before u read the rest just so u know some of stuff i put is from BrittanaLove so i didnt come with them
GOTTA SECRET CAN YOU KEEP IT WELL THIS ONE YOULL SAVE, GOTTA LOCK IT IN YOUR POCKET TAKIN THIS ONE TO THE GRAVE, GOTTA SHOW YOU, GOTTA KNOW YOU, WONT TELL WHAT I SAID, CUZ TWO CAN KEEP A SECRET IF ONE OF THEM IS D-E-A-D!!
hey-hey,im cat,i love glee realy,im a gleek,I'm planning on having a Hawaiian wedding. That way, if anyone objects, I can throw them in the nearest volcano,Being nice for 8 straight hours is THE HARDEST THING I'VE EVER DONE!
37 things to do in a elevator
1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
My Favourte Sayings
I like turtles because they're so chill. They don't hurt anyone. They're just like, "Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I'm gonna take my time getting there, I'm not in a rush. Because I'm a turtle."
the 4 biggest lies ever told:
Remember: I watch Law and Order, Castle, Bones, Criminal Minds, CSI, CSI Miami, and EVERY SINGLE EPISODE OF NCIS. You tick me off...I won't leave evidence.
Cinderella stayed up till midnight at parties, Sleeping Beauty got to sleep forever, Aladdin was a thief, Snow White lived with 7 men, and Goldilocks broke into a house and ate the bear's food. And our parents wondered how "we turned bad"
I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people and their questions.
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.
Do not disturb, I'm disturbed enough already.
Earth is the insane asylum of the universe.
There's no place like home . . . but Wal-mart's close.
You can't argue with all the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their own way, then trick them when they aren't paying attention.
Don't worry about the people in your past, there's a reason they didn't make it to your future.
The rules only apply if you get caught.
I got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the w's.
A true idiot climbs a glass wall to see what's on the other side.
I used all my sick days so I called in dead.
Don't worry about the end of the world coming today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible?
You're a great friend, but if zombies chase us . . . I'm tripping you.
So many stupid people, so little duct tape.
I'm too tired to punch you. Would you please run your face into my fist repeatedly?
I have multiple personalities, and none of them like you.
I don't understand white crayons! Why are they here? What do they want from us?
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man: Is this seat empty?
Man: Your place or mine?
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Caption from under a cake box:
Don't turn this package upside down!
Oops, to late
You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You jump of a cliff, I laugh even harder.
I LOVE math, yea, I said it.
People who say nothing's impossible, they never tried to stop a revolving door.
I'm not retarded, I just like licking windows :).
You call me a witch like it's a bad thing.
Oink. I'm a cow.
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
I trip UP the stairs.
OMG. THE RAIN'S WET!
I have superpowers, I just don't wanna show you.
OOPS. Did my sarcasm hurt your feelings? Get over it.
Best friends means killing each other for a bag of chips, and at the end not saying sorry, but instead saying "Haha, too bad, loser".
G_ F_CK Y_ _RSELF! Would you like to buy a vowel?
My future's so bright, I need shades.
Sometimes I wish I was a MONKEY. That way I could throw POOP @ PPL and it would be legal.
I smile because I have no idea what's going on.
DON'T HIT KIDS. No. Seriously. They have guns now.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
I run with scissors. It makes me feel dangerous.
We're so hot, we make fire stop, drop and roll.
It'll be funnier than a penguin playing a banjo.
SHUT UP VOICES. Or i'll poke you with a Q-Tip again.
OH YEAH? Your face.
I'm a dinasour. Rawr!
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy marshmellows, which is kinda the same thing.
REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE:
1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)
23.the reason you joined
If someone was"trip"off this catwalk and landed on the floor really really hard, do you think they'd live
you are random and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own two feet, copy and paste this into your profile
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy and paste this into your profile
If you agree that you have a problem when you start actually replying to yourself like there are two people in the room when you're alone, copy and paste this into your profile
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out!
Tell the truth and RUN!
Amateurs built the Ark, professionals built the Titanic.
Have you ever noticed if you rearrange the letters in mother-in-law, they spell Woman Hitler?
Why do people say "You can't have you cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get a cake if they can't eat it??
I'm so gangsta I carry I squirt gun!
I used to be normal, until I met those freaks I now call my friends.
When life hands you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.
Real girls aren't perfect. Perfect girls aren't real.
I'd rather be hated for who I am then be loved for who I'm not.
What is easy isn't always right. What is right isn't always easy.
Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over!
Smile and the world will smile back at you. Laugh and they'll think you're on drugs.
If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it!
I used to have super powers but then my therapist took them away =(
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
I'm not a complete idiot. . . . Some parts are missing.
The voices in my head tell me that you're all crazy and they think you need therapy.
The voices in mind think you're crazy for telling me I need therapy.
My mind works like lightening. . . . . One brilliant flash and then it's gone.
If you suck at video games, copy and paste this into your profile
If you can listen to a song and match some of the lyrics up to your own life, copy and paste this into your profile
If you absolutely LOVE to sing even though you may or may not suck, copy and paste this into your profile
If you are obsessed with Fanfiction, copy and paste this into your profile
If you can be quiet one second and hyper the next but don't have mood swings, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have a wide range of interst, copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this into your profile
If you think being unique is better than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever tripped on your own two feet, copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever laugh for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever pushed a door that says pull, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever just wanted to smack someone, copy and paste this into your profile
Getting an abortion is killing someone who never got to live. Don't kill a life, save one. If you don't believe in abortions, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both, copy and paste this into your profile
I'm the kind of girl who walks into a wall and then says sorry to it!
If you think James Maslow is APBWWA (A pretty boy with washboard abs), copy and paste this into your profile
If you think Big Time Rush is the most amazing TV show (and band) in the world, copy and paste this into your profile
I'm not trying to impress you, but I watch PG rated movies without my parents premission!
Sometimes I meow back at my cat.
If you're IN LOVE with Big Time Rush, copy and paste this into your profile
Yeah, I believe my prince charming will come one day. . . . . I also believe he took a wrong turn and is too stubborn to ask for directions!
DON'T SNIFF COKE!!. . . . . .The bubbles burn your nose.
Whenever I have a problem, I just sing. Then I know my singing is worse than my problem.
You know it's time to visit a shrink when you start singing the Spongebob theme song in the shower. . . .
You can't force someone to love you. . . . You can only stalk them and hope for the best!
Funny Phobias If you laugh at any of these, paste it in your profile!
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia or Sesquipedalophobia- Fear of long words Doctor: "You have Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia." Patient: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!"
Androphobia- Fear of males A guy wakes one morning, "OMG!!!"
Unatractivephobia- Fear of ugly people You walk outside to your car and some old ladies walking down the street and you run inside screaming.
Venustraphobia- Fear of beautiful woman A guy looks at his fiance
Thaasophobia- Fear of sitting Teacher: "Bobby, it's time to SIT DOWN OR ELSE." Bobby: "It's alright, I'm not *yawn* tired, I'll stand."
Sophophobia- Fear of learning Mom: "Honey, what did you learn today?" Kid: "MOMMY!! DON'T SAY THE 'L' WORD!!!"
Scriptophobia- Fear of writing in public A famous person. Signing autographs. Ouch.
Scolionophobia- Fear of school Kid: "But Mommy, you're a teacher, what do you mean you don't like school?" Mom/Teacher: "I can just hear all those fingernails on the chalkboard!!"
Phronemophobia- Fear of thinking Wife: "Just think how wonderful a trip to Paris would be..." Husband: "I WON'T DO IT!! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!"
Unsafe External Link