Harvey the Wonder Hamster
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Joined 06-16-10, id: 2407156, Profile Updated: 04-10-14
Author has written 7 stories for Transformers, Death Note, Harry Potter, Twilight, Glee, and Superman.

[insert unusual greeting here]

[insert clever original phrase here]

[insert funny phrase here]


Name: Begins with a silent 5, but you can call me "The Supreme Ruler of the Universe."

Last name: Begins with a letter

Age: somewhere between 12-25

Reside: Somewhere in the foreign, mysterious land of Pennslyvania

Hobbies: I take karate(Don't piss me off), like to read, collects quotes, and am taking el espanol.

Dislikes: Running into walls(despite what you might think, it hurts), elk, and quite a few people I go to school with.

Problems: ...let's not go into that.

Favorite animal: Chickens(they taste so good)

Gender: Well, I'm not male or an alien...

Random rambling:Well, I have a few pet peeves. People not using capitalisation. C'mon people, we learn that in first grade. People not using quotation marks or using script form when writing a story. Are you really that lazy or what? Incorrect, and by this I mean WAYYY incorrect grammar. I get enough of that at home.

My wall of quotes(Literally, I tape them to my wall.)

There's a clock on the wall and it's measuring down, the time you have left till you're dust on the ground. The people you love, with the time you got, determine whether you're remembered or not.

Misa: I can't imagine a world without Light

L: Yes, that would be dark.

I am a teenager so I must have stereotypes.

He doesn't know the meaning of the word 'fear', but then again, he doesn't know the meaning of most words.

Life is like a foreign language, all men mispronounce it.

Everyone is entitled to your own opinion.

It's just that your is stupid.

All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; The old that are strong does not whither, deep roots are not reached by frost.

From the ashes a fire shall woken, a light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shalled be blade that was broken, the crownless again shall be king.


RANDOM PICK-UP LINES

"Baby, you're so beautiful I forgot my pick-up line."

"I lost my child. Can I spank you?"(I give credit to Jen for this one...it was pretty funny.)

So, besides being sexy, what do you do?"

"Can I borrow a quarter?" "Why?" "I want to call my mom and tell her I've met the most beautiful man alive."

"I lost my teddy-bear. Can I cuddle with you?"

"Smoking's bad for your health and baby you're killing me."

"Do you have a identical twin brother?" "No...?" "Then you must be the hottest man in the world."


F in Exams(The Very Best Totally Wrong Test Answers(Disclaimer))

Q:Summarize the major events in the Cold War.

A: It started off by someone throwing an ice cream and someone threw a popsicle back.

Q:Claire used good body language at a job interview. Can you think of three example of good body language that Claire may have used?

A: 1. pole dancing

2. the moonwalk

3. the Bolero

Q:"Powerful aftershocks rocked the city, fires burned out of control, streets were full of debris and ruined buildings. At least 30 people were injured." Which type of natural disaster is being described in the report?

A: The end of American Idol

Q:What is a vacuum?

A: Something my mom says I should use more often.

Q: How does Romeo's character develop through the play?

A: It doesn't, it's just self, self, self all the way through.

Q:(ONE OF MY PERSONAL FAVS!!) What does a transformer do?

A: It can go from being a robot to a sports car in three seconds

Q:To change centimeters to meters you _?

A: take out centi

Q:Write two hundred thousand in figures.

A: two hundred thousand in figures

Q:What is the splitting formula?

A: boy meets girl>boy meets another girl>girl finds out about other girl=the splitting formula.

This is not to be confused with the spitting formula, that's just antisocial.

Q:What is conditional probability?

A: maybe, maybe not

Q:Describe the differences between the February Revolution and the October Revolution.

A: One occurred in February and one occurred in October.

Q: What is the significance of the alter?

A: God knows!

Q:Hannah sprays her new bike purple. The spraying of the bike gives it a negative charge and the paint a positive one. Why is this?

A: Positive- spraying is easier then using a paint brush

Negative- purple isn't a good color for a bike


Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree?

Cause it died.

Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree?

Cause it was duct-taped to the first monkey.

Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree?

Cause it was laughing at the other monkeys.

Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?

Peer pressure.

Oh, how I wish, I wish, I was a fish...preferably a big one with huge teeth.


Fanfiction: Because 87% of all original endings suck.

Fanfiction: Because 95% of all plot twists are either predictable or stupid.

Fanfiction: Because my favorite characters always die.

Fanfiction: Because sometimes evil deserves to win.

Fanfiction: Because sometimes authors just don't know which of their own characters go together best.

Fanfiction: Because most authors aren't willing to write multiple versions of their stories just so we can see every possibility that arises.

Fanfiction: Because all stories shouldn't have an ending; there should always be another adventure.

Fanfiction: Because sometimes there's no one your age and gender who you can relate to.

Fanfiction: Because sometimes you want to be in that story yourself.

Fanfiction: Because sometimes you have no other way to express the ideas in your head.

Fanfiction: Because it's an escape.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Champion's Lullaby by SweetCaroline91 reviews
AU Things weren't going as Kurt expected, Dalton wasn't Wonderland and Blaine was painfully oblivious. Then Harry swooped in, claimed the prince charming role without auditioning and led him down the rabbit hole... Kurt blamed the accent. Full summary inside. Will be KurtxHarryxBlaine threesome.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 252,146 - Reviews: 1825 - Favs: 1,275 - Follows: 1,584 - Updated: 1/23 - Published: 5/18/2012 - Harry P., Kurt H., Blaine A.
Hero by Tales from a Teacup reviews
BEFORE AVENGERS! Irene Hill is a mutant delinquent who has one last shot of doing things right for a clean slate. So when someone frames her it's up to Captain America to prove that she is innocent of the recent crimes. Will anyone believe the soldier or will she be put to death by her sister for crimes she didn't commit? Inspired by Skillet's song- Hero
Captain America - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 24 - Words: 23,537 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 1/5/2014 - Published: 12/8/2013 - Steve R./Capt. America, Nick Fury, OC - Complete
Shiroijijo by Darkening Light 666 reviews
DISCONTINUED I never believed myself one to fall in love; it was a useless human emotion. But here I am, falling in love with one creature that grates on my nerves more than anyone else in Heaven, Hell or Earth. What am I supposed to do? Sebastian/OC
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 63,418 - Reviews: 378 - Favs: 434 - Follows: 396 - Updated: 11/20/2013 - Published: 11/10/2010 - Sebastian M.
Hey, Big Spender by IceQueenRia reviews
For Sebastian Smythe, it was just another day at Dalton Academy, until HE walked in the door. First came an instant dislike, then a stupid bet, followed by a whole lot of drama. Kurtbastian, Klaine friendship, gay!Jesse St James. Warning - mentions of abuse, may be triggering.
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 89,359 - Reviews: 700 - Favs: 518 - Follows: 795 - Updated: 8/23/2013 - Published: 4/23/2012 - [Sebastian S., Kurt H.] [Blaine A., Jesse sJ.] - Complete
In Your Dreams by Athena1440 reviews
Athena1440 Says: Dreams are the Messengers of Fate and the Guides of Destiny as Kurt Hummel and Sebastian Smythe will soon discover. CeredwenFlame Says: From the moment they met there were sparks. Sparks they both tried to deny. Sparks their dreams latched on to. What will they do when dreams become reality?
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 24 - Words: 63,873 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 154 - Updated: 8/5/2013 - Published: 1/10/2013 - Kurt H., Sebastian S.
All Bets Are Off by thatssokelly reviews
Blaine makes a bet with his Math tutor, Kurt Hummel. If he gets and A on his next exam, Kurt'd be his slave for a whole week.
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 14 - Words: 48,818 - Reviews: 117 - Favs: 200 - Follows: 246 - Updated: 6/8/2013 - Published: 2/6/2013 - Kurt H., Blaine A. - Complete
One of a Kind by Zavocado reviews
After becoming licensed foster parents two years after Evan is adopted, Kurt and Blaine don't expect to find a suitable match for their family for a long time. But right after Evan's thirteenth birthday, a call comes in for a young boy named Oliver that the Hummels can't refuse. GYOW Extended Universe, future!Klaine, AU
Glee - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 16,408 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 242 - Follows: 226 - Updated: 3/16/2013 - Published: 3/7/2013 - Kurt H., Blaine A. - Complete
The Boy on the Swing by blue mood blue reviews
One summer, near a sleepy town in France, Sebastian found a strange boy on a swing in the park. (Warning: Vague mentions of abuse)
Glee - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,574 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 7 - Published: 2/24/2013 - Kurt H., Sebastian S. - Complete
I'd Lie by Lozzy4992 reviews
Eleventh in my Taylor Swift series, inspired by SpecialBookworm-394. It's Taylor Swift week and Kurt knows exactly which song he's going to sing... Pure and utter cheesy Klainebows :)
Glee - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,698 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/11/2013 - Kurt H., Blaine A. - Complete
Of Wine And Coffee by fanficloverme96 reviews
With his recent breakup with Blaine, Sebastian's taunts were the last things Kurt really needed. So when Sebastian's life took an unexpected turn and he became a temporary resident of the Hudmel residence,Kurt realizes that comfort comes in strange ways. Warning for heavy molestation and attempted rape.
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 38 - Words: 105,223 - Reviews: 567 - Favs: 528 - Follows: 621 - Updated: 12/17/2012 - Published: 5/11/2012 - Kurt H., Sebastian S. - Complete
A Million Little Stars by Bamfderson reviews
When the New Directions decide to check out their competition, the last thing Kurt expects is to strike up an unlikely friendship with a tall green-eyed boy. What starts as a quick conversation in an empty hallway soon turns into so much more. S1 AU
Glee - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 32,200 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 169 - Follows: 347 - Updated: 12/9/2012 - Published: 5/17/2012 - Kurt H., Sebastian S.
Payphone by bellaXmonster reviews
It's been four years since Bia and Bee parted ways, Four years since they have spoken,and four years since the decepticon threat was supposedly destroyed. But now it seems they were so very wrong in assuming that it was all behind them.A new world awaits and paths must be chosen.Will Bia say goodbye to Bee forever, or will she finally realize her true feelings. Sequel to New Beg.
Transformers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 25,213 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 10/24/2012 - Published: 7/17/2012 - Bumblebee, Sam W. - Complete
Soul Bond by imadeafriendtoday reviews
To be soul bonded to someone is everything. It's giving yourself to them, in mind, body, and spirit. You give up a part of your soul in exchange for theirs, connecting yourselves indefinitely. Kurt and Blaine are ready to bond. But so is someone else.
Glee - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 113,424 - Reviews: 397 - Favs: 416 - Follows: 439 - Updated: 10/11/2012 - Published: 4/2/2012 - Kurt H., Sebastian S. - Complete
Demands And Deliverance by thelilacfield reviews
Perhaps now is a good time to inform you: Blaine Anderson, runaway son of Richard and Margaret Anderson, is a prostitute - Very much AU, featuring Prostitute!Blaine
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 50,986 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 73 - Updated: 7/30/2012 - Published: 7/7/2012 - Blaine A., Kurt H. - Complete
Of Bear Cubs, Meerkats, and Hobbits by obsessivecompulsivereadr reviews
Blaine has done the unforgivable, and Kurt Hummel is making some changes in his life. David Karofsky has done the unbelievable, and Sebastian Smythe has miscalculated.
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 50 - Words: 196,986 - Reviews: 1435 - Favs: 1,383 - Follows: 870 - Updated: 7/25/2012 - Published: 3/13/2012 - Kurt H., Sebastian S. - Complete
New Beginnings by bellaXmonster reviews
A death put Bianca Witwicky in the care of her uncle Ron and Aunt Judy, shortly after she is dragged into an alien war because of her cousin Sam's brain. She didnt even know he had one. BeexOC
Transformers - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 30,688 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 7/19/2012 - Published: 2/22/2012 - Bumblebee, Sam W. - Complete
Lost and Found by Phantom of a Rose reviews
Kurt finds the camera on the subway one morning, surprised to see photos of a handsome man holding a white board with words on it.
Glee - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,280 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 295 - Follows: 79 - Published: 7/1/2012 - Complete
Silence by Just-Me-and-My-Brain reviews
"Silence speaks when words cannot..." But what if you don't like what it has to say? There's a new kid at the DWMA and she's not your typical student. But when questions about her past start to be raised and Lord Death refuses to give answers, Death the Kid starts to wonder if there's more to her than meets the eye- and if her past could pose a risk to everyone in the present...
Soul Eater - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 41 - Words: 100,816 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 159 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 3/25/2012 - Published: 11/1/2011 - [Death The Kid, OC] Lord Death/Shinigami-sama - Complete
A Flower Enraptured 'Bee by sydneyelainee reviews
Fate rarely calls upon us, but only in the time of need. It started out as only taking a trip into Mission City. However, Fate called upon me in the midst of an alien war not to save the world but a specific yellow and black bot. 'Bee/Oc.
Transformers - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 39 - Words: 108,920 - Reviews: 272 - Favs: 208 - Follows: 122 - Updated: 2/1/2012 - Published: 7/17/2011 - Bumblebee - Complete
Beecause by Kaisu reviews
Kass has a new neighbor with a hot little car. That hot little car has a small crush on her... BB/OC Smuttiness/some plot. Human-Mech !NO HOLOFORMS ALLOWED!
Transformers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 38,397 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 179 - Follows: 137 - Updated: 12/17/2011 - Published: 7/27/2011 - Bumblebee - Complete
Darling, I love you, but I won't smile for you by The Quaag reviews
"Yeah,we can play a game to pass the time!"Fred/George said."NO,NOT ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR DRINKING GAMES!"Ron shrieked.The events afterward are mentally scarring.Crack fic,co-authors,slash,and language.You have been warned...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,720 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/22/2011 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
These Ending Days by wild-sunshine reviews
Sam wakes up recognizing nothing, himself included. Slash Sam/Bee, and others.
Transformers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 19 - Words: 42,465 - Reviews: 167 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 1/5/2011 - Published: 7/5/2010 - Sam W., Bumblebee - Complete
Why Kurt Hummel Hates Facebook by broadwaypants reviews
Kurt really, really should have just de-friended Jesse when he had the chance. His facebook wall and his relationship with Blaine would certainly have been a lot more... normal if he had.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,800 - Reviews: 411 - Favs: 1,372 - Follows: 115 - Published: 11/16/2010 - Kurt H., Blaine A. - Complete
Are You Cross? by Angelauthor14 reviews
Harry is rescued from the Dursleys at the age of four and is raised by Sirius and Remus. A childhood that Harry deserved! Lots of bonding as Harry begins to trust Sirius and Remus. First fic, so please review. WARNING: DURSLEY ABUSE!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 49 - Words: 126,051 - Reviews: 1942 - Favs: 982 - Follows: 894 - Updated: 12/10/2009 - Published: 4/2/2008 - Harry P., Sirius B.
You Belong With Me by Instead of Reality reviews
Simon's sick of a few things right about now. He is sick of Jace Wayland and he is sick of his sister playing the new Taylor Swift cd on repeat. One-shot song-fic.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,064 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/9/2009 - Simon L., Clary F. - Complete
Nightmare by Karategal reviews
PreMovie Verse : 2007 Just how did Optimus Prime and the other Autobots cope with Bumblebee, the last of the younglings, when he had a series of nightmares? Protocol only goes so far when a youngling is involved...
Transformers - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 6 - Words: 15,897 - Reviews: 231 - Favs: 395 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 9/1/2007 - Published: 8/6/2007 - Optimus Prime, Bumblebee - Complete
Harry's Howler by RunningWithScissors-182 reviews
I always wondered what would have happened if Harry’s parents had been alive when Harry and Ron flew that car to school, especially if Sirius and Remus were at their house at the time. So consider this an AU story.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,032 - Reviews: 185 - Favs: 616 - Follows: 96 - Published: 3/6/2004
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The S in Superman reviews
This was after I watched "Man of Steel," and I just thought I'd let you enjoy the comedy. Hope you find it funny. One-shot.
Superman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 222 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/4/2014
Corvallis reviews
Her name was Bella Swan. She was "that girl". The one with the perfect boyfriend. The one with everything. when she goes to Oregon State University, will that all change? For the better maybe? Or for the worst? BellaxOc Collab between BilkyFizzleweisIII, Harvey the Wonder Hamster and Charlie the Taco.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,284 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 1/29/2014 - Published: 11/1/2013 - Bella, Edward, OC
The Real Reason reviews
They say they have no sexual tension. Chapter 2 is commentary. Rated T because I'm cool like that. Crack-fic. Written for humor.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,417 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 5/7/2013 - Published: 7/1/2012 - Ron W., Hermione G. - Complete
So, why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Kurt should know better than to fall asleep in the common room. He's really starting to regret, especially when a snarky meerkat keeps annoying him. Rated T for language and implied...things. Implied future Kurtbastian.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,091 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/20/2013 - Kurt H., Sebastian S. - Complete
Rejected scenes from Twilight reviews
Those scenes that they never tell you about.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 14 - Words: 10,215 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 11/17/2012 - Published: 7/7/2012
Unique and special reviews
"It's just a name, okay! As I was saying," He, again, glared at Matt. "What you're basically saying is "You're unique and special Johnny, just like everybody else." How the hell is that supposed to 'motivate' them?" Again, the motivator hesitated. Oneshot.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,950 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/29/2011 - Mello - Complete
Hatchet reviews
Mudflap and Skids should not call Ratchet Hatchet. Nor should Optimus. Rated for poor Mr. Tibbles and Cybertron cussing. Oneshot.
Transformers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 483 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/30/2011 - Ratchet - Complete
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