Author has written 1 story for Spirited Away.
This is this cat.
This is is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is a cat.
This is dumbass cat.
This is busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
This is seconds cat.
Now go back and read the third word in each sentence from the top. Pass it on.
God created man before woman because every masterpiece needs a rough draft.
MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men!
I only know how to do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and my way... which is the wrong way only faster.
To catch me you got to be fast, to find me you got to be smart, but to be me? Damn you must be kidding...
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself . So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
.:I walk in the rain because I don't care if I get wet:.
.:I wear hand-me-downs because there are more important things in life than mobbing malls for new clothes:.
.:I'm quiet in school because everyone's to much of a stereotype to listen to what I have to say:.
.:I like to read so I can get engrossed in imaginary worlds:.
.:I like to write because I feel safer in my Imagination:.
Therapist = the / rapist... scary thought
They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
"The dinosaur’s extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."
F.E.A.R. Fuck Everything And Run.
SUPPORT THE BUNNY!! Copy and paste this into ur profile to help the bunny accomplish
Paste the bunny on your profile and join the dark side! (We have cookies!)
NARUTO YO'MOMMA JOKES:
Yo'momma so fat even naruto doesn't believe it!
Yo'momma so fat even the byakugan can't see through her
Yo'momma so ugly she turned Orochimaru gay
Yo'momma so ugly when she walked by Hinata, Hinata yelled out "Dddddaaaaayyyyyuuuuummmm"
Yo'momma so fat she makes Choji look skinny
Yo'momma so ugly she makes the Shukaku look cute
Yo'momma so dumb she makes Naruto look like a genius
Yo'momma so ugly she makes Karin look pretty
Yo'momma so ugly anbu thought she was in the second curse mark and kicked her ass
Yo'momma is so stupid she took a shit thinking it would open the 8 inner gates
Yo'momma so old Gai dropped his "Power of youth" philosophy on the spot
Yo'momma so ugly she made Jiraiya too scared to peek again
Yo'momma so ugly she made Jiraiya give up writing he's pervy books come come paradise
Yo'momma so ugly when she stopped by Kakashi he used his sharingan to see if someone put a genjutsu on him
Yo'momma so ugly that when Kakashi saw her he burned all his pervy books and had no remorse what so eva
Yo'momma so ugly she scared the little kids in her village more than Gaara
Yo'momma so ugly that she even scared Gaara
Yo'momma so ugly she's the reason why Itachi went blind
Yo'momma so ugly she's the reason why Chidori and Rasengan was made
Karin is so fat, not even Naruto can believe it!
Karin is so fat, not even the byakugan can see through her.
Karin is so ugly, ANBU thought she was in the second level of the curse mark, and kicked her butt.
Karin is so stupid, she took a shit thinking it would open the 8 inner gates.
Karin is so old, Gai dropped his "Power of youth" philosophy on the spot.
Karin is so ugly, when she passed by Hinata, Hinata yelled 'dayummmmm!'
Karin is so ugly, Itachi felt like his eyesight was diminishing when he saw her.
Karin is so ugly, she made Jiraiya too scared to peek again when he saw her.
Karin is so fat she made fun of Chouji for being skin and bones.
Karin is so fat that when lee was doing her he gave up.
Karin is so stupid she couldn't find any of the 'hidden' villages.
Karin is so ugly they let her join ANBU just so they could put a mask on her.
Karin is so ugly that she is the reason the chidori and rasengan were made.
Mental Hospital Phone Menu
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital!
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
Silence is golden, duct tape is silver
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round!
Growing old is mandatory . . . growing up is optional . . .
We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But we teenage girls are good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves.
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.
You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.
You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?
I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.
If you're against abortion, re-post this.
My Mother Taught Me, What school doesn't teach you but only a mother can
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can easily take you out of it."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you
Let the Bunnies take over!
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your
signature to help him gain world domination.
A white man enters a bar and sees a black man sitting on a stool. The white man says, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up.
He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK. When I grew up I was BLACK. When I'm sick I'm BLACK. When I go in the sun I'm BLACK. When I'm cold I'm BLACK. When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, when you're born you're PINK. When you grow up you're WHITE. When you're sick, you're GREEN. When you go in the sun you turn RED. When you're cold you turn BLUE. And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism.
Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:
1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"
8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"
10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand
11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"
13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work"
14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it
16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive
17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knight's of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast
18) I am not allowed to declare an offical "Hug A Slytherin Day"
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways
20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor
21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort
22) I will not feed the first years to Fluffy even if they are Slytherin
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling
24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-ful"
25) I will not make, "OMG" a spell
26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate
27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways
28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"
29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge
30) I will not go to class sky clad
31) I will not use Umbridge's quiz to write, "Told you I was Hard Core"
32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm
33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers
34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion
35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"
36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"
37) I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak
38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine
39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts
40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"
41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck
42) I do not have a Dalek Patronous
43) I will not lick Trevor
44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey"
45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween
46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously
47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions
48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet
49) "To conqur the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice
50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God
Check this out...
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile!
Try Not To Cry
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
i you dont paste that on your profile you have no heart
Girls Don't realize these things;
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care
But most of all
For not being sorry anymore
That you can't accept me for who I am
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.
That I cared
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.
If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'
If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't realize these thingz'
Friends or best friends
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "I know were you live..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Would try to put the fire out on your house
BEST FRIENDS: Would be roasting marshmallows and flirting with the firemen
FRIENDS: will pick you up when your down
BEST FRIENDS: will push you back down and laugh
FRIENDS: ask why you're crying
BEST FRIENDS: already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry
FRIENDS: will say you can do better
BEST FRIENDS: will call him up and say "You have seven days to live"
FRIENDS: will help you with your drug problem
BEST FRIENDS: are the ones who sold it to you
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! we fucked up!"
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!
FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit!
I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.
But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Harry Potter (or Twilight), who can express herself better with words than with words, and knows the importance of the little things.
Love vs. Sex
A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening
and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year.
She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't
afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm
When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it.
However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he
were waiting for her.
She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.
Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as
though someone was walking with her.
When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same
alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.
Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to
Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the
She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.
The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify
She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.
When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed
The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do
She asked if they would ask the man one question.
Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her.
When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had
two tall men walking on either side of her."
Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're
never alone. Did you know that 98 of
will not stand up for God?
Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly
PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you
no matter what...and if you stand up for him he will
stand up for you.
I bet 93 of you people that read this won't repost
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.
The boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
to the top
of the tree
Girl: Hey slow down
Guy: No this is fun!
Girl: No it's not! Please, it's way to scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you. Now slow down.
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gave him a big hug.
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself? It's bothering me.
In the newspaper, the next day, a motorcyle crashed into a building because of break failure.
Two people were on it and only one survived.
The truth was, that half way down the road the guy realised his breaks were out and he didn't want the girl to know.
Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loved him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so she would live even if it meant he would die.
If you would do the same for the person you love, copy and paste this into your profile.
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.
Pickup Lines That Are Doomed To Fail...
1. You look familiar; have I seen you before? Oh yeah, I remember! You look like my next girlfriend!
2. Hey baby, I'm like a rubix cube. The longer you play with me, the harder I get.
3. If I bit my lip, would you kiss it better?
4. Do you have a map? I got lost in your eyes...
5. If I said you have a nice body, would you hold it against me?
6. You be an iceberg, I'll be the Titanic, and I'll go down on you.
7. If I tossed this 50 cent coin, what are the chances of me getting head?
8. I'll be the flower, you be the bee, and you can have a taste of my honey!
9. Are you an alien? Cause you've just abducted my heart.
10. Can I take your picture? I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas.
11. Your beauty was so distracting that I ran into a wall, so I'm gonna need your name and number...for insurance reasons.
12. Excuse me, I lost my number. Can I have yours?
13. If being pretty is a crime, then you are guilty as charged.
14. Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out!
15. Are you free tonight or is it gonna cost me?
16. Is it hot in here, or is it just you?
17. Are you an overdue book? 'Cause you've got FINE written all over you.
18. Do you have a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I can see myself in your pants.
19. Did you fart? 'Cause you blew me away!
20. I know I'm no Fred Flinstone, but I can make your bed-rock.
21. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
22. What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
23. That shirt’s very becoming of you. If I were on you, I’d be coming too
24. Nice dress; but it would look better on my floor.
25. Did they just take you out of the oven? Because you’re hot!
26. If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.
27. Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
28. Do you have any raisins? No? Well, then how about a date?
29. Can I interview you? I'm writing an atricle on the finer things in life.
30. Can you help me settle a bet? My friends say angels don't eixst...
31. Is there a ninja in your pants? 'Cause your butt is kicking!
32. What's that say on your neck? 'Made in Heaven'..
33.Hey do you know CPR beacuse you just took my breath away
these are some over the worst pick uplines i have ever read but are really funny
Fine - This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.
Five Minutes - This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.
Nothing - This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine".
Go Ahead - (With Raised Eyebrows!) This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".
Go Ahead - (Normal Eyebrows) This means "I give up" or "Do what you want because I don't care". You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
Loud Sigh- This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".
Soft Sighs- Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
That's Okay - This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow".
Please Do - This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".
Thanks - A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say "You're welcome".
Thanks A Lot - This is much different from "Thanks". A woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh" as she will only tell you "Nothing"
We got off the Titanic first.
We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll it's pathetic.
Men's clothes make women look elfin and gorgeous. Men look like complete idiots in women's clothes.
We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
Taxi's stop for us.
Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
We know the Truth about whether or not size matters.
If we're not making enough money we can blame it on the glass ceiling.
It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the male's Speedo.
We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
We never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Life is sexually transmitted.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection make him
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet
and they won't bother you for weeks.
Some people are like Slinkies... not really good for anything, but you still can't
help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs...
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut
saves you thirty cents?
1. Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)
2. Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3. Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Wal-Mart has a bigger selection)
4. Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)
5. Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)
6. Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)
7. Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8. Thou shall not wear revealing clothes in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9. Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")
10. Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave 'em in the middle)
Pick Up-line and shut downs
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing
"Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon." -Hermione from Harry Potter/Order of the Phenox
-POW!- "I needed that." -POW!- "I needed that, too." -POW!- "You're pushing your luck, Scoob!" -Shaggy from Scooby Doo 2
"I saw him through the window and he was wearing butt-inspection gloves." -Alex from Home Alone 3
"Dog?! Where?!" -Scooby-Doo from Scooby-Doo/Zombie Island
"I'm really starting to hate you, Kenji. You've been trying to kill us since the start of this damn movie." -Carter from Rush Hour 3 (blooper)
"I hate mummies! They never play fair!" -Johnathon from The Mummy Tomb/dragon Emporer
"A brief shinning moment, and then that mouth." -Victor from Miss Congeniality
"Eyebrows; there should be two." -Victor from Miss Congeniality
"And if anyone--ANYONE--tried to hurt one of my new friends, I would take them out. I would make them suffer so much, they'd wish they were never born. And if they tried to run, I would hunt them down." -Gracie Heart from Miss Congeniality(I WOULD ACTUALLY DO THIS!!)
"I'm sorry. What was the question? I was too distarcted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your big trap." -Victor from Miss Congeniality
"With all this foil in my hair, I'm getting HBO." -Gracie Heart from Miss Congeniality
"What? No armored car?"
"That would be in my other dress." -Victor and Gracie Heart from Miss Congeniality
"I'm sorry, whoever you are, but this line is reserved for emergency calls only."
"No fucking shit, lady! Do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza, here?!" -random police woman and John Maclain from Die Hard
"Damn Hamster! Stay still, Spiderboy!" -John Maclain from Live Free or Die Hard
"Wow...I know that tone, it's just weird hearing it from someone with...hair." -Mattew from Live Free or Die Hard
"Asshole?! I'm not the one that just got butt-fucked on national television, Dwayne!" -John Maclain from Die Hard
"I know where you live. If you're not well on your way to becoming a vet in the next six months, I'll kill you." -Tyler from Fight Club
"Yeah yeah, I got it! No wait, I lost it." -Tyler from Fight Club
"A cute girl stopped me on the way, so I danced." -Kakashi Hatake from Naruto
"Under my mask is...another mask! Pretty cool, huh?" -Kakashi Hatake from Naruto
“Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking.”-anonyous (don't know who said that)
“If you laugh, I will laugh. If you cry, I will cry and if you jump out of the window, I will laugh.” -anonymous
“I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.” -anonymous
"I could tell you stories about your father that would curl even your greasy hair, boy!" -Mad-Eye Moody from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
"Follow the spiders? Follow the spiders?! If Hagrid ever gets out of Azkaban, I'll kill him!" -Ron Weasley from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
"Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seirously injure" -Dobby the house elf from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1
these were just random i got bored so don't sit there and think i'm crazy because that was old news the new news is that i'm insane on a hole new level!
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