MadTwilighter
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
beta: β Beta Profile
Joined 07-07-10, id: 2437677, Profile Updated: 01-17-11
Author has written 4 stories for Twilight.

Hi! I’ll tell you a bit about myself.

Name: Alice Cullen (Actually it’s not. :( It’s Olivia)

Likes: Twilight Twilight Twilight. Twilight the most epic thing in the universe. It is cooler than YOU!

Dislikes: Most Food, MILEY CYRUS, Anti-Twilighters, Justine Beaver, and Jacob Black.

My power if I was a vampire: If i was a vampire i would have a power similar to Janes and Zafrinas. I would be able to make illusions of sound. These could hurt people coz i could make them hear their worst nightmare.

Yes I’m one of THOSE twilight people…

I love my friends and I love Twilight. Some people call me crazy, some people call me a nerd. I don't care what they think because ultimately, I know I can only be myself and I can't change that. Stand up for who you are and what you believe in and EMBRACE IT!

Emmett's the Strongest,
Rosalie's the Prettiest,
Edward's the Smoothest,
Bella's the Clumsiest,
Alice's the Quirkiest,
But only Jasper can sit in a corner and STILL make
everyone feel jealous.

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Prettier Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

Bella Swan: Clumsier Than You since 1987

╔══╦══╦══╗ I have been diagnosed
║╔╗║╔═╣╔╗║ with Obsessive Cullen
║╚╝║╚═╣╚╝║ Disorder. Put this on your
╚══╩══╩══╝ profile if you've caught it too.

My life as a movie:

Opening credits: Turn Me On- Norah Jones

Waking up: Life Of Earth- Band Of Horses

First day of school: Amazing- Cassie Davis. (School? Amazing?)

Falling in love: Back To Start- Lily Allen

Fighting: After The Storm- Mumford and Sons

Breaking up: Heavy In Your Arms- Florence and The Machine (Kinda makes sense..)

Driving: Nightingale

Flashback: Chinese- Lily Allen

Mental Breakdown: Full Moon (The Black Ghosts_

Getting back together: Wish I could- Norah Jones (Kinda perfect)

Wedding: Pirouette- Lisa Mitchell

Birth of a child:White Blank Page- Mumford and sons (Makes sense)

Final battle: Reset- Cassie Davis

Death scene: Space They Cannot Touch- Kate Miller-Heidke (Also kinda good)

Funeral: Bored With Me- Kate Miller Heidke (This is just sad)

End credits: Painting Flowers- All Time Low

"When life hands you lemons, throw them back and demand Jasper Hale."
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away... but since Carlisle is cute, screw the fruit."
"I'm not easily distracted I-Hey, is that guy sparkling!"
"Psh, screw the Dark Side. So what if they have cookies? Come to the Light Side, we have Jasper Hale!"

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Girls Say the Darnest Things by Tina Redwood reviews
Take a peek into your Hogwarts girls' gossips in late night, mostly about boys we all know and love. Sexually explicit. THIS IS A COMEDY FIC.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 27,012 - Reviews: 542 - Favs: 204 - Follows: 137 - Updated: 10/18/2014 - Published: 3/30/2008 - Complete
Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover by WritingInTheDarkness reviews
Don't you just hate when Hermione walks in on Draco doing some random girl. Well, in this story it's the other way around. Malfoy, of course still doesn't like Hermione, but will seeing her getting it by someone change his opinion of her forever?RWHG HGDM
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 10,949 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 290 - Updated: 8/17/2014 - Published: 10/1/2008 - Draco M., Hermione G.
Tripping The Prom Queen by starryeyed68 reviews
Queen Bee Rosalie Hale decides one day to dump her best friend, Bella Swan. With the help of new student, Alice Brandon, Bella decides to seek revenge... A fun little tale of friendship, frenemies, getting even, and finding true love!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 51,423 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 85 - Updated: 1/20/2013 - Published: 7/24/2010 - Bella, Rosalie
Date a Cullen by darlin.i.love.you reviews
Alice, Rosalie, and Bella get themselves into some drama filled excitement when they decide to join a compeition to try to win the hearts of three bachelors, Jasper, Emmett, and Edward.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 50 - Words: 63,811 - Reviews: 1254 - Favs: 197 - Follows: 172 - Updated: 6/14/2012 - Published: 7/27/2010
The Vampire Diaries by Shakespeare's Lady reviews
When you are the most unique person in the world, what is your life like? This is a look into Renesmee's life as a teenager. She tries to be a normal teen, but her uniqueness keeps getting in the way. Renesmee's POV. ******ON HIATUS*****
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 57 - Words: 62,141 - Reviews: 194 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 4/29/2012 - Published: 12/1/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Edward, Bella
Alice's Sleepover by GummyBear1901 reviews
Alice invited Bella over for a Sleepover. Bella makes a run for it. What happens?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 15 - Words: 11,246 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 12/4/2011 - Published: 4/24/2010 - Bella, Emmett
Leaving the Twilight Universe by Goddess of the Multiverses reviews
The Cullens and Jacob are magically transported to the normal human universe where there are no vampires.They have to go to school as normal humans and put up with all the drama.Can they handle what the girls have to say about the Twilight Saga?OOCness
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 34,277 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 8/6/2011 - Published: 8/25/2010 - Complete
Perverted Potions by Great Teacher reviews
SexEd fanfic. Snape is forced to teach. Response to a challenge that was made a looooong time ago on NOTE: There will be lemons later. You have been warned. AUAR,ChallengeFic,Language, WIP
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 25,888 - Reviews: 248 - Favs: 250 - Follows: 351 - Updated: 7/7/2011 - Published: 7/16/2007 - Severus S., Hermione G.
The survey by Edward-Hot reviews
Bella is filling a survey, and all the Cullens fill it too! Maybe some extra characters later...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,356 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 10/29/2010 - Published: 11/1/2009 - Edward, Bella
That's What She Said! by Kaiaa reviews
A simple joke led to a school year of love, laughter, and... inappropriate behavior. Ah well. That's what you get when you put six 8th graders together at Forks Middle School! ALL HUMAN. B/E, R/Em, A/J.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 13 - Words: 16,476 - Reviews: 208 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 9/11/2010 - Published: 11/21/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Apologies by Ein Kampf kann eine Lebenszeit reviews
Nessie borrows a pair of Alice's shoes without asking, and Alice doesn't quite agree with her on that. Oneshot, fluff, really. Please R&R.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,342 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/24/2010 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Alice - Complete
Brand new school, brand new idiot by Azzi.Turner reviews
The vampires and wolves have moved to a new town, and are attending a new school. Jacob and Rosalie end up having all the same classes and a practical joke war begins!:
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 2,535 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 3/20/2010 - Published: 10/24/2009 - Rosalie, Jacob
Forever Teens by Marrabelle reviews
Poor Esme...If only she could drink her stress away. Alas, she has vampire teens who can't help but get themselves into trouble! A collection of ONE SHOTS mainly about Alice & Rosalie's shenanigans. Other Cullens maybe involved. Younger vampire ages!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,591 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 3/18/2010 - Published: 10/7/2009 - Alice, Rosalie
Oh No You Didn't! by taylorcullenforever reviews
alice and bella are in a class together... they pass notes and here are their notes... the cullens might come in too... Written by me and my friend! HILARIOUS! READ and R & R! Warning Some Sexual Theme 14 and up
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 9 - Words: 7,656 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 1/17/2010 - Published: 6/2/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
TWILIGHT OATH by Ally-Kat98 reviews
IT IS THE TWILIGHT OATH! DUH!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 192 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 14 - Published: 9/21/2009 - Complete
Why Draco Should Not Be Using Tampons by Padfoot the Marauder reviews
Draco and Hermione, like all newly appointed Head Boys and –Girls before them, are assigned to switch bodies for the first week of term to ensure a prosperous collaboration between them in the future. HGDM
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 34,268 - Reviews: 1277 - Favs: 2,821 - Follows: 476 - Updated: 9/20/2009 - Published: 6/27/2004 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Emmett and Jasper Babysit Jane by Eyes for Eternity reviews
The title says it all. OOC. A story of hamsters, apples, and medical equipment. And a puppy named Oreo. R/R! You know you want to...Peace! T for very mild swearing
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,225 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/15/2009 - Emmett, Jane - Complete
Black Friday Alice Cullen Style! by marykat reviews
Alice challenges the whole family to see who can get the best deal shopping on Black Friday. Everyone uses their "gifts" and hilarity ensues! I have three words for you: Emmett, lingerie and dressing room! Post Breaking Dawn, traditional pairings.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 30,041 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 3/28/2009 - Published: 1/11/2009 - Alice, Renesmee C./Nessie
SexyWitches Inc by Tina Redwood reviews
My most popular fic to date. Smut, fluff, all that good stuff. Blaise hires Ginny as his assistant, and he's the vice president of SexyWitches Inc., a wizarding porn company. Don't let the title dissuade you from reading; this has a plot.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 49,292 - Reviews: 1162 - Favs: 561 - Follows: 303 - Updated: 2/18/2009 - Published: 2/16/2008 - Ginny W., Blaise Z. - Complete
The Slumber Party by Appy4la reviews
Alice and Rosalie invite Bella over to a sleepover. What will happen? Normal slumber party? I think not...
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 21,735 - Reviews: 386 - Favs: 227 - Follows: 182 - Updated: 8/10/2008 - Published: 6/10/2006
Seducing Mr Malfoy by Tina Redwood reviews
Hermione makes a bet that she can get laid by Draco Malfoy within a month. Ridiculously funny things happen. SMUTTY. HILARIOUS. Hermione/Draco, COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 25,774 - Reviews: 714 - Favs: 979 - Follows: 322 - Updated: 2/22/2008 - Published: 1/24/2008 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Vampires in Vegas by vjgm reviews
Alice and Rosalie decide to take Bella to Vegas for a bachelorette party against her will. The boys feeling leftout, decide to get themselves into a little trouble too. 1st fanfict...rated T
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 40,254 - Reviews: 1480 - Favs: 2,005 - Follows: 425 - Updated: 9/28/2007 - Published: 9/21/2007 - Complete
The Original Naked Quidditch Match by Evilgoddss reviews
When a Magical game of Truth & Dare goes wrong, the Gryffindor Quidditch team must 'bare' up and face the consequences. And as the news spreads like wildfire in mmail things get quite out of control.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 22,510 - Reviews: 832 - Favs: 3,630 - Follows: 667 - Published: 7/29/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

And That's Exactly What Happened reviews
A bunch of crazy explanations for crazy things the Cullen Family does!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,743 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 1/22/2011 - Published: 11/6/2010
Hey Alice! You're out of milk! reviews
Alice Cullen has gained a new "friend." Actually, Ruby Cullen is more than a friend. She knows everything about Alice, and they have never even met…
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 346 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 1/22/2011 - Alice
When Vampires Get Bored reviews
What happens when vampires get bored? Well, when Alice Cullen is involved, things start getting interesting pretty quickly...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 7,375 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 11/6/2010 - Published: 8/2/2010 - Alice
Sisterly Love reviews
Rosalie's easy to annoy. It's easy when you have an extreme talent for being annoying and can see the future. It's especially easily when your name is Alice Cullen.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 6,142 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 10/23/2010 - Published: 8/1/2010 - Alice, Rosalie