Life's Little Demon
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Joined 06-02-10, id: 2387369, Profile Updated: 07-07-14

Hello, my name is Dayani, but please call me Daai.

I live in somewhat small town with my parents and my brother. In my spare time I like to play the guitar and read aswell as write my own stories.

What you probably won't need to know about me:

I am 5'2 tall

I'm a Lesbian

I play the guitar

My eyes are brown-blackish

My hair is dark brown.

I'm still in school

A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!..

Copy and paste this to your profile if you feel rosy for snowmen who feel ‘left out in the cold’

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turky Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

98 of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels!

If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in ur profile!

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

My best friend is insane, if you think your best friend is insane, put this in your profile.

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and prode of it, put this in your profile

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, put it in your profile..

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If whenever you see or hear the brand "volvo" you freak out and start giggling uncontrolably and then people stare at you funny copy and paste this onto your profile

Even when you cant see Him, GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile

If you pray that Jasper takes off his shirt in he fight scene in eclipse, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that Jasper absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you like your men (or women for those male readers) cold, dead, and sparkling, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. (Seriously wtf?)

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile

93 percent of teenagers would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you are part of the 7 percent that would say "What was your first clue?” copy this onto your profile

If you have ever walked into a wall, copy this onto your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen out of a chair backwards...copy/paste this into your profile

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this on your profile

If you've ever sung a song you hated so much, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you are totally in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward Cullen, put this into your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you're on the computer, paste this on your profile.

If you have ever pasted anything on your profile, paste this on your profile.

If you aren't me, paste this on your profile.

If you have a profile, paste this on your profile

If you don't use Myspace and are proud enough to make it public, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear baiting, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If you KNOW the voice in your head is real, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you are insanely weird, copy this into your profile.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.

If you just sung them both in your head and feel like an idiot, put this in your profile

If gum has ever fallen out of your mouth while you were talking, copy this into your profile

If gum has ever fallen out of your mouth when you weren't talking, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever put an ipod up to your ear to listen to the music, copy this into your profile. (don't ask)

If you don't review, I won't write. If I don't write, you won't review. If you think people should review after they read, copy this into your profile.

you agree, that purple bunnies with sporks WILL rule the world, copy this into your profile

It's true, Edward Cullen prefers brunettes. Sorry, Barbie you aren't Bella, and Edward isn't your Ken.

Jacob Black glared at the children dressed as vampires and he knew it wasn't right but he lied and told them there was no candy left anyway.

If you had the patience to read this whole thing, copy and paste .

(='.'=)This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination



This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your
signature to help him gain world domination.

You say RAP
I say ROCK
You say I'm WEIRD


gummy bears are eating me

one is red one is blue

the yellow one just ate my shoe

Now I'm running for my life.

The blue one's got a hunter's knife.


gummy bears are eating me

isnt dat such a cheerful song?

I'm a BRUNETTE and I'm a cutie,

Mess with me and I'll kick your booty,

Redheads are smart,

Blondes think they're cool,

Well think again,

'Cause BRUNETTES rule!

Losers stare make a fuss.

Just one question-

jealous much?

(PS: Edward likes us better!)

are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree


















Q is for Quil!










If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.

Don't you just hate sterotypes? the bold ones relate to me!

Bold the ones that fit you

I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I GOT SICK so I MUST be bulimic.
I WEAR GLASSES so I MUST be a nerd.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm POPULAR so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm FRIENDLY so I MUST be fake.
I DO SCHOOL CLUBS so I MUST be a suck up.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm MEXICAN, I MUST steal everything I don't have.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I ACT DIFFERENT so I MUST be a show-off.

I HAVE NO FACEBOOK so I MUST have no friends.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm TALENTED so I MUST be a conceited show-off.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I LIKE A "LOSER" so I MUST be one too.
I WEAR MAKEUP so I MUST be a slut.
I DON'T WEAR MAKEUP so I MUST "think i'm all that".
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm an HONEST PERSON, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm an ACTRESS so I MUST be a liar.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN (part), so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm A WRITER so I MUST be crazy
I LIKE SCHOOL so I MUST be a loser
I like DANCING, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I TALK TO BOYS so I MUST be a slut.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK.
I LIKE TO READ so I MUST have no life.
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and ‘that's how Russians roll.’
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be ugly.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I LIKE TO LOOK GOOD so I MUST be insecure.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm a MIX OF DIFFERENT KIND OF PEOPLE so I must be fucked up.
I LIKE TO SING so I MUST be some "pop star".
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
i'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm sort of GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich.
I'm an OG so I must be Mexican.
I DO STUDENT GOVERMENT so I MUST be a class-act suck-up.
I TRY so I MUST be an over-acheiver
I act freaking CRAZY so I must be craving attention.
I LAUGH ALL THE TIME so I must be a party girl.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm british, so I MUST be either a football (soccer) obsessed drugee/alcoholic or a rich and snobby with high society english.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I GO TO A NEEK SCHOOL, so I MUST have no social life.
I'm a neek, so I MUST not swear or talk about sex
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have no clue
I am QUIET and POLITE, so I MUST be a pushover.
I use GOOD GRAMMAR, so I MUST be a snob.
I prefer FANTASY and SCI-FI, so I MUST be out of touch with reality.
I don't act DEPRESSED, so I MUST be weird.
I am SKINNY, so I MUST be sensitive about my weight.
I agree with some cases of ABORTION so i MUST be heartless
I write Fanfics, so I MUST be a freak.

stereotypes suck.!

I know I'm not perfect,
I know I'm a geek, in many ways,
I know I listen to "Weird" bands,

I know I like to read,

I know I like school, even teachers. (just the teachers not the school)

I know I'm loved,
I know who I love,
I know I can overcome ups and downs.
And I know who I am.

Anything else you'd like to throw at me?

Calling me Fake, won't make you Real.
Calling me Stupid, won't make you Smart.
Calling me Weak, won't make you Strong.
Calling me Ugly, won't make you Pretty.
Calling me Poor, won't make you Rich.
Calling me Fat, won't make you Perfect?
So why botter?

Month one

I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

I am okay.
I am in an angle's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this (not all kind of it like if the mother die or rape and stuff)

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back."The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."

"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

1. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Diaizzle

2. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (color and animal): Bluedog

3. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): Moskera Dayz

4. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Johdafug

5. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (color, drink): Blacktea

6. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Ahmuhje

7. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name): Helene

8. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): Black Line (my guinea pig)

9. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (fruit, and something that can go wrong): Apple Crash

10. YOUR PIRATE NAME: (color, pirate accessory): Purple-lap


Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl, I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy on that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now the time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris, I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"

In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye" (I actually cried of this)

Now you have two choices

1) repost and show you care

2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart

(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella

Each time I carelessly fall down

And I promise to remember Edward

Whenever I'm out of town

I promise to obey traffic laws

For Charlies sake of course

And I promise to remember Jacob

When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Carlisle

Whenever I am in the emergency room

And I promise to remember Emmett

Everytime there's a huge boom

I promise to to remember Rosalie

Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty

And I promise to remember Alice

When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me

I promise to remember Nessie

When I see that beautiful bronze hair

And I promise to remember Esme

When someone tells me they care

I promise to remember Jasper

Whenever my stomach isn't curled

And I promise to remember the Volturi

When someone speaks of dominating the world

Yes, I promise to love Twilight

Wherever I may go

So that all may see my obsession

Because I know what the Twilighters know

Copy and paste this on your profile if you're a true Twilighter/Fanpire/etc...


I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind. I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.


My name is Sarah,

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he call

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eye

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah,

And I am three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

Her name was Auroura
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endore

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly crys
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
" God, why? Why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
" You deserve to die
You worthless pest! "

The mom walked out
Leaving the slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

Hush, little sister
Please don't cry
I wish I could be there
To sing you a lullaby

I can see your arms
Bloodied and bruised
That's strange, little sister
Mine were like that too

I know you scream
When Daddy's there
Hush, little sister
I know you're scared

I can see the way
He's hurting you
I'm sorry, little sister
He did that to me too

I know that people
Ignore what's going on at home
That makes me angry, little sister
You shouldn't have to be alone

Hey, little sister
You wanna know why I'm not there?
It's a sad story, little sister
But people should care

You see, little sister
One day Daddy got high
You were asleep in your crib
So you didn't hear my cry

He screamed at me
And smashed my head against the door
While you slept, little sister
I died on the floor

You know, little sister
I don't think that I would have died
If someone had only bothered
To listen to my cries

But hush, little sister
Daddy's coming home
Quick, get into bed
You don't want him to find you alone

I'm sorry little sister
He's in a bad mood
Run while you can

Uh oh little sister
He's lifting his belt
Scream while you can, little sister
Call for help

Hush little sister
You don't need to cry
No one can hurt you
You're in my arms tonight.

Forever I Sleep

The last one pops out and I swallow it dry.

My strength is waning, I'm starting to die.

My subconscious takes over and I sit down to write

My last thought and feelings on my one dying night.

The sounds of their taunting, tormenting and teasing,

Ring out in my head as loud as their jeering.

My parents, my sister, my brother and me,

Once lived our lives, happy as could be.

But then I went to secondary school,

And I was labelled as being ‘so un cool!’

They never kick, they never punch.

They only do it during lunch.

They call me names, they leave me out,

It doesn’t matter if I shout.

No one helps me, no one cares.

Once they pushed me up the stairs!

They never leave a mark on me.

Well not one anyone else can see!

Ever so slowly my vision starts to blur.

I hear my wee sister, god don’t let her stir.

My mind is filled but with one desire;

To close my eyes and never again tire.

I wish to leave this world behind,

Instead of being trapped here inside my mind.

I cannot take it any more,

I wear out and slump against the door.

The pills take over and I lie in a heap.

Thanks to the bullies, forever I sleep.

On with it!
Hi, my name is Kazu.
I like Writing and I like Athletics.
I am running down the road
I suddenly tripped over.

I come home with a scatch on my knee.
My mummy begins to worry.
I tell her I am fine.
She sighs and says ok.

I am at school.
When suddenly I fall and hit a tree.
I am sent to the sickbay.
Then I am sent home.

Mummy takes me to the doctors.
The doctors tell mummy something.
Mummy starts to cry.
I tell her it's ok.

I'm not going to die.
She tells me I am starting.
Starting to be slower.
I don't know what it means.

But I have become sick.
I tell mummy it's ok.
I will become better.
Mummy starts to cry.

Do I have cancer?
Mummy says no.
Then what do I suppose.
As a year had past.

I struggle to walk.
My speech is getting slower.
It's hard for me to talk.

My friends like to help me.
My classmates like to run.
But I have to sit down.
And watch them have fun.

Then one day my teacher.
Comes to see mummy.
Daddy comes out.
And starts to get all snotty.

The teacher tells my parents.
I can no longer go to school.
My motion is too slow.
I ask the teacher slowly.

I am sorry I am useless.
I start to cry and beg her.
I want to go to school.
The teacher gives a smile.

And tells me she is sorry.
The school cant really help me.
The words were so cruel.
The day I had to leave.

My friends and classmates cried.
The boys upon the windows.
Wave to me goodbye.
I smile and sit in the car.

I am taken to a school.
A school with special people.
Just like me and you.
I start to have some fun.

I made a lot of friends.
As many years passed again.
I talk too slow to understand.
I cannot run anymore.

And I struggle to even stand.
I cannot write in my diary.
My motion is too slow.
Then one day I am sent.

To the hospital again.
Now many years have passed.
I lie in a warm bed.
I cannot move my body.

I cannot move again.
I talk very slowly.
I cannot move my head.
My mummy sits there crying.

My daddy looks depressed.
I ask my mummy sadly.
Am I going to die.
My mother holds my hand.

Yells and starts to cry.
A few more years later.
I have to shut my eyes.
I cannot talk or move.
I seem to have died.

Copy and Paste this story about Kazu who was diagnosed with a rare uncurable disease, Spinocerebellar Degeneration, in your profile. This disease causes a failure of muscle control in their arms and legs, resulting in a lack of balance and coordination or a disturbance of gait. Support and send the message worldwide.

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS (ironic I know) to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
FRIENDS: Will help you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Will keep on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
FRIENDS: Will help you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kidnap him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Already have the shovel to bury the body of the person that made you cry.
FRIENDS: Will pass you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Will give you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Will take yours and run.
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the cell with you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Have you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give them back.
BEST FRIENDS: Lose your stuff and tell you, "My's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say, "Girl drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!"
FRIENDS: Will help you find your way when you're lost.
BEST FRIENDS: Will be the one messing with your compass, stealing your map and giving you bad directions.
FRIENDS: Will help you learn to drive.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you roll the car into the lake so you can collect insurance.
FRIENDS: Will watch your pets when you go away.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't let you go away.
FRIENDS: Will help you up when you fall down.
BEST FRIENDS: Will point and laugh because she tripped you.
FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kidnap the band with you.
FRIENDS: Ask you for your number
BEST FRIENDS: Ask you for their number
FRIENDS: Hide you from the cops
BEST FRIENDS: Are probably the reason they're after you in the first place
FRIENDS: Let you make an idiot of yourself in public
BEST FRIENDS: Are up there with you making an idiot out of themselves too.
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit!

This is a true story.
A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted," Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiilling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Lucillia

Notes To Self...Of DOOM!
1. Do not introduce yourself as role-playing character in public.
2. Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3. Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5. Do not go out in public.
6. Disregard last number. Do number 1-4.
7. Note Expressions.
8. Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9. Floor is slippery when wet.
10. Lake is slippery when dry.
11. Only talk to strangers you know.
12. Strangers you don't know are spies...kill them all.
13. For legal purposes be sure to delete last note.
14. Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15. Kill them for security purposes.
16. Crying doesn't solve anything. Try violent mood swings.
17. Make a scene whenever humanly possible.
18. The men in white coats are not your friends.
19. Ask them for a room full of sharp, pointy objects.
20. When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.
21. Chicken soup, although good for colds, not the best cure for drowning.
22. Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.
23. Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.
24. Always remember, uh...uh...damn.
25. Train armies of flying monkeys.
26. Goldfish don't like milk.
27. Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.
28. Find out who invented the word 'pianist'.
29. People are staring at you.
30. So act insane.
31. People are weird but not as weird as me.
32. Do not taunt animals at the zoo. They have feelings...and teeth.
33. Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people.
34. Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experience. Do it as much as possible.
35. You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry, it's only me. Bonding.
36. Never pet a burning dog.
37. Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you're wearing a parka.
38. Naked men dig parkas.
39. Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.
40. You know what would look good on you?
41. Immolated cockroaches.
42. Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug.
43. The size of Danny DeVito.
44. Making an amusing facial expression. Like this.
45. Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.
46. Stalking is fun. Do it a lot.
47. Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree."
48. No matter what people say. There is a way into your fantasy world.
49. The way is rum.
50. Constipated people don't give a shit.
51. The Ten Steps to Dying.
a. Fall down.
b. Be rushed to hospital.
c. Not be saved.
d. Be mourned over.
e. Be buried in dirt.
f. Have your grave looted.
g. Rot.
h. Rot.
i. Rot.
j. Have your bones reanimated and used for pain, destruction and terror.
52. You cannot kill the snow.
53. The snow can kill you.
54. Grass can kill you too.
55. The leprechaun on the cereal box said I couldn't get his lucky charms.
56. Catch and castrate leprechaun.
57. He is matter what the men in white say.
58. Staple paper in the middle of the page.
59. In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.
60. You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that.
61. Pretend to be so around the n00bs.
62. Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul-sucking demon.
63. Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?
64. Go ask Senior Diablo for bigger pitchfork.
65. Remember to kill HIM.
66. Tell the small children in the TOYS 'R' US that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.
67. Note reactions. Avoid parents.
68. The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.
69. Scream. Doctors don't like it; they give you a shot of something nice.
70. Hide the bodies. Otherwise people will ask embarrassing questions.
71. Eat the evidence.
72. But not if it’s broken glass.
73. If in the presence of someone much wiser then you, point in a random direction and shout, "LOOK, a distraction." Then run.
74. Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats little children.
75. Disregard last note.
76. Note reactions.
77. On average, 100 people choke to death by ball point pens every year.
78. Stock up on ball point pens.
79. Learn to fly. Tell no one.
80. The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.
81. Do not stick fingers in a blender.
82. Blender...Bad...Ouch.
83. Blood loss is bad.
84. Find way to reattach fingers.
85. Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.
86. Answer every question with a question.
87. Ask people what gender they are.
88. Note reactions.
89. Refer to people as mortal.
90. The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.
91. Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.
92. Star by drowning them in fire ants.
93. Find the creators of pop-up messages.
94. Kill them.
95. Brutally.
96. Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination.
97. Dunk head in boiling water.
98. Disregard last note. Was written by voice #7.
99. Gullible is written on the ceiling.
100. Investigate this whole 'critical mass' when the klaxon dies down.

More Notes to Self of DOOM!
1. I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.
2. When life gives you lemons... MAKE YAOI!
3. It takes 47 muscles to frown, 17 to smile but it doesn't take any to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
4. If you always stop to smell the roses sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.
5. I am worse than evil... I am the author!
6. Sorry about being late...I got lost on the path of life.
7. No you don't get it you think you get it which is different than actually getting it get it?
8. There are 3 kinds of people, those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who don't know what the hell is happening.
9. People are boring, they are only amusing if you push them down a flight of stairs.
10. When life gives you lemons make grape juice and let the world wonder how you did it.
11. I AM NOT CRAZY! My reality is just different than yours.
12. When life gives you lemons squeeze them in somebody's eyes and RUN!
13. Uh...define 'normal' for me again.
14. There are three rings in marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
15. It's not incest! It's brotherly love! They're different!
16. "Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!"
17. "Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."
18. "Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.
19. After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together." The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together.""
21. Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected.
20. I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.
22. Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking.
23. There are plenty more fish in the sea, but who wants to go out with a fish?
24. Some people are like a slinky. They have absolutely no use; but you can't help smile, when you see one fall down the stairs.
25. Due to recent cutbacks and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
26. I lay at my bed last night, counting the stars, and I thought to myself: Where the fuck did my ceiling go?!
27. Ever notice how DYING is at the end of STUDYING?
28. When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.
29. There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
30. I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don't like?
31. Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked "Brightness," but it doesn't work.
32. Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy ANYTHING.
33. That which does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast.
34. Nothing travels faster than light, with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own rules
35. …didn’t need an excuse to go over to the Dark Side…
36. True Love has no happy ending, because True Love has no ending.
37. Don't treat others as you want to be treated, treat others as they treat you.
38. Therapist= The Rapist
39. Unfortunatly, Stupid people are everywhere.
40. You know how to find out your stupid?
41. When you don't know that the numbers 20 and 21 are switched
43. And that there is no 42
44. And you don't know what the hell I'm talking about.
45. Angry woman = dead man

Just some things you need to know to survive….
(1) la-de-da-de-da
(2) The world is going to end so go bite off your big toe and be done with it….
(3) Black is the purdiest color of the rainbow…
(4) Most of the time the true geniuses are truly insane…
(5) I do not suffer from insanity… I enjoy every waking moment of it!
(6) Santa Claus is just a fat drunk guy in a red suit with fur…. Or possibly Michael Jackson… Or Orochimaru…
(8) No woman does not like gay porn!!…
(9) Snack Packs are the nummiest pudding thingies out there!…
(10) Life’s Rough… Cry me a river and build a bridge over it!…
(11) You should listen to the voices in your head…. THEY HAVE SOME GOOD IDEAS!
(12) And Finally….

You know when you live in 2010 when...
1.) you accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or my space.
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending this to all your friends.
9.)You were too busy nodding and smiling to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and I know you did.

Read This

At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping
it all over his lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him
by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to
football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by
jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to
the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch
certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion.
You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You
thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him
by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked
him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus
carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm
so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you
how deeply he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him. You
thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART. If you love your dad, post this on your profile - I got it from SkyGem’s profile. :D

Work vs Prison
IN PRISON... you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.
IN PRISON... you get three meals a day.
AT WORK... you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.
IN PRISON... you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK... you get more work for good behavior.
IN PRISON... the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK... you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.
IN PRISON... you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK... you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
IN PRISON... you get your own toilet.
AT WORK... you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.
IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT can't even speak to your family.
IN PRISON... all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required
AT WORK... you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
IN PRISON... you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK... you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.
IN PRISON... you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK... they are called managers.
So why is it, again, that we work?

What makes life 100 percent?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100 percent? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants more than 100 percent. How about achieving 103 percent? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.


is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26


8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98

11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96


1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100

2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103

So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close,
attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.

And look how far this will take you...

1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118

Think about it... and have a nice day at work... :)

60 Ways to Annoy a Cop
1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer? There's no blood in my alcohol"
2. When they ask why you were speeding, tell them you wanted to race.
3. When they talk to you, pretend you are deaf.
4. If they ask if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to...
5. When they ask why you were speeding, tell them you had to buy a hat.
6. Ask them where they bought their cool hat.
7. Refer to them by their first name.
8. Pretend you are gay and ask them out.
9. When they say no, cry.
10. If they say yes, accuse them of sexual harassment.
11. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
12. If they ask you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.
13. When they asks you to spread them, tell them you don't go that way.
14. When they put the handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy me dinner first"
15. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.
16. After you sign the ticket and give it to them, say "Oops! That's the wrong name."
17. Bribe them with donuts, and when they agree, tell them sorry, I just ate the last one.
18. When they come up to the car say "License and registration please" right when they say it.
19. When they go to read you your rights, sing "La La La, I can't hear you!"
20. Trip and fall into them.
21. Accuse them of police brutality when they push you away.
22. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with their pen.
23. Chew on the pen, nervously.
24. Clean your ear with the pen.
25. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
26. Ask them if they ever worked in a prison. If they say yes, ask how the plumbing was.
27. Act like you are retarded.
28. When they're telling you what you did wrong, start repeating them, quietly.
29. Or mumble to yourself.
30. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?
31. When they come to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!
32. Ask if they watch Cops.
33. Ask if they ever watched Cop Rock.
34. Giggle if they did.
35. Talk to your hand.
36. Ask if they know somone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.
37. Accuse them of Sexual Harassment if they do.
38. When they frisk you, say You missed a spot, and grin.
39. When they ask to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.
40. Try to sell them your car.
41. Ask if you can buy their car.
42. If they take you to the station, ask to sit in front.
43. Play with the siren.
44. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.
45. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner.
46. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner.
47. Ask if they ever had pu-tang.
48. If they ask what it is, point at them and giggle.
49. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in languages.
50. When they act confused, keep talking, look at them and laugh.
51. When you are in the back, touch their neck through the fencing.
52. Turn your head and whistle.
53. When they pull out their night stick, say what you gonna do with that.
54. If you are of the opposite sex, say I don't do that on the first date.
55. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, su*ck your thumb, and whine.
56. Ask if you can see their gun.
57. When they say you aren't allowed, tell them "I just wanted to see if mine was bigger."
58. Stare at their lights and say "Look at the pretty colors!"
59. Tell them you like men/women in uniform.
60. Ask if you can borrow their uniform for a Halloween party

Ways to annoy others on an elevator:
1) Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside, and ask, "Got enough air in there?"
2) Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall without getting off.
3) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as you're embarassed when they open themselves.
4) Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) Meow occasionally.
6) Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) Say -DING at each floor.
8) Say "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) Drop a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) Swat at flies that don't exist.
22) Call out "Group hug" then enforce it

23) Hold a paper in your hand were it stands ‘ERROR’ and mumble to your self “I wonder why this was taped to the door?”

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't.
this is this cat
this is is cat
this is how cat
this is to cat
this is keep cat
this is a cat
this is retard cat
this is busy cat
this is for cat
this is forty cat
this is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on.

Repost this if you agree with it.
Idon't care if you're gay or straight; everybody needs love.
I don't care if you're diseased with an incurable sickness; everybody deserves a chance.
I don't care if you're ugly or pretty; everybody has flaws.
I don't care if you're black or white; everybody has the same capabilities.
I don't care if you're weird; everybody needs to change.
I don't care if you're rich or poor; everybody needs warmth.
I don't care if you're different; everybody is.

I Have A Few Questions . . .
If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Do stairs go up or down?
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
When French people swear do they say “Pardon my English?”
Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?
Why do they put Braille on the drive through bank machines?
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
If a person with Multiple Personality Disorder threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation?

Listed below are some quotes. I'm not fond of all of them, but they do seem to be accurate in some situations and I don't have the heart to get rid of them.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest telling us to sit down and shut up.
I'd rather be hated for who I am then loved for who I'm not.
Some people say that things happen because other people make them. Some people say things happen for no reason. And I, know things happen because of Fate.
Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is just another word for cold. so if I'm not cold, I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Boys are like Slinky's. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
Wherever I go, I'm looked down upon for my faith. People tell me I'm gong to hell for it. They discriminate me. Yet, I'm the one feeling sorry for them.
Perfection is the pursuit of perfection.
When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. When life gives you more, you throw them back, because really, who likes lemons? And when it gives you even more, squirt them in their eyes and see how much life likes lemons then.
Guns don't kill people. People kill people.
If guns don't kill people, ten can I blame all my misspells on my pencil?
I know I just said 'Guns don't kill people. People kill people.' But I think that guns help! I mean, not much would happen if you just sit there and yell 'BOOM'
My friend overheard some people talking about me. How weird I was, how creepy, how wrong. But I just said 'I feel sorry for them' because I have a friend who told me, while their friends would sooner be the ones saying it.
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend/girlfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. But a Best Friend will be sitting next to you saying "Let's do it again!"
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity got framed.
No I won't go to hell! They have a restaining order against me!
I used all my sick days so I called in dead.
Life isn't trying to pass me by; it's trying to run m over!
You're just jealous because I'm the only one the voices talk to.
I talk to myself because mine are the only answers I accept!
The extinction of the dinosoars was no accident. Barney came along and they all committed suicide.
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.
When in doubt, make words up!
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you!
If you're going to be two-faced sweetie, at least make one of them pretty!
Don't worry about the end of the world coming today- it's already tomorrow in Australia.
Kids are the future. Be afraid, Be very afraid!
Welcome to the dark side. We have cookies! Of, that red stuff leaking out of them?...That's cooking oil.
Before you criticize a person, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and have their shoes!
An idiot is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire their work.
Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss!
There is no 'I' in team, but there is an 'I' in PIE, an so there is an 'I' in MEAT PIE and since MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...
Newscaster ase the people who tell you "Good evening" and then procede to tell you why it's not.
Two things are infinite; infinity, and human stupidity. Not so sure about infinity...
Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible?
Don't you dare tell me that the sky is the limit while there are footsteps on the moon!
I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly.
Don't hit kids. Seriously, they have guns now.
WARNING- lost kids will be sold to the circus
If your heart was really broken, you'd be dead. So SHUT UP!
I don't have a dog. I eat my own homework.
WARNING- stop throwing your cigarette butts on the carpet! Seriously, the cockroaches are getting cancer!
There are three kinds of people- those who count, and those who can't.
Warning: trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.
Welcome to the internet! Pants optional.
If I throw a stick, will you go away?
The grass may be greener, but it's just as hard to mow!
If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off.
I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
I like you. When I rule the world your death will be quick and painless.
"God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman."
"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"
“When there's a will, I want to be in it."
Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor
It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?
Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.
Life isn't a garden so stop being a hoe.
If life gives you lemons, throw them back at the jerk who gave 'em to ya and demand chocolate.
Give a person a fish, you feed them for a day; Teach a person to use the Internet, they won't bother you for weeks.
Don't frown, even when you’re sad, someone could be falling in love with your smile
Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
Music is love in search of word
My heart is not a playground
To a guy love is only a chapter but to a girl its her whole book.
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
Life is short" What? Name one thing you do that is longer than life.
"Don't you wish you could have your cake and eat it too?" What is the point of having a cake if you can't eat it?
I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
You never know what you're capable of until you see what you've done.
You know, I just might to have to send my dictionary minions to attack you with words consisting of three syllables or more. You'll never withstand it.
On the way back they sang a number of tuneful and reflective songs on the subjects of peace, justice, morality, culture, sport, family life and the obliteration of all other life forms.
"Good! Good! Good! You're wrong, but you're wrong in an interesting way!"

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

If someone says there are a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if someone say that there is wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

My favorite word is sarcasm.

Oops, I appear to have fallen on your lips.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

Mental Hospital Phone Menu:

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital!
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blond, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
Just to tell you, if you have read every word so far it means that you definitely ARE crazy or weird, and you should DEFINITELY put at least those ones on your profile.

Kissing is healthy. Bananas are good for period pain. It's good to cry. Chicken soup actually makes you feel better. 94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers. Lying is actually unhealthy. You really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes. It's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you. 89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move. It's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed. Chocolate will make you feel better. Most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing. A good friend never judges. A good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any. Boys aren't worth your tears. We all love surprises. Now... make a wish. Wish REALLY hard!! WISH, WISH, WISH, WISH. Your wish has just been received. Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...Your wish will be granted.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:
When she walks away from you mad, follow her
When she stares at your mouth, kiss her
When she pushes you or hits you, grab her and don’t let go
When she starts cussing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet, ask her what’s wrong
When she ignores you, give her your attention
When she pulls away, pull her back
When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying, just hold her and don’t say a word
When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared, protect her
When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steals your favorite hat, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay
When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up
When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand
When she grabs at your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers
When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does
When she misses you, she's hurting inside
When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away
When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers
When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it
Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything
When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go
When she says she's ok, don’t believe it, talk with her, because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her, call her before you sleep and after you wake up
Treat her like she's all that matters to you
Tease her and let her tease you back
Stay up all night with her when she's sick
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid
Give her the world, let her wear your clothes
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her, let her know she's important
Kiss her in the pouring rain
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Whose ass am I kicking babe?"


One Nation, 'Under Allah.'
One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in a
classroom. The teacher was going to explain
evolution to the children. The teacher asked
a little boy: Tommy do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes..
TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?
TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see
if you can see the sky.
TOMMY: Okay (He returned a few minutes later)
Yes, I saw the sky.
TEACHER: Did you see God up there?
TEACHER: That's my point. We can't see
God because he isn't there. Possibly he just
doesn't exist.
A little girl spoke up and wanted to ask the boy some questions.
The teacher agreed and the little girl
asked the boy: Tommy, do you see the tree outside?
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the teacher?
LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?
LITTLE GIRL: Then according to what we
were taught today in school, she possibly
may not even have one!
(You Go Girl!)

Edward Cullen
Sexier than you since 1901

Jasper Hale
Smoother than you since 1843

Rosalie Hale
Prettier than you since 1915

Alice Cullen
Quirkier than you since 1901

Emmett Cullen
Stronger than you since 1935

Bella Swan
Luckier than you will ever be.

A stranger stabs you in the front

A friend stabs you in the back

A boyfriend stabs your heart

Best Friends only poke each other with straws

Daddy's Poem:

Her hair was up in a ponytail, her favorite dress tied with a bow,

Today was Daddy's Day at school and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home,

Why the kids not might understand, if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid, she knew just what to say,

What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone,

And that was why, once again, she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all,

About a dad she never sees, a dad who never calls.

There were daddy's along the wall in back for everyone to meet.

Children squirming impatiently, Anxious in their seats.

One by one the teacher called, a student from the class,

To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare,

Each of them was searching, a man who wasn't their.

"Where's her daddy at?" She heard a boy call out.

"She probably doesn't have one." another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say,

"Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her, as she smiled up at her mom,

And looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back, she slowly began to speak,

And out of the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique.

"My daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away,

But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know,

All about my daddy, and how he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories, he taught me to ride my bike,

He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone,

And though you cannot see him, I'm not standing here alone.

'Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart,

I know because he told me he'll forever be in my heart.”

With that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest,

Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress.

And somewhere in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears,

Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love, of a man not in her life,

Doing what was best for her, doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd,

She finished with a voice so soft, but it's message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star,

And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far.

You see he is a Marine, and died just this past year,

When a roadside bomb hit his convoy, and taught Canadians to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away,"

And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day.

And to her mother's amazement, she witnessed with surprise,

A room full of daddy's and children, all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside,

Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him by her side.

"I know your with me daddy," to the silence she called out,

And what happened next, made believers out of those once filled with doubt.

Not one of them could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed,

But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant, long-stemmed, pink rose.

And a child was blessed for only a moment, by the love of her shining star,

And given the gift of believing that heaven is never too far.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire lifetime to forget them.

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book.

I am the girl that people look through when I say something.

I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.

I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face.

I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone.

I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. (Actually never)

I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dancer4Life15,Marigold Winters, SparklingTopazEyes, FairyNinjaPrincess, MyImmortal01, Twilightxfanatic21, Twilightloverforeverandever, HarryArtemis1220, edwardcullenissosexy, all-hail-the-jello, Karren1109, maddythetwilightfreak, Starrynytex, MelissaRM, pcolocoful

Something to remember!

Emmett is the strongest,

Alice is the smartest

Bella is the clumsiest

Carlisle is the most skilled

Rosalie is the prettiest

Esme is the kindest

Edward is the fastest,

but Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make you feel jealous!

.••) .•) .•).•) .•)
(.• (.•(.•(.•(.•(.• Pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, died, or is living with cancer

I have been diagnosed
with Obsessive Cullen
Disorder put this on your
profile if you have it too.





If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile (I'm not crazy... but Edward says hi.)

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly stupid, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've reread TWILIGHT and NEW MOON over ten times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is the cutest boy on the planet copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingies, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

Just talk behind my back but remember to turn me around first if you agree copy and past this to your profile

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think the Cocoa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you went to sleep at around 2 am reading Twilight and/or New Moon, copy and pastes this onto your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you knew that ‘Therapist’ split up becomes ‘The Rapist’ copy this to your profile

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

If you have a worse memory than Tommy Oliver, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you know who that is and laughed at that joke, copy and paste this onto your profile

Top 72 twilight obsessed things to do

1. You keep re-reading the series, even though you know pretty much every line.

2. You never put down the books when you read them the first time.

3. You were counting down the days until breaking dawn came out.

4. You can’t help but smile whenever you think of Edward.

5. The name Edward is no longer dumb and weird to you.

6. Whenever someone says, “Hey, you want to go shopping?” you automatically think of Alice.

7. You want to move to Forks, Seattle, Phoenix, or Port Angeles.

8. When you see someone barely starting the series, you want to punch them for not reading it sooner.( even though you don't punch)

9. When you see someone reading Twilight, you go over to them and say how much you like it, to which they give you a weird look and walk away.

10. You cried during some parts of the books, and laughed at others.

11. The name Victoria sends chills down your spine. (shudder)

12. Twilight is your favourite time of day

13. You have imagined yourself as one of the Cullens and or characters in the book

14.You have had pretend conversations with one of the book characters in your mind.

15. After you read the book, apples became your favourite fruit.

1 6.You wish you were a vampire.

17. You squealed with joy when Edward and Bella reunited in New moon.

18. Your friends get scared around you when you start to talk about Twilight.

19. When your friends bring up Twilight, they smack their heads because they know you're going to go on a never ending rant

20. you go on a never ending rant when someone brings up twilight

21. When you see someone wearing glitter you think of vampires

22. You wished your name was Bella and have yelled at your parents about it

23. Instead of asking yourself questions like, “I wonder why we as humans are alive?” you ask, “I wonder what will happen in Breaking Dawn”

24.You hate the name Jacob with a passion.

25. Black is now your least favourite colour. (Sorry Jacob fans)

26.Your teachers at school ask you why your reading log mostly consists of the Twilight series.

27. You dress up like a Cullen on Halloween and people ask you why you’re not wearing a costume but a lot of glitter and expensive brand clothes borrowed from your friends.

28. You read fan fictions about Twilight online and it’s the only website you’re on anymore.

29. You’ve written Cullen as your last name

30. When you went to an Italian restaurant, you ordered the mushroom ravioli.

31. You listen to your heartbeat more often

32. You look at your doctor and think, “Carlisle’s better”

33. Topaz is your favourite gemstone.

34. You wish you were born if November so topaz would be your birthstone

35. You wish your birthday was also June 20th, like Edward’s

36. Your parents have grounded you from the books until you get breaking dawn.

37. Mountain lions are your favourite animal

38. You’ve tried to read peoples mind, see the future, change people’s emotions, or make them be in excruciating pain.

39. You cried during New Moon, more than you've cried ever before in a book.

40. You get very mad and gasp when people say they have never heard of Twilight.

41. You jump every time you hear "Edward" or "Bella"

42. You can't focus on your work/homework because you could be reading one of the books again.

43. You name your pet/computer/car after one of the Twilight characters

44. you relate everything in life to Bella and Edward and anything else that goes on in the books.

45. You began to look after men/women that have pale skin, dark eyes and are absolutely gorgeous.

46. You want to go cliff diving because Bella did it.

47. You want to ride motorcycles, just because Bella did.

48. You read your books while you eat, or you just don't eat at all.

49. When you fall over or nearly get hit by a big van you call it a Bella moment.

50. You fall over alot and almost get hit by big vans.

51. You sleep with your books in your bed at night.

52. You've memorized every page number in all three books and know the content of each.

53. You start a Twilight-themed website.

54. You and your friends make Twilight tees that say "I'd rather die than be with Mike Newton" and wear them to school on the same day.

55. Instead of shouting "I HAVE TO PEE!" you say "I need a human minute."

56. You hate gym only because Bella does, too.

57. Everytime someone speaks of one named Edward, you jump on their back.

58. You refuse to eat human food, because the Cullens don't.

59. You think in Fanfic.

60. Every sentence you say begins with "Twilight".

61.You would name your kid Carlisle in a heartbeat.

62. If someone is cold/warm when you touch them, you scream "YOU'RE A WEREWOLF/ VAMPIRE! And THEN jump on them.

63. You call your English/Science/Trig teachers there respective Twilight characters (i.e., Mr. Berty, Mr. Banner, Mr. Varner, Coach Clapp)

64. You become a vegetarian, because you are just halfway there to "vegetarian vampire."

65. You refuse a date with the most popular guy in school because he's not "your Edward."

66. You have answered "duh," "yes," or "omg YEAH" to all or any of these questions.

67. You give complements/insults in the following format: "You know what, you are such a insert name of character here.

68. If someone mentions they haven't read the series, *gasp* you start yelling at them until they do.

69. You demand that your parents take you to Forks over spring break/summer vacation, etc.

70.On a sunny day, you're depressed because you know you won't see any vampires.

71. You’ve called your friend ‘Bella’

72. You're reading this list for this long.

1.Put your iTunes (or iPod) on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer


Shake That. (I love to dance)


Miss You. (I don’t have any friends)


Kiss N Tell. (gossip, gossip, gossip, well well what to do?)

4.WHAT IS 22?



Heaven. (if I had one)


Supermassive black hole (okay, what are that supposed to mean??)


Tik Tok. (oh shit another day of my life)


I Told You So. (Wait! What did I tell you?)


So Small. (uhm that was just weird, wait – haven't I had this question before...)


Runaway (yes from cleaning my room)


No, No. (Yeah... definitely not going to happen.)


SuperStar (oh, yeah!!!)


New Moon (The Meadow). (that makes sense)


I Don’t Wanna Fight. (Why is it a sceret, everybody already knows...)


Dry Your Eyes (What a coincidence! Told you I didn’t have any)


Full Moon. (Okay….?)


Spotlight. (I’d probably die of embarrassment)


Swear It Again (Radio Edit). (Well, don’t make promises you can’t keep I guess…?)


Love Story. (I don’t know some does but some are just sad)


Tell Me Why.


Boom, Boom, Pow (I'll take that as a No then, should I?)


Monsters. (remember people vampires are Not and I repeat Not monsters!)


Hungover. (Yes and No?)


Boys, Boys, Boys ( What...will I change the word so it not any boys left won’t that mean I will never be born? Or will I Yes, no…? My head hurts.)


Who Do You Think You Are? (I guess it would hurt if someone asked me THAT )


Can’t Lose What You Never Had (true, true)

10 commandments of a Teenager

1)Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(Why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Wal-Mart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(Destruction has a bigger effect)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(Everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Just start them)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(Just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "Just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(Just leave ‘em in the middle)

I was never the kind of girl to look at boys

I was always sitting alone in my room

I was never the kind of girl to paint my nails

I was never the one to have makeovers

I was never the kind of girl who was talking hours on the phone

I am the kind of girl who know who I am who is proud of who I am and don’t want it ANY other way

One bright day in the middle of the night
two dead boys got up to fight

Back to back they faced each other

drew their swords and shot each other

a deaf policeman heard the noise

and ran to save those two dead boys

and if you don’t believe it’s true

ask the blind man, he saw it too

This is a true story:

A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

Harry and Lupin's conversation:

Harry: Are you really a werewolf?

Lupin: Yes Harry.

Harry: Are you fucking Serious?!
Lupin: All the time.

Harry: O-o What?

Lupin: what?

Harry: ...

If you got the joke and found it extremely funny, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, alannaswarrior, random.clumsy.vampire, sara811,craznektwlightperson13, dazzlingnsparkling, authors-ideas-stories, EdwardCullenlvr17, pcolocoful

If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile.


92 of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch or Hollister said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're one of the 8 who would be watching and laughing and add ur name to this list. XxcrimsonxgothicxtidexX, kunoichixakura,cherryblossom429,colourfulgurl, Skye Sasuke, Rayen 'Tora' King, pcolocoful


98 of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.


If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile!


If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because your a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, copy and paste this into your profile.


If you threaten inanimate objects, copy and paste this into your profile


If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.


If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.


My best friend is insane. If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, copy this into your profile!

If you are MORE insane, copy and paste this into your profile


For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself . So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

Stupid Racist People...

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me colored"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Copy this onto your site and help stop racism!

25 Things I Learnt From My Mother

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Your One and Only Wish (This is really cool)


1. write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green.

3. your first initial?

4. your month of birth?

5. which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. your favorite number?

8. do you like California of Florida more?

9. do you like the lake or ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one.)

Are you done? If so, Pencils down. DON'T CHANGE YOU ANSWERS!!

Ok, Now Scroll down to see you results!

(Don't cheat--)

Your Results Are:...

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and you life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: you are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the one you love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

3. If you're initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and you love life is soon to blossom

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If You were born in:

Jan-Mar: The year will for very well for you and you will discover the you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr-June: you will have a strong love relationship that will no long but the memories will last forever

July-Sept: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good.

Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.

5. If you choose...

Black: your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you and you will be glad for the change.

white: You will have a friend who completely confides in ykou and would do anything for you but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose...

California: You like adventure.

Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...

Lake: You are loyal to you friends and you love. And you are very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you Re-post this bulletin in one hours and it will come true before your next birthday

Cinderella walked on broken glass.
Sleeping Beauty let a whole lifetime pass.
Belle fell in love with a hideous beast.
Jasmine married a common theif.
Ariel walked on land for love and life.
Snow White barely escaped a knife.
It was all about blood, sweat and tears,
Because love means facing your biggest fears.

Most girls sit there waiting for a prince to come and save them. if your one of the few that would much rather save yourself, copy this to your profile.


X You love hoodies.
X You love jeans.
X Dogs are better than cats.’’
X It's hilarious when people get hurt.
X You've played with/against boys on a team.
X Shopping is torture.
X Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
X Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
X You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
X Gory movies are cool.
X You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
X You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
X It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
X Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
X You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night



You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
X You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics/dance?
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
X You smile a lot more than you should.
X You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
X You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.(just the perfume)
X You love the movies.
X Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing


if you read all this then you are amazing

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

A Witch and her Vampire by SixPerfections reviews
Since she was a little girl Isabella Black has been hunted by the Volturi for reasons unknown. Her only protection is Victoria, a vampire unwillingly bound as her protector. On the run the two of them arrive in Forks and meet a family of vegetarian vampires. AU Femslash.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 101,321 - Reviews: 749 - Favs: 650 - Follows: 1,061 - Updated: 4/16 - Published: 5/8/2014 - [Bella, Victoria] Rosalie, Tanya
Just To Love Her by MissMonsters2 reviews
One jump down led to drowning, which actually led to Bella sinking to year 1920 where she meets pretty, young, proper, and cutely weird Mary Alice Brandon. Bella can't stop the past from playing out but choices and changes happen, which changes everything for Bella fast forward 86 years to the present. What changes? The place where Alice resides in her heart. A/B the slow bang.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 101,165 - Reviews: 805 - Favs: 572 - Follows: 888 - Updated: 4/14 - Published: 8/29/2013 - Alice, Bella
The Berserker by Trueloveaddict-ally reviews
I'd grown up hearing stories about the monster that terrorized the world. It destroys towns and cities, defeats any and all challengers, and can disappear without a trace. No one who sees it survives. It's rumoured that one person is destined to defeat it, control it. Too bad I didn't know that was me. OOC AU Bellice
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 7 - Words: 8,648 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 4/9 - Published: 11/22/2012 - [Bella, Alice]
Tricks of the Dead by apple2011 reviews
When Bella Swan dies she discovers that Death is not the welcoming force she thought, instead she finds herself striking a deal to stay where she belongs. The deal is simple; she will never be able to die. Though as this deal unfolds she finds herself lost in sudden feelings for a certain pixie cut vampire. Bellice
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 37,179 - Reviews: 246 - Favs: 267 - Follows: 468 - Updated: 3/23 - Published: 4/1/2014 - Alice, Bella
Survival of the Fittest by SkinnyLittleLesbian reviews
Prehistoric AU; Life has always been difficult for everyone - but Emma's pretty sure she's had to deal with more cat dung than most other troglodytes she's encountered. All in all, though, she is doing well for herself. She's surviving, which is more than she can say for certain other people who need rescuing. Swan Queen. Warnings for some violence, slight abuse, and sexual content
Once Upon a Time - Rated: M - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,356 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 24 - Published: 3/7 - [Emma S., Regina M./The Evil Queen] - Complete
In The Shadows by MonsterGalore reviews
5 years ago...After robbing the biggest bank in NYC , Isabella escapes to Texas to start new, but it turns out that old habits die hard, and her past is starting to creep up on her, threatening to destroy her new and perfect life she has created. All-human, nothing supernatural in this story. main paring will be Rosalie and Isabella...other parings are normal...sorta. Read,Enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Crime - Chapters: 64 - Words: 115,050 - Reviews: 402 - Favs: 204 - Follows: 289 - Updated: 2/23 - Published: 11/8/2013 - [Bella, Rosalie]
Beneath and Beyond by MonsterGalore reviews
Sometimes I have to go beyond my limits for love, even if that means going beneath my values of life. Power over the mind, body and soul is a privilege not a right. Alice and Bella fiction. All human. BDSM subculture. Enjoy:)
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 41 - Words: 99,288 - Reviews: 421 - Favs: 205 - Follows: 322 - Updated: 2/13 - Published: 6/25/2014 - [Alice, Bella]
The Ultimate Gift by Dakota829Snow reviews
From "The Last Resort" / "Desperate Measures" Universe: a magic!baby fic telling the story of Regina's pregnancy with Charlotte.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: M - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 17 - Words: 107,392 - Reviews: 549 - Favs: 407 - Follows: 762 - Updated: 2/7 - Published: 11/16/2013 - [Emma S., Regina M./The Evil Queen]
Distorted Shadows by MythicalRift reviews
Bella has been seeing things that she cant really explain. She has decided to move back to forks in hopes that the creatures that have been appearing would leave her alone. Her plan backfires when she finds out that the Cullen's are a family of vampires. Now she has to find a way to face her fears not only of the creatures, but of the Cullen's as well.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 18 - Words: 99,113 - Reviews: 427 - Favs: 391 - Follows: 522 - Updated: 1/27 - Published: 12/7/2012 - [Alice, Bella]
Temporal Tide by Avanwolf reviews
AU. Heartbroken and lost, ripped from her home and turned against her will, Bella tries to learn what it means to be a vampire. Skipping through time, can a love a thousand years in the making come to fruition? Tanya/Bella Femslash. Time Travel.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 69,709 - Reviews: 1518 - Favs: 1,320 - Follows: 1,642 - Updated: 1/10 - Published: 4/10/2012 - [Bella, Tanya]
Rising Sun by TweetyBird18 reviews
A whole different take on the Twilight world. Bella isn't weak, far from it in fact. She falls in love...And never saw what was happening before it was too late... Bellice. M for a reason.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 9 - Words: 19,951 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 191 - Updated: 1/5 - Published: 8/29/2010 - Alice, Bella
The Monster by MyTwiDreams reviews
If you know death is coming for you, shouldn't you try to escape it? Bellice/AU/femslash/Complete
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 28,707 - Reviews: 185 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 192 - Updated: 12/30/2014 - Published: 10/30/2014 - [Alice, Bella]
The Mess We Made by venice m reviews
Rosalie is right. Why fight it? You know she is going to win this battle anyway. You might as well give in. All my thoughts of guilt, shame and betrayal go out the window and I give in to temptation. AU. Bella/Rosalie femslash.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 78,810 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 229 - Updated: 12/19/2014 - Published: 10/24/2011 - Bella, Rosalie
The Wild Ones by Artistia reviews
Forced to leave her daughter when first changed, Rosalie goes back for Isabella, only to be told she is dead. What if little Bella was found and raised by a human drinking vampire? What changes will this bring in the lives of the Cullens, and, more importantly, the Denali sisters?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 132,060 - Reviews: 1237 - Favs: 1,145 - Follows: 1,372 - Updated: 12/17/2014 - Published: 5/13/2013 - [Bella, Tanya] Rosalie, Victoria - Complete
The Werebear by 24hrdaydreamer reviews
A bella/alice with my OC character as one of bella's friends. Just another fun fic that deals with character development and an introduction of a new species. Some language expected and nudity, but nothing eye popping. AU with Alice/Bella and Rosalie/OC and Leah/OC with other normal pairings. Slow to update, sorry in advance.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 12 - Words: 60,194 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 235 - Updated: 12/16/2014 - Published: 5/19/2012 - Alice, Bella, Rosalie
It's Little, And Broken, But Still Good by DarkWingsDarkWords48 reviews
One night of passion leads to an unexpected outcome that will pull Emma and Regina together once more as they navigate their own emotions, and the reactions of their friends and family. Swan Queen, Emma/Regina, Post Season 4A AU, Magic!Baby fic. Rated T or now, may increase in the future.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 30,029 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 166 - Follows: 412 - Updated: 12/8/2014 - Published: 11/15/2014 - [Emma S., Regina M./The Evil Queen] Henry Mills, Snow White/Mary M. Blanchard
The Joys of Lycanthropy by Foxipaw reviews
Bella's life is turned upside down in the span of a week. Shifters and Vampires and Lycans, oh my! Now she must learn to live with powerful new abilities, a deadly family secret, old friends turned enemies, new enemies turned friends, and strangest yet, a mate. Suddenly Bella is powerful and important, a major player instead of a pawn. BxA, EdxOC, JxOC, RxEm, CxEs.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 23 - Words: 113,203 - Reviews: 675 - Favs: 693 - Follows: 1,047 - Updated: 11/27/2014 - Published: 2/5/2013 - Bella, Alice
When Fire Meets Ice by MV23 reviews
"I am a full-blooded werewolf with superhuman strength and speed. I'm allergic to silver and am affected by the curse of the moon. I've been alone for centuries…a rogue wolf, with no one or nothing to live for, and frankly, I don't give a damn anymore. I just exist." OOC Bella. Bellice pairing. Vampire/Werewolf pairing.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 51,691 - Reviews: 584 - Favs: 836 - Follows: 1,343 - Updated: 10/29/2014 - Published: 11/22/2011 - [Alice, Bella]
Your Trash Is My Mate by Raising-Hell14 reviews
Takes place during New Moon right as Edward leaves Bella in the woods. Thanks to Alice Tanya is there to help Bella in her time of need. Will Bella give into Tanya so easy after getting her heart broken by Edward, or will she open up her heart to the one womanhow can actually take care of it? Warning:Tanya is a Hermaphrodite
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,325 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 298 - Follows: 511 - Updated: 10/22/2014 - Published: 7/17/2012 - Bella, Tanya
Honeysuckle by Positively Barbaric reviews
Set in the 1800s, Isabella Swan had waited years to be with her mates, and, already having one, the brunette plans to sweep the blonde off her feet with Alice by her side. Though most things, as you'll find, are never that easy. A/R/B.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 17,775 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 172 - Follows: 315 - Updated: 10/8/2014 - Published: 3/14/2014 - Alice, Bella, Rosalie
On Broken Wings by paulinemcc reviews
Summary inside.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 81,379 - Reviews: 326 - Favs: 314 - Follows: 485 - Updated: 8/31/2014 - Published: 1/1/2010 - Alice, Bella
The Mates by duke4life3443 reviews
I've never had a normal life, even for an ancient lycan, but even this is too much for me. My name is Bella Swan, ancient lycan, alpha, and now mated to three vampires. Futa Warning.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,517 - Reviews: 136 - Favs: 344 - Follows: 591 - Updated: 8/16/2014 - Published: 3/21/2014 - [Bella, Alice, Rosalie, Tanya]
Gifted by Darcythe2nd reviews
A terrible gift manifests itself in Bella at a young age and forces her to run for seven long years. 16 now, she has gained some control over the monster inside her and begins to hope for a normal life with her father in Forks, if he can ever forgive her. In Forks she meets and falls in love with the Cullens, who help her come to terms with her past. Femslash. Bella/Rosalie. AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 81 - Words: 223,229 - Reviews: 2793 - Favs: 1,242 - Follows: 1,629 - Updated: 8/9/2014 - Published: 1/21/2013 - Bella, Emmett, Rosalie
The Slave girl and her Alpha by Create The Great reviews
The cross breeding of packs is strictly forbidden, good thing Alice isn't an hybrid of two packs. Taken as a slave she meets the young but ready alpha: Isabella. She's taken under her wing as her mate but that doesn't necessarily mean protection. Alice is drawn into a worse world than she came from. She finds her self battling along side her mate for her life, survival and secrets.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 81 - Words: 243,612 - Reviews: 798 - Favs: 196 - Follows: 263 - Updated: 6/10/2014 - Published: 6/20/2013 - Alice, Bella - Complete
Tossing Stones 2 - In the Sea by Princess Alexandria reviews
Sequel to Tossing Stones - Bella's circle of friends and admirers grows, much to Rosalie's displeasure. Rose wants to slowly introduce the idea of being with Bella to the human, but with all this competition slow may not win the race.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,965 - Reviews: 581 - Favs: 898 - Follows: 1,249 - Updated: 5/11/2014 - Published: 9/1/2013 - Bella, Rosalie, Emmett, Irina
Changing Clans by MegaRune reviews
Bella Purser was born into a long line of alpha wolf shifters. She was going to take up as new alpha, but something unexpected takes place causing her to be banished. She meets Alice and her family and they help her through her difficult time. Bella/Alice If you don't like, then I apologize.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 34,967 - Reviews: 218 - Favs: 242 - Follows: 383 - Updated: 5/5/2014 - Published: 7/12/2013 - Alice, Bella
Rising Phoenix by OutProud94 reviews
Six months after the Cullens left in New Moon, Bella has begun healing but after a fight with Jacob she runs into Jane and Alec in the forest. When she wakes up she is in the Volturi Castle, she is made an offer she cannot refuse. Join them and she can seek her own revenge against the Cullens when she feels ready. She may even find her unexpected mate along the way. Femslash!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 70,317 - Reviews: 346 - Favs: 631 - Follows: 590 - Updated: 4/19/2014 - Published: 9/5/2013 - Bella, Jane - Complete
Autistic Love by xXAnonymousOneXx reviews
Bella, age 17 suffers from ASD (Autism Spectric Disorder), After moving to Forks with her Mom to live with her father... She meets a certain.. Vampire? BxA, Bellice, BellaxAlice pairing, you've been warned, don't like don't read. Rated T, for now, but will be Rated M for later chapters. All rights go to Stephanie Meyer of course, I only own story line and personalities.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,467 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 170 - Updated: 4/7/2014 - Published: 3/24/2014 - Alice, Bella, Renée, Charlie S.
Awakening by AeonUS reviews
Bella has disturbing night visits from a vampire. Alice decides she needs to intervene. How far will she go to get in between and pursue Bella? Femslash/Bellice.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 21 - Words: 78,147 - Reviews: 290 - Favs: 357 - Follows: 569 - Updated: 3/8/2014 - Published: 6/19/2011 - Alice, Bella
An Imprint of a Life Time by A Charmed Vampire reviews
Leah's life was less than prefect. Then she imprinted on Isabella Swan. She hated the girl at first, but now? She's her life, but there is something about Bella, what is she hiding? FemSlash, Jacob Bashing, Bella/Leah Pairing. Don't like, don't read. Discontinued & being rewritten under "The Life We Live" also written by me.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 30,677 - Reviews: 140 - Favs: 266 - Follows: 357 - Updated: 3/6/2014 - Published: 12/26/2010 - Bella, Leah
Coming Home by xLSx reviews
AU. The Cullens left in New Moon and Victoria changed Bella. Together along with Jacob, Seth and Leah they have lived in Forks for over a century. What happens when the Cullens come back?.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 44 - Words: 334,690 - Reviews: 523 - Favs: 618 - Follows: 529 - Updated: 1/25/2014 - Published: 6/11/2011 - [Bella, Rosalie] - Complete
Impossibilities by elvenkendra reviews
"It seems that I was right though." Alice chuckled. "You like me after all." With a small wave, Alice stepped in her car and drove away, leaving me there. Alice/Bella. All human. Just read and find out :)
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 38,501 - Reviews: 173 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 238 - Updated: 1/6/2014 - Published: 1/1/2013 - Alice, Bella
Mysteries of the Heart by hiddentrouble94 reviews
Renee gets remarried and Charlie is dead so Bella decides to go to boarding school in Forkes where she meets the Cullens. She becomes friends with Alice and falls in love with someone unexpected. AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 10 - Words: 21,061 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 207 - Updated: 12/30/2013 - Published: 4/19/2010 - Bella, Rosalie
Dissonant by LilithBrandon reviews
AU: literally. The last Cullen standing is Bella. Actually, she's not standing; she's tumbling down a mountain and into a totally new existence. Only she doesn't know it yet. Everything is all messed up in this new world. Edward was not supposed to be mated to Rose, and why does Alice keep looking at her like *that*? Why the heck is everyone a Whitlock instead of a Cullen?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 36,853 - Reviews: 167 - Favs: 218 - Follows: 321 - Updated: 12/18/2013 - Published: 12/4/2013 - [Bella, Alice]
Not so alone, after all by PassionIsKey reviews
Isabella Swan. Rich, beautiful, intelligent. Isabella Swan. Lonely, insecure, unloved. Isabella just started her senior year. She has no friends, her parents aren't around and she's just plain lonely. In comes Rosalie Hale. Gorgeous, intelligent, kind. And also Isabella's Math teacher. Can Rosalie be the the friend Isabella's been longing for? And more?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 17 - Words: 72,450 - Reviews: 540 - Favs: 321 - Follows: 545 - Updated: 12/15/2013 - Published: 6/11/2013 - Bella, Rosalie
Dragon Tales by Foxipaw reviews
Long ago the world was ruled by one Queen and all was peaceful until the vampires came, wreaking havoc and destroying Utopia. The Queen sent herself and her dragons to sleep for thousands of years, hoping to end the war and to wait until they were needed again. Now Bella has awoken, and she means to set things straight, with a little help from the Cullens. BxA, RxE, CxE, JxOC, ExO
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 13 - Words: 58,302 - Reviews: 281 - Favs: 378 - Follows: 542 - Updated: 10/30/2013 - Published: 7/15/2012 - Bella, Alice
Tarpu Graveris by Trueloveaddict-ally reviews
Life was normal for Alice Cullen and the rest of her family. Well, at least as normal as it can be for a family of vampires. But when something strange comes to the small town of Forks, Washington, the Cullen's had no idea what hit them. A/B
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,645 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 262 - Updated: 9/5/2013 - Published: 4/19/2012 - [Bella, Alice]
Arching Light: Electricity by Mana Tatsumiya reviews
New Moon AU. Bella, turned into a vampire forcibly by Victoria, is chased out of Forks by the pack and wanders helpless, desperate and terrified until a beautiful stranger walks into her life and turns it upside down. Bella/Kate femslash.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,602 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 313 - Follows: 516 - Updated: 9/1/2013 - Published: 9/17/2011 - Bella, Kate
City by ConflictedCalypso reviews
What if Bella never jumped off the cliff? What if the Cullens never came back? Fast-forward four years and Bella's living in a different country, and has left her past behind her. But what will happen when a certain pixie turns up, uninvited? Now (finally!) complete.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 69,472 - Reviews: 546 - Favs: 610 - Follows: 705 - Updated: 8/25/2013 - Published: 12/8/2010 - Alice, Bella - Complete
One rainy day by weny1717 reviews
This will take place during New Moon at the part were Edward leaves but there is a big twist. It is not just Jacob who helps Bella get better but Victoria as well. Why does Victoria help Bella? Femslash don't like don't read. Rated T may change to M for later chapters. no Beta
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 17,933 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 160 - Updated: 8/14/2013 - Published: 5/30/2012 - Bella, Victoria
Goddess by Foxipaw reviews
SEQUEL TO HUNTER! The long awaited Part 2 has finally arrived! Rejoin Bella and her Tribe as they confront what's left of the Askari and attempt to conquer their biggest challenge yet: Total reform of the corrupt Supernatural world. Bella's newly gifted Goddess powers are both blessing and curse when the fate of the Earth and all of it's many denizens rests solely in her hands. BxA
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,583 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 204 - Updated: 8/7/2013 - Published: 8/2/2013 - Bella, Alice
Hunter by Foxipaw reviews
Bella is heir to the throne of a powerful race of people, Hunters. At the top of the food chain, it's her job to maintain the law of the land, something she does very well. Unfortunately this makes her a threat to her corrupted family's way of life. They want her out of the picture, but what will become of a 'suicide mission' to Forks, Washington? B/A, RatingT-M
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 18 - Words: 77,201 - Reviews: 259 - Favs: 448 - Follows: 353 - Updated: 8/2/2013 - Published: 12/30/2011 - Bella, Alice - Complete
Fire Light by ReaperCB919 reviews
Bella comes to Forks not as a weak human, but as a member of a race much more powerful, and ancient than even vampires. What happens when she meets the Cullens, The Pack, and the Humans of The Olympic Peninsula? F/F and multipairing romances. Team Alice.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 6 - Words: 38,473 - Reviews: 252 - Favs: 549 - Follows: 682 - Updated: 7/12/2013 - Published: 4/23/2012 - Alice, Angela, Bella
Sea Foam by NanukXJesseXNalaarXAshe reviews
Bella Swan figured that life in Forks would be tame and almost boring. Then, a hoard of surfers come into town for Surf Competition: Olympia...including the famous Cullen Five. Will Bella find love, or will it be taken away with the tide?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 36 - Words: 219,857 - Reviews: 508 - Favs: 300 - Follows: 349 - Updated: 7/7/2013 - Published: 8/18/2011 - Alice, Bella
Healing the Past by That70sshowlova reviews
Due to experiences as a human, Bella's turned cold and slightly bitter. Until she meets a family of vampires and reunites with someone from her past. Old wounds resurface. Can she find solace in the arms of another vampire, who's had a traumatic human life as well, and forgive her old friend as well as come to terms with her human life? Femslash.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 32,467 - Reviews: 299 - Favs: 392 - Follows: 458 - Updated: 6/23/2013 - Published: 6/19/2012 - Bella, Rosalie - Complete
captured ME hopelessly by QuinntanaEpiphany reviews
Isabella Swan and Skilar Johnson just moved to Forks, Washington. . . After meeting the Cullens everything starts to change. Bella/Rosalie Alice/OC Jane/Emmet Jasper/Edward Carlisle/Esme Esme/? Femslah, AU -QE I'll be back to revise
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 24,577 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 122 - Updated: 6/22/2013 - Published: 8/17/2012 - [Bella, Rosalie] [Alice, OC] - Complete
The People We Could Be by StrangeAttractors reviews
Alice and Bella begin to uncover an intimate side to their friendship, but they soon realize desire is a slippery slope and what may make them happy could devastate the world around them. As if Edward and Jasper weren't enough to worry about, Alice has skeletons in her closet that refuse to be buried in the past and threaten everything she has ever believed in. *Femslash*
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 101,584 - Reviews: 270 - Favs: 266 - Follows: 419 - Updated: 6/14/2013 - Published: 4/23/2011 - Alice, Bella
Cruella's Spear by Phyren Ice reviews
A prick to her finger from an artifact in Mr. Gold's shop leads Emma to believe that Storybrooke & it's fairytale characters are nothing more than an elaborate hallucination created by her mind. Swan Queen. Strong T rating. Read warnings within!
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 8 - Words: 27,077 - Reviews: 153 - Favs: 171 - Follows: 157 - Updated: 6/10/2013 - Published: 4/25/2013 - Emma S., Regina M./The Evil Queen - Complete
Embracing Humanity by Blackstorm808 reviews
Death is absolute. It has no favorites. It has no exceptions. Except one. Bella is death's mediator. She speaks for those who no longer have a voice, and helps balance the spirit world. It's a taxing job and every day a piece of her dies. Her humanity is hanging on by a dangerously thin thread. When the Cullen's pull her into their world will she lose herself entirely? femslash
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 4 - Words: 23,723 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 135 - Updated: 6/9/2013 - Published: 11/29/2012 - Bella
Irreplaceable Spark by glorymania reviews
Cullen family just moved to Forks in 1987. Alice finds a tiny infant with beautiful brown eyes in the woods. The Cullens adopts baby Bella. Read to find out what becomes of Bella's life as she grows up with a house full of vampires. BELLICE eventually.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 32 - Words: 70,316 - Reviews: 1073 - Favs: 635 - Follows: 920 - Updated: 6/4/2013 - Published: 4/3/2013 - Alice, Bella
The Girl Next Door by MyTwiDreams reviews
Alice has never met a girl like Bella before but sometimes opposites attract. A story about a butch Bella who falls in love with her new neighbors daughter./ AH/femslash -Completed
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 6 - Words: 18,695 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 136 - Updated: 5/10/2013 - Published: 2/7/2013 - Alice, Bella - Complete
You Were Meant for Me by dsrtchck reviews
Since the first time I saw her, I could tell something was different about her. She always gave me her full attention. She always did everything to make me smile and keep me happy. She keeps no secrets from me. If she can be so amazing, why can't you, my fiance, be also?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 89,241 - Reviews: 650 - Favs: 673 - Follows: 522 - Updated: 4/27/2013 - Published: 5/25/2012 - [Bella, Kate] - Complete
Acceptance of the past and present by YuriFanGirl15 reviews
Alice and Bella have finally met again. Their love for each other survived death and the passage of time. Their love may not have changed but they themselves have. Both are no longer human and now Bella has more than just Alice to protect. Will Alice and Bella finally get their happily ever after? AlicexBella and other side pairings T-M AU The sequel to Acceptance in hard times.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 11,849 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 4/25/2013 - Published: 7/19/2012 - Bella, Alice
Prince of Darkness by Darla-Lehane reviews
Bella runs away from Forks endin up in Texas where she starts workin for a mob boss she gets her HEA w/the daughter of said mob boss jus 2 have her ripped away from her not coping Bella ends up n bed w/Maria who turns her and makes her cold blooded years later she is reunited w/the Cullen's & some wolves but Bella is a different girl can they bring the old Bella back & what is she?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 15,203 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 201 - Updated: 4/22/2013 - Published: 6/27/2012 - Bella, Kate
The Song Of Flames by GypsyWolfKK reviews
Surrounded by fire, I died but here I am standing before you today.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,069 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 31 - Published: 4/3/2013 - Alice, Bella
Two Girls, One Heart by hisgirlinterrupted reviews
A story about a girl... who loves a girl... who loves a boy.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 17 - Words: 40,561 - Reviews: 142 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 3/28/2013 - Published: 5/15/2012 - Bella, Angela - Complete
Flume by Morphy reviews
Bella swan a well-known name in the world of competitive swimming loses her drive for the sport after the death of her mother. Moving to a small town doesn't help when the people there just won't simply let you give up on what you're good at. AH Bellice
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 82,722 - Reviews: 260 - Favs: 278 - Follows: 307 - Updated: 3/28/2013 - Published: 8/14/2011 - Alice, Bella - Complete
Kicking a werewolf by Darksnow4 reviews
Bella has been left alone in forks since Edward left but what happens when she gets a vistor after trying to kill herself and what happens when you boot a werewolf!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,645 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 3/18/2013 - Published: 5/17/2012 - Bella, Alice
Second Chance by LezSatan13 reviews
What if you had the opportunity to change everything that happened? Would you? Or would you just let it play out like it did before? Follow Bella as she's thrown into the past and what she does avoid making the mistakes she did the first time around.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,927 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 174 - Follows: 306 - Updated: 3/14/2013 - Published: 1/30/2013 - Bella, Tanya
Coastal by Foxipaw reviews
Alice is a promising young fashion designer caught up in the hustle and bustle of L.A, trying to work her way up the ladder. When her boss gives her a new project, to design a Surf & Skate line, her brother sets up a meeting with long time friend and surf shop owner Bella Swan. Worlds collide in this pop meets punk story. Deadlines, tattoos, sand, and love in the California sun. AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,677 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 157 - Updated: 2/15/2013 - Published: 2/9/2013 - Alice, Bella
Trust me by deadlyXivy reviews
When Leah and Bella imprints on two of the Cullen girls their whole world is turned upside down.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 52 - Words: 87,521 - Reviews: 433 - Favs: 501 - Follows: 385 - Updated: 2/7/2013 - Published: 5/23/2010 - Rosalie, Bella - Complete
Bella Wolf by Danny Drak reviews
I stood, my body trembling, in the stream. Wolves growling and snarling on one side of the ravine; vampires waiting to see if I would try to get back on their land on the other. My blood turning the water red. I, Bella Swan, was probably going to die.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 86,302 - Reviews: 445 - Favs: 804 - Follows: 694 - Updated: 1/27/2013 - Published: 7/4/2012 - Alice, Bella - Complete
Adrift - Floatation Device by Princess Alexandria reviews
Christy Taylor (oc) arrived in the world of Twilight during New Moon, and became a vampire immediately. Now she has to try and fit in, and when she goes to find the Cullen's for help she finds Bella alone. She decides to help Bella pull out of her depression and tries to teach her to be stronger, all while trying to keep her safe. (Bella/OC and Bella/OC/Tanya)
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 139,933 - Reviews: 176 - Favs: 584 - Follows: 509 - Published: 1/7/2013 - Bella, Tanya
How I Got My Girlfriend Pregnant by Mrs. Eve Witlock reviews
Rosalie was certain there was something wrong with Bella. She thinks that she's pregnant, but funny because... they're gay.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 11,307 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 73 - Updated: 1/5/2013 - Published: 5/22/2012 - Bella, Rosalie
This Rose Has Thorns by lets get this over with reviews
Chapter 18: She hadn't thought about what her classmates would think of her and Rosalie dating. It was bad enough when she was with Edward. But now she was with Rosalie, the most beautiful woman in the world. And she was gay. They were both gay. Bella knew this wouldn't go over well with the other students.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 27,067 - Reviews: 240 - Favs: 255 - Follows: 383 - Updated: 12/18/2012 - Published: 5/28/2010 - Rosalie, Bella
Neph by Guerrilla Warfare reviews
Imagine a world where Devils and Angels exist. Now imagine a world where both of those creatures want you dead. Now, imagine having to deal with all that, and a talking cat that wants to rip your face off. Horrible, I know. Here's how it goes down... Warning: First work! Definitely Bellice. Now rated T after an epiphany. Dark content, and the rare swear word. AU, OOC, & OC's
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 64,466 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 12/1/2012 - Published: 6/3/2012 - Bella, Alice
The Search by OrangeSmurfette reviews
Isabella Swan never thought that there was anything particularly special about her, until she met Alice Cullen. Everything that she ever thought to be true quickly gets thrown into an abyss of gray and she learns that there is in fact something very special about her. The more she learns about herself the more she discovers her importance in this new world that she is thrown into.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 15 - Words: 151,238 - Reviews: 312 - Favs: 295 - Follows: 402 - Updated: 11/25/2012 - Published: 11/25/2011 - Alice, Bella
The God Children by Dakadakara reviews
Alice has a vision of Rosalie's mate coming to Forks, but when the new kid is a girl, things don't turn out as planned. Bella, though, isn't what she seems. AU, OOC, FF, MM, and some other acronym. Cussing, confusion, and immaturity gone wild.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 17,896 - Reviews: 163 - Favs: 235 - Follows: 365 - Updated: 10/3/2012 - Published: 4/4/2012 - Bella, Rosalie
Learning to be Human by shamrock1787 reviews
Alice thinks she's found a cat while hunting, but it's actually a girl. A completely feral girl with no knowledge of language or human etiquette. What's Alice do? Takes her home of course! A/B, Mostly T, with some sexual situations later on. Enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 51,415 - Reviews: 425 - Favs: 592 - Follows: 837 - Updated: 9/29/2012 - Published: 8/10/2011 - Alice, Bella
It Won't Rain by MyTwiDreams reviews
Alice falls hard for her cousin's charismatic best friend but the beautiful brunette doesn't seem that interested in returning her feelings. Or maybe she's just desperate to keep a secret. Bellice/AH. This story deals with GID Gender Identity Disorder
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 75 - Words: 84,840 - Reviews: 1378 - Favs: 299 - Follows: 244 - Updated: 9/3/2012 - Published: 5/28/2012 - Bella, Alice - Complete
Will you be mine forever? by YuriFanGirl15 reviews
AU Rosalie and Alice have been without a mate since waking up into their new lives, until Bella and Angela Swan roll into the school parking lot. They seem human but what about their reflexes, beauty, and appetite for only meat? Will they be able to make it through that which is unheard of? Will love triumph over everything else? T-M RxB AxAng
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 7 - Words: 18,755 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 226 - Follows: 333 - Updated: 8/25/2012 - Published: 4/11/2012 - Rosalie, Bella
The Volturi's Bell by Mistress-Volturi-09 reviews
It has been months since Edward left her and she isn't Bella Swan anymore. She's confident and ready for revenge.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 17,472 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 200 - Follows: 105 - Updated: 7/16/2012 - Published: 5/26/2012 - Bella, Victoria - Complete
Siren by Mr. Zee Zombie reviews
Bella returns to Forks and finds herself attracted to a vampyre. Their love will bring death and possibly the apocalyse. Can they live in each other's presence for just a moment before one slips away or will they sacrifice everything?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 29,853 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 7/16/2012 - Published: 5/9/2012 - Bella, Rosalie
Acceptance in hard times by YuriFanGirl15 reviews
Set during the West Virginia Mine Wars. Being adopted should be a happy thing. But not for Isabel Lock, she may have wanted to be adopted but not by someone with the intent to use her as a sort of replacement for a so called "defective" daughter. Will Bella be able to protect Alice and herself from the horrors that surround them? BellaxAlice Sequel is up! COMPLETE :D
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 17,320 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 7/12/2012 - Published: 2/11/2012 - Alice, Bella - Complete
It All Makes Sense Now by ashtonangel13 reviews
Alice has been acting a little strange lately. Why? Is there something going on with her? It must be the fact that her business is opening, but that doesn't explain the weird feelings I have when I am with her... Alice, I think I love you. Rated M for content and language later on. AU A/H
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,590 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 6/18/2012 - Published: 5/30/2012 - Bella, Alice
Unexpected Circumstances by h3rshy675 reviews
"You walked into my life like I was a freaking Hollister or something and you expect me to let you go? Like that?" I'm sorry babe, but that's not gonna happen. Not if I have anything to say about it. Rated M for Bella's OOC language. Note: This is a resubmission.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,751 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 6/6/2012 - Published: 6/1/2012 - Bella, Alice
Never Stood a Chance by dsrtchck reviews
You were controlling, she is not. You could barely touch me, she can't keep her hands off me. You didn't want forever, she wants that and more. Tanya/Bella Femslash
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 40 - Words: 125,977 - Reviews: 942 - Favs: 1,016 - Follows: 532 - Updated: 6/5/2012 - Published: 12/18/2011 - [Bella, Tanya] - Complete
The Garden Of Four by WolfDragonGod reviews
Bella is an average girl, struggling with her homosexuality and her life at home. Can the love of not one, but three vampires help show her that she shouldn't be afraid? A/B/R/V.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 33 - Words: 123,598 - Reviews: 947 - Favs: 1,112 - Follows: 550 - Updated: 6/5/2012 - Published: 12/8/2010 - Bella, Alice - Complete
Unsure by iheartds reviews
Bella has a secret crush, but what happens when her crush suddenly wants to be her friend.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,656 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 6/4/2012 - Published: 4/30/2012 - [Bella, Alice]
To Love and Be Loved by WolfDragonGod reviews
Bella has a surprise for her two new wives, even though they had been dating for a while and only married for a few days Bella couldn't wait to show both of her girls her gift to them she just hoped the loved it. Alice and Rose Also had a surprise for the little human; they hoped she was ready for it
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,974 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 138 - Follows: 46 - Published: 6/2/2012 - Alice, Bella - Complete
Fighting for Tomorrow by Darla-Lehane reviews
Bella Swan is the only remaining Angel without her mark when she comes face to face with her kind she begins suffering pains Edward is making a army with James and Laurent Victoria found her true mate & da Wolves n LaPush r evil wat more could ya ask for
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,409 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 30 - Published: 5/4/2012 - Rosalie, Bella
Hot For Teacher by Love be Afraid reviews
Rose seems to be crushing hard on the new teacher. little Rose/Bella with a bit of Leah. Dont own a thang, all S. Meyers. M for mmm-mmm good! Lol, its mature though. Lots of cursing, reference to rape, and crude humor. No likey? Then Get off my thang!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 34,751 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 145 - Updated: 4/19/2012 - Published: 3/6/2012 - Rosalie, Bella
Savior by Lissa Bryan reviews
"I'm not Bella Swan any more. That girl died alone, in the woods, shortly after my eighteenth birthday. I am Death, and Death wears Christian Louboutins." Entry for "Bella's Insane" contest. OOC/AU/M
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,961 - Reviews: 198 - Favs: 273 - Follows: 89 - Published: 4/12/2012 - Bella - Complete
You And I Begin by Hikaru-wa-shiawase-ni-eien-ni reviews
When you meet someone you find yourself falling in love with how do you know if you've really met 'the one? Bellice, rated M for later chapters.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 16 - Words: 97,458 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 4/11/2012 - Published: 8/31/2011 - Alice, Bella - Complete
Lost Then Found by Lipsmacked reviews
Femslash. BellaxAlice. After a fishing accident, Bella is washed ashore the island of Themyscira. She does it like a million times with Alice.
Crossover - Twilight & Wonder Woman - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 53,570 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 88 - Published: 3/10/2012 - Bella
Underneath Heavenly Wings by MyTwiDreams reviews
Being in love with a girl wasn't uncommon for me, but falling for the woman who was supposed to adopt my baby was totally off limits. I needed to get my emotions under control; if only she wouldn't keep looking at me like that all the time.../Bellice, AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 52,578 - Reviews: 325 - Favs: 215 - Follows: 179 - Updated: 1/8/2012 - Published: 8/29/2011 - Bella, Alice - Complete
St Andrew's Place by Lipsmacked reviews
Bella moves to Los Angeles to start a new life with Rose, Alice and Leah. Friends becomes lovers and all that good stuff. Femslash. BxLxRxA eventually BxL
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 94,494 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 264 - Follows: 65 - Published: 12/18/2011 - Bella, Leah - Complete
Mother's Comfort by BlueLion20 reviews
Esme watches Bella one night. Esme and Bella bonding. The second chapter is up. Esme's POV now.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,218 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 6/19/2011 - Published: 5/13/2010 - Esme, Bella - Complete
The Stolen Child by misscanteloupe reviews
There's a fine line between reality and imagination. You just have to dig deep enough to find it. Oneshot, Alice/Bella
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,333 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 16 - Published: 6/3/2011 - Alice, Bella - Complete
Trapped by Carmelle Christos reviews
She held me in her strong, loving arms. I whimpered suddenly, knowing I didn't deserve to be here. She deserved better than me."Shh. I'm here, Ali. I'm not going anywhere" she said, holding me forever tighter to her. I never wanted to let go. Rated M.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 48,237 - Reviews: 529 - Favs: 520 - Follows: 334 - Updated: 4/25/2011 - Published: 8/2/2010 - Alice, Bella - Complete
A Second Midnight Bond by WolfDragonGod reviews
Just a small story between Alice and Bella. Werewolf/Vampire with a futa twist. Lemon alert.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,513 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 252 - Follows: 68 - Published: 12/5/2010 - Alice, Bella - Complete
Can You Be a Good Girl Alice by WolfDragonGod reviews
Bella and Alice have some alone time while Charlie is away fishing with Billy, the wolf pack are off doing their thing and Alice's family is off on a hunt for food. So what shall the two of them do to pass time, why they will play card games or more...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,941 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 150 - Follows: 43 - Published: 11/25/2010 - Alice, Bella - Complete
Lets Get Lost by WolfDragonGod reviews
A Short Alice and Bella one short, Futa warnings, you no like you no read. Lemon warnings. Also Alice is a vamp and bella is a ? can you guess.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,117 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 34 - Published: 7/1/2010 - Alice, Bella - Complete
Smell Sex and Candy by WolfDragonGod reviews
A Au Story of Bella as a hybrid between wolf and vampire, and Alice the vampire. How the meet and what takes place.Au because Bella grew up in the 1800's.Futa warning and Lemon alert as well.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,247 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 42 - Published: 12/23/2009 - Alice, Bella - Complete
In The Blood or Heart by WolfDragonGod reviews
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Based on a story i read its called In My Blood by Isfelvic on ff . net. Lemon Alert. Futa warning. ALice/Bella Vamp/Wolf .
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,908 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 259 - Follows: 74 - Published: 11/23/2009 - Alice, Bella - Complete
Alice is prefect to Bella by WolfDragonGod reviews
Just a short one shot of Alice and Bella doing some things. Bella thinks about Alice and how she looks at her. Lemon alert all little kids please back away.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 563 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 16 - Published: 8/10/2009 - Alice, Bella - Complete
Bella gets hot with a butch lesbian at college by Helen-Marie reviews
A steamy tale of girl-girl love. contains graphic erotic scenes
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,177 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 48 - Published: 5/20/2009 - Bella