Author has written 7 stories for Ranma, Harry Potter, Naruto, Sailor Moon, Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha, Touhou Project, and Golden Sun.
Hey! Call me Tir.
Real name: Wouldn't you like to know!
Annoying my little brother
Collecting quotes, sayings, stories, small objects, and the souls of the damned
Note: If you discover something that belongs to you on this page and want me to remove it, send me a message and I will. I have also cut down greatly the size of this, but the entire 300+ pages I have to offer are available if you get a message to me asking for it.
"The magic of believing is this: if we really believe in ourselves, our heart will take us to the highest plateau of personal success. Nothing will stop us as long as we have faith in our hearts."
"Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb." ~Sir William Churchill
"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"Artists who seek perfection in everything are those who cannot attain it in anything." ~Eugene Delacriox
"Perfectionism is simply putting a limit on your future. When you have an idea of perfect in your mind, you open the door to constantly comparing what you have now with what you want. That type of self criticism is significantly deterring." ~John Eliot
"Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death." ~James F. Byrnes
"Death may be the greatest of all human blessings." ~Socrates
"Immortality. To never be killed, no matter how severe the injury. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal, right? Immortality. You'll never see your loved ones again. You'll never go to heaven or hell. All your friends will age and die while you must watch from the sidelines. Sounds like a curse, right? Immortality, is a double-edged sword that is a cursed blessing and a blessed curse." ~Unknown
"And Dreamers shall dream and make the impossible possible and to inspire others around them to reach higher, to surpass the limits, until eternity's end" - Unknown
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."- Albert Einstein
"He who fights monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."- Friedrich Nietzsche
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something."- Plato
"In three words I can sum up everything I learned about life: it goes on."- Robert Frost
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather judgement that something else is more important than fear."- Ambrose Redmoon
"A common mistake that people make trying to design something comepletely foolproof was to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."- Douglas Adams
"Just when you realize that life's a bitch, it has puppies."- Adrienne E. Gusoff
"The optomist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true."- James Branch Cabell
"Death is more universal than life; everyone dies and not everbody lives."- A. Sachs
"Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that can not be torn, so that we see ourselves for as we really are."- Arthur Golden
"May he who has screwed over your day have his crotch infested by the fleas of a thousand camels, and may his arms be too short to scratch it. Amen."- The officer worker's prayer
"A real friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."- Unknown
"Never tell people how to do things: tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity."- George S. Patton
"I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not."- Unknown
"That's what it takes to be a hero, a little gem of innocence inside you that makes you want to believe that their still exists a right and wrong, that decency will somehow triumph in the end."- Lise Hand
"Death is more universal than life; everyone dies and not everbody lives."- A. Sachs
"Often, the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth."- Mark Twain
"Suspicion always haunts a guilty mind."- Shakespear
"Sometimes, you just have to smile, shrug, and say 'What the hell?'"- unknown
"Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all."- William Goldman, "The Princess Bride"
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."- Douglas Adams
"If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility."- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
"When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elswhere."- Francois De La Rochefoucauld
"Reveal not every secret to a friend, for how can you tell but that friend may hereafter become an enemy."- Saadi
"One should expect the expected can be prevented, but the unexpected should have been expected."- Norman R. Augustine
"Destiny is what you are supposed to do in life. Fate is what kicks you in the ass to do it."- Henry Miller
"Most bitter are the quarrels between brothers."- Latin Proverb
"Happiness is the dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill."- Johnny Carson
"One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks."- Jack Penn
"If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door."- Paul Beatly
"Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop."- Unknown
"A work of art which did not begin in emotion is not art."- Unknown
"Emotion is the starting point, the beginning, and the end."- Unknown
"I firmly believe that any man's finest hour is that moment when they have worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of the battle... victorius."- Vince Lombardi
"Friends are angels that help us getting up when our wings can't remember how to fly."- Unknown
The journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step... Sometimes, taking the first step is the most difficult thing to do... Your destiny is in your hands... You must grasp it before it's too late.- Luo Tzu
Who are you truly?... The angel who soars above... Or maybe the fallen who are deprived... Who are you truly?... Grasp your destiny and choose... For I keep calling for you... But do you listen or do you run from me?... Who are you truly?... Take off the mask... Forget everbody's sneering... Take off the cloak... Forget their mockery... Take off the shadow of namelessness... And most importantly, forget their whispers... Who are you truly?... Stand up... Grasp your sword... And scream as you charge... Scream who you are.
“The light thinks that it is the fastest thing there is. It is wrong. No matter how fast the light travels, it always arrives to find that the darkness is there first. And it is waiting.” – Terry Pratchet “...When the light finally arrives, it castes shadows for all to see, all of the encompassing darkness concentrated into a black so pure that it seems that the light will never illuminate them. But that is why we have heroes, and legends. Because the light would never show us who to fight if there was nobody holding the torch.” - me
"It is said that the gods play games with the lives of men. But what games, and why, and the identities of the actual pawns, and what the game is, and what the rules are – who knows?
Best not to speculate,
Terry Pratchett, Guards Guards(1989)
“Before you do something that is extraordinary in the eyes of the people, the people first have to care. But the best way to make them care is not to force them to think a certain way, it’s to become valuable to them as a friend or respected fellow. And people don’t just respect power. People respect someone who treats them with respect and compassion, someone brave and just and inspirational and, for lack of a better word, someone good.”
... fiction never exceeds the reach of the writer’s courage. - Dorothy Allison
... in nine out of ten cases the original wish to write is the wish to make oneself felt. The non-essential writer never gets past that wish. - Elizabeth Bowen
... no writing is a waste of time,—no creative work where the feelings, the imagination, the intelligence must work. - Brenda Ueland
... writing is not a performance but a generosity. - Brenda Ueland
A good writer does not receive anywhere near the number of poison-pen letters that is commonly assumed. Among a hundred jackasses there are not ten who will admit to being jackasses, and at most one who will put it in writing. - Karl Kraus
A writer is unfair to himself when he is unable to be hard on himself. - Marianne Moore
A writer never reads his work. For him, it is the unreadable, a secret, and he cannot remain face to face with it. A secret, because he is separated from it. - Maurice Blanchot
And if nobody reads me, shall I have wasted my time, when I have beguiled so many idle hours with such pleasant and profitable reflections? - Michel de Montaigne
The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all. - Mark Twain
Pay no attention to what the critics say; there has never been set up a statue in honor of a critic. - Jean Sibelius
Confronted by an absolutely infuriating review it is sometimes helpful for the victim to do a little personal research on the critic. Is there any truth to the rumor that he had no formal education beyond the age of eleven? In any event, is he able to construct a simple English sentence? Do his participles dangle? When moved to lyricism does he write 'I had a fun time'? Was he ever arrested for burglary? I don't know that you will prove anything this way, but it is perfectly harmless and quite soothing. - Jean Kerr
It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms; the great devotions; and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat. - Franklin Roosevelt
Do not put statements in the negative form. And don't start sentences with a conjunction. If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do. Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is. Last, but not least, avoid cliches like the plague. - William Safire
My most important piece of advice to all you would-be writers: when you write, try to leave out all the parts readers skip. - Elmore Leonard
Once upon a midnight dreary, some poor, elderly bachelor alone in his bibliophile paradise of a bachelor pad will open the door to some eldritch tapping, and instead of a stately bird of saintly days of yore, an angsty young ninja with black hair and the crazy eyes will step in, make himself home on the armchair while completely disregarding the welcoming statue of Pallas, except for maybe a disdainful look in its general direction, and will quoth: "Where is Itachi? You won't miss him, he leaves dead villages in his wake and always eats dango. He has a shark man. Have you seen him? You've seen him, haven't you? Did I mention he murdered my village?" Disgraceful, really. Not a nevermore in sight, so to speak. - ivy_chan (livejournal comment)
...Second of all, if you are having sex and something is flaming, YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING WRONG. There should be not any fire during sex unless you are reeeaaally kinky. If someone's naughty bits burst into flames, that is a sign to STOP. - gem_samari(livegournal comment)
The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself? - xterm
"Do not meddle in the affairs of writers, for they torture characters for a living."
“I have known many gods. He who denies them is as blind as he who trusts them too deeply.” Conan
The man in black fled across the desert.
And the Gunslinger followed.
If this was another alien, an invasion of the mole men, or just a general ‘world domination’ scheme, he was going to retire. He meant it this time. The previous twenty-eight oaths of retirement were now null and void.
"Make my way back home when I learn to fly high..." - Foo Fighters
’What is the worst of woes that wait on age? What stamps the wrinkle deeper on the brow? To view each loved one blotted from life’s page, And be alone on earth, as I am now.’
“A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. So is a lot.” – Albert Einstein
Lt. Colonel Hal Moore: [Hal Moore speaks to his men before going into battle] Look around you. In the 7th cavalry, we've got a captain from the Ukraine; another from Puerto Rico. We've got Japanese, Chinese, Blacks, Hispanics, Cherokee Indians. Jews and Gentiles. All Americans. Now here in the states, some of you in this unit may have experienced discrimination because of race or creed. But for you and me now, all that is gone. We're moving into the valley of the shadow of death, where you will watch the back of the man next to you, as he will watch yours. And you won't care what color he is, or by what name he calls God. They say we're leaving home. We're going to what home was always supposed to be. Now let us understand the situation. We are going into battle against a tough and determined enemy.
Joseph Galloway: [narrating] Some had families waiting, for others their only family would be the men they bled beside, there were no bands, flags no honor guards to welcome them home, they went to war because their country ordered them to, but in the end they fought not for country or their flag, they fought for each other
I left my world to wander in
There are no mornings like my world's,
Dayna's Song, by Tanith Lee.
"My life closed twice before its close--
It yet remains to see
If Immortality unveil
A third event to me
So huge, so hopeless to conceive
As these that twice befell.
Parting is all we know of heaven,
And all we need of hell."
Sometimes, no matter how powerful you are, you just have to let heroes be heroes. Because not all stories are about you, and no story lasts forever. – Warlic, the Blue Mage
Heroes are born every day. Your neighbor might be a hero, and you just don’t know it. The common misconception about heroes is that people think that they are some kind of celebrities, which is totally not the case. A hero, at its core, is somebody who does extraordinary things in extraordinary times. Anybody can be a hero, your dog, your grandmother, that pesky guy in school that bugs you all the time; you might just not know it.
What it means to be a true hero; that one not only saves the day, but makes a difference within the lives of those he crosses paths with.
“Why are they here? Do they all want to die?” “Even if they want to die, they don’t want to see other people die. These are the people found on this street…”
A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Extraordinary people survive under the most terrible circumstances and they become more extraordinary because of it.
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, “I'll try again tomorrow."
—Mary Anne Radmacher-Hershey
Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan, "Press on," has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
"Their's not to make reply,
Words to reflect on...
Every end has a beginning, every beginning an end...
Every drop of sweat in training is one less drop of blood in battle.
With great power, comes great responsibillity.
To defeat one's enemies, first must one understand and defeat oneself.
Know the enemy, and not yourself, and you will fail every time.
Greed. Pride. Wrath. Envy. Lust. Sloth. Gluttony. Why can people always remember the Seven Deadly Sins, but not the Seven Holy Virtues?
Only when you have someone precious to protect, can you become truly powerful.
Knowing is half the battle. Doing is the rest.
Racism is a result of weak-minded fools. Hatred should be equal-opportunity, and merited.
Think outside the box? Why? The box is there for a reason. I feel safe in the box...
All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost...
If only I had done more...
Consistancy is key. Keep true to yourself, and you'll find the way.
Tyrants. Sadists. Rapists. Those who do evil will come to know me well...
If only words could convey my feelings for you...
Fall down seven times, get up eight...
Revenge? No. Revenge isn't a valid motive. It's an emotional response.
Tell me where your God is now, in your hour of greatest need.
Such things are not meant to be pondered by mortals. Best leave well enough alone.
I'm not a smart man. But I do know what love is.
Love is unconditional. Love is pure, and good. Love is power, and potential, and passion. So why do we hate?
So many would follow the darkness, if not for the ones who guide them...
Please... Just... Make me understand...
Always remember, Never forget. The Sin shall remain, with all my regret...
Death is but a second beginning...
You are you. That's all that matters.
All stories are lies. But good stories are lies made from light and fire. And they lift our hearts out of the dust, and out of the grave. - Martin Thole's son, from the comic Lucifer, issue 70, Fireside Tales
Writing has to be like a skirt: Long enough to cover the topic, short enough to be interesting.
“To see a world
in a grain of sand,
and Heaven in a
Hold Infinity in the
palm of your hand,
And Eternity in an hour.”
William Blake (1757-1827)
There's an old saying among the shipwrights. Manueverability, Versatility, Firepower,
Livability. Choose any two.
The search for truth is more precious than its possession. -Albert Einstein
Some say the world will end in fire,
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
“For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'It might have been!'”
Memento Mori: A Latin phrase that has several meanings.
“Remember that you are mortal.”
“Remember you will die.”
“Remember that you must die.”
"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today."
"The road to hell was ordered by the righteous, planned by the well-meaning, and paved with good intentions" -16th century proverb
the things we've seen,
and the things we hope to see.
Dance like no one's watching,
Love like you've never been hurt before,
Sing like no one's listening,
Live like Heaven's on earth.
Enter, stranger, but take heed
Of what awaits the sin of greed,
For those who take, but do not earn,
Must pay dearly in their turn.
So if you seek beneath our floors
A treasure that was never yours,
Thief, you have been warned, beware,
Of finding more than treasure there.
-Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, J. K. Rowling
Cause when push comes to shove, you taste what you're made of,
You might bend till you break, cause it's all you can take,
On your knees you look up, decide you've had enough,
You get mad, you get strong, wipe your hands, shake it off,
When you stand...
-Stand, Rascal Flatts
Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These small hours
-Little Wonders, Rob Thomas
There are two ways of spreading light--
to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.
A scattered dream that's like a far-off memory. A far-off memory that's like a scattered dream. I want to line the pieces up...
yours and mine.
-Kingdom Hearts II
"Fifty years from now when you're looking back at your life,
don't you wanna be able to say you had the guts to get in the car?"
-Sam Witwicky, Transformers (2007)
And, though the shadow of a sigh
May tremble through the story,
For 'happy summer days' gone by,
And vanish'd summer glory--
It shall not touch, with breath of bale,
The pleasance of our fairy-tale.
-Through the Looking Glass, Lewis Carroll
Music is a higher revelation than all wisdom and philosophy.
-Ludwig van Beethoven
Murphy's law: 1. If anything can go wrong, it will." 2. "If there's more than one possible outcome of a job or task, and one of those outcomes will result in disaster or an undesirable consequence, then somebody will do it that way" 3. "Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time, in the worst possible way."
Godwin's Rule of Nazi Analogies: As a discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.
Hanlon's razor: 1. Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. 2. Never assume malice when stupidity will suffice.
Amara's Law: "We tend to overestimate the effect of a technology in the short run and underestimate the effect in the long run.
Benford's law of controversy: The Passion of an agruement is inversely proportional to the amount of real information available.
Dilbert Principal: The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.
Gall's Law: "A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked."
Herblock's Law: If it's good, they'll stop making it.
Hutber's Law: "Improvement means deterioration".
Littlewood's Law: Individuals can expect a miracle to happen to them at the rate of about one per month.
Meadow's Law: One is a tragedy, two is suspicious and three is murder, until proved otherwise.
Muphry's Law: If you write anything criticizing editing or proofreading, there will be a fault of some kind in what you have written.
Okrent's Law: The pursuit of balance can create imbalance because sometimes something is true.
Parkingson's Law:Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.
Peter's Principle: In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.
Reilly's Law: People generally patronize the largest mall in the area.
Roemer's Law: A hospital bed built is a bed filled
Rothbard's Law: Everyone specializes in his own area of weakness.
Sayre's Law: "In any dispute the intensity of feeling is inversely proportional to the value of the stakes at issue." By way of corollary, the law adds: "That is why academic politics are so bitter."
Schneier's Law: Any person can invent a security system so clever that she or he can't think of how to break it.
Segal's law A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure."
Skitt's law a corollary of Muphry's law, variously expressed as "any post correcting an error in another post will contain at least one error itself" or "the likelihood of an error in a post is directly proportional to the embarrassment it will cause the poster."
Stigler's law: No scientific discovery is named after its original discoverer.
Sturgeon's revelation "90 percent of everything is crud."
Sutton's law "'Go where the money is'".
Wiener's Law There are no answers, only cross-references.
Four lessons. 1 One choice can often change ones fate. 2 It is easier to reach ones dreams with help. 3 The name makes the man. 4 To make a name for yourself you often have to add some weight to your name.
What Makes A Good Fic By: Kraken's Ghost (trust me, this guy knows what the hell he is talking about, check his account out)
Fanfiction Failure Metarule #1-- Readers will absolute love a completed work but will invariably pick apart and inadvertently attempt to destroy it if given a hand in its creation. Be especially wary of open forums in this regard. Either have a healthy self image or screen your pre-readers carefully to avoid this failure.
Fanfiction Failure Metarule #2-- The phrase "...that's just another excuse to (plot device)." indicates you are dealing with a person of below average insight as to how fiction is written. These people should not be allowed to influence your work in any way because everything is a means to an end and is therefore "an excuse" to achieve that end. For example; "...(plot device) is just another excuse to lock Ranma as a girl." This is an empty statement attempting to hide behind factual expertise; a bludgeon used by particular readers that don't get their way or don't approve of your plot. It contains no value beyond personal opinion and should therefor be treated as such.
Fanfiction Failure Metarule #3-- There is no impossible in fanfiction. Every once in a while you'll run into that anal retentive plot nazi that will say it simply can't be done like that. It doesn't matter what 'that' is because 'it' simply can't be done and they are, of course, the foremost authority on such matters. Normally this advisement is made by people that don't know they're closet creativity thieves; people who don't realize that their favorite series usually has either plot holes you can drive a death star through or that same series has Lucky God martial Artists, Flying airships, and springs of drowned Asura-zebra-octopi-phoenix-yeti-bulls. Sadly, their disagreements usual come down to little more than opinion of what is in reality- say it with me -magical bullshit. As such, these people should be given as little creative share in your work as possible. All that said, there is a difference between the broken ideology of "can't be done" and the more realistic "shouldn't be done". Consult the Rules of Fanfiction Failure for a head start on those.
A few rules you must follow in order to not fail at fanfiction.
1) Your summary fails. It really does. This is the hook, your foot in the door. Avoid asking your readers questions here and avoid references to other parts of said fic. "What if Ranma fell into the world of Mario and saved the princess?" HE'LL EXPLODE INTO GOOEY CHUNKS AND SHOWER THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM WITH CRIMSON RAIN, DROWNING TURTLES AND PLUMBERS ALIKE IN A LAKE OF MARTIAL ARTS CANAGE. Seriously, don’t give your reader a chance to answer that question themselves. Next time you read a review that's formed into a question, please remember the above reply. Secondly, such reviews impart no useful information to your audience. Likewise, "Continuing from part five, review my ass please" is similarly annoying. Hey genius, I didn't read part one. What's that about again? Convince me I should take the time to read ch1 before even considering part five. Be creative, give them a little bite of what to expect. Most entertaining is "I'm bad at summaries." The amount of fail in that statement could light Crystal Tokyo for a couple hundred years and encourages nobody to read your fic.
2) Your Grammar/Spelling fails. This is a direct indication about how much you care about your fic, and therefore how much we as readers should care about the fic. Every time you fail miserably at this, Chuck Norris kills a kitten. What's worse, you know you're failing and release the fic anyway. Don't cry when you get reamed by your reviewers. Why you aren't molesting the spell/grammar check function at a minimum is beyond me.
3) Your Plot Bludgeons fail. What is a plot bludgeon? You know, those pieces of information you impart on readers so obvious it hurts to read. An example of one I recently encountered-- Ukyo was really a flat chested man, unwraps himself to reveal that fact and say, "heheh, I can't believe I keep fooling them!" ...And i would have gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for those darn kids. Okay, so you want to get a point across to the reader. Great. But very rarely is there call to light your plot point up as a huge neon lit Las Vegas strip sign. Learn subtly. Weave it naturally into the story. Ranma is a genius! Great, but tell me a story about it, not as an outright fact. Exceptions do exist, though most don't apply to you anyway.
4) Your obscure plot fails. Big rule... The more obscure/complex your plot is, the more it needs built up through detail and storytelling. Likewise, the more important an event is in that plot, the more attention you need to pay it. Glossing over critical event is not allowed. Zap! Ranma is a female permanently now and feels suicidal. Huh? What? Ranma got mad and killed his father for all the injustices visited upon him. Whoa there, Tex. Might want to tell us what triggered that rampage or what led up to the critical events you insist only require one sentence explanations. If you have something weird going on, your readers might like to know some basic information... Like who what why how where, some history, motivations, etc...
5) Your Dialogue fails. This mainly pertains to the structuring of said dialogue, not the content. The Pope will visit you tonight and rape your keyboard if you ever post a page full of dialogue without framing and context again. Don't assume your reader knows who's talking. Tell them who is talking. If you're feeling frisky, tell them how that character feels when they're talking. maybe the expressions on their face. What they're doing. Dialogue is like a picture... It needs a frame if you're going to hang it on the wall properly. Of course, you could just nail it up there, but that's why you fail.
6) Your Shallow characters fail. Believe it or not, not everybody has read your favorite series. I KNOW! It's tough to swallow, but it’s true. Take a moment to tell us a bit about their appearance. Detail their mannerisms though story telling. Sure, you can assume if they're reading in a certain section they probably have at least basic knowledge of the series, but frankly, that's a poor excuse not to embellish your characters with detail and depth. Sure, everybody knows who Optimus Prime is (did I just use him as an example? Yeck), but your story will fail less if you paint him in color instead of black and white.
7) Your short chapters fail. Hardcore. Mainly, because they give you so little space to impart critical plot and/or knowledge to the reader, forcing you to condense a lot of information into a short blurp. This normally leads to failures 2-6. Similarly, you drag out scenes that really should be combined into one flowing work. For example, watching Ranma wallow in angst for several short chapters while not really taking the story anywhere is not fun. It's like watching an episode of DBZ once a week. It's excruciating.
8) Your derivative plot fails. Wheee! Ranma loses his memory after being locked as a female! Most readers are not opposed to this on average, but before you go thinking you're Stephen King, remember two things: Assume it's been done before and buy a six pack of originality down at the corner 7-11. Your story/chapter needs a hook, no matter how good it is. Just because it has been done doesn't mean you shouldn't try your hand at it, but do your research on the competition before you just dive right in.
9) Your reviewers fail. Actually, no they don't. They're entitled to their opinion. Don't get defensive and don't argue with them because you're inherently insecure about your work. Self confidence is required when facing your reviewers and actually debating their opinon on your work is bad taste. Honestly, why did you even bother posting in the first place? If you're writing for enjoyment, they shouldn't matter anyway. If you're writing to improve yourself, take notes. If you're writing for the warm fuzzy glow of praise, quit right now or stop failing so much. If you were that good, you wouldn't be posting fiction here. Nothing says insecurity and ass like a running review war. Yes, reviewers CAN be wrong, but so what? Arguing with them is a waste of your time anyway.
10) Your Altverse fails.What do you get when you strip your main character of his canon personality, kill off all the supporting cast and send him off into another xover series? You get one big bucket of suck. Any story where you can replace the main character with the name "Ed" and not know the difference automatically fails nine times out of ten. Do yourself a favor and assume you aren't that tenth time. Why did you even bother choosing that character and series to begin with if you were just going to piss all over the story and abandon it next chapter? Ha ha ha! Ranma doesn't have a curse, lost all his memories to the neko ken and has been training with Bruce Lee in the cyber wars of 2010! Of course that's ridiculous sounding, but it’s amazing how many aspiring authors totally divorce the characters from their original canon so completely. The sooner you accept the fact that you should scrub these fics from your hard drive with a brillo pad, the better.
Exceptions exist to nearly all of these rules. They probably don't apply to you, but hey, it's called a disclaimer for a reason.
If you will practice being fictional for a while,
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
So come ye childhood heros
"The worldly hope men set their hearts upon
"The moving finger writes; and, having writ,
The whisper of a secret,
A wisp of dreams lost,
A pinch of love spurned,
A hint of hope,
The sound of silence,
And a cat’s footstep.
All to make a simple miracle.
We are the writers,
We fabricate the line between myth and reality;
In our stories, we blur that line so myth becomes reality,
And reality becomes myth.
Words to live by...
I have a rendezvous with Death
It may be he shall take my hand
God knows 'twere better to be deep
What man’s land is the graveyard?
It is the crowded home of ghosts, -
Wise and foolish shoulder to shoulder.
The King of the Dead claims them all;
Man’s fate knows no tarrying
Where the road is dark and the seed is sowed
Where the gun is cocked and the bullet's cold
Where the miles are marked in blood and gold
I'll meet you further on up the road
‘Further On (Up The Road)’ by Bruce Springsteen
Water drowns and freezes.
Wind severs and rends.
Earth swallows and crushes.
Lightning sunders and scorches.
But all pales before fire, which smolders all without difference or distinction.
I must not fear.
-Bene Gesserit litany against fear.
"Before the Beginning of years,
In brightest day, in darkest night
Battle not with monsters
lest ye become a monster
and if you gaze into the abyss
the abyss gazes into you.
Beyond the reach of human range
A drop of hell, a touch of strange…
A heap of broken images, where the sun beats,
And the dead tree gives no shelter, the cricket no relief,
And the dry stone no sound of water. Only
There is shadow under this red rock,
(Come in under the shadow of this red rock),
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow in the morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
—T . S. Eliot
“The Waste Land”
"A Goddess wept, two lives untold,
The secrets hidden manifold,
A scorpion's tale will wait and strike,
the Ghost will rise and join the fight.
Born a human, raised by blade
will come to whispered element's aid
Defy the Gods and conquer Death,
Thy will is thine own recompense."
Though they go mad,
they shall be sane
Though they sink through
the sea, they shall rise again
Though lovers be lost,
love shall not
And death shall have no dominion.
We had a crystal moment
Snatched from the hands of time,
A golden, singing moment
Made for love and rhyme.
What if it shattered in our hands
As crystal moments must?
Better than earthen hours
Changing to lifeless dust.
The world makes perfect sense to those with faith.
So easily they comprehend it all.
There’s no such thing as ghost or ghoul or wraith.
So says the voice inside the crystal ball.
It tells them where to plant and what to eat
And even how the girls should wear their hair.
With it their own poor logic can’t compete.
It sometimes even seems to hear their prayer.
Can faith withstand a look behind the veil?
When crystal shards are plucked from out their eyes,
When faithful people see their godheads fail,
Will they then sift the truth out of the lies?
For oracles are sometimes only men,
And it’s not their war ready to begin.
An old Cherokee was teaching his grandchildren about life. He said to them, "A battle is raging inside me ... it is a terrible fight between two wolves. One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego. The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The old man fixed the children with a firm stare. "This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too."
They thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"
The old Cherokee replied: "The one you feed."
Suspension of Disbelief
I'm tired of know-it-alls folks. I've had it up to my proverbial ears with people who read the fics put on this site and think they know what the hell is going on. I'm talking about those of you who have lost your suspension of disbelief since you've begun reading fanfiction.
Don't know what suspension of disbelief is? Allow me to guide you through the darkness...
Suspension of disbelief is an occurence where you go into something where you partially know what's going to happen and yet still look at it as if it is a new occurence. Most people who watch movies go in with a suspension of disbelief. So do people who watch pro wrestling. And those who read books by the same author time after time.
Fanfiction readers need to find their suspension of disbelief again...and learn to sit back, shut the fuck up, and read the damn story for the hell of it again.
Just because you think you know what's going to happen doesn't mean it will. Fanfiction follows a very loose sense of guidelines to anything canon. Anything can happen outside the norm in fanfiction. Powerlevels go up and down. People can live or die. Yaoi happens. The point is that everything can be bent to the will of the author.
You folks need to learn that when you open up a new page to read a story you've never read before you need to leave all your preconceptions about canon at the door. Once you start to read, it should always, always be a new journey. Just because you read one of my stories doesn't mean they're all the same. They aren't. And just because you read one Stephen King book, does that mean that you know what the hell is going on in the next one?
Of course not.
It's time to get back that childish wonder we used to have, folks. It's time to rediscover why we visit this website. It's time for this to be fun again.
Remember, the next time you start to read a new fan fiction story, leave everything you know behind. Let the author tell the story and you'll be a lot happier. Read as if you'd never heard of canon. Read as if it's your first time to ever read a story...
...and relearn how enjoyable it is to just relax and read for fun...
A child, the child of my heart, though never of my name,
Young Healer, I have taught you all I know of wounds and pain-
But there is yet one lessoning I cannot give to you
However great your Gift there will be times when you will fail
And worst of all, and harder still, the times when it's a friend
This only will I council you; that if you build a shell
As you must, I have faced the fear, the pain in dying eyes
My child, your Healing hands are guided by your Healing heart
Where now the good Story?
Where is the original plot flowing, the romance growing, the battle-spell glowing?
Where is the wild wind blowing, the new seed sowing
They have passed like rain on the mountain, like a wind in the meadow.
Like birdsong through the trees have they gone down in the West.
Down behind the hills and into shadow, Yet the spark remains.
The final dying embers that rekindle the imagination, the few faint sparks that shall leap again to blaze at the call of the new master.
Again shall foe be met, shall blood be let.
Again shall the battle form, the minions swarm, the power storm.
Again shall the Child be called, the evil stalled, the readers enthralled
For all is not yet lost.
Disclaimer for all of my stories, in the interests of expediency:
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I have made no profit from this, and no (fur-bearing) animals were harmed during the creation of this document. Allergy alert: may contain nutmeg, but I doubt it. Return for refund where applicable. Not recommended for persons with sugar-restricted diets. Batteries are included -- best of luck finding them. Proud sponsor of the 1934 penguin Olympic games at McMurdo Sound, Antarctica. May cause irritability, sleeplessness or warts after prolonged use. Contents under pressure. BHT added to preserve freshness. Caution: this product has caused some laboratory rats to rip through their cages, fly across the room and brutally murder hundreds of innocent people. Shake well before using. No vacuum tubes or other user-serviceable parts inside. Not to be combined with other radio-isotopes except under the advice of a physician. Avoid prolonged exposure to ultraviolet light. Not intended for use by children or liberals under the age of five.