . . . enough said You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!" You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that! You remember Highlight's magazine. You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace. You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground. Before the MySpace frenzy . . . Before the Internet & text messaging . . . Before Sidekicks & iPods . . . Before MIKE JONES . . . Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . . Before Spongebob . . . Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night. When light up sneakers were cool. When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs. When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing. When we recorded stuff on VCRs. When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkmans. When gameboy was a brick. You did MASH to figure out your future When you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket. Way back. Before we realized all this would eventually disappear. Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much! Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . . or if you smiled at one of these things.

If you are against all form's of animal abuse and don't agree with the Fur trade and cutting down forrests which are home to an indiginous or rare species post this on your page!!

If you are against cock fighting, dog fighting, hunting and mistreatment of Animals and think people who enjoy these sports are sick and cruel post this on your page!!

REMEMBER WHEN .. getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground? the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs? when )m 0 m( was your hero and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry? when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest? when - WAR- was a card game and life was simple and care free? remember when all you wanted to do WAS GROW UP?

pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.

Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now

i heard there was a secret cord that david played and it pleased the Lord

but you dont really care bout music do ya

it goes like this the 4th the 5th

the minor fall and the major lift

the baffled king composing hallelughya

Isn't it funny that when you go to the shops with your friends you look down at the girl with black jeans and studs but smile at the girl wearing a mini with a tshirt that barely cover anything?

Isn't it funny you can change your music taste to impress a guy but when it comes to a girl who likes her own music and her own style, you give her a mouthful?

ISN'T IT FUNNY that a guy can get away with being a gangsta but the emo gets a mouthful from everyone? are you laughing?

Isn't it funny a emo can be quiet all through the week but gets more shit from everyone than the girl who sleeps around and sells her virginity?

ISN'T IT FUNNY that you don't mind your friends drinking, smoking but the minute someone mentions emo music you can give them a lecture on melodramatic teenage outcasts?

I'm not laughing.

ITS SO FUNNY that you and your friends can make a girls life hell and not know anything about the silent battle she might be fighting.

ISN'T IT FUNNY that you can call emo's, punks, goths the retards but still manage to get through your day without an inch of guilt in your heart.

HOW YOU CAN CALL A GIRL A POSER, HOW CAN YOU SAY "YOUR NOT EMO" OR "ATTENTION SEEKER" WITHOUT SPENDING A SECOND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THERE ARE CUTS ON HER WRISTS AND WHY SHE SPENDS HER LUNCHTIMES CRYING INSTEAD OF LAUGHING WITH HER FRIENDS? KEEP ON LAUGHING!

isn't it funny you can say and do all this without any idea of what is going on in this persons life without knowing her situation with her friends or her family or her LIFE!

BRAVE ISN'T GOING UP ON STAGE AND STRIPPING!

BRAVE IS NOT SAYING A SPEECH OR DUMPING YOUR BOYFRIEND!

BRAVE IS GOING TO SCHOOL ON MUFTI DAY AND NOT FOR A SECOND CARE WHAT THE WORLD AROUND YOU IS SAYING ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES. ITS LISTENING TO YOUR OWN MUSIC AND BEING PROUD OF IT!

ITS GOING THROUGH EVERY DAY WITH THE THINGS PEOPLE SAY TO YOUR FACE AND BEHIND YOUR BACK AND YOU STILL KEEP QUIET. ITS KNOWING WHAT YOUR "FRIENDS" ARE SAYING ABOUT YOU AND STILL CALLING THEM YOUR FRIENDS!

BRAVE IS KNOWING THAT TOMORROW ISN'T A BRIGHT AND HAPPY FUTURE ITS ANOTHER DAY OF COMPLAINING AND DODGING RUMORS! KEEP ON LAUGHING.

if you agree put this on your profile and advise others to do the same

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Archangel's Requiem, Lady Sakura of the Fated,Soul Stance, Raven Wolfmoon, iheartmwpp, dracosnumber1girl, SMARTALIENQT, Luthien Saralonde, Xiaahandrus, Zenerific1, narutoyaoifan(everyday for the last 3 months), Ryu Pendragon, CindyPanther (Everyday since I found fanfiction), JasperAlecLuver (Same as CindyPanther. Everyday since I found fanfiction), The-One-Who-Reads-The-HP-Books.

Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead,

who keeps your picture in his wallet,

who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,

who holds your hand in front of all his friends,

who thinks your beautiful without makeup,

one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,

THE one who turns to his friends and says THAT'S HER!

!eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

Yugi: Do I ever cross your mind?

Yami: No

Yugi: Do you like me?

Yami: No

Yugi: Do you want me?

Yami: No

Yugi: Would you cry if I left?

Yami: No

Yugi: Would you live for me?

Yami: No

Yugi: Would you do anything for me?

Yami: No

Yugi: Choose--me or your life

Yami: My life

Yugi runs away in shock and pain and Yami runs after him and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile

Hush, little sister

Please don't cry

I wish I could be there

To sing you a lullaby

I can see your arms

Bloodied and bruised

That's strange, little sister

Mine were like that too

I know you scream

When Daddy's there

Hush, little sister

I know you're scared

I can see the way

He's hurting you

I'm sorry, little sister

He did that to me too

I know that people

Ignore what's going on at home

That makes me angry, little sister

You shouldn't have to be alone

Hey, little sister

You wanna know why I'm not there?

It's a sad story, little sister

But people should care

You see, little sister

One day Daddy got high

You were asleep in your crib

So you didn't hear my cry

He screamed at me

And smashed my head against the door

While you slept, little sister

I died on the floor

You know, little sister

I don't think that I would have died

If someone had only bothered

To listen to my cries

But hush, little sister

Daddy's coming home

Quick, get into bed

You don't want him to find you alone

I'm sorry little sister

He's in a bad mood

Run while you can

Uh oh little sister

He's lifting his belt

Scream while you can, little sister

Call for help

Hush little sister

You don't need to cry

No one can hurt you

You're in my arms tonight.

--Unknown.

CHILD ABUSE IS SICK AND WRONG. PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE IF YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY.

I have a sudden feeling to say something random.

Thumbs up if you like the Cookie Monster!

Om nom nom nom!

Elmo rocks too!

ONE DAY A DAD COMES HOME DRUNK AND MAD. HE PULLS OUT A GUN AND SHOOTS HIS WIFE AND THEN TURNS THE GUN ON HIMSELF. HIS LITTLE GIRL SITS BEHIND THE COUCH CRYING. THE POLICE CAME AND TOOK THE LITTLE GIRL TO A NEW FAMILY. HER FIRST DAY TO SUNDAY SCHOOL SHE WALKS INTO THE BUILDING AND SEES A PICTURE OF JESUS ON THE CROSS.

THE LITTLE GIRL ASKS THE TEACHER: How did that man get off the cross?

THE TEACHER REPLIED: He never did.

THE LITTLE GIRL ARGUED: Yes he did when mommy and daddy fought he sat next to me behind the couch telling me everything was gonna be alright...

66 of u won't repost this. BUT REMEMBER THE BIBLE SAID, ''DENY JESUS IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS AND I WILL DENY YOU IN FRONT OF MY FATHER."Repost this IF YOUR NOT ASHAMED. Let God's love spread

At least 90% of humans would not run down the halls of School screaming 'OH MY JASHIN! JASPER IS COMING!' because you gave yourself a papercut on your finger. If you are part of the 10% who would (and I love you if you would) copy & paste this onto your profile and add your name to the list: AkatsukiAngel1, macymay201, JasperAlecLuver, The-One-Who-Reads-The-HP-Books.

()()
(0.0)
c( uu)

Copy the bunny to your presentation to help him achieve world domination, and come join the dark side. (We have cookies.)

/l、
(゚、 。 7
l、 ヽ
じしf,)ノ

Yaaaay kitty!

This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your signature or profile to help him gain world domination.

Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, but Jasper can sit in a corner all by himself and still make everyone feel jealous.

Because I'm the weird kid, and always will be.

Because I never give up on dreams.

Because I have an over active imagination.

Because I want to be different.

Because I'm a fangirl.

Because I dance like I can when I can't.

Because I'm in love with Jackson Rathbone/ Jasper Whitlock.

Because I wish I were an amazing author.

Because I'm religous.

Because I like Spanish love poetry.

Because I'm a romantic.

Because I love British Accents.

Because I read.

Because I'm a fanpire.

Because I invented the word "bitchwolf" to describe Leah.

Because I never said you had to like me.

Because I like the Spanish language.

Because I play the piano, the flute, and sing.

Because I love English.

Because I love love.

Because I write.

Because this is who I am.

"Dude, where's my phone?! Like seriously? I just had it, I swear!"

"Caaallm down."

"How can I be calm? I can't find my phone!"

"Dude, you're talking to me on your phone right now!"

Brunette: HIDE! THERE'S A SERIAL KILLER ON THE LOOSE!!!

Blonde: OH NO!!!! *runs to kitchen*

Brunette: WHAT ARE YOU DOING??

Blonde: HIDING MY FRUIT LOOPS! WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE IM DOING! (Hehe, no offense to you Blondes out there)

Don't you hate it when you're texting lying down on your bed and all of a sudden your phone decides to be ninja and slips through your hands and attacks your face?

A student comes to a young professor's office. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean.." she whispers, "..I would do ANYTHING!!" He returns her gaze. "Anything??" "Yes,.. Anything!" She says. His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you.. study??"

A good friend would go to the drug store to buy you a pregnancy test but a best friend would stand outside the bathroom door yelling, "NAME IT AFTER ME!"

Teacher: "Have you done your homework?" Student: "Have you graded my test?" Teacher: "No, I have other student's stuff to grade" Student: "I have other teacher's homework to do"

"Yesterday was Thursday, today it is Friday, tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday comes afterward"...thank god she pointed it out to us, we'd never have known...

Grandpa: When i was your age my momma would send me down to the store with $1 and I would come back with 5 bags of potatoes 2 loaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk a box of tea and 6 eggs but you cant do that these days too many stupid security cameras.

Teacher: "I'm calling your parents!"

Elementary Student: NOOOOOO,"I'll be good!"

Middle School Student: "Pshhh,whatever!"

High School Student: "Hahaha tell my mom I said Hi!" :P

A Dads Poem

Her hair was up in a pony tail, her favorite dress tied with a bow.

Today was Daddy's Day at school, and she couldn't wait to go. But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home.

Why the kids might not understand, if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid; she knew just what to say. What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today. But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone. And that was why once again, she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all. About a dad she never sees a dad who never calls. There were daddies along the wall in back, for everyone to meet.

Children squirming impatiently, anxious in their seats. one by one the teacher called a student from the class. To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare. each of them was searching, for a man who wasn't there.

"Where's her daddy at?" she heard a boy call out.

"She probably doesn't have one," another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say, "Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her, she smiled up at her Mom and looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back, slowly she began to speak. And out from the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique.

"My Daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away. But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day. And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know. All about my daddy, and how much he loves me so. He loved to tell me stories, he taught me to ride my bike. He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite. We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone. And though you cannot see him. I'm not standing here alone. "Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart I know because he told me, he'll forever be in my heart"

With that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest. Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress. And from somewhere in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears. Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years. For she stood up for the love of a man not in her life. Doing what was best for her, doing what was right. And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd. She finished with a voice so soft, but its message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star. And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far. You see he was a fireman and died just this past year when airplanes hit the towers and taught Americans to fear. But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away."

And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day. And to her mother’s amazement, she witnessed with surprise. A room full of daddies and children, all starting to close their eyes. Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside. Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him at her side.

"I know you're with me Daddy," to the silence she called out.

And what happened next made believers, of those once filled with doubt. Not one in that room could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed. But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment, by the love of her shining star. And given the gift of believing, that heaven is never too far.

‘They’ say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

Send this to the people you'll never forget and remember to send it also to the person that sent it to you. It's a short message to let them know that you'll never forget them. If you don't send it to anyone, it means you're in a hurry and that you've forgotten your friends.

Take the time...to live and love. Until eternity. May you be blessed

If you've ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever run into a door copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree copy this onto your profile.

If you prefer cold and snow over heat and sun, paste this to your profile.

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever read past two in the morning, copy this into your profile.

If there are times when you just want to annoy someone for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this into your profile

If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with the current conversation, copy this into your profile.

If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you're a night person, copy this to your profile.

If you think clowns are evil and will someday take over the world copy this on your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.

If people tend to misunderstand you copy this to your profile.

If your friends can scare you by saying the word pink or cute wittle bunny rabbits copy this to your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you've ever felt like something was watching you and then turned around to find nothing, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile

if you have ever been on one train of thought but got distracted for a few seconds and forgot what it was, copy and... what was i doing?

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone their not, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want to see the world someday, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile

If you've ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things in your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy this to your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you’re a person who acts friendly, but has an evil mind and is planning to dominate the world, copy this to your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile

Put an X if you have done these things

X You've run into a glass/screen door.

X You have jumped out of a moving vehicle

X You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.

XYou have run into a tree/bush.

XYou know that it IS possible to lick your elbow

X You have tried to lick your elbow

XYou never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle , Twinkle Little _Star have the same tune.

X You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.

XYou have accidentally caught something on fire

You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes.

XYou have caught yourself drooling.

x you have fallen asleep in class and started to talk/drool, or snore.

X Sometimes you just stop thinking.

X You are telling a story and forget what you were talking about. People often shake their heads and walk away from you.

x You are often told to use your 'inside voice'.

X You use your fingers to do simple math.

You have eaten a bug

x You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important.

X You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it.

X You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand.

You’ve ever stapled your hand

xYou break a lot of things.

x Your friends know not to use big words around you.

X You tilt your head when you're confused.

XYou have fallen out of your chair before.

X When you're lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling.

X The word 'um' is used many times a day

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food. REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs. REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents mom & dad

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. REAL FRIENDS: Would be sittin next to you sayinin man... That was awsesome!

FAKE FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget its yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. REAL FRIENDS: Will get the whole crowd that left you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. REAL FRIENDS: walk in without knocking like they live there.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk bad to the person who talks bad about you. REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them out.

FAKE FRIENDS: Would ignore this. REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it.

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for a while. REAL FRIENDS: Are forever!

Copy and paste this to your profile if you were very, VERY, VERY angry when Danny phantom was cancelled

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

I walk in the rain- others just get wet! Copy and paste if you walk in the rain!

If you love Fanfiction.net, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever laughed at people getting hurt copy and paste this on your profile.

Copy and paste this to your profile if every time your friends ask you what you did this morning you reply with something about being on the computer.

Copy and paste this to your profile if you love thunder storms.

Copy and paste this to your profile if you think that the backspace key is one of the best inventions ever.

things to do at wal-mart

Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.

In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

If you have Phantom Phever and you know it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you support the pairing harry/hermione copy and post this to your profile H/HR FOREVER!! :D

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile

If you've ever written stuff on your car windows when they're covered in condensation, copy this to your profile

If you ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you really have no idea how this copy and pasting stuff started, but enjoy it anyway, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.

What to Do During an Exam

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Darn this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go ice skating.)

15. Show up completely insane (completely insane means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. (I would never do that)

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Act spazzy

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

34. Fake an heart attack. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girly-girl nearby.

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your pencil. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

42. Dress like the professor.

43. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

44. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

A good friend helps you up when you fall down. A best friend laughs and trips you again. Or sits on you back and forces you to stay down...

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will prank call him and whisper, “You will die in seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend never asks for anything to eat or drink. Best friends Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

A good friend Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. A best friend Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. A best friend loses your junk and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

A good friend only knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds’ butt that left you.

A good friend would knock on your front door. A best friend will walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

A friend will help me find my way when I'm lost. A best friend will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

A friend will help me learn to drive. A best friend will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.

A friend will watch my pets when I go away. A best friend won't let me go away without them.

A friend will go to a concert with me. A best friend will kidnap the band with me.

A good friend hides me from the cops. A best friend is probably the reason they are after me in the first place.

A good friend lets me make an idiot of myself in public. A best friend is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

A good friend is only through school/college. A best friend is for life.

If you had ever gotten writer's block in a sudden and random moment, copy this to your profile

If you like chocolate as much as i do copy and paste this into your profile

Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stare at the walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, she asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to cry.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.

The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.

When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked her for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her.

She asked if they would ask the man one question.

She was curious as to why he had not attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

You're never alone...

93 Percent Of the people who read this won't repost it.

Don't be one of those people.

Believe in God and he'll always be there to protect you.

And this is how I remember Harry Potter, Wizardry World in daily life...

when people talk of time, I remember Hermione, the time-turner.

when people talk of wounds and scars, I remember Harry, his connection.

when I see flames, I remember Ron, his red hair.

when people talk of imprisonment, I remember Sirius Black, his time in Azkaban.

when people talk of death, I remember Lily and James, their love for Harry.

when people talk of killers, I remember ol' Volders, his evilness.

when people talk of gangs, I remember death-eaters, their mean-ness.

when people talk of bravery, I remember Moody, his protection.

when people talk of ferrets, I remember Draco, his after-math fear of ferrets.

when people talk of betrayal, I remember Peter, his way of selling the Potters.

When people talk of principles, I remember Percy, his prim-ness.

and lastly, when people ask me if I believe in magic...

I SAY YES!

everyday, whenever I get a chance to wish upon anything, I wish that...

I BECOME A WITCH!

I'm not old enough to go to Hogwarts yet. Because next year, I'll get my letter.

BECAUSE I'M A SCARY WITCH WHO GETS HER LETTERS!

and here are some of the quotes I made myself...

They say I'm annoying. I take it as a Compliment.

They say I'm mean. I say that I'm not, I'm EVIL!

They say I'm crazy. I say that better crazy and unique, than boring and normal like you.

Those who scorn us writers are just have no creativity.

People with no creativity have nothing.

I'm a nerd- deal with it.

STOP GLOBAL WARMING... it's melting my chocolate.

MY PLEDGE TO HP

You say Twilight

I say Harry Potter

You say vampires

I say wizards

You say Jacob Black

I say Sirius Black

you say Team Edward

I say Team Potter

You say Robert Pattison

I'll say "is Cedric Diggory"

You think Bella and Edward are the perfect dream couple?

I think that's James and Lily

You say Edward

I'll say Harry, now STUPEFY

(O.o )

This is Bunny.

Copy Bunny into your profile to help him on his way to world domination.

IF YOU SAY POTTER IS BETTER THAN CULLEN, NO DOUBT, I THINK YOU ARE AWESOME, FELLOW POTTERHOLIC

You are human. It is paper. You will always win. this is for you if you think origami is hard!

I'm a Potterholic. If you aren't, I think you are stupid.

BOY: you hit like a girl. GIRL: and maybe you would too if you hit a little bit hard- nah, who am I kidding?

WIZARDS ARE SUPREME. YOU THINK NOT, THEN HERE...

AVADA KADAVRA!

Do you believe me now!? HUH!? HUH!? *pokes* oops, you're dead. Sorry!

I. Will. Kill. You. If. You. Sit. On. That. Box. If you read that with pauses in between, C&P!

Say that wizards are better than vampires or else I'll Avada Kadavra your bum off. NOW SAY IT!

Put this on your Profile.

If you Love Music

(o)

(\_/) PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE

('.') IF YOU HATE

(")_(") ANIMAL CRUELTY

x

x XxXxXxXxXxX

x xXxPotterxXx... RuLEs.

x XxXxXxXxXxX

x

"Always give 100% percent at work...12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday" ;D

"Cinderella walked on broken glass, Sleeping Beauty let a life time pass, Belle fell in love with a beast, Jasmine chose a poor man, Ariel spent her life on land. We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person prefectly"

I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.

I've heard that it's possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it.

I asked my teacher if I'd get in trouble for something I didn't do. She said of course not, so I told her I didn't do my homework

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells."

It's you and me against the world...we attack at dawn.

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

Have you ever been walking down the street and realised that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions.

- I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

- Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

One out of four people is insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you

"What you're looking for is always in the last place you look

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

When there's a will, I want to be in it.

"It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt-then it's hilarious!"

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

My imaginary friend thinks that you have serious problems.

If a parent/guardian asks you, "What did you learn at school today?" answer, "I learnt how to survive it."

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Hey, all you people who have survived Alice, Let me give you some great news...

Alice is on a Quest! her goal is to annoy different Harry Potter characters to the bursting point. First is Voldy, of course. Then I think I'll do the Marauders.

Keep tuned in my writing for Laughter until death! (or death by Alice...)

Harry Voldemort, Voldemort Cedric, and Cedric = Edward. So, Harry Voldemort Edward. Therefore, Harry Edward. So, Harry Potter Twilight. If you agree with this form of logic, copy and paste this into your profile.

This is a tribute to all who died fighting Tom Marvolo Riddle Aka: Voldemort

First off, I must say, Rest in Peace:

James and Lily Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black (The True Mauraders) Nymphadora Tonks, Ted Tonks,Professor Snape, Fred Weasley, Colin Creavy, Dobby, Hedwig, Regulus Black, Charity Burbadge, Mad-Eye Moody, Cedric Diggory, Grindewald, Sturgis Podmore, Gregorvitch, Benjy Fenwick, Edgar Bones, Gideon and Fabian Prewitt, Dorcas Meadows, Marlene McKinnon, Caradoc Dearborn, and all the brave souls that were lost to the War against Voldemort. May you all rest in Peace, and Remember you're never forgotten

To James and Lily,

Who died at the beginning,

To Remus and Dora,

Who will never know their son,

To Severus,

Who isn't actually all bad,-actually said Peter, but i still hate him.

To Dumbledore,

Who was as human as Harry, but i still hate him

To Sirius,

who was punished for what he didn't do

To the hundreds that died needlessly,

To the many that died 'for the greater good',

To these brave souls I raise my glass,

May they forever Rest In Peace... (from the profile of 14hp1 and An Artists Account)

In Remembrance

…In Remembrance to Severus Snape….

….A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor…

...without all the red and gold crap.

…In Remembrance to Fred Weasley…

…Who fought bravely to the very end….

…And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half…

…And will loyally await his soul mate and brother…

… with many jokes…

...he's got forever to think of them, right?

…In Remembrance to Dobby…

…Who was more free and full of love…

...than any elf, and most humans.

….In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin….

...the last real Marauderer...

…who was not just a wonderful father…

….a incredible husband and brave hero…

...as well as a freakin' awesome werewolf.

….In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks…

…who died for ‘the greater good’…

...and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora.

…In Remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody….

…who’s motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive…

...and scared the crap out of some kids too.

…In Remembrance of Tom Marvelo Riddle a.k.a. Voldemort….

…who was pretty cool, and cute when he was younger…

…but who got his ass thoroughly kicked in the end

…In Remembrance of Albus Dumbledore…

…whose past and wisdom confused us…

…whose seeming betrayal shocked us…

…but actually who turned out to be an okay guy in the end...

...despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing and yet I still hate him

In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange…

… because it’s was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra! (No, she didn't!)

She deserved everything she got and more. (She did not!)

…In Remembrance of Colin Creevey…

…who we really didn’t know too well…

…but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war…

…so he must’ve done something good…

…besides stalking Harry.

…In Remembrance of Hedwig…

...Harry's actual first friend…

...who lived and died soaring.(from athe profile of 14hp1 and An Artists Account)

Why did you have to die?

Why did you have to change the world with your murdering pen, Jo?

Why?

Normal girls slap, insane ones punch, kick, break bones, kill... you get my drift.

INSANITY QUIZ!

I have made up this Insanity Quiz. please copy/paste to your profile. answer with yes and no answers.

1) Have you ever taught a parrot, or attempted to, teach a parrot HP spells?

Yes

2) Have you ever had a staring contest with a Parrot/fish/snake?

yep. The parrot won.

3) do you believe in a difference of insanity and stupidity?

Yes

4) Do you mostly hate things because others think it's cool?

yes. there's vampires, werewolves, older Remus...

5) Do you like talking in british accents because no one can understand them?

yeah. i've got a great accent...

6) Do you decipher alot of stuff to mean that you are a witch?

yes. Duh. OBVIOUSLY!

7) have you ever wondered if there's wi-fi on the top of the Eiffel Tower?

i think there is. I wish so, so I can live there...yes

8) Are you in love with a character from harry Potter?

yes. But I'm not telling you who...

9) would you go whooping and cheering if Justinette Beaver (Justin Bieber, who is a complete girl), Robert Pattinson, and Taylor lauthner jumped off a cliff onto POINTY rocks?

HALLELUJAH!

10) Have you ever wondered weather it's cold in a luggage compartment?

yes. and i would know if those bloody boys didn't crowd around it so i couldn't stick my hand in!

RESULTS!

if you answered yes to 1-3 answers... You have to work on your insanity, you're too NORMAL!

If you answered yes to 4-7... you're okay, but you need to top, unless you prefer BALANCED!

If you answered yes to 8-10... Congrats, You are Certifiably INSANE!

I'M 8-10! ME IS INSANE!

Join the army, visit exotic places, meet strange people then kill them.

"Be a loser because 'cool' is overrated"

"Well behaved women rarely make history"

"Fail with Honour rather than Succeed by Fraud" wow, that's deep.

If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

What disease did cured ham have?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do alarm clocks "go off" when they start making noise?

Why do we yell "Heads up!" when we should be yelling "Heads down!"?

How can something be both "new" and "improved"?

Why do we shut up, but quiet down?

How did the "Keep Off the Grass" sign get there in the first place?

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

So what's the speed of dark?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

If you can't beat them, confuse them.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Life is just one bad thing after another. Unless it's a bunch of bad things all at once.

If you get good grades and still don't know anything at all copy this onto your profile

First law of science: don't spit into the wind

May your life be like toilet paper - long and useful!

theres always a light at the end of a tunnel just pray its not a train!

take my advice i dont use it anyway

Jealousy is a wasted emotion. Which is why I recycle!

What does really suck? A giraffe with pain in his neck

Don't be open-minded, your brains might fall out

Homework? Do I pay school money to work at home!?

Smile and the world smiles with you. Fart and you stand alone

When cows laugh, does milk come out of their nose

There are some that are wise and others that are otherwise

You'll never get rid of a bad temper by losing it!

1 out of 6 people are insane. except when you're friends with me and my friends, then 6 out of 6 people are insane.

Reality is more fun when you make it up

Words may hurt me, but sticks and stones will bounce off my force field

So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?

I've heard that its possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it.

When in doubt, make up words!

Ask no questions and I will tell no lies.

You say I'm not cool. Cool is just another word for cold. If I'm not Cold then I'm Hot. I know I'm Hot. Thank You for embracing it!

I'm not insensitive, I just dont care

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder.

What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

On a scale of one to awesome, that was purple.

"Help! I've fallen and I can't -- Hey! Nice carpet!"

I'm not afraid of death. What's it gonna to do? Kill me?

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Rules are like paperclips. Meant to hold things together, fun to bend, and easy to twist out of shape.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true.

Eat right, exercise, die anyway.

Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.

"At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote."

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop

If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights do make a left

Everybody makes mistakes, thats why they put erasers on pencils

The road to success is always under construction

By the time you read this, you've already read it

The higher you are, the farther you fall... so keep yur job at burger king!

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

"Pretty girls turn heads. Me and my girls break necks" XD

"Brilliant brunette with many blonde moments"

Old enough to know better, but to young not to care"

"Always give 100% percent at work...12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday" ;D

"Cinderella walked on broken glass, Sleeping Beauty let a life time pass, Belle fell in love with a beast, Jasmine chose a poor man, Ariel spent her life on land. We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly"

"Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot your revenge"

We know Kung Fu...And 20 other dangerous words

Girl 1 - "Heyyy! That's my EX-Boyfriend!" Girl 2 - "Relaaaaaax! I'm just recycling!"

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

I am generally very brave. Today, I just happen to have a headache.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history

I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.

I've heard that it's possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it.

I asked my teacher if I'd get in trouble for something I didn't do. She said of course not, so I told her I didn't do my homework

"We may not make good decisions But hell, we make good stories."

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells."

It's you and me against the world...we attack at dawn.

Being mature is overrated.

Slinky Escalator = Endless fun!

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realise you're wrong.

I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

Have you ever been walking down the street and realised that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

Bad decisions make good stories.

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

Gryffindor (The biggest heros in HP history as far as we know):

1. Welcome to Gryffindor, a Weasley has probably slept in your bed.

2. Gryffindors: Brave to the point of Idiocy.

3. Gryffindor: Because we blur the line between bold and stupid every time.

4. The beautiful, the brave and the bold.

5. Gryffindor: I'll kick your ass.

6. I'm in Gryffindor, you're in Gryffindor- let's hug!!

7. Gryffindor: because we get enough exercise just pushing our luck.

8. No excuses, rule breaking is customary.

9. Gryffindors are attention whores.

Slytherin (The Junior Death Eaters):

1. We aren't all evil... yeah, we are.

2. Cunning and Ambition: Slytherin.

3. Go ahead, be a little naughty.

4. Slytherin: We have chained boys in the dungeons.

5. Slytherin: Because our common room is underwater (and that's cool).

6. It's not that we aren't better than you (except it totally is).

7. Why be normal? Or good?

8. We are Junior Death Eaters. Deal with it.

9. Slytherin: means never having to say you're sorry.

10. Seriously evil wizard coming through.

11. I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest.

12. Slytherins do it on Snape's desk.

13. Voldemort needs prision bitches.

14. Because real friends help you Incendio the bodies.

15. Property of the Half-Blood Prince.

16. We're only wearing black until something darker comes along.

17. Don't hate us beacuse we're beautiful, hate us because we kick your ass at everything.

18. Never wound what can kill you.

Hufflepuff (Some of the best people you'll ever meet):

1. I'm planning your death but in a happy way.

2. Brace youself- I'm going to hug you.

3. Nobody ever suspects the Hufflepuff.

4. You may be smarter, cooler, and better, but we still think you suck.

5. You think we're nice? That's cute...

6. Nowhere in the song does it say we're nice.

7. The love of a Hufflepuff was the only love good enough for Neville.

8. Hufflepuff: We kill you with smiles and rainbows.

9. All we got was Cedric... and that didn't turn out so good, did it?

10. Hufflepuffs kick ass too.

11. Hufflepuff: Formerly known as the party house.

12. Hufflepuffs know how to party.

13. Hufflepuff: We have cupcakes. Need we say more?

14. Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.

15. Hufflepuffs are Particularly good finders.

Ravenclaw (The smartest house with the only ones who don't blow themselves up):

Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure.

1. I don't need romance, I have goldfish.

2. A room without books is like a body without a soul.

3. I can kill you with my brain.

4. Ravenclaw pride. Be afraid.

5. It's not that we are smarter than you (except it totally is).

6. I'm a Ravenclaw, which clearly means I am elligable to boast about my intellegence level in your face.

7. Ravenclaw: beacuse we know every insult in the book. (Get it, their smart and they know every insult in the book!)

8. Ravenclaw: geeks shall inherit the earth.

9. Ravenclaw: Dangerously over-educated. (Seriously over-educated.)

10. Ravenclaw: Tact enough for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.

11. Ravenclaw: because everyone else is just dumb

. 50 ways to annoy voldemort»reviews

she's outrageous! she funny! she positively loves annoying voldie! and she's...ALICE! R&R if you love bothering people to the bursting point! it may be over-used, but new ways! c'mon, you know you want to read it!

Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 50 - Words: 9,300 - Reviews: 122 - Updated: 6-26-11 - Published: 2-28-11 - Voldemort & OC - Complete not my story but its halariouse

What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:

When she walks away from you mad, follow her When she stares at your mouth, kiss her When she pushes you or hits you, grab her and don’t let go When she starts cussing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her When she's quiet, she's thinking of how to say I love you. When she ignores you, give her your attention When she pulls away, pull her back When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful When you see her start crying, just hold her and don’t say a word When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind When she's scared, protect her When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her When she steals your favorite hat, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand When she grabs at your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does When she misses you, she's hurting inside When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go When she says she's ok, don’t believe it, talk with her, because 10 yrs later she'll remember you Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her, call her before you sleep and after you wake up Treat her like she's all that matters to you Tease her and let her tease you back Stay up all night with her when she's sick Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid Give her the world, let her wear your clothes When she's bored and sad, hang out with her, let her know she's important Kiss her in the pouring rain When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Whose ass am I kicking babe?"

Guys aren't Worth your tears, and the one that is won't make you cry.

WHY DO BOYS FALL IN LOVE WITH GIRLS?? aww this is so sweet even though im a girl!! :D

So sweet, please don't break! :)

1. They will always smell good even if it's just shampoo.

2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder.

3. How cute they look when they sleep.

4. The ease in which they fit into our arms .

5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world.

6. How cute they are when they eat.

7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while.

8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside.

9. The way they look good no matter what they wear.

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful girl on this earth.

11. How cute they are when they argue.

12. The way her hand always finds yours.

13. The way they smile.

14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight.

15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later...

16. The way that they kiss after you have had a fight.

17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you".

18. Actually...Just the way they kiss you...

19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry.

20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly.

21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt.

22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt (even though we don't admit it).

23. The way they say "I miss you".

24. The way you miss them.

25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore...

Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, no paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.

Random Poems

As the sun rises, the moon must go.As the stars grow brighter, the terror grows.

Once Again Once the moon lies down its headOnce the stars can go to bed Once the sun brings new days lightOnce again I draw out of sight Once again the new day comesOnce the song of new days sung Once the moon comes out to shineOnce the sun is out of line Once the stars can come with me Once again I return to thee Once again I try to see Once again I can go with thee Once I see you face to faceOnce I know you cant escape Once I turn to you and seeOnce I know that you love meLaughter Fear is not what it should be,Not the side of harmony. Love is side to hate and fear,Love is short but still is here. Joy is hope, and love, and life,Joy is smart to have inside. Laughter, smiles, joy, and fun,Laughter brings smiles to everyone.

Flowers

Pink flowers , or a Red Red rose,The choice is hard but now I know. Red flowers, or a Pink Pink rose,Now I know not ether so. My choice is clear on white as snow. One rose I say with babies breath,One white as snow with no regrets.

Emotions

Hope, love, joy, and fear,Emotions sad and glad are here. Tell me this or that but still,Emotions still are here until. Laughter, smiles, joy, and fun,Anger, fear, and sadness done.

As the sun rises, the moon must go.

As the stars grow brighter, the terror grows.

Once Again

Once the moon lies down its head

Once the stars can go to bed

Once the sun brings new days light

Once again I draw out of sight

Once again the new day comes

Once the song of new days sung

Once the moon comes out to shine

Once the sun is out of line

Once the stars can come with me

Once again I return to thee

Once again I try to see

Once again I can go with thee

Once I see you face to face

Once I know you cant escape

Once I turn to you and see

Once I know that you love me

Laughter

Fear is not what it should be,

Not the side of harmony.

Love is side to hate and fear,

Love is short but still is here.

Joy is hope, and love, and life,

Joy is smart to have inside.

Laughter, smiles, joy, and fun,

Laughter brings smiles to everyone.

Flowers

Pink flowers , or a Red Red rose,

The choice is hard but now I know.

Red flowers, or a Pink Pink rose,

Now I know not ether so.

My choice is clear on white as snow.

One rose I say with babies breath,

One white as snow with no regrets.

Emotions

Hope, love, joy, and fear,

Emotions sad and glad are here.

Tell me this or that but still,

Emotions still are here until.

Laughter, smiles, joy, and fun,

Anger, fear, and sadness done.

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run -- run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "SNAP!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds bottoms that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this!

Well, I guess I'm a best friend. Are you?

WHY DO BOYS FALL IN LOVE WITH GIRLS?? aww this is so sweet even though im a girl!! :D

So sweet, please don't break! :)

1. They will always smell good even if it's just shampoo.

2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder.

3. How cute they look when they sleep.

4. The ease in which they fit into our arms .

5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world.

6. How cute they are when they eat.

7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while.

8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside.

9. The way they look good no matter what they wear.

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful girl on this earth.

11. How cute they are when they argue.

12. The way her hand always finds yours.

13. The way they smile.

14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight.

15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later...

16. The way that they kiss after you have had a fight.

17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you".

18. Actually...Just the way they kiss you...

19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry.

20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly.

21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt.

22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt (even though we don't admit it).

23. The way they say "I miss you".

24. The way you miss them.

25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore...

Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed

The dead cannot cry out for justice; it is a duty of the living to do so for them.

'For God so loved the world he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world but to save the world through him.' -John 3:16-17.

'For it is by grace that you have been saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God, not by works, so that no one can boast.' Ephesians 2: 8-9

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, no paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.

Fear cannot touch me. It can only taunt me, it cannot take me away, just tell me where to go. I can either follow, or stay in my bed. I can hold on to the things that I know. The dead stay dead, they cannot walk. The shadows are darkness. And darkness can’t talk.’- Almost Here

When she walks away from you mad, follow her When she stare's at your mouth, Kiss her When she pushes you or hit's you, Grab her and dont let go When she start's cussing at you, Kiss her and tell her you love her When she's quiet, Ask her what's wrong When she ignore's you, Give her your attention When she pull's away, Pull her back When you see her at her worst, Tell her she's beautiful When you see her start crying, Just hold her and dont say a word When you see her walking, Sneak up and hug her waist from behind When she's scared, Protect her When she lay's her head on your shoulder, Tilt her head up and kiss her When she steal's your favorite hat, Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night When she tease's you, Tease her back and make her laugh When she doesnt answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay When she look's at you with doubt, Back yourself up When she say's that she like's you, she really does more than you could understand When she grab's at your hands, Hold her's and play with her fingers When she bump's into you, bump into her back and make her laugh When she tell's you a secret, keep it safe and untold When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does When she misses you, she's hurting inside When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything. When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her Call her before you sleep and after you wake up Treat her like she's all that matters to you. Tease her and let her tease you back Stay up all night with her when she's sick Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid Give her the world Let her wear your clothes When she's bored and sad, hang out with her Let her know she's important Kiss her in the pouring rain When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's ass am I kicking babe?" If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will : Call you. Kiss you. Love you. Text you


Text you.

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it’s gone.

I'm the kind of girl who would fall flat on my face, get up, laugh my head off, and say " That was fun!

“Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.”

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.”

Life isn’t passing me by, it’s trying to run me over.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

Did you know Sarcasm is your body’s natural defense against stupidity?

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hate that.

Paper may beat rock, but cannon ball make big hole in paper.

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Don’t follow me, I’m lost too.

This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob.

Definition of Your Mom: How to answer a question when you’re bored

Definition of homework: Some form of crude mind control still used in some primitive areas.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?

I’ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at people you hate.

It doesn’t matter whether the glass is half empty or half full just drink it and get it over with.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.

So what if we act like immature idiots? We’re having fun.

When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

Aren’t the ‘good things that come to those who wait’ just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out”?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Isn’t it funny how the word ‘politics’ is made up of the words ‘poli’ meaning ‘many’ in Latin, and ‘tics’ as in ‘bloodsucking creatures’?

Why isn’t chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Life sucks and then you die.

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

Why do people say, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too”? Why would someone get cake if they can’t eat it?

“When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade”

Don’t mess with me I’ve got a stick.

Darth Vader- "Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!" Luke Skywalker- "Nah, the rebels have cake." Darth Vader- "ooh! Can I be a rebel?!"

I smile because I have no idea what’s going on!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Boys are like slinkies, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I’m the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n’ slide.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don’t obsess! I think intensely.

Of course I’m talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might wanna offend you later.

One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Sing “I’m Off to See the Wizard” when sent to the Headmasters office.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

All the good ones are gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

Stupid shiny Volvo owner.

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

“When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.”

“Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”

“Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else”

“Real girls aren’t perfect, perfect girls aren’t real.”

“I’d rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I’m not.”

“What is easy is not always right, and what is right is not always easy.”

A recent survey stated that the average person’s greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you’re telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

I’m not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Death is God’s way of saying “You’re fired.” Suicide is Human’s way of saying “You can’t fire me- I quit!”

“He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron.”

“If you know me, chances are you hate me.”

Shut up voices or I’ll poke you with a fork

If at first you don’t succeed skydiving isn’t for you.

Those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them.

Set sail in a general that way direction.

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

I’m sick of following my dreams, I’m just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later.

Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in you face?

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go.

Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it

I'm a part of the ANTI HADES HATERS club, copy and paste on to your profile, add your name to the list SweetyamiyugigirlHappyfish and tell DaughterofPoseidon32498 that you did! GO HADES!!

Girl #1- I love Greek Mytholagy

Girl #2- I hate mytholagy

Girl #1- Do you like to learn?

Girl #2- Not really

Girl #1- Do you like school?

Girl #2- No.

Girl #1- Do you like to read?

Girl #2- Yes

Girl #1- Congrates your one step above moron, two steps above dumass and one step below ideot. But your a hundred miles from smart and a thousend light years from genus.

I hate when people say Hades is the devil! If you actully read Greek Myths he is the god of death meaning good and bad people go to him when they die. He is not evil, he is strict but fair. "But he kidnapped Persephone." Well if you were surrounded by the dead all the time wouldnt you want someone to love and one of the most beutiful people to lighten up the place. The underworld probably got lonly and a three headed dog and the dead are not that great of coversaion holder

"First, nobody can be like you. You're insane. In fact, insane people even call you insane." -Bakura: Demons and Angels by Zyrx

O.o this totally creeped me out and I believe in stuff like this, bad enough, I already think something is my apartment already:

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Lucillia

WHAT A KISS MEANS

Kiss on the stomach = "I'm ready" Kiss on the Forehead = "I hope we're together forever" Kiss on the Ear = "You're my everything" Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends" Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you" Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together" Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you" Kiss on the Lips = "I love you"

What the gesture means... Holding Hands = "We definitely love each other" Slap on the Butt = "That's mine" Holding on tight = "I don't want to let go" Looking into each other's Eyes = "I just plain love you" Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me" Arms around the Waist = "I love you too much to let go" Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you" picking someone up off their feet = "That they love them fully and would do anything for them"

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food. REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food. (glares at friends... this is why i take so much food to school, cause i usually end up giving some to you guys anyway...)

-This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. -Lucillia

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs. REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn, that was fun. Let's do it again!"

FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry. REAL FRIENDS: Kick the ass of whatever made you cry.

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. REAL FRIENDS: Keep your junk so long they forget its yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door. REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile. REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough. REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Come on, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you. REAL FRIENDS: Will kick their ass to hell and out!

FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with the most vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE FRIENDS: Say no when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. REAL FRIENDS: Talk on the phone or come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it

Come on, Harry, let's go on an adventure

Wow! You are handmade by God…that is amazing!

hi i love dolphins and wolves

20 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity:

1: At lunch time, sit in you car with sunglasses on and point a hair dry at passing cars; see if they slow down

2: Page yourself over the intercom. Do not disguise your voice.

3: Every time some one asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that

4: Put you garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"

5: Put decaf in the coffee maker (home or work). When everyone gets over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso

6: In your memo book, on all your checks, put "FOR SMUGGLING DIAMONDS"

7: Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance To The Prophecy"

8: Dont use any punctuation

9: As often as possible, skip instead of walking

10: Order diet water whenever you go out with a serious face

11: Specify that your drive-thru order is "TO GO"

12: Sing along at the opera

13: Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme

14: Put mosquito netting around your work area (or room) and play tropical sounds all day

15: 5 days in advance, tell your friend that you can't go to their party cause you don't 'feel like it'

16: Have friends or coworkers address you by your wrestling name "Rock Bottom"

17: When the cash comes out of the ATM yell, "I WON, I WON"

18: When exiting the zoo, start running toward the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives they're loose"

19: Tell your children (or younger sibling) that "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go"

20: And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity is... Copy this and put it on your profile

VERY overdone... Read anyway?

You studied with Hermione. You stumbled with Ron. You hid creatures with Hagrid. You laughed with Fred and George. You fought with Voldemort. You forgot with Neville. You got caught with the DA. You rebelled against Umbridge and Snape. You cheered on Gryffindor and wept over cedric . You kept up the rivalry with Draco Malfoy and the Slytherins. You wanted to kill Dumbledore. You stuck with Harry til the end. Now it’s nearly over, and now all you can do is remember, and thank J.K. Rowling for the time of your life.

REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):

1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)

2. Meet the recruitment bunny!

3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!

4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!

5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!

6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!

7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?

8. WORLD DOMINATION! BEST reason!

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions: "Put on fork and eat." (No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with colds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

On a pack of waterballons: Children under 8 years can choke or suffocate or broken ballons. (So if i'm older than 8 i won't choke.)

The sorting hat says that I belong in hufflepuff!

Said Gryffindor, "We'll teach all those with brave deeds to their name."Students of Gryffindor are typically brave, daring, and chivalrous. Famous members include Harry, Ron, Hermione, Albus Dumbledore (head of Hogwarts), and Minerva McGonagall (head of Gryffindor).

the sorting hat said i should go in all houses but i demanded hufflepuff cause there an awesome house and are very loyale not oh i love you one day hate you the next like the rest of hogwarts

I do love the Twilight Saga, but after reading Fanfic's, the books seem rather basic and boring to me now.

Hello people! :)

Just a warning, my updates may become more distant because I'm revising and studying for my exams and are sitting them in a few weeks. Please can people lay off the IM's about me updating! I have enough people cramming texts and work down my throat as it is! I come on here to relax...

Relax people, no get bombarded with messages threateneding bodily harm if I don't update immediately!

Anyway, that was my vent.

I do now have a blog though - h t t p : / / elementofmind . blogspot . com /

Of course without all the spaces. If any of you want updates about any of the stories just post something on there. I'll post my progress and you may realise why I'm taking so long with my writing...

xxxx

Strange and random things that made me laugh...

Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?

If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.

Don't knock on death's door, ring the doorbell and run- he hates that!

My knight in shining turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

It's better to keep quiet and let someone think you're stupid, than to open your mouth and prove it.

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious

If you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!

OMG! i think i just saw a flying bird!

let me write that down in my 'things i dont really give f about' notebook.

yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.

i speak fluent sarcasm.

are yhu stoned or just stupid.!

I don't obsess, I think intensely!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda."

I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.

"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."

"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important; school however, is another matter.

I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?

There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.

High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.

I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

I do not deny everything!

Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go into storage.

Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over...

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

The road to success is always under construction.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape

Don't take life to serously, no one gets out alive anyway

I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!

SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...

If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends

Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do

Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died

Everyone Is Entitled To Their Own Opinion, It Just That Your's Is Stupid

Man Invented Language To Satisfy Their Deep Need To Complain

Magic is the stuff Science hasn't made boring yet!

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

"Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for."

"Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you."

"If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words."

Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads :P

I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Something else that i laughed at :D

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Frito's! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?

If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable?

Why is it the TWELVE days of Christmas when there is only one day of Christmas?

Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?

If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?

When a boy is named after his dad, he is called 'Junior,' but what do you call a girl that is named after her mother?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do?

More funny things i found :D These aren't mine by the way XD

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

15. The day you don't wash your hair is the day you meet a cute boy.

Even more stuff that made me think and laugh at the same time :D

Do not run in the school hall, gliding is more fun.

Officer, I swear to Drunk I am not God!

When life gives you lemons, spit the lemons in life's eyes.

Enjoying the "Great Outdoors" would be better if it were great.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

My heart? Yeah. It's not a playground.

Tears wash the windows of our souls so we can see ourselves more clearly. -Exodus 19:5

Oops! I appear to have fallen on your lips.

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at one thing: Staying Strong.

Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and lose that's weird.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit! (OMC! Carlisle!)

Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it all. And then some you don't want. -Daughtry

Of course it's in the last place you look for it. Why in hell would you keep looking for it if you already found it.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember he was looking back.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door.

Silence is golden but duck tape is silver

You know it's a bad day when you fall out of bed and you miss the floor.

Behind every bitch there's a guy that made her that way.

Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die, and your mom say you can still keep it.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Dance like no one's watching. Sing like no one's listening.

Sometimes you've got to smile and walk away... Hold your tears in and pretend like you're okay.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

Don't yawn in the shower. You might drown. -Bill Cosby

I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.

Slinky Escalator = Endless fun

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

Therapist = The/rapist (scary thought -shudder-)

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...

I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.

I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy! -Dory from Finding Nemo

I can resist anything but temptation.

They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

One day we're going to look back at this, laugh nervously, then change the subject.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide.

I don't obsess, I think intensely.

Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.

Funny !!

It's funny how 'hello' is always accompanied with 'goodbye'. It's funny how good memories always make you cry. It's funny how forever never seems to really last. It's funny how'd much you'd lose if you forgot your past. It's funny how "friends" can just leave you when your down. It's funny how when you need someone they're never around. It's funny how people forgive, even when they can't forget. It's funny how one night, can contain so much regret. It's funny how ironic life turns out to be. But the funniest part of all? None of that's funny to me.

by Unknown

Twilight Oath I promise to remember Bella Each time I carelessly fall down And I promise to remember Edward Whenever I'm out of town I promise to obey traffic laws For Charlies sake of course And I promise to remember Jacob When my heart fills with remorse I promise to remember Carlisle When ever I am in the Emergency Room And I promise to remember Emmett Every time there's a huge boom I promise to to remember Rose Whenever I see someone that holds pure beauty And I promise to remember Alice When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me I promise to remember Nessie When I see that beautiful curly hair And I promise to remember Esme When someone tells me they care I promise to remember Jasper Whenever my emotions are unfurled And I promise to remember the Volturi When someone speaks of dominating the world Yes I promise to love Twilight Wherever I may go So that all may see my obsession Because I know what the Twilighters know

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball. Copy and paste this into your profile

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, when I grew up I was BLACK, when I'm sick I'm BLACK, when I go into the sun I'm BLACK, when I'm cold I'm BLACK, when I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, when you're born you're PINK, when you grow up you're WHITE, when you're sick, you're GREEN, when you go in the sun you turn RED, when you're cold you turn BLUE and when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored? Post this on your profile if you hate racism.

If you want world peace, a brighter future, and more chocolate, paste this into your profile.

If you've ever laughed so hard tears streamed down your face, you banged your head repeatedly on a table, and received weird looks from everyone in the immediate vicinity, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are time when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this 'ice ice _'
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies
Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever!
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Mortal Kombat was awesome--the game and the movie
Carebears
Gak was the coolest stuff invented.
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
You had to read Weekly Reader's in class.
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before MIKE JONES . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkmans.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
When you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket.
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things.

If you are against all form's of animal abuse and don't agree with the Fur trade and cutting down forrests which are home to an indiginous or rare species post this on your page!!

If you are against cock fighting, dog fighting, hunting and mistreatment of Animals and think people who enjoy these sports are sick and cruel post this on your page!!

REMEMBER WHEN ..
getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?
when )m 0 m( was your hero
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings
and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.

Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now

i heard there was a secret cord that david played and it pleased the Lord

but you dont really care bout music do ya

it goes like this the 4th the 5th

the minor fall and the major lift

the baffled king composing hallelughya

Isn't it funny that when you go to the shops with your friends you look down at the girl with black jeans and studs but smile at the girl wearing a mini with a tshirt that barely cover anything?

Isn't it funny you can change your music taste to impress a guy but when it comes to a girl who likes her own music and her own style, you give her a mouthful?

ISN'T IT FUNNY that a guy can get away with being a gangsta but the emo gets a mouthful from everyone? are you laughing?

Isn't it funny a emo can be quiet all through the week but gets more shit from everyone than the girl who sleeps around and sells her virginity?

ISN'T IT FUNNY that you don't mind your friends drinking, smoking but the minute someone mentions emo music you can give them a lecture on melodramatic teenage outcasts?

I'm not laughing.

ITS SO FUNNY that you and your friends can make a girls life hell and not know anything about the silent battle she might be fighting.

ISN'T IT FUNNY that you can call emo's, punks, goths the retards but still manage to get through your day without an inch of guilt in your heart.

HOW YOU CAN CALL A GIRL A POSER, HOW CAN YOU SAY "YOUR NOT EMO" OR "ATTENTION SEEKER" WITHOUT SPENDING A SECOND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THERE ARE CUTS ON HER WRISTS AND WHY SHE SPENDS HER LUNCHTIMES CRYING INSTEAD OF LAUGHING WITH HER FRIENDS? KEEP ON LAUGHING!

isn't it funny you can say and do all this without any idea of what is going on in this persons life without knowing her situation with her friends or her family or her LIFE!

BRAVE ISN'T GOING UP ON STAGE AND STRIPPING!

BRAVE IS NOT SAYING A SPEECH OR DUMPING YOUR BOYFRIEND!

BRAVE IS GOING TO SCHOOL ON MUFTI DAY AND NOT FOR A SECOND CARE WHAT THE WORLD AROUND YOU IS SAYING ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES. ITS LISTENING TO YOUR OWN MUSIC AND BEING PROUD OF IT!

ITS GOING THROUGH EVERY DAY WITH THE THINGS PEOPLE SAY TO YOUR FACE AND BEHIND YOUR BACK AND YOU STILL KEEP QUIET. ITS KNOWING WHAT YOUR "FRIENDS" ARE SAYING ABOUT YOU AND STILL CALLING THEM YOUR FRIENDS!

BRAVE IS KNOWING THAT TOMORROW ISN'T A BRIGHT AND HAPPY FUTURE ITS ANOTHER DAY OF COMPLAINING AND DODGING RUMORS! KEEP ON LAUGHING.

if you agree put this on your profile and advise others to do the same

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Archangel's Requiem, Lady Sakura of the Fated,Soul Stance, Raven Wolfmoon, iheartmwpp, dracosnumber1girl, SMARTALIENQT, Luthien Saralonde, Xiaahandrus, Zenerific1, narutoyaoifan(everyday for the last 3 months), Ryu Pendragon, CindyPanther (Everyday since I found fanfiction), JasperAlecLuver (Same as CindyPanther. Everyday since I found fanfiction),

Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead,

who keeps your picture in his wallet,

who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,

who holds your hand in front of all his friends,

who thinks your beautiful without makeup,

one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,

THE one who turns to his friends and says THAT'S HER!

!eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

America: Do I ever cross your mind?

England: No

America: Do you like me?

England: No

America: Do you want me?

England: No

America: Would you cry if I left

England: No

America: Would you live for me?

England: No

America: Would you do anything for me?

England: No

America: Choose--me or your life

England: My life

America runs away in shock and pain and England runs after him and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile

Hush, little sister

Please don't cry

I wish I could be there

To sing you a lullaby

I can see your arms

Bloodied and bruised

That's strange, little sister

Mine were like that too

I know you scream

When Daddy's there

Hush, little sister

I know you're scared

I can see the way

He's hurting you

I'm sorry, little sister

He did that to me too

I know that people

Ignore what's going on at home

That makes me angry, little sister

You shouldn't have to be alone

Hey, little sister

You wanna know why I'm not there?

It's a sad story, little sister

But people should care

You see, little sister

One day Daddy got high

You were asleep in your crib

So you didn't hear my cry

He screamed at me

And smashed my head against the door

While you slept, little sister

I died on the floor

You know, little sister

I don't think that I would have died

If someone had only bothered

To listen to my cries

But hush, little sister

Daddy's coming home

Quick, get into bed

You don't want him to find you alone

I'm sorry little sister

He's in a bad mood

Run while you can

Uh oh little sister

He's lifting his belt

Scream while you can, little sister

Call for help

Hush little sister

You don't need to cry

No one can hurt you

You're in my arms tonight.

--Unknown.

CHILD ABUSE IS SICK AND WRONG. PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE IF YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY.

I have a sudden feeling to say something random.

Thumbs up if you like the Cookie Monster!

Om nom nom nom!

Elmo rocks too!

ONE DAY A DAD COMES HOME DRUNK AND MAD. HE PULLS OUT A GUN AND SHOOTS HIS WIFE AND THEN TURNS THE GUN ON HIMSELF. HIS LITTLE GIRL SITS BEHIND THE COUCH CRYING. THE POLICE CAME AND TOOK THE LITTLE GIRL TO A NEW FAMILY. HER FIRST DAY TO SUNDAY SCHOOL SHE WALKS INTO THE BUILDING AND SEES A PICTURE OF JESUS ON THE CROSS.

THE LITTLE GIRL ASKS THE TEACHER: How did that man get off the cross?

THE TEACHER REPLIED: He never did.

THE LITTLE GIRL ARGUED: Yes he did when mommy and daddy fought he sat next to me behind the couch telling me everything was gonna be alright...

66 of u won't repost this. BUT REMEMBER THE BIBLE SAID, ''DENY JESUS IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS AND I WILL DENY YOU IN FRONT OF MY FATHER."Repost this IF YOUR NOT ASHAMED. Let God's love spread

At least 90% of humans would not run down the halls of School screaming 'OH MY JASHIN! JASPER IS COMING!' because you gave yourself a papercut on your finger. If you are part of the 10% who would (and I love you if you would) copy & paste this onto your profile and add your name to the list: AkatsukiAngel1, macymay201, JasperAlecLuver

Navel Officer Brittany of Jasper Whitlock's new Born Army Troop number 0001

I'm betting on Alice, unless she leaves Jasper. Then I'm betting I get Jasper.

Bella picks Edward. Rose saves Emmett.. Alice, nope she doesn't deserve Jasper. Hince the reason I'm taking him instead.

Summitt Entertainment: You mean to tell me that JACKSON RATHBONE could have been Edward but instead you let some ingnoramice director cast Robpattz bcuz he and Kstew can make out on a bed? Way to throw my love for Edward down the drain more.

Jackson Rathbone: The real Edward Cullen

Kellan Lutz: Yeah, he can be Carlile in the Twilight remakes, but untill then I'll take him as my own personal Emmett who is required to hug me everyday and tell me he loves me.

You say Jackson I say Edward! Jackson! Edward! Jackson! Edward! Why can't my dreams be recognized!

Soooo Alice told me if I stood here long enough Jasper would fall from the sky, cover me with kisses, and then marry me.. I've been waiting since the movie version of Twilight came out.. Where is he?

Edward Cullen: Obssesive, overcontroling, vampire stalker or loving boyfriend? You decide.

You see children, Cedric didn't die, he simple ran to Forks, Washington, convienced Carlisle Cullen to turn him into a vampire, and changed his name to Edward Cullen. Don't believe me? Read/Watch Twilight.

Rose isn't you're angel Emmett! I am!

Jasper and I got into a tickle fight! I let him win because I wanted those kisses Emmett promised the loser!

Edward told me he could read my thoughts, so I let him have a piece of my mind, "you iagnoramice! you left bella and let her fall for a dog then decided, "oh boy I'm gonna kill myself! In Italy!" Idiot.. Although, I do give you mad props for deciding on Italy and the Volturi."

Can you say Edward? (screams: Jackson Rathbone!)

I had a dream. Jackson Rathbone was Edward and I was Bella; then I woke up.. I wish I didn't.

I had a dream about Edward, luckily I woke up and realized Jasper was the one I should dream about.

If only Jake was a vampire.. Then he'd be perfect. Oh wait, perfection already exsist and his name is NOT Edward Anthony Mason Cullen. It's Jasper Whitlock Hale Cullen.

Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, but Jasper can sit in a corner all by himself and still make everyone feel jealous.

Because I'm the weird kid, and always will be.

Because I never give up on dreams.

Because I have an over active imagination.

Because I want to be different.

Because I'm a fangirl.

Because I dance like I can when I can't.

Because I'm in love with Jackson Rathbone/ Jasper Whitlock.

Because I wish I were an amazing author.

Because I'm religous.

Because I like Spanish love poetry.

Because I'm a romantic.

Because I love British Accents.

Because I read.

Because I'm a fanpire.

Because I invented the word "bitchwolf" to describe Leah.

Because I never said you had to like me.

Because I like the Spanish language.

Because I play the piano, the flute, and sing.

Because I love English.

Because I love love.

Because I write.

Because this is who I am.

"Dude, where's my phone?! Like seriously? I just had it, I swear!"

"Caaallm down."

"How can I be calm? I can't find my phone!"

"Dude, you're talking to me on your phone right now!"

Brunette: HIDE! THERE'S A SERIAL KILLER ON THE LOOSE!!!

Blonde: OH NOS!!!! *runs to kitchen*

Brunette: WHAT ARE YOU DOING??

Blonde: HIDING MY FRUIT LOOPS! WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE IM DOING! (Hehe, no offense to you Blondes out there)

Don't you hate it when you're texting lying down on your bed and all of a sudden your phone decides to be ninja and slips through your hands and attacks your face?

A student comes to a young professor's office. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean.." she whispers, "..I would do ANYTHING!!" He returns her gaze. "Anything??" "Yes,.. Anything!" She says. His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you.. study??" (I MEAN COME ON SHE REALLY DIDN'T THINK OF THAT WOW!!!!!!!)

A good friend would go to the drug store to buy you a pregnancy test but a best friend would stand outside the bathroom door yelling, "NAME IT AFTER ME!"

Teacher: "Have you done your homework?" Student: "Have you graded my test?" Teacher: "No, I have other student's stuff to grade" Student: "I have other teacher's homework to do"

"Yesterday was Thursday, today it is Friday, tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday comes afterward"...thank god she pointed it out to us, we'd never have known...

Grandpa: When i was your age my momma would send me down to the store with $1 and I would come back with 5 bags of potatoes 2 loaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk a box of tea and 6 eggs but you cant do that these days too many stupid security cameras.

O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weathered every rack, the prize we sought is won;
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:

But O heart! heart! heart!

O the bleeding drops of red,

Where on the deck my Captain lies,

Fallen cold and dead.

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills;
For you bouquets and ribboned wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding;
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;

Here Captain! dear father!

This arm beneath your head;

It is some dream that on the deck,

You've fallen cold and dead.

My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still;
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;
The ship is anchored safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip, the victor ship, comes in with object won;

Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells!

But I, with mournful tread,

Walk the deck my Captain lies,

Fallen cold and dead.

But O heart! heart! heart!
no more cold or drops of red,
My captain stands and no longer lies,
He's come back from the dead."

Copy and paste this into your profile if when you were young... There were only 150 Pokemon. Digimon was popular. Yugi-Oh actually had Yugi in it. You didn't get weird looks when you went Trick-or-Treating. Nobody cared what you looked like. Hamtaro ROCKED. Catching a pidgeon was cool. Pirates before Pirates of the Carribean. Nobody knew how to spell 'Volcano'. Pinky and the brain were cartoon characters, not body parts. Saying 'moron' was a swear word. Fire was considered dangerous. The only thing you had to worry about were cooties. Cursive writing was just a bunch of swirly lines. Multiplication was scary. Dora the Explorer and that goddamned monkey who follows her EVERYWHERE didn't exist. The first Harry Potter was the coolest thing since sliced bread. If you were, copy and paste then write your name. Catemonster, Angel Dumott Schunard Collins, Palinana, Kaz-za-15, Taijiya Mizu, DarkBombayAngel, archangelraphaelsdaughter, Erikroolsall, NinjaLadyJae, TheSapphireRainAlchemist The-One-Who-Reads-The-HP-Books.

Harry Potter vs Twilight

In Harry Potter if vampires walk into the sun they die. In Twilight if vampires walk into the sun they sparkle.

In Harry Potter werewolves are awesome and actually kill people. In Twilight werewolves are pedophiles.

In Harry Potter the main character travels to a magical school in Scotland. In Twilight the main character has a 109 year old virgin watching them sleep.

In Harry Potter the villan is a bald guy with a snake called Voldemort. In Twilight the villan is a blonde guy who tried to kill someone in a ballet school.

In Harry Potter the main character choses the hot ginger over the emotional chinese girl. In Twilight the main character chooses the sparkling vampire over the sexy werewolf with abs.

In Harry Potter when the man Hermione Granger loved left her she continued to search for the horcruxes so they could defeat Voldemort and save the wizarding world. In Twilight when the man Bella loved left her she went numb for months and then jumped of a cliff.

In Harry Potter Robert Patterson dies. In Twilight Robert Patterson lives.

Now try and tell me with a straight face that Twilight is better than Harry Potter, impossible isn't it. To bring this home I'll finish with a song

Jingle bells

Twilight smells

Edward ran away

Bella died

Jacob cried

POTTER ALL THE WAY!!!!!

Copy and paste if you think Harry Potter is better than Twilight.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Harry Potter (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Harry Potter is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you act completely, well, crazy and make a total fool of yourself and not even care. Crazy is when you dedicate your entire being (every cell in your body) to Harry Potter and fanfiction. Crazy is when you go into build-a-bear workshop and walk up to little kids saying "That's my favorite bear" in a creepy voice and then run like heck when their soccer-moms glare at you. Crazy is when you get jacked up on sugar on your school field trip to bush gardens, laugh for two hours straight WHILE riding roller coasters, then still laugh after you get slapped by your friends, and they pour a cold water on you, and you just stop suddenly, and when they asked why you laughed you say " I felt like it." Crazy is when for some strange reason your wardrobe scares you so you have to army roll to your bed from your door. Crazy is hopping to class, and when asked why, you blame it on the bunnies. Even if there were no bunnies. Crazy is when you get into the wrong car when being picked up after school. Crazy is when you like to read stories that make your cry. Crazy is when you spend a whole hour wondering how awesome you would be if you were a talking wizard pikachu who was married to Cedric Diggery. Crazy is when you are constantly making up new species like the Penguillamaroo and talking in third person and saying na no da at the ends of all your sentences just to throw people off and overusing the word "and" like it's going out of style. Crazy is when you pick up everything that you find on the ground, give it a name and talk to it. Crazy is when you go up to the Principal of your school and yell "Mars bars will rule the world and then they'll rape your children!". If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!


Random copy and pastes!

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have/ wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever yelled at an inatimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If that inatimate object now hates you more because you yelled at it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped on a person, copy this into your profile.

Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile.

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile. :D

If you have ever shouted out the first thing that comes to mind, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever thought you saw someone you knew on the street and ran up and hugged them only to find out they weren't who you thought they were, copy and paste this into your profile.

America is more than just an idiot, and he is more complex than the world gives him credit for.

Do not stereotype us or hate us just because you don't like someone who's different than you.

He's a superpower for a reason. (We made the Soviet Union back down in Cuba!)

America is the melting pot of nations. (Who else can say that?) (New York City, Los Angeles, San Francisco...)

We're still the only country to have put people on the Moon. (After 40 years!) (Fuck Russia's rover!)

If America falls, everyone else does too. (Hello, we buy/sell 1/4 of the world's resources!)

We invented Star Trek, which in turn led to the invention of a lot of the stuff we use today.

We know more about World History than the world knows about US History.

Why do more than a million people move to the US each year if we're such a terrible place?

Alfred F. Jones is fucking awesome, period.

Please post this in your profile if you agree, and add your name. Lapis Lazuli Ichigo, Ashynarr, I CALL ENGLAND HE IS MINE!.

Canada is not invisible; he is a bad-ass and even his brother knows it.

Just because Britain took credit for a lot of Canada's efforts doesn't mean he wasn't there.

Canada is the only Nation that America completely trusts to watch his back.

Canada invented walkies-talkies, Standard Time, pagers, telephones, jetliners, electric wheelchairs, prosthetic hands, the gas mask, sonar, basketball, IMAX, insulin, electron microscopes, G-suits, plexiglass, garbage bags, alkaline batteries, cardiac pacemakers, electric ovens, kerosene, egg cartons, snowmobiles, paint rollers, wood pulp paper, peanut butter, and, of course, ice hockey. Eat it bitches!

Canada has defeated the United States before. It was called the War of 1812 and it culminated in the White House being burned down by Canadian, not British troops. America is still embarrassed by it and skims over it in history classes.

Canada became an organized country in 1867 but did not gain his full independence until 1982. It was done quietly and without any bloodshed... unlike his brother.

Canada was in both World Wars from the beginning and contributed far more to the war effort than his brother.

They have free healthcare. And they've legalized marijuana and gay marriage.

Vimy Ridge - Germany is still afraid of Canada because of the ass-kicking he got from that.

Matthew Williams is amazing, and don't you forget it!

Please post this in your profile if you agree, and add your name. Ashynarr, I CALL ENGLAND HE IS MINE!.

MY MOTTO FOR LIFE!

MAKE PASTA, NOT WAR!!!
DIE, STEVE, DIE!!!

IF YOU HAVE MADE IT TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PROFILE WITHOUT LAUGHING OR SMILING OR CRYING THERE HAS GOT TO BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

If I Knew Then What I Know Now by What You See in the Shadows reviews
Given an opportunity to change his family's destiny, Dean Winchester finds himself back in 1983 as his four year old self, yet with his adult memories still intact. But can he alter the events of that tragic night? And if so, will young Dean, his family, and Castiel be ready to survive all the evil that destiny has in store for them? pre-series AU
Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Family - Chapters: 214 - Words: 550,129 - Reviews: 8671 - Favs: 1,649 - Follows: 1,841 - Updated: 7/24 - Published: 12/26/2012 - Sam W., Dean W., Castiel
Percy Jackson & The Avengers by praetorlupa reviews
After saving Tony Stark from a monster on a killing spree, Percy Jackson had reached the sightings of SHIELD. Confused of a boys actions they try getting Jackson to join their team. But would he dare show the world that Olympians exist? Would Percy, once again, make another sacrafice to save his loved ones? Some of the Avengers aren't making any of it easier for him to choose.
Crossover - Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 116,476 - Reviews: 961 - Favs: 1,178 - Follows: 1,593 - Updated: 7/5 - Published: 10/28/2012
Behind this Mask by Falling without You reviews
The 2nd great war was over. So life then reverted to what it once was for the countries and continued on. But one of them holds a secret, a secret that threatens to destroy them from the inside. Not wanting to hurt anyone they hide behind a mask of their own creation. But that mask is slipping, cracking quickly. Others who care can see this and want to help. Will he let them?
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 16 - Words: 21,067 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 3/1 - Published: 3/15/2013 - Germany, N. Italy, Prussia, Spain
Why You Don't Want A Howler by starlight1395 reviews
Matthew and his fellow Nations were sent to Hogwarts to learn to be more useful. Too bad their habits are obviously not normal! Some things are said, and people get suspicious. An old danger is rising up, and the students have to try and top it. How can a group of ragtag children and a group of foreigners save the world? Combination of all seven years.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 33,520 - Reviews: 163 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 158 - Updated: 12/28/2014 - Published: 1/28/2013 - Draco M., Albus D., Canada, Romania
Harry Crow by robst reviews
What will happen when a goblin-raised Harry arrives at Hogwarts. A Harry who has received training, already knows the prophecy and has no scar. With the backing of the goblin nation and Hogwarts herself. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 106 - Words: 737,006 - Reviews: 24805 - Favs: 13,007 - Follows: 11,382 - Updated: 6/8/2014 - Published: 6/5/2012 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] - Complete
Snapped Canada vs 2P Canada by Patient Harmony reviews
The 2Ps decide to put an end to their 1Ps, once and for all. Except someone beat them to it.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,081 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 25 - Published: 5/24/2014 - Canada, Parallel Nations - Complete
PJO, HoO, and Gods read the Percy Jackson Series by COTK95 reviews
Join characters from both Camp Half-Blood and Camp Jupiter as they are thrown back in time to read the books along with the gods. Takes place the year after Thalia is turned into a tree.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 10 - Words: 37,034 - Reviews: 166 - Favs: 401 - Follows: 490 - Updated: 3/17/2014 - Published: 10/19/2012
Visiting by SpencerRemyLvr reviews
Spencer visits Remy at the Mansion - Slash
Crossover - X-Men & Criminal Minds - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,104 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 28 - Published: 3/14/2014 - Remy L./Gambit, S. Reid - Complete
A Nation's Sanity by TheSapphireRainAlchemist reviews
Sequel to The Nations and the Secrets. France, America, Canada and England all go back to school, Russia wants to come back and teach to stay away from Belarus, and China and Japan get dragged into it. But with the Dementors around, can they keep their sanity? Rated T because it's Hetalia, and still no Romance, I can't write romance to save my life.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 29 - Words: 62,818 - Reviews: 967 - Favs: 319 - Follows: 419 - Updated: 3/2/2014 - Published: 7/14/2012 - Harry P., England/Britain
National Geographic, Country style by Hutcchy reviews
Ever think that a world meeting reminds you of a nature program, well it does for England. Rated T for the hell of it. For safety reasons, do not eat whilst reading as I can't give the Heimlich Maneuver through the internet. Also electronic devises have been know to be lobbed across the room due to laughter. You have been warned.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 22,628 - Reviews: 140 - Favs: 282 - Follows: 133 - Updated: 2/15/2014 - Published: 4/15/2013 - Japan, England/Britain, Australia - Complete
Paint me a picture by Paralelsky reviews
"What do you do with a weapon who's become obsolete?" asked Harry, almost conversationally. "You disassemble it, or stow it securely away." answered Tony, voice devoid of any inflection. Sequel to 'Black is the colour' - or how Tony and Harry met. Fem!Harry
Crossover - Harry Potter & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,622 - Reviews: 267 - Favs: 978 - Follows: 1,672 - Updated: 11/21/2013 - Published: 7/4/2012 - Harry P., Iron Man/Tony S.
Hero Training -Old Version- by Ashynarr reviews
The Avengers needed to work on teamwork, so Fury brought in the best fighter he knew – a kid by the name of Alfred F. Jones... de-anon from kink meme. The new version is up, so go read that instead! This story will not be continued past here. I'm serious, I'm not writing anymore, so stop complaining already! (Unless you want me to delete it, of course.)
Crossover - Hetalia - Axis Powers & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 15,899 - Reviews: 457 - Favs: 568 - Follows: 688 - Updated: 10/17/2013 - Published: 6/27/2012 - America, Captain America/Steve R., Iron Man/Tony S., Nick F. - Complete
The Screwed Up YGOHP Xover by RuneWitchSakura reviews
Harry gets the Puzzle, Voldie gets the Pyramid of Light, and a whole bunch of other people get the other items. Insanity shall prevail. Up for adoption.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 2,712 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 10/11/2013 - Published: 11/6/2006 - Complete
What Lies Behind the Mirror by Patient Harmony reviews
Canada always feels alone, but he has found a friend in the face behind the mirror.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,331 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 27 - Published: 9/28/2013 - Canada - Complete
Life of a demigod by Artemis GoH reviews
Bella is a demigod and Percy's 1/2 sis. The gang goes to forks to find new demigods. HP/PJO/Twilight. R&R. Hope you like and NO FLAMES!
Book X-overs - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 15,638 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 9/17/2013 - Published: 4/11/2010
The Founders' Intervention by sheltie reviews
The four great founders of Hogwarts help Harry Potter in his fight against Voldemort. Sorry for the sucky summary. Rated T for safety. Reposted chaps 1-10.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 18 - Words: 79,330 - Reviews: 756 - Favs: 1,477 - Follows: 1,760 - Updated: 8/30/2013 - Published: 11/12/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G.
The Wrath Of The United Kingdom by Iiz42Awesome reviews
When America goes too far in an argument England storms out. And at the next meeting- Why are there some weird people turning up claiming to be England's brothers (and sister) and beating America up for it? And where the HELL did England go, when he stormed out? (Please tell me if the rating is correct!) And some America-bashing in later chapters (don't think it's serious though).
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,927 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 7/8/2013 - Published: 1/17/2013 - England/Britain, America, Scotland, Wales - Complete
Dark Days by Hutcchy reviews
For centuries England has kept a secret that concerns all of the nations. It's only when the world is consumed in darkness that he can tell the rest of the nations his secret. Rated T due to swearing and a bit gory.(Britannia angel) fits quiet a few genres like adventure and family and angst. Will edit and correct grammar at some point
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Fantasy - Chapters: 37 - Words: 142,711 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 143 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 5/28/2013 - Published: 1/8/2013 - England/Britain - Complete
Fate's design by Fate's Pride reviews
Percy Jackson has left the world of Greek gods to live in isolation, there is a war approaching and the Avengers need to reassemble and fight but they also have to convince Percy to fight with them. Fate has a plan for these people, let's hope it's not tragic... Warning: May be a bit dark, also some spoilers for Mark of Athena.
Crossover - Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 104,446 - Reviews: 619 - Favs: 740 - Follows: 847 - Updated: 5/18/2013 - Published: 10/26/2012 - Percy J.
Heroes, Hockey, and Magic by mooncheese121 reviews
This is my first fanfiction so I hope you like it! England gets a letter from America's boss begging him to teach America something useful. Japan brings up Hogwarts, and because America refused to go alone both Canada and America are sent to Hogwarts. Will they be able to keep their secret from Harry and his friends? No pairings. Rated T just in case, and you know, it's Hetalia.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 12 - Words: 41,507 - Reviews: 219 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 218 - Updated: 4/4/2013 - Published: 7/14/2012 - Harry P., America
Son of Chaos Book One by kevin1984 reviews
Perseus has lost it all. Olympus has turned against him, Annabeth has dumped him and he has lost his family. In his last few minutes of life, Percy is visited by a mysterious figure, who gives him a chance to re-do everything, but this time not as a Son of Poseidon, but as a Son of Chaos. Percy/Thalia Pairing.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 32,988 - Reviews: 453 - Favs: 1,613 - Follows: 955 - Updated: 1/31/2013 - Published: 1/8/2013 - Percy J., Thalia G. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Secret of the Pharoah by Kuhal reviews
AU. Harry enters the European Duel Monsters Open, and meets some old friends, some new ones, and a lot of trouble.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,099 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 193 - Follows: 217 - Updated: 1/29/2013 - Published: 8/21/2012 - Harry P., Yūgi M.
Brotherly Moments by 9foxgrl reviews
From the writer of The Madness of Kurosaki's sanity comes the next laugh out loud comedy featuring the N. America brothers & their sister Vinland. You will soon find why Risk is banned from the UN and stealing syrup is not worth it. How did England & France survive raising them? ENJOY!
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 101 - Words: 45,315 - Reviews: 817 - Favs: 357 - Follows: 159 - Updated: 12/16/2012 - Published: 9/29/2012 - America, Canada - Complete
Dark Wings by PrincessKiichigo reviews
Harry leaves, tired of the lies he heads to America. What will he encounter? Who can he trust? Can he survive in this new world alone? What does fate have in store for him? After 5th year before Xmen the last stand. Rating may go up. Pairings undecided. Probable minor slash
Crossover - Harry Potter & X-Men: The Movie - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,006 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 292 - Follows: 470 - Updated: 12/7/2012 - Published: 11/2/2009 - Harry P., Jean G.
A Simple Request by Akoge reviews
After Japan expressed interest in England's magic, England grudgingly agreed to allow the axis to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. But when strange things start occurring, will they be able to help the golden trio save the school, and keep their identities safe at the same time? No romance, can't write it. Rated T for possible violence later on.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 28,012 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 221 - Updated: 11/12/2012 - Published: 8/23/2012
Demigod Project by Yellow-Spider reviews
He's not a Demigod anymore- he left that aspect of his life behind a long time ago. Now he's an agent of SHIELD. With his past haunting him and the Avengers attracting trouble Percy Jackson is about to find out what it really means to be an Agent of SHIELD. Angst! Slight character bashing.
Crossover - Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 23 - Words: 69,825 - Reviews: 689 - Favs: 1,437 - Follows: 799 - Updated: 10/15/2012 - Published: 8/7/2012 - Percy J. - Complete
New Light by FireFull12 reviews
Harry Potter has been keeping many sectets among them being his name, looks, personality, and skills. But now he cant hide anymore because he has someone to protect, a new light to his dark soul. Harrison Potter has a dark power, Shadow Magic. Please Read and Review.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,503 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 219 - Follows: 299 - Updated: 9/23/2012 - Published: 7/18/2012 - Harry P., Yūgi M.
Canadian Hockey by 9foxgrl reviews
Prussia makes the mistake of insulting Canada's love of hockey. Russia & America do whatever they can to avoid the fall out.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,326 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 198 - Follows: 37 - Published: 9/18/2012 - Canada, Prussia - Complete
Reading with the Gods: The Lightning Thief by AnonymousDuo reviews
Everything is different. Thalia is the demigod of the prophecy, Annabeth is a hunter and Percy is... smart. What happens when the Oracle decides to let them read the Percy Jackson series? A lot of confusion happens!
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 14 - Words: 72,865 - Reviews: 255 - Favs: 257 - Follows: 252 - Updated: 9/9/2012 - Published: 7/14/2011 - Percy J., Thalia G.
Reunion by Deep.Dark.Yet.Dangerous reviews
Alfred F. Jones gets called to met Nick Fury to talk about the Avengers Initiative, revealing memories that had been long forgotten about the journeys of him and Captain America. May stay one shot, but I may make more to it. I do have some ideas for a second chapter. Cover art drawn by me, will be colored and re-uploaded at some point. WARNING: May rewrite, not sure yet.
Crossover - Hetalia - Axis Powers & Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,216 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 8/22/2012 - Published: 7/4/2012 - America, Captain America - Complete
Why Not? by GilbirdAttack reviews
Nicole Frey is a depressed teen who was about to pull the trigger. That was before she signed the delivery sheet. Hetalia Manuals mainly based on est. 1995/LolliDictator.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,589 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 7/27/2012 - Published: 6/26/2012
A World History of Magic by the forgotten sentiment reviews
At a request from Professor Dumbledore, England and the other nations agree to attend Hogwarts to learn magic and teach a thing or two about their countries' magical history. Harry and the others are in for one hell of a fifth year.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 5 - Words: 25,370 - Reviews: 363 - Favs: 603 - Follows: 779 - Updated: 7/18/2012 - Published: 7/14/2011
On a Lonely String by Mysterypersonzebra reviews
In which Steve Rogers meets Alfred F. Jones, and loneliness is universal.
Crossover - Hetalia - Axis Powers & Avengers - Rated: K - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,340 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 15 - Published: 7/18/2012 - America, Captain America/Steve R. - Complete
The Nations and the Secrets by TheSapphireRainAlchemist reviews
Sequel to two brothers;Two nations. The Chamber is back. Seems like History is repeating itself. Can the Nations Get through another year with out their secret being found out? How long can they keep it up? ( Accidentally deleted. Thank you Fanfiction for having a Recovery option. )
Crossover - Harry Potter & Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 35 - Words: 65,535 - Reviews: 517 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/14/2012 - Published: 5/13/2012 - Harry P., Canada - Complete
Ring Around the Wrong Neck by fringeperson reviews
In which Sirius gives his godson the Millenium Ring as a first birthday present, and it is the Thief King, not Lily, who saves Harry from Voldemort's curse that Halloween night. Yaoi and a slightly Super!Harry. Don't own.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 45,274 - Reviews: 681 - Favs: 1,650 - Follows: 809 - Updated: 7/10/2012 - Published: 5/9/2012 - Harry P., Yami Bakura - Complete
America meets his Captain by wonderlander-7 reviews
Alfred calls upon Captain America for a very special mission. May or may not be continued.
Crossover - Hetalia - Axis Powers & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 387 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 15 - Published: 7/5/2012 - America, Captain America/Steve R.
Tamashī no nageki 魂の嘆き DISCONTINUED Redo is posted as new story by Neurotic-Canuck reviews
Years passed ever since the yamis were sent back to their time. Ryou lived on his life at Japan till a tragic accident occurs forcing him to leave. The dark lord is after him but an even darker force is trying to take him...back CHAP EIGHT UPDATE!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: T - English - Angst/Spiritual - Chapters: 9 - Words: 38,379 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 122 - Updated: 6/14/2012 - Published: 5/12/2010 - Harry P., R. Bakura
Flashback to the Past: The Lightning Thief by magicdemi-god223 reviews
Percy, Thalia and Nico are sent back to the past by the Fates and Rhea to read a book. The past gods read with them... Will the books change the way of the gods or will humanity cease to exist all because of unchangeable mistakes?
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 135,868 - Reviews: 239 - Favs: 487 - Follows: 463 - Updated: 6/2/2012 - Published: 10/30/2011 - Percy J.
The Fedora by Bri Nara reviews
America brings an old fedora to a meeting that makes anyone who puts it on act strange. Crack. One-shot. Fab!characters. Mafia!Italies.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 714 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 206 - Follows: 26 - Published: 4/23/2012 - Canada - Complete
PJO and HoO Read the Sea of Monsters by Erudite19 reviews
The characters of PJO and HoO are sent back in time to the winter after Thalia was turned into a tree to read about the future with the gods. After the Son of Neptune. Sequel to my other story. Rick Riordan owns PJO and HoO.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 56,311 - Reviews: 395 - Favs: 779 - Follows: 856 - Updated: 3/13/2012 - Published: 11/6/2011
Not Always a Gentleman by Otaku Kyari reviews
One Shot: England was always known as a gentleman among the other nations so this meeting was a bit of a shock for all... Contains: OOC-ness, Crack, Hard to understand accents, Bad Language and more crack for the sake of it xP
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,239 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 17 - Published: 2/7/2012 - England/Britain, Scotland - Complete
Too many cooks by Hmob1994 reviews
England spends most of his time trying to keep his brothers a secret from the rest of the world, but when they follow him to a world meeting, how long can he keep his temper for?
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,469 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 16 - Published: 12/25/2011 - England/Britain, Scotland - Complete
Ortona Memories by Goldpen reviews
He couldn't stand to see her like this. Today he'd finally let her know that she was visible. That she was remembered. Ever since the battle of Ortona he remembered her, and loved her. Germany/Fem!Canada
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,973 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 7 - Published: 12/4/2011 - Germany, Canada - Complete
We Do Not Take Kindly by baichan reviews
N. Italy relapses as the mafia, and S. Italy the pope. Poor France who has hurt N. Italy is scarred for life, and everyone else is really confused. Ger/Ita Spa/Mano
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,009 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 22 - Published: 11/10/2011 - S. Italy/Romano, N. Italy - Complete
Take Me Away by EhCanuck reviews
Sick of being ignored, Matt decides to take a break from it all but he turns up missing. Wandering between worlds, will he find his way out? Will he want to? Will the world survive the events his disappearance sets in motion?
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 24 - Words: 114,191 - Reviews: 174 - Favs: 188 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 10/24/2011 - Published: 9/17/2010 - [Canada, Prussia] - Complete
Enchanting Elements by Arydia reviews
Bella has strange dreams after Edward leaves her. She is told she is a Wafe by a special girl. But what is a Wafe? And what happens when new people arrive? rated T for possible outcomes ExB R&R originally by I won't go home without you/ WeasleyTwiins
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 16 - Words: 31,660 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 7/15/2011 - Published: 7/2/2010 - Bella, Edward
Vinland by Blaue Schwertlilie reviews
There were a thousand little things - word choice, knowledge of things he shouldn't have been present for - which gave away that Matthew was older than he looked. Based on the idea that Canada is Vinland. Contains France, UK, USA, Prussia, Nordics.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,897 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 353 - Follows: 46 - Published: 4/4/2011 - Canada - Complete
Shields of Power by thunderful reviews
What if Bella already knew about vampires before she came to Forks, what if she'd already met the Volturi, but wasn't allowed to tell anyone? And most importantly, what if she had her own gift?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 45 - Words: 151,866 - Reviews: 4579 - Favs: 4,824 - Follows: 2,351 - Updated: 1/14/2011 - Published: 9/2/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Mafia by SabrinaScissorhands reviews
The Hetalia characters play a friendly game of Mafia. America, Canada, Prussia, Germany, Russia, Italy, Romano, France, Japan, brief England.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,434 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 158 - Follows: 16 - Published: 12/3/2010 - Prussia, America - Complete
2 Magics Plus Leo by Mad blood King reviews
Another story of Yugi, Ryou, Malik, and Seto heading off to Hogwarts. However, they're going into first year! And introducing a new character, someone who knew nothing of either magic, but is accepting enough to believe in both? Please review.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 39,354 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 10/25/2010 - Published: 7/31/2010 - Harry P., Yūgi M.
The Enchanter and the five coincidences by So you want to be an Author reviews
In the books Harry's years are always chaotic. How much worse would it be with five years of canon troubles in one? Enchanter, Independent, Gray, Smart and Political Harry! Eventual Runemaster Harry! Starts with anti-pureblood prejudiced Harry!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 82,248 - Reviews: 251 - Favs: 401 - Follows: 443 - Updated: 10/16/2010 - Published: 8/3/2009 - Harry P., Daphne G.
The Hogwarts Program by animeloveramy reviews
'Ryou Bakura had been sorting through his duel deck when the owl had run smack bang into his bedroom window. In another part of Domino City a grumpy looking Seto Kiba was having a glaring contest with a large eagle owl perched on his desk.' not yoai
Crossover - Harry Potter & Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 25,369 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 9/7/2010 - Published: 9/24/2009 - Harry P., Yūgi M.
X by Lady Charity reviews
Sticks and stones may break his bones but words will never hurt him. Or so Prussia thought. In which arguments and anger in a World Meeting go too far
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,343 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 351 - Follows: 27 - Published: 7/8/2010 - Prussia - Complete
Queen and Country by Mystical Magician reviews
When England escapes Voldemort, his thin veneer of gentility is stripped away to reveal the savage, bloodthirsty conqueror. One way or another, he will see the death of the Dark Lord. And he will laugh.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,391 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 639 - Follows: 70 - Published: 6/8/2010 - England/Britain - Complete
A Quarter of a Soul by psychotic7796 reviews
What if Harry Potter had been born with extra powers that wizards feared and thought was myth? What if the powers he had, had not been seen for years, not since Ancient Egypt? What if he had met Yugi Mutou during the summer after 5th year? Possible SLASH!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 72,949 - Reviews: 394 - Favs: 682 - Follows: 718 - Updated: 4/23/2010 - Published: 8/30/2009 - Harry P., Yūgi M.
Meet The Kirklands by Tehri reviews
After an interesting phonecall during a G8 meeting, Alfred decides to come to Arthur's house and meet his siblings, not believing them to be as bad as the Englishman claims. A not-so-very-scarring event, when he meets the Kirklands.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,954 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 218 - Follows: 29 - Published: 3/28/2010 - America, England/Britain - Complete
Paint by Luinramwen reviews
America always keeps the White House freshly painted, and really, he thinks, Canada should stop god damn smirking about it.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 850 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 486 - Follows: 42 - Published: 3/8/2010 - Canada, America - Complete
Hockey by KSFWolfe reviews
America decides to go with Canada to a hockey game. Hey; how bad could it be? What he didn't count on was...Canadian hockey.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,380 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 584 - Follows: 61 - Published: 12/9/2009 - Canada, America - Complete
One Fact Changes All by Lolchen reviews
Ryou Bakura, Severus Snape's nephew, is invited into Hogwarts. But life is full of surprises... What will happen once Voldemort and Yami Bakura meet? Will Ryou's presence change anything at all? Tendershipping Bakura x Ryou, friendly!Draco ON HIATUS
Crossover - Harry Potter & Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 29,797 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 186 - Follows: 220 - Updated: 3/12/2009 - Published: 6/8/2007 - Draco M., R. Bakura
When there is more than you wait by vanumi-victoria reviews
Yugioh and Harry Potter crossover. What happens when Voldemort seeks for power that is more stronger than he knows. Sorry for short chapters. Reviews? Anybody. Please!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 33,345 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 3/8/2009 - Published: 7/9/2006
With a wave of the wand by Shadow over Egypt reviews
You can blame strangers for a lot of things it seems, for they always seem to drag you into a bigger mess than you’d otherwise manage by yourself. But ‘friends’ are worse, especially when you can never be certain whether they’re lying…HP x YGO
Crossover - Harry Potter & Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 21 - Words: 236,102 - Reviews: 625 - Favs: 343 - Follows: 306 - Updated: 8/10/2008 - Published: 10/6/2004
Silver Moonlight by Angel Of Storms reviews
Harry PotterYuGiOh! crossoverIt's the summer before Harry's seventh year at Hogwarts School of Whichcraft and Wizardry. What adventures will Harry and his friends have this year? And why is the Dark Lord after a group of foreign muggles?
Crossover - Harry Potter & Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,773 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 2/16/2008 - Published: 1/18/2005 - Harry P., Yūgi M.
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The Fear of Dead Men
Wincestiel fanfiction. Mate verse. Established Sastiel, eventual Wincestiel. Sam and Dean fight after Dean nearly gets himself killed rescuing Sam and Castiel on a hunt. They get separate rooms and avoid each other but after several days Sam and Cas get worried and go to find him. They discover Dean had been held hostage for several days by a shifter with a thirst for revenge.
Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,052 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 9 - Published: 2/14 - [Sam W., Castiel, Dean W.]
Facing Your Fears Is Never Easy reviews
The 'HetaOni Ten' are taking private lessons from Prof. Lupin with Harry Potter. In the first lesson they have to face a boggart. This is what happened. Rated M for HetaOni Horror, my extremely twisted imagination, Dursley abuse, and Romanos mouth. Formally known as I CALL ENGLAND HE IS MINE. WARNING YAOI! DON'T LIKE DON'T READ. R&R!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Horror/Suspense - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,249 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 1/12/2014 - Published: 8/25/2012 - Harry P., Remus L., England/Britain, America
A Secret Not Meant To Be Known reviews
America was just running down for Potions when bright light flashed from the Charms classroom. Next thing he knew, he was in a room similar to the World Conference with the other nations and the Harry Potter cast and then ended up reading... Two Brothers Two Nations? Rated T because I'm parinoid.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,057 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 33 - Published: 8/23/2012 - Harry P., England/Britain
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