Caporal
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Joined 07-22-02, id: 239028, Profile Updated: 12-17-14
Author has written 17 stories for Fanfiction Poetry, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Silmarillion, Book X-overs, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, and Good Omens.

Who: C.
What:What else but a teenaged female with far too much time on her hands? Also, an unregenerate slasher and fairweather member of the Harry Potter fandom
When: 2005. As for when do I write: whenever I have time, which is rarely.
Where: My homeland is Canada: land of the poutine, permafrost, and patriotic beer commercials.
Why: Because I can.
How: An arcane device known as the Internet.

On my own insani-er- work:
I have dwelt long in the Harry Potter fandom, and there sought out the delights of slash. This account was supposed to be limited to Tolkien fic, but as I'm losing all hope of ever returning to that fandom full-time, and have enough other fic for it, I've been putting everything up here just to keep track of it.
I don't write for all the fandoms I'm interested in. However, I'm passionately fond of improbable crossovers, so you may be seeing a bit of that on the rare occasions when I do get the time to write.

On my obsessions:
I love The Silmarillion, slash, The Hobbit, and the Lord of the Rings. In that order. I am a fangirl for emo Elves, French Revolutionaries, interstellar con men, angels (Fallen and otherwise), tipsy pirates, Horsepersons of the Apocalypse, pureblooded wizards, psychotic secret agents and all beings snarksexual, who has reasonably successfully overcome the rabies.

Other Favorites:
Most Shakespeare, Anne Rice, Arthur Rimbaud, Dante Alligheri, John Donne, avocados, history, dance, glitter, and cats.

Obligatory Random Quote:
"Dammit. Rule One. Never ask a Fëanorian how his day is going. You don't want to know."
Thranduil, upon getting himself into a conversation with Maedhros.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Hador by fanged geranium reviews
Fingon wants to know why Fingolfin has taken Dorlómin away from him and given it to Hador instead. Complete.
Silmarillion - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,126 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 11/8/2005 - Published: 10/21/2005 - Complete
Wanderer by jilian baade reviews
A woman meets our favorite wandering elf on a beach A silmarillion based fic. Features Maglor.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 32 - Words: 70,180 - Reviews: 225 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 4/26/2004 - Published: 2/22/2002
A Boy, A Girl, & A Dog: The Leithian Script by Philosopher At Large reviews
The Deed of Beren & Luthien (& Huan) retold in the vernacular w/apologies to Messrs Shakespeare & Tolkien. 8/10Act IV.V.xx
Silmarillion - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 560,494 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 8/11/2003 - Published: 5/6/2002
Possibilities by Cirdan reviews
Birthday present for Le Chat Noir. Choose your own adventure in the First Age of Middle-earth. AU by the nature of the fic. (Note: Incomplete, Go to Chapter x means x hasn't been written yet. Sorry.)
Silmarillion - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 40 - Words: 37,876 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/1/2003 - Published: 5/27/2003
The Fabric of Spacetime by alena reviews
NámoVairë fluff. Warning: contains purple prose, weird physics and mathematical terms.
Silmarillion - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,368 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 18 - Published: 5/17/2003 - Complete
Captain Tinkerbell by lipstick reviews
A response to the Maglor throughout history debate in Silmfic's disscussion group. Maglor is in World War One and yes he does get to meet his creator.
Silmarillion - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,376 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/26/2003
A Study in Human Weakness by Sethos reviews
An attempt to write the "Maglor throughout History" plot bunny: On the road in Siberia, Maglor gets annoyed by an obnoxious and infamous character from twentieth-century history; still, the ancient elf is made to think...
Silmarillion - Rated: K+ - English - Spiritual/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,142 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 14 - Published: 3/23/2003
Under the Curse by Finch reviews
Silmarillion-based. The love of Maedhros and Fingon. Warning: homosexuality. Chapter 11 and last. Maedhros meets the Judge.
Silmarillion - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 34,860 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 2/27/2003 - Published: 4/2/2002
A Little Nudge Out of the Door by Jocelyn reviews
Legolas's adventures as he comes of age as a warrior and learns life lessons: family bonds can endure anything, men are odd, dwarves are sometimes friendly, and true friendship is immortal. Complete.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 263,404 - Reviews: 1159 - Favs: 715 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 12/24/2002 - Published: 2/14/2002 - Legolas, Gandalf - Complete
The Eight Companions: A battle for an Elf's sanity by Ellipsis reviews
Legolas and 7 companions: Tuor, Elrond's sons, Elves of Nargothrond, & a Balrog-slayer - go on a quest against the Feanorians at the social event of Valinor for the ultimate prize: an escape from bad fanfic. Ch 3.Plans, fangirls & the fate of a disco ball
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 14,308 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 17 - Updated: 12/19/2002 - Published: 11/19/2002 - Legolas
Choices by Nerwende Artanis reviews
At what point do our dreams become obsessions? AU short stories featuring Galadriel, Maedhros, and Fëanor
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,627 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 12/1/2002 - Published: 7/23/2002 - Galadriel
Saruman's Revenge by SkyFire2 reviews
Like the title says. Saruman gets a bit of revenge for events in TTT. NOT nasty; this is a humor-fic! *g* To say more would give away the story! Main characters: Elrond, Glorfindel, Elladan, Elrohir. FINISHED! Please R/R.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 24,631 - Reviews: 252 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/28/2002 - Published: 4/26/2002 - Elrond - Complete
End of Ages by Ripper reviews
Elvish orgies! Rogue hobbits! Bloody big swords! As the Fourth Age goes all to buggery, a desperate plea for help is sent. What they need is a strong, wise, noble leader of men who could fairly be described as charisma on legs. What they got was Randall.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,341 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 10/15/2002 - Published: 2/1/2002
Lalaith mi Emmyn by Amarth Obstreperous reviews
This is the tale of Hini, the not-so-very-special Maia who created the hobbits. Rating has been changed to PG-13 due to violence and depression. Read and review!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 21,943 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 9/25/2002 - Published: 8/6/2002
Blood And Warm Blankets by Kielle reviews
Eomer and Faramir are trapped in a nefarious web of (*gasp*) slash cliches! Light metahumor.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,020 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/14/2002 - Faramir
Real Men Wear Jewelry by Mouse reviews
Sequel to "If Women Had Ruled Middle-Earth" -- The boys trade opinions on wine, women, and song while pumping iron in Mandos' weight room. [Warning: Extreme Mockery. Silmarillion knowledge required!]
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,700 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/27/2002
The Story of Legolas and Enóreth by CNell reviews
A follow-up to The Fanfic Lounge. Can Legolas get through this twisted fairy tale without losing his sanity? Please R&R. Heck yeah she's a Mary Sue. Flame me. I dare ya.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 24,516 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/18/2002 - Published: 8/11/2002 - Legolas
Fellowship of the Thousands by Aralanthiriel reviews
As far as we know, the Quest to destroy the Ring only took place once. So, how on earth did all the extra Fellowship members fit in? Boromir's POV.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,511 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 18 - Updated: 8/17/2002 - Published: 6/27/2002 - Boromir, Legolas
Stars of Heaven's Dome by Cirdan reviews
At the end of the Second Age, Elrond meets this long lost uncles, Elured and Elurin. They accompany him to see Oropher of Greenwood then decide to join in the War against Sauron.
Silmarillion - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,523 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/15/2002 - Published: 7/21/2002
Down Like Rain by Anais Lacquestar reviews
The story of Melkor Morgoth and Luthien Tinuviel
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,388 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 7 - Published: 8/13/2002 - Sauron
The Manuscript by Finch reviews
Elrond is upset when he reads an ancient manuscript. Glorfindel tries to find out why. Implied slash and naughtiness.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,639 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/10/2002
The Official Fanfiction University of Middleearth by misscam reviews
The fic that spawned miniBalrogs, Elrond's Naturally Nine, the MorgothSauron feud, Urple, the WitchWall and finally, Gimli got the girl.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 64 - Words: 66,366 - Reviews: 3102 - Favs: 1,863 - Follows: 173 - Updated: 7/12/2002 - Published: 3/8/2002 - Complete
The Branch and the Yew Tree by WatcherChild reviews
Please R/R!!! Fëanor leaves the Halls of Mandos at the bidding of his mother, and he has a long talk with Ingwë. Is he ready to face those whom he has hurt?
Silmarillion - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,489 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/2/2002 - Published: 5/31/2002
Comes the Dawn by Ithilwen of Himring reviews
Part 10 of the Maedhros series. Maedhros enters the Halls of Mandos, and his final fate is revealed. Silmarillion-based.
Silmarillion - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,903 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 9 - Updated: 5/31/2002 - Published: 5/24/2002
One Morning by SkyFire2 reviews
The plotbunnies made me do it! ; A PWP that takes place in Rivendell. Main characters: Elrond, Glorfindel. *Nothing* is what it seems....
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 598 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/27/2002 - Elrond - Complete
Imprisonment of the Mind by Nemis reviews
A conversation in the Halls of Mandos... Because I always wondered what my favourite Elfie would do once he got there... Gil-galad meets someone we all know is still in Mandos...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 852 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 4 - Published: 5/24/2002
UCMEC goes Last Alliance by members of UCMEC reviews
Chapter TEN! AU The camp awakes and the members of UCMEC realise they have a lot of work to do... A poignant example of how crazy we can get...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 11 - Words: 40,577 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 5/23/2002 - Published: 4/22/2002 - Elrond
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

A Rarer Gift reviews
A very young Celegorm isn't having the best begetting day. A chance, or possibly not so chance, meeting with his favourite Vala changes all that. Rated G for being completely tame.
Silmarillion - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,536 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/6/2006 - Complete
Elves Do Skate reviews
In which Amras has some exciting news concerning his elder brother. Implied slash, excessive fluff.
Silmarillion - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 405 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/20/2005 - Complete
What Dreams
A dream can comfort, but only while it lasts. Discontent, Maedhros dreams. Post Silmarillion, Maedhros and Irmo, slash, deserves the R rating.
Silmarillion - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,299 - Published: 10/17/2005
Finding Time reviews
In 1936, Pestilence retired, muttering about penicillin. This is what happened next. A chronicle of the twentieth century antics of the Horsepersons of the Apocalypse. Look out: there's a sweeping romance between DEATH and Pestilence ahead.
Good Omens - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,116 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/26/2005
Visions of Sugarplums reviews
In which yet another of Agent Sands' many hidden talents is revealed. Involves mild slash, excessive silliness and extreme meta.
Once Upon a Time in Mexico - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 733 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12/21/2004
Many Meetings: A Tale of Improbable Coincidence reviews
A mad crossover involving elves, wizards, angels (fallen and otherwise), and children who never grow up. Warnings for slash, swearing, and impossibility: If you no likey you no readey. Savvy?
Book X-overs - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,302 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/3/2004
Andromeda reviews
Memories of Andromeda. The challenge said: 'Write a masturbation ficlet about your character of choice.' So I did.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 251 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4/7/2004 - Complete
Kilmessë reviews
The torments of Maedhros upon Thangorodrim. Not exactly poetry, but thought-process. Written nearly two years ago, it has now been fixed up and presented to the general public. You like?
Silmarillion - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 583 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 10/25/2003
Fluffy Tom reviews
A romantic interlude in the lives of two seventh-years. Includes footsie, Slytherin socks, and groan-worthy irony. Slash, (TR/AM)
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 979 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 8/17/2003
Teen Angst That Isn't reviews
A first try at setting Draco and Zach at each other's throats. Involves melodramatic!Draco, sarcastic!Zacharias, apathetic!Harry, and an extended flashback. PG-13 for slash, violence, and melodrama. (D/H, random subtext)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,276 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/16/2003
Beautiful Vanity reviews
A Bella/Cissa drabble. Narcissa reflects on the relationship between herself and her sister. Warning: Incest and femmeslash
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 399 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 8/16/2003 - Complete
Fluffy Draco reviews
When Draco Malfoy wakes up in a strange and terrible mental state, it is up to Blaise Zabini to enlist the aid of Harry Potter to try and get to the bottom of his condition. Warning: H/D slash and fluffiness.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,020 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/16/2003 - Harry P., Draco M.
Of The End Of Days reviews
The plotbunnies came back! This is in response to Casey's Dagor Dagorath challenge. Please read and review this seriously underreviewed author
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,076 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 4 - Published: 8/24/2002
T.S.Elliot Goes Middle-Earth! reviews
A parody of T.S.Elliot's greatest poem. Please, please, please read and reveiw?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 637 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 8/13/2002
King Of The Northlands reviews
The Fellowship had many adventures on their journey. Here is the story of one such exploit. Strictly within canon, I hope. Please read and review, I want to know what you think of it.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,819 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 8/9/2002
An Oath Forever Binding reviews
Yet another poem by me, although the others are in different categories. A peice about the Oath of Fëanor.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 266 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 8/9/2002
Locked Out reviews
A poem that describes the longing to be a part of a world that is not yours and never can be.
Fanfiction Poetry - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 174 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 8/9/2002