Author has written 2 stories for Harry Potter.
"Hello, Hello, Hello, How Low?"-Smells Like Teen Spirit (Did I really need to say where those lyrics came from?)
age: below the drinking age (but obviously above 14 yrs... and not 18 yrs)
name: Clematis, an alias (or is it??)
History/random info about life (It's not that interesting):
Hi, I'm Clematis! I'm an American, born in Florida, lived in Michigan for four years, and I won't tell you where I am now. I'm an A student, but I always fell like I could do better... I now go to a public preforming-arts and visual arts high school. I am a visual artist, so I love to sketch and draw! My favorite mediums to work with are: chalk, charcoal, pencil, mixed media and water color. Even though I love my art, it's my dream to become a politian! I know, that probably sounds like the most boring job in the world, but it isn't for me! I have strong political views, and one day I want to have my oppinions heard by more than just my friends. I also like to read, and listen to my music. I love: indie/rock/pop, rock, alternative,grunge rock, etc. I also enjoy quoting Kurt and Freddie Mercury and the occasional Eagles song in conversations, I like to see people's reactions.
MY TUMBLR: www.shelbyandclematis.tumblr.com
Quote of the Month:
"The writer, like a swimmer caught by an undertow, is borne in an unexpected direction. He is carried to a subject which has awaited him—a subject sometimes no part of his conscious plan. Reality, the reality of sensation, has accumulated where it was least sought. To write is to be captured—captured by some experience to which one may have given hardly a thought." Isn't it beautiful?
Here's something hilarious if you like warriors, if you're in love with Dovewing, or obssesed with her (I don't know why anyone would,) DO NOT READ THE SECOND PART BECAUSE YOU WILL BE OFFENDED.
Quick! Write Down 7 warrior cats in no particular order
Who would seven date; one or five?
Ummm… Would Dovewing date Briarlight or Hollyleaf. Neither…
What if two saw six make out with three?
What if Jayfeather saw Hawkfrost make out with Ivypool?!?!?! That would be hilarious, Jayfeather would have to HEAR them making out because he’s blind… He would say: Aha! I knew there had to be a reason why you were spending so much time in the Dark Forest, Ivypool! I can see in my dreams you know… right Stickie?
Have you ever read a fan fic about four?
No, I wish I had though, Nightcloud’s freakin’ hilarious!
What if five loved two?
Incest… You know, I always thought that Squirelflight was a horrible mother and had NO parenting skills, but you would think that she would have taught them about THAT.
What would seven do if one got hit by a car?
Ummm… something retarded, probably. After eating some fresh kill, she would go say to Jayfeather, “Oh I forgot to tell you Jayfeather, Briarlight got hit by a car, byes!”
What would two say if three went to live as a kittypet?
What would seven do if one killed four?
What would Dovewing do if Briarlight killed Nightcloud?!?!?!? Umm… Firestar! A crippled cat killed a windclan warrior!
1) Write down your five favorite cat's from warriors in no particular order!
2) What would you think about a name with 1's beginning and 4's ending?
Tigerfeather? That sounds retarded, it doesn’t even make sense! TIGERS DON’T HAVE WINGS!!!(???)
3) Would you consider naming a cat in your story 2's first name and 3's last name?
Hollypool? Hollyleaf would take that as an insult, LEAFPOOL SEE THOSE DEATHBERRIES?
4) Would you make fun of a cat named (5's first name & 2's last name)?
Fireleaf? Yes, that sounds really stupid. Erin Hunter is really losing her creativity, now!
5) What genre would a story be with a cat named (1's first name & 5's last name) as the main character?
Horror. TIGERSTAR YOU FREAKIN’ IDIOTS, OF COURSE IT’S NOT GOING TO BE A ROMANTIC COMEDY! “Goldenflower, I’m sorry my sweet flower, I’m leaving you for someone else…someone from the future!”
GF: “Who? Who!”
TS: “….. Jayfeather!”
JF: “Hell no, find someone else!”
TS: “….. LIONBLAZE!”
LB: Sleep-eating, (he’s sleepwalking while eating all of the fresh kill, suddenly wakes up with meat in his mouth,) “*munch, munch, munch.*”
TS: “I’ll take that as a ‘I love you too, Tigerstar my past lover!”
Me: What the…
6) What would you name a story with (2's last name & 1's last name) and (3's first name & 5's first name)?
Leafstar (wouldn’t that just be leafpool, now leader?) Hollyleaf would kill the whole clan… & Ivyfire?!?!
It would be titled this, “Thunderclan: How a strong, brave clan became a Mousebrained mess”
7) Write a prophecy meaning (1's last name and 3's first name) will save the clan from dogs? Starivy, “Only faith in the Stars and random shrubs on twoleg houses will save you from the slobbering, ball-chasing, beasts.”
8) What would (4's last name and 2's last name) look like?
Featherleaf? A fat, cross-eyed cat, that is a dull gray color with random stripes all over itself and ugly green eyes. Oh wait, that’s Dovewing minus the stripes!
9) What can you tell about (3's first name and 1's first name) just from their name?
Ivytiger? They’re probably a huge, abnormal looking medicine cat…
10) Do you think anyone uses the name (1's first name and 4's last name)?
Question of the week: Why are people obssesed with texting, on my phone it's a lot of work (I don't know about others,) I prefer to talk face-to-face.
Some basic facts you should know about me:
1 I love my music.(Nirvana, Great Lake Swimmers, Nada Surf, Vampire Weekend, Panic! At the Disco, My Chemical Romance, Sleigh Bells (NO THEY ARE NOT A XMAS BAND!), Sublime, Stars (NOT the country band, Stars); Pink Floyd, Wintersleep, Rouge Wave, Eagles, Queen, etc. etc.)
2 I suck at writing but I love to write. (does that make sense?)
3 I love to draw (I know, redundant)
4 I love A very potter musical and a very potter sequel, why don't they come out with a threequel?
5 Shane Dawson is the most awesome person on youtube ever. Just saying.
6 I'm very crazy
7 I wish I had a time machine
8 I read too much
9 I'm fantastic at Texas Hold em'!
10 I love the rain, especially thunderstorms
11 I love to bike!
12 youtube= awesome.
13 I am an awesome at applying make-up, especially eye makeup.
Things you should NEVER do on FanFic
1 I hate it when people are mean to others just because they think that they are better than them in some way. Or if they're a new writer, or if you don't think their story is good, so they decide to write a nasty flame and say "sorry i don't want to be mean, but your story sucks and your a terrible writter and your not creative what so ever, so you should end this story. So yah, I'm trying not to be mean, you suck, bye!XD"- DONT. Don't do that, please. You may be hurting someone more than you think. So all of you writers out there, if you ever see someone do this, please tell them off. I certainly do, but try to restrain yourself from going psycho on them, (believe me its hard)
2- DO NOT completely change an original charector's appearance or personality. It's just dumb. Example: Percy waited for annabeth under the oak tree, where she told him to meet her. Suddenly he heard stillettos hitting the pavement, he turned around and saw... ANNABETH? Annabeth now had violet eyes and black hair streaked with green. She also was wearing fishnets with 8 inch stillettos. Her leather mini was so short you could see her butt. And, her blood red corset bra-thing showed off a ridiculous amount of skin. Her face was completely done up and she was wearing smokey eyeshadow, then she said, "Yo, perc! Wanna come over here and..." you get the point. I hope.
3- DON'T make fun of someone else's story by creating a fic about it. I get it, with the whole "My Immortal" story, it was poorly written and terrible spelling. But, PLEASE. Why waste your time copy and pasting the story, then adding in your comments, loading it up to fanfic, comming up with a quirky title that will stand out among the other lame flames, then publish it? It takes way to long (for me at least) to do. Also, if you HAVE to make a flame-fic or else it will be the end of the world, then at least make your commentary appropriate and label it under the appropriate catergorie. Because, should a five year old run across that story...
"Mommy, what does F@#% mean?"
4- DON'T review YOURSELF on YOUR story 20 times, people will just see that and either: A laugh and will think that you're a looser (which you shouldn't think of anyone as) B write someting really nasty C write a fic making fun of it or D something else much worse that I can't think of. You might think: Who the Hades does that? But, some people actually do this AND have suffered the consequences.
5- DO NOT (more like TRY not) to make yourself into the main charecter. What tends to happen with people that make themselves the main charecter is this: OMG Clematis you are so cool, and so much prettier than all of us! Yeah and you have an unnormal amount of talents and you do everything perfectly and you also succeed at EVERYTHING! oh yeah and you have 50 friends and the one person who hates you is shunned because you're the main charecter and in this world you can do ANYTHING!!! OH yeah and every single boy/girl is super in love with you and they all want to date you and save you from monsters and make-out with you!...you get it. If you can avoid doing the previous, then go right ahead.
6- TRY NOT (I recomend DO NOT) make your main charector overly sexy/slutty/extremely beautiful/has every designer accessory. You WANT to try to make your charecters relatable. In your mind you think oh, she's super cool because she wears red mini dresses with fishnets and red lipstick and she's perfect... While the readers, who are trying to relate to your main charecter, will hate this charecter because they think that it is low class, gross, they feel like they can't measure up or relate to that in any way,and will ditch your story. Don't worry we've all made this mistake. Try to make their attire appropriate and make sure they have at least one to a few flaws, like their dress is too big, so they'll have to saftey pin it or they're having a bad hairday, and don't know how to fix it or, they have a pimple on their head, whatever. The less you show the more sexy/relateable your charecter is to the audience.
7- DO NOT MAKE GRAMMAR MISTAKES AND SPELLING ERRORS ON PURPOSE! Listen I cannot spell to save my life. So I get it if you can't spell and your computer is super anchient so it doesn't have spell check, and you don't have a dictionary, (but seriously if you don't have a dictionary (or don't use dictionary.com) then you need to seriously look into buying a dictionary.) Or maybe you are typing super fast and don't bother to proof read or you make 50 mistakes becaus its 2:40 in the morning...(me) whatever. But, if you are one of those types who are like OMGs I likes havs 2s writt evwie thinng wong so ill look supa kwai &s likes umms thiz strrory is weallies badds XD C: soos imz gonnas writtess evwie thingz w/0 anwies tings gwammor relawatted so peeeplez will tinks imz ca-ute. ha ha ha, lolo ttyfn I'm gonna only write in text messages ha ha ha rofl. xoxoxoxox foreva'sz gieysz. You and a few others MIGHT think thats cool or cute or fun, but really it's not and you are going to get a tsunami of flames.
8- DON'T DO WHAT I DO WHEN I WRITE. You're probably like what the... or YES. If you've read anything of mine you know A i'm not a good writer and B all i talk about is how much my writing sucks and how my story sucks and every thing sucks and I use the same word 50 times because I'm lazy which sucks. DON'T do what I do, I'm just writing the way I write because I'm lazy and because I write my stories at 2 in the morning, like now...
-I'll write the rest of my rules later because I'm extremely tired now...
CLEMATIS'S ADVICE FOR THE REAL WORLD:
1- Never, never EVER watch 2 girls 1 cup, I was forced into watching it, it was absolutely disgusting and I still have nightmares about it. Even though you might be curious, really, don't watch it. Unless you have a fetish for watching people eating poop, and doing other disgusting things, then I would not watch it.
2- Be yourself. Listen, I've gone through a lot of "phases" in middle school, none of them ever worked out. There will always be people who won't like you. No matter what kind of person you are. So, who cares if someone thinks you're weird? (I certainly don't.) Embrace your weirdness/quietness/craziness/(whatever) only good things come out of it. Take Shane Dawson. If he hadn't embraced his weirdness, he wouldn't be making a TON OF MONEY and wouldn't be famous. The only people who are weird, are the people are obsessed with making others feel like they are weird.
3- People can be complte arse-holes sometimes, (ok almost always.) So, they are going to be mean, cruel, and say some mean stuff about you. So the best thing to do is, don't show that they bother you, at all. You might think, I'm not showing that I'm upset, but in reality you are. So, work on your techniques, or whatever you have to do. Or, if you're like me, don't take shizz from anyone. Someone says, "Omg u look like u haz like a lill bit 2 mucch make upp en dat pic? LOL Me an Morrgy wer LOLing at it! LOL." (it was stage makeup that was extremely obvious for a play and that is exactly what they said, hence the quotation marks) I say: Yes, and you are practically naked in most of your pictures. Oh wait, you don't know what practically means, do you? (they didn't know what practically means, I was "LOLing" to myself.) So, I might sound like a complete... but, no one bothers me.
4- Stand up for yourself and what you believe in. Don't let people push you around. Ever. My faith is really looked down on where I go to school and in my town. So, when people (again) are being complete a-holes, and are saying things about it, I tell them off. Also, avoid the subject of religion, I never bring it up in conversations, I only defend myself. Also, try to avoid bringing up politics, it's hard for me. And, NEVER shove your beliefs down other peoples throats, (people are always doing that to me!) you WILL come across as a political/religious/whatever freak, even if you aren't. And, please, stand up for others as well, (even if you don't know them.) I certainly do, and I've made a lot of friends off of it.
Some things I would do if I could go back in time:
1 I would go to a gagillion different concerts
2 If I could go back to the 20's, I would be a surrealist
3 I would listen to Martin Luther King's I had a Dream speach
4 I would tell Marie Antionette and Louis 16th that they are dumbasses
and start being polititions and fix your problems instead of creating more debt!
5 Meet the philosphes of the Enlightenment period
6 Talk with Einstein the Relitivity Theory
7 Meet Julius Ceasar! (and tell him to be careful around Brutus)
8 Meet Justinian's wife, Theodora
10 See Rome and Egypt at its prime
11 Talk to Aristotale, Ovid, and Homer
12 I would explore the future, and what I would learn there was that everyone wished they could go back in time, to my time!
Two things I plan to accomplish: write more reviews than stories, and
write something decent.
The first seems the most likely, oh well.
And, I have one rule that I think some people need to consider adopting:
I will NOT write a story that has me in it or someone like me. My stories already
suck enough with out me in them. The only thing me and SOME of my charectors
will share is my taste in music.
Here's some quotes for all you Nirvana fans:
We're so trendy we can't even escape ourselves." -Kurt
Interviewer asks Dave: "So why did you go to school anyway?"
"If your a sexist, racist, homophobe or basically an arsehole don't buy this CD,
"Zits are beauty marks" - Kurt
"Thank you all for coming, you've been a wonderful audience. Have a safe ride home. Remember not to drink and drive. Remember to vote. Remember not to jaywalk. Remember not to take drugs while in the company of a minor... or in front of narcotics officers." - Chris
"I was driving and 'Teen Spirit' came on the radio, and I thought 'God, that really sounds like shit!'" - Dave
If you read these quotes and thought who the Hades are these people? They super freakin' awesome and you need to listen to them on itunes or pandora or something! I mean come on! Kurt wrote his first song on a wall when he was 5! The dude is a freakin' genuis!
Anywho, incase any of ya'll were wondering what kind of fics I like to write they are: PERCY JACKSON, and HARRY P AND RED PYRAMID and maybe a few immortal instruments...
Here's somethings I would do if I got to be in Percy J or Harry P books (they're not in any kind of important order):
1 I would tell Zeus to chill and to get over himself and if you were a mortal, you would be a pedo
2 Tell Hera she has some issues, but kudos to her for putting up with Zeus!
3 Tell Apollo that he is the YOUNGER twin
4 Steal Apollo's sun chariot
5 Tell Draco that, "your a douche and a prick, get over yourself, but I love ya! YOUR AWESOME!" I don't know what the response to that would be, probably confusion.
6 Tell Hermione that Ron says that you're SUPERMEGAFOXYAWESOMEHOT
7 Quote AVPM during class at Hogwarts
8 defeat someone with redvines and say, "Red vines, what the hell cant they do?"
9 OMZ-oh my zeus, OMP-oh my percy-omc-oh my chiron
10 Tell the Athena cabin that I accidently let my (10) pet black widdows loose in their cabin
11 Tell the aphrodite cabin that there's a phone call for "the hottest girl in camp" then give the phone to clarrise (after the cat fight)
12 Tell Ron that (I'm quoting the kids at my school) "Gingers don't have souls"
13 Call Hermione HER-MY-OH-ONE and Herman
14 Say to Firenze,"Its Firenze, our centaur friend!"
15 When I see Percy and Annabeth together, I'll shout ITS PERCABETH!!!
(I'll come up with some more later)