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Joined 06-01-10, id: 2386492, Profile Updated: 08-25-10

The reason for my Pen name

Anyone who knows an Indian language can tell you that the first half of my pen name 'Pagal' means mad and the second part 'Budhu' means stupid. During the early stages of my relationship with my girlfriend, I called her 'Pagal' in a endearing way and she gave me a nick name 'Budhu'. Since then, we rarely call each other by our given names and every ID I create be it for my blog or anything, I usually use a combination of both these words.

My Worst Nightmare

People tend to take all the wrong reasons possible whenever I try to give credit to someone that is entitled for it. I mean what kind of a sick world are we living in where when I try to give credit to an author whose story inspired me to write another one, someone else takes offense from it while the author gets agitated even for getting credit for his/her actions.

We are writing fictions based on the TV shows, movies, plays, books etc. We are being inspired to write our thoughts, interpretation, vision, understanding, and versions of the stories by the writers, directors, and producers. I got a message from the aforementioned author about my attempts of hijacking her story. If being inspired and writing a story is hijacking, isn't everyone writing fan fictions doing the same? We are just putting our versions out for everyone to read and our versions are a direct result of us feeling something about the way the story should have gone ahead.

I believe that anyone who does not give credit where it is due is an insufferable and a miserable bastard. I never was and never intend to be one. If giving credit to another author for inspiring me is a mistake, it is a mistake I intend to make every time I publish a fan fiction that is inspired by another author's story.

I am new to and I am not sure what would an author get if he gets greater readership. I believe most of the authors on this website are just expressing their personal views in the form of fan fictions and are not expecting any returns. I would feel the same when my readership is just one person or a million people because I am writing fan fictions as a hobby but not to make money. I have a job to make money to sustain in this world.

I apologize to everyone for my scathing remarks above but it is the truth.

The Truth behind My Story Ziva's Worst Nightmare

After going through some rather scathing reviews for mentioning the name of the person and story that inspired me to write the story 'Ziva's Worst Nightmare' I believe it is time for me to reveal the original incident behind the story.

About 2 years ago, my fiancée and I were staying in the same building of our office hostel. My room was on the 2nd floor while hers was on the 4th floor. One day, I was helping her with her project and something ticked her off. I haven't found out till date what it was and I never want to for I do not want to relive that worst moment of my life. She yelled at me and stormed off my room. I had been putting up with her antics for over 3 years by then and was angry beyond limits. My mindset at that time was exactly how Tony's mindset has been portrayed by SnoopMaryMar in her story 'Don't Call It Destiny'. I was angry with her for every antic I had to put up with.

I went for a ride on my motorbike to vent off some of the frustration and met with a small accident. I returned to my hostel with some minor injuries. The security guard immediately informed my girlfriend of my condition. When she called, I replied too dryly. I still remember the conversation.


"It's me. I heard you were in an accident?"

"Why does that concern you?"

"Bala, please don't talk like that."

"There is nothing you need to know about me right now."

"Please, I am sorry. Tell me what happened?"

"Nothing, good night."

As soon as I hung up, she ran down to my room worried about me and fearing if she has troubled me too far that I wanted to break up. We did not have any angry conversation as Tony and Ziva had but we made it up to each other.

It is a painful memory about how close I was to losing the love of my life and every time I read 'Don't Call It Destiny', I remember this particular incident. That is the only reason I mentioned her story as an inspiration.

The only reason I have not mentioned this incident in the A/N is because it would be too surreal for anyone reading the story.

Deleted All The Stories

I clearly understood that people do not appreciate being inspired by other's stories. I have not said my story 'Ziva's Worst Nightmare' which is now deleted along with all my other stories was a sequel to SnoopMaryMar's story. It just triggered a painful memory I have been trying to forget for over 2 years and I have put my thoughts across. I am truly sorry that I had hurt so many people's feelings. I think it is better I stop publishing stories completely because every story I wrote and will write in the future are inspired by incidents that occurred in my own life or incidents I have observed occurring around me. The memories are triggered when I read one or the other story in the fan fiction archive.

I want to know if there is anyone writing the stories without being inspired by any such incidents in their own life or incidents they have observed outside or in TV Shows or movies they have watched or books they have read.

I only wanted to give credit to the person for writing such a good story that has triggered inspiration in me to write one more story and it is clear that people have taken all the wrong reasons possible for my actions.

If some one liked any of my stories and is willing to write one more story or a sequel, they are most welcome but please do not mention my name. I always prefer to remain behind the curtain rather than being in the open.