Author has written 21 stories for Danny Phantom.
And neither do I.
Heyo, I'm Codiak.
NOTE: Random things about me ("Random Stuff About Me") is right after "Practice!". And then there's "Other Stuff About Me", which is more personal information.
NOTE: My "Story Log" is AT THE VERY BOTTOM above the actual stories.
NOTE: If you feel like drawing something for one of my Fanfictions, have at it. Just tell me first so I can find it.
My DA account is CodiakM. I have a god awful picture of something called "Kevin" there. Note to world: don't ever draw something that looks like Kevin. Just don't do it.
NOTE: I have a tumblr. codiakm . tumblr . com Hit me up on there. It's probably the best way to get in contact with me. ;D
NOTE: I have a tumblr specifically for my writing. collections-of-codiak . tumblr . com
I have a FictionPress account under the same name (Codiak). If you want me to read and review something of yours, let me know.
I have Archive of Our Own account, also under the same name (Codiak). If you want me to read and review something of yours, let me know.
If you ever have a question about something, send me a PM (or an ask on tumblr). I will eventually answer it, but just know I have the misfortune of being a procrastinator.
Disclaimer: Danny Phantom does not belong to me. Thank you and have a nice day. ;)
(If the line breaks have disappeared, I'm sorry about that. I don't know what's up with this.)
Practice! Practice! Practice!
I shall be the first to admit my writing is not always perfect. In some cases, perfection is a long way in another direction. However, practice truly does, as they say, make perfect.
When I began to write in elementary school, my grammar was atrocious. I misspelled words, had no clue how to use proper sentence structure, and had even less of an idea how to format speech and paragraph breaks. I practiced, though. I took what my teachers taught to heart, and I searched out answers to questions I never raised my hand to ask. Most of what I know today is information I self-taught myself over the years, and after one learns something, it makes sense to practice, right?
Not everything I write is as good as it can be. Not everything I write will become an award-winning novel or even a popular hit on a fanfiction website. Not everything I write will be read by another for critique. None of this, however, stops me from writing. It also does not stop me from learning and practicing.
It should not stop you, either.
Practice what you love. It's what you love, isn't it? Take new lessons and technique into consideration. Self-teach when no one else is there to answer a question. Use critique, positive and negative, to find your strengths and weaknesses. Remember this is your writing, and only you, the author, can control it.
Practice makes perfect, but perfect only comes when you practice. You will get better as long as you try, so try with everything you have.
Random Stuff About Me
-I love Danny Phantom! One of my favorite shows of all time!
-I love to read and write.
-My favorite colors are black, white, neon green, and neon blue.
-I love animals.
-Daydreaming is one of my favorite pass times.
-Daydreaming about what it would be like to have a life is an even bigger pass time.
-I think meerkats should have their own holiday. They live in the ground just like groundhogs do.
-I play the alto saxophone. Her name is Autumn, and I hate her.
-The Burger King guy is creepy.
-I am a Grammar Nazi, even though I tend to make my own mistakes.
-I'm not perfect, but neither are you.
-Simple gestures can really change a person's day. The middle finger is one of those gestures.
-I am distracted by shiny objects and sometimes find myself staring at light fixtures.
-I like to laugh.
-I hate commercials that have those stupid jingle rhymes. Injury? Call DLP to name one.
-I'm an introvert.
-I hate the general idea of people.
-People say you are as white as a sheet. What if the sheet was blue?
-Small children sometimes scare me. They are unpredictable little monsters and often possess sticky hands. Actually, I hate children. Fucking gremlins.
Other Stuff About Me
-Hair color: Brown.
-Eye color: Brown.
-Likes: Danny Phantom; writing; yaoi; books, books, some more books; music, even more music; animals of all kinds (except bugs). Oh, and I like other stuff but whenever it comes time for me to list shit, I can't remember. Go figure.
-Dislikes: SPIDERS; bugs; bridges; stupid-ass commercials; stupid-ass people; the dentist; the ocean; dying (not that I've experienced that quite yet); public speaking; mangoes; peaches. Oh, and other stuff I can't remember. OH. I hate it when toothpaste falls onto your shirt when you're brushing your teeth. And then when you wash it off, it'll fade away and come back at a later time.
-Personality: I can be loud, obnoxious, and all around freakish with my friends. I'm also rather reserved and shy at times, and I tend to have a very moody personality. I like to be by myself a lot. I don't automatically jump to conclusions about people, and I try not to judge people by the way they look. Also, my memory is just horrible with simple things. So if I forget something you said, it's not you. It's most definitely me.
-Music: Nickelback; Three Days Grace; My Darkest Days; Black Veil Brides; Vocaloid; Eminem; Skillet; Linkin Park; Katy Perry; Red; Eyes Set to Kill; The Neighborhood; Walk the Moon; Yeah Yeah Yeahs; and much, much more.
-Favorite Song: Face Down, by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.
-Movies: Fast and Furious franchise. I love those movies to death. Torque. I'm a sucker for action car/motorcycle movies, as well as action movies. Jurassic Park franchise. The Punisher (2003); Columbiana. Rise of the Guardians. We're the Millers. I like many more movies, but I just can't remember.
-Books: Besides the shit we read in school, you mean? Chances are that if I've read it, I've liked it. And I've read a lot of books.
-Television: Danny Phantom; Free! Iwatobi Swim Club; Attack on Titan; Junjou Romantica; Black Butler; Durarara!!; Pokemon; The Vampire Diaries; The Fosters; Criminal Minds; Dexter; Law & Order: SVU; CSI; Ben 10; Generator Rex; Nikita; Buffy the Vampire Slayer; a few more as well.
-Sexual Preference: ?????????
-Hobbies: Writing on my laptop, whether it be Fanfics or my own works; reading; listening to music; sleeping; hanging with friends sometimes; talking to Skellingtonfan1 for hours at a time.
An Original Poem, made by Skellingtonfan1.
I live in a world...
Where being normal is too mundane, too boring for a human being...
Where animals talk, and actually have something to say...
Where Christmas is magical, and miracles actually happen...
Where Halloween is brought by a dancing skeleton and a rag doll woman...
Where snow is because of a man with scissors for hands...
Where superheroes protect the innocent...
Where wardrobes have magical worlds inside...
Where wizards and witches are common...
Where owls bring the mail...
Where imagination powers everything...
Where half-god children go on adventures...
Where ghosts are real, and many are friendly...
Where anyone can fly, if they believe...
Where children never grow old...
Where fairies exist...
Where everyone is different...
Where the beds are made for jumping...
Where we spend the day laughing...
I live in a world different from everything, care to join me?
From my good friend, Skell. She's on my favorite authors list. Check her out! ;)
Welcome to Skellingtonfan1 and I's odd chats portion of my profile. That's right. They're so epic, they need their own section. ;D
Me: Also, I was asked a question by a guy on FictionPress. Why DO girls love yaoi so much??? I don't know how to answer. XD
Skell: Yes, why WOULD a girl like to watch two drop-dead handsome men f*ck each other? The mystery will never be solved...
Me: ...I think I have my answer.
Skell: Okay, Joshie poo, let's make up some stalkers for you! :D
Me: READY. SET. DRAW.
Josh: Have I mentioned that I hate you people?
Me: Yeah, but we've learned to turn your hate words into "TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME".
Skell: *hyped up from yaoi fangirlism* Destery, maybe Josh would feel better if you snuggled against his neck. :D
Me: :D Much better.
Destery: Joshy, I'm sad. Cheer me up. ;)
Josh: Josh can't come to the pervert right now. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEP.
Destery: When you get back, Joshy, I'm going to ravish you. I'll trail my hands all the way down to-
Josh: BEEP. BEEP. FUCKING BEEP. NO MORE ROOM LEFT ON THE MESSAGE MACHINE. NONE. BEEP.
Skell: *passed out from Destery's nosebleed inducing hotness*
Skell: I remember...back when you were just another reviewer for Internet Madness...
Me: I do, too... And I remember...back when I had no Internet friends... AND THEN YOU CAME ALONG! *plays heartwarming music* SHUT THAT SHIT OFF AND LET'S GET SOME AWESOME THEMESONG PLAYING.
Skell: YEAH. *plays SF-A2 Miki's Lience* LET'S GET SOME TECHNO IN THIS BITCH!
Josh: NO MORE FUCKING POTATOES.
Skell: I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT MAKING LOVE TO POTATOES.
Skell: I like potatoes.
Josh: WE KNOW YOU LIKE FUCKING POTATOES.
Skell: I AM THE SKELL FAN. FEAR ME!
Josh: That's wonderful.
Skell Fan: THAT'S WONDERFUL. FEAR ME.
Josh: *pauses* No...
Skell Fan: NO... FEAR ME.
Skell: YES, I HAVE CREATED A NEW ANNOYANCE TOOL!
Skell Fan: YES, I HAVE CREATED A NEW ANNOYANCE TOOL. FEAR ME.
Skell: I dedicated a page in my sketchbook to our weird convos! WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN SIBLINGS.
And there was that one page dedicated to Damian and Destery, but that's not important right now...
Me: WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN! We would've been unstoppable... SO UNSTOPPABLE!
Skell: ...maybe that's why we were separated in the first place...
Me: ...damn. That is so true, that it's not even funny... Okay, it's hilarious, but still. XD
Skell: IT WE EVER MEET AND DO A BROFIST IN REAL LIFE, THE WORLD WOULD EXPLODE.
Me: ...you thinking what I'm thinking? XD
Skell: WE MEET IN VEGAS IN THREE WEEKS.
Me: BRING IT!
Muse: ...there's a note on your back, Codi.
Me: ...what the hell? *pulls it off*
You and the pixie are going down.
...I'm trying not to laugh.
Muse: I already am.
Nebula: *from her mother's cafe, about to take a sip of coffee* ...someone needs to die. There's a disturbance in the Force.
Skell: AND ROUND ONE BEGINS.
Skell: Yup. I like potatoes.
Me: If Josh wasn't being mauled, he'd probably say...*clears throat*... WE KNOW YOU LIKE FUCKING POTATOES. :D
Skell: Joshy, I do not have sexual intercourse with potatoes. That's just wrong.
Skell: Destery Marshall: Makes males everywhere reconsider their sexuality.
Skell: DESTERY, YOU SEXY BEAST.
Skell: *clutches heart* OH GOD...
Me: I'M SORRY. I COULDN'T HELP IT. IT WAS TOO GOOD TO PASS UP.
Skell: YOU'VE KILLED ME.
Me: ...I'LL WRITE YOU BACK TO LIFE- FUCK, THAT ONLY WORKS WITH CHARACTERS.
Skell: IT'S OKAY, MY GHOST CAN KEEP TYPING...
Me: GHOST WRITER- OH, FUCK, ANOTHER PUN.
Skell: SEE, THIS IS WHY I'M DEAD.
Skell: The power of yaoi brought me back.
Me: That's a pretty strong power... *nods head* I can see how two hot guys fucking would do that. XD
Skell: I drew a picture of Destery in my sketchbook, *which is now full* : "All good men are Gay, Fictional, or Taken. This is an example of all three."
On the next page is chibi sketches of you and me with our weirdest conversations. The pigeon porno one confused a lot of people.
Me: OMFG. YESH.
And yeah, not many understood the powers of pigeon porno... XD
Skell: Then there was me saying "Yes, why on EARTH would a female like to watch 2 sexy men bang each other?" in the corner was "-explaining yaoi-"
Josh: She's going to maim you for saying that.
Me: Yeah, but she'd probably maim you more if you said her real name. ;D
Josh: Who'd be stupid enough to-
Me: *cups hands around mouth* JOSH CALLED NEB 'ELIZA'!
Josh: What?! No, I didn't-
Me: HE DID. THE STUPID BOY DID.
Skell: *vending machine crashes through window*
Dammit, I just finished fixing the last one...
Skell: *door is torn off hinges*
Nebula: WHERE IS HE!?
Nebula: *grabs closest available blunt object* Give me ten minutes.
Me: o.o... *flattens against wall* Poor Joshy... Still funny, though...
Josh: DON'T LET HER GET ME. D:
Me: You think I have the guts to get in her path?
Josh: SHOVE MUSE.
Nebula: Hello, JOSHUA. *shoves him in closet* Hold my calls while I'm busy. *goes into closet and slams door*
.*incredibly girlish scream of pain*
Nebula: *comes out with mysterious red stain on cheek* Alright, I'm done. *leaves*
.*even longer beat*
Skell: Uh...does anyone else wanna check if Josh is alive...?
Skell: Ah, a wonderful day to read about Josh getting molested by gay twins.
Skell: WAL MART IS A COMMUNIST ORGANIZATION TRYING TO OVERTHROW AMERICA WITH IT'S LOW PRICES.
Me: ...don't you go to Wal Mart, like, all the time? XD
Skell: Yeah. I didn't say it was a BAD Communist Organization.
Skell: Yeah, those plots tend to suck. I tend to throw around names to show that there are way too many species to name. Apparently they all exist in the Wings-verse.
Me: Unicorns are nice. And it just adds to the universe. Like, this COULD happen, but it doesn't mean you'll see it. :D
Skell: YUS. STRING THE FANS ALONG.
Me: GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT IN FAKE WORDS OF NONSENSE.
Skell: IT'S SO MUCH FUN WATCHING THEIR FACES AS I LEAD THEM ALONG
Me: It's like, "In this world there are unicorns."
"Yup! And you'll never hear about them again."
Skell: You know, I remember back when Destery's family first got the "he's gay" idea...
10 year old Destery: *while passing a farm* PONIES!!!!!8D 8D 8D
...I made him such a flamboyant child...
Skell: And knowing Destery he'd probably pull Damian close and try to calm him the fuck down before he passes out.
Me: Aw... Destery
Skell: Because we both know he's a sweetie under all that pervert.
Skell and I: Nice shoes.
Skell: Had to do that "7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens" thing. I answered every question with a funny answer.
"What was a bad habit you got rid of, and what was the positive effect?"
"Stopped resisting ponies, gained Pony Swag."
Skell: BECAUSE A DESTERY THAT DOESN'T LIKE DICK JUST ISN'T DESTERY.
Skell: Tee hee, Destery in a closet...
Skell: MY SUBWAY BRINGS ALL THE PEOPLE TO THE YARD...
Me: AND THEY'RE LIKE, "YOU WANNA GIFT CARD?" DAMN RIGHT. I WANNA GIFT CARD. I WILL BUY ONE. IT'S PLASTIC AND HARD.
Skell: Tee hee, plastic and hard...
Me: Oh, yes.
Skell: You were such a dumbass.
Me: Still am. :D
Me: All hail my stupidity. :D Or run it over. Either one.
Skell: RUN IT OVER.
Skell: IT'S TOO LARGE TO CONTROL. SO IT MUST BE DESTROYED.
Me: Farewell, stupidity. *waves*
Skell: *blows up stupidity*
Me: Oh, pretty lights :D
Skell: *talking about Destery* That boy has the libido of an entire rabbit colony...
Me: I HAD TO GET READY FOR "BED" AND I WAS READING SOMETHING REAL QUICK. I KNOW. D:
Skell: I SHOULD HIT YOU FOR THIS
Me: BRING ON THE BITCHSLAPPING.
Skell: I'LL BITCHSLAP YOU WITH A BAT
Me: ...DO IT. MAYBE IT'LL GET MY ASS IN GEAR.
Skell: *GETS BAT*
Skell: *BIG BAT WITH SPIKES ON IT*
Me: ...OH, COME ON.
Skell: *ON FIRE*
Me: ...now you're just fucking with me.
Skell: *WITH TINIER SPIKES ON THE BIG SPIKES*
Me: ...HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?
Skell: *ALSO ON FIRE*
Me: YOU DAMN TROLL.
Me: -_-" Well, I think I'm getting in gear...
Skell: WRITE FASTER
Skell: *BEATS WITH TROLLBAT*
Me: OW- FUCKER DAMMIT- DO YOU WANT THESE DRABBLES OR NOT?
Skell: I WOULD LIKE THEM YES PLEASE.
Me: THEN DROP THE TROLLBAT.
Skell: *puts it in Trollbat case* It comes back out if I catch you slacking.
Me: Aye aye. *salute*
Yup. Pure friendship right here. Threatening each other with drabbles and Internet bats.
Skell: We also call each other bitch and talk about mansex.
Me: *explains how a bear got into a teacher's car and destroyed the inside*
Skell: Dammit Smokey, this is not how you prevent wildfires...
Skell: That picture is one of the things that boy loves more than AIR. He will push you on a fucking land mine to keep that thing.
Me: I could picture that.
Skell: ...you did not just make that pun- *CLUTCHES HEART*
Me: On another note, my one friend is now calling me "Fag-a-tron." Don't know what kind of transformer I'm supposed to become...
Skell: Simple. You turn into a trashy van with shag carpeting that plays porn music on the radio.
Me: With a rainbow flag attached to the antenna. Got it.
Skell: You would make an amazing Transformer.
Me: With style like that, yes, I would. :D
Skell: Today: "I'm a special kind of stupid. I think a flamethrower is the best way to approach a spider."
Me: ...this is genius.
Skell: I'm a special child.
Skell: I'm just going to slink away to my little computer corner and stay there for 2 months.
Me: Sounds good.
Skell: "*slink slink* Now watch as my body and this chair morph into one..."
Skell: "Skell, get up." "I CANNOT. *tears away blanket* MY LEGS ARE NOW WHEELS."
Skell: I should shower, actually...
...but I don't wanna move...
Me: You're attached to the chair again, aren't you?
Me: Thought so.
Skell: MY LEGS HAVE BECOME WHEELS...AND THE MAN ROOM ISN'T ATTACHED TO THE HOUSE.
Me: YOU, MA'AM, ARE FUCKED.
Skell: Oh for christs sake: I GOT HIPSTER SHADES
Skell: My face is very hard to shop for.
Me: HIPSTER SHADES
Skell: It's very thin at the temples so almost every pair I tried on was too wide.
Skell: We went around for a while, I even tried on some made for little kids, AND THEN THE DOCTOR WENT TO THE BACK AND PRODUCED RAY BANS. Me: *turns to Dad* To hipster or not to hipster?
Me: You certainly hipstered.
Skell: At the time I had my headphones around my neck and was wearing a Doctor Who shirt and spiked converse. I was certainly a hipster.
Me: AND NOW YOU'LL HAVE THE GLASSES
Skell: And when fall comes I CAN WEAR MY SCARF AND SOME SKINNY JEANS AND DRINK STARBUCKS WHILE OBVIOUSLY WRITING SOMETHING ON MY MACBOOK COMPUTER LOL
Skell: And over my hipster glass, I CAN WEAR SOME PUNCHED OUT 3D GLASSES. BECAUSE ONE SET OF HIPSTER SHADES IS TOO MAINSTREAM.
Me: ...I freaking can't right now-
Skell: YO, I HEARD YOU LIKE HIPSTERS SO I PUT SOME HIPSTER IN YOUR HIPSTER SO YOU CAN HIPSTER WHILE YOU HIPSTER
Me: I'M TRYING... BUT I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO PROPERLY REPLY TO THAT COMMENT. XD
I SWEAR I WILL START SINGING SOON...
AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII, WIIIIIIIIIIIIIILL ALWAYS LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU
WOMAN I AM BORED OUT OF MY MIND
AND ON THE FIRST DAY, GOD SAID 'FUCK YALL BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKERS, LET THERE BE HOMESTUCK'
Skell: You know what's funny?
Me: Do I WANT to know?
Skell: HIPSTERS IN A CONGA LINE
Me: ...WHAT THE SHIT?
Me: WHAT? WHY WHY WHAT? I CAN'T EVEN...
Skell: LET'S GET SOME GODDAMN HIPSTERS DOIN A MOTHAFUCKIN CONGA
Me: YOU CAN JOIN IN WITH YOUR NEW HIPSTER SELF.
Skell: BITCH I BE LEADIN THAT LINE OFF A CLIFF. YEEEEEEEEAH BOOOOI I BE CONGA-IN BEFO IT WAS COOL
Me: *FACE PALM*
Skell: IMMA GANSTA HIPSTER
LOL WHITE PEOPLE
Me: ...fuck it. Who needs to breathe-
Skell: YOU JUST HATIN CUZ I'M BLACK
Me: I'M NOT EVEN SURE HOW TO RESPOND TO THAT. I'M NOT EVEN SURE.
Skell: BITCHES BE JEALOUS OF MY HIPSTER SWAG
Me: You know what? Shit's even funnier at 3:39 in the morning.
MAAAAHMALAAADE AND CHEEESE
Me: I think I inhaled pillow fibers when I tried to smother my laughter...
Skell: The sad thing is that I'm still completely coherent. My brain is used to my sleep schedule.
MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHMALADE AND CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE
Marmel marmel marmel marmel
Me: Shit I cant'-
Me: WHAT IS THIS MARMALADE?
Skell: I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA.
Me: MARMALADE, WHAT SAY YOU?
Skell: HE SAY 'HAM'
CATSBY AND TWISP, CATSBY AND TWISP
Me: SAYS THE MARMALADE.
Skell: SAY THEE ROYAL MAAAAAHMALAAADE
Skell: But still: YUM YUM CRISPIN FREEMAN
Me: DAT VOICE, YO
Skell: I'd likie to kidnap him just to hear him talk all day.
Me: It'd be like angels just screaming to be released...
Skell: We're demented.
Me: I regret nothing.
Me: OH GOD, IF IT CAN STAND AGAINST THE TROLLBAT...
Skell: IT'S JUST BEEN FUCKING WITH US THE WHOLE TIME.
Me: ...YOU BASTARD.
Skell: *GLARES AT MOUSE*
Me: YOUR DAY WILL COME, MOUSE. AND IT WILL COME HARD.
...that's what Destery said...
Skell: PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF- he probably actually said that at least once.
Me: Sounds about right.
Skell: COME AT ME BRO
Me: *TAPS CHEST* YOUR MOVE.
Skell: ...how the hell does one fight over the Internet...?
Me: ...I don't know, but we managed to do it over a box of fruit rollups...
Me: ...I try not to analyze our conversations. It'll only make my brain cells divide by zero...
Skell: Damian does ruler-fu. :D
Me: ...and dying...
My OCs and Skell's OCs
Josh: I weigh nothing.
Me: You're a fat nothing.
Josh: WHAT THE HELL?
Josh: ...they're having sex up there? (From "Super Bowl 46")
Destery: *in reference to a recently passed out Josh* Damian, there's an elf on our kitchen floor...
Shane Crane: Don't tell me to take a break. I am installing a MEGAS operation program and trying to get the Spiral Engine running and THIS DAMN LEG won't function with the rocket boosters AND I STILL CAN'T GET THE COMBINING FUNCTION WORKING, SO DON'T TELL ME TO TAKE A BREAK. I'M NOT BREAKING UNTIL THIS THING CAN KILL OPTIMUS PRIME WITHOUT HIM COMING BACK LIKE ROBOT JESUS.
Josh: Pixie bitch.
Nebula: Elfish whore.
Destery: That is the GAYEST thing I have ever seen, and I fuck dudes on the weekend.
Destery: If God hates fags, I don't get why he made me so sexy.
Destery: Yes, yes, I'll go to hell and whatnot. You keep ranting while I enjoy my expensive martini and flat screen television in my custom hot tub.
Destery: Just got hate mail saying I was corrupting children. Stupid woman. I only corrupt small children on Tuesdays.
Destery: My phone activated voice command and I felt like being a smartass. Apparently telling it to make you a sammich results in calling your spouse.
Destery: I just got stabbed in the hand with a spoon. Note: Never threaten to take Nebby's donuts.
Destery: I've been hit with a book seven times today. The knowledge burns within me now. It feels like painful throbbing.
Destery: I still have no idea why everyone is afraid of me when I wake up. All I do is glare and they think I'm a serial killer... Speaking of, when someone says serial killer I think of cereal killer. Nothing funnier than stabbing your Cheerios to death.
Josh: I do not care how it comes as long as it does. Some people wish to live forever. I consider them idiots.
Destery: I'm like a drug. You can't quit me.
Adrian Marsh: I do care. Just not enough.
Adrian: Where are my fucking Twinkies?
Ree: You just hate me 'cause I'm black.
Tyler: Dude, that joke was dead when the last black guy did it.
Ree: Nah, I think I can pull it off here.
Tyler: You's a short white girl. No way you pullin' it off.
Ree: You're just jealous because you can't pull it off.
Tyler: I'm actually black-
Josh: Are... Are we seriously- Why are we having this conversation?
Ree: *to Josh* Dwarf.
Josh: How can you even say that!? You're shorter than me!
Ree: Yeah, but I have the personality to make up for it.
Josh: ...fuck me. (No, not in that way.)
Josh: I will slaughter you.
Brady: I'm just in it for the sex.
Quotes of My Life
--Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! *clap, clap* I feel complete.
--Me: If you don't know what you're doing, clap your hands. *clap, clap*
--Me: May I search through your purse in a strange fashion?
--Me and Gabby: We do some screwed up shit when we're fucked up. We say some screwed up shit when we're fucked up. The one time I was fucked up, I didn't say shit.
--Me: Good fairies. They are in a different category from the typo fairies and the fairies that steal shit like the match to one of your socks.
--Me: If you want to hit somebody, clap your hands. *clap, clap*
--Marshal: Choose your next words carefully, Codiak. You're walking on thin water.
--Me: I'm not a pyromaniac. That blazing flame and the fact that I'm holding a packet of matches IS A COMPLETE COINCIDENCE.
--Me: I'm married to my subconscious. We get along quite nicely.
--Me: I'm married to my subconscious. We get along quite nicely except for when we argue.
Friend: How is that getting along nicely?
Me: We work it out.
--Gabby: It's blunt, so it would probably hurt more.
Me: *cuddling with the wooden door stop*
Gabby: Let me see that.
Me: I'm concerned.
Gabby: I just want to measure it.
--Emily: *glances at Gabby* French horns are cool...
Me: Emily, you're only saying that because she's holding an eight inch wooden stick.
--Me: I like the way I am. Randomly losing sanity.
--Mike: *on a chat* cuz the unexpected is expected by the unexpecting people who judge the expecting people to be unexpected
--Me (as Mike is coming up behind me while I'm eating dinner): I knew you were there.
Mike: What? Felt a disturbance in the force?
Me: Yeah. It was like, 'Thump. Thump.'
Mike: You calling me fat?
--Kiki: Like, the square dimension of pie!
Me: ...there's a square dimension to a circle?
--Thorn: What am I thinking about?
Thorn: DAMN IT. Now what?
Thorn: DAMN IT. Okay, now what?
Thorn: DAMN. IT. NOW WHAT?
Thorn: DAMN IT.
Me: Are you just screwing with me?
Thorn: No. NOW WHAT?
Thorn: ...DAMN IT!
--"Tell your friend a lie. If he keeps it secret, then tell him the truth." Ancient Proverb.
--Actually, guns do kill people.
--"If at first you don't succeed...go back and reload the gun." Unknown
--Some people are only alive because it's illegal to shoot them. (I have this as a wooden sign on my wall.)
--We are not retreating...we are advancing in another direction.
--They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled "BANG!", I don't think you'd kill too many people.
--Whoever said "anything is possible" never tried to slam a revolving door.
--Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
--Everyday I think people can't get any dumber. Every day I'm proven horribly wrong.
--Never knock on Death's door. Ring the door bell and run like heck. He hates it.
--Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
--I stopped fighting my inner demons quite some time ago. We're on the same side now.
--Be the type of woman, that when your feet land on the floor when you get out of bed in the morning, the devil thinks: "Oh, crap! She's up!"
--Note to self: It is illegal to stab people for being stupid.
--I did not hit you, I simply high-fived your face.
--Someday we'll look back on all this and crash the car.
--Eagles may soar, but wolves don't get sucked up into jet engines.
--"Pardon me while I find a container for my joy." Debbie of the Wild Thornberrys
--"Of course, you realize this means war." Bugs Bunny
--If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.
--Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls.
--"Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat." Unknown
--Do not argue with an idiot, he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
--Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.
--Most learn by observation. Some learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually touch the fire to see if it is hot.
--Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
--There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It’s just weird when you lose.
--"What no wife of a writer can ever understand is that a writer is working when he's staring out of the window." Burton Rascoe
--"The best time for planning a book is while you're doing the dishes." Agatha Christie
--I'm not fluent in stupid so speak slowly to me. (Another wooden sign on my wall.)
--What are those football players doing on the band's field? (And another wooden sign on my wall.)
--"The road to Hell is paved with adverbs." Stephen King
--"It is impossible to discourage the real writers- they don't give a damn what you say, they're going to write." Sinclair Lewis
--"Loafing is the most productive part of a writer's life." James Norman Hall
--"Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia." E.L. Doctorow
--"Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?" Ernest Gaines
--"There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex; they should draw the line at goats." Elton John
--"Why can't they have gay people in the army? Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand guys with M16's going, 'Who'd you call a faggot?'" John Stewart
--"People fear death even more than pain. It’s strange that they fear death. Life hurts a lot more than death. At the point of death, the pain is over." Jim Morrison
1. Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2. Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3. Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5. Do not go out in public.
6. Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.
7. Note expressions.
8. Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9. Floor is slippery when wet.
10. Lake is slippery when dry.
11. Only talk to strangers you know.
12. Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13. For legal purposes be sure to delete above note.
14. Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15. Kill them for security purposes.
16. Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings.
17. Make a scene whenever humanly possible.
18. The men in white coats are not your friends.
19. Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects.
20. When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.
21. Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning.
22. Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.
23. Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.
24. Always remember, um... um... Damn.
25. Train army of flying monkeys.
26. Goldfish don't like milk.
27. Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.
28. Find out who invented the word "pianist".
29. People are staring at you.
30. So act insane.
31. People are weird, but not as weird as me.
32. Do not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... And teeth.
33. Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people.
34. Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experiance. Do this as much as possible.
35. You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... Bonding.
36. Never pet a burning dog.
37. Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you are wearing a parka.
38. Naked men dig parkas.
39. Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.
40. You know what would look good on you?
41. Immolated cockroaches.
42. Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug.
43. The size of Danny DeVito.
44. Making an amusing facial expression. Like this.
45. Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.
46. Stalking is fun. Do it more.
47. Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree!"
48. No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world.
49. That way is rum.
50. Constipated people don't give a sh-t.
52. You cannot kill the snow.
53. The snow can kill you.
54. Grass can also kill you.
55. The leprechaun on the cereal box said I can't get his lucky charms...
56. Catch and castrate leprechaun.
57. HE is real... No matter what the men in white coats say.
58. Staple paper in the middle of the page.
59. In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.
60. You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that.
61. Pretend to be so around teh n00bs.
62. Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul sucking demon.
63. Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?
64. Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork.
65. Remember to kill HIM...
66. Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.
67. Note reactions. Avoid parents.
68. The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.
69. Scream, the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice.
70. Hide the bodies, otherwise peole ask embarressing questions.
71. Eat the evidence.
72. But not if it's broken glass.
73. When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run.
74. Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats kids.
75. Disregard last note.
76. Note reactions.
77. On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year.
78. Stock up on ball point pens.
79. Learn to fly. Tell no one.
80. The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.
81. Do not stick fingers into blender.
82. Blender... Bad... Ouch.
83. Blood loss is bad.
84. Find way to re-attatch fingers.
85. Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.
86. Answer every question with a question.
87. Ask people what gender they are.
88. Note reactions.
89. Refer to people as "mortal".
90. The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.
91. Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.
92. Start by drowning them in fire ants.
93. Find the creators of pop-up messages.
94. Kill them.
96. Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination.
97. Dunk head in boiling water.
98. Disregard last note. Was written by Voice #7.
99. Gullible IS written on the ceiling!
100. Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down...
--"Video Memories" This has been edited for a second time. Status: COMPLETE.
--"Prank Wars" This has been edited: Status: COMPLETE.
--"Missing Her" Dedication to my goldfish. This has been edited. Status: COMPLETE.
--"The Fight" Final Counts: Reviews: 31. Favorites: 92. Views: 2,518. Follows: 2. Status: DELETED.
--"Be Mine" Valentine's Day themed. This has been highly edited. Status: COMPLETE.
--"KEK Chats" Final Counts: Reviews: 20. Favorites: 21. Views: 1,926. Follows: 8. Status: DELETED
--"Cliff Side" This has been edited. Status: COMPLETE.
--"That New Car Smell" This has been edited. Status: COMPLETE.
--"Broom Closets are So Wrong" This has been edited. Status: COMPLETE.
--"Walking the Line" This has been edited. Status: COMPLETE.
--"Deserves a Flame!" Crack fic. This has been edited. Status: COMPLETE.
--"Aurora's 25 Topic Challenge" A challenge from Aurora Borealis 97. This has been edited. Status: COMPLETE.
--"The Dentist" This has been edited. Status: COMPLETE.
--"Beliefs" Easter themed. This has been edited. Status: COMPLETE.
--"The Affect It Holds" A venting and a dedication. This has been edited. Status: COMPLETE.
--"Because Titles Are For Losers (BTAFL)" Chat story. Currently being edited bit-by-bit. Status: FOREVER ONGOING.
--"A Toasting Challenge" A challenge made from a chapter in "BTAFL". This has been edited. Challenge Status: Always Open. Status: COMPLETE.
--"Cracking the Facade (CtF)" Status: HIATUS.
--"Memories Come to Haunt (MCtH)" The sequel to Video Memories. This has been edited as far. Status: HIATUS.
--"Super Bowl 46" Super Bowl themed. Features characters from "BTAFL". This has been edited. Status: COMPLETE.
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