Author has written 3 stories for Twilight, and High School Musical.
It's not because I'm opinionated. I'm just always right!
(BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz. -
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandal (I think I’m a little polish…)
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be going out with them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy. (I think I’m a little polish…)
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy( i might be
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly... or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and cool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I MUST do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (I'm kinda goth, i wear a lot of black)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I MUST be stupid and stuck up.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
Ihang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I DON'T LIKE to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I READ COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FAN Girl so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth. (r we known 4 having bad teeth?? thanks guys)
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON"T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I don't HAVE MANY FRIENDS, so I MUST be antisocial.
I have a guy best friend, so I MUST be going out with him.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I SUCK MY OWN BLOOD FROM WOUNDS, so I MUST have a vampire fetish.
I'm a good actor/actress, so I MUST be a liar.
I'm a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone's ass.
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant.
I'm a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict.
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian.
I'm a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie.
I'm INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs.
I'm a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life.
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd or suck-up.
I have GREEN SKIN, so I MUST be a wicked witch.
I'm DIFFERENT, so I MUST just want attention.
I'm an ACTOR/ACTRESS, so I MUST be mean.
I'm AMERICAN, so I MUST be an overweight pig with no boundaries
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports
I like CATS, so I MUST dance like a cat in my spare time.
I SPEAK GERMAN, so I MUST be a psycho Nazi
I WEAR GLASSES and RETAINERS, so I MUST be a nerd
I'm HALF ASIAN HALF BRITISH, so I MUST be short
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals
I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I HAVE BIG FAMILY siblings, so WE MUST be financially challenged
I'm ALWAYS SMILING AND LAUGHING, so I MUST have a great life.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention
I COPIED AND PASTED THIS INTO MY PROFILE, so I MUST be a plagiarist.
I FROWN a lot, so I MUST have a bad life
I get BAD GRADES, so I MUST be a slacker who doesn't try
I'm a JEW, so I MUST hate all Germans
I like to listen to HANNAH MONTANA, so I MUST be childish and immature
I am POLITE to TEACHERS, so I MUST be a teacher's pet.
I don't have a SOCIAL LABEL, so I MUST just be emo.
I like COUNTRY music, so I MUST be a redneck hick.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I love SHOPPING so I MUST be rich.
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude
I like to READ, so I MUST be a nerd.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
You're a 90's kid if:
You can finish this 'ice ice _'
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies
Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever!
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Mortal Kombat was awesome--the game and the movie
Gak was the coolest stuff invented.
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
You had to read Weekly Reader's in class.
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it?!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before MIKE JONES . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkmans.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
When you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things.
Getting high meant swinging at a playground?
The worst thing you could get from a boy was cooties?
When 'Mom' was your hero and 'Dad' was the boy you were gonna marry?
When your worst enemies were your siblings?
And race issues were about who ran fastest?
When war was a card game?
And life was simple and care free?
Remember when all you wanted to do was GROW UP?
Put this in your profile if you wish you were an innocent little kid again.
Copy & Paste This
X You own a cell phone.
X You own something from Abercrombie.
X You own something from Pac sun.
X You own something from Hollister.
X You own something from American eagle.
X You love/like going to the mall.
XYou own an iPod/MP3 player.
X You love Starbucks.
x you have been called a brat.
X You hate buying things that are on sale.
X You have more than one house.
X Black is one of your favourite colors.
X You have thought about death.
X You wear chains.
X You like heavy metal.
X You’ve shopped at Hot Topic.
X You have worn black lipstick.
X Your hair was/is dark.
X You dislike preps.
x you’re an atheist/ Satanist/agnostic.
X You can skateboard
x you’ve worn plaid.
X You like Converse.
X You hate MTV.
X You have/had blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair. - (streaks count)
x you dislike pink.
X You hate/dislike preps.
X you wear/wore skateboarding shoes.
X You love the computer.
X You like Harry Potter.
X You are supposed to wear glasses/contacts
x you get straight A's.
X You love/like reading.
X You were/are in band. (Yeah I'm in band. Who cares? We’re going to WONDERLAND!! WOO!)
X You don't care what you look like.
X You have a curfew.
X You always do your homework.
X You never miss school unless you're sick.
X You watch/watched the Super bowl.
X You own track shoes or other sports related shoes.
X You collect your jerseys.
X You have a wall or shelf dedicated to your trophies / awards.
X You have posters or plaques of famous athletes.
X Your garage consists of sports equipment.
X You belong/belonged to a school team.
X You are going/did go to a sports summer camp.
X You have a specific number.
X You like loud music.
X You love/loved the Ninja Turtles.
X You never walk anywhere.
X You wear slip-on shoes.
X You wear/wore Vans.
X You like the band Panic! At the disco.
X You wear band t-shirts.
X People have called you a freak and meant it.
X You love to "hardcore" dance.
X Hair has been died more than 1 color
Your guy side
XYou love hoodies.
X You love jeans.
X Dogs are better than cats.
X its hilarious when people get hurt.
X You've played with/against boys on a team.
X Shopping is torture.
X Sad movies suck.
X You own/Ed an X-Box.
X Played with Hot wheel cars as a kid.
X At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter. (but really? Who doesnt wanna be a firefighter?!)
XYou own/Ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
X You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
X You watch sports on TV.
X Gory movies are cool.
X You go to your dad for advice.
X You own like a trillion baseball caps.
X You like going to high school football games.
X You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
XBaggy pants are cool to wear.
X It's kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
X Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favourite colors.
X You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
X Sports are fun.
X Talk with food in your mouth.
X Sleep with your socks on at night.
Your girl side:
X You wear lip gloss/Chap stick.
X You love to shop.
X You wear eyeliner.
X You wear the color pink
x Go to your mom for advice.
X You consider cheerleading a sport.
X You hate wearing the color black.
X You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
X You like wearing jewellery.
X Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
X Shopping is one of your favourite hobbies.
X You don't like the movie Star Wars.
X You were in gymnastics/dance
x It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
X You smile a lot more than you should.
X You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
X You care about what you look like.
X You like wearing dresses when you can.
X You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
X You love the movies.
X You used to play with dolls as little kid.
X Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
X Like being the star of everything.
NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast
TWILIGHT FANS: would rather rely on Alice for future predictions
NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!
TWILIGHT FANS: say OH MY EDWARD!! (OME)
NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings
TWILIGHT FANS: know that Jasper already can sense their feelings without saying a word
NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you!
TWILIGHT FANS: say shut up or i'll get james to kill
NORMAL PEOPLE: think that vampires are all like Dracula
TWILIGHT FANS: know A LOT better and absolutely love the Cullen vampires
NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!
TWILIGHT FANS: when being chased yell EDWARD SAVE ME!!
NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms
TWILIGHT FANS: know that the Cullens might be playing baseball somewhere and Emmett was just at bat ; )
NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation
TWILIGHT FANS: would go directly to FORKS WASHINGTON
NORMAL PEOPLE:dont have this on there profile
TWILIGHT FANS: MUST have this on there profile
If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this in your profile!
What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:
When she walks away from you mad, follow her
When she stare's at your mouth, Kiss her
When she pushes you or hit's you, Grab her and dont let go
When she start's cussing at you, Kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet, Ask her what's wrong
When she ignore's you, Give her your attention
When she pull's away, Pull her back
When you see her at her worst, Tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying, Just hold her and dont say a word
When you see her walking, Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared, Protect her
When she lay's her head on your shoulder, Tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steal's your favorite hat, Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she tease's you, Tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesnt answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay
When she look's at you with doubt, Back yourself up
When she say's that she like's you, she really does more than you could understand
When she grab's at your hands, Hold her's and play with her fingers
When she bump's into you, bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tell's you a secret, keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does
When she misses you, she's hurting inside
When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away
When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers
When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it
Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.
When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
Call her before you sleep and after you wake up
Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
Tease her and let her tease you back
Stay up all night with her when she's sick
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid
Give her the world
Let her wear your clothes
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her
Let her know she's important
Kiss her in the pouring rain
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"
If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
╔══╦══╦══╗ You have been diagnosed
║╔╗║╔═╣╔╗║ with Obsessive Cullen
║╚╝║╚═╣╚╝║ Disorder put this on your
╚══╩══╩══╝ profile if you have it too.
Notice all these things about friends? They mean nothing when you have none.
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting next to you saying "THAT WAS FRICKING AWSOME! WE ARE SO DOING THAT AGAIN NEXT WEEKEND!"
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already knows not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS:Will repost this crappp!!
Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions
Friend: Will help me learn to drive
Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance
Friend: Will help me up when I fall down
Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me
Friend: Will go to a concert with me
Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me
Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs."
Best Friend: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad"
Friend: Asks me for my number
Best friend: Asks me for her number
Friend: Hides me from the cops
Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place
Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public
Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.
Best Friends: Are 4 Ever
I don't have a license to kill ... I have a learners permit!"
"Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear."
"If you love someone, tell them. Because hearts are often broken with words left out."
"He handed her 11 red roses and one fake rose, he said ‘I will love you until the last rose dies."
"Of all the things I’ve lost… I miss my mind the most."
"I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentines Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon."
"I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Cave Man the best. We called him Uncle Cave Man because he lived in a cave and because sometimes he'd come out and eat one of us. Later on we found out he was a bear."
"Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas."
"Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!"
"When in doubt, push random buttons!"
"When you talk to God, that's religion. When God talks to you, that's psychotic."
"You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it."
"I'm not cynical, everything just sucks."
"Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies."
"Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck."
"YOUTUBE myspace and I'll Google your YAHOO."
"Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin."
"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you."
"Okay...so there's this thing called retarded-ness and me and my freinds, well...We've gone pro."
IMPORTANT THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME!
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you
If you have ever stared at a computer screen for hours and hours reading stories that people who have no lives whats so ever and have enough obsession with something to write a story about it and you are one of those people, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Shifter-youkai.watches sakura fall, Two Tailz,keeah,Twifreak4000
If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer
If you've ever had a laughing fit for no reason copy and paste this in to your profile.
If you've ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy and paste this in to your profile
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile
If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile
If you want Bella to turn into a vampire, copy this into your profile. (This one better spread like wildfire.)
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.
If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and past this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile.
if you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile.
if you've ever walked into a wall before copy this into your profile.
You Know You're an author when...
You talk to yourself a lot.
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')
When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someones liver?')
After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, 'Holy crap, this stuff is great for sugar highs...'
You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.
You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
You tend to collect Bic Sticks off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.
Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
People think you have A.D.D.
You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason
Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101. C:
" Woman was created from the ribs of man.
Not from his head to top him.
Nor from his feet to be walked upon.
She was made from his side to be his equal.
From beneath his arms to be protected.
From very near his heart to be loved."
" Age is simply mind over matter.
If you don't think about it.
It really doesn't matter."
" The only way to correct what
you've done in the past.
Is to live differently in the
" The Ten Commandments aren't
"What part of 'Thou Shall Not'...did you not understand? God
" It's not every time.
You get a second chance
"Quote the 25th letter of the
alphabet... Y ' "