Teacher: sum up america in one sentence.

Me: a bunch of morons doing the impossible.

Teacher: you live in america though.

Me: so?

Warning: Trespassers will be shot, Survivors will be shot again.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go back and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13 Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list. AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself

HAve you murdered your murderer today?????????

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next
week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you

When life hands you lemons make Apple juice then sit back while people try to figure out how the heck you did it!!

"It takes an idiot to do cool things...that's why they're cool. - FLCL

"If the opposite of Pro is Con then the opposite of Progress is Congress" - random thought.

"Yes!" "No!" "What was the question?" - me

"There is a fine line between sanity and insanity, and I have white out" - me

"In War - Victory, In Peace - Vigilance, In Death - Sacrifice" - The Grey Wardens (Dragon Age Origins)

B.O.H.I.C.A.: Bend Over Here It Comes Again

F.U.B.A.R. : F#cked up beyond all recognition

S.N.A.F.U. : Situation Normal All F*cked Up

A.D.O.S.D : Attention Deficit Oh Shiny Disorder (Friend says I have this)

F.O.C.U.S. : F*ck Off Cuz Ur Stupid - T-shirt

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F. : Do I Look Like I Give A F*ck! - Necros Chris

Its's a Stupid idea, I'll go first - Girlfriend to Me

What color is the Sky in your world - Me to friends daughter

The Angel on my shoulder was gang raped by the devil from the other shoulder and the voices in my head - Me to friend about decisions made.

"Madness & Sanity are labels given by society...and I am Anti-Social" - Me

"I am fluent in three languages. English, Sarcasm and Profanity." Girlfriend to me

"I am right 97 percent of the time, who cares about the other 4 percent." - my t-shirt.

Links for the pictures of

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http:///art/Jungle-Scout-108923496

Reason For the Hiatus: Recently Life has kicked me in the dick and shit in my mouth. Ok so here's the situation, I had moved out of my old house and into a home I was renting, a series of events with the other renters forced me to leave early and end up stuck back home, my Job has been beating the hell out of me, and I just recently moved back into my new apartment, with the cut backs at work for hours I'm barely managing to pay rent and electric, and I've been forced to use my mobile hotspot as the internet, not to mention the recent medical hoops I had to jump through the just to apply for the police academy to become an officer and make more money, with everything pilling down at once my motivation had plummeted and I've had bouts of lazy depression. I've improved a bit and Am not only working on some of the published on this site storied but a few new ones and I have my own original story in the works to be released hopefully as the first of a three part series maybe five part series once the first is finished, I'm building it to where I can continue past three books if I want. My issue is the same problems from before killed the book two hundred pages in and its going to hit around four hundred to five hundred before being sent to editing. since it killed it I've hit a brick wall reinforced with steel thats keeping me from progressing since I keep looking over the work I've done, and while proud I find myself unable to keep up, I have to motivation but I'm currently pushing it off hoping that by watching Anime and TV and Movies I might see something to inspire a new angle to reach my goal. So far I've had some small Ideas but nothing to jumps out at me making me move forwards with it.

Ah how I havent updated in so long. Anyways to anyone who deigns to actually get to this point in the profile i commend you, further than that the current date for this update is. November 30th 2017. I am working on a new crossover, one with which I have large plans, my reason for basically dropping Begin Again, and Beyond The Gate, is quite simple. I have had issues in life, its caused me to lose my drive towards the two. I have recently gained it back, so it may not be long until Begin Again will be updated although Beyond the Gate I may be overhauling the Prologue to make it more flushed out and keep it from seeming choppy before I do an update. The New Crossover has re-sparked my interest in the two and I am glad for that but this new Crossover is ment to evolve, grow into a multific through a fairly unique (by my definition) way. It's unique in the form that while the basic idea is something used before its been changed drastically its not as boring and brings a whole new way to doing what was done before.