Author has written 5 stories for Naruto, Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, and Hetalia - Axis Powers.
Hi! My name is Kyuubi-Hime's WitchBlood360, I am currently seventeen; Turning eighteen (Whoop!), I go to a normal school, have normal friends, have a normal life (boring I know), my passions are Writing, Singing, Acting, Drawing, Reading, cooking and Basketball...
I AM A GIRL!!!!!!!!!! ;)
My dreams for the future are to become a secret spy... lol! Of course not its actually to become an acrtice/author/singer... have to think about this though.
I have Two younger sisters (TWO!!!!), a younger brother, a mother and a father. My sisters say I have an obsession with Manga/Anime (I assure you that I DO NOT!), I LOVE animals... I HATE spiders and I am currently trying to convince my family that I am not goth (losing that battle by a mile).
I am five foot four inches (way too short :'(), I have blue eyes blonde/brown/red hair (I know confusing) and I wear glasses. My hobbies are my passions... my passions are my hobbies. My name means dew of the sea... (Yeach) and I have a very... active vocabulary...
I speak two languages (English and Dutch(And yes, I am a Hollander!)) I am learning how to speak Spanish and I wish to learn Italian and Japanese.
I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES!!!!!
People say that I am a witch... which is not true but I am into those kind of stories... >.>
I am a peace maker and not a war starter, I am quiet (when i want to be), I stand up for my family, friends and what I believe in, I have an arch nemesis (I'm gonna kill you some day boy!), teachers love me (I have no clue why) and make real good desserts!!!!
what else is there?
Taang (Toph and Aang)
Lots of others! (AKA will get back on that)
Avatar: The Last Airbender
Ouran High School Host Club
Favourite T.V Shows:
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer
CSI New York
Characters I hate...
The Hyuuga elders
Konoha's elders (especially Danzo)
Fire Lord Ozai
Demons Daughter (Still in Progress...)
Stories coming in future...
Next one is a Buffy Story!
I challenge you all into writing me a Hetalia/Hinata fanfic and to send me a link when you have... It is your choice of pairing but MUST BE A PAIRING! (I am striving for creativity here). Reward is that I myself will write a story on any Crossover pairings you may wish. Oc's, anime's I do not know and such are also allowed... Just tell me the name of the anime and I will research it and write the story you wish me to write! Good luck!
Karla Kagurichi (Shira's Mother)
Sharoku Kagurichi (Shira's father)
Koturo Kagurichi (Shira's older brother)
Lokumo Tamu (Layla's father)
Mia Asenko (Hashuro's mother)
Aratu Asenko (Hashuro's father)
Hashinko Asenko (Hashuro's twin younger brother)
Ruyoku Hanamiko (Rinto's father)
Hirami Hanamiko (Rinto's mother)
Ayla Hanamiko (Rinto's younger sister)
Sanko Hanamiko (Rinto's baby sister)
Shinjitsu Hanamiko (Rinto's Other baby sister, twin to Sanko)
Kibishii Fuyu (Karu's father)
Tane Fuyu (Karu's mother)
Romy (Any surname sometimes!)
This is beautiful, please read
A drunk man in an Oldsmobile
They said had run the light
That caused the six-car pileup
On 109 that night.
When broken bodies lay about
And blood was everywhere,
The sirens screamed out eulogies,
For death was in the air.
A mother, trapped inside her car,
Was heard above the noise;
Her plaintive plea near split the air:
'Oh, God, please spare my boys!'
She fought to loose her pinned hands;
She struggled to get free,
But mangled metal held her fast
In grim captivity.
Her frightened eyes then focused
On where the back seat once had been,
But all she saw was broken glass and
Two children's seats crushed in.
Her twins were nowhere to be seen;
She did not hear them cry,
And then she prayed they'd been thrown free,
'Oh, God, don't let them die!'
Then firemen came and cut her loose,
But when they searched the back,
They found therein no little boys,
But the seat belts were intact.
They thought the woman had gone mad
And was traveling alone,
But when they turned to question her,
They discovered she was gone.
Policemen saw her running wild
And screaming above the noise
In beseeching supplication,
'Please help me find my boys!
They're four years old and wear blue shirts;
Their jeans are blue to match.'
One cop spoke up, 'They're in my car,
And they don't have a scratch.
They said their daddy put them there
And gave them each a cone,
Then told them both to wait for Mom
To come and take them home.'
'I've searched the area high and low,
But I can't find their dad.
He must have fled the scene,
I guess, and that is very bad.'
The mother hugged the twins and said,
While wiping at a tear,
'He could not flee the scene, you see,
For he's been dead a year.'
The cop just looked confused and asked,
'Now, how can that be true?The boys said, 'Mommy, Daddy came
And left a kiss for you.
He told us not to worry
And that you would be all right,
And then he put us in this car with
The pretty, flashing light.'
'We wanted him to stay with us,
Because we miss him so,
But Mommy, he just hugged us tight
And said he had to go.
He said someday we'd understand
And told us not to fuss,
And he said to tell you, Mommy,
He's watching over us.'
The mother knew without a doubt
That what they spoke was true,
For she recalled their dad's last words,
'I will watch over you.'
The firemen's notes could not explain
The twisted, mangled car,
And how the three of them escaped
Without a single scar.
But on the cop's report was scribed,
In print so very fine,
'An angel walked the beat tonight on Highway 109.'
This morning when the Lord opened a window to Heaven,
He saw me, and he asked: 'My child, what is your greatest wish for
I responded: 'Lord please, take care of the person who is reading this
They deserve it and I love them very much. '
What would you do?...you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?
At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its
Dedicated staff, he offered a question:
'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.
Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.
Where is the natural order of things in my son?'
The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'
Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of
belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.
I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninthinning..'
Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt.. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.
In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.
In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.
Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?
Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.
However, as Shay stepped up to the
The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.
The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.
The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.
Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.
Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!
Run to first!'Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.
By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . The smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.
He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.
Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.
All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'
Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!Shay, run to third!'As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'
Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team
'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.
Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!
AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:
We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate.
The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.
If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference.
We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.'
So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:
Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?
A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.
May your day, be a Shay Day.
MAY GOD BLESS EVERYONE WHO
DECIDES TO PASS THIS ON IN
MEMORY OF SHAY...
I Believe In God...
She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room.
She said:'How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right?
When can I see him?'
The surgeon said, 'I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make
Sally said, 'Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care any more?
Where were you, God, when my son needed you?'
The surgeon asked, 'Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the
nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university.'
Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to son. She ran
her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. 'Would you like a lock of
his hair ?' the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's
hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.
The mother said, 'It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the University for
Study. He said it might help somebody else. 'I said no at first, but Jimmy said,
'Mom, I won't be using it after I die Maybe it will help some other little boy
spend one more day with his Mom.' She went on, 'My Jimmy had a heart of gold.
Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could.'
Sally walked out of Children's Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending
most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on
the seat beside her in the car.
The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She
carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her
She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room
exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging
his pillow, cried herself to sleep.
It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed was a
folded letter. T he letter said:
I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you,
or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say 'I Love You'. I will
always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other
again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely,
that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you
decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys
do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know.
Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and
Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take
a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly.
And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw
Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD ! And guess what, Mom ?
I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important.
That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good bye
and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you know what Mom
? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I
think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to
you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked
Him 'Where was He when I needed him ?' 'God said He was in the same place with
me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is
with all His children.
Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you. To
everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool ? I have to
give God His pen back now He needs it to write some more names in th e Book of
Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm sure the food
will be great.
Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore The cancer is all gone.
I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to
see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get
me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that?
Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me.
IF YOU IGNORE THIS WITHOUT READING IT YOU HAVE NO HEART...BUT IF YOU FIND YOU CANNOT STOP UNTIL YOU REACH THE END THEN YOU MUST HAVE A VERY BIG HEART.
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)
RIP We shall remember
Her name was Auroura
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive
Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic
Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair
She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound
Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure
A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?
But she grabs her bear
And softly crys
She loves her parents
But they want her to die
She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"God, why? Why is
My life always sinking?"
Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did
Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by
Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made
She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless pest!"
The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying
Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse
One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor
It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms
If child abuse makes you sick and you think it's horrible and should be
stopped, put this poem on your profile.
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been
with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth
records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing
when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't
always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than
you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing
regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual
harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using
mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student,
only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that
they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It
declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to
administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform
parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband;
churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar
in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize
that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and
was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife,
Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To
Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized
he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the
majority and do nothing.
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.
You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.
You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?
I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.
If you're against abortion, re-post this.
Abortion is just wrong. Every life is precious. Help stop abortion.
The Differences Between Friends and Best Friends
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! We fucked up!"
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Bitch drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shittttt!!
Girls Don't Realize These Things:
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care
But most of all
For not being sorry anymore
That you can't accept me for who I am
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.
That I cared
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.
If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'
If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'
Rules to Dating My Daughter.
Rule one: If you pull into my driveway, you’d better be issuing an emergency delivery, because you’re sure not picking anything up.
Rule two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.
Rule three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys your age to wear their trousers so loosely, that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: you may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. But to ensure that your pants don’t, in fact, come OFF during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nailgun and fasten your trousers securely to your waist.
Rule four: I am sure that you have been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a ‘Barrier Method’ of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate; ‘When it comes to sex, I am the barrier and I WILL kill you.
Rule five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about Sports, Politics and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is ‘Early’. My sources have already informed on everything else about you, so there is no need for you to talk with me.
Rule six: I have no doubt that you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my Little Girl, you will continue to date no one BUT her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry…
Rule seven: As you stand in my front Hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. She is putting on her make-up, a process that can take longer than carving the ENTIRE Mount Washington. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like take out the garbage or do the dishes?
Rule eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: places where there are beds, sofa’s, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, Police, or Nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is Dancing, Hand Holding, or Happiness. Places where the Ambient Temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, or anything other than overalls, a sweater and a Goose down Parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic theme are to be avoided. Movies that feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old Folks Homes are even better.
Rule nine: Do not lie to me on issues relating to my daughter. I am the All-Knowing, Merciless God of your Universe. If I ask where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and well over five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for an onslaught of deadly Gang Members trying to break in and terrorize my household. When the memory of my Ol’ Special Police Force days start acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the Pistols and Shotguns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway, you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight, speak the Perimeter Password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car. There is need for you to come inside. The camoflaged face in the window is me…
If You Fail To Obey These Rules
YOU WILL PAY!
If your Dad is really like this, copy paste to your profile so that other girls like you can have a bit of a laugh...
I am the Boy who never finished High School, because I got called a Fag everyday.
I am the Girl kicked out of her Home, because I confided in my Mother that I'm a Lesbian.
I am the Prostitute working the Streets, because no one will Hire a Transsexual Woman.
We are the Parents who Buried our Daughter long before her time.
I am the Man who died Alone in the Hospital, because they would not let my Partner of 27 Years into the room.
I am the Foster Child who wakes up with Nightmares of being taken away from the two Fathers who are the only loving Family I had ever had. I wish they could Adopt me. I am not one of the Lucky Ones. I killed myself two weeks before Graduating High School. It was too much to Bear.
We are the Couple who had the Realtor hang up on us, because she found out we wanted to rent a One-Bedroom for two Men.
I am the Person who never knows which Bathroom I should use if I want to Avoid getting the Management called on Me.
I am the Mother who is not even allowed to even visit the Children I Bore, Nursed and Raised. The Court says that I am an unfit Mother, because I now live with another Woman.
I am the Domestic-Violence Survivor who found the Support System grow suddenly Cold and Distant when they found out my Abusive Partner is also a Woman.
I am the Domestic-Violence Survivor who has no Support System to turn to, because I am Male.
I am the Girl who believes that God killed my Uncle, because the day before I started dating my first Girlfriend.
I am the Father who has never hugged his Son, because I grew up Afraid to show affection to other Men.
I am the Home-Economics Teacher who always wanted to teach Gym, until somebody told me 'Only Lesbians do that'.
I am the Woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they reasiled I was a Transsexual.
I am the Person who feels Guilty, because I think I could be a Much Better Person if I didn't always have to deal with Society hating Me.
I am the Teenager who got kicked off an All-Girls Swim Team, because I told one of the Coaches about my Girlfriend.
I am the Man who Stopped attending Church, not because I don't Believe, but because They Closed Their Doors to my Kind.
I am the Person who has to Hide what this World needs the most: Love.
I am the Person Ashamed to tell my Friends that I am a Lesbian, because They constantly make Fun of them.
I am the Girl who Held her Gay Brother through all the Crying Nights.
I am the Boy, Tied to the Fence, Beaten to a Bloody Pulp and Left to Die, because two Straight Men wanted to 'Teach me a Lesson'.
Now I only have one question for all the people who read this note: Why are we the ones who decide what is Right and Wrong in Society? Who are we to Decide where people should Live, What they should Do, and Who and What they should Date? Copy paste to your profile if you agree...
I just realized some things...
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle .
A place where women curl up and dye.
Someone who is fed up with people.
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper .
An insect that makes you like flies better.
Grape with a sunburn.
Something you tell to one person at a time.
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
The pain that drives you to extraction.
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
An honest opinion openly expressed.
And MY Favorite!!
Something other people have, similar to my character lines.
1 Real name : Romy M.T. Smit
2. Nickname : Ro, Roms, Romeo, Cookie, Crack.
3. Zodiac Sign: Virgo
4. Male or Female: Female :D
5. Elementary School: Nairobi Waldorf School... :) The good old days!
6. Middle School: Nairobi Waldorf School...
7. High School: Hillcrest Secondary School
8. Hair color: Blonde (Brown and Red highlights)
9. Tall or short:Short
11. Sweats or Jeans: Sweats
12. Phone or Camera: Phone
13. Health freak: Kinda...
14. Orange or Apple: Apple!
15. Do you have a crush on someone?: Nah...
16. Eat or Drink: Eat
17. Piercings: Ear piercings...Only one on each ear though :'(
18. Pepsi or Coke: Coke
HAVE YOU EVER?
19. Been in an airplane: Obviously!
20. Been in a relationship: Yes
21. Been in a car accident: Nope
22. Been in a fist fight: Yes
23. First piercing: Ear piercings
24. First best friend(s): Mariam, Rebecca and Didi
25.First award : Don't remember :/
26. First crush: Someone called Michael in Kindergarten... 0///.///0
27. First word: Papa
29. Last person you talked to in person: Nicky and Kate (My sisters)
30. Last person you texted: Hmmm... Mariam Likimani... My Friend
31. Last persons you watched a movie with: My Sisters
32. Last food you ate: TOAST!
33. Last Movie You Watch: P.S I Love You... So Sad... :(
34. Last song you listened to: Diamonds and Rust-Blackmores Night
35. Last thing you bought: Food for the week... with my sister Kate...
36. Last person you hugged: Dad
37. Food: Yes Please! ;) (Burger with fries...)
38. Drinks: Orange Juice
39. Bottoms: Loose pants, Sometimes Jeans...
40, Flower: Lilacs
41. Animals: ALL OF 'EM!!!!!!!!
42. Colors: Purple, Red and Black
43. Movies: A LOT!!!!
44. Subjects: Ancient History, Drama, Food and Nutrition, Music, Art, Spanish and English Lit.
45. fallen in love with someone? Not yet...
46. celebrated Halloween? Nope...
47. had your heart broken? Yup... :/
48. went over the minutes/texts on your cell phone? Yeah
49. had some one question my sexual orientation? WTF!! But sadly... yes
51. got pregnant? Nope!
52. had an abortion? Nope!
53. did something I regret? Uh-huh
54. broke a promise? umm... let me get back to that... nope
55. hid a secrete? Yup!
56. pretended to be happy? Yes, But my friends always see through it... NO POKER FACE!!!!
57. met someone who changed your life? Hell yeah! :D
58. pretended to be sick? Seriously? which human hasn't done that... YEAH!
59. left the country? OMG... OBVIOUSLY!
60. tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it? Yes
61. Ran a mile?...Unfortunately... yes... every fuckin year...
63. went to the beach with your best friend? Yeah...
64. got into an argument with your friends? Yup!
65. hated someone? YES
66. stayed single for a whole year? YUP... and am still single...
67. Eating: Just finished lunch
68. Drinking: Hot Coco
69. Listening: To Evenescence
70. Sitting/Laying: Behind the Computer... DUH!
71. Plans for today: Chill at home...
72. Waiting: For mom to come home...
73. Want kids: One day... Don't know how many ;)
74. Want to get married? Yes!
75. Career: Actress/singer/chef/author/English Lit. Teacher...
76. Lips or eyes: Both
77. Shorter or taller: Taller
78. Romantic or spontaneous?: Both
79. Nice stomach or nice arms? Both
82. Looks or personality?: Personality...Looks would be a bonus! :)
83. Lost glasses/contacts: *Groans* Yes...
84. Snuck out of a house: Nope...
85. Held a gun/knife for self defense: HELL NO!
86. Killed somebody: WTF! NEVER!
87. Broken someone's heart: Not that I'm aware of...
88. Been in love: Yup...
89. Cried when someone died: Yes... :( NOOPY!
WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
90. Yourself: YES.
91. Miracles: Yes
92. Love at first sight: ummm... maybe
93. Heaven: YESSSSS
94. Santa Claus: Nope... USED TO!!
95. Sex on the first date: NO, THAT'S JUST SLUTTY!
96. Kiss on the first date: Depends...
97. Is there one person you want to be with right now?: Yes :D
98. Do you know who your real friends are?: I think so... Yeah
99. Do you believe in God?: YES!
100. Post as 100 truths?:
Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 100 Truths about you. At the end, choose 25 or more people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.
How to Deal with Dutch People :)
(1) Many foreigners call everything Dutch…well…'Dutch'. Don't! The word Dutch reminds Dutch people of the word Duits which is used for Germans and other things he dislikes. A Dutch person is a Hollander or a Nederlander.
(2) As a foreigner, don't ever try to speak Dutch. Not only will you get an enormous headache but the Hollanders will not understand what you mean. Foreigners are supposed to speak English or Gibberish. In the latter case they will be an easy target for pickpockets since they will not be able to talk to the police.
(3) Don't ever try to eat 'drop'. (Dutch Licorice) Drop is a sort of candy that can only be eaten by Hollanders. It can be recognized by the colour: black. The taste is a blend between earwax and paint (black). Hollanders absolutely adore the stuff and eat many kilo's of it. There is a nationwide conspiracy to look at the faces of foreigners that were made to believe the stuff is actually edible.
(4) Don't buy wooden shoes. They will look completely ridiculous. Which is the reason they will try to sell them to you. A Hollander himself would not want to be found dead wearing them.(Preferably a Hollander doesn't want to be found dead at all).
(5) Don't make holes in the dikes. Such behaviour is commonly disapproved and in extreme cases it can get you stoned by wooden shoes. But feel free to put your finger in the dike if you feel the urge. It will at least get you a few laughs from the natives.
(6) A Hollander is always right and he knows it. With this in mind it is very easy to cope with most Hollanders. If you ever get in an argument with a Hollander, tell him he was absolutely right and that you now realize how wrong you were. Now he will go crazy: Since you're a foreigner, you can never be right. You agree with him, therefore he couldn't be right. Impossible. He's a Hollander. But…then…he…Now is the time to take a step back and observe how the Hollander will try to strangle himself with a tulip.
(7) Mills are inevitable.
(8) It is not necessary to fake interest for tulips, mills, wooden shoes or cheese. Every Hollander knows you came for the soft drugs and the Amsterdam red-light district. Both are widely spread and easy to find. Just ask any Hollander over age 6 or a French tourist. (See points 19 and 20)
(9) Avoid soccer fans at all times. Soccer in Holland is just an excuse to crush the skulls of practically everybody else, including yours. This mainly takes place when the game is lost…or tied…or won. It is extremely foolish to stand next to a cop during these festivities (see point 10) Also remember never to mention the 1974 cup finals near a Hollander. He will instantly pull you into a long-lasting litany about how good 'Orange' played then and how good…blablablabla…
(10)Cops in Holland are mainly used to throw stuff at. If you get the uncontrollable desire to hit someone, take on a cop. No Hollander will pay any attention if you hit a cop, put a knife in his cranium or firmly kick him in the butt. Cops represent authority and not one Hollander recognizes a higher authority then himself. You will notice the fact that most cops are actually foreigners that were lured into this job.
(11)Hollanders do not like spending money. They would rather cut of an ear. A Hollander will be your friend for life if you give him something for free. This might explain the great success of McDonalds in Holland. The story that copper wire is an invention of two Hollanders fighting over a found cent is absolutely true.
(12)Holland is small. It is sometimes rumoured that Holland is so small they take it inside when it's raining. This is not true because it rains 365 days a year. This also explains the wooden shoes: they float. Yes…Holland is small and Hollanders are very proud of it. They will use any opportunity to say that Holland accomplished such great things for such a small country. A fitting answer would be to refer to it's colonial past. Which brings us to point 13.
(13)If you want to insult a Hollander - and sooner or later you will want to - tell him you don't think he's a pacifist. Now start running for your life. He will not stop trying to prove he's the most peace-loving person in the world until your intestines are on the street. As mentioned earlier, mentioning the so-called colonial past in Suriname or Indonesia, will instantly reduce the Hollander to a sniffling child, begging for forgiveness.
(14)Hollanders are supposed to be tolerant. Nonsense. They just make too much money selling drugs and Malaysian women, to miss the opportunity to make so much profit.
(15)The most important way of public transportation in Holland is the bicycle. Feel free to take any bike of which you can pick the lock. Just don't expect your own bike to be in the same spot where you parked it 3 minutes earlier. Hunting season for bikes is open 365 days a year. Good luck!
(16)At almost every bread meal in Holland you will find a mean looking big knife with a sharp slide in it. It is called a 'kaasschaaf' and is used to cut very thin slices of cheese (Yes, it's a Dutch invention). Never cut cheese with a regular knife, you will make yourself completely ridiculous. Another typical eating tool is the so-called bottlescraper. Beware, don't use it for that annoying itch on your back. It's designed to scrape the last bits of yoghurt or mayonnaise out of the bottle. A Hollander will use every millimeter of the product he bought. He paid for it, he'll eat it, no matter what.
(17)At the time this was written, the Dutch economy was doing pretty good. Hollanders maintain the idea that this is the result of intensive negotiations between different parties like unions, employers and politicians. They even have a name for it: the poldermodel. One likes to convince foreigners this poldermodel is the key to a successful economy and if those same foreigners would be smart enough to follow their example, their economy would be flourishing as well. This is a load of crap. Hollanders just like to talk, talk, talk. By calling all this chattering negotiating they give themselves the impression they're doing something useful. Talk is never cheap in Holland.
(18)Hollanders drown fried patato-sticks (Chips) in litres of mayonnaise and put it in a pointed paper bag. This is called : Een patatje met. One such bag is able to keep you alive for an unlimited period of time. It is only uncertain if this is a life worth living. But there have been sightings of tourists actually enjoying a patatje met.
(19)Holland has a unique service for -mainly- France tourist. At the moment they pass the border, they are enthusiastically welcomed by youngsters in fast cars. These youngsters have the explicit wish to show these tourists the way to the many interesting tourist-attractions Holland has to offer. Strangly, they always end up in a coffee-shop or drug house though. (see point 20) Weird people, the French.
(20)There is a fast and foolproof way of embarrassing yourself in Holland.Enter a coffeeshop and ask for a cappuccino with a biscuit. Coffeeshops -remember this- do not sell coffee. They do however have a large variety of stimulating products at reasonable prices. For unknown reasons, coffeeshops are very popular amongst young French tourists.
(21)A 'Fries' is a sort of spare-Hollander that lives in the north in a province all for themselves. They love frozen water, Beerenburg (a form of euthanasia with alcohol) and endlessly pointing out that other Hollanders are not Fries. The rest of Holland looks at this behaviour the same way parents will look at an obstinate child.
(22)When it comes to what books to bring to Holland, I would advise the following:The complete works of William Shakespeare or a leather-bound part of the Encyclopaedia Brittanica (part Fr to He of the 1913 edition). Both books have about the proper weight to keep a pushy pimp or dealer away from you with a well aimed swing. After this I would advice you to drop the book since this greatly improves your speed during your getaway. Make sure you bring enough books.
(23)Don't bother renting a car. Not only will you be able to steal more bikes then you can use but car traffic in Holland is not something to enjoy. Where the rest of the world uses kilometres to express the lengths of traffic jams, in Holland these are measured in weeks. To be honest, the most steadfast ones are worth a visit. The sight of starving people in an expensive Mercedes can greatly improve your mood if your somewhat philosophical. Bring some pieces of bread to throw through the open windows. The fights over them are often very spectacular.
(24)In contradiction of many rumours, it is not legal to bring your mother in law to Holland for do-it-yourself euthanasia. Tourists are warned not to take matters into their own hands.
(25)Whether you're catholic, Muslim or worshipper of Urrrgl the god of all Honest politicians, in Holland it will be easy to find a church, temple or oak tree of your liking. Hollanders are supposed to be very tolerant to other religions and believes. This is not true. The only reason Holland has so much churches, sects or cults is the fact they have a difference in opinion about everything. A Hollander is always right (see point 6) and everyone that does not agree can beat it and start his own church.
(26)Holland is a kingdom.It just doesn't have a king but a queen and her husband is not king but a prince. The queen does not rule -much- but she's very capable in cutting ribbons and visiting other countries. She is also very decorative at state banquettes. Her son, the crown prince, will take over if she stops queening. His wife in turn will be queen so that Holland will finally have a king and queen again.April 30 is queensday but it is not the birthday of the queen but princes Juliana's, who used to be queen. With things like this it's only logical that more and more people want Holland to be a republic. Queensday, by the way, is just an excuse to drink lots of beer and sell all their old junk on the streets.
(27)It would be wise to learn how to swim before you come to Holland.No, the dikes will hold, that's not the problem, but the large amount of lakes, streams, rivers canals and creaks could lead to painful mistakes. That shiny new strip of asphalt you're turning on to with your car during rain might not be an asphalt road at all.
(28)Dutch painting.Dutch painters get famous after they die. This is a very sensible rule from the buyers point of view. Not only will the artist have to make a lot of paintings to earn a living, it also produces some very nice investments. The painters however do not share this opinion and in at least one case this lead to selfmutalation of an ear.
(29)If one of your Dutch friends invites you for a birthday, prepare for a unique experience. Unique in the way that you can only compare it to taking a seat in a wooden chair with a sharp nail driven trough the seat and afterwards not being able to move for a month. More then one foreigner has been driven to the brink of madness by attending a Dutch birthday. The regular Dutch birthday party consists mainly of sitting still and talking to others about your job, your car, politics and foreigners. You are expected to leave somewhere about 23:00 and you will be grateful you can.
(30)Holland has more cities then Amsterdam.There is…eh…and…Well, there are more cities.
(31)Dutch beer has built up quite reputation for itself. Some people even drink it! Brewing is one of the things Hollanders are traditionally very good at. Holland has never been a country where anything was more interesting then drinking yourself half blind or painting landscapes. This made the beer industry very popular rapidly. Expert say that once you've tasted Dutch beer like Heiniken, Grolsch or Amstel, all other kinds of beer taste like tap water in a lousy hotel.
(32)Dutch tap water is safe to drink. This is remarkable if you realise most of it comes from polluted rivers like the Rhine. Plans to improve the waterquality in the Rhine so that fish like the salmon can return there to mate, invokes a lot of protests from the Dutch. The idea of fish having sex in their drinking water upsets them.
(33)Dutch political debates are as boring as a 3-day lecture on famous Swedish sport heroes between 1762 and 1809.No shouting like 'Hear hear!!', no fistfights in front of a camera, not even politicians calling each other incompetent once in a while. (And there really are some amongst Dutch politicians). No, telling your opponent you have doubts about his policy is about the worst thing you can say. The result is that the interest for elections dropped drastically amongst Dutch voters. At the last voting only two elects showed up. The first one got lost on his way to the toilet and the second one was an illegal refugee who thought he came to the right place to get a visa.
Slow Dance :'(
Have you ever watched kids On a merry-go-round?
You better slow down Don't dance so fast,
Do you run through each day On the fly?
You better slow down
Ever told your child "we'll do it tomorrow"
You better slow down
When you run so fast to get somewhere,
This poem was written by a termonally ill teenage girl, Diagnosed with Cancer. This young girl has 6 months left to live, and as her dying wish she wanted to send a letter telling the everyone to live their life to the fullest, since she nevry will... She will never have the chance to go to prom, Graduate from high school or get married and have a family of her own... :'(
Xx Chocl8 Puddingland xX
I live i a world called chocl8 Pudding land... where purple monkey's eat rainbows and poop butterflys... the popcorn grannys that live by heiniken lake will sit on the ever-green coffe and tea company knitting the spider of fury a giant sweater... :) i'd love to help them but.. well.. my socks don't match.. in other news, LUMOVILLE rescently had a power cut.. i dont know how they all survived through it.. i heard the bunny-ness monster baked doughnuts and decided to feed all the little light bulbs of LUMOVILLE... how sweet... but the hippo that lives in broccoli castle who's feet are alwys wet felt greedy and stole the bunny's feet... poor bunny... he can't get to the fanfare now!! ther'll be candy moose and fluffy moshrooms with polka dancers and polka dots!! :D ooh i cant wait till the fan fare!! it's gonna be fun!! :D :) I hope th banana elf will be there... i want my shoe back... the thing about the the banana elf is, he'll only steal ONE shoe... strange.. but ya! so your left walking around with one shoe... i hope he gives me back my shoe... Speaking of shoes i like fliop-flops... there comfortable.. am i making sense... i hope i am... it would be knda weird if youre reading this and have no idea what i'm talking about.. wait... what am i taliking about??... OH! right... chocl8 pudding land... where purple monkey's eat rainbows and poop butterflys...Might go visit Chocl8 pudding land again... :) with the Wawas and the flat footed hill billys that paint limes yellow to look like lemons... plate blancing shoelaces eating corn dogs and wearing purple wigs on fire... Grrrr banana elf! How dare you burn my shoe alive! Grrrr... :( oh! By the way... The funfare kicked shmugugi's ass! :D the cotton candy concrete was a blast as well as the under water fireworks at heiniken lake!.. Where is that butler?... :D go black leather grannys! Couldn't have done it without ya'll! :D keep practicing the electric triangle!... Mmmm...
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