angel of the dark arts
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Joined 06-17-10, id: 2407911, Profile Updated: 04-20-14

Some wise words and funny bits: ;)

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been
with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth
records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing
when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't
always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than
you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing
regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual
harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using
mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student,
only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that
they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It
declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to
administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform
parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband;
churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their
victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar
in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize
that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and
was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife,
Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To
Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized
he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the
majority and do nothing.

RIP We shall remember


If you would have peace, prepare for war; speak softly and carry a big stick.


'We have doomed the wolf not for what it is, but for what we deliberately and mistakenly perceived it to be the mythologized epitome of a savage ruthless killer- which is, in reality, no more then the reflected image of ourselves.' -Farley Mowat


Albert Einstein once said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results" and I say that the definition of stupidity is...religion

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Naruto Orange Typhoon by Nashtalon reviews
Naruto leaves with Jiraiya for two and a half years. In the manga this means he gets dumber. Here it means things happen, maybe...
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 15 - Words: 50,998 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 504 - Follows: 617 - Updated: 8/22 - Published: 11/11/2013 - Naruto U., Hinata H., Ino Y.
Starting Again by one fairy7 reviews
Naruto is sent back to the the fight against Sasuke at the valley of the end after being betrayed only this time things are going to be different. Paring is Naruto/Anko and maybe 1 or 2 more if I am asked. Powerful-Naruto Smart-Naruto
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,153 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 164 - Follows: 260 - Updated: 8/17 - Published: 7/30 - Naruto U., Anko M.
The Unpredictable Shinobi by TheDivineFuryDragonSlayer reviews
Naruto, after the war, is sent to the PJO universe. Unknowingly, he meets two goddesses and fathers two demigod children. Follow our favorite blonde jinchuriki and his children on their journey, and find out how they influence the world, for better or for worse! Rated M for mature references and occasional swearing.
Crossover - Naruto & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 6 - Words: 13,174 - Reviews: 309 - Favs: 1,315 - Follows: 1,499 - Updated: 8/5 - Published: 4/28/2014 - [Naruto U., Athena, Artemis]
Hero of Heaven by HistorianoftheKais reviews
To save an entire world from a mad man, one goddess has given the Kages a means to send Naruto to another realm. Will Naruto be able to discover Kushina's divine identity and can he survive the challenges of being her son?
Crossover - Naruto & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 34 - Words: 180,648 - Reviews: 1957 - Favs: 2,794 - Follows: 2,891 - Updated: 7/29 - Published: 1/1/2013 - Naruto U.
I am not Dead by Nature11 reviews
I have seen hell, been through it all. It was tiring, painful, soul shattering, yet I have escaped, injured and all. But this is what I am, living, breathing, crying, screaming. And if I have to I would scream it over the Heavens. I am not Dead!
Crossover - Naruto & Highschool of the Dead - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Tragedy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 12,930 - Reviews: 232 - Favs: 523 - Follows: 586 - Updated: 6/9 - Published: 9/10/2013 - Naruto U., Saeko B., Shizuka M.
Vanguard: In at the Deep End by USSExplorer reviews
The Vanguard finds itself flung into another galaxy that faces the threat of being overrun by a seemingly unstoppable force. With a massively damaged ship, and little time; can the Vanguard make a difference in determining the fate of a galaxy?
Crossover - StarTrek: Other & Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 48 - Words: 229,314 - Reviews: 308 - Favs: 254 - Follows: 346 - Updated: 5/31 - Published: 4/26/2012 - Shepard (F)
Son Of The Huntress: Breaking The Titans Curse by SoulReaperCrewe reviews
Returning from Mount Myoboku, Naruto is thrown right back into the life of a demi god when the woman he has wanted to meet for sixteen years is captured by the enemy. Joining the quest to save Artemis, they will travel west to face their enemies and free the Moon Goddess as the Second Titan War officially begins. Follows canon but will have originality to it.
Crossover - Naruto & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 97,420 - Reviews: 1281 - Favs: 2,184 - Follows: 2,053 - Updated: 3/29 - Published: 5/27/2013 - Naruto U., Artemis, Silena B., Zoë N.
Rise of the Skulk by Lord Farsight reviews
The abduction of two young girls sent the world on brand new tracks, rewriting the future in an unexpected way. Two vixens will descend from the Clouds, and into the renascent Whirlpool. The sleeping Tides will rise again and join the Skulk. None shall forget the Uzumaki name. Never again. NarutoXHinataXHanabi, alive Kushina, and slightly OP fuinjutsu (blame my imagination).
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 104,987 - Reviews: 452 - Favs: 802 - Follows: 974 - Updated: 3/15 - Published: 8/1/2013 - Naruto U., Hinata H., Hanabi H.
An Arrow to the Knee by NeonZangetsu reviews
Uzumaki Naruto has been known for several things in his young life. Heroism. Bravery. Strength. And last, but certainly not least...attracting buxom young women to his bed. So, when he finds himself mysteriously catapaulted thousands of years into the future, you'd think he'd be able to adapt rather readily, no? There's just one problem...HE CAN'T SPEAK ENGLISH! Narutoxharem!
Crossover - Naruto & Elder Scroll series - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 57,478 - Reviews: 714 - Favs: 2,119 - Follows: 2,343 - Updated: 3/3 - Published: 7/30/2013 - Naruto U., Dragonborn/Dovahkiin, Lydia, Serana
Desperate Decisions by LoneWolf1968 reviews
I've seen several Star Trek/Stargate crossovers so I decided to do one with a bit of a twist. With the theory being that there are an infinite number of realities, wouldn't it make sense that there was an equivalent Jack O'Neill in the Star Trek Universe?
Crossover - StarTrek: The Next Generation & Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 11 - Words: 125,407 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 101 - Updated: 11/20/2014 - Published: 4/26/2014 - Complete
Tides of Change by Crimsom-Wyvern reviews
AU! - It is incredible how one day can change a person's entire life. Naruto finds out about the truth behind the destruction of Uzushiogakure and the Uzumaki Clan, a secret Konoha would like to keep buried. Watch as our favorite Uzumaki takes the world by storm in a quest to bring his clan to the top. Rated M for safety reasons. Grey! Naruto.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 9,074 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 174 - Follows: 202 - Updated: 6/5/2014 - Published: 4/11/2014 - Naruto U., Tayuya, Karin U., Kushina U.
Kind Devil's Antithesis by Wolfpackersson09 reviews
Three heroes of darkness will rise up to save the world from Paradiso and Inferno. The son of Sparda, Shinji Dante Ikari joins forces with the Umbra Witches Asuka and Hikari to save humanity from those that want to rule humanity. Let's rock baby! Yeah, I know the summary sucks. Challenge from EvaShinobiKaiserKnight.
Crossover - Evangelion & Devil May Cry - Rated: M - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 14,854 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 3/21/2014 - Published: 6/6/2013 - Shinji I., Hikari H., Asuka L. S., Sparda
Tactical Advantage Available by SPEC OPS STG reviews
(REWRITTEN) The art of war always changes, never staying the same. Though in this case humanity is the only race able to keep up with evolution.
Crossover - Mass Effect & Crysis - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 10 - Words: 48,004 - Reviews: 198 - Favs: 274 - Follows: 340 - Updated: 1/25/2014 - Published: 7/8/2013
The Noble Hermit by crimsonxAEGIS reviews
Uzumaki Naruto, Savior of the Shinobi World and Vanquisher of the Primordial God "Juubi" has died at the Valley of the End. Konso'd by a familiar Shinigami and sent to the Rukongai, Naruto decides to live his after-life as he did his life. Doing what he thinks is right, and following his gut... all done in style of course. NarutoxHarem !Jaded Naruto !Wise Naruto
Crossover - Naruto & Bleach - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 3 - Words: 66,880 - Reviews: 579 - Favs: 3,251 - Follows: 3,366 - Updated: 1/14/2014 - Published: 12/12/2013 - [Naruto U., Yoruichi S., Kukaku S., T. Harribel]
TEAM SEVEN by Rase TheMasterofLivingDarkness reviews
Team seven, though they were called such, they were ill-matched as a team. One a fangirl in love with another. One an idiot in love with the fangirl. And the last an avenger who hated them both. However Kakashi saw the potential. The Sannin better watch out, cause when Kakashi's done, Team Seven is coming for their title. No pairing as of yet
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,902 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 117 - Updated: 1/1/2014 - Published: 8/13/2013 - Naruto U., Sasuke U., Sakura H., Team Seven
Learning the Difference by Slicerness reviews
Sakura needs chakra, and Naruto just so happens to have a surplus. A deal is made and valuable lessons are learned by all. Dirty lessons. Rated M for good reason.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,210 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 206 - Follows: 217 - Published: 11/20/2013 - [Naruto U., Sakura H., Hinata H.]
A Den of Foxes by JAYSEN reviews
Starts out a year before canon. What if Naruto gained a friend and brother unlike anyone in their lands, or world for that matter, and changes his life forever? Naru/Hina/Saku/Ino with OC/Rin/OC
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 69,652 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 282 - Follows: 236 - Updated: 10/15/2013 - Published: 10/22/2009 - Naruto U.
Encounter by all lonely reviews
Naruto the kyuubi jinchuuriki, hated and ignored. Ruby and Yang, a pair of sisters from a land beyond the seas, sent to the elemental nations by their mother. What happens when their paths collide? Rewrite! RxR
Crossover - Naruto & RWBY - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,249 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 218 - Follows: 250 - Updated: 10/14/2013 - Published: 8/14/2013 - Naruto U., Ruby Rose, Yang Xiao Long
Naruto the legendary ninja by Darkca reviews
During the second exam Naruto awakens a long thought lost power in the galaxy. How will the ninja world handle the revivel of the Legendary super Saiyan. Not Yaoi! not that there is anything wrong with that but no.
Crossover - Dragon Ball Z & Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 31,487 - Reviews: 206 - Favs: 569 - Follows: 532 - Updated: 8/24/2013 - Published: 3/3/2009 - Brolly, Naruto U.
Ambition of the Uzumaki Clan by Kyoka Suigetsu Totsuka reviews
Losing a hopeless war against Uchiha Madara, Uzumaki Naruto decided to travel back to the past and kill his greatest enemy before he became so powerful. Watch as Naruto fight as one of the Uzumaki Clan and lead them into glory that would surpass even the Uchiha and Senju Clans. -Powerful Naruto-Naruto x Mito-
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 46,414 - Reviews: 1675 - Favs: 3,765 - Follows: 3,867 - Updated: 8/13/2013 - Published: 6/29/2013 - Naruto U., Mito U.
This Time as a Namikaze by TwiceMarked reviews
A broken promise sends Naruto spiralling down into a depression after his greatest victory. He is given a chance to make things right, to make things better. But this time, he won't be alone. This time, he'll do it as a Namikaze. M just in case.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 165,364 - Reviews: 2155 - Favs: 3,629 - Follows: 3,765 - Updated: 8/2/2013 - Published: 5/10/2011 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Devil Warrior Volume I by gunman reviews
Shinji is killed by a Fallen Angel and turned into a Devil by Rias Gremory. There he falls in love with the beautiful Akeno Himejima, and discovers his true potential in the Golden Dragon Gauntlet. Omake Chapter, Shinji Phenex, added.
Crossover - Evangelion & High School DxD/ハイスクールD×D - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 161,163 - Reviews: 347 - Favs: 466 - Follows: 318 - Updated: 5/29/2013 - Published: 3/1/2012 - [Shinji I., Rias G., H. Akeno] - Complete
Prince of Krypton by Houkaru Kisaragi reviews
In an alternate universe, Naruto was the son of Emperor Zod, the overlord who conquered Krypton. He was transported to Earth in order for him to complete his trials of ascension, but he was adopted by the Amazons of Themyscira.
Crossover - Naruto & Justice League - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,425 - Reviews: 140 - Favs: 345 - Follows: 371 - Published: 5/23/2013 - Naruto U., Diana of Themyscira/Wonder Woman
Lords of Dragons and Foxes by kyuubi-phoenix1600 v2.0 reviews
Rated M to be safe. There were two survivors of the destruction of Uzu. Naruto meets this man and has his world completely flipped around. Everyone else is in for a surprise. With 3 senseis and a friend by his side, he will learn that not everything can be found underneath the underneath. Rewrite of The Hidden Village of Dragons by kyuubi-phoenix1600.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 9,246 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 4/17/2013 - Published: 2/2/2013 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
The Ark of Shadows by PathKeeper reviews
A Naruto/Stargate SG1 crossover. Watch as the Destined Child leads the people of Shadows from the world of Origin to unite our galaxy against the Ori.
Crossover - Stargate: SG-1 & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 8 - Words: 23,561 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 283 - Follows: 271 - Updated: 3/15/2013 - Published: 8/25/2011
A Devilish New Beginning by Drail012 reviews
Challenge by Challenger. When Madara and Obito attempt to summon the Juubi, things go horribly wrong. 10,000 years later, Naruto Sparda and his partner Yuna are asked by Mikogami to protect Yokai Academy. This party's just gettin crazy! NarutoxHarem
Crossover - Naruto & Rosario + Vampire - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 21,272 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 547 - Follows: 561 - Updated: 2/18/2013 - Published: 10/27/2012 - Naruto U., Moka A.
When Two Angels of a Different Breed Meet by kazikamikaze24 reviews
Rated T for language and suggested themes. Shinji Ikari thought that he ended Third Impact before it could even begin. He thought that, by leaving Tokyo 3 and heading to America, he'd be able to have a new chance at life. However, the town of his choice was influenced by two particular Angels, and he now finds himself stuck in a mess he thought he was done with. Pairing Undecided.
Crossover - Evangelion & Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt/パンティ&ストッキングwithガーターベルト - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 5 - Words: 28,475 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 119 - Updated: 12/25/2012 - Published: 7/14/2012 - Shinji I.
Hanyou Naruto and his vixens by Robin.exe reviews
A challenge story by Crossoverpairinglover that he put on his profile. Summary inside: Harem story Naruto/Hinata/FemHaku/Ino now added TenTen and Kin
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 41 - Words: 311,181 - Reviews: 426 - Favs: 1,103 - Follows: 753 - Updated: 12/19/2012 - Published: 8/12/2011 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
Star Trek: Way of the Battlestar by CarsonNapier reviews
Tired of being on the short end of the stick, the Federation of Planets and Starfleet begin an R&D program meant to improve the fleets defensive and offensive capacities. Their engineers draw inspiration from old tv shows and sci fi novels.
Crossover - Battlestar Galactica: 2003 & Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 905 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 47 - Published: 7/13/2012 - J. Kirk
Dragons? by ShotgunRedneck reviews
What if Dragons still existed but went underground...What if Kushina Uzumaki was a Dragon and had passed that blood onto her son? Takes place in between Zabuza/Wave arc and the Chuunin arc.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 15,717 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 248 - Follows: 258 - Updated: 6/22/2012 - Published: 7/22/2011 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Naruto Lost Journeys: Sanctuary by Kronos Titan of time reviews
Flung into the 'Box of Paradise', Naruto's attempts to escape land him in Sanctuary now how will he fare against the evils of this land...will he find a way back or will he be corrupted by the Prime Evils to be their sword against the forces of Heaven.
Crossover - Diablo & Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Horror - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,967 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 135 - Updated: 6/20/2012 - Published: 5/14/2012 - Auriel, Naruto U.
Playing The Four Devils by yinyang13 reviews
With blessings from Reign AG, I've made my own version. So enjoy and I hope you like it.
Crossover - Devil May Cry & Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,327 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 6/6/2012 - Published: 5/18/2011 - Naruto U.
Elemental Knights by Chrisdz reviews
When a group of shinobi enter the Galactic Republic it sets into motion a spiral of events that could change the fate of an entire universe, the question however is if anyone is ready for it
Crossover - Star Wars & Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 35,835 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 401 - Follows: 369 - Updated: 9/25/2011 - Published: 6/13/2010 - Naruto U.
Maelstrom of the Universe by Bloodied-Samurai reviews
ON HIATUS UNTIL I GET MY MUSE BACK
Crossover - Naruto & Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,088 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 8/24/2011 - Published: 6/25/2011 - Naruto U.
The Third Defender of Daten City by zerohour20xx reviews
In a twist of fate Naruto ends up in Daten City, a place on the border of both heaven and hell. Fighting the Ghosts that endanger the citizens, what will happen when a certain pair of Angel sisters cross his path? NarutoxPantyxStocking
Crossover - Naruto & Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt/パンティ&ストッキングwithガーターベルト - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,595 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 281 - Follows: 266 - Updated: 6/22/2011 - Published: 12/4/2010 - Naruto U.
Across endless space by erkman3 reviews
Well after the wars, Shinji, Asuka and Rei. Along with Misato sign up for a project that will help humanity spread across the stars. While on a training mission Some race comes from the stars. Now the human race is reduced to just 2.6 million.
Evangelion - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 13 - Words: 70,360 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 3/6/2011 - Published: 9/23/2009
Naruto Kami of the dragon fist by True Assassins reviews
read and find out not good of a summary for this
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,305 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 63 - Published: 2/21/2011 - Naruto U., Kurenai Y.
Devils Tears by Ghost of Meat reviews
An Eva and Devil May Cry crossover. The 12th angel accidentally sends Shinji to Hell. Dante son of Sparta must find a way to get him out. Summery sucks i know.
Evangelion - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Horror - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,749 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 6/1/2008 - Published: 6/26/2007