good or best friend!
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.
A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.
A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.
A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.
A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.
A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.
FRIEND;WILL HELP ME LEARN HOW TO DRIVE. BEST FRIEND;WILL HELP ME ROLL THE CAR INTO THE LAKE SO I CAN COLLECT INSURANCE
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If your different in a good way put this in your profile.
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"
If you hate Cartoon Network for the cancellation of the Teen Titans, THEN COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! What passes for entertainment in the cartoon industry nowadays is truly sad.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! Actually, I believed I have been promoted to 'certifiably insane' quite a while ago.
If sarcasm is your first and favorite language, then copy & paste this into your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE then it's strange. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.
97 percent of teenagers would cry if they saw Robert Patterson (Edward Cullen from Twilight) standing on top of a sky scraper, about to jump. If you’re one of the 3 that would sit there eating popcorn screaming 'DO A FLIP!', copy and paste this into your profile.
Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916
Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843
Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since1900
Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916
Edward Cullen: Faster Than You since 1901
Emmett is the Strongest,
Edward is the fastest,
Carlisle is the smartest
Bella is the one we envy
Jacob is the SUN
But Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make you feel jealous.
Here's a joke...
there are 3 men who need to get across a lake...
the 1st one prays to God asking for the strength to get across...
he gets big muscles and swims across...
but almost dies 5 times...
the 2nd 1 prays to God for the strength and the tools he needs to get across...
he gets his big muscles and boat and rows across...
but he almost dies 3 times...
the 3rd 1 prays to God, for the strength, tools, and the brains...
he turns into a woman...
walks 4 yards...
and crosses the bridge
I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak, either behind my back, or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.
But I am also the girl who knows and is proud of who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing things no one seems to have the time to do anymore, who loves and is obsessed with Harry Potter (I still love HP but am obsessed with TDI), who can express herself better without words than with words, and knows the importance of the little things.
Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.
~PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, creative-writing-girl13, Jasper 1006, DubbleV, iStartRiots, CourtneyXDuncanForver, musicaltheatergirl-dxc4eva, SamanthaFenton, VampireloverD, vampirelover911~
join the dark side, we have COOKIES
Its you and me against the world... we attack at dawn
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS THINGS COULD GET WORSE.WHEN THEY ARE AS WORSE AS THEY CAN GET,IT CAN ONLY GET BETTER
My knight in shining amour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the hell is the ceiling?
The road to success is always under construction.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?
Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.
No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.
When life gives you a lemon, throw the lemon back and demand chocolate
I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
I live in my own little world- but it's ok, they know me there.
The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.
Oh, I have a photographic memory... it just hasn't developed yet
I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns. But those bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again...
Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun
Engineering: 'How will this work?' Science: ‘Why will this work?' Management: 'When will this work? Liberal Arts: ‘Do you want fries with that?
God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.
I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.
Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is human’s way of saying you can't fire me, I quit.
I hear your silence loud and clear.
Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow?
How can I miss you if you never left?
I'm not with stupid anymore!
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more.
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!
Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls… and poles… and other stuff…
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought…
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
Tell the truth and run.
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...
Why do people say, “You can't have your cake and eat it too?” Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?
When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own damn lemonade.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Don't mess with me I've got a stick.
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.
I ran with scissors, and lived!
I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.
Stupidity can hurt, I broke a rib laughing at you
You? Die? You're too mean to die.
Okay, that was amusing at first, but now it's somewhat scary
We should have thrown you in the dungeon years ago
Or we could eat you. I never had rat before, but with the right sauce, who knows?
At last! My plans for world domination are complete! MAHAHAHAA? Oh look, something shiny...must go look.
"Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing."
If you can't fix it with duck tape you haven't used enough!
I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on eBay.
"I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose"
"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies natural desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.
"Join the Vampires; we have Jasper Hale."
The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.
To put it nicely, I hope you choke.
Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot.
I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!
You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.
I did what they say and chose the road less traveled...Now where the heck am I?
Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.
At least I don't CARE what those mindless people think of me.
This world is full of crazy people.THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER!!
I'm here because Heaven wouldn't take me,and hell was afraid I'd take over.
I'm not afraid of Death.What's he gonna do,kill me?
When I'm at Deaths door, I'm going to ring the bell and run like mad.
Boys are like slinkys, useless but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
Get to know your stalker, they'll be there for a while.
female come backs
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man: Is this seat empty?
Man: Your place or mine?
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Man: "Haven't we met before?"
If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"
1. A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."
2. A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
3. On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her.
4. A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."
5. One day a teacher brings in a bag of fruit to class. She says the first fruit is round, plump, and red. Johnny raises his hand and the teacher ignores him and calls on Jack. Jack says its an apple and the teacher says no, its a beet but i like your thinking. the teacher pulls out another fruit and says it soft fuzzy and reddish brown Johnny waves his hand and the teacher ignores him and calls on samantha and she says its a peach the teacher says no, its a potato but i like you thinking. She pulls out another piece of fruit and says it long yellow and kinda hard. johnny is jumping out of his seat to answer the question but she ignores him and calls stewart and he says its a banana and she says no its a squash but i like your thinking. So Johnny is really angry and shouts HEY TEACHER I HAVE ONE FOR YOU!! then johnny reached into his pocket and grabbed something and shouted again ITS ROUND, HARD, AND HAS A HEAD. the teacher shouted JOHNNY THAT IS GROSS!! but johnny said no its a quarter but i like your thinking.
6. A chinese man has 3 daughters
25 Things I Learnt From My Mother
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
10 Commandments of a Teenager
1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
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