Author has written 81 stories for Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Chronicles of Narnia, Lost, Twilight, Hunger Games, Bourne series, Glee, and Percy Jackson and the Olympians.
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.'
What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.
-T. S. Eliot
“Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers but to be fearless in facing them. Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain, but for the heart to conquer it. Let me not look for allies in life's battlefield but to my own strength. Let me not cave in.”
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm ... As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands. One for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
You can easily tell the character of a man [or woman] by how he [or she!] treats those who can do nothing for him [or her].
- James D. Miles
A reporter asked an old couple, "How have you been married for 65 years?" The husband said, "Because we were born in a time where if something was broken, you'd fix it, instead of throwing it away."
“This is the ending. Now not day only shall be beloved, but night too shall be beautiful and blessed and all its fear pass away.”
Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff.
Slytherins … will push someone else off.
Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase.
Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet.
Remember there's a light at the end of every tunnel, just make sure its not a train.
The next time someone says "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me " HIT THEM WITH A DICTIONARY!
"If life gives you lemons, make grape juice and let the world wonder how you did it!"
I didn't fall for you, you tripped me.
Love? I'd rather fall in chocolate.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Dumbledore: What happened down in the dungeons between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret, so, naturally the whole school knows.
Hurley: Dude, look, I'd never lie.
Luna: Don't worry. You're just as sane as I am
Charlie Pace: I came here in my invisible submarine. Don't you see it?
Cross-examining Lawyer: So, you say that when Amos Wharton raised his axe, you backed away from him.
Charlie: What separates us from these savage yanks if we cannot drink tea?
Dear math book makers,
I'm pretty sure if I bought 60 boxes of pencils and 10 boxes of pens and arranged them all into triangles, I would be a social outcast.
Charlie: Hmm. I have this dream. I'm driving a bus, and my teeth start falling out. My mum is in the back, eating biscuits. Everything smells of bacon. It's weird. 'Course I don't wake up screaming.
Dear Flight Attendant,
Thank you for saying Wingardium Leviosa when the plane took off.
Sincerely, you made my day.
French Soldier (John Cleese): “I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.”
- Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin): "I know we’ve only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half.
I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it."
- The Jerk
Love is handing someone a gun and letting it point to your head, believing that he won't pull the trigger. - Spongebob Squarepants
I shall call him Squishy, and he shall be mine, and he shall be my squishy.
- Finding Nemo
Claire: [about Locke] Great. Our only hunter's going to get eaten just so he can get the pregnant girl some more water.
When you sparkle more than Ke$ha, you're doing it wrong...
Sincerely, tone down on the glitter.
"I don't go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me."
"How come Uncle Scott was sad?"
"What makes you think that?"
"I asked him to stick a straw in his nose and blow bubbles in his milk. And he said no."
- The Santa Clause 2
"He was my mum and dad's best friend. He's a convicted murderer, but he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though...keep up with news...check if I'm happy..."
I did not laugh when I saw The Hangover. I did not scream when I saw Paranormal Activity. I did not barf when I saw Twilight. But you've broken me with Toy Story 3.
Sincerely, crying my eyes out.
Hugo 'Hurley' Reyes: [out of breath] Did either of you see a guy run through here... in a bathrobe... with a coconut?
Dear Wizards of Waverly Place,
You can write a report on a book you never read? That's not magic...
Sincerely, it's called Sparknotes.
"Harry, don't go picking a row with Malfoy, don't forget, he's a prefect now, he could make life difficult for you..."
"You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling." [Pulls out a grenade launcher] - 'Inception'
Desmond: How do I know you?
Dear guy who broke up with my friend because it "wasn't going anywhere",
You're both in middle school... where did you expect it to go?
Sincerely, reality check.
"Why were you lurking under our window?"
"Yes -- yes, good point, Petunia! What were you doing under our windows, boy?"
"She turned me into a newt!"
"I got better..."
-Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Jerry (Jack Lemmon): “Oh no you don’t! Osgood, I’m gonna level with you. We can’t get married at all.”
Osgood (Joe E. Brown): “Why not?”
Jerry: “Well, in the first place, I’m not a natural blonde.”
Osgood: “Doesn’t matter.”
Jerry: “I smoke! I smoke all the time!”
Osgood: “I don’t care.”
Jerry: “Well, I have a terrible past. For three years now, I’ve been living with a saxophone player.”
Osgood: “I forgive you.”
Jerry: [tragically] “I can never have children!”
Osgood: “We can adopt some.”
Jerry: “But you don’t understand, Osgood!”
[Finally gives up and pulls off his wig]
Jerry: “Ohh… I’m a man!”
Osgood: “Nobody’s perfect!”
-Some Like It Hot
When your children come to me crying because someone called them "mudblood," all I can say is you're raising them right.
Sincerely, proud Kindergarten teacher.
"You know your mother, Malfoy? The expression on her face - like she's got dung under her nose? Is she like that all the time or just because you were with her?"
Dear people thinking Romeo & Juliet is a romantic love story,
It was a relationship that lasted three days between two 13 year olds and resulted in 5 deaths.
Sincerely, everyone who actually read the story.
Charlie: "So, first plane crash?"
Claire: "What gave it away?"
Charlie: "Ah, you can always spot the newbies."
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, geez!
For all of you who don't understand Lost...
WATCH THIS AND EVERYTHING WILL MAKE SENSE.
Most writers, including most professional writers, do revisions like a cosmetic surgeon trapped in an ER.
They're doing their thing on a patient who isn't breathing, who has bled from everywhere, and whose heart has stopped...
...and they can't figure out why that nose job isn't bringing him back to life.
“Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder…”
“I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live by the light that I have. I must stand with anybody that stands right, and stand with him while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong.”
– Abraham Lincoln
Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby.
- Ruth E. Renkel
Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today.
- James Dean
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
- Dr. Seuss
“You see things; and you say, 'Why?'. But I dream things that never were; and I say, 'Why not?'”
- George Bernard Shaw
Banners and Pictures:
A Teddy/Lily for Ignorance is Bliss - made by yours truly! :D Ignorance is Bliss banner 2
Lily looking down
James (with no glasses, but with a guitar!)
Tonks with blue hair
Tonks with pink hair
Now on a hill far away
Stood an old rugged cross
The emblem of suffering and shame
I remember the nails through my hands
And your name in my heart
And how in their wordless way
The nails explain
The love that I feel inside
As they carved your name into my tree
Where I wrapped my heart around your name
Then I took your arrow through my heart
Just to say, "I love you"
"My Tree" by Chris Rice
EVERYONE! ALICE IS BACK!!!!!!!! BUT SHE'S MAKING A NEW ACCOUNT! ALICE IS BACK! Her account is called CrimsonPearlAlice, and she will be publishing her fics from this account soon. Check her out! She's awesome!
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