Author has written 5 stories for Harry Potter, Black Books, and Mighty Boosh.
i don't really use this account anymore and i haven't for like 3 years but i might come back to it one day, so.
i've kept a load of random quotes even though i'm not into all of this stuff anymore.
"People say I'm the Beatle who changed the most, but to me, that's what life's about." George.
"I now realise that taking drugs is like taking an aspirin without a headache." Paul.
"You're all geniuses, and you're all beautiful. You don't need anyone to tell you who you are. You are what you are. Get out there and get peace, think peace, and live and breathe peace, and you'll get it as soon as you like." John.
"I am alive and well and unconcerned about the rumours of my death. But if I were dead, I would be the last to know." Paul (1969)
"I'm a tidy sort of bloke. I don't like chaos. I kept records in the record rack, tea in the tea caddy, and pot in the pot box." George. (this is why he's my favourite!)
"The things is, we're all really the same person. We're just four parts of the one." Paul.
"When I was about twelve, I used to think I must be a genius, but nobody's noticed. If there is such a thing as a genius...I am one, and if there isn't, I don't care." John.
(just as a side note i don't actually like john lennon, he was abusive and racist and homophobic and all kinds of shit)
'You can only be so thick-skinned. You can only pretend not to care for so long before you have to admit that you hate being made to look like an idiot. I hate seeing myself misquoted. I hate being linked romantically with girls I’ve been close to for years but never slept with. It’s just upsetting, isn’t it? My nan reads and believes these things. I say, “Hiya Nan, how are you getting on?” and she’ll say, “Are you all right? What about that cat you injected with crack?”’
Broken glass. It's just like glitter, isn't it?
It's that mysterious thing called hype. I've looked under every rock, and I couldn't find out what it means. Certain people hear a certain melody, and they're attracted to it. I'm in love with that feeling. We're looking for fun and adventure and a bit of redemption and somewhere to live. Everything else is a blind venture into the unknown.
“I do maintain that if your hair is wrong, your entire life is wrong.”
"I am capable of looking on the bright side, I just don't do it very often."
"When I'm lying in bed and I think about life and I think about death and neither one particularly appeals to me."
"I'm not very good at being dull."
(On Richard Madeley) "He called me an unsufferable prat, This is a bit rich coming from a man who actually married his own mother."
“Nothing is important, so people, realising that, should get on with their lives, go mad, take their clothes off, jump in the canal, jump into one of those supermarket trolleys, race around the supermarket and steal Mars bars and kiss kittens.”
(okay so morrissey is kind of boring a lot of the time but he's p. funny and his lyrics are perf so)
Bar lady: I like your dress...
Vince Noir: [grabbing book] Look at this one!
I might transform myself into a mighty hawk. Either that or work in Dixons - I haven't decided-Naboo
Naboo: I've got a crystal ball but what's in it for me?
Don't go eating 15 [hash cakes] all at once, because you WILL see the devil, and he'll try to rip your heart out through your kneecaps
Quote of the year:(2011)
Miles: He (Alex) turned up one day in red jeans. That surprised me. I like it when he wears red jeans. When they're tight.
Interview... (I don't know if this is real, I hope it is :D )
Jo: You two are getting on quite alright, then. Are you loving what you're doing at the moment?
Alex: Oh yeah, we're having a ball, Jo.
Miles: If only you could see what was going on now, Jo.
Jo: Is there a lot of stroking going on?
Alex: More than that.
Miles: Get off! Ah, get off me knee!
Jo: Knee, was that?
Miles: Yeah, he's just... he's working his way up.
Things to do on an Elevator:
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
Chalcedony Rivers (30)
Dulcea Viata (9)
Hasty Hastings (20)
Lady Bracknell (61)
Ophelia Havisham (8)
Superman Skank (22)
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