Author has written 1 story for Percy Jackson and the Olympians.
Hi fanfiction! This is a shared account, and so far, we have published...*drum roll*...a grand total of one story!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, that is pretty amazing. The story is based around the Percy Jackson books, but we'll probably be doing some twilight parodies as well. (We are officially team 'Edward and Jacob both need to go'.) You can expect a lot of parodies from us.
Mary Sue hater 1:
Age: 14 years
Hates: Mary Sues (what a shock.)
I have read all of My Immortal... and survived. (gasp) If you don't know what My Immortal is, look it up. It is FUNNY. You may have to sacrifice a few brain cells to read it, however. Anyway, since I'm terrible at writing profiles, I will show off how thoughtful and intelligent I am with a quote.
"The man who has no imagination has no wings." (Muhammad Ali)
That quote came directly from the internet :)
A MESSAGE TO EVERYONE WHO HAS HEARD OF TWILIGHT. I, MARY SUE HATER 1, AM CURRENTLY WORKING ON THE GREATEST TWILIGHT FANFIC EVER. The title has already been chosen. Ready? EDWARD CULLEN'S TOP 10 TIPS FOR ATTRACTING GIRLS. I can sense you laughing gleefully now.
Mary Sue hater 2:
Likes: Lamps, skittles, and mushrooms (the magic type)
Hates: Fairytales (one day I will publish my rant on how much they disgust me) teenage boys who think they can sing, oh and Mary Sues, of course
I don't actually write, I just throw in a few random ideas which a lot of you seem to think are funny. But seriously Mary Sue hater 1 does most the work.
THAT'S RIGHT, THIS IS THE SECTION WHERE WE PUT RANDOM POEMS AND QUOTES AND STUFF!
I would give you some deep, meaningful quotes, but... I don't like them. How about some My Immortal quotes?
QUOTE: "Snaketail what art thou doing?' called Voldemort. Then ...he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking towards us.
COMMENTARY: I would like to enquire as to why Voldemort, the height of all (male) evil, feels the need to wear high heels. And I would also like to give a great LOL to the butchered old English he speaks which would surely make Shakespeare weep. Tara, you inspired terror in my heart when you told me that (after many dots) Voldemort had started coming.
QUOTE: “MR. WAY WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!” Rumbridge shouted angrily. Dumbledore blared at her. “Oops she made a mistake!” he corrupted her. “She means hi everybody cum in!”
COMMENTARY: To clear a few things up, I would just like to say that Rumbridge is actually Umbridge. She catches Enony in the act of eavesdropping, and is evidently so shocked that she mistakes her for a man and forgets three of her last names (shame on her). She and Dumbledore have been discussing confidential information, so Dumbledore, the sly dog, pulls off a spectacular save by 'blaring' at Umbridge and then corrupting her. He then assures TaEbory that Umbridge has made a simple grammatical error (judge ye not on that score, Inoby) and informs us that Umbridge really meant to say 'hi everybody cum in!'. Nice save, Dumbledore (well known genius of the wizarding world). Nice save.
QUOTE: Dubleodre started to cockle. “Hahahaha! And How due u aspect me to know Ebony’s not divisional?”
COMMENTARY: The beauty of this line is that there are so many meanings you can come up with for it. Dumbledore begins to cockle (is this a misspelling of the word 'chuckle', or could he be caressing a pool of water somewhere? We will never know), and then he laughs. Thank you, Tara. You told us that Dumbledore was chuckling/ caressing water, and then assured us that he was laughing. Dumbledore proceeds to offend the English language in a way which would make Her Royal Majesty quit her job. I would try to decipher this meaningless jumble of words, but I'm afraid that I need to keep my brain cells healthy for other things... like breathing.
QUOTE: The door opened and Proffesor Rumbridge and Cornelia Fudge stomped out angrily. Then Dumbledum and Rumbridge sawed us.
COMMENTARY: This is a vast improvement upon Egogy's usual crimes against the English language. Instead, she had decided to cause even more shame to the Harry Potter series. Proffesor Rumbridge (Who is evidently Professor Umbridge, who has changed her name constantly throughout the story) and Cornelia Fudge (who is actually a man named Cornelius Fudge), stomp out of a room angrily. Ebory is really improving in her use of adverbs. Dumbledum materialises out of thin air, and he and Rumbridge 'sawed' Enoby. This is a spelling mistake which I personally would expect from a six year old, and adds to my theory that Tara Gillesbie is really a toddler who stole her sister's laptop one day and decided to write a story.
QUOTE: “Crosio!” I shouted. Snap stated 2 scram he dropd da gun. But it was too late. Both of them had run out of ballets. I STOPPED DA CURSE. Profesor McGoogle did a spell so that we were all chained up. She took out a box of tools. Den she said “OK Serverus I’m going 2 go now.” She left. Snap started to laugh evilly. Vampire started to cry.
COMMENTARY: This quote makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. First of all, Tata (proof that the author of My Immortal has not only created the ultimate Mary Sue, but has also misspelled her own name), shouts an unknown spell, 'Crosio.' If we assume that this is actually Crucio, the torturing curse, then we can sort of understand why Snap states to scram, for fear that Tara's severe mispronunciation of the spell will have greusome side-effects. He then drops his completely unnecessary gun (Now why didn't the real Snape think of a gun?) and we discover that it was too late and that Snape had run out of ballets. Could Snape be a famous ballet choreographer? EGGOGY STOPS THE CURSE IN CAPITAL LETTERS FOR AN UNKNOWN REASON. Then, Profesor McGoogle (When I picture her, I see a bizarre cross between McDonalds and Google) does a spell so that Ebobby, Draco and Vampire are all chained up.(Tara's use of adjectives is truly amazing). She randomly takes out a box of tools for no apparent reason, tells her infamous paedophile colleague that she is going to leave him alone with three underage children, and leaves. Snap starts to laugh evilly. Vampire (who is actually Harry Potter, and is supposed to be chivalrous and brave) starts to cry. I am hanging on the edge of my seat, Tara. Really. I am.
Now its time for 'let's educate our readers and help them learn another language.' Why?
Because being bilingual is important.
Anyway today you will learn not one, not two, but ELEVEN languages!
Translation: Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way
German: Ebenholz Dunkelheit Demenz Rabe Weg
Italian: ebano buio demenza modo corvo
Spanish: la demencia de ébano oscuridad cuervo manera
Swedish: ebenholts mörker demens korp sätt
French: l'obscurité ebony démence façon corbeau
Afrikaans: ebbenhout duisternis manier dementia kraai
Arabic: خشب الأبنوس الغراب الخرف الظلام الطريق
Russian: черного мрака слабоумия ворон путь
Korean: 흑단 어둠의 치매의 레이븐 방법
And because (now) shes in a fanfic about Greek gods and goddesses,
Greek: έβενος άνοια σκοτάδι τρόπο raven
And for all those reading this, thinking 'google translate was not invented for your sick amusement,' I say 'Of course it was, ανόητα παιδιά'
(please note, because all the people at google translate are preps, when getting the translation I did not use capital letters. This is because when I did, the results rarely came up.)
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