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Joined 06-10-10, id: 2398474, Profile Updated: 05-11-12
Author has written 4 stories for Lord of the Rings.

Hello everybody! I'm probably figured that out already though.

I'm also on, under the name of ravensfyre, with absolutely no stories at all!!! ;p

I'm also on, under the name of LadyFrostFyre. I've got 3 somewhat-okay stories, and 2 quizzes. No funny stories, though. *sad face*

So my name is Sharon, and I'm currently in middle school. I live in Massachusetts, but I'm not saying the city/town - nice try, you stinky stalkers. And I'm no pro think you get where I'm heading. Oh, and I'm AWFULLY clumsy. Don't trust me with anything fragile. You got your warning. XP

Random Facts About ME!!

Likes: Piano, fantasy, humor, writing, drawing/doodling, reading, playing volleyball, getting good grades, wolves, snakes, spiders, penguins, cheetahs, komodo dragons, music, ice cream sandwiches, kiwi, smoothies, frosting, hanging out with friends, playing the game "Plants vs. Zombies", and more.

Dislikes: When people don't listen, foreign language (because I suck at it), when I get bad grades, two-faced people, bullies, snobby girls, inconsiderate people, and more.

DISLIKES WHEN IT COMES TO FANFICTION: I'm referencing to "a few" LoTR love stories that I've read in the past, and I have also written stories on different websites concerning romance in LoTR...when there is an author who must be about five years old due to the major spelling, grammar, and writing skills he/she has and writes a romance about the same guy you write about, gets more views and more comments than you do. It's actually pretty infuriating, because you would know that you worked harder than this author because your writing shows more effort and still they have double the amount of fans...I'm not trying to sound like a discontented, demanding author but seriously? Plus, the stories aren't realistic, the characters are Mary-Sues, and the plots have no point.

Real Life Crazy Friends That Are So Very Dear To Me On FFN: dramaqueenXD12, bunnylikeschorus1015, Scribbler-Chan and soggywaffles321. Love ya all. :D

Fave Movies/TV Shows/Anime/Books: The Chronicles of Narnia, Coraline, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Despicable Me, Pirates of the Carribean, Megamind / BBC Merlin / Fruits Basket, Naruto, Code Geass, Gundam, Full Metal Alchemist, Ao No Exorcist, Death Note / Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, Reckless, The Lord of the Rings, The Chronicles of Narnia, Coraline, The Crystal Cave, His Dark Materials, The Inheritance Cycle, Firmament, Pendragon, The Land of Elyon, The Garden of Eve, Guardians of the Ga'Hoole, Animorphs, and more...I wrinkle my nose at the Twilight Saga. No offense to all Twihards.

Fave Music: I really love country, pop, rock, and beautiful soundtracks from movies. I like a whole bunch of artists, including Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood, The Band Perry, Kelly Clarkson, Brad Paisley, Adele, Avril Lavinge, One Direction, Owl City, Lady Antebellum, Saosin, Nickelback, The Fray, We The Kings, and about others that I can't really write down or else you'd face a list that never stops. XD

And I don't usually cry at sad things, unless it's funerals or something that really strikes me. It's pretty rare. But movies, like Bambi and Titanic? Sorry, no. It's sad, Stories? Course not! But there was ONE story...ONE story that just KILLED me. Check it out. (And I'm not a fan of One Direction or anything, but it's just...don't judge. Just read) Take out the spaces:

http: // irememberyou-raggedyman. tumblr. com/ post/ 18146501402/ listen-to-the-song-and-read-if-you-have-any

Alright, I’ll admit it. I’ve been tracking down the infamous Tara Gilesbie, author of “My Immortal” ever since I discovered them because I was just bored. I’ve actually found some of her accounts and stories.

Here they are: beckymac666, XXXmidnitegoffXXX, XXXbloodyrists666XXX. All of them are Tara, and I'll list more once I find more. Yeah, she’s back. She has some sort of scary hunger for Edward Cullen and Twilight…you know what? I'm feeling genuinely bad for Robert Pattinson (actor who plays Edward Cullen) and Tom Felton (actor who plays Draco Malfoy). I feel really bad for them. If they ever found out these particular, I wanna see that.

But still - be scared. Be VERY scared.

And could this be person who wants to impersonate Tara and defile the wonderful stories of Lord of the Rings? xXxninjagirl123xXx - check out her stories...*cringe*

Sweet girls come from the south. Barbie's come from CA. But us Northern girls have fire and ice in our blood.We can drive in the snow,handle the cold, beat the heat, be a princess, throw a right hook and drink with the boys. We can cook a wicked good meal and if we have an bet your sweet ass you're going to hear it.


Stories may be delayed or put off to the side, only because of school or life events. Otherwise, I'll be either planning, writing, editing, researching, or updating.

That's A Promise - COMPLETED!!! - Bill the Pony's been mistreated all his life. But as he is bought and sold for the Fellowship, he develops strong friendships with different people he's been with all his life, but is left behind. Will he ever find his way home and be happy with friends? K

Beyond Those Dark Eyes - COMPLETED!!! - Arod has known nothing but war. But his master dies, and later Eomer hands him over to someone else, in this case, Legolas. But Arod hates him, and he wants his old one back. And will Arod ever learn the difference between a friend and an enemy? K

No Escape - COMPLETED!!! - Fay is a valued servant of Sauron. Then she becomes the 10th Ringwraith, for the 10th Fellowship member, a Mary-Sue. Yet Fay never ventured out of Mordor, and is horrified by what Sauron has done. Will she help the Free Peoples, or side with her homeland? T

Pigs Do Fly - Work In Progress - What if LoTR characters shows up at your house? Wormtongue likes bubble baths? Aragorn favors peanut butter? Shelob likes cooking? Fluffykins the fell beast? Uncle Pig Fiddledrat LXXVII the spider? It's much more than Dra can take on her 25th birthday... T

Stories For Future:

None at the moment.

Removed Work:

I do have removed work, merely because I've lost total interest in the stories. My apologies if you found out that a story you favored that you read a few months or a few weeks ago has been removed. :'( But hey, I might gain interest back in them, and hopefully rewrite them. There's a bright side to everything.

Stories On Hold: (if any, which is like, not yet)

I know that none of my stories are on hold (YET) but if they are, here's a completely fair warning for ya: I can guarantee you readers that I will in some way or shape do something about it. First, I won't abandon it, of course, because it completely ticks me off when other authors do so intentionally or un-intentionally, especially when it's a beautifully written story about a great novel. May it be continuing it and posting new chapters, updating it, fixing errors, whatever. I will try my best not to leave it because like I said, it annoys me whenever others do it and so I won't do that to you. Common courtesy, responsibility and respect to the FFN community, right? If I do so, I'll never stop thinking about it until I rip my hair out and scream to the world and trust me - I will.

Cool Stuff:

If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! Paste this to your profile if you can read this!

When you were 5, your mom gave you a ice cream cone. You thank her by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind.
When you were 9, your mom drove you from swimming class to soccer and one birthday party to another. You thanked her by slamming the door and never looking back.
When you were 10, your mom payed for piano classes. You thanked her by never coming to class.
When you were 12, your mom was waiting for a very important call. You thanked her by talking on the phone all night.
When you were 14, your mom payed for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by not bothering to write a single letter.
When you were 16, your mom taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you got.
When you were 17, your mom drove you to the mall and gave you her credit card. You thanked her by maxing it out.
When you were 18, your mom cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by partying until dawn.
When you were 20, your mom drove you to collage. You thanked her by saying good-bye to her outside the dorm so you wouldn't have to say bye in front of your friends.
When you were 26, your mom payed for your wedding. You thanked her by moving halfway across the world.
When you were 30, your mom fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents became to children.
Then, one day, she quietly died and everything you did came crashing down on you.
If YOU love your mom, re-post this and if you don't, you won't care if your mom dies, will you?

A white man said "No coloured people allowed here." And the black man said. "When I was born I was black, when I grew up I was black, when I am sick I am black, when I go out in the sun I am black, when I am cold I am black, when I die I'll be black, but you, you. When you were born you were pink, when you grew up you were white, when you are sick you are green, when you go out in the sun you turn red, when you are cold you are blue, and when you die you'll be purple and you dare to call me coloured?" The black man sat down and the white man walked away. If you're against racism copy and paste this into your profile.

"A lot of p e o p l e think they know what a book is. But in reality not that many do. You see a book is not something you do when you're b o r e d; it's not something you were forced to read for a stupid school report. No, a book is something more than that. A b o o k is something that can make you cry for hours for someone who's not even real (no matter how much you want them to be). It's s o m e t h i n g that can make you laugh on your glummest day, at something that's not even relatively funny. It's something you s c r e a m at when something goes wrong and the idiot in the book won't listen to you (no matter how hard you scream). It's something that you get so l o s t in that you forget the date and where you are for a second. A book is something that's so addicting that even when you say, "This is the l a s t page, and then I'll put it down," you turn the page anyway. It's your best friend through thick and thin, weather you're black or white, fat or s k i n n y, young or old. A book is just that- a book; it's just that some p e o p l e don't know what a book is, even though you've known your whole life." by xXIceshadowXx. If you agree with this and know what a book is copy and paste this on your profile. (xXIceshadowXx owns all rights to this quotexX)

I am the girl that people look through when I say something.
I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.
I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face.
I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone.
I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. (littledragoneyes speaking here - I am the girl that has never been asked out before - who cares?)
I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.
BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.
Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, secilmis yazar, Holly Marie Fowl, Liris, Meihua68, Jinmay-4-ever, Miss Ginny Weasley, SmartGirlD, JacobBlack'RAWR, Clumzylil'Pixiegrl10908, Glitterb1234, bananafreak97, UnderworldChick, Aduial Rana, littledragoneyes

99 percent of FanFiction authors copy and paste stuff on their profile. If you're part of the 99 percent, copy and paste this on your profile

put this on your page
if you love to laugh

(='.'=) This is Bunny. Put him on your
(")_(")profile and help him on his
way to world domination.

The Stupidest Things On Products

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (You might've said that before I did that?)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (Really? Wow!)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope!)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Ooh! I didn't know peanuts also included nuts!)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no, we get real fake bacon.)

On a Myer hairdryer:"Do not use while sleeping."(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."(Wow. That's really helpful.)

On a child's superman costume:"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". (Dang! That's the whole purpose of buying the costume!)

On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals". (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions:"Put on fork and eat."(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?! OMG! Why didn't you tell me before?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how??)

On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's just a suggestion).

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (Hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a bag of Fritos:You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (GASP! The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be how?)

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop with your hands.

No, spellcheck, that's my name, not a misspelling...

Trying not to cough when you're in a room full of silent people

I fell in a hole and didn't find Wonderland, I climbed up a hill and didn't find Camp Half-Blood, Narnia's not in my closet, and I can't get to Diagon Alley by throwing sand in my fireplace...I MEAN COME ON PEOPLE LIKE WHAT THE HECK?

-SNEEZE- "Bless you." -SNEEZE- "Bless you." -SNEEZE- "DUDE?!?!?!?!?!"

I forgot your name, so I'm waiting for somebody to say it...

-Calls name- "Yes, Mom..." -no answer- "YES!" -no answer- Screw that, I'm not getting up...

I hate when you have a perfect day, but then one thing ruins it all

Acting like you can't hear someone when you have headphones on

Thank you music, for being there when no one else was...

Hersheys, Jolly Ranchers, and every other candy you can think of

I studied it like, 3 minutes ago, how did I forget the answer?

Actually, you're wrong. The bell DOES dismiss us. Sorry.

I actually text "uhhhhh..." or "hmmm..." when I'm thinking of something to say

I hate when you wake up when the best part of the dream is about to happen!

The one person you see EVERYWHERE...but don't know their name

Medicine heals the body. Music heals the soul.

Ooooooooh, That sounds a bit harsh, I better put "lol" on the end of it

Whenever I see someone check the time, I check too

"Must be 3-7 sentences" Yeah, I'm only writing 3...

Whenever I can't find something, it just magically appears when my mom looks

Doing something weird, then noticing someone watching you

"Can I cut you?" -- "No, but you can back cut me."

Every year, I realize how stupid I was the year before

If you could read my mind, you would need therapy.

WOW! Did you see the size of them muffins on New Moon? they were HUGE! I want one!

"YES, WE'RE FINALLY LEAVING!"--"Oh no, Mom ran into a friend..."

"Haha, that was funny... -friend says something-...You killed it."

I bought a bag of chips, not half a bag of air!

They say HATE is a strong word, but they throw around LOVE like it's nothing

When you make NO sense at all, but your best friend completely understands

A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feeling...

If the sour patch dude cut off my hair, I would throw him across the room

Why do we have to be quiet during a fire drill? Will the fire hear us?

"PUT THE PHONE AWAY!" Chill, it's a phone, not a gun...

The instant heart attack you get when you slip, but don't fall over

Me and my friend laugh, stop, stare at each other, then laugh again!!

I hate that feeling when I get so aggravated, I feel like crying

Of course I flinched! You almost punched me in the face!!

Oh great, now that song's stuck in my head and I only know one line...

Struggling so hard to open something, then spotting the "tear here" sign

Turning the music up so loud in your headphones, your in another world

Wait, are you talking to me? I just blanked out.


I hate waking up during a good dream and it won't come back!


Back in 1st grade where putting your head down was a punishment

Yes, I am aware we look stupid, but at least we're having fun...unlike you.

When you drink water with mint gum in your mouth and it seems colder :)

Getting comfortable on the couch, then seeing the remote is on the other side

Putting on a fake smile, so you don't have to explain why your unhappy

I Hate when My Best Friend Isn't at School

Why is Monday so far from Friday, but Friday so close to Monday?!

Forgetting what you were going to do a second ago

When someone says "Guess what?", I never guess, I just say "What?"

"The dude with the dreads and the Northface." -- "You just described half the school."

Mon ]; - Tues :(- Wed :/ Thurs :) Fri :D Sat (. )\m/ - Sun (-_-)

Saying "Nobody saw that." when you do something stupid

"Oh my you've grown." Well, yes...that tends to happen...

DUDE! We got the exact same answers, how did you get a higher grade?

It's funny how fast you wake up when you realize you've overslept

"Sub: "Does your normal teacher let you do this?" Students: "Yes..."

Your parents are nice." "You should see them when you're not here..."

Reading something over and over again and not being able to process it

Reading texts half asleep...and it's like looking into the sun

Moving slowly at night hoping your parents don't hear you...

After every good movie trailer I lean over and say "I wanna see that."

"Just go ask!!" "Okay, can you come with me??"


"Is there gonna be food?" "Yeah.." "Okay, then I'm coming..

That plan worked sooooooo much better in my head

"GET UP." "I AM UP." -goes back to sleep-

I hate when you zone out and accidentally stare at someone

Re-discovering music you used to love

The feeling you get when the bell rings on the last day of school

Not remembering whether it happened in a dream or real life

"Can I see your phone?" "...Hang on." -deletes messages-

Taking a test and thinking "A,D,C,B,C,C,C,C...That CAN'T be right."

1st day of school: I'm so excited! 1 week later: When are the holidays?

I hate when your super excited about something and everything goes wrong

If the schools on fire, I'm running, not walking. Just so you know

"-Text sending- NOO WRONG PERSON, CANCEL!! Too late :(

Thinking someone's ignoring you...then you realize you forgot to write back

When a teacher calls on you thinking you weren't listening and you OWN them

When a teacher disses a student and the class goes "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

The feeling you get when you wake up on the first day of summer

I use my phone as a flashlight and hit random buttons to keep it lit

"Hey, did you do the homework?" "WAIT, WE HAD HOMEWORK?!"

Your in a good mood, one little thing happens, and BAM...bad mood


When my teacher says "Study.", I say "NO HOMEWORK!!"

"Is there something you would like to share with the class?" No, that's why I'm whispering...

"Did you read?" "No. You?" "No." "Please clear your desks..." WE'RE SCREWED

I stare off into space and realize I'm staring at some random person...awkward...

5% battery left and you run like a ninja to get your charger!

Telling inanimate objects to STAY when they look like their gonna fall

It FEELS like 20 minutes have gone by in class. It's ONLY been 2.

When you walk in late and everyone stares at you

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." "You welcome, Lieutenant Sarcasm"

When I'm the only one awake at night and I hear a noise...I completely freeze

I Wish I Could Record My Dreams And Watch Them Later

If there's a fire at school, who's actually gonna stay quiet and walk? (we ALL agree on this...)

I Love The Kid That Makes The Classroom Fun By Arguing With The Teacher

Mom/Dad were in public...don't...don't do that...

I Wish Some Of My Dreams Were Real

It Takes Skill to Trip Over Flat Surfaces

I didn't fall, I attacked the floor...

"Go to your room." "Oh, you mean the place with my Laptop, iPod, Cell, and T.V? Okay."

Okay, so I kinda, sorta, MAYBE like you more than I originally planned

If that one little thing had/hadn't happened, things would be so different now

Hey, headphone, wanna NOT fall outta my ear?

"Sit down, class isn't over yet!" -bell rings- Haha, screw you

"Mom, I don't need a jacket." "Holy crap it's cold out."

Hate when I get in trouble and my parents tell the ENTIRE FAMILY!!

"We're watching a video today." YES!! "Here's your answer sheet." UGH.

I love when I find money I forgot about!!

"Can I copy your homework?" "Yeah, but I don't know if they're right." "I don't care."

That 1 song in your iPod that plays real loud and scares the crap out of you

I always wonder what your thinking when you stare at me...

Teachers call it "the bathroom", we call it "I'm bored, I'm leaving."

I wish my friends houses were connected to mine via secret tunnel

WHERE IS MY...oh, never mind, it's in my hand

Please don't pick me, please don't pick me, please don't pick...aww crap

Thinking Of Everything You've Done When Your Parents Say "Come Here Now!"

Paper beats rock? Okay, I'll throw a rock at you and you'll defend yourself with paper

"Hey can I have a sip?" "Sure." -GLUG GLUG GLUG- "Dude, what the heck?""

Anyone notice that "studying" is like "student" and "dying" put together?

I remember when everyone wanted to be the line leader in kindergarten

Randomly smiling when you think of a funny memory

"So what do you wanna do?" "I dunno, what do you wanna do?" "I dunno, what do you wanna do?" "Dude, we've turned into Spongebob and Patrick."

I wish I could just click the "Back" button in real life...sometimes

"Close the door!" -leaves door cracked- "OMG, ALL THE WAY!!"

I don't know, google it

We Act Like It's A Secret Drug Deal when Someone's Just Giving Us Gum

"What would happen if there was no music?" "Dude, we'd all have gone psycho."

I Call Gatorades By Their Color, Not Their Name

I hate when teachers give us work over break, it's called break for a reason

I Love Google, It's Like The Brain I Never Got :)

Password Error -types again- Password Error -types again- Password Error "WHAT THE...oh, caps lock is on."

You give one person gum and everyone within 10 miles is your best friend

"I was blown away when I realized OK looked like a sideways person

Laying in bed at night thinking about EVERYTHING

Oh Google, you always seem to know what I mean to spell...

Why can I do it PERFECTLY until I go show someone?

Never Enough Cookie Dough In Cookie Dough Ice Cream!!

"What if Google didn't exist?" "Man we would all be screwed."

I tell a funny story. No one laughs...IT WAS FUNNY WHEN IT HAPPENED OKAY?!

"Can I ask you something?" "Sure." "Oh, never mind..." NOOO TELLL MEEEE!!!!!


Listening to a certain song over and over again :D

Friday, last period, 2 minutes to go til the bell rings...BEST FEELING EVER!! :)

Walking in a room and forgetting why you entered

Saying "Oh!" like you get it...but you have no idea :)

As soon as the headphones are in, I'm in my own little world...

I love it when I find a song that matches my exact mood :)

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the heck is drinking my freakin’ soda"

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the two percent who haven't, copy and paste this into your profile.(And I'll keep it that way!)

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think randomness rocks, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile


If you've ever bursted out laughing in a silent room over something that happened yesterday, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you would (but you're not allowed too), live in a bookstore so that you would be the first person to get all the new Warriors books, copy and paste this into your profile

If you will never smoke, do drugs, or anything else in that field, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever felt like someone(thing) was watching you and then turned around to find nothing, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think copying and pasting things is fun, paste this into your profile.

Ways to make sure you're insane

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. don't disguise your voice.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy"

Ask your dog if it's comfortable with it's name. Repeat with cat, until people ask if you're alright.

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go"

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme .

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because your not in the mood.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! they're loose!!"

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)

They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

An African-american man was thirsty so he went to get a drink from the fountain. A white man walks up to him.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and said He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man sat down and the white man walked away.

Repost this if you hate racism.

(.• (.•pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer. (both)

-If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

-Raise awareness for global warming! If you think that we need to act quickly to stop global warming, copy and paste this into your profile

-If you think cancer is awful, put this in your profile.

-If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy this.

-93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, Battleground Heart, Kaity the Chameleon, xX-Arianna-hime-Xx,Seppaku, Amanemanga, Rethira, -Purple Smile-, Atra Luminarium, Ginger Guardian Angel, HorseLuvr14, Brandymydog, AquaFreez, Timekeeper Violeteyes, Shiningspirit, Aduial Rana, littledragoneyes

If Fanfiction is your way of escaping reality and the rest of the boring people in the world and truly "unleashing your imagination" then paste this in your profile and add your name: Emerald Princess 14, StardustFromThePlanetGallifrey,Narnia Queen, jjjc, TheseAngelWings, Elf from Downunder, littledragoneyes

From Lord of the Rings...Thranduil is not a tyrant, okay?! I refuse to read stories where he is portrayed as such. He was just being a good king. If you still don't believe me, read The Hobbit again. Tolkien writes that 'if the king had a weakness it was for treasure' not for beating up his subjects. In addition, he succours the Men of the Lake in their need, and Bilbo is willing to die for him. Moreover, do you really think Legolas would have been alright if he had been abused during his childhood? I rest my case! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile, add your name to the list and spread the word. Elindë, Elven Warrior Princess, Gwedhiel0117, littledragoneyes

-If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile

-If you've ever made yourself feel like an idiot, copy and paste this to your profile

-If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

-if you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile.

-if you've ever walked into a wall before copy this into your profile.

-If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

-If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile!

-If you've ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table for no reason copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself copy this into your profile.

-If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

-If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my readymade fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, geez!

What to Do During an Exam

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Screw this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go ice skating.)

15. Show up completely insane (completely insane means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. (I would never do that.)

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Act spazzy

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

34. Fake an heart attack. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. Strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

37. If your answers are on a scan tron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girly-girl nearby.

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your pencil. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

42. Dress like the professor.

43. Cross-Dress.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

P.S. don't actually do this during a test, it would be hilarious, but you do have a permanent record ( if you're still in school, that is).

Mental Hospital Phone Menu:

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital!

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blond, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

this is person cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line :)

Calling me STUPID won't make you SMART,

Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG,

Calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY,

Calling me POOR won't make you RICH,

Calling me FAT won't make you PERFECT,

So why bother?

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever bursted out laughing in a silent room over something that happened yesterday, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you will never smoke, do drugs, or anything else in that field, copy and paste this into your profile

When life gives you lemons...

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!

When life gives you lemons, throw them back at life and say, "Give me chocolate!"

When life gives you lemons, throw them back at life until life falls down.

When life gives you lemons, ask where the lemons came from.

When life gives you lemons, squirt lemon juice at people you don't like. And laugh.

When life gives you lemons, demand to speak with life about their ripeness.

SMILEYS RULE:):)copy and paste this in your profile if you agree. :):):):):):)!

If you hate child abuse then repost this on your profile. If you don't then you have NO SOUL!!

If you don't do drugs ,copy/paste this into your profile

Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile

99.5 percent of all teens would cry if the Jonas brothers were on a 20 story building about to jump. The other 0.5 percent would bring a chair and popcorn. Copy and paste this into your profile if you're one of the 0.5.

Drugs are bad news. Spread the word. Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your profile.

If you actually bothered to read my entire profile, post this on your page. :D

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Teach Me To Live by Daughter of Thranduil reviews
When a battered elfling is brought to Imladris, the twins, Arwen, Haldir and Legolas begin to teach her to trust and smile again. This is her story as she grows up there and can finally face her past.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 56 - Words: 154,160 - Reviews: 751 - Favs: 496 - Follows: 456 - Updated: 2/17 - Published: 6/24/2006 - Legolas, Elrond, Elrohir, Elladan
Sleeping Beauty by silent-niobe reviews
What if Sleeping Beauty was not a woman? What if they were not a man either, but an elf? Follow Alice in her journey to find out the truth behind the myth and the fairytale. Set in modern times. LegolasOC.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 29 - Words: 97,655 - Reviews: 655 - Favs: 595 - Follows: 371 - Updated: 6/28/2015 - Published: 6/11/2007 - Legolas - Complete
Road To Rohan by AlmaGemela reviews
Rem swallowed, a tremble shivering through her limbs. Goosebumps were blossoming across her skin, and deep down she knew it had little to do with the chilly water... Girl falls into Middle Earth with a twist: she hates Legolas and wants to leave
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 148,164 - Reviews: 908 - Favs: 756 - Follows: 827 - Updated: 11/22/2014 - Published: 1/7/2009 - Legolas, OC
BloodRed Rose for Legolas by ElvenDestiny reviews
Sariel is a ruthless assassin sent to kill the prince of Mirkwood in exchange for her family's freedom, yet the shadow of her past blocks her way as she struggles to determine truth from lies and to learn to accept what is truly in her heart.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 300,068 - Reviews: 1346 - Favs: 690 - Follows: 437 - Updated: 7/23/2014 - Published: 3/16/2002 - Legolas - Complete
Jackson, Where's My Paycheck? by theharshlightofday reviews
A hobbit in dire need of health insurance, a bumbling gardener, a senile wizard, a klutzy ranger, a prissy elf and a horny elf maiden with a speech impediment… it can only be a shameless parody of Peter Jackson’s movie trilogy!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 33 - Words: 99,667 - Reviews: 371 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 105 - Updated: 10/1/2013 - Published: 9/21/2006 - Aragorn, Frodo B.
The Light Bearer by Chellez reviews
Aila, rational and modern, is the Light Bearer, the salvation of the Elves of Middle Earth. Seen as a Prophet, she first assists the Fellowship in their quest but amid the distraction and her own insecurities can she fulfill her prophecy in time?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 38 - Words: 171,507 - Reviews: 403 - Favs: 399 - Follows: 438 - Updated: 9/2/2013 - Published: 12/14/2010 - Legolas
A Typical LOTR fanfic MarySue Basher by Nazgul67 reviews
Uh..SOMEONE had to do it. A Mary-Sue basher starring Legolas and Rosemary "Sue" Jaqueline - or Mary-Sue. Uh..rated T for romance and not-as-bad language. Oh, and this is a Legolas basher too XD
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,728 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/2/2012 - Published: 3/18/2012 - Legolas
Would You Like Lembas With That? by Lyrical Ballads reviews
[Discontinued] Haldir experiences the joy and pain of working in a fast food restaurant. Oh, if only he had gone to college.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 40,232 - Reviews: 215 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 2/2/2012 - Published: 7/8/2010 - Haldir, Faramir, Peregrin T.
The Little Known Account of Emilyn of Rohan by mducquette reviews
As a young child, Emilyn is betrothed to Boromir of Gondor, but as her life unfolds in Gondor, she finds herself drawn to his brother, Faramir. Who will she choose, when her heart betrays her?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 55,550 - Reviews: 175 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 11/27/2011 - Published: 5/23/2004 - Faramir, Boromir
Background Check by Astiza reviews
Facebook profiles for the Characters in Lord of the Rings! Written as a parody. You will never look at the characters the same way again - in a good way of course. I think we're finished here folks. -NOW COMPLETE.. unless you have another idea!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 12 - Words: 7,077 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 11/1/2011 - Published: 8/11/2011 - Complete
Diamonds in the Sands by Archiril reviews
Ever wondered why Legolas seems to be unable to miss a target with his bow? Perhaps this story can give you an answer on that question... or just give you some - hopefully - enjoyable minutes.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,711 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 10/10/2011 - Published: 9/21/2011 - Legolas, Gimli - Complete
If You Only Had a Heart by kissables333 reviews
As their Hogwarts years passed, she sometimes doubted their friendship and him. But she always believed in him and in their friendship. That is, until their sixth year when it all fell apart. It was at the apex of their relationship that he let her down.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,490 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 8/26/2011 - Published: 12/30/2009 - Draco M., OC - Complete
The Muse Errant by Malina Wilwarin reviews
Muses are wonderful for any frustrated insomniac author to have around...except when they come in the form of relentlessly cheeky Elves. But when the real and the written worlds collide, an Author and her Muse must learn to work together to save both.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 25,659 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 8/22/2011 - Published: 4/26/2011 - Legolas
Look into my Eyes by Mirach reviews
Not just a flaming eye, but a person... The last moments of Sauron.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Spiritual/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,469 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/18/2010 - Sauron - Complete
I'm not in Love by PinkMartini reviews
Isa never imagined going to England would be more than just visiting her godfather for the summer...especially meeting his handsome and charming son, Legolas, who is also rude and teases her all the time. She could never fall for him, right?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 172,002 - Reviews: 238 - Favs: 228 - Follows: 120 - Updated: 8/12/2010 - Published: 11/10/2009 - Legolas - Complete
The WitchKing's Diary by Kwantum reviews
The undead life is an exhausting one, from getting the other Nazgul's to pay for renovations to being forced to chase after... jewelry
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 334 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/17/2010 - Witch-King of Angmar - Complete
The Abduction of Éomer, King of Rohan by Lialathuveril reviews
Princess Lothíriel of Dol Amroth finds her peace of mind disturbed by the arrival of a courier from Rohan. What she does not realize, however, is the fact that this is only the beginning... A tale of carpets, cabbages and cold water.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 50,178 - Reviews: 553 - Favs: 589 - Follows: 127 - Updated: 5/12/2010 - Published: 1/18/2010 - Lothíriel, Eomer - Complete
Hook, Line, and Sinker by Phoenix Satori reviews
The first time he meets her, she’s drowning herself in his ocean. ::Poseidon/Sally::
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,323 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 4/12/2010 - Published: 1/30/2010 - Poseidon, Sally J. - Complete
Things As They Should Be: A Trip To Rivendell by mbus55 reviews
Once again the heroes of Middle Earth find themselves tricked into listening to a fanfic written by one of their own. Crazy antics ensue as history is mangled, Mary Sues attack, and everyone is insulted. Based on Things As They Should Be: By Legolas.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 16 - Words: 23,019 - Reviews: 185 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 4/7/2010 - Published: 8/12/2008 - Complete
Adopt A Slytherin Day by Destiny's-Perfection reviews
Draco should have stayed in bed. He really really should have. Warning: Mild Slash/Yaoi. HP/DM.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,455 - Reviews: 205 - Favs: 598 - Follows: 195 - Published: 1/11/2010 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
The Madra by electricskye reviews
She was named for the bright tiny moon of the Yeerk home world. She began as a young and insignificant human girl. She became among the most feared and honored humans of both Earth and the Yeerk Empire. This is her story.
Animorphs - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 15 - Words: 40,628 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 12/8/2009 - Published: 10/13/2008
Mai's Ramblings by Loopy777 reviews
Mai's secret thoughts on all the Avatar ships- you know the funny is coming when the driest, most critical personality in the show decides to let it all out! Everything Avatar is analyzed and described in the most ridiculous way possible! A fan favorite!
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 59 - Words: 69,082 - Reviews: 256 - Favs: 229 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 10/3/2009 - Published: 10/25/2008 - [Sokka, Mai] Katara, Suki - Complete
Ask Elrond by labradorite reviews
Ask Lord Elrond any and all of your most personal questions! Go on, it’s easy! Just slip your anonymous letter in the box stationed outside of his office and expect a reply within the week. NO tampering with letters. That means YOU, Elladan and Elrohir!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 75,853 - Reviews: 913 - Favs: 275 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 9/18/2009 - Published: 5/14/2009 - Elrond - Complete
101 Ways to Kill Umbridge by Espoir Noir reviews
Sick to death of his DADA professor, Ron decided to compile this list.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 10 - Words: 7,657 - Reviews: 349 - Favs: 430 - Follows: 286 - Updated: 7/27/2009 - Published: 12/3/2007 - Ron W., Dolores U.
Daughter of Time by wednesday-mc reviews
Very AU & Alt Reality. Legolas never left Middle-Earth, but stayed behind to look after Aragorn's children--most specifically the first-born daughter of each generation. This generation's daughter was never prepared to believe in Elves, much less Legolas.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 45 - Words: 184,054 - Reviews: 1385 - Favs: 802 - Follows: 540 - Updated: 6/25/2009 - Published: 5/18/2008 - Legolas
Triple Trouble by Amethyst Elann reviews
A Hufflepuff values hard work, loyalty, and fair play. Nobody said anything about fending off a love potion enduced Draco Malfoy. Ravenclaws value intelligence, creativity, wit, and wisdom. Nobody said they had to help fend off a twitterpated Draco Malfoy
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 17,873 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 6/22/2009 - Published: 6/5/2009 - Draco M., OC - Complete
On the Wings of the Storm by Lialathuveril reviews
The year before the Ring War, Princess Lothiriel of Dol Amroth is sent to Rohan by her father to seek shelter from the storm brewing in Mordor. There she meets Éomer, Third Marshal of the Riddermark. Unfortunately they do not hit it first
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 128,326 - Reviews: 1278 - Favs: 927 - Follows: 268 - Updated: 2/16/2009 - Published: 3/11/2008 - Lothíriel, Eomer - Complete
Tatters of Reality by neurotic nymph reviews
17 year old Lizzy lives with an abusive uncle after her family passes. On one particular night her dreams spin out of control, sending her to a place she never knew existed. There she encounters snobby elves who she might befriend and learn what life is.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 46 - Words: 278,381 - Reviews: 466 - Favs: 293 - Follows: 147 - Updated: 1/5/2009 - Published: 4/15/2004 - Legolas - Complete
On the Other Hand by Recipe reviews
Typical. Rose hates Scorpius. Scorpius hates Rose. But one day, Rose and Scorpius need to work together, and they fall in love. You know the story, but what does Ron Weasley have to say about it? He’s not so pleased about chumming up with Draco Malfoy. OS
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,329 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 131 - Follows: 8 - Published: 12/30/2008 - Rose W., Scorpius M. - Complete
Ravenclaw Racketeers by CrashMind reviews
Ravenclaw Racketeers are a group of sly, underhand Ravenclaws who cause subtle trouble with their challenges. When Arcadia Morreno receives her first dare she is less than impressed to find herself tasked with seducing Draco Malfoy. But can she even do it
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 102,430 - Reviews: 301 - Favs: 266 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 11/23/2008 - Published: 10/8/2008 - Draco M., OC - Complete
Memories of battle by Ragnelle reviews
Battles comes in many forms, and the memories are not always dark. These are the memories of several characters, with Aragorn as the most prominent. Each vignette will have a different memory, told in first person. MEFAs first place 2009
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,142 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 10/21/2008 - Published: 6/21/2007 - [Aragorn, Arwen U.] Eomer
I Heard a Bird Sing by the quintessence of wyrd reviews
Sequel to April Rain Song. Draco obsessively stalks Luna after their happenstance at Nemo's Corner. Luna is put into a perilous situation, and Draco experiences a total uneclipse of the heart. R&R.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 15,507 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 8/7/2008 - Published: 6/30/2006 - Draco M., Luna L.
Rivendell International Airport by Primsong reviews
A bit of humor considering what might have happened if the Fellowship had decided to take a plane instead of walking all that ways - would Anduril make it through security?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,638 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 123 - Follows: 13 - Published: 3/1/2008 - Legolas, Gandalf - Complete
Heart's Blood by ChristineX reviews
COMPLETE! Lithiníel wanted to die. Therefore, Sauron desired that she should live. What happened next defied all expectations.... Set approximately 40 years before the War of the Ring.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 49,554 - Reviews: 230 - Favs: 367 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 10/4/2007 - Published: 4/27/2007 - Sauron - Complete
Things As They Should Be: By Legolas by mbus55 reviews
Legolas writes a fanfic and forces The Fellowship to listen. Warning: Characters will be made fun of. Lines will be changed. MarySues will die. Now complete!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 48 - Words: 48,050 - Reviews: 1312 - Favs: 336 - Follows: 130 - Updated: 9/23/2007 - Published: 11/14/2005 - Complete
The Quest for a Coat by FebruarySong reviews
When Frodo horribly tears his coat, the Fellowship is forced to enter the deep darkness of...the local mall. There they face fangirls, coatracks, and other angsty evils. Oneshot.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,230 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 6 - Published: 7/17/2007 - Complete
I Blame Iendil Ancawen Entirely by crazyroninchic reviews
A Mary Sue is dropped into MiddleEarth with every intent to wreck havoc. Join one normal, canon abiding girl in her quest to stop the Sue. Poor Legolas...poor Frodo...poor Fellowship!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 24,030 - Reviews: 568 - Favs: 299 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 7/15/2007 - Published: 1/27/2007 - Complete
Inheritance by ChristineX reviews
COMPLETE! Sequel to Only Eyes to See. Sauron has followed Sarah to this world and has possessed the body of her best friend. Must she fight the Dark Lord alone, or will she get help from an unexpected quarter? Rated M for sex & violence.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 113,040 - Reviews: 314 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 4/11/2007 - Published: 7/28/2006 - Sauron - Complete
Troubling New Developments by SicTransitGloria reviews
Kakashi takes a moment to wrap his mind around equating Ino’s chest with enemy shinobi while Asuma begins beating his head against the table and groaning about how he didn’t sign up for this. Rated for language and the general horror that is puberty
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,149 - Reviews: 602 - Favs: 3,831 - Follows: 522 - Published: 4/8/2007 - Kakashi H., Asuma S. - Complete
What Kind of Fool Am I? by crazyroninchic reviews
The Witch King reflects after being stabbed. Rating for slight language.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,126 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 6 - Published: 1/1/2007 - Complete
Things As They Should Be: A Christmas Story by mbus55 reviews
During a get together for the holiday season our favorite characters are subjected to a fanfic wirtten by one of their own. Based on my other LOTR fanfic, Things As They Should Be: By Legolas, though it makes sense on its own.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,054 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 11 - Published: 12/24/2006 - Complete
The Fate of Mary Sue by faramiriel reviews
The title says it all.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 231 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 5 - Published: 8/25/2006 - Legolas - Complete
In Her Savior's Arms by IloveOrlando08 reviews
A young woman, forced to suffer at the mercy of a cruel man, meets a certain elven prince who helps her to escape and start her life over. Over 500 Reviews! Thank you everyone.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 49 - Words: 88,260 - Reviews: 619 - Favs: 226 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 8/10/2006 - Published: 10/13/2005 - Legolas - Complete
Against the Grain by tigress33 reviews
Legolas goes to Rivendell to escape heartbreak and teach a young girl how to fight. As she grows up, she opens Legolas' soul to love once again. Story starts 14 years before the Fellowship of the Ring. COMPLETE!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 70,421 - Reviews: 758 - Favs: 558 - Follows: 199 - Updated: 7/25/2006 - Published: 6/12/2005 - Legolas - Complete
With the Tide by tigress33 reviews
Sequel to Against the Grain. Kari and the other members of the fellowship embark on their perilous journey to destroy the Ring. But other men, separations, and unforeseen dangers threaten to tear Kari and Legolas apart.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,700 - Reviews: 181 - Favs: 156 - Follows: 249 - Published: 7/25/2006 - Legolas
Only Eyes to See by ChristineX reviews
COMPLETE! Sarah falls into Middle Earth and ends up captured by the Lord of the Nazgul. Unfortunately, it just gets worse from there. Rated M for the usual sex and violence. Cover art in my profile!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 74,567 - Reviews: 356 - Favs: 435 - Follows: 120 - Updated: 7/19/2006 - Published: 4/19/2006 - Sauron - Complete
Melissa in MiddleEarth by Quickbeam29 reviews
An ordinary girl finds herself magically transported to MiddleEarth, where things are not what she expected...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,151 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/15/2006 - Legolas, Frodo B. - Complete
My Head Hurts by PinkMartini reviews
Legolas has a nervous break down from the madness that is called FanFiction. He seeks counsel from a therapist to try and calm his metal strain, but how long will it take to actually get there? Includes appearances from other LotR characters!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 15 - Words: 25,868 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 3/5/2006 - Published: 11/19/2002 - Legolas - Complete
April Rain Song by the quintessence of wyrd reviews
It’s been several years since the downfall of You Know Who. Draco Malfoy contemplates suicide over coffee, when his chance encounter with Luna Lovegood leads to a strange conversation that changes everything. DMLL, oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,969 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/16/2006 - Draco M., Luna L. - Complete
The Joys of the Modern World by Alaina reviews
Set today, the elves are back on earth. And Legolas and Glorfindel discover the joys of... fanfiction? Chapter 15
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 16,337 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 9/26/2005 - Published: 8/27/2003
Pentimento by Darma Druid reviews
Sequel to Fortress Around the Heart. More love. More hope. More denial. More battle. The Heart is a Fortress - against all its purpose of existence, its reason and its objective, it yearns to be conquered.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 149,110 - Reviews: 704 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 9/24/2005 - Published: 7/1/2004 - Legolas
Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around by crazyroninchic reviews
Several members of the Fellowship come across a Marysue Legomance. Chaos ensues…A bit of light humor and MS satire. If for nothing else, read to imagine the looks on Leggie’s face…COMPLETED
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 45 - Words: 49,741 - Reviews: 2194 - Favs: 844 - Follows: 155 - Updated: 8/3/2005 - Published: 1/22/2005 - Complete
Elrond's Surgery by Quickbeam29 reviews
When Arwen brings Frodo back, stabbed and looking inebriated, it is up to the skills of Elrond to save him.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,783 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/19/2004
Prisoner of the Fellowship by Gilraen73051 reviews
After a unexpected trip, Diana gets in trouble with the Fellowship
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 39,570 - Reviews: 205 - Favs: 179 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 10/5/2004 - Published: 6/6/2004 - Legolas - Complete
Why Leggy Doesn't Smile by Alaina reviews
Ever wonder why Legolas doesn't smile once throughout Lord of the Rings (FotR, NOT the extended version)? This is why. Reposted, with a higher rating. Please, if you still think it's too low, let me know.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 5,124 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/30/2004 - Published: 6/30/2004
No Escape by Earelwen reviews
What if Merry and Pippin hadn't escaped from the Orcs? What would they have had to sacrifice? Their freedom? Their sanity? Each other? Maybe everything they have, if the quest is to stand a chance. No slash.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 27,299 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/11/2004 - Published: 9/27/2003 - Meriadoc B., Peregrin T. - Complete
Elrond's Most Forgettable Birthday by TreeHugger reviews
Prince Legolas must choose something for King Thranduil to send to Lord Elrond for his birthday-something quite forgettable!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 119,386 - Reviews: 944 - Favs: 194 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 7/31/2004 - Published: 9/8/2002
Learning by Justmebymyself reviews
rated for language...and a lil' playfullness. Melanie drops into Middle Earth...not too unusual...but what is she when she gets there? My first fic. LAST CHAPTER IS UP...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 40,849 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 7/24/2004 - Published: 2/20/2004 - Legolas
Fortress Around The Heart by Darma Druid reviews
Yet another (mighty) stretch from Master Tolkien's work - a challenge for both reader and writer. Elves: immortal, powerful, rich, bitter, secluded, secret. And living amongst us today.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 225,108 - Reviews: 1144 - Favs: 405 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 2/5/2004 - Published: 10/3/2003 - Legolas
All Kinds The Malfoys by Paige Darke reviews
They breed all kinds, the Malfoys. Some are darker than others. And some are struggling just to see the light.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 642 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/7/2003 - Complete
The Imperfect One by JDArc reviews
[EDITED]She was a valiant warrior, and her skill in the art of combat more than made up for what she lacked in beauty. However, with her diminishing spirit, her only hope for survival lay not with her sword but with the one she refused to love.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 21 - Words: 85,860 - Reviews: 665 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 8/21/2003 - Published: 8/16/2002 - Legolas, Boromir
Perfect Time IV: Wild Child by wednesday-mc reviews
PRE-SLASH, NO Chan Legolas is left behind with Lord Elrond in Rivendell for the first time after Mithrandir must resume his duties.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 27,476 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 7/31/2003 - Published: 11/3/2002 - Legolas, Gandalf - Complete
The Last Grey Ship by ErinRua reviews
The voice of the Sea merely whispers, until the reasons to stay pass on. Aragorn's days are ending, and Gimli faces more farewells as Legolas looks to the West. How the story may have ended. Book-based. MITHRIL AWARD Commendation!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,441 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 3/5/2003 - Published: 7/31/2002 - Gimli, Legolas
How to write an LOTR MarySue by Skitty-Kat reviews
Pretty self-explanatory, I think.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,109 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 2/22/2003 - Published: 12/10/2002
Perfect Time III: First Time by wednesday-mc reviews
Legolas receives his first haircut at the hands of Gandalf
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,318 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 11 - Published: 9/14/2002 - Legolas, Gandalf - Complete
The Official Fanfiction University of Middleearth by misscam reviews
The fic that spawned miniBalrogs, Elrond's Naturally Nine, the MorgothSauron feud, Urple, the WitchWall and finally, Gimli got the girl.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 64 - Words: 66,366 - Reviews: 3152 - Favs: 1,938 - Follows: 197 - Updated: 7/12/2002 - Published: 3/8/2002 - Complete
Nine Men And A Little Lady by Kielle reviews
Once upon a time a mysterious girl joined the Fellowship...damn her! Sick of annoying Mary Sues? Actually READ Tolkien? This may cheer you up.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,725 - Reviews: 1265 - Favs: 2,367 - Follows: 244 - Published: 1/8/2002
A Usual Saturday by Faline1 reviews
Strange Legolas love story set in our time. First person narrative from a woman who doesn't know what it is to love
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,894 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/8/2002
The Animorphs' Mathlesson by Blue Dragon reviews
In this very strange, very silly little attempt of a short story, a teacher is trying to teach the Animorphs basic maths. Huge emphasis on TRYING...
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,159 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/6/2001 - Complete
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Pigs Do Fly reviews
What if LoTR characters live with you, but you don't know it until you're 25? What if Aragorn likes peanut butter? Shelob likes cooking? Uncle Pig Fiddledrat LXXVII the spider? What? It's more than Dra can take on her birthday! Oh, BTW, pigs can fly.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 57,689 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 5/8/2012 - Published: 9/2/2011
No Escape reviews
Fay is a valued servant of Sauron. Then she becomes the 10th Ringwraith, for the 10th Fellowship member, a Mary-Sue. Yet Fay never ventured out of Mordor, and is horrified by what Sauron has done. Will she help the Free Peoples, or side with her homeland?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 37,716 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 10/7/2011 - Published: 8/26/2011 - Sauron - Complete
Beyond Those Dark Eyes reviews
Arod has known nothing but war. But his master dies, and later Eomer hands him over to someone else, in this case, Legolas. But Arod hates him, and he wants his old one back. And will Arod ever learn the difference between a friend and an enemy?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 42,299 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 8/26/2011 - Published: 7/30/2011 - Legolas - Complete
That's A Promise reviews
Bill the Pony's been mistreated all his life. Then he is bought and sold for the Fellowship, he develops strong bonds with different people he's been with all his life, yet is left behind. Will he find his way home and be happy with friends? 1st fanfic!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,524 - Reviews: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/29/2011 - Published: 7/28/2011 - Complete