Poll: What aspect of a story do you like best? :) Vote Now!
Author has written 8 stories for Bleach, and Durarara!!/デュラララ!!.
There was a time when I was afraid of writing. Frankly, I still have traces of those moments. I don't know why, but maybe it's because I was hit with the harsh slap of reality, and from then on, I couldn't just "write" anymore. I wrote to impress, I wrote for others, and I wrote for the "me" that wanted to succeed. Writing became torture for me, so I distanced myself. I didn't know how to get out of my rut, and even when I continued to write in my spare time, it wasn't working.
I realized that it was because I was competing with "myself." And it's the hardest battle I'd ever faced. I was afraid of letting myself down, as in, I was terrified of losing to my expectations. Whenever I would reread something I wrote, I wasn't satisfied with my current abilities. How was I supposed to succeed if I couldn't better myself, and in the process, give myself a passing grade?
It's very hard for me to put it, but these are my true feelings.
I AM writing again. On a new account. I tried my best to start anew, but in the end, it still wasn't what I needed nor wanted. I deleted a lot of the stories you guys loved, and I'm deeply sorry for that, but it's for a reason that I feel doesn't need to be said. I will NOT be deleting any of my other fics, because those are actually the stuff I liked. I can't strip them away.
I still have a hard time getting back into my groove, but I feel that with where I'm going now, it just might work out. I'm writing for "myself" again. Not for the person that wants to succeed, but for "me," and with that, I feel myself reverting back to how I used to be. That's all I've ever wanted.
I have some amazing people who supported me a butt-ton!
Nine Lives' Hato Sengoku- drawn by Aka-chan57--> http://aka-chan57.deviantart.com/art/Hato-Sengoku-302948930
- she did an amazing job, and he looks exactly like how I portrayed him, and it just BLOWS my mind, thank you!
Painting Flowers Brown- German translation- translated by MondayTillToday--> www.fanfiktion.de/s/51cb499b000124eccb7b3cd
- thank you for even taking the time to translate this into another language! Spreading my crappy writing like that, how awesome are you?
Thank you to Recklessly Impulsive, Confusion no Hime, and HazelGrey. You guys always stuck by me, and I'm basically a product of all of your writings combined. I learned from you guys the most, and you taught me everything too.
Also, to the readers who dedicated their precious time to reading my crappy prose, I thank you. I may say I write for myself now, but back then, my awkward, emo teenage years really needed your kind words. I may not list all of you, but just keep in mind that I remember all of that golden support. *bows head*
Nine Lives and Watch Me Remember- as for these stories, I am NOT going to delete them. I've just been at a stalemate at where to begin. I will most likely update these in the future... someday. To be honest, I just don't have any idea what the next chapters will be about, ahahahaa... poor planning from middle school life; blame it on that, yeah. *whistles a happy tune*
If you ever want to get in contact with me, don't hesitate to shoot me a message. It brightens my day a lot to know people still acknowledge my existence, hehe. I also don't mind talking about absolutely nothing relevant, though I do have a hard time keeping in touch with people 24/7. My attention span isn't very extensive, you see. If you also find yourself wanting to know about my other account, that's fine too.
I'm kind of afraid to tell the world about my new account, just because I feel like it's my night-life. Think of it as some sort of drama where I hide my side job as a working prostitute, ehe, bad analogy. Sorry. In the end, it just all comes down to what the hell's up with my brain. You might not get it, and for the record, I don't either. Gomen *hugs a cactus*
Unsafe External Link