Author has written 20 stories for Danny Phantom.
And neither do I.
Heyo, I'm Codiak.
NOTE: Personal information about me ("Random Stuff About Me") is right after this. And then there's "Other Stuff About Me, which is more close up information.
NOTE: My "Story Log" is AT THE VERY BOTTOM above the actual stories.
NOTE: If you feel like drawing something (Deviantart) for one of my Fanfictions, have at it. Just tell me first so I can find it. I can't draw, so...
My DA account is CodiakM. I have a god awful picture of something called "Kevin" there. Note to world: don't ever draw something that looks like Kevin. Just don't do it.
NOTE: I have a tumblr. codiakm . tumblr . com Hit me up on there. It's probably the best way to get in contact with me. ;D
NOTE: I have a tumblr specifically for my writing. kclarkins . tumblr . com
I have a FictionPress account under the same name (Codiak). I finally posted on there, even though I'm paranoid, and if you want me to read and review something of yours, let me know.
If you ever have a question about something, send me a PM (or an ask on tumblr). I will eventually answer it, but just know that I have the misfortune of being a procrastinator.
Disclaimer: Danny Phantom does not belong to me. Thank you and have a nice day. ;)
(If the line breaks have disappeared, I'm sorry about that. I don't know what's up with this.)
Random Stuff About Me...
-I love Danny Phantom! One of my favorite shows of all time!
-I love to read and write.
-My favorite colors are black, silverish-white, neon green, and icy blue.
-I love animals.
-Daydreaming is one of my favorite pass times.
-Daydreaming about what it would be like to have a life is an even bigger pass time.
-I wish all of that fake cartoon, book, fantasy crap was real.
-I talk to myself about the fake cartoon, book, fantasy crap...a lot.
-I explain things I already know about or have witnessed to myself, then I yell at myself for talking to myself, and find myself exactly where started...talking to myself.
-I have one too many nicknames... I wish the group of nicknamers would get together and decide on one.
-I think that meerkats should have their own holiday. They live in the ground just like groundhogs do.
-Between Harry Potter and all of the other things I read and watch, I'm confused on whether witches and wizards should have magic wands.
-The Burger King guy is creepy... I'm not alone on that decision.
-I am a Grammar Nazi, even though I tend to make my own mistakes.
-I'm not perfect, but neither are you.
-Simple gestures can really change a person's day. The middle finger is one of those gestures.
-I am distracted by shiny objects and sometimes find myself staring at light fixtures.
-I like to laugh.
-I hate most of the human population.
-I am a girl, chick, lady-friend, female companion, girlfriend, whatever you want to call it... I still have different parts than a guy.
-I play the alto saxophone. Her name is Autumn and she is a filthy slut. Anyhow.
-I wonder... People say you are as white as a sheet. What if the sheet was blue?
-I try to stay calm and care free.
-I'm an introvert
-I prefer if people keep their hands out of my mouth. My dentist is lucky I don't bite him. That brings me to my next subject... The dentist's office smells like death and I find myself wanting to hiss every time I see their sign on the road. Sometimes I do.
-Small children sometimes scare me. They are unpredictable little monsters who often possess sticky hands. Actually, I hate children. Fun fact.
-I learned some sign language. I can now curse you out without you knowing.
-I hate commercials that have those stupid jingle rhymes. Injury? Call DLP to name one.
Other Stuff About Me...
-Hair color: Brown with two red--faded to blondish--streaks on the side. I also have bangs that often obstruct my vision.
-Eye color: Brown (I want some epic contacts, though.)
-Sex: I'm a chick as previously stated in one of the above messages.
-Favorite Colors: Black, silver-white, neon green, icy blue. Also stated one of the above messages.
-Likes: Danny Phantom; writing; yaoi; books, books, some more books; music, even more music; animals of all kinds (except bugs because they're creatures from Hell). Oh, and I like other stuff but whenever it comes time for me to list shit, I can't remember. Go figure.
-Dislikes: SPIDERS; bugs; bridges; stupid-ass commercials; stupid-ass people; the dentist; the ocean; dying (not that I've experienced that quite yet); public speaking; mangoes; peaches. Oh, and other stuff I can't remember. OH. I hate it when toothpaste falls onto your shirt when you're brushing your teeth. And then when you wash it off, it'll fade away and come back at a later time.
-Personality: I can be loud, obnoxious, and all around freakish with my friends and complete strangers. Speaking of which, I love strangers because I have no shame in asking them whatever question I feel like asking. I'm also rather reserved and shy, and I tend to have a very pessimistic and moody personality. I like to be by myself a lot. I consider myself pretty damn calm and easy-going for the most part. I don't automatically jump to conclusions about people, and I try not to judge people by the way they look and I really admire that about myself. Hell, I want a lip ring and I have streaks in my hair, okay? I'm very trustworthy. If you tell me to keep something a secret, a secret it will remain. However, I have trust issues with other people. I also love the dark and twisted. Ask me about myself and more often than not, I'll respond that I'm "a morbid and sadistic bitch." Just saying. Also, my memory is just horrible with simple things. So if I forget something you said, it's not you. It's most definitely me.
-Music: Nickelback; Three Days Grace; Black Veil Brides; Vocaloid; Eminem; Skillet; Linkin Park; Katy Perry; Red; Eyes Set to Kill; and much, much more.
-Movies: Fast and Furious(all). I love those movies to death. Torque. I'm a sucker for action car/motorcycle movies, as well as action movies. The Punisher (2003); Columbiana. Rise of the Guardians. I like many more movies, but I just can't remember.
-Books: Besides the shit we read in school, you mean? Chances are that if I've read it, I've liked it. And I've read a lot of books.
-Television: Danny Phantom; Junjou Romantica; Black Butler; Durarara; Pokemon; Vampire Diaries; Criminal Minds; Dexter; Law & Order: SVU; CSI; Ben 10; Generator Rex; Nikita; Buffy the Vampire Slayer... A few more as well.
-Political Views: I like people who don't fuck shit up.
-Sexual Preference: At this point, I think I've established that I like dick. However, my closer friends are now calling me asexual and I can't actually disagree with a lot of their points. :I But I don't care one bit who you prefer. Go for it and live a happy life.
-Religious Views: I don't believe in God. And I have nothing against anyone of another religion or no religion. Celebrate your beliefs however you want, peoples! Just don't shove them down my throat. I am interested in Buddhism and Wiccan, however.
-Personal Sayings of Mine: "So have you engaged in unwise sexual intercourse as of late?"; "What is this?!?!"; "FEEL MY FAT NECK!" (Band.); "PUT YOUR HAND. IN MY BELL." (Band. Autumn's bell.); "Pears."; "Penguins."
-Hobbies: Writing on my laptop, whether it be Fanfics or my own works; reading; listening to music; sleeping; hanging with friends sometimes; talking to Skellingtonfan1 for hours at a time.
-Location: Pennsylvania. I want to leave.
An Original Poem, made by Skellingtonfan1.
I live in a world...
Where being normal is too mundane, too boring for a human being...
Where animals talk, and actually have something to say...
Where Christmas is magical, and miracles actually happen...
Where Halloween is brought by a dancing skeleton and a rag doll woman...
Where snow is because of a man with scissors for hands...
Where superheroes protect the innocent...
Where wardrobes have magical worlds inside...
Where wizards and witches are common...
Where owls bring the mail...
Where imagination powers everything...
Where half-god children go on adventures...
Where ghosts are real, and many are friendly...
Where anyone can fly, if they believe...
Where children never grow old...
Where fairies exist...
Where everyone is different...
Where the beds are made for jumping...
Where we spend the day laughing...
I live in a world different from everything, care to join me?
From my good friend, Skell. She's on my favorite authors list. Check her out! ;)
Welcome to Skellingtonfan1 and I's odd chats portion of my profile. That's right. They're so epic, they need their own section. ;D
Me: Also, I was asked a question by a guy on FictionPress. Why DO girls love yaoi so much??? I don't know how to answer. XD
Skell: Yes, why WOULD a girl like to watch two drop-dead handsome men f*ck each other? The mystery will never be solved...
Me: ...I think I have my answer.
Skell: Okay, Joshie poo, let's make up some stalkers for you! :D
Me: READY. SET. DRAW.
Josh: Have I mentioned that I hate you people?
Me: Yeah, but we've learned to turn your hate words into "TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME".
Skell: ALL ABOARD THE FAIL BOAT.
Me: CHOO CHOO... WAIT... THAT'S A TRAIN. BILLY MAYS HERE...AGAIN.
Skell: DAMMIT BILLY MAYS, GET IN THE THERMOS!
Me: BILLY MAYS HERE WITH THE NEW FENTON THERMOS. ARE YOU TIRED OF GHOSTS EATING YOUR SOUP? WELL, GET THE FENTON THERMOS.
Skell: DAMMIT BILLY MAYS, STOP TRYING TO SELL ME THINGS FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE!
Me: BILLY MAYS HERE WITH THE-
hangs bat over shoulder* That should do it. ;)
Skell: YAY BILLY MAYS IS NO MORE!
Me: For now...
Me: ...exactly. *glances nervously over shoulder and grips bat tighter*
Skell: *hides from Billy Mays*
Me: *feels breath on the back of my neck* If that's Billy Mays, I'm going to scream.
Me: ...BILLY MAYS HERE.
Skell: *hyped up from yaoi fangirlism* Destery, maybe Josh would feel better if you snuggled against his neck. :D
Me: :D Much better.
Destery: Joshy, I'm sad. Cheer me up. ;)
Josh: Josh can't come to the pervert right now. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEP.
Destery: When you get back, Joshy, I'm going to ravish you. I'll trail my hands all the way down to-
Josh: BEEP. BEEP. FUCKING BEEP. NO MORE ROOM LEFT ON THE MESSAGE MACHINE. NONE. BEEP.
Skell: *passed out from Destery's nosebleed inducing hotness*
Me: I start band camp next week. My vacation is shit now.
Skell: NOOOOOOO! Wow, these vacations SUCK...
Me: I KNOW! We should do something about this...
Skell: ...world domination with lightsabers?
Me: Yeah. That'll do. *opens closet* I'm going to Walmart to get one. Be back soon.
Josh: ...get me one.
Josh: *repeatedly bangs head against desk* I'm surrounded by irritating females.
Me: Yeah- We're not irritating! Jerk muffin!
Skell: CUPCAKE. Why are you a cupcake? BECAUSE CUPCAKES ARE GAY MUFFINS!
Me: THEY ARE! GAY MUFFINS!
Josh: Did you just call me gay?!?
Me: I think she did, yeah.
Josh: I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!
Skell: ...does SHE know you're a cupcake?
Josh: ...I AM NOT A CUPCAKE!
Josh: SHUT UP! *stomps foot*
Me: ...because that wasn't completely gay just now...
Skell: I remember...back when you were just another reviewer for Internet Madness...
Me: I do, too... And I remember...back when I had no Internet friends... AND THEN YOU CAME ALONG! *plays heartwarming music* SHUT THAT SHIT OFF AND LET'S GET SOME AWESOME THEMESONG PLAYING.
Skell: YEAH. *plays SF-A2 Miki's Lience* LET'S GET SOME TECHNO IN THIS BITCH!
Me: ...I just realized that if I become a cop, I'll have handcuffs.
Josh: Yeah, well, in the other chat, I'M ALREADY BONDED TO THE BED.
Me: Then how...are you here?
Skell: DOES NOT COMPUTE *brains hit the ceiling*
Josh: NO MORE FUCKING POTATOES.
Skell: I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT MAKING LOVE TO POTATOES.
Skell: I KNOW, THEIR REACTIONS ARE PRICELESS.
Me: LIKE THOSE COMMERICALS!
Silky ropes: $15
New recording tape for camera: $20
Look on Josh's face when he wakes up with Destery on top of him?
Josh: Look on Codi's face when I burn her iPod? Priceless.
Me: *holds iPod close* TOUCH IT AND I TURN YOU PERMANENTLY GAY.
Josh: ...never mind then.
Skell: I like potates.
Josh: WE KNOW YOU LIKE FUCKING POTATOES.
Skell: I AM THE SKELL FAN. FEAR ME!
Josh: That's wonderful.
Skell Fan: THAT'S WONDERFUL. FEAR ME.
Josh: *pauses* No...
Skell Fan: NO... FEAR ME.
Skell: YES, I HAVE CREATED A NEW ANNOYANCE TOOL!
Skell Fan: YES, I HAVE CREATED A NEW ANNOYANCE TOOL. FEAR ME.
Me: We're doomed.
Skell: Yes. Yes we are.
We will take it like...
Take it like real Fangirls.
Skell: We're cowards. We'll hide.
Me: LIKE REAL FANGIRLS!
Skell: I like the closet, nice and dark...
Me: That'll do.
Skell: Plenty of clothes to hide under.
Me: Behind the clothes...
Skell: Like my old Powerpuff Girls sweater. XD
She'll never find me there.
Skell: I never hang my clothes; like I said before, I'm a pig.
Me: Why do I lie to myself?
Skell: The economy????
Me: I have to hang my clothes- I HAVE TO CLEAN MY CLOSET ON LIKE MONDAY! NO! OMG, I'M GOING TO DIE!
The economy has been bad...
Skell: CLEANING CLOSETS IS DANGEROUS!!!!!
Me: I KNOW!
Skell: EVIL SWEATERS AND T-SHIRTS! EVERYWHERE!!!!
Me: And it only stay neat for like...2-3 hours tops.
Skell: Mine is never clean.
Me: Evil is not in Hell. It's in the closets.
Skell: Said by a true genius.
Me: Where things are piled and stacked and...evil.
Skell: I am so putting this on my profile later.
Me: Me too!
Great minds think alike.
Skell: Yes, yes they do. Look back at some of the stuff we've said...it's crazy...
Me: And true.
We should run the country.
Me: Just imagine... DP ensignia in every window...
Skell: Currency in Cookies instead of dollars.
I'm not sure, but it'd be awesome.
Skell: CHOCOLATE CAKE FRIDAYS AT THE OFFICE?
LIFE. IS. COMPLETE.
(Talking about Death Note)
Skell: Light is Kira.
Me: So...don't get attached to Light?
My friend's name is Kira.
Skell: It'll make sense when you get into it...
Skell: YOUR FRIEND KILLS PEOPLE?
I don't think so...
Is that what she's been doing?
Skell: I dedicated a page in my sketchbook to our weird convos! WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN SIBLINGS.
And there was that one page dedicated to Damian and Destery, but that's not important right now...
Me: WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN! We would've been unstoppable... SO UNSTOPPABLE!
Skell: ...maybe that's why we were separated in the first place...
Me: ...damn. That is so true, that it's not even funny... Okay, it's hilarious, but still. XD
Skell: IT WE EVER MEET AND DO A BROFIST IN REAL LIFE, THE WORLD WOULD EXPLODE.
Me: ...you thinking what I'm thinking? XD
Skell: WE MEET IN VEGAS IN THREE WEEKS.
Me: BRING IT!
Kelsie: ...there's a note on your back, Codi.
Me: ...what the hell? *pulls it off*
You and the pixie are going down.
...I'm trying not to laugh.
Kelsie: I already am.
Nebula: *from her mother's cafe, about to take a sip of coffee* ...someone needs to die. There's a disturbance in the Force.
Skell: AND ROUND ONE BEGINS.
Skell: DOOR'S OPEN. :D
Me: IN I GO! *smacks into door* Anytime now...
Skell: DAMMIT CODI, TWIST THE KNOB THEN WALK. WHY DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU HOW TO OPEN A DOOR?
Me: I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T KNOW! *grips knob* THIS HAS TO BE PRECISE- DAMMIT, OPEN. *turns knob other way* Ah... IN I GO. *trips over threshold* GOD DAMMIT.
Skell: If I told you I lived in Magical Strawberry Land, would you believe me? :D
Me: ...most likely. :D Nah, that would be a yes. XD
Skell: Yup. I like potatoes.
Me: If Josh wasn't being mauled, he'd probably say...*clears throat*... WE KNOW YOU LIKE FUCKING POTATOES. :D
Skell: Joshy, I do not have sexual intercourse with potatoes. That's just wrong.
Me: Also, Mike electricuted himself today.
Skell: ...he's so special. Good luck with him.
Mike: I am special. XD And Codi loves me!
Me: That's Mike for you. :D
Skell: Mike...Mikey...Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...cartoons...Hank Hill...MIKE IS PROPANE.
And there was my thought process.
Me: ...that's so going on my profile.
Skell: I hoped it would. :D
Skell: DAMMIT. OUR SCHEDULES LOVE TO SCREW US OVER. METAPHORICALLY. NOT ACTUALLY SCREWING US. THAT WOULD BE WRONG.
Me: YES. YES, THAT WOULD BE VERY WRONG.
Skell: But it was still awesome. EXPLODING PUMPKINS FTW.
Me: ANYTHING EXPLODING IS ALWAYS AWESOME.
Skell: THAT'S HOW MICHAEL BAY KEEPS HIS CAREER.
Me: ...too true...
Skell: After all, explosions keep the audiences captivated.
Me: Yes. Yes, they do.
Skell: ...not to mention dumb teenagers such as ourselves could stare at that shit for hours.
Me: ...I have the sudden urge to stare at that shit for hours...
Me: Oh, and I ate a cupcake from a house. I shouldn't have, but I did anyway and lived, so... At one point, I felt something hard (I was eating it with fingers to be safe) and nearly panicked. But it was a Hershey kiss, so I was all right. XD
Skell: OH YEAH CODI, SO SMART TO EAT STRANGE FOODS. TOO BAD ABOUT THE POISON IN THAT CUPCAKE I GAVE YOU. *is on crack*
Me: ...WHEN DID YOU GIVE ME A CUPCAKE...?
Skell: I'M TRYING TO SCREW WITH YOUR MIND, ISN'T IT OBVIOUS?
Me: YES. YES, IT IS, BUT I'M A BIT DIM AT THE MOMENT. OR SOMETHING.
Skell: Be careful, lawyers are one of the most acceptable joke targets out there. NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT LAYWERS...
Me: Aha, yeah... But we get paid nicely and drive lovely cars. :D
Skell: I got another idea today: fluffy moment when taking a bath. CAN YOU IMAGINE THE LEVEL OF FLUFF IN THAT?
Me: ...and the level of...other...stuff...
I know, double standard, we're both perverts.
BUT MY IDEA WAS PURE FLUFF AND NOW MY THOUGHTS ARE DIRTY.
Me: ...I'D SAY I'M SORRY, BUT I'M REALLY NOT. XD
Skell: DAMN YOU.
AND NOW I'M GOING TO FEEL AWKWARD WRITING THIS.
Me: HA. SUCKS FOR YOU.
Skell: HEY, WATCH IT.
COULD REFUSE TO SHARE MY FANFIC WITH YOU AND KEEP ALL THE DAMIAN/DESTERY TO MYSELF.
Me: ...I'M SORRY. D:
Skell: YOU BETTER BE.
...I find it odd that THAT has been the most effective threat I've ever used against you...
Me: ...really? Because I don't... XD
AND I AM.
Now I have a legitimate threat against you
Skell and I: My Pokemon brings all the nerds to the yard, and they're like, "You wanna trade cards?" Damn right. I wanna trade cards. I will trade you, but not my Charizard. (No, we didn't make it up.)
Skell: Destery Marshall: Makes males everywhere reconsider their sexuality.
Skell: DESTERY, YOU SEXY BEAST.
Skell: Damn, just when we stop doing lame puns you start rhyming...
Me: ...I know. I'm just that kind of a terrible person...
Skell: Oh please, we're both terrible people...
Me: WE CAN BE (wait for it) TERRIFICALLY TERRIBLE TOGETHER.
Yeah, I went there...
Skell: *clutches heart* OH GOD...
Me: I'M SORRY. I COULDN'T HELP IT. IT WAS TOO GOOD TO PASS UP.
Skell: YOU'VE KILLED ME.
Me: ...I'LL WRITE YOU BACK TO LIFE- FUCK, THAT ONLY WORKS WITH CHARACTERS.
Skell: IT'S OKAY, MY GHOST CAN KEEP TYPING...
Me: GHOST WRITER- OH, FUCK, ANOTHER PUN.
Skell: SEE, THIS IS WHY I'M DEAD.
Skell: The power of yaoi brought me back.
Me: That's a pretty strong power... *nods head* I can see how two hot guys fucking would do that. XD
Destery: (In reference to a recently passed out Josh) Damian, there's an elf on our kitchen floor...
Skell: I drew a picture of Destery in my sketchbook, *which is now full* : "All good men are Gay, Fictional, or Taken. This is an example of all three."
On the next page is chibi sketches of you and me with our weirdest conversations. The pidgeon porno one confused a lot of people.
Me: OMFG. YESH.
And yeah, not many understood the powers of pigeon porno... XD
Skell: Then there was me saying "Yes, why on EARTH would a female like to watch 2 sexy men bang each other?" in the corner was "-explaining yaoi-"
Josh: She's going to maim you for saying that.
Me: Yeah, but she'd probably maim you more if you said her real name. ;D
Josh: Who'd be stupid enough to-
Me: *cups hands around mouth* JOSH CALLED NEB 'ELIZA'!
Josh: What?! No, I didn't-
Me: HE DID. THE STUPID BOY DID.
Skell: *vending machine crashes through window*
Dammit, I just finished fixing the last one...
Skell: *door is torn off hinges*
Nebula: WHERE IS HE!?
Nebula: *grabs closest available blunt object* Give me ten minutes.
Me: o.o... *flattens against wall* Poor Joshy... Still funny, though...
Josh: DON'T LET HER GET ME. D:
Me: You think I have the guts to get in her path?
Josh: SHOVE LARKINS.
Nebula: Hello, JOSHUA. *shoves him in closet* Hold my calls while I'm busy. *goes into closet and slams door*
.*incredibly girlish scream of pain*
Nebula: *comes out with mysterious red stain on cheek* Alright, I'm done. *leaves*
.*even longer beat*
Skell: Uh...does anyone else wanna check if Josh is alive...?
Skell: Ah, a wonderful day to read about Josh getting molested by gay twins.
Skell: OH FUUUUUUUUU-
Skell: OH DUUUUUUUUUUU-
Skell: ...I was thinking "DUCK".
Me: Oh, I see... Well, then... DUUUUUUUUU-
Me: There we go.
Skell: :D I LIKE POTATOES...
Josh: Don't. Even. Start.
Josh: ...I've said this before...and I'll say it again... I'm going to slaughter you.
Skell: WE DON'T CARE, WE CAN WRITE YOU OUT OF EXISTANCE
Me: I'll make a clone who's into kinky things and...other X rated ideas...
Josh: ...I hate you.
Me: Ah... If I've heard it once, I've heard it a thousand times.
Skell: WOO JOSHY CLONE
Josh: I'm afraid to say no... The last time that happened, DESTERY was created and I don't need that again...
Me: ...he actually has a point this time. XD
Skell: Yeah...LET'S GO WRITE STUFF ABOUT DESTERY:D
Skell: WAL MART IS A COMMUNIST ORGANIZATION TRYING TO OVERTHROW AMERICA WITH IT'S LOW PRICES.
Me: ...don't you go to Wal Mart, like, all the time? XD
Skell: Yeah. I didn't say it was a BAD Communist Organization.
Skell: Yeah, those plots tend to suck. I tend to throw around names to show that there are way too many species to name. Apparently they all exist in the Wings-verse.
Me: Unicorns are nice. And it just adds to the universe. Like, this COULD happen, but it doesn't mean you'll see it. :D
Skell: YUS. STRING THE FANS ALONG.
Me: GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT IN FAKE WORDS OF NONSENSE.
Skell: IT'S SO MUCH FUN WATCHING THEIR FACES AS I LEAD THEM ALONG
Me: It's like, "In this world there are unicorns."
"Yup! And you'll never hear about them again."
Skell: You know, I remember back when Destery's family first got the "he's gay" idea...
10 year old Destery: *while passing a farm* PONIES!!!!!8D 8D 8D
...I made him such a flamboyant child...
Me: Who then grew into a FANTABULOUS, stalkerish, handsy, charming, gorgeous, sexy, seducing - the list goes on - teenager and adult-- WHO DID HE LOSE HIS VIRGINITY TO AND HOW'D IT HAPPEN? PFFT. WE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THIS. WE CREATED HIS BLONDE ASS.
Skell: ...I DON'T KNOW...WHY HAVEN'T WE THOUGHT OF THIS!?
Me: I THINK WE WERE TOO OBSESSED WITH HIM MOLESTING JOSH AND FINDING LOVE WITH DAMIAN THAT WE DIDN'T WANT TO WONDER...
LET'S JUST SAY IT WAS A ONE NIGHT STAND AND LET IT BE.
Skell: GONNA END UP MAKING A DRABBLE COLLECTION...
Me: THE NAUGHTY FILES.
Skell: YES. BEST IDEA EVER.
Me: Again, we should rule the country.
Skell: A COUNTRY WHERE YAOI IS DAILY CONVERSATION INSTEAD OF A TABOO TOPIC.
Skell: And knowing Destery he'd probably pull Damian close and try to calm him the fuck down before he passes out.
Me: Aw... Destery
Skell: Because we both know he's a sweetie under all that pervert.
Skell and I: Nice shoes.
Skell: Had to do that "7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens" thing. I answered every question with a funny answer.
"What was a bad habit you got rid of, and what was the positive effect?"
"Stopped resisting ponies, gained Pony Swag."
Skell: BECAUSE A DESTERY THAT DOESN'T LIKE DICK JUST ISN'T DESTERY.
Skell: Tee hee, Destery in a closet...
Josh: Pixie bitch.
Nebula: Elfish whore.
Skell: MY SUBWAY BRINGS ALL THE PEOPLE TO THE YARD...
Me: AND THEY'RE LIKE, "YOU WANNA GIFT CARD?" DAMN RIGHT. I WANNA GIFT CARD. I WILL BUY ONE. IT'S PLASTIC AND HARD.
Skell: Tee hee, plastic and hard...
Me: Oh, yes.
Destery: That is the GAYEST thing I have ever seen, and I fuck dudes on the weekend.
Skell *talking about drabbles: Oh yeah, I got a kick out of Lucifer. You should include some Bathy later on. BECAUSE THAT LEVEL OF HAPPY WOULD MAKE JOSH HAVE SOME SORT OF SEIZURE.
Me: *just now* Me: *starts drinking apple juice that expired 14 days ago* Watch, I wake up with stomach pains or some chiz.
Mom: If you wake up at all.
Skell: D'OH. CODI'S MOM...
Me: XD ...my side hurts now...
Me: ...yeah. ...oh, Jesus, why did I drink it? D: ...and I'm drinking hot chocolate and eating a banana. BAD MIXTURE.
Skell: BAD CODI, BAD.
Me: I COULDN'T RESIST. I WANTED THE JUICE SO BAD...
Me: I DON'T THINK IT'S WORKING. I'M JUST THAT RETARDED.
Skell: *MORE BITCHSLAP*
Me: ...YUP. FEELING IT NOW.
Me: THERE WE GO.
Skell: FEEL THE BURN.
Me: IT THROBS.
Skell: WITH FRIENDSHIP.
Skell: I wonder if I could eat my Mom...
Me: No, no, Skell. Canabolism is frowned upon in this society.
Skell: ...can I eat myself?
Me: ...I don't know...
Skell: I just licked my fingers. They aren't delicious.
Me: ...and do you taste fantastic- Well, there you go.
Skell: Nope. I taste terrible.
Me: That's unfortunate. ...I think.
Skell: I wish I tasted like chocolate.
Me: If you tasted like chocolate, then you would eat yourself and I would be lonely on the Internet. XD
Skell: Oh, right...
Skell: I forgot that's why I don't try chocolate-coating myself anymore.
Me: ...well, then...
Skell: I was a curious child. :D
Me: ...dear God.
Skell: It never worked, though, the filling tasted disgusting.
Skell: *smug emicon*
Me: ...wipe that smug emicon off your screen...
Skell: *smug smug smug*
Me: GODDAMN YOU.
Me: YOU'LL PROBABLY FINISH BEFORE ME. I'M STILL ON 12.
Me: BEHOLD MY MAD SKILLZ.
Skell: OF FAIL.
Skell: YOU BE FAILIN' GIRL.
Me: YOU SEE ME FAILIN'. YOU LAUGHIN'. ALL BECAUSE YOU THINK I'M WHITE AND FAILIN'.
Skell: SO WHAT AND FALLIN. *WHITE *FAILIN
DAMN NOW I'M FAILING. YOU INFECTED ME.
Me: HA. THAT IS WHAT YOU GET. I INFECT EVERYBODY. LIKE A BOSS.
Skell: YOU. ARE. PLAGUE.
Me: THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH ;D
Me: So anyhow... I think I'm about done with 12.
Me: SLEPT DEPRIVATION. I KEEP ALMOST FALLING ASLEEP IN MATH.
Skell: I need sleep too, I think my lack-of-food is wiping my energy.
Me: Damn you, Sand Man...
Skell: ...we should kill him... DOWN WITH NOCTURNE.
Me: DUN DUN DUUUUN. STOP TAKING MY DREAMS, BITCH.
Skell: WE SHOULD DEFINITELY KILL HIM.
Me: SKIN HIS STARRY HIDE.
Skell: AND MAKE A COMFY BLANKET OUT OF IT.
Me: SO WARM AND LOVELY.
Skell: I WOULD SNUGGLE THAT BITCH UP.
Me: WOOT. Hey, how do you think DP fans would react to this conversation? XD
Skell: ... Best not to tell them.
Me: ...I'm tempted to put this on my profile anyhow... XD
Skell: ...go ahead. :D
Me: GAME ON.
Skell: LET THEM SEE. *smug*
Skell: You were such a dumbass.
Me: Still am. :D
Me: All hail my stupidity. :D Or run it over. Either one.
Skell: RUN IT OVER.
Skell: IT'S TOO LARGE TO CONTROL. SO IT MUST BE DESTROYED.
Me: Farewell, stupidity. *waves*
Skell: *blows up stupidity*
Me: Oh, pretty lights :D
Destery: -If God hates fags, I don't get why he made me so sexy.
-Yes, yes, I'll go to hell and whatnot. You keep ranting while I enjoy my expensive martini and flatscreen television in my custom hot tub.
-Just got hate mail saying I was corrupting children. Stupid woman. I only corrupt small children on Tuesdays.
-My phone activated voice command and I felt like being a smartass. Apparently telling it to make you a sammich results in calling your spouse.
-I just got stabbed in the hand with a spoon. Note: Never threaten to take Nebby's donuts.
-I've been hit with a book seven times today. The knowelege burns within me now. It feels like painful throbbing.
-I still have no idea why everyone is afraid of me when I wake up. All I do is glare and they think I'm a serial killer... Speaking of, when someone says serial killer I think of cereal killer. Nothing funnier than stabbing your Cheerios to death.
Skell *talking about Destery: That boy has the libido of an entire rabbit colony...
Me: I HAD TO GET READY FOR "BED" AND I WAS READING SOMETHING REAL QUICK. I KNOW. D:
Skell: I SHOULD HIT YOU FOR THIS
Me: BRING ON THE BITCHSLAPPING.
Skell: I'LL BITCHSLAP YOU WITH A BAT
Me: ...DO IT. MAYBE IT'LL GET MY ASS IN GEAR.
Skell: *GETS BAT*
Skell: *BIG BAT WITH SPIKES ON IT*
Me: ...OH, COME ON.
Skell: *ON FIRE*
Me: ...now you're just fucking with me.
Skell: *WITH TINIER SPIKES ON THE BIG SPIKES*
Me: ...HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?
Skell: *ALSO ON FIRE*
Me: YOU DAMN TROLL.
Me: -_-" Well, I think I'm getting in gear...
Skell: WRITE FASTER
Skell: *BEATS WITH TROLLBAT*
Me: OW- FUCKER DAMMIT- DO YOU WANT THESE DRABBLES OR NOT?
Skell: I WOULD LIKE THEM YES PLEASE.
Me: THEN DROP THE TROLLBAT.
Skell: *puts it in Trollbat case* It comes back out if I catch you slacking.
Me: Aye aye. *salute*
Yup. Pure friendship right here. Threatening each other with drabbles and Internet bats.
Skell: We also call each other bitch and talk about mansex.
Me: WE GOT THIS.
Skell: Josh, life hates you
Me: It does, yes. XD
"Hmmm. We've caused plenty of shit to go down globally... Fates, what can we do to Joshua Willows?"
Skell: Fate: Hates Josh. Probably because he fucked up his one job.
Shane Crane: Don't tell me to take a break. I am installing a MEGAS operation program and trying to get the Spiral Engine running and THIS DAMN LEG won't function with the rocket boosters AND I STILL CAN'T GET THE COMBINING FUNCTION WORKING, SO DON'T TELL ME TO TAKE A BREAK. I'M NOT BREAKING UNTIL THIS THING CAN KILL OPTIMUS PRIME WITHOUT HIM COMING BACK LIKE ROBOT JESUS.
Me: Probably wind up dragging him out of the room...
Skell: The favor of which he will repay later on.
Me: LET THE BED GAMES BEGIN.
Skell: ...that sounded wrong.
Me: ...I was waiting for you to comment on that aspect...
Skell: I suspect it sounded better in your head.
Me: That it did...
Skell: Funny how that shit works.
Me: Funny indeed, yes.
Me: *explains how a bear got into a teacher's car and destroyed the inside*
Skell: Dammit Smokey, this is not how you prevent wildfires...
Me: ...I have such ADHD when I have nothing to do...
You're going to come back and be like, "I WAS GONE FOR HALF AND HOUR. AND I COME BACK TO THIS STUPIDITY."
Skell: I WAS GONE FOR HALF AN HOUR, AND I COME BACK TO THIS STUPIDITY.
Me: SEE? WHAT DID I SAY.
Skell: That picture is one of the things that boy loves more than AIR. He will push you on a fucking land mine to keep that thing.
Me: I could picture that.
Skell: ...you did not just make that pun- *CLUTCHES HEART*
Me: ...OH GOD, I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE IT- *DROPS DEAD* On the bright side, MY RETARDED PUNS MAKE A COMEBACK.
Skell: You're horrible.
Me: ...wait for it... I'll think of another...
Am I...HORRIBLY HORRIBLE? Not my best, but GOOD ENOUGH.
Skell: ...that's not even a pun.
Me: I know. But GOOD ENOUGH. I chose the "retardation" of my skill over the "pun" aspect. It's paid off in this instance.
Me: On another note, my one friend is now calling me "Fag-a-tron." Don't know what kind of transformer I'm supposed to become...
Skell: Simple. You turn into a trashy van with shag carpeting that plays porn music on the radio.
Me: With a rainbow flag attached to the antenna. Got it.
Skell: You would make an amazing Transformer.
Me: With style like that, yes, I would. :D
Skell: My problem with Tom is that his hair is damn hard to draw sometimes... It always looks wrong...
Me: NO- TOM, FIX YOUR HAIR.
Skell: I'm getting it right a lot more, but at times it still looks like it was combed really tightly...
Me: Practice makes perfect. Unless you're me. :D
Skell: True. You suck.
Me: THAT I DO.
Skell: And I tell you this because I love you. :D
Me: And now I'm dying... XD
Friends are measured by how far they can insult you before you feel offended.
Me: Well, I'm not offended yet, so we're on the right track. :D
Skell: Ooooone is the lonliest number that you'll ever dooooo...
Twooooo can be as bad as one, it's the lonliest number than the number one...
Me: And what the hell did I come back to? XD
Skell: I was ronerey.
Me: Well, okay then.
Skell: Today: "I'm a special kind of stupid. I think a flamethrower is the best way to approach a spider."
Me: ...this is genius.
Skell: I'm a special child.
Skell: Lawyers: Fucking with minds since forever.
Skell: I'm just going to slink away to my little computer corner and stay there for 2 months.
Me: Sounds good.
Skell: "*slink slink* Now watch as my body and this chair morph into one..."
Skell: "Skell, get up." "I CANNOT. *tears away blanket* MY LEGS ARE NOW WHEELS."
Me: We shall return to stupidity when you have access to la computadora.
Skell: BITCH I FAILED SPANISH.
Me: LA. COMPUTADORA.
Me: I remember small words or phrases. And I took two years of it last year... "Spanish was all around my best class." "Really?" "And I remember nothing. LIKE A BOSS."
Skell: Okay. La computadora means taco.
Me: Oh. I thought you were simply saying taco. BUT FUCK IT. When you have acces to a taco, we can continue nonsense.
Skell: ...so it doesn't mean taco?
Me: 'La computadora' means 'the computer.'
Skell: ...I thought it meant taco.
Me: Taco means taco.
Skell: ...so I'm surfing the web on my taco?
Me: I cannot breathe. Again. I am simply laughing too hard about tacos.
Skell: ...okay, so I read FanFiction on a taco.
Me: Fuck it. I don't need to breathe. Air is for the weak.
Skell: Good to know I have a taco obession.
Me: And dead.
Skell: ...yet tomorrow I won't be near a taco at all...
Me: I see what you're doing. Tacos are keeping me on the taco longer... I'M ON TO YOUR GAMES...
Skell: ...you're on a taco? Oh, right, you have a laptaco...
Me: It was a fine purchase indeed. Taco or laptaco? With the lap attachment to my taco, I can now move it wherever I please.
Skell: I should shower, actually...
...but I don't wanna move...
Me: You're attached to the chair again, aren't you?
Me: Thought so.
Skell: MY LEGS HAVE BECOME WHEELS...AND THE MAN ROOM ISN'T ATTACHED TO THE HOUSE.
Me: YOU, MA'AM, ARE FUCKED.
Me: LOLOLOLOLOL- I want to make copies of explicit yaoi pictures...and trail them all around a church. Just...EVERYWHERE. In between Bible pages, tacked to walls... They go to collect money and in the envelope is GAY SEX. And this is why I'm going to Hell...
Skell: ...BITCH YOU BETTER INVITE ME TO THIS
Me: WHO ELSE WOULD I ENLIST TO HELP ME?
Skell: WE'LL DO BOKU NO PICO SCREENSHOTS.
Me: ...OH. MY. GOD.
Skell: I DON'T EVEN LIKE SHOTA PORN BUT LETS DO THIS
Me: Mom: What were you up doing?
Me: OH MY GOD. SHUT UP, HERMIONE.
I can see the look on her face. The "Oh, God, my daughter's retarded" grows stronger with every passing day.
I'm sorry, I'm still reeling over the fact you told your mom that... PFFFFFFFFF-
Skell: I love you even more now. In that platonic squishy way.
Me: Skell, you know from past experience. I cannot guess. All those embarrassing moments when I prove how absolutely retarded I am. YOU KNOW.
Skell: Oh for christs sake: I GOT HIPSTER SHADES
Skell: My face is very hard to shop for.
Me: HIPSTER SHADES
Skell: It's very thin at the temples so almost every pair I tried on was too wide.
Skell: We went around for a while, I even tried on some made for little kids, AND THEN THE DOCTOR WENT TO THE BACK AND PRODUCED RAY BANS. Me: *turns to Dad* To hipster or not to hipster?
Me: You certainly hipstered.
Skell: At the time I had my headphones around my neck and was wearing a Doctor Who shirt and spiked converse. I was certainly a hipster.
Me: AND NOW YOU'LL HAVE THE GLASSES
Skell: And when fall comes I CAN WEAR MY SCARF AND SOME SKINNY JEANS AND DRUNK STARBUCKS WHILE OBVIOUSLY WRITING SOMETHING ON MY MACBOOK COMPUTER LOL
Skell: And over my hipster glass, I CAN WEAR SOME PUNCHED OUT 3D GLASSES. BECAUSE ONE SET OF HIPSTER SHADES IS TOO MAINSTREAM.
Me: ...I freaking can't right now-
Skell: YO, I HEARD YOU LIKE HIPSTERS SO I PUT SOME HIPSTER IN YOUR HIPSTER SO YOU CAN HIPSTER WHILE YOU HIPSTER
Me: I'M TRYING... BUT I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO PROPERLY REPLY TO THAT COMMENT. XD
I SWEAR I WILL START SINGING SOON...
AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII, WIIIIIIIIIIIIIILL ALWAYS LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU
WOMAN I AM BORED OUT OF MY MIND
AND ON THE FIRST DAY, GOD SAID 'FUCK YALL BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKERS, LET THERE BE HOMESTUCK'
Codiak joined the chat.
Me: ...I'm sure that if you were born a puppy, you would chew apart the house every time you were left home alone.
And be right back. I need to walk the dogs...
Skell: I need to shower...but I keep telling myself not to since I have an open can of soda...
And the puppy thing is true
I would piss on everything you love and chew your couch to pieces
Because I hate being bored and I was bored as all get out today
Me: Just as I thought.
Me: It is currently 3:19. If you know what I mean.
Skell: ...TIME FOR PARTY STREAMERS? :D
Me: ...PARTY STREAMERS THAT ARE PROBABLY GOING TO GROW UP WITH SIMILARITIES TO INSOMNIA IN THEIR SLEEPING HABITS...
Skell: I don't see how that's a problem. More Internet time for those lucky streamers.
Me: ...it is 3:24 and I am laughing too fucking hard. Because it's 3:24 and everything is funny at 3:24 in the morning.
Skell: KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY? EVERYTHING.
Me: FUCKING STOP IT. I CAN'T BREATHE. I'M MAKING SQUEAKING NOISES. THAT ISN'T RIGHT.
Skell: ...BATMAN. IN. A. DRESS.
...my lungs hurt again...
Skell: What about that dude in the bikinis dancing to 'Call Me Maybe' over Chat Roulette?
Me: ...I had to bite my pillow and then it just looked like I was having a seizure on my bed. You take too much joy in this.
Skell: I do
Skell: You know what's funny?
Me: Do I WANT to know?
Skell: HIPSTERS IN A CONGA LINE
Me: ...WHAT THE SHIT?
Me: WHAT? WHY WHY WHAT? I CAN'T EVEN...
Skell: LET'S GET SOME GODDAMN HIPSTERS DOIN A MOTHAFUCKIN CONGA
Me: YOU CAN JOIN IN WITH YOUR NEW HIPSTER SELF.
Skell: BITCH I BE LEADIN THAT LINE OFF A CLIFF. YEEEEEEEEAH BOOOOI I BE CONGA-IN BEFO IT WAS COOL
Me: *FACE PALM*
Skell: IMMA GANSTA HIPSTER
LOL WHITE PEOPLE
Me: ...fuck it. Who needs to breathe-
Skell: YOU JUST HATIN CUZ I'M BLACK
Me: I'M NOT EVEN SURE HOW TO RESPOND TO THAT. I'M NOT EVEN SURE.
Skell: BITCHES BE JEALOUS OF MY HIPSTER SWAG
Me: You know what? Shit's even funnier at 3:39 in the morning.
MAAAAHMALAAADE AND CHEEESE
Me: I think I inhaled pillow fibers when I tried to smother my laughter...
Skell: The sad thing is that I'm still completely coherent. My brain is used to my sleep schedule.
MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHMALADE AND CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE
Marmel marmel marmel marmel
Me: Shit I cant'-
Me: WHAT IS THIS MARMALADE?
Skell: I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA.
Me: MARMALADE, WHAT SAY YOU?
Skell: HE SAY 'HAM'
CATSBY AND TWISP, CATSBY AND TWISP
Me: SAYS THE MARMALADE.
Skell: SAY THEE ROYAL MAAAAAHMALAAADE
Skell: But still: YUM YUM CRISPIN FREEMAN
Me: DAT VOICE, YO
Skell: I'd likie to kidnap him just to hear him talk all day.
Me: It'd be like angels just screaming to be released...
Skell: We're demented.
Me: I regret nothing.
Skell: YOU TROLL
Me: THANK YOU.
Skell: EFF YOU. WITHOUT LUBE.
Me: MY GOD, YOU BITCH.
Me: OH, RIGHT. JUST BRING OUT THE SMUGNESS...
Skell: ALREADY DID.
Me: ...I have no comment.
Me: MOVING ON.
Skell: NO MORE. BACK TO TALKING ABOUT SERIOUS SHIT...
Me: YES SERIOUS SHIT.
...the commercial for the news was just like, "And how buying a pack of condoms was deadly for a man."
I'm dead serious.
Me: IT'S LIKE, I HAVE TO WATCH THIS NOW...
Skell: WTF MAN. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
Me: I'M GOING TO FIND OUT.
Skell: THIS BETTER MAKE SENSE IN CONTEXT
Me: LET'S HOPE IT DOES.
Skell: If not then Destery was in serious danger in high school
Skell: YOU WERE THINKING IT TOO.
Skell: FUCK I HATE MY MOUSE SOMETIMES.
Me: I HATE IT TOO.
Skell: *TROLLBATS MOUSE*
Me: WELL, NOW IT WON'T WORK AT ALL.
Skell: STILL WORKING.
Me: WELL, THEN.
Skell: DAMN MOUSE. SHOULD WE BE HAPPY OR GLAD ABOUT THIS?
Me: ...I DON'T KNOW...
Skell: DAMMIT MOUSE
Me: OH GOD, IF IT CAN STAND AGAINST THE TROLLBAT...
Skell: IT'S JUST BEEN FUCKING WITH US THE WHOLE TIME.
Me: ...YOU BASTARD.
Skell: *GLARES AT MOUSE*
Me: YOUR DAY WILL COME, MOUSE. AND IT WILL COME HARD.
...that's what Destery said...
Skell: PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF- he probably actually said that at least once.
Me: Sounds about right.
Skell: I'M NOT STOPPING UNTIL YOU ARE WELL VERSED IN THE WORLD OF JAPANESE ANIMATION.
Me: I THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE.
Skell: If I saw you right now I would be choking you.
Me: ...THANK YOU, INTERNET-
Skell: IF WE EVER MEET IN REAL LIFE I'M HURTING YOU
Me: ...I CAN ONLY IMAGINE. VEGAS IS GOING TO BE A PAINFUL TRIP...
Skell: I AM GOING TO BRING MY DVDS. I WILL TIE YOU TO A CHAIR AND WE WILL WATCH UNTIL YOUR EYES BLEED.
Me: ...GAME ON.
Skell: COME AT ME BRO
Me: *TAPS CHEST* YOUR MOVE.
Skell: ...how the hell does one fight over the Internet...?
Me: ...I don't know, but we managed to do it over a box of fruit rollups...
Me: ...I try not to analyze our conversations. It'll only make my brain cells divide by zero...
Me: I think I have an idea of where that one's going...
Skell: Oh rly?
Me: Yes rly.
Skell: OH RLY?
Me: YES RLY.
WTF why did I say that...?
That just made my night.
ALL HAIL RANDOM SHIT.
Skell: I fucking love penguins.
Skell: ...the Internet is fucking with us. My Tumblr won't load half of the image content on my dash...
Me: Internet explorer won't work, but google chrome will. -_-"
Me: I FUCKING HATE THE INTERNET...
Skell: INTERNET, WHYYYYY?
Me: FUCK THIS SHIT.
Skell: *TABLE FLIP*
Me: NOW I KNOW WHY JOSH TREATS TECHNOLOGY LIKE THE PLAGUE.
Skell: OR MAYBE OUR COMPUTERS JUST HATE US.
Me: ...BUT WE LOVE YOU, COMPUTERS...
THIS IS IS ABOUT THE BED AFFAIR, ISN'T IT?
Skell: I PROMISE I'LL STOP IF YOU JUST WORK.
Me: I'LL NEVER LEAVE YOU AGAIN. D:
.*This is like one of those abusive relationships...*
Skell: ...OOOOH MYYYY GOOOOOD...
Me: NO WONDER WHY EVERYONE SAYS BEING ON THE COMPUTER SO MUCH IS UNHEALTHY...
Skell: IT HURTS SO MUCH BUT WE NEED IT...
Me: IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.
Skell: We should seek help.
Me: Nah, couples therapy is too expensive, and I'm not sure about those homes for women...
Skell: Josh is going to ignore him.
Me: Not surprised.
Me: That's my Joshy.
Skell: Keko and/or Destery, get off Codi's computer.
Skell: I couldn't help it.
Me: Brb, dying...
Me: XD Priceless.
Skell: Damian does ruler-fu. :D
Me: ...and dying...
Me: ...I want to turn the pixie stick into a giant straw...
Skell: Codi, please stop snorting pixie sticks. Drugs make of sugar are bad, m'kay?
Me: ...but they're SO GOOD...
Skell: ...as long as you don't start injecting it in your bloodstream like a junkie.
Me: Psh, can't taste it through the bloodstream
Completely Wrong Chat in which Skellingtonfan1 and I torture my dear OC, Josh Willows. Read at your own risk. Also, everyone but Skell, Kiki, and I are OCs or muses.
Skell: Now, back to our dirty thoughts...Destery, how do you feel about catboys?
Destery: ears and tail? count me in
Josh: ill scratch u...
Skell: YESH. *dirty nekoboy thoughts* I love you so much, man.
Destery: Glad I could please.
Me: tht came out wrong
Destery: but so right
Skell: I might even draw you as a neko before I go to bed tonight.
Destery: Looking forward to the neko.
Josh: IM NOT
Me: no one cares, josh
Skell: DEVIANTART WILL NEVER SEE IT COMING.
Me: HAHA. TAKE THEM BY SURPRISE.
Kiki: i like surprises
Skell: I like potatoes.
Me: i dont, actually. the anticipation kills me...
Josh: we know...that you like...fucking potatoes.
Skell: SHUT IT YAOI BOY TOY
Me: LOVE THE POTATOES.
Josh: I AM NOT A BOY TOY,
Sapphire: 2 them u r
Skell: Yes you are. Destery, remind him why you're the seme.
Me: tht sounds familiar, josh. "I AM NOT A FRUIT LOOP.
Destery: because he cries. ill lick the tears away, joshy
Skell: Ooooh. More please
Josh: Wait a minute... Neko...as in...cat?
Josh: OH, JESUS CHRIIST KAXASCNVE
Skell: In Japan, catpeopel usually have a verbal tick "Nya?" Sounds like a kitty. :3
Destery: I want to feel that cat tongue on me, Josh.
Josh: NO CATS.
Skell: YES DESTERY...JUST, YES.
Destery: Lick the whip cream, Josh. Lap it up like the naughty kitty you are.
Josh: NO MORE SPEAKING OF CATS.
Me: I think he's hyperventalating...
Skell: Hold on, I'm posting this shizzle on my FF page. *copies*
My OCs and I :D But mostly my OCs.
Josh: I'm not even going to argue anymore.
Me: *raises eyebrow and tilts head to side* Are you...trying to gnaw on your collar?
Josh: *looks up* Huh?
Me: Mine's going to help me stay organized and to keep what little sanity I have left.
Kelsie: You have sanity?
Me: Well, I'm not talking to you in public, so I would assume so.
Kelsie: Valid point.
Josh: I weigh nothing.
Me: You're a fat nothing.
Josh: WHAT THE HELL?
Josh: *comes bursting into the house* YOU SON OF A BITCH.
Me: No, Joshy. Neither am I a boy or the child of a female dog.
Josh: *gripping collar* YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
Josh: ...they're having sex up there? (From "Super Bowl 46").
Levi: *to Josh* Next time you want to make a point, have a convincing show. Now go put a Band Aid on and be a deranged little motherfucker somewhere else. I have things to do.
Josh: I don't care how it comes as long as it does. Some people wish to live forever. I consider them idiots.
Destery: I'm like a drug. You can't quit me.
Adrian Marsh: I do care. Just not enough.
Adrian: Where are my fucking Twinkies?
Ree: You just hate me 'cause I'm black.
Tyler: Dude, that joke was dead when the last black guy did it.
Ree: Nah, I think I can pull it off here.
Tyler: You're a short white girl. No way are you pulling it off.
Ree: You're just jealous because you can't pull it off.
Tyler: I'm actually black-
Josh: Are... Are we seriously- Why are we having this conversation?
Alarick: *after Josh punches him* Bastard.
Josh: I don't think there's a name I haven't been called. Therefore, that one doesn't offend me either.
Alarick: *pause* Cunt.
Josh: Now that just confuses me.
Any one of Josh's aquaintances at some point to him: Dwarf.
Ree: *to Josh* Dwarf.
Josh: How can you even say that!? You're shorter than me!
Ree: Yeah, but I have the personality to make up for it.
Josh: ...fuck me. (No, not in that way. XD)
Jess (whom is male): *walks by lunch table*
Ree (whom is gay): Get in my pants!
Jess: Blow me!
Ree: Ew, no. I don't want that.
Brady: I'm just in it for the sex.
Quotes of My Life...
--My mom, reguarding Dexter from the show Dexter: He looked at that knife the same way that we look at a brownie.
--Mom: Spinach helps absorb calcium.
Me: And I'm eating it with cheese! It'll absorb the cheese!
--(I said the same comment to a few people to see what their reactions would be. Here's what I found...)
-Me: It's all your fault.
Rebecca: What did I do?
Me: You know what you did.
Rebecca: What? I murdered a panda last night?
Me: What the fuck?
-Me: It's all your fault.
Katelyn: What'd I do?
Me: You know.
Katelyn: Are you trying to piss me off?
-Me: It's all your fault.
Me: You know.
Me: You know.
Me: You know.
-Me: It's all your fault.
Dannii: I know.
Dannii: It's always my fault.
-Me: It's all your fault.
Thorn: No, there's no evidence. I cleaned it all up- Oh, crap, I think I just gave myself away, huh?
--Mom(As she's saying goodnight and giving me a hug...): *sniffs me*
Me: Would you stop smelling me?
Mom: *stands back with a look of shock on her face* What is this? You turn 14 and we don't hug anymore. We don't sniff anymore.
Me: We never sniffed!
--Me: Guess what.
Rebecca: What? *no response* What? *no response* WHAT? It's your fault?
Me: Sure... Let's go with that...
--Me: I am concerned about my mental stability. How does that comment make you feel?
--Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! *clap, clap* I feel complete.
--Me: If you don't know what you're doing, clap your hands. *clap, clap*
--Me: May I search through your purse in a strange fashion?
--Me (after noticing the color of my friend's nail polish): So... Who'd you kill for the nail polish?
Rebecca: Not the panda.
--Me: Rebecca. *no response* Rebecca. *no response* Rebecca. *no response* Panda Killer! *Rebecca turns around to look at me*
--Me: Suckish times call for suckish measures!
Me (talking to myself): So... Would that mean that good times call for good measures?
Me: If you're having a good time, then why would you need to take measures?
--Rebecca: It's all your fault.
Me: It can't be my fault...'cause it's yours!
--Me: What's up?
Heather: What's down?
--Me: I ventured to the outer extremities of my mind...and lived!
--Me and Gabby: We do some screwed up shit when we're fucked up. We say some screwed up shit when we're fucked up. The one time I was fucked up, I didn't say shit.
--Grace: Stupid, fucking spider... Blaming shit on me...
--Me: Good fairies. They are in a different category from the typo fairies and the faires that steal shit like the match to one of your socks.
--Me: If you want to hit somebody, clap your hands. *clap, clap*
--Kiki: I think I'm going insane!
Me: And you came to me for advice on insanity?
--Me (as we're doing group math problems, I started braiding my friend's hair and was told by my teacher that we moved on): I wanted to finish it.
Teacher Mr. Tirjan (who is bald): You can do mine later.
--Katie G. (sees that I am wearing a grey poncho): You look like a blob.
Me: But I'm a comfy blob.
--Me: *leaning against a car during a firedrill*
Mr. Tirjan: Don't lean on Mr. Haupt's car. Wait, never mind. Lean on it. Draw on it, too.
Me (in the dirt on the car): *Clean Me!*
--Me: Good. I killed it, brought it back to life, ran it over, and burned it. I'm about to spread the ashes over my front lawn.
--Marshal: Choose your next words carefully, Codiak. You're walking on thin water.
--Me (talking about Marshal): What's his middle name?
Emelia: Oh, God...
Marshal: You think I'd know?
Me: He has a point.
--Me: I'm not a pyromaniac. That blazing flame and the fact that I'm holding a packet of matches IS A COMPLETE COINCIDENCE.
--Me: I'm married to my subconscious. We get along quite nicely.
--Me: I'm married to my subconscious. We get along quite nicely except for when we argue.
Friend: How is that getting along nicely?
Me: We work it out.
--Mom: I don't care if you take a shower tonight, but you need to do your face. It's almost two o'clock.
Me: *looks at clock* It's almost one o'clock.
Mom: It's almost one o'clock.
Me: Nice rebound, Mom.
--Gabby: It's blunt, so it would probably hurt more.
Me: *cuddling with the wooden door stop*
Gabby: Let me see that.
Me: I'm concerned.
Gabby: I just want to measure it.
--(talking about instruments)
*Gabby's tapping the door stop in her hand and Emily glances at her*
Emily: French horns are cool...
Me: Emily, you're only saying that because she's holding an eight inch wooden stick.
--Mike (on a video chat): Tell me when your mom's coming. I want to make a good impression.
--Me: I like the way I am. Randomly losing sanity.
--Me (on Facebook): ...when Hell freezes over. Attention all: Hell, Michigan is a place and they receive BELOW freezing weather. That is all. ;)
--Mike (on a chat): cuz the unexpected is expected by the unexpecting people who judge the expecting people to be unexpected
--Mr. Pfohl(totally awesome history teacher, discussing about people taking guns with them on trips): We're going to Disney! Mickey... I hate mice.
--Me (as Mike is coming up behind me while I'm eating dinner): I knew you were there.
Mike: What? Felt a disturbance in the force?
Me: Yeah. It was like, 'Thump. Thump.'
Mike: You calling me fat?
--Kiki: Like, the square dimension of pie!
Me: ...there's a square dimension to a circle?
--Thorn: What am I thinking about?
Thorn: DAMN IT. Now what?
Thorn: DAMN IT. Okay, now what?
Thorn: DAMN. IT. NOW WHAT?
Thorn: DAMN IT.
Me: Are you just screwing with me?
Thorn: No. NOW WHAT?
Thorn: ...DAMN IT!
--Thorn: Would you ever bite my mom?
Me: Depends... Would she proceed to kick my ass?
Me: ...then maybe...
--Me (as my mom is on top of the hotel bed and using a scrawny blanket, complaining it's cold): You know, maybe it would help if you went UNDER THE SHEET.
Mom: I don't believe in that.
Me: PFFF- WHA'?
Mom: I don't believe in going under the sheets. I don't believe in it.
Me: ...PFFF- I CAN'T EVEN COMPREHEND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING-
Mom: I just don't believe in it! What if there's a fire? It's going to take me longer to get out of here.
Me: I... I can't even-
Mom: What NOW?
Me: I JUST- I JUST WANT TO TAKE- *LAUGHTER* -A PICTURE OF SOMEONE LAYING UNDER SHEETS.
Me: *LAUGHTER-* AND PUT IN QUOTATIONS, "I don't believe in going under the sheets. I don't believe in it." AND THEN, "*Mom's name*"
Me: AND THEN I'M POSTING THAT SHIT TO FACEBOOK.
--Me: *laughs* When you go to sleep, I'm going to pull my sheet off...
Mom: *whispers* Sick bitch.
Me: ...and drape it over you.
I find almost everything that Damon Salvatore (Vampire Diaries) says funny.
--"If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it."
--"It's cool not growing old. I like being the eternal stud."
--"I do believe in killing the messenger. Know why? It sends a message."
--"I was ambushed. I was shot. Now, I'm vengeful."
--"I don't side with anyone. You piss me off. I want you dead."
--"That's for me to know and for you to dot, dot, dot."
--"Not bad. Have you been eating bunnies?"
"Tell your friend a lie. If he keeps it secret, then tell him the truth." Ancient Proverb.
--Actually, guns do kill people.
--Some people are only alive because it's illegal to shoot them. (I have this as a wooden sign on my wall.)
--You laugh at me because I'm crazy, I laugh at you because there's an invisible leprechaun on your shoulder!
--Sanity? Why would I want something as useless as that?
--I'm not suffering from insanity... I'm enjoying every minute of it!
--We are not retreating...we are advancing in another direction.
--They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled "BANG!", I don't think you'd kill too many people.
--Whoever said "anything is possible" never tried to slam a revolving door.
--Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
--I'm not so good with advice. May I offer a sarcastic comment?
--Everyday I think people can't get any dumber. Every day I'm proven horribly wrong.
--I didn't escape from the mental ward! Those sirens are a complete coincidence!
--Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
--Never knock on Death's door. Ring the door bell and run like heck. He hates it.
--Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
--Some people are like slinkies: good for nothing, but they make you smile when you push them down a flight of stairs.
--It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.
--It's not PMS...it's you.
--Normal people worry me.
--And to think you are the result of millions of years of evolution.
--There's nothing that can't be fixed with duct tape, chocolate, or by running it over.
--Don't upset me, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
--I stopped fighting my inner demons quite some time ago. We're on the same side now.
--I do not have an attitude problem! I have an attitude, but I just can't find a problem with it.
--I'm not mean, I just say what most people keep in their heads.
--I don't need your attitude, I have my own.
--I'm not mean, you're just a sissy.
--You're a great friend. But if zombies are chasing us, I'm tripping you.
--Be the type of woman, that when your feet land on the floor when you get out of bed in the morning, the devil thinks: "Oh, crap! She's up!"
--Note to self: It is illegal to stab people for being stupid.
--I did not hit you, I simply high-fived your face.
--Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring, so I go back to being me.
--That which does not kill me had better run pretty fast!
--Someday we'll look back on all this and crash the car.
--There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
--My Reality Check bounced.
--On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
--I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
--Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
--Eagles may soar, but wolves don't get sucked up into jet engines.
--I am being driven insane. And I must say the scenery is nice.
--Would you like a cookie? So would I.
--"Pardon me while I find a container for my joy." Debbie of the Wild Thornberrys
--"Of course, you realize this means war." Bugs Bunny
--"You can't make people love you, but you can stalk them until they give in." Scoop by Rene Gutteridge
--A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
--The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
--Slinky Escalator = Endless fun
--Don't make me mad... I'm known to bite at random.
--I ran with scissors, and lived!
--If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.
--A day without sunshine is like... Night.
--Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls.
--"Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat." Unknown
--Do not argue with an idiot, he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
--The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they'll be when you kill them.
--Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.
--One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
--It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
--Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.
--Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them." I say "If you can't beat them, beat them," because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise!
--"If at first you don't succeed...go back and reload the gun." Unknown
--"If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
--Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
--It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is. Why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?
--There is no "I" in team but there is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...
--Most learn by observation. Some learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually touch the fire to see if it is hot.
--Best friends are aware of how stupid you are, but still choose to be seen in public with you.
--Heaven doesn't want me there and Hell knows I'll take over.
--STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the body's desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.
--Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
--He who talks by the yard and thinks by the inch deserves to be kicked by the foot.
--Work now, make others work later.
--I read somewhere that speaking in front of a crowd is the number one fear for an average person. Number two is death. That means if you have to be at a funeral, you'd rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.
--Men think one of three things at any given time: I want a sandwich, I want a woman, or I want a woman who can make me a sandwich.
--Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
--There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It’s just weird when you lose. (Which I have done. It was awkward.)
--"What no wife of a writer can ever understand is that a writer is working when he's staring out of the window." Burton Rascoe
--"The best time for planning a book is while you're doing the dishes." Agatha Christie
--I'm not fluent in stupid so speak slowly to me. (Another wooden sign on my wall.)
--What are those football players doing on the band's field? (And another wooden sign on my wall.)
--"The road to Hell is paved with adverbs." Stephen King
--"It is impossible to discourage the real writers- they don't give a damn what you say, they're going to write." Sinclair Lewis
--"Loafing is the most productive part of a writer's life." James Norman Hall
--"Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia." E.L. Doctorow
--"Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?" Ernest Gaines
--"There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex; they should draw the line at goats." Elton John
--"Why can't they have gay people in the army? Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand guys with M16's going, "Who'd you call a faggot?"" John Stewart
--"People fear death even more than pain. It’s strange that they fear death. Life hurts a lot more than death. At the point of death, the pain is over." Jim Morrison
60 things to do in an elevator:
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5.Do not go out in public.
6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers you know.
12.Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13.For legal purposes be sure to delete above note.
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15.Kill them for security purposes.
16.Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings.
17.Make a scene whenever humanly possible.
18.The men in white coats are not your friends.
19.Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects.
20.When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.
21.Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning.
22.Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.
23.Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.
24.Always remember, um... um... Damn.
25.Train army of flying monkeys.
26.Goldfish don't like milk.
27.Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.
28.Find out who invented the word "pianist".
29.People are staring at you.
30.So act insane.
31.People are weird, but not as weird as me.
32.Do not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... And teeth.
33.Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people.
34.Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experiance. Do this as much as possible.
35.You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... Bonding.
36.Never pet a burning dog.
37.Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you are wearing a parka.
38.Naked men dig parkas.
39.Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.
40.You know what would look good on you?
42.Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug.
43.The size of Danny DeVito.
44.Making an amusing facial expression. Like this.
45.Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.
46.Stalking is fun. Do it more.
47.Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree!"
48.No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world.
49.That way is rum.
50.Constipated people don't give a sh-t.
52.You cannot kill the snow.
53.The snow can kill you.
54.Grass can also kill you.
55.The leprechaun on the cereal box said I can't get his lucky charms...
56.Catch and castrate leprechaun.
57.HE is real... No matter what the men in white coats say.
58.Staple paper in the middle of the page.
59.In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.
60.You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that.
61.Pretend to be so around teh n00bs.
62.Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul sucking demon.
63.Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?
64.Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork.
65.Remember to kill HIM...
66.Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.
67.Note reactions. Avoid parents.
68.The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.
69.Scream, the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice.
70.Hide the bodies, otherwise peole ask embarressing questions.
71.Eat the evidence.
72.But not if it's broken glass.
73.When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run.
74.Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats kids.
75.Disregard last note.
77.On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year.
78.Stock up on ball point pens.
79.Learn to fly. Tell no one.
80.The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.
81.Do not stick fingers into blender.
82.Blender... Bad... Ouch.
83.Blood loss is bad.
84.Find way to re-attatch fingers.
85.Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.
86.Answer every question with a question.
87.Ask people what gender they are.
89.Refer to people as "mortal".
90.The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.
91.Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.
92.Start by drowning them in fire ants.
93.Find the creators of pop-up messages.
96.Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination.
97.Dunk head in boiling water.
98.Disregard last note. Was written by Voice #7.
99.Gullible IS written on the ceiling!
100.Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down...
--"Video Memories" This has been edited for a second time. Status: COMPLETE.
--"Prank Wars" This has been edited: Status: COMPLETE.
--"Missing Her" Dedication to my goldfish. This has been edited. Status: COMPLETE.
--"The Fight" Final Counts: Reviews: 31. Favorites: 92. Views: 2,518. Follows: 2. Status: DELETED.
--"Be Mine" Valentine's Day themed. This has been highly edited. Status: COMPLETE.
--"KEK Chats" Final Counts: Reviews: 20. Favorites: 21. Views: 1,926. Follows: 8. Status: DELETED
--"Cliff Side" This has been edited. Status: COMPLETE.
--"That New Car Smell" This has been edited. Status: COMPLETE.
--"Broom Closets are So Wrong" This has been edited. Status: COMPLETE.
--"Walking the Line" This has been edited. Status: COMPLETE.
--"Deserves a Flame!" Crack fic. This has been edited. Status: COMPLETE.
--"Aurora's 25 Topic Challenge" A challenge from Aurora Borealis 97. This has been edited. Status: COMPLETE.
--"The Dentist" This has been edited. Status: COMPLETE.
--"Beliefs" Easter themed. This has been edited. Status: COMPLETE.
--"The Affect It Holds" A venting and a dedication. This has been edited. Status: COMPLETE.
--"Because Titles Are For Losers (BTAFL)" Chat story. Currently being edited bit-by-bit. Status: FOREVER ONGOING.
--"A Toasting Challenge" A challenge made from a chapter in BTAFL. This has been edited. Challenge Status: Always Open. Status: COMPLETE.
--"Cracking the Facade (CtF)" Status: IN PROGRESS.
--"Memories Come to Haunt (MCtH)" The sequel to Video Memories. This has been edited as far. Status: HIATUS.
--"Super Bowl 46" Super Bowl themed. Features characters from BTAFL. This has been edited. Status: COMPLETE.
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