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Joined 07-05-10, id: 2433559, Profile Updated: 10-19-19
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Funnies by PissedOffEskimo reviews
Episodic script play. The little things my deviant brain hears with every episode, mostly because I watched way too much MST3K as a child.
Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 39,054 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 160 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 6/5 - Published: 1/4/2007 - Dean W., Sam W. - Complete
Full Moon by summer-echo-11 reviews
Hayley Uley's life changed when she became a mermaid with Cleo, Rikki, & Emma. When she was able to cope with that change, another one occurred - moving to Forks. But along with that change comes werewolves & vampires, & the mermaids are dragged into their war.
Crossover - Twilight & H2O: Just Add Water - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 38 - Words: 91,884 - Reviews: 399 - Favs: 337 - Follows: 320 - Updated: 12/31/2015 - Published: 6/25/2010 - Jacob, Sam
Rescue me, my Werewolf by Michelle7 reviews
When all your life you've been abused, how can you deal with each new obstacle in your path? Sophie's an abused girl looking for somehting more than hatred. When Paul makes her life more miserable than it already is, how will the two cope when he Imprints on her? Or when there just seems to always be one more obstacle in their way to being happy? M for Rape/Abuse/Language/Lemons
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 66 - Words: 148,283 - Reviews: 628 - Favs: 383 - Follows: 282 - Updated: 1/15/2015 - Published: 9/23/2010 - [Paul, OC] Embry, Sam - Complete
I Wouldn't Change A Thing by Lightning Before Thunder reviews
Bailey Swan is Bella's cousin and she is forced to move to Forks for many reasons. She is quiet, and shy, and is selective about who she lets into her life. She meets Jared, and they click, but what happens when she meets Jared's friend? Jacob/OC
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 49,934 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 226 - Follows: 149 - Updated: 9/28/2014 - Published: 8/2/2010 - Jacob - Complete
Battle of the Cliques by dee87 reviews
Edward, Bella, Jasper, Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie are all the leaders of cliques at Forks High School. They absolutely hate each other. When forced to spend time together, they discover they all have one thing in common. Possible future lemons. Slightly OOC! Eventual Cannon Pairings! R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 19 - Words: 27,947 - Reviews: 174 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 79 - Updated: 6/10/2014 - Published: 9/29/2011 - Bella, Edward, Alice, Jasper
Carlisle vs House by Beethoven Not Mozart reviews
What happens when Carlisle and House get into the same hospital? World War 3, that's what. Rated T just to be safe. It's back! Chapter 3 is up!
Crossover - House, M.D. & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,020 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 10/12/2013 - Published: 11/2/2011 - G. House, Carlisle
Crushed by CecileJ reviews
"In the world, the only person you can trust is YOURSELF." Maria Forrest had once been naive and innocent, but one man destroyed everything in her. His simple game forced her to become heartless, ruthless, and reserved. Paul Lahote was the arrogant, obnoxious prick who had played with her heart.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 22,286 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 6/23/2013 - Published: 6/21/2012 - Paul
You Can't Have a Rainbow Without a Little Rain by SixChicks reviews
What happens when four rich girls are sent to live with their grandparents in La Push in order to learn a lesson? Things don't go as planned as the girls meet old friends and love blossoms. Story's much better then summary please read.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 13,196 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 6/22/2013 - Published: 10/18/2011 - Jacob, Seth
Exciting Tales from the Diary of an Ordinary Girl by kimmmz reviews
Not so long ago I thought my life was boring. Now it's so far from ordinary that I don't even know how to handle it. What am I supposed to say to the hot werewolf who just informed me that we're soul mates?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 36 - Words: 135,016 - Reviews: 419 - Favs: 179 - Follows: 151 - Updated: 2/20/2013 - Published: 5/16/2011 - Kim, Jared
The Angel's Ploy by ChelseaDagger14 reviews
"His eyes dropped to meet mine and the expression turned to shock in less than a second. "Nice to meet you." I said politely. And then he fell. No, literally. To the ground. He fell to his knees." Jacob/OC Post-BD
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 13 - Words: 68,577 - Reviews: 217 - Favs: 256 - Follows: 338 - Updated: 12/1/2012 - Published: 10/1/2011 - Jacob
Arguments Between a Vampire and a Werewolf by Angry Lobster reviews
Edward and Jacob argue about sparkling, intimate biting, and various other subjects. Funny drabbles.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 23 - Words: 12,787 - Reviews: 1092 - Favs: 618 - Follows: 398 - Updated: 8/22/2012 - Published: 10/3/2008 - Edward, Jacob
Surgeons General Warning by Danger Illustrated reviews
Of all days they could have worked on the house, they chose today. Nothing could be more awkward than standing in front of five guys in next to nothing and all I have to show for is my love of hello kitty boxers. At least I make my brothers proud. PaulOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 48,573 - Reviews: 171 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 185 - Updated: 6/12/2012 - Published: 7/13/2010 - Paul, Embry
Not Quite It by Me Again Just Cooler reviews
I gasped in horror making Amber turn around and freeze in place. A copper skinned man with the height and mass of a mountain was approaching us with a slightly wobbling step, a face of pure amazement and completely and utterly NAKED.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 17 - Words: 65,521 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 5/23/2012 - Published: 12/28/2010 - Paul
Acceptance by TayderBugg95 reviews
Tara Reynolds moves to LaPush to get away from it all and start fresh. Can Paul and the LaPush gang help? Or is Tara's past to much for her to face? Warning:Rating may change
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 23,092 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 4/21/2012 - Published: 11/21/2011 - Paul - Complete
Collide by Becca97 reviews
Apparently, tackling someone you barely know to the ground is considered romantic nowadays! Paul/OC Takes place during New Moon! Please R & R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 49,382 - Reviews: 220 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 4/18/2012 - Published: 1/3/2012 - Paul
Look At Me Now by Anastasia the new Cinderella reviews
After being bullied through her freshman year by Jared Thail, Kim Connweller is now the famous Victoria's Secret model, Sweetie. She decides she wants to keep her identity a secret. But how long will that last?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 38,427 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 2/25/2012 - Published: 6/24/2011 - Kim, Jared
Patience is Beautiful by XxheartstwirlxX reviews
Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible - it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could. Barbara de Angelis
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 17,555 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 2/12/2012 - Published: 12/29/2011 - Paul
Stripped by oneandonlyluver reviews
Leah's scarred.Who can save her from the pain that dwells over her alrea dy ruined life.She becomes more vulnerable.She becomes close to the Cullens and her pack brothers.She fell back in love, but with who? A Sparkly Vampire or A Furry Wolf?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 34,232 - Reviews: 176 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 1/15/2012 - Published: 3/30/2009 - Leah
On My Own by aj80 reviews
Baby Uley has been on her own since she was born. She has been in and out of foster homes her whole life. When something happens, which makes her meet her real family how does she handle it. How will Paul fit in? T may change to M later on.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,815 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 1/13/2012 - Published: 1/4/2012 - Paul
100 Ways To Order Pizza, Cullen Style by The 5th Alice reviews
What would happen of the Cullens try 100 ways to order pizza? Alice and Bella gain a pet unicorn, Esme spaces out constantly, Jasper meditates, and Alice's fashion sense is outrageous!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 25 - Words: 8,733 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 1/8/2012 - Published: 6/19/2011 - Complete
Everlasting Heartbreak by XxheartstwirlxX reviews
Veronica has had the perfect life.Money,Friends,Popularity,and the hottest guy in HS.But spoiled brats occasionally get reality checks.And this is Ronnie's.Only, hers lead her to an annoying werewolf.No biggie. JacobxOC R&R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,445 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/29/2011 - Published: 5/12/2011 - Jacob
Her Hard Life by Book-Nerd 4 lyfe reviews
Paul had a steady girlfriend at 13. They had sex, and she moved a couple weeks later. She found out she was prego. She had the baby, but succembed to drugs. Her child had a really hard life. When she turns 13 she runs aways. She runs to La Push. REWORKED!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 6 - Words: 21,417 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 12/16/2011 - Published: 8/16/2011 - Paul
Changes, Dissapointments, and Love by taybaybay reviews
What happens when a girl with a bunch of baggage gets imprinted on by our favorite tempermental wolf? Does she fall head over heels for him? Or will she build up a wall around her emotions and wait for Mr. Wolf Charming to knock them down?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,478 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 11/30/2011 - Published: 11/28/2011 - Paul, Sam
Hit the Ground Running by ScarletDevil1503 reviews
Sure, Jacob ran away at the end of Eclipse... for three years. By the time he returns to La Push, Bella has already moved on with her leeches. The years he spent alone and miserable have changed his perspective on the whole affair; his time for healing is just beginning. Will our dear Alpha find his heart again? AU, Imprint story, Jacob/OC. Rated T for strong language.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,323 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 11/26/2011 - Published: 10/29/2011 - [Jacob, OC]
Mother May I by GASPLudwig reviews
Nevada Albanza; Outspoken, all about images, and trouble with a capitol T. Now if only she can pass History class.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,140 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 11/26/2011 - Published: 8/25/2011 - Jacob
It's about time by Ashleighbabe reviews
Lucy comes back to LaPush after 3 years. She's grown up with Embry, Jacob, Quil, Paul and Jared. When she gets back everythings changed and she can't figure out why! Not everyone is happy Lucy's back, except Paul who seems to be very happy shes returned.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,748 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 11/19/2011 - Published: 5/3/2009 - Paul
Mars by Wisdomlistens reviews
I couldn't resist-I hoped on the back, wrapped my arms around his waist, and we took off. "Hold on!" he called from the front. I was already clinging to him to him for dear life but I held on tighter, the sound of the wind loud in my ears.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 16 - Words: 14,952 - Reviews: 240 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 10/19/2011 - Published: 10/26/2010 - Jacob
Fake Imprint by SimpleAs reviews
Embry, is jealous of his fellow imprinted pack members, he's desperate to imprint. So desperate he fakes it to himself and the pack, but what will happen if they find out? Can they tell? Will he fall in love with her anyway? Will it work? please review!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,428 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 9/14/2011 - Published: 7/7/2011 - Embry
FRIENDS OATH by VampireDiarieschick99 reviews
HI EVERYONE, I KNOW THIS ISN'T A STORY BUT I DID THIS OATH SO THAT EVERYONE THAT LOVES FRIENDS CAN COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO THIER PROFILE! HOPE YOU LIKE IT. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW. THANKS VDCHICK99 XX
Friends - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 124 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/6/2011
Permanent Press by Guns and Drums reviews
"The world is ending. The zombie apocalypse is upon us. The mother effing Rapture. The earth is going to open up and swallow the entirety of my life and all the remnants of semi-organized civilization." Jared/Kim. CC. My attempt to craft some kind of substantial personality in Kim or Jared based on what we have from canon. I think I failed.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 33,404 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 7/25/2011 - Published: 4/2/2011 - Kim, Jared - Complete
The Loves and Lies of Senior Year by Forever in Your Heart reviews
Rosalie's about to get everything she's ever wanted, Bella takes 1 step forward and 2 steps back, Edward has to make 2 important choices, Jasper has to be a hero, Alice is in possesion of a horrible secret and Emmett is falling for someone he shouldn't.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,735 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 7/19/2011 - Published: 10/2/2010
AnnaLynne by Michelle7 reviews
Anna-Lynne has always been on the run from her enemires, never having the chance at a normal life. When she gets far enough away to have the chance at being normal, she finds friends and allies in the resident Vampires of Forks and the La Push Wolves. But when her past comes back to haunt her, will everyone she cares about be okay? Or will she fall victim to her enemies? Hiatus!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 12 - Words: 21,397 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/12/2011 - Published: 11/1/2009
Trapped by SophieHadfield reviews
Eve was a bubbley normal teenager with hopes and dreams just like any other. One day changes it all and she becomes trapped and lonley with no one to turn too. Paul/OC Dark Paul!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,438 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 6/7/2011 - Published: 3/17/2011 - Paul
Love You Forever : A Paul Imprint Story by Just-Soldier-On reviews
Elizabeth Black is Jacob's cousin, what happens when Paul imprints on her? Elizabeth has an uncaring mother, what has happened to her to make her so 'rebellious' to her mom how will she react to the 'wolf' world? WARNING: There is lots of swearing n humor
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 56 - Words: 97,279 - Reviews: 266 - Favs: 165 - Follows: 101 - Updated: 4/11/2011 - Published: 10/2/2010 - Paul - Complete
Falling Star by AngelontheMoon93 reviews
Fred waited in Vancouver. Bree never came.
Crossover - Twilight & Short Second Life of Bree Tanner - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,951 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/22/2011 - Fred
Clearing the Storm by thebluestbird reviews
She watches every one of his small modest movements, and slowly, with each heart-rending moment, she suffers with him.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 15,572 - Reviews: 372 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 131 - Updated: 2/11/2011 - Published: 11/17/2009 - Leah, Jacob
I Caught Fire, In Your Eyes by KagomeMiroku reviews
EmbryxOC- His eyes, they were so familiar. It was like I knew him, but couldn't quite place where I'd seen him
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 25,037 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 8/16/2010 - Published: 7/10/2010 - Embry - Complete
Last Chance to Live the Fullest by Alexis Valnera Cullen reviews
Carlisle and Esme had a daughter before Esme's turn What happens when she comes to find her parents? Is she falling for a wolf? What happens when esme is distant Quilente? Did Lexi get the wolf gene? Questions are answered.give it a chance plz 1st fan fic
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,179 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 8/15/2010 - Published: 8/12/2010 - Seth
Choices by DaisyBell2 reviews
In a world where everything must be chose, Nessie Cullen finds herself fighting destiny and family when she chooses the one thing she isn't allowed to have, forcing her to make the ultimate decision; family or love? For "1 Pic is Worth 1000 Words" contest
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 12,557 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 8/12/2010 - Published: 8/1/2010 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Alec - Complete
The Hangover: Twilight Style by bhefoWEFefWEF reviews
Anything Emmett plans can't turn out right, right? Right. Follow Emmett, Jasper and Jacob as they retrace their drunken steps to find Edward before his wedding is due to start!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,656 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 6/15/2010 - Published: 5/9/2010 - Edward
Morning Star by Ra4chel-the 4 is silent reviews
Renesmee goes on her honeymoon with Jacob and comes back pregnant. Can they handle all the complications that come with this baby like what a 1/2 werewolf, 1/4 human, 1/4 vampire will be like and Seth's strange behavior towards the baby? 7 years after BD.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 10,370 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 6/9/2010 - Published: 5/13/2009 - Jacob, Renesmee C./Nessie
Life can go on by Loz.Loves.Queenslanders reviews
The cullens gain a new family member when Carlise's cancer paitent figures out his secrect because she can also read minds. Involves the wolves and more to their stories. :
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,089 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/18/2010
Bella is dead by SimpleAs reviews
Bella is found dead in the bath full of blood-red water, how will Jacob handle it? this is jacob's one shot, R and R
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 720 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/29/2010 - Jacob, Bella - Complete
Slutty Wedding Sex by oneandonlyluver reviews
Paul and Leah deal with each other's heartbreak in a most.. interesting way after The Uley Wedding. PxL Duh!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,784 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 1/25/2010 - Published: 7/13/2009 - Leah, Paul
My Werewolf by Jacob.Paul.Lover.2009 reviews
What happens when Sahara wants to declare her love to Jacob. And what will happen when he avoides her and suddenly becomes distant? Not good at summaries sorry, so can u just check it out thx guys T rated for language and stuff! JACOB/OC
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 50 - Words: 97,247 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 1/21/2010 - Published: 6/13/2009 - Jacob - Complete
That's not meant to happen by Ashleighbabe reviews
When Alaniie moves to La Push out of her favorite books she doesn't think anything of it. That is until she blurts everything out to Jacob after meeting. And why has the secret legend got to do with anythng? REVIEW PLEASE. Strong words in later chapters!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 16 - Words: 16,554 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 11/13/2009 - Published: 4/15/2009 - Paul
DDR: Chuck E' Cheese by EverFlame reviews
Peter goes to work at Chuck E' Cheese! Guess what he sees? Emmett and Jasper paying Dance Dance Revolution! It's hilarious! The link is on my profile! The story is based off the episode of Family Guy when Peter is friends with Bill Clinton! Read & Review!
Crossover - Family Guy & Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 333 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/15/2009 - Peter G. - Complete
Beware of the Worst: The Cullens by Vision in Blue reviews
What if Cady, Janice, Damon, and the rest of North Shore went to Forks High... An alternative cafeteria scene. Twilight/Mean Girls parody. Rated for Janice's blunt and colorful language, and Damon's choice of song... IF YA CAN'T TAKE A JOKE, DON'T READ!
Crossover - Mean Girls & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,436 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 15 - Published: 4/30/2009 - Complete
How to Snag Yourself a Hot Werewolf Boyfriend! by 20wayss reviews
Are hopelessly in love with a werewolf and want him to love you back? Here's your answer. No imprinting is guaranteed. If he's abnormally tall, buff, sexy, and hot...literally...then you're on the right track! Review!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 296 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/16/2009 - Jacob, Paul - Complete
Nessie's Sun, Nessie's Moon: Fighting Destiny by sarenelsoria reviews
A Jacob and Nessie story, Nessie is about to turn seven hears Jake and Leah talking and misunderstands. When Nahuel comes to town with his sister and newborn nephew will she fall for him? Will Jake be shadowed by another?First story finished sequel posted
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 34 - Words: 93,995 - Reviews: 163 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 12/27/2008 - Published: 8/24/2008 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Nahuel - Complete
Braces by witchbeth reviews
One day claire goes to the orthodontist to get braces. What will quil do with claire in so much pain? Just a oneshot, cute fluff.claire/quil jr.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,130 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/28/2008 - Quil Jr., Claire - Complete
Poor little mind reader by tortgirl reviews
The Cullens torture Edward with songs in their heads funnier than it sounds please read and review.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 14,764 - Reviews: 309 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 2/3/2008 - Published: 10/23/2007 - Complete