Incessant MoonyLicious Funtime
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Joined 06-14-10, id: 2404113, Profile Updated: 02-08-11
Author has written 8 stories for Harry Potter, House of Night, Twilight, Schooled, Gordon Korman, Inheritance Cycle, and Vampire Diaries.

Hello, mortals.

AS OF RIGHT NOW I HAVE NO INSPIRATION FOR ANY OF MY CURRENT STORIES. THEY WILL BE DISCONTINUED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE, THAT NOTICE BEING ME GETTING MY MUSE BACK. IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS AS TO HOW I CAN CONTINUE ANY OF MY STORIES, PLEASE DO NOT HESITIATE TO PM ME. I WILL BE STARTING A NEW STORY, WHICH I PROMISE I WILL CARRY OUT. THANKS FOR READING, AND I'M SORRY ABOUT THE INCONVENIENCE.

AI hope you can survive my...interesting tastes.

Procrastinators unite! Tomorrow.

Dyslexics untie!

According to http://www.semeuke.com/quiz.php I am a Clueless Uke!!!

Most compatible with: Opporotunist Seme, Romantic Seme

Least compatible with: Sadistic Seme, Don't F*k With Me Seme

Shoot me a PM if you're compatible!!!!!!!!

Name: You can call me Fish. You seriously think I'd tell you my real one? Ha! I scorn you.

Address: Seriously? *derisive snort*

Age: ...I'm in my teens. That's all you need to know. What's it to you?

Gender: Female

Alter Egos: Three, Sienna, Raven, and Sunny.

Best Friend: You might know her!! Her name is (not in real life of course) A Risened Cadence!!

Feel free to ask me for stories that you would like.

I specialize in many stories (not that I have written many, but I have read many books, so I am willing to write on these subjects):

Ranger's Apprentice
Mortal Instruments
Twilight Saga
Harry Potter
House of Night
Vampire Diaries (TV)
Night World
Morganville Vampires
Song of the Lioness
Immortals (Tamora Pierce)
Protector of the Small
Trickster Series
Circle of Magic
The Circle Opens
Beka Cooper
Immortals (Alyson Noel)
Vampire Academy
Artemis Fowl
Gregor the Overlander
Abarat
Modern Faerie Tales
Monster Blood Tattoo
Fallen

That's all I can think of for now.

Yes, I read alot.

I don't even know how many books I've read this summer.

CHALLENGE!!!

Whoever wants to can PM me with a fic that fits this criteria, and I will update any story on request:

1. Must be SLASH

2. Must be from any of the above series, prefferably Harry Potter

That's it. Have fun!

Here's the news on the stories...

BELLA SWAN, EXPERT WITCH: I'm going to be doing some major typing, because I owe you a few chapters...which are written! And scandalous! Chapters 5, 6, 7, and 8 are on their way to a mass update on the 28th!!!

I MET MYSELF TODAY: It's done. Seriously? Did you expect a sequel?

RANDOM THOUGHTS: I need ideas on how to kill Bella next. Anyone?

SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR: Chapter 6 is on the way, it is written and sent off to my faithful beta, lasweetie. Expect it up on the 28th!!!

TWENTYFIVE: Unless the poll comes out as a yes, there's not going to be anymore. You'll just have to deal with it. If you love me, give me 5 positive reviews and the next chapter's yours.

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'

1. I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
2. I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
3. I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
4. We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
5. I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
6. I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
7. I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
8. I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
9. We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
10. I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
11. I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised, the court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
12. I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
13. I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
14. I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
15. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
16. I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
17. I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
18. I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
19. I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
20. I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

Controversial Issues:

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage

If you approve gay-marriages put this in your profile and add your name to the list:

Gaara's-pandachan101, art-is-a-BANG-2-hard-to-resist, Lee-All-The-Way, Starship13, Wistful-Dreamer, Calypphire, Shadow-Ravin, BlackPheonix913, Valerya Potter, Dowash, Phoenixsapphira, vampirewizardlvr, Sacrifice of the Soul,

There are no sexualities. You love who you love and that's that. It's not restricted to one gender, no matter what gender it is. If you agree with me, copy & paste this into your profile

92 percent of american teens would die if Abercrombie & Fitch told them it was uncool to breath, it you are the 8 that would be laughing their asses off... copy andpost this onto your profile

If you have burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this in your profile

If you've ever bumped into a chair and said, "Sorry," copy this in your profile

If you have ever hated someone with a fiery passion and wished they were tortured in some horrific way, copy this in your profile

If you think those stupid kids should give the rabbit some friggin' Trix, copy this in your profile

If you think the Coa-Coa Puff Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this in your profile

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the friggin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, copy this in your profile

If you've ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes, copy this in your profile

If you think being weird is a good thing because being weird means that you stand out and standing out means that you're unique, and if you think being strange is a bad thing because if you're strange you're creepy, and if you're creepy, you're a stalker, copy and paste this into your profile

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or the combination of both, copy this in your profile

If you find yourself making fanfictions of other fanfictions in your head, post this in your profile

If you've ever just tuned someone out because they keep going on, and on, and on...copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever just stared mindlessly at the t.v, not knowing what you were really watching, copy and paste this into you profile

If you have ever just wanted to get up and punch someone(coughyour teachercough) in the face, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever watched someone suffering, really not wanting them to suffer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that males who judge by gender are stupid, idiots, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that people are unfairly judging you based on your religion, or skin color, or place you come from, etc. copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that Spongebob needs to SERIOUSLY go to rehab, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that Patrick Star is awesome, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've seen someone trip, and even though you really didn't want to, and you burst out laughing, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that one of your friends is cough sick and twisted in so many ways cough copy and paste this into your profile.

When I lose my mind, will you help me find it?

The world would be a better place if fictional characters were real.

Smile...it confuses people (it truely does)

If a tomato is a fruit then what does that make ketchup?

Wise Sayings of Wisdom:

1. Scarcasm is a body's natural defence against stupid.

2. Intellegence is knowing that the water that falls from the sky is rain. Wisdom is having enough sence to get out of it.

3. If you build it they will come.

4. The best things in life are either fattining or free.

5. 70 of stitistics are made up on the spot.

6. No one knows everything.

7. Everyone is special in their own way.

8. You will learn that over time two things will not change: boy's brains and the fact that all schools are boring.

9. Everyone has or will be an artist in one way or another.

10. If you believe in yourself there is very little that you cannot do.

11. Many people will look at bumper stickers just because they have nothing better to do.

12. Number 11 is sad.

13. Everyone will expierence greif...what makes you different is how you deal with it.

14. It is very hard to stop a war but is easy to start one.

15. Everyone procrastinates.

16. Everyone is OCD about something.

93 percent of teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

I'm sick of the people who make fun of me
I'm sick of the people who can't truly see.
They say I'm a freak, that I'm no good.
They say they's get rid of me, if only they could.
They're scared that I'm different; they're scared that I'm me.
They're scared cause I'm who I want to be.

If those who call you a freak make you feel like this, post it on your profile.

Freaks of the world, unite!

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded

Child abuse

My name is Sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

Please copy and past if you agree with this. No one should suffer such a fate. Not even your most hated enemy.

By the way: If anyone needs a beta, check out my beta profile and contact me if you're interested - I want to try out beta-reading.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, Elmocrazy,XxKimimaro's-little-stalkerxX. SakuraUmeTheDeadSheNinja, Sabaku no Kurai, MutantPaperClipWarrior,number1sasunaruffan, TheSkysCloud, DMHPsasunaru, Herald-MageAnduli, Sacrifice of the Soul,

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Copy and paste this bunny into your profile to help it achieve world domination. Come to the dark side (we have cookies.) ((and yaoi!!!))

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight are fat headed wannabe fans, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon copy and paste this onto your profile (I cry whilst reading fanfics too)

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a walking, talking Twilight series encyclopedia and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile.

Somewhere over the rainbow...idiots die...

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm SANDY BLOND, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I A GOOD STUDENT, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll..
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm OF IRISH DESCENDANTS, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be a loner
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm white so I MUST carry white out for emo cuts
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSS DRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST. (I REALLY hate our gov, but i love America)
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I CURSE a lot, so I MUST be a rebel.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I wear GLASSES, so I MUST be a nerd.
I'm a TOMBOY, so I MUST be lesbian.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I'm a TOMBOY, so I MUST have no female friends.
I don't have many FRIENDS, so I MUST be unpopular
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

I am AGGRESSIVE WHEN I’M ON MY PERIOD, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST love pink
I write Fanfics, so I MUST be a freak

I wear BRACES, so I MUST be a nerd
I like WEBKINZ, so I MUST be childish
I like the JONAS BROTHERS, so I MUST have bad taste in music
I like DISNEY singers and shows, so I MUST be childish
I’m CONFUSED ABOUT WHAT MY RELIGION IS AT THE MOMENT, so I MUST be misguided.
I GREW UP PLAYING WITH TOY CARS AND LEGO, so I MUST be a guy.
My FAVORITE COLOUR IS BLUE, so I MUST be a guy.
I LOVE BLOWING BUBBLES BECAUSE THEY MAKE ME SMILE AND REMIND ME OF BETTER TIMES, so I MUST be childish.
I LIKE BOYS AND GIRLS, so I MUST not be Christian.
I LOVE SLASH, so I MUST be perverted.
I LIKE GETTING LOST IN A BOOK, so I MUST be a loner.
I’m NOT EMO, OR GOTH, OR GANGSTER, OR A SKATER, OR A PREP, why can’t I just be me? Labels suck.
I’m NOT AFRAID TO STAND UP FOR WHAT I BELIEVE IN, so I MUST be an annoying person who tries to shove my beliefs down your throat.
I HAVE BEEN BULLIED, so I MUST be a weak person.
I DON’T TRY TO BE PART OF THE CROWD, so I MUST be a loner.
When GIVEN THE CHOICE BETWEEN MY FRIENDS OR THE “IN” CROWD I CHOSE MY FRIENDS, so I MUST be stupid.
I PROCRASTINATE, so I MUST be lazy.
I CHEERED WHEN DUMBLEDORE DIED, so I MUST be cold hearted (even though he was a manipulative berk)
I WISH I COULD HUG SEVERUS SNAPE, so I MUST be suicicidal.
I LOVE EDWARD CULLEN, SO I MUST HATE GUYS WHO ARE REAL. (but I do wish Edward was real...)
I READ BOOKS, so I MUST be a NERD.

If you hate stereotypes and think people should just shut up and stop, add one and POST THIS!

If your profile is way too long, copy and paste this into it to make it longer!

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies. X
You love jeans. X
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt. X
You've played with/against boys on a team. X
Shopping is torture. X
Sad movies suck. X
You own/ed an X-Box. X
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid. X
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter. X
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega. X
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool. X
You go to your dad for advice.X
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear. X
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people. X
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors. X
You love to go crazy and not care what people think. X
Sports are fun.
Talk with food in your mouth. X
Sleep with your socks on at night

Total: 17

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink.
Go to your mom for advice. X
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars. X
You were in gymnastics/dance.X
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should. X
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies. X
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing.

Total: 5

Really? I'm a guy? Not the last time I checked... Nope, still not a guy. DANG IT YOU STUPID INTERNET!

If you are obsessed with FanFiction, put this into your profile

If Fanfiction is your way of escaping reality and the rest of the boring people in the world and truly "unleashing your imagination" then paste this in your profile and add your name: Emerald Princess 14, StardustFromThePlanetGallifrey, NarnianFairypirateatwilight, Storms-Are-My-Nature, ShadowRose18, Claire Violet Thorpe

If you think you've read over a hundred fanfictions, copy and paste this into you're profile. (My favorites get filled every day)

If you would love to stay a night in a library, copy and paste this on your profile (I wish I could LIVE in the library!)

If Fanfiction consumes your life (but love it!), copy and paste this into you're profile (I know I need to get a social life)

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. (my family has since given up on me.)

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. (I have my own universe, thank you very much!)

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile. (I can read 3 if need may be or if I'm bored)

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. (rarely)

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

Being unique is thinking outside the box, reading between the lines, coloring out of pictures, dancing to the tune of your own drummer, and having a heck of a better good time than other people. If you're unique, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have a very wide variety of interests, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you love the rain, copy and paste this to your profile.


Fanfiction. Because 87 percent of all original endings SUCK.
Fanfiction. Because 95 percent of all plot twists are either predictable or stupid.
Fanfiction. Because my favorite characters always die.
Fanfiction. Because sometimes evil deserves to win.
Fanfiction. Because some authors just don't know which of their own characters go together best.
Fanfiction. Because most authors aren't willing to write multiple versions of their stories just so we can see every possibility that arises.


Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this. I love babies and I want to have children someday, so I hate abortion.

If you are obsessed with FanFiction, put this into your profile

If Fanfiction is your way of escaping reality and the rest of the boring people in the world and truly "unleashing your imagination" then paste this in your profile and add your name: Emerald Princess 14, StardustFromThePlanetGallifrey, NarnianFairypirateatwilight, Storms-Are-My-Nature, ShadowRose18, Claire Violet Thorpe

If you think you've read over a hundred fanfictions, copy and paste this into you're profile. (My favorites get filled every day)

If you would love to stay a night in a library, copy and paste this on your profile (I wish I could LIVE in the library!)

If Fanfiction consumes your life (but love it!), copy and paste this into you're profile (I know I need to get a social life)

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. (my family has since given up on me.)

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. (I have my own universe, thank you very much!)

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile. (I can read 3 if need may be or if I'm bored)

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. (rarely)

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

Being unique is thinking outside the box, reading between the lines, coloring out of pictures, dancing to the tune of your own drummer, and having a heck of a better good time than other people. If you're unique, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have a very wide variety of interests, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you love the rain, copy and paste this to your profile.


You say Pink,
I say black!
You say the Harry Potter series,
I say the Twilight series!
You say the Jonas Brothers are hot,
I say the Cullen brothers are HOTTER!
You say Miley Cyrus,
I say Haley Williams!
You say Romeo and Juliet,
I say Edward and Bella!
You say Vampires,
I say Werewolves!
You say Team Edward,
I say Team Jacob 4 ever!
You say you hate Twilight,
I say I hate YOU!


Fanfiction. Because 87 percent of all original endings SUCK.
Fanfiction. Because 95 percent of all plot twists are either predictable or stupid.
Fanfiction. Because my favorite characters always die.
Fanfiction. Because sometimes evil deserves to win.
Fanfiction. Because some authors just don't know which of their own characters go together best.
Fanfiction. Because most authors aren't willing to write multiple versions of their stories just so we can see every possibility that arises.


Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

SAD STUFF :'(

A little girl holding the hand of her orphanage nanny looks up at the sky and asks "What are those little lights in the sky?"

Two figures stand in front of a little girl's grave, crying over their dead daughter.

A sister shields her little brother from her father's drunken rage. Her brother runs away on the day of her funeral.

A man getting on a bus walks under a black sky, the stars hidden by light pollution. He has only seen stars in movies and pictures.

A little boy holds his mother, trying to keep her warm and dry from the rain dripping into their cardboard box.

A girl stands on the street in front of her house in the snow because she told her parents that she was lesbian.

A Jewish man hides his face in public from fear of getting harmed.

The neighbors hear screaming and crying in the apartment beside them, and had seen the woman with an empty bottle of alcohol walking towards the room, but they just pull their blankets tighter around them.

A girl sleeps on a park bench because she got pregnant and let her parents know.

Someone kicks mud in the face of a man asking for a spare bit of change. The man couldn't get a job because he was gay.

An African American woman stops going to church because they don't accept her race.

A mother cries as the police drag her sobbing daughter away. Her wife comes outside and hugs her. The police had said she was an unfit mother because she was lesbian.

MUSIC MOVIE:
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question, type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button.
6. DON'T LIE GEEZ.

Opening Credits: Toxic- Britney Spears

Birth: The Day Before You - Rascal Flatts

Childhood: Slow Ride - Beastie Boys

First day at school: One Step at a Time - Jordin Sparks

High School Years: Say Something - Mariah Carey Ft. Snoop Dog

Falling in Love: Tied Together with a Smile - Taylor Swift

Fight Song: By Myself - Linkin Park (How appropriate!)

Breaking Up: It's Not Over - Chris Daughtry (is my iPod psychic or something?)

Prom: Ice Cream - Sarah McLachlan

High School Graduation: All or Nothing - Athena Cage

College Years: Fully Alive - Flyleaf

Life: Smack That - Akon Ft. Eminem

Mental Breakdown: I Feel Bad - Rascal Flatts (No, really?)

Driving: Behind These Hazel Eyes - Kelly Clackson

Flashback: No Reins - Rascal Flatts

Wedding: Seduction Usher Ft. Genuwine

Birth Of Child: Imaginary - Evanescence

INTERMISSION: There For You - Flyleaf

Final Battle: Rock This Country! - Shania Twain

Death Scene: Belief - Gavin DeGraw

Funeral: Everybody's Fool - Evanescence

End Credits: Whenever You Remember - Carrie Underwood

Outtakes: We Belong Together - Mariah Carey

I would totally watch that movie. It sounds like my mind: insane and scrambled.

Put your MP3 on shuffle and the song you get is the answer to each question (this is my own little rule—you have to comment! Because it’s funner that way! :D):

1. How does the world see me?

Vivaldi: Double Cello Concerto In G Minor, RV 531 - 2. Largo

(Depressed? Okay then.)

2. Will I have a happy life?

I Love You - Sarah McLachlan

(Cool, cool, what next?)

3. What do people really think of me?

Caro Mio Ben - Luciano Pavarotti

(Italian? And a guy? Who's dead? Dang.)

4. Do people secretly lust after me?

She's Crafty - Beastie Boys

(Really? Hmm, I may have to use that to my advantage.)

5. How can I make others happy?

Come In With The Rain - Taylor Swift

(By singing a song unwillingly. Wow.)

6. How can I make myself happy?

Get Out of This Town - Carrie Underwood

(By leaving with my lover? I'm quite mushy today, hmm...)

7. What should I do with my life?

I'm In Love With a Girl - Gavin DeGraw

(Fall in love with someone of the same gender. Can you say yuri?)

8. Will I ever have children?

Looking For a Reason - Little Big Town

(With a reason? Well, obviously.)

9. What is some good advice for me?

The New Style - Beastie Boys

(What?)

10. What do I think my current theme song is?

Hero - Mariah Carey

(I do think everyone has someting inside them which makes them good and pure. Good iPod!)

11. What does everyone else think my current theme song is?

Everybosy's Fool - Evanescence

(Really? Stupid people. It only used to be. Get with the times.)

12. What song will play at my funeral?

Inside Your Heaven - Carrie Underwood

(Psychic iPod much?)

13. What type of men do you like?

Raining on Our Love - Shania Twain

(Mushy, sentimental ones. Fabulous.)

14. What is my wedding day going to be like?

A Place in This World - Taylor Swift

(Sounds like fun!)

15. Why am I here?

God Bless The Child - Shania Twain

(To be suffering child who got blessed? Geez. I had a tough childhood, I guess.)

16. What will people remember me for?

Medicate The Kids - Gavin DeGraw

(For drugging up children? Woo-hoo!)

17. What song will I get stuck in my head tomorrow?

Starts With Goodbye - Carrie Underwood

(Not a bad one to get stuck.)

18. Are there people outside waiting to take me away?

What I've Done - Linkin Park

(What HAVE I done? It must be something bad, they're going to take me away! Sad face!)

19. What will this year be all about?

Bella's Lullaby - Carter Burwell

(Classical music? Alrighty then.)

20 - If you reached the top of Mount Everest, you would scream:

Like You'll Never See Me Again - Alicia Keys

(Yes. Then I would jump off the cliff. Not really. It makes sense though.)

21 - The next time you stand up in front of a group of people, you'll say:

I'm So Sick - Flyleaf

(Yup, then I'd run off the stage and find a convenient bathroom in which to puke my guts out!)

22 - Your message to the world:

Can I Have A Kiss - Kelly Clackson

(Really? No way.)

23 - Your deepest secret:

These days - Rascal Flatts

(What the hells?)

24 - Your innermost desire:

One Step Closer

(To go insane. Yep. That's it. That is all I wish to aspire to.)

25 - Your oldest memory makes you think:

Now You Tell Me - Jordin Sparks

(I had no clue what was going on, so...yeah.)

26 - Somewhere in your wedding vows, you'll include:

I Will Remember You - Sarah McLachlan

(I hope so! They'll be my spouse!)

27 - When you wake up in the morning, you mutter:

In The End - Linkin Park

(It's true. Nothing matters in the morning. Don't bother me until me second cup of coffee.)

28 - Right now, your feelings are:

Caged Bird - Alicia Keys

(I am quite caged in right now.)

29 - The day you fall in love will be the day that:

Stand - Rascal Flatts

(I'll feel flustered, but I'll pull through in the end. Sounds accurate.)

30- You’d describe your best friend as:

Given Up - Linkin Park

(Hmm... She is slightly insane.)

31- You'd describe yourself as:

Black Eyes, Blue Tears - Shania Twain

(I'll cry alot. Fabu.)

32- Your friends describe you as:

The Life - Alicia Keys

(Sane, boy are they wrong!)

33- In an elevator you are most likely to:

Like You - Evanescence

(Panic about my love life. Fab.)

34- Your philosophy in life is:

Fallin' For You - Colbie Callait

(Fall in love. Nope.)

35 - Your farewell message to the readers of this:

Intergalactic - Beastie Boys

(Yes. I am an alien.)

1. Put your iPod on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag friends who might enjoy doing the meme as well as the person you got the meme from.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?

Fully Alive - Flyleaf

(O..kay?)

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?

5th Caprice-Violin - Yoyoma Paganini

(So true! THERE ARE NO WORDS.)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

Here Comes The BOOM - Nelly

(Yes. I want boom from my lover.)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?

Walk Away - Kelly Clarkson

(To yell at people to go away. Yes.)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

Taxman - Stevie Ray Vaughan

(Seriously?)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Like You'll Never See Me Again - Alicia Keys

(Hmm...)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

Never Felt This Way Before - Alicia Keys

(What the hell?)

WHAT IS 2+2?

You Don't Have to Call Me - Taylor Swift

(No you don't because I don't know what it is.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Faint - Linkin Park

(That she makes me faint. Hm.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Always Be My Baby - Mariah Carey

(How approprite.)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Clumsy - Fergie

(ITS TRUE! ITS SOOOOOOOO EFFING TRUE!!!!)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Do What You Have To Do - Sarah McLachlan

(I guess I'll do whatever it takes.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

To Love Somebody - Jordin Sparks

(Enough said.)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

Butterflyz - Alicia Keys

(Gah!)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

Shake It Off - Mariah Carey

(Really.)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

Going Under - Evanescence

(Nope! I'm being creamated!)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

What I've Done - Linkin Park

(I do bad things.)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

In The End - Linkin Park

(How did you KNOW!!!!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Breathe Today - Flyleaf

(I hope they do!)

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?

Taking Over Me - Evanescence

(Wow. Good guess.)

HOW WILL YOU DIE?

My Immortal - Evanescence

(I won't!!! It's called 'immortal', people!)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?

Slow Ride - Beastie Boys

(Driving slowly. I've never driven. Really?)

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?

Can I Have A Kiss - Kelly Clarkson

(The thought of me ever getting a kiss. Ha!)

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?

Fallin' - Alicia Keys

(That would. It scares me half to death!)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?

Girls - Beastie Boys

(L...O...EFFING...LZ!!!!!!! I'll marry a chick!)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?

Medicate The Kids - Gavin DeGraw

(Drugged up kids. Yes.)

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?

Love Takes Time - Mariah Carey

(Psychic iPod!)

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?

Nothing But Love For You - Chris Brown

(I don't get it!)

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?

Fallin' Upside Down - Rascal Flatts

(No, really?)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?

He Ain't The Leavin' Kind - Rascal Flatts

(Nope.)

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Would read then ignore this.
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit!!

Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forhead,

who keeps your picture in his wallet,

who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,

who holds your hand in front of all his freinds,

who thinks your beautiful without makeup,

one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you,

THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER!

Things I learned from Twilight!

1. You can enjoy the bouquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porsche 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and saefest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.

30. Grand Theft Auto is bad...unless its a porche
31. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise

32: When a boy ignores you, it just means he's a vampire and is too polite to drink your blood.

You know you live in 2010 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace.

4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.

6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.

7. As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

8. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.

9. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.

10. You were too busy to notice number five.

11. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.

12. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.

13. Put this in your profile if you fell for it. You know you did.

If you're in love with a fictional character, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are Harry Potter obsessed, copy this into your profile and add your name: Ga Nat Nat, Evil other sister,Frozenfan, Emerald Bear, kyprioths Shadow, padfoot-an-prongs, World Peace, Dark Angel- lonely traveler,Kitsune-princess94, Vamprisslizy, AtrumMaximus, Sacrifice of the Soul

-If you support werewolf rights, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you support vampire rights, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-if you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If people mistake you for a vampire copy and paste this onto your profile

-If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

-If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

-If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

-If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you think that Sasuke from Naruto completely has to have the nick-name 'Chicken Butt Hair Dude', copy this to your profile while laughing your ass off.

-Bad spellers of the world UNTIE! If you are a bad speller and proud of it copy this to your profile. (Thank god for spell check..)

-If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination, copy and paste into your profile.

-If you have ever stared at a Juice container because it said 'Concentrate', copy and paste this into your profile.

-Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Baa Baa Black Sheep had the same tune, and were all composed by Mozart.

-I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do.

-"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

-If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

-If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

-If you have your own little world(s), copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.

-If you have ever thrown something at your television when you saw a character you despised, whether it be a piece of popcorn, a fork, or a chair, copy and paste this to your signature.

-If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

-If you have WAY too much time on your hands and you're on fanfiction.net with that time, copy and paste this in your profile.

-If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.

-If you've ever laughed so hard tears streamed down your face, you banged your repeatedly on a table, and received weird looks from everyone in the immediate vicinity, copy and paste this in your profile.

-If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile!

-If you KNOW the voice in your head are real, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE then it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

-Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile.

-If you think that I think that you think that I think that you think that I am totally spazzing out right now with the 'If you thinks' copy this to your profile already!!

-If you think that I'm making you think too much, copy this to your profile.

-If you think that life without computers is useless, copy this to your profile.

-If you have ever run into a wall while being total sugar high copy this into your profile.

-If you think that if girls would rule the world and it would be a better place then copy this onto your profile.

-If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of it, copy this into your profile.

-If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

-Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

-98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like chocolate chip cookies.

-If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

-If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

-If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

-If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy this onto your profile.

-If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

-93 percent of teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

-If people give you strange looks all the time, copy this into your profile.

-If you ever drunk blood, copy this into your profile.

-If you're addicted to chocolate, copy this into your profile.

-If you're addicted to fire, copy this into your profile.

-If you tried eating your food with chopsticks, copy this into your profile.

-If you found out you can't eat with chopsticks normally, copy this into your profile.

-If you have a powerful killer intent and use it all the time, copy this into your profile.

-If you like to kill people in a very painful way, copy this into your profile.

-If you like songs that are as sick as you, copy this into your profile.

-If you read fanfictions at times you're supposed to do your homework, copy this into your profile.

-If you think a lot of people rock, but you're the best, copy this into your profile.

-If you like dragons, copy this into your profile.

-If you think you should have world domination, copy this into your profile.

-If you think the bunny should have word domination, copy this into your profile.

-If you want word domination, but don't mind to share it with the bunny, copy this into your profile.

-If you're bored enough to read this, copy this into your profile.

-If you have multiple personalities, copy this into your profile.

-If you don't have a clue who you really are, copy this into your profile.

-If you know exactly who you are, copy this into your profile.

-If you just love to not agree with yourself, copy this into your profile.

-If you think normal people are so damn weird, copy this into your profile.

-If you ever had a dream were you were a Konoha nin, copy this into your profile.

-If you read this whole thing to the end, be proud, and copy this into your profile.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot.

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself.

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else.

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffeine.

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

You have strange nicknames and can tell a detailed story about how you got them.

You tell stories in your head, as if you're writing it down.

When someone asks you something about a book or its characters, you go off on a half-hour tangent about a plot-bunny that came into your head about said character/book.

You already know who your first book is going to be dedicated to.

When someone asks you what you want to be when you get older, there's no hesitation when you automatically reply "A novelist."

You get sidetracked easily, and often break off mid-conversation to talk about something else, but can sit and read/write for hours on end, no matter how much chaos is happening around you.

You don't want kids because they would take away from your reading/writing time.

You put off homework/going to work so that you can finish reading/writing a story.

If your profile is WAY TOO FREAKING LONG, copy this into your profile just to make it that much freeaking longer.

If you've messed up your profile and posted some of the stupidest things twice, copy this into your profile.

Procrastinators of the world unite! Tomorrow.

Yes, Paul Simon, I too wish I was a Kellog's cornflake.

My Name: Means color. Expels thoughts. Encourages the unsightly. Forgives Mispellings.

My Age: Translates to naivete. Allows me few responsibilities. Gives me small comfort. Tells lies.

My Address: Halfway to going not home. Almost to where I think I should be. Intentionally heading all the way.

Gender: Is but an unseemly definition of what society shall expect of you. I shall not be a homemaker.

Ingnorance: The thought that I can do all by trying. I know this, yet forget.

The answer is always yes, excluding singular uses of negativity. Double cancels out, and therefore is fine (and dandy).

Love needs hope, hope for peace, and peace will bring love. That said, love everyone! :)

I'm speaking in circles, so geometrically speaking, I'm well rounded. If you thought that was funny, we too, need a life. This has been a grammatical pun brought to you by... 1:37 a.m. Whoo!

Coffee is the key to a soul. The lovely balance between harsh chemicals and bitter beauty give one's self better insight.

I can consider myself cool. Forgiving how an average person defines the word, I'm exemplary in the subject. For a start, I'm always freezing. Also, I play the saxophone. This logic cannot be argued.

Funny Stuff!

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit! (Carlisle!)

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people!

The Difference Between Love And Attraction:

One day, a guy was following a girl everywhere she goes. When the girl noticed, she faced the guy and said, "Why are you following me everywhere I go?"

The guy answered, "Because you are very pretty and I think I'm falling in love with you."

"Why don't you like my sister? She is much prettier than me. She is behind you right now."

The guy turned around only to see that there was nobody there. "Are you trying to kid me? There's nobody there!"

The girl looked smug as she said, "If you really love me, you shouldn't have looked back."

Copy And Paste This In Your Profile If You Agree.

This is a true story:

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"Please God, why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
And the poor child was beaten
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless piece of s!"

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
Then quickly barged in
Everything quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the little girl
Lying dead on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

(add this to your profile if your against child abuse)

you are addicted to vampires, post this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste.

If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.


What I really need is minions...

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

A person who smiles in crisis has found someone to blame.

7/5 of all people do not understand fractions.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

It's not MY fault I never learned to accept responsibility!

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Don't worry too much about what people think, because they seldom do.

Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.

Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back.

Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.

If this saying did not exist, somebody would have invented it.

Why get even when you can get odd?

What goes around usually gets dizzy and falls over.

Any system that depends on human reliability is unreliable.

If time is on your side, what's on the other?

How is it that "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Those of you who think you know everything are very annoying to those of us who actually do.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance?


If you would take a bullet for your best friend, put this in your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't (and doesn't plan to), copy and paste this in your profile.

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.of course I have a myspace too :)


LADIES don't start fights, we FINISH them.

Do you remember when Pluto was a planet? Yeah, those were the days...

Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid?

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me, either.
Just leave me the heck alone!


This is funny!

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man "Haven't we met before?"
Woman "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man "Is this seat empty?"
Woman "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man "Your place or mine?"
Woman "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman "It's in the phone book."

Man "But I don't know your name."
Woman "That's in the phone book too."

Man "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman "I'm a female impersonator."

Man "What sign were you born under?"
Woman "No Parking."

Man "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman "Do not Enter"

Man "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman "Unfertilized"

Man "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."
Woman "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"

Man "I know how to please a woman."
Woman "Then please leave me alone."

Man "I want to give myself to you."
Woman "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man "I can tell that you want me."
Woman "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."

Man "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy
Woman "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

Man "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman "Sorry, I don't date outside my species.."

Man "Your body is like a temple."
Woman "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman "Yes, but would you stay there?

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together


If you are a serial killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME. If you are a cereal killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM MY FRUIT LOOPS.

Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the heck is drinking my dang soda.


Reasons why girls are the best

1.We got off the Titanic first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look effin gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.


"On the count of 3"
"Why 3?"
"That's just the way it works,"
"Why not five?"
"Are you new here?"

If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

Where am I to go, now that I've gone too far?

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "where the heck is the ceiling?".

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say that Humpty Dumpty is an egg?

I forgot to remember.

Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

Silence is golden but Duct tape is silver.

I see dumb people.

Tiny unicorns goring his bronchial tubes would be cooler.

I intend to live forever...so far so good!

Do vegetarians eat animals crackers?

Of course I'm talking to myself...who else can I trust?

Having a smoking section in a restraurant is like having a peeing section in a pool.

Hug a tree: they have less issues than people.

Dear Santa,
If you leave a bike under the tree I will give you the antidote to the poison I put in the milk.
Timmy

I had a GREAT dream about you last night! I was bashing your head into a wall! Yeah, it was great...

If a man speaks in a forest, and no women is around to hear him, is he still wrong?

Legally, it's questionable. Morally, it's disgusting. Personally, I like it.

Awesome; without me, my friends are just aweso.

I'd tell you I'm stalking you, but I don't think that would go over well.

I never finish anyth

696 I'm evil, and twisted.

If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable.

lol; the perfect thing to type when there's nothing else to say.

It's funnier now that I get it.

He said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you don't have anything to put in it.
She said: You wear pants, don't you?

Will eat for food.

By the time you read this, you've already read it.

Practice safe lunch: use condiments.

We're all gonna die, but I got a helmet.

They don't know that we know they know we know.

When life gives you lemons, keep them. 'Cause, hey, free lemons.

I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly.

Please don't throw your cigerate butts on the floor. The cockroaches are getting cancer.

Video games ruined my life. Good thing I have two more.

The guy may wear the pants in a relationship, but the girl controls the zipper.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

It's a shame stupidity isn't painful...

Please, keep talking! I always yawn when I'm interested!

10 reasons to procrastinate:
1.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the titanic.

CAUTION: Highly Awesome. Keep away from all UNAWESOME material.

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes.
He said, "No hablo ingles."

Everyone's unique in their own unique way. Therefore, being unique is not all that unique...

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

Common sense is not so common.

He would make a lovely corpse.

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

I wrote your name in the sky
But the wind blew it away.
I wrote your name in the sand,
But the waves swept it away.
I wrote your name in my heart,
And it lasted forever.

One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
And ran to save the two dead boys.
And if you don't believe it's true,
Go ask the blind man, he saw it too.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Let me tell you a story about four friends of mine: Everybody, Nobody, Anybody, and Somebody. They were good friends and all lived in the same town.
A new person was going to move into their town, and they needed a house. Everybody thought Somebody would build it, and Somebody thought Anybody would build it. But, in the end, Nobody built it.
So, Everybody was mad at Somebody because Nobody did the job Anybody could have done.

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity, Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.


I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr waht oerdr the ltteres of a wrod are in, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs cpoy and psate it in yuor pofrile.

I want a man that when I come running up to him with tears streaming down my face, the first thing he says is, "Baby, whose ass do I have to kick?"

Life's too short and nothing lasts forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off, avoid the bull crap, and never have regrets, because at one point what you did was exactly what you wanted.

I name inanimate objects.


If you get really good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this onto your profile. (I wonder is a cat could beat up a monkey? I swear i just saw a robotic viking... OMFG Theres a dragon- Hmm? I'm sorry, did you say something?)

If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile. (I didnt scream though! I just made this sort of "Uuunnnnghooooomfff" noise)

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile (The scary thing is it has come-backs... O.o)

If you've ever done homework, were reading a story on fanfiction, were writing a story for fanfiction, were talking to a friend, or were watching TV at the same time, copy and paste this into your profile (Girls can multi-task)

If you randomly check your email every five minutes while on the computer, copy this into your profile.

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE that it's weird. If you agree but you've done this, too, copy this and put it in your profile. (Its true. Is not!. Yeah it is. Your making yourself sound like a raving lunatic! Your point being? Shut up, Emily. Make me. Listen, if I go down I'm taking you with me. Bring it! Hits self in head with frying pan)

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile. (... Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!... So yeah, here I am. Laughing to myself in the dark at 11pm. Thats normal, right?)

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, copy this into your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste.

If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you are on Team Damon, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that Damon Salvatore ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If the only thing you think about is the Vampire Diaries series copy and past this to your profile.

If you are in LOVE with Damon Salvatore copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think that Elena and Damon were meant to be together, copy this into your profile!

If you think Damon Salvatore is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever had a paper cut, and sucked on the blood, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Copy and paste these if you are obsessed with Damon Salvatore!!

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Will help me find my way when I'm lost.
BEST FRIENDS: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions.

FRIENDS: Will help me learn to drive.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.

FRIENDS: Will help me up when I fall down.
BEST FRIENDS: Will point and laugh because she tripped me.

FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with me.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kidnap the band with me.

FRIENDS: Hide me from the cops.
BEST FRIENDS: Are probably the reason they’re after me in the first place.

FRIENDS: Get angry at you for calling them late in the night.
BEST FRIENDS: Ask why it took so long for you to call.

FRIENDS: Wonder about your love life.
BEST FRINDS: Could blackmail you with it.

FRIENDS: Lets me make an idiot of myself in public.
BEST FRIENDS: Are up there with me making an idiot out of themselves too.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry.

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Tells you she knows how you feel.
BEST FRIENDS: Just sits down and cries.

FRIENDS: Would tell off your stalker for you.
BEST FRIENDS: Would tell you how to tease them and mess with their minds.

FRIENDS: Turn down the music when you ask them to.
BEST FRIENDS: Turn it up instead of down and smiles.

35 Things to do when your in Walmart! - UPDATED-

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

16. Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly when they take one.

17. Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price.

18. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs.

19. Start a fish-stick fight.

20. Walk up to random people, give them bear hugs, and say very loudly that you missed them and they never really did get that dandruf shampoo you recommended.

21. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!"

22. Attempt to fly off a high shelf.

23. Run up to an employee and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that girl over there" point to a random person "was just about to ask you to dinner."

24. Throw confetti on random people walking into the store.

25. Whisper "I know your 'little' secret" to people in the checkout lines.

26. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section.

27. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you away...to aisle eight..."

28. Ask the clerk to make a page saying "If there is an Edward in the store, Bella is looking for you at the main info desk".

29. See how many cans of frosting you can open and thoroughly lick without getting caught.

30. Go to a person with a shopping cart full of merchandise and demand a ride in the basket.

31. Practice your juggling with a few Grade-A eggs.

32. Squeeze the cream-filled doughnuts.

33. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back.

34. Bow to the display of T.Vs in the electronics section.

35. See if you can move the bottom can from the gigantic canned beet pyramid

79 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5. Meow occasionally.

6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.

7. Say "DING!" at each floor.

8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.

16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

21. Swat at flies that don't exist.

22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.

23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.

24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.

25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.

29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.

31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.

32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.

33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

34. Tell people that you can see their aura.

35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

38. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

39. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

40. Sell Girl Scout cookies.

41.On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

42. Shave.

43. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

44. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"

45. One word: Flatulence!

46. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

47. Do Tai Chi exercises.

48. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, darn motion sickness!"

49. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

50. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"

51. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

52. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.

53. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

54. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"

55. Leave a box between the doors.

56. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

57. Start a sing-along.

58. Play the harmonica.

59. Lean against the button panel.

60. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

61. Bring a chair along.

62. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"

63. Blow spit bubbles.

64. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

65. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

66. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at the passengers.

67. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."

68. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"

69. Bring a water pistol. Soak everyone's shoes.

70. Start brushing off invisible bugs from your arms, screaming "Aaughh! Get them off!"

71. Challenge your neighbor to a "Tic-Tac-Toe" tournament.

72. Laugh hysterically for five seconds, stop, and glare at the other passengers like they are crazy.

73. Charge into the elevator dripping wet, holding a towel and wearing only a bath robe.

74. Mutter something about how husbands/wives always come home early just when it's getting to the good part.

75. Make chalk drawings on the walls.

76. As the elevator is going up, jump violently up and down, shouting "Down! I said down, darn it!"

77. Crouch in one corner and growl menacingly at everyone who gets on.

78. Try to get a game of "Twister" going.

79. Wrinkle your nose and smell the air repeatedly. Sniff at your neighbor suspiciously, give a disgusted frown, and take a step away.

Mary-Lynette: Do I ever cross your mind?

Ash: No

Mary-Lynette: Do you like me?

Ash: No

Mary-Lynette: Do you want me?
Ash: No

Mary-Lynette: Would you cry if I left?
Ash: No

Mary-Lynette: Would you live for me?
Ash: No

Mary-Lynette: Would you do anything for me?
Ash: No

Mary-Lynette: Choose--me or your life

Ash: My life

Mary-Lynette runs away in shock and pain and Ash runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

Now isn’t that the cutest thing you've ever read! I love Mary-Lynette and Ash!

A stranger stabs you in the front
A friend stabs you in the back
A boyfriend stabs your heart
Best Friends only poke each other with straws

If you are a Vampire Addict, Copy and Paste this to your Profile

If you truely believe, there is a John Quinn or Ash Redfern or James Rasmussen or Morgead Blackthorn or a Galen Drache somewhere for you (doesn't mean his name has to be the same) copy this into your profile.

If you want to be a Wild Power, Copy and Paste this to your profile

If you LOVE JEZ REDFERN, copy and paste this to your profile

If you think LJ smith deserves More credit for her Awesome work, copy and paste this to your profile

If you Can't wait for Strange Fate, Copy and paste this to your profile

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

~If you are addicted to vampires and/or werewolves and would like to be one, copy and paste.

If you actually take the time to read other peoples profiles, copy this to yours.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing while reading a book and people looked at you weird, copy and paste this into your profile

If you really hate those e-mails that say 'Make a wish! If you don't send this to 50 people in 1 minute, it won't come true!', but still send it on anyway, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever wished a book character was real so, so, so incredibly bad, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever said a totally random comment that had nothing to do with the conversation for no reason whatsoever, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If, you've ever spent a long amount of time looking for something that you were holding/wearing, copy this into your profile

If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because you're a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with something and people have told you that you are crazy copy this to your profile.

Reality is for people who lack imagination.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

I don't forgive people because I'm weak; I forgive them because I'm strong enough to realize people make mistakes.

Friends believe in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself.

You have to take the good with the bad, smile when you're sad, love what you've got, and remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget, learn from your mistakes but never regret. People change, and things go wrong, but just remember: life goes on.

Life's too short and nothing lasts forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off, avoid the bull crap, and never have regrets, because at one point what you did was exactly what you wanted.

Sometimes you make me so mad I wanna throw you in the middle of on-going traffic; but then I realize I would probably kill myself trying to save you.

If you think Morgead Blackthorn is better than Edward Cullen, copy and paste this to your profile (Morgead is way more manly and sexier than Edward)

This story is Amazing

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back."The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."

"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous.

Join the dark side. We have cookies!

I'm not always a dork- sometimes I'm asleep

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care

Oops! I appear to have fallen on your lips

The only reason I'm here is because heaven wouldn't have me and hell was afraid I'd take over.

A good girl is just a bad girl who's never gotten caught.

Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid?

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Very few personal problems can't be solved through suitable application of high explosives.

Taste the rainbow - Eat CRAYONS!

There are three types of people: those who can count, and those who can't.

History lesson: the dinosaurs didn't go extinct, Barney came and they all committed suicide.

I ran with scissors - and lived!

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun!

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself: where the heck is my ceiling?

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself: I'm too old for glow in the dark stickers

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I'm not a complete idiot - some parts are missing.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.

I see regular people! Run for your lives!

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

A secret admirier is only a stalker with stationary.

If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!

If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete.

You say physco like it's a bad thing...

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it. She Said: You wear pants don't you?

People are like slinkies; basically useless, but ever so amusing to watch fall down the stairs.

I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.

Cute but psycho - things even out.

If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em.

Hell issued a restraining order on me...oh the fun to be had!

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me.

What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding.

If you're color blind, eating sweets must be a completely different experience. "Come on starbursts, give me red!... LEMON, DAMNIT!"

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Love your enemies. It pisses them off.

The voices in my head may not be real but they still have pretty good ideas...

Oops! Did my sarcasm hurt your feelings?

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

One day we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

I intend to live forever...so far so good

Old enough to know better, young enough to do it again

Embrace the inner rebel - don't sit up straight

Sure I have super powers! I just don't wanna show you

You're awesome... but when the zombies come, I'm tripping you

I am not weird... just plotting

I don't obsess! I think intensely!

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.

Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried to slam a revolving door

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it.

Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried.

Shit happens. But mostly to me, so don't worry.

If you think TV golf is the most boring thing on TV...Copy and paste this into your profile.

If mythical creatures exist (dragons, unicorns, phoenixes, etc.), copy this onto your profile!

- My imaginary friend thinks that you have serious problems.

- You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

- A day without light is, well, night

Ways to Annoy people at the cinema:

Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"

Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.

Clap when the good guy gets killed.

During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"

Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"

Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.

Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.

Yell out what is going to happen.

Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.

Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.

Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.

Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.

Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.

Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.

Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.

Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...)

Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.

Try to start a wave.

Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.

Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.

Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"

Sing with the theme music.

Bring and use your own air freshener.

At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."

Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.

Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.

Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.

Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"

Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.

Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.

Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.

When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"

Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.

Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"

Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.

Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.

Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat"

Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.

Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.

Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself.

Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.

Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room.


Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.

Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"

Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"

Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"

Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer's name is going to be said.

Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.

Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.

Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.

Pass by a room that's showing a movie you've already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the end.

As of this very line, I went and copied and pasted my whole profile into Word, and there are 65 pages. My goal is to get 100.

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love.

You're never alone...

there were 3girls

They were looking through peoples
MySpaces.

The girl slowly came upon this one
myspace.

It had creatures in the background and the man
looked like a psycho.

She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was.

Right then, an instant message came up.

It said:

SatanStalker: So how do u like my
MySpace??

XxLoVemExX: What??

XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway??

SatanStalker: Well, you should know;
youre looking at my MySpace right now.

XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro??

SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.

XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make
any sense, how?

SatanStalker: I just do.

Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.

Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.

At the time the girl was wearing high
shorts.

She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what
ever she could. Her and her friend started to get
worried now.

XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me.

SatanStalker: You should be afraid.

SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you
just said about me with your friend like a
minute ago.

They were in shock.

Her friend: Holy crap man just block him
hes a fcking psycho!

The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes
watching us?

SatanStalker: I am.

SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really
matter if you blocked me anyway; it wouldnt stop me
from coming to your house.

XxLoVemExX: What? My house?

SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its
not a problem.

XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out.

SatanStalker: Your screen name says
love me, trust me that wont be a problem.

SatanStalker has just signed off.

The girl and her friend were really
scared. Girls

friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone.

They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.

All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.

Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was
still in the bathroom and was wondering what was up.

She goes and knocks but no one said
anything

she opens it and finds her friend there on
the ground dead. She started to scream but when she
turned around he was there. News the next morning said that there was one girl dead in the bathroom;

her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.

If you do not repost this in the next two
minutes here will be three men, one in your
bathroom,

one in your room, and one killing your parents at that
very moment.

Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for?

Repost or you are going to die

Favorite quotes:I am the guy who came out to the entire school in his senior speech and got a standing ovation for his courage.
I am the girl who kisses her girlfriend on the sidewalk and laughs at those who glare.
We are the couple who planned and studied and got a damn good lawyer and BEAT the state that wanted to take our child away.
We are the ones who took martial arts classes and carry pepper spray and are just too dangerous to gay bash.
I am the transgender person who uses the bathroom that suits me, and demands that any complaining staff explain their complaint to my face in front of the entire restaurant--and shares with my other trans friends which restaurants don't raise a stink.
I am the mother who told her lesbian daughter to invite her girlfriend over for dinner.
I am the father who punished his son for calling you a fag.
I am the preacher who told my congregation that love, not hate, is the definition of a true follower of God.
I am the girl who did not learn the meaning of "homosexual" until high school but never thought to question why two men might be kissing.
I am the woman who argues (quite loudly and vehemently) with the bigots who insist that you do not have the right to marry or raise children.
We are the high school class who agrees, unanimously, along with our teacher, that love should be all that matters.
I am the child who was raised going to gay marriages and civil unions, becuase my parents never taught me to hate.
I am making a difference. Hate will not win if we do not let it. If you agree, repost this.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Who's been reading a bad Harry Potter Fanfiction S by Claire Violet Thorpe reviews
Full title: WHO'S BEEN READING A BAD HARRY POTTER FANFICTION STORY. Do you love reading bad fanfiction stories? Then why don't you read these random fics that butcher Harry Potter. plz read & review! No flames allowed! NOW COMPLETED!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 57 - Words: 68,082 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 3/14 - Published: 7/10/2007 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Bleeding Feathers by yaoigirl22 reviews
Sometimes Harry wished he was back in his cupbroad, locked away from the world, both muggle and wizard.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 32 - Words: 66,131 - Reviews: 1116 - Favs: 929 - Follows: 1,333 - Updated: 3/8 - Published: 10/26/2010 - Harry P.
New World, New Hopes by The.Random.Placeholder reviews
Betrayed by the Wizarding World, Harry is sentenced for execution...but the Veil isn't an execution tool. Thrust into Alagaesia, how will Harry cope with new pressures for being a Rider? Post-DH.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 52,633 - Reviews: 583 - Favs: 1,081 - Follows: 1,386 - Updated: 1/3 - Published: 11/25/2010 - Harry P.
Behind Green Eyes by AtrumMaximus reviews
REWRITE IN PROGRESS. THIS VERSION DISCONTINUED. Harry's childhood wasn't quite was everyone was led to believe. Neither was Harry. Dark!Evil!Powerful!Harry HP/LV, HP/SS,minor HP/DM, HP/LM
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 29,704 - Reviews: 259 - Favs: 432 - Follows: 629 - Updated: 9/10/2013 - Published: 4/12/2010 - Harry P.
Poisonous Kiss by enchanted nightingale reviews
When Harry frees Dobby, Lucius scares the house elf and the Savior is left alone with Lucius Malfoy in an encounter with unforeseen results. HP/LM. SLASH. Harry is underage.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 45 - Words: 102,970 - Reviews: 2184 - Favs: 2,536 - Follows: 3,125 - Updated: 8/26/2013 - Published: 5/27/2009 - Lucius M., Harry P.
Down We Fall by Redbookbluebook reviews
The paper bore a photo of a teenage boy and read, "Have You Seen This Boy?" Even faded and crumbled on the torn poster, Draco would recognize that face anywhere; it was Jacob Black. The sequel to Miserable At Best.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 15,515 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 7/2/2013 - Published: 7/9/2010 - Draco M., Jacob
Harry Cocker by Profound Yaoi reviews
Harry Potter becomes an Animagus. But things never go the way he hopes... Warnings: Snarry, slash future sex scenes, probably some course language, OOCness and AU. M for future chapters. Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of its characters.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 82,548 - Reviews: 902 - Favs: 738 - Follows: 1,077 - Updated: 6/28/2013 - Published: 8/13/2009 - Severus S., Harry P.
Molten Silver by ConstantSnow reviews
Harry uses a time turner to try and save Sirius during his sixth year. However something goes wrong, and he instead ends up in 1972. While trying to figure out what to do, he catches the silver eyes of avery familiar blond haired Slytherin. Time Trave.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 25,307 - Reviews: 290 - Favs: 734 - Follows: 1,237 - Updated: 6/10/2013 - Published: 5/2/2010 - Lucius M., Harry P.
The Truth isn't What You Think by ChaoticNightofFlames reviews
Snape is sent to check up on Harry and finds him beaten and raped by his muggle relatives. While they struggle to get through without killing each other, Harry will learn that the Dark Lord might not be what he thinks. Bad Dumbles SSHH 37 new. New Beta YAY
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 40 - Words: 76,044 - Reviews: 1787 - Favs: 1,486 - Follows: 2,062 - Updated: 5/22/2013 - Published: 9/23/2007 - Harry P., Severus S.
Awoken Instincts by Shadow-Ravin reviews
Being rewritten! (HPLMTMR, slash, noncon, child abuse, Veela, Dark! but not Evil! Voldemort, Evil!Dumbledore) Dumbledore tried to raise Harry to hate his mates. He failed. Now Harry, Lucuis, and Voldemort will stop at nothing to get their revenge and their happily-ever-after.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,003 - Reviews: 267 - Favs: 486 - Follows: 783 - Updated: 5/2/2013 - Published: 11/5/2007 - Harry P., Voldemort, Lucius M.
Connected by crazi4thecullens reviews
What if it were Jared who was captured instead of Melanie? Roles are reversed and lives are changed forever...
Host - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 20,631 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 79 - Updated: 3/26/2013 - Published: 3/22/2010 - Jared H., Ian O.
Born Again by Valinda Blade reviews
Harry receives a letter from someone unexpected before his birthday. But what does it mean, and how does it change his life?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 15,484 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 330 - Follows: 568 - Updated: 3/10/2013 - Published: 9/4/2010 - Harry P., Severus S., Lucius M.
It's All Start In Christmas by Faz3 G reviews
It's Christmas time and Harry still believe in Santa Claus. What did he ask for his present? Yaoi and Rated M for the sex scene, so if you don't like yaoi, please don't read it.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 16 - Words: 39,664 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 3/9/2013 - Published: 6/23/2010 - Harry P., Severus S.
The Dark Side of Puppy Love by yamiyugi23 reviews
What do you get with a nice Death Eater Aunt Marge, a drunken Mad-Eye, a puppy eared and tail Harry and a Death Eater whose scared of the dark? The answer this fic! DomVoldermort/SubPuppyHarry YAOI! Is an AU fic with OOC characters! Completed.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 34,594 - Reviews: 366 - Favs: 646 - Follows: 531 - Updated: 10/10/2012 - Published: 7/16/2010 - Voldemort, Harry P. - Complete
Paralyzed by SasunaruTLA reviews
Draco has moved to America with Lucius to escape Voldemort.He is in disguise as a sick boy in a wheelchair,a very large blow to his pride but he does it.Jacob never thought he'd imprint,especially on another boy in a wheelchair...Slash.MpregMaybe
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 79,960 - Reviews: 750 - Favs: 467 - Follows: 713 - Updated: 10/4/2012 - Published: 6/24/2010 - Draco M., Jacob
Curiosity killed te cat by Leedalolita reviews
Harry tries out is animangus form for the first time and not all turns out like planned. Voldemort/Harry
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 10,317 - Reviews: 222 - Favs: 555 - Follows: 747 - Updated: 9/13/2012 - Published: 6/1/2010 - Harry P., Voldemort
I'm in love with Harry Potter? by AmuPotterKuranNarutoCullen reviews
Snape is deaged to a 16 year old and when Slytherin is deemed to DANGEROUS he gets stuck with the 'Golden Trio". WHat happens when he finds out about Harry's love for him and will he find "The Chosen One" like everyone else or will he find "Harry"? SLASH!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,535 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 107 - Updated: 7/5/2012 - Published: 1/23/2010 - Harry P., Severus S.
The trials and tribulations of Harry James Potter by sev'slittleangel reviews
HARRY IS A MAGICAL CREATURE AND HE HAS FOUND HIS MATE IN NO OTHER THEN SEVERUS SNAPE OF ALL PEOPLE
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,318 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 3/26/2012 - Published: 7/19/2010 - Severus S., Harry P.
Unexpected Love by callmebirdie reviews
Harry is dropped into the world of Eragon. the pair meet up and help save both their worlds. is there love blooming? yes and even a lemon to prove it. it is guy loves guy so if you don't like that, don't read.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Inheritance Cycle - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 21 - Words: 24,517 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 87 - Updated: 2/28/2012 - Published: 6/29/2010 - Harry P., Eragon S. - Complete
Less Than Perfect by cullengirl808 reviews
With the House of Night vamps trying to complete their change, can they overcome their problems and open up? Possibly to the people who they thought would be the last person to even talk to. Main paring: Stevie Rae and Aphrodite. I own nothing.
House of Night - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 6,542 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 11/22/2011 - Published: 3/8/2011 - Stevie Rae J., Aphrodite L.
Precipitate by Actus Reus reviews
Harry is a nobody: he has no fortune, no connections, no parents. He doesn’t excel in his studies, nor is he talented in Quidditch. There is nothing about him that would cause anyone to give him a second glance. Until he’s bitten by a vampire. LV/HP.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 24,894 - Reviews: 345 - Favs: 871 - Follows: 1,403 - Updated: 11/21/2011 - Published: 3/5/2010 - Harry P., Voldemort
Basic Wants by Dinkel reviews
Sequel to Basic Needs, which starts where that left off: in Azkaban. But the world is changing rapidly, Voldemort is ready to make his final move, the Ministry and the Order are desperate, Harry had about enough & Fenrir really doesn't like that attitude.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 55 - Words: 269,911 - Reviews: 1458 - Favs: 704 - Follows: 551 - Updated: 10/3/2011 - Published: 7/18/2010 - Fenrir G., Harry P. - Complete
Camouflage Dragon by CrimsonLuna reviews
Will finds a stone on his way to Halt's cabin, and brings it with him. What is in store for him? And soon, Eragon the dragon rider, Saphira the dragon, Arya the elf, and the witch Angela and her cat Solumbum. come to Araluan. Why, find out! Review please
Crossover - Inheritance Cycle & Ranger's Apprentice - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,002 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 73 - Updated: 7/13/2011 - Published: 10/30/2010 - Eragon S., Will
Together by SerialAuthor reviews
They just want to be together. Edward/Jacob Yaoi Homosexuals Gay Hard to explain. Sorry.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,202 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 7/2/2011 - Published: 8/22/2010 - Edward, Jacob - Complete
The envelope by bezznaczenia reviews
Kibum shouldn't be so nosy...Story about all consequences of poking around 2MIN, R to NC-17
Misc. Plays/Musicals - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,194 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/6/2011
Beautiful Disaster by Meganlovesjb reviews
Darkness returns to collect the debt that Stevie Rae had left unpaid. But what happens when the only person that could ever save her, the one who was constantly saving her, isn't there anymore? A House of Night one shot; takes place after Burned.
House of Night - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 13,394 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 5/29/2011 - Published: 6/2/2010 - Stevie Rae J., Rephaim - Complete
The kinks for starters by SSOTVDG reviews
Harry's had a long day... and not being able to go to hogsmade makes it all the more worse...but a good shower could fix averything, right? SLASH multi-chapter now. Drama to come?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,836 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 4/7/2011 - Published: 5/19/2010 - Severus S., Harry P.
Crazy Inheritance by arashi wolf princess reviews
Harry found himself hating his sixteenth birthday after a small surprise of a creature inheritance. To say he's please to find himself looking for his mate and having a body guard thanks to a minor problem. Full summary inside, gift fic to kat100666.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,889 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 412 - Follows: 667 - Updated: 3/25/2011 - Published: 7/27/2010 - Lucius M., Harry P.
Fallon Farran Academy by Shadow-Ravin reviews
Harry is sick of his life. He isn't who everyone thinks he is and he will prove it. New school, future slash, creature!Harry, child abuse, rape. Starts summer after 4th year. Rewritten see Fallon Farran Academy V3
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 9,012 - Reviews: 192 - Favs: 331 - Follows: 506 - Updated: 3/4/2011 - Published: 4/5/2010 - Harry P., Severus S.
It's Just a Phase by KissingFire reviews
All human. He was gay, trapped in a world of homophobia. He came along, a knight in leather and glitter, and saved him.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,038 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 107 - Follows: 16 - Published: 2/19/2011 - Alec L., Magnus B. - Complete
Murtagh and the Olympians by jamsat reviews
Murtagh comes into the Olympians world, and he is more than they can understand. first chapter is exposition, but it gets pretty raunchy after that. Very Hot. I do not own, control, or have rights to Percy Jackson and the Olympians, nor do I own, control, or hold rights to the Inheritance Cycle.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,561 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 2/2/2011 - Published: 2/12/2010
Something to Live For by Incessant MoonyLicious Funtime reviews
Harry goes through a metamorphisis that changes his life forever. How will his supposed "greatest enemy" react? Warnings: Self mutilation, slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 3,205 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 79 - Updated: 1/30/2011 - Published: 7/18/2010 - Harry P., Voldemort
VoldieKitty by YaoiRules92 reviews
"I am going to kill him for this! Being my second in command be damned!" thought a tiny little white kitten with scarlet eyes. But all those thoughts vanish when a certain green eyed boy begins to stroke him and he begins to purr loudly.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 84,683 - Reviews: 225 - Favs: 452 - Follows: 482 - Updated: 12/30/2010 - Published: 5/28/2010 - Harry P., Voldemort
Crack Playthrough by RiderlessWolf reviews
The beginning of Link's journey. Who knew he was such a snarky prick?
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,845 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 12/17/2010 - Published: 10/10/2010 - Link, Midna
Loving The Enemy by HeCalledHerCass reviews
What will happen when Jacob imprints on EDWARD? Setting is in Eclipse
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 12,014 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 12/11/2010 - Published: 4/7/2010 - Jacob, Edward
Every Day is a Struggle by Music596 reviews
When Severus buys a certain boy, everything in his life goes haywire. AU and SSxHP Warnings: Slash and smut!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 33 - Words: 53,538 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 146 - Follows: 87 - Updated: 12/8/2010 - Published: 4/20/2010 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
What if by Toru887 reviews
What if Link and Dark Link got together? What if? Contains yaoi. LinkXDark Link. Don't like don't read Rated M for a reason
Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,996 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 14 - Published: 11/28/2010 - Link, Dark Link - Complete
Green Eyes by HobbleFoot.11 reviews
Lucius is looking for a partner in bed, Albus is looking for a saviour, Lily and James for their long lost son and Tom for the prophesized child. Now meet Hayden Montgomery... full summary inside. AU, no Voldemort, no BWL, slash, attempted rape. R & R
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,297 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 197 - Updated: 11/20/2010 - Published: 8/1/2010 - Harry P., Lucius M.
Jade Green Eyes by Jendra reviews
Harry found a way to hide from a world that wanted too much from him. Crossdressing, Harry/Lucius slash Sequel to Mythic Alliance don't need to read it first
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 28 - Words: 157,591 - Reviews: 351 - Favs: 1,040 - Follows: 365 - Updated: 11/11/2010 - Published: 8/10/2010 - Harry P., Lucius M. - Complete
Life with Magnus by Casper the unfriendly ghost reviews
magnus/alec After Magnus' party, Alec rejects his family and gets hurt fighting three demons on his own. Magnus finds him and takes him in.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,094 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 11/6/2010 - Published: 11/3/2010 - Alec L., Magnus B.
You Lost Me by Vampirewizardlvr reviews
Edward Cullen returns to Forks after leaving Harry Potter, only he's unaware that Harry left. Harry Potter returns to finish High School, will the two of them work out their differences. Starts out as Snarry, ends in HP/SS/EC threesome.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 8 - Words: 15,405 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 193 - Follows: 308 - Updated: 10/30/2010 - Published: 6/21/2010 - Harry P., Edward
My Sweet Bleeding Rose by yaoigirl22 reviews
During his summer before fifth year, Harry gets a letter, now he the mate of three deatheaters. This year at Hogwarts is going to be very intresting. Pairings: SS/HP/DM/LM RW/HG FW/GW RL/SB, Has been rewritten!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 28,342 - Reviews: 680 - Favs: 715 - Follows: 863 - Updated: 10/26/2010 - Published: 5/31/2008 - Severus S., Harry P.
Gasper by Fifi McFu reviews
Naruto and Sasuke test out a more dangerous fetish of theirs. NaruSasu
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,170 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 9 - Published: 9/16/2010 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
With Time Comes Change by Menchi-kun reviews
Post OoTP Animagus!Harry Harry is alone for a weekend and runs into not so friendly neighbors. Being shot and changing leads to interesting interventions. Snarry. Don't like keep it moving then!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,810 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 140 - Updated: 9/12/2010 - Published: 5/28/2010 - Harry P., Severus S.
Careful With the Human by Madame Xela reviews
Just a Day in the life of Edward and his mates. SLASH EC/EmC/HP
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,888 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 311 - Follows: 206 - Updated: 9/11/2010 - Published: 9/30/2009 - Harry P., Emmett - Complete
Just the Same by A Risened Cadence reviews
I attempted to twist Edward to a lover of a reincarnated version of our Bella. It's short. Deal with it.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 315 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/10/2010 - Edward
Taming the Beast Within by Randomonia21 reviews
DomFG/SubHp: Fenrir rescues Harry but Harry's scared stiff. Can he tame Fenrir's wild beast? Or will he become a creature of the night himself?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,877 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 246 - Follows: 447 - Updated: 9/6/2010 - Published: 4/20/2010 - Fenrir G., Harry P.
A Mirror Image by Elijah Alexander Jones reviews
City of Glass, starting at page 421 in the book, from Alec's point of view. It goes through the entirety of the book as well as after. Pairing: Alec/Magnus, Slash. Rated M for language and sexual themes. Mortal Instrument's belongs to Cassandra Clare.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 13,358 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 9/5/2010 - Published: 5/16/2010 - Alec L., Magnus B.
Sweet Love by CrimsonRose18 reviews
Slash! LM/HP/SS MPreg warning! Harry has something important to tell his Lovers, an they handle it? On Hold at the moment. I'm rewritting it.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,886 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 169 - Follows: 211 - Updated: 9/1/2010 - Published: 7/23/2010 - Lucius M., Harry P.
Wolf in the Wild by Mariel Nightstalker reviews
Getting lost in the woods leads to an interesting development. SLASH Fenrir/Harry
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,482 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 838 - Follows: 86 - Published: 8/28/2010 - Harry P., Fenrir G. - Complete
For One Night by Kaishiru reviews
Naruto returns to Konoha after two and a half years of training with Jiraiya and his mind is on Sasuke. He's regretted not telling him his true feelings. The aching hole in his heart still lingers... My 1st lemon. R&R. No flames...
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,704 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/28/2010 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Feelings and Other Usless things by MiMiReiDoMi reviews
When Naruto confesses to Sasuke, he gets rejected. What happens when Naruto started to cut himself and nearly dies? WARNING: Some suicidle actions. MxM
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,164 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 8/27/2010 - Published: 5/17/2010 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
The Final Fight by Emo Dragon 7 reviews
Sasuke finally comes back. Naruto's dying to punch him. Who will get the last laugh NOW? This is SASUNARU. Of course, rated M.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,203 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/26/2010 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
New by LadyVaderWrites reviews
Another New Year's fic I like to write on holidays :P - It's nearly midnight on New Years Eve and Draco Malfoy's stuck in a cupboard with Harry bloody Potter.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,908 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 186 - Follows: 10 - Published: 8/23/2010 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Pictures says it all by papuruakuma reviews
One day Kakashi come to a meeting with team 7 and with him he has a very interesting picture... What's Naruto going to do when Sasuke discovers new feelings..?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 14,200 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 8/22/2010 - Published: 3/16/2010 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
An Invitation to Seduction by Keikokin reviews
When Harry decides to flirt with none other than Lucius Malfoy he receives and invitation to seduction. COMPLETE SLASH MPREG OOC FLUFF
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 60,219 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 527 - Follows: 81 - Published: 8/21/2010 - Harry P., Lucius M. - Complete
Betrayal by Death'sAngel18 reviews
Harry at the abusive Dursley's is saved by the most unexpected person, Voldemort.Now instead of being a prisoner Voldemort gives him a fancy room and doesn't kill him? And what's this talk of powers hidden by a certain headmaster?SLASH DRACO/HARRY
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,430 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 138 - Follows: 230 - Updated: 8/21/2010 - Published: 2/15/2010 - Harry P., Voldemort
What Bothers Me by Blossoming Nightshade reviews
Harry is given detention after being late to Snape's class. much smuttiness ensues. One-Shot. Rated M for a reason people. I figure its sometime in sixth year
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,585 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 14 - Published: 8/18/2010 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Pool Table by bumaddyangel reviews
He only ment to show him the bathroom nothing more. But the blonde hair and blue eyes were too much.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,688 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/15/2010 - Published: 8/14/2010 - Naruto U., Kakashi H. - Complete
From Darkness Emerges by Herald-MageAnduli reviews
COMPLETE AU Dark!Powerful!Harry. OOC Alert! At the end of 6th year, Harry comes into a creature inheritance. The wizarding world heads into war as he begins 7th year & nobody expects him to be Dark. Along with a powerful and surprising family, he brings around a new era to the wizarding population. SLASH LuciusxHarry CHAR. DEATHS Dumbledore!Weasley!Hermione!bashing (mild)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 38,971 - Reviews: 486 - Favs: 1,599 - Follows: 722 - Updated: 8/12/2010 - Published: 2/10/2010 - Harry P., Lucius M. - Complete
Care to Dance by Nataku-sensei reviews
i started writing this at 10pm and finished at 5 am. couldn't stop. celebrating ones birthday alone is not what our dear Potion Master thought what he wanted. who would of thought a drink at a bar would bring much happiness. HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 13,701 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 8/5/2010 - Published: 6/26/2010 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
My Cullen by StormyFireDragon reviews
Fifth year is done. Albus offers Harry and Draco an escape and the boys take it. They head to the town of Forks where Harry meets the love of his life. SLASH! This is a Harry and Edward story. Don't like same sex pairings? then I'm probably not an author that you want to read my works as all of my stories but a couple are same sex pairings.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 25 - Words: 115,903 - Reviews: 601 - Favs: 783 - Follows: 355 - Updated: 8/5/2010 - Published: 6/11/2010 - Harry P., Edward - Complete
Love Ridden by Vampirewizardlvr reviews
It's a Snarry that's loosely based on my ex-relatinoship. Severus and Harry break up in the middle of his seventh year but they still have to see each other in class, detention, in the Great Hall, and in the spindly halls of Hogwarts at night. 1/51.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,285 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 9 - Published: 7/29/2010 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Fearless? Not so much by DiaryofSomeone reviews
What if the fearless rune worked a little too well. And instead of coming out to his parents, Alec tells Jace how he really feels about him well actually shows Jace how he feels about him
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,038 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 28 - Published: 7/22/2010 - Alec L., Jace W.
Basic Needs by Dinkel reviews
Eventually, the constant denial of the essentials, such as sleep, water, food and human contact, got to everyone in Azkaban, even the infamous Fenrir Greyback. However, one full moon and an unexpected visitor might just change everything... HPFG, SLASH
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 26,098 - Reviews: 382 - Favs: 1,460 - Follows: 339 - Updated: 7/22/2010 - Published: 7/13/2008 - Harry P., Fenrir G. - Complete
Miserable at Best by Redbookbluebook reviews
Jacob has run away, and he finds himself in the Forbidden Forest. He narrowly escapes, and who should find him but Draco Malfoy... "In their midst was a person with darkened skin; his black hair fell in his eyes. He was also naked...Bloody Hufflepuffs."
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,789 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 7/9/2010 - Published: 12/24/2009 - Draco M., Jacob - Complete
Life of a Neko by WantonWitch reviews
HP/LM/SS, story about a Neko, Veela and Vampire coming together despite past problems, not always a sweet romance..same as on AFF! my acount there doesn't work anymore! I have a Beta, who started working from the 16th chapter, so dont quit after the first
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 18 - Words: 22,754 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 186 - Updated: 7/5/2010 - Published: 7/4/2008 - Harry P., Lucius M.
As the Darkness Clears by ThisRisingMusic reviews
Harry returns the summer after his fifth year to discover the Dursley's are no longer afraid of him. What happens when their abuse goes too far, and Harry ends up permanently blind?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 15,089 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 338 - Follows: 505 - Updated: 7/3/2010 - Published: 6/28/2010 - Harry P., Voldemort
Dont' forget me by Childofthesand reviews
Michael and Shane are getting closer then they would like.but they cant stop.but Michael isnt the only one hiding his true self from the world.Shane is holding a back a secret himself.but when someone find out that secret.They leave Shane with no choice
Morganville Vampires - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 843 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 7/2/2010 - Published: 7/1/2010 - Michael G., Shane C.
Harry's Tattoo by whoriartywrites reviews
Professor Snape is called from the dungeons at a late hour to handle a very unusual matter. Rated T for some swearing and nakedness and preslash. HarrySnape.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,289 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 6/28/2010 - Published: 3/28/2006 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Wizard of Oz by Vampirewizardlvr reviews
Cross-dressing, sex, lions, scarecrows, o my! Meet Harry Potter!Dorothy as he enters a strange world filled with house-elves, sexy tinmen, and dark wizards! Parody of the Wizard of Oz, I NEED A BETA!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,391 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 6/20/2010 - Published: 7/31/2009 - Harry P., Draco M.
Hating Life by writer-person-thingy reviews
Bella gets sucked into a horrible life she never thought of having, but is suddenly rescued by a man she is destined to hate. Or is she? A dark story in New Moon, hopefully sad. I know, I can't write happy. Rape, torture, eventual lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 379 - Reviews: 152 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 122 - Updated: 6/16/2010 - Published: 11/23/2009 - Bella, Felix
Obsession Leads to What Now? by kusuko reviews
Harry is of age, he becomes richer, more beautiful, powerful and oblivious. And our beloved Dark Lord finds himself infatuated with the power he sees. Warning: SLOW BUILD UP of harry/voldie. story gets better as it progresses.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 12,417 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 203 - Updated: 6/12/2010 - Published: 1/22/2010 - Harry P., Voldemort
life is worth livinga second chance is giving by Nataku-sensei reviews
This is the complete story of a second chance in life. hope you like it and please REVIEW!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,640 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Published: 6/8/2010 - Sirius B., Severus S. - Complete
Fight Or Flight by waywardvictorian reviews
Fight or flight: the body's natural reaction to conflict. Fight, if you can win, flight if you can't. Simple. Harry thought that his brain must have been wired wrong. Lucius was always an exception. Pairing: Lucius/Harry
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,663 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 12 - Published: 6/8/2010 - Lucius M., Harry P. - Complete
After Dinner by WithDemonWings reviews
Professor Malfoy would like to speak with Professor Potter after dinner. Professor Potter can't wait. Slight AU, post-war, slash, smut.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,702 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 226 - Follows: 34 - Published: 5/26/2010 - Lucius M., Harry P. - Complete
Improvisation by used romance reviews
DRABBLE The problem with improvisation is that you need to move when the music does. You don’t waltz to swing, and you sure as hell don’t head towards your last one-night stand when you see him on some blond man’s arm.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,178 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/10/2010 - Harry P., Lucius M. - Complete
Family is Everything ALTERNATIVE VERSION by moondancer7825 reviews
The war is over and Harry is starting his life with Severus and Lucius. The arrival of his godson changes things causing him to flee the country. This is an alternative to my original story line. BRIEF HP/SS/LM, HP/SS. AU/OOC MPREG
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 33,643 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 182 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 5/4/2010 - Published: 4/20/2010 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Quality Time by AtrumMaximus reviews
Harry did get to spend some quality time with Siríus after all. Just not quite the way he had imagined. WARNING man-on-man sex, innouendo and silliness!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,832 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 160 - Follows: 24 - Published: 4/25/2010 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
Why Him? by indiefaggot reviews
There is defenitely a lack of these! Michael hid his feelings well but will a confrontation throw that all away. Sorry If You don't like the story but I thought I'd have a crack at something more than a one shot again. Now M Rated, slightly. R&R
Morganville Vampires - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,626 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 4/22/2010 - Published: 2/27/2010 - Michael G., Shane C.
Something's Wrong With Harry fixed by Blossoming Nightshade reviews
Remus and Sirius discuss what could be wrong with Harry, and Severus knows but he's not telling. Second Chapter contains deliciously graphic SiriXHarry
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,649 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/7/2010 - Complete
Harry's Rescue by Blossoming Nightshade reviews
Harry is rescued from his abusive Uncle's house by Remus. Feelings are revealed and love is found. One-shot. This is a Remus/Harry, contains mention of rape and cutting. Ye have been warned.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,686 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 17 - Published: 3/15/2010 - Harry P., Remus L. - Complete
Magic Moment by ariviand reviews
Alec and Magnus, several months post-City of Glass. The "magic moment" we've all been waiting for. Rated M for mmmmm, it's about time. Lemony fresh.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 59,890 - Reviews: 556 - Favs: 455 - Follows: 276 - Updated: 3/14/2010 - Published: 10/18/2009 - Alec L., Magnus B.
Death Cannot Stop True Love by Blossoming Nightshade reviews
A Tragic story of suicide. Better than it sounds-though very depressing CHAR DEATH! Not meant to offend, don't like, don't read. ONE-SHOT! set after the death of Voldemort, Harry goes back to Hogwarts to complete his 7th year.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,332 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/19/2010 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
In Your Arms: Will and Halt by desertwolf4 reviews
Will is used to Halt's personality. He's use to him being annoyed at too many questions and the occasional cold attitude towards him. But Halt changed and is completely ignoring Will, and is desperate for Will not to learn the truth. Will/Halt Slash
Ranger's Apprentice - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 7,097 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 2/3/2010 - Published: 5/5/2009 - Halt, Will - Complete
Tripolar Is Not A Word by Lady Of The Semicolons reviews
One of these days, Zant is going to drive himself insane. Well, that's what you get for having multiple personalities. Very, very random.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 851 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 21 - Published: 1/31/2010 - Zant - Complete
Near To You by Twilighters13 reviews
Edward left Bella for another vampire. The Volturi change her and she joins them. She falls in love with Felix but when the Cullens come back, chaos breaks out. Will their love make it through? Lemons in later chapters!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 24,084 - Reviews: 622 - Favs: 582 - Follows: 542 - Updated: 12/31/2009 - Published: 4/10/2009 - Bella, Felix
Finally Found by Shadow-Ravin reviews
vamp Harry, eventual slash, evil Mione and Dumbles, takes place instead of HBP Harry is claimed by a vampire, but Dumbledore tries to keep the apart. Temp haitus
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 2,868 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 179 - Follows: 250 - Updated: 10/17/2009 - Published: 10/25/2007 - Harry P., OC
Courting a Mate by BonneNuit reviews
FenrirxHarry When Fenrir and the Death Eaters attack the Burrow, Fenrir kidnaps Harry and attempts to court him. Harry isn’t amused. Contains sex, violence and cursing. No underage readers. I've read the books but it's based off the movie scene.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,258 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 826 - Follows: 260 - Updated: 10/5/2009 - Published: 9/22/2009 - Fenrir G., Harry P. - Complete
Wounds that just won't heal by Chibi Tsuki Hikari reviews
Harry's cutting himself, is sexually confused, and he's having suicidal thoughts. Three new transfer students with a hidden agenda will make this year very mischievous. Creature Heritage, Eventually SSHP and MPREG ****ON HOLD****
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,764 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 209 - Updated: 9/18/2009 - Published: 3/16/2006 - Harry P., Severus S.
Inheritance by Shadow-Ravin reviews
HPTR slash creature fic Vamp Harry and Voldie ignores DH and end of HBP At the age of 17 Harry comes to his inheritance as a vampire and finds out Dumbledore has lied to him.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 3,603 - Reviews: 173 - Favs: 228 - Follows: 364 - Updated: 9/7/2009 - Published: 9/23/2007 - Harry P., Voldemort
Hogwarts Revisited by ssnapelover reviews
Harry returns to Hogwarts after the Great War against the Dark Lord and is troubled by memories of a dark secret between him and Severus Snape. Warning: slash Harry/Snape, Lucius/Snape , abuse no details
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,200 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 7 - Published: 8/15/2009 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
Crimson Silver Dragon HP PWP 18 by CrisNoWait reviews
Summary: When a spell to break curses fails, Snape must seek out an old friend for assistance. Three-some Severus/Lucius/Harry PWP Warning Slash/Male x Male
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,887 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 10 - Published: 6/26/2009 - Severus S., Lucius M. - Complete
Of Mirkwood Princes and Wretched Teases by ArwendeImladris reviews
Slash. In my story Of Rohirric Kings and Pleasurable Nymphs, Harry tells Eomer that Legolas was the one to tie him to the bed...this is the story behind that comment. Warning: Loads of hot UST
Crossover - Harry Potter & Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,991 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 29 - Published: 4/15/2009 - Harry P., Legolas - Complete
Princes Do Not Share by ArwendeImladris reviews
Series of oneshots exploring Harry's possible relationships with various possessive princes. Slash. New chapter - Eomer/Harry. King Eomer of Rohan has been ignoring his lover, of late. Harry shows him just what he has been missing.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,554 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 277 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 4/14/2009 - Published: 4/13/2009 - Harry P., Legolas - Complete
Sex is Better Then Making Brownies by MicrowaveWindows reviews
Jace and Alec are making brownies and one thing leads to another.... ;D You catch my drift. Hardcore SLASH, MxM, JacexAlec pairing. don't like that? Then don't read it. Kay?
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,899 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 20 - Published: 4/11/2009 - Alec L., Jace W. - Complete
Kill Bella Chronicles I by Vampirewizardlvr reviews
I HATE BELLA! I really do, so read this. If you love Bella, flame, If you hate Bella too, praise, If you like Bella but really don't take it seriously, review. Just read the Introduction...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 946 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/20/2009 - Bella - Complete
Metamorphosis by blueeyesandliterature reviews
Brom idolized Morzan. Morzan was aware of this and took advantage of Brom's devotion in a hundred different ways." Their relationship was never meant to last. BromMorzan SLASH LEMONS
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,260 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/12/2009 - [Brom, Morzan] - Complete
Mate by janecanblog reviews
Draco is a vampire, and he's searching for his mate.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,214 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 197 - Follows: 43 - Published: 10/9/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
To Live a Forgotten Dream by BladeMaxwell-GoddessofDeath reviews
Harry's abused. Snape finds out. Slash later HPSSDM Dark not evil Harry! AU
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,896 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 250 - Follows: 400 - Updated: 8/26/2008 - Published: 1/15/2007 - Harry P., Severus S.
Sunshine after the storm by WantonWitch reviews
HP/SS What happens when Severus catches Harry using drugs? Add a bit of a meddling old fool and...you already guessed it. It's a cliché mixed with my own little twist
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,198 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 8/4/2008 - Published: 7/6/2008 - Harry P., Severus S.
The Claiming: Found by Shadow-Ravin reviews
HPTR slash. Harry is abandoned by his relatives right before his 17th birthday. What is he supposed to do now? Temp hiatus
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,687 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 163 - Updated: 5/12/2008 - Published: 8/16/2007 - Harry P., Voldemort
The Waffle by Bella Leux Bazireth reviews
This is highly perverted, manicdepressive, insane, giddy, romantic, you'll love it, don't question it, and read it.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 314 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 4 - Published: 11/26/2007 - Artemis F. - Complete
Eternity by That-Fresh-Rain-Smell reviews
The scars tell a story. Snarry Oneshot Angst CharacterDeath.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,168 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/27/2007 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
The MirrorBlue Night by Blinded Moon reviews
Blaise Zabini feels like he's hit bottom. Can Draco Malfoy help or is he part of the problem? Warnings: selfmutilation, slash, angst, broom closet snogging. You have been warned. Songfic to The MirrorBlue Night from Spring Awakening.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,465 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/16/2007 - Blaise Z., Draco M. - Complete
Sins of the Son by PeopleBoreMe reviews
Harry wears a skirt. Draco loves it. HPDM. [warnings: slash, smut, crossdressing]
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,715 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 216 - Follows: 22 - Published: 11/29/2006 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Reversed by Ze Blemmye reviews
Cedric Diggory has never wanted to destroy something so badly. CedricDraco. Noncon. Much OOCness.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,531 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 14 - Published: 10/17/2006 - Cedric D., Draco M. - Complete
Heroin by PeopleBoreMe reviews
Severus always took Harry's pain away, whether he wanted to or not. HPSS Oneshot. [warnings: slash, smut, drug abuse, mentions of mpreg]
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,974 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 21 - Published: 8/18/2006 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Caeruleus by Pagan Strega reviews
A Transfiguration accident leaves Harry in unusual circumstances. How will Snape react? SSHP of course. Creature Fic
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,387 - Reviews: 256 - Favs: 2,015 - Follows: 278 - Published: 7/24/2006 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Nice going, Pothead by Willowbooks reviews
COMPLETE Harry & Draco get stuck in a closet. All dialogue. Slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,643 - Reviews: 213 - Favs: 248 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 2/3/2006 - Published: 11/21/2005 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
So Much More by quixotic-hope reviews
Growing up, Harry was told he'd only be good for sex. What happens when Severus wants more? HPSS oneshot, noncon, child abuse, angst, romance
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,091 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 380 - Follows: 39 - Published: 11/11/2005 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Prisoner of Love by LupinFan227 reviews
While Blaise Zabini is under house arrest with Ron Weasley, it is the young Auror who finds himself held captive by his own emotions toward the former Death Eater. This is the behind the scenes to Propensity.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,494 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/17/2004 - Ron W., Blaise Z. - Complete
Gone by Lenora reviews
Lucius Malfoy's heart left him twelve years ago, so how do the two react when meeting again? SLASH! COMPLETE! MPREG!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 16,074 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 191 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 12/5/2003 - Published: 10/23/2003 - Harry P., Lucius M. - Complete
Harry Pothead and the Philosopher's Stoned by Heero 195 reviews
Some Pretty weird stuff, Harry gets high and Snape can't Skateboard.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 492 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/1/2002
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Would You? reviews
Songfic, one-shot. Letter from one of my OCs to the love of his life.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 551 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/21/2011 - Complete
Something to Live For reviews
Harry goes through a metamorphisis that changes his life forever. How will his supposed "greatest enemy" react? Warnings: Self mutilation, slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 3,205 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 79 - Updated: 1/30/2011 - Published: 7/18/2010 - Harry P., Voldemort
Bella Swan, Expert Witch reviews
What would change if Bella was a witch? If she fell out of love with Edward? Found someone else? Sorry, I'm bad at summaries.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,242 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 140 - Updated: 1/30/2011 - Published: 6/21/2010 - Severus S., Bella
Forever and a Day reviews
The ruminations of Forvian Armaldra, from the time of her change to the moment she met...him. Prolouge is short, but the rest will be longer, I promise. Murtagh x OC
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,537 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 1/29/2011 - Published: 1/17/2011 - Murtagh
Random Thoughts reviews
I felt like killing Bella. Here this is, now. Rated M to be safe, but only for gory descriptions.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 402 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/9/2010 - Published: 7/3/2010 - Bella
Give Peace a Chance reviews
My friend who doesn't have an account, so I posted this for her. She has very strong views about world peace. This, I know, is a good category for that. So, here you go.
Schooled, Gordon Korman - Rated: K - English - Spiritual/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 234 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 8/1/2010 - Complete
I Met Myself Today reviews
This just came to me randomly. Sorry if I butcher the characters. I don't care though, not really.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 290 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 7/3/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
TwentyFive reviews
Just a quick one-shot with Stark and Damon. Rated M to be safe. I have a poll up as to whether I should continue it.
Crossover - House of Night & Vampire Diaries - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 879 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/29/2010 - J. Stark, Damon S. - Complete