Author has written 1 story for Harry Potter, and Twilight.
Hi... nah let's go with yo... Yo what up guys? I know you don't really check my profile a lot so i'm not gonna talk for a lot... In fact i have nothing else to say so... Peace! And to RandomNews3, GO BLUE TEAM!!!!!!!!!! PINK SUCKS!!!
~~This or That~~
RANDOM TESTTTT!! (from YourBooksAreMyDrug)
Whats the last book you read? I honestly can't remember...
What's on your TV right now? I don't want to know.
Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say? It's so pretty!!!
Where are you? None. Of. Your. Business.
What was the last thing you ate? Brownie.
What's your personality like? This.
What was the last thing you thought? How to answer this question.
You now have a million dollars. What do you do? Type this.
Reach out and grab the closest thing to you. What is it? I already grabbed it! The mouse.
What are you eating/drinking right now? Nothing.
What are you writing RIGHT NOW? This answer.
Grab the nearest book to you, turn to page 19 and find the second paragraph. What is it? '1= 1/4 day. These activities take approximately 1/4 of a day to enjoy'... I'm helping plan for a trip to Orlando soon...
What's it like being you? You don't even want to know.
What are your thoughts on writing? The actual work? Hate. Seeing the progress? Love.
How tall are you? 5'3 or 4.
What book are you currently reading? Uhm... does my Algebra 2 book count?
What music are you listening to? Just the Girl by the Click five.
What was the last website you visited before fan fiction? Google.
What was the last thing you cooked? Nothing.
What color are the walls of the room you are in? Red and White.
Do you know who the governor of your state is? No. Why would I care?
Ketchup or Mustard? KKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTCCCCCHHHHHHHUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!
How many different programs are on your computer right now? Two. Fanfiction and google.
What is the weather like? I can't tell if it's cloudy because it's nighttime.
Anything else? Uh...
Who is the most special person to you? I'm not gunna pick favorites.
What's your favourite childhood memory? Sean or Shawn... and I went to the zoo together... I miss him...
Scariest moment of your life? When I thought Whiskers (my cat) was dead in our vent. (He pulled up the thing and went in it.)
One word that would best describe you? Sparkletastic.
What is your favourite month in the summer? July I guess... You're not in school and not gonna be for awhile.
What's your favorite number? 3, 7, and 8.
What does your name mean? Uh... Well... Yeah uh... You know... Somethin'... That's none of your business! (Nice save.) (Oh, thank you.)
What does your user name mean: It's a long story.
What is your favorite Disney movie? Uh... Oh!- wait that's not Disney... uh... Camp Rock.
What made you smile today? The irony of the reports on the news.
Last thing you said out loud? It's so pretty!!!
Last rainbow you saw? We do not discuss that day anymore.
Do you want a hair cut? No. I'm trying to grow my hair out.
Are you musically inclined? I think it would be bad if I weren't considering I'm in a band...
Have you ever been in a fight? Yes. Verbally.
Try not to cry.
I am only eight inches long
But I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heartbeat
Is my favourite lullaby.
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
You could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It's so warm and nice in here.
You know what Mommy?
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
And I cry with you even though
You can't hear me.
My hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
But I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can curl my head and curl my fingers and toes
And stretch my arms and legs
I am becoming quite good at it too.
You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?
I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy, what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP ME!
I am OK.
I am in Jesus' arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Mommy, why didn't you want me?
Every abortion is just...
One more heart that was stopped
Two more eyes that will never see
Two more hands that will never touch
Two more legs that will never run
One more mouth that will never speak.
One more mind that will never think.
One more heart that will never feel love
Abortion is wrong. People are here on earth for a reason, and some crazy mothers don't want their babies.
If you are against abortion copy and paste!! Add something to the last paragraph
You know you've read too much Harry Potter fanfiction when...
1. You start confusing it with the books. (that has actually happened...)
2. You genuinely think that infamous fanfiction characters like the Professor, Henchgirl, and Danger Granger were actually in the books.
3. You believe that Harry and Hermione were canon. (They so were!!)
4. You know Charlie Weasley was a main character.
5. And so was Mark Evans. (Who?)
6. You start using phrases like "Merlin's pants" and "Bloody Hell" on a reglar basis. (awkward pause...)
7. You see a rat and scream "It's Wormtail!"
8. You see a big black dog and scream "It's a Grim!"
9. You believe that Dumbledore can't be gay because he and McGonagall were meant to be. (i actually did think that when I was younger...)
10. You know Cedric is still alive because he's too hot to die. (no comment...)
Her name was Auroura
Her dad was a drunk
Her only friend
She always talked to it
Until her parents
A bruise on her leg
But she grabs her bear
She sits in the corner
Such a bad life
Then one night
Then her mom suddenly
She thrusted the blade
The mom walked out
Police showed up
One officer slowly
It must have been bad
If you hate child abuse then repost this on your profile. If you don't then you have no soul!!
REMEMBER WHEN ..
~~10 Ways To Be S-T-U-P-I-D:
Ways to Annoy people at the movie theater:
~Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.
~Clap when the good guy gets killed.
~During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"
~Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"
~Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
~Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
~Yell out what is going to happen.
~Wear a cape and when it’s your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.
~Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.
~Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.
~Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.
~Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.
~Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.
~Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.
~Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...)
~Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.
~Try to start a wave.
~Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.
~Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"
~Sing with the theme music.
~Bring and use your own air freshener.
~At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."
~Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.
~Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.
~Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.
~Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.
~Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.
~Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.
~When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"
~Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.
~start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.
~Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.
~Every time there is a gunshot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.
~Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.
~Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themselves.
~Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.
~Before the movie begins, tape fart cushions to various chairs in the theater room.
~Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.
~Bring a water gun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"
~Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"
~Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"
~Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can hear it, like when the killer's name is going to be said.
~Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.
~Bring a pager or cell phone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.
~Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.
~Pass by a room that's showing a movie you've already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the end
25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
77 Weird and Random Things to Do in an Elevator
1) Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
74. Make chalk drawings on the walls.
77. Wrinkle your nose and smell the air repeatedly. Sniff at your neighbor suspiciously, give a disgusted frown, and take a step away.
Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, SamanthaFantasyFan, EdwardAddict, Supergirrl, Elemental-ANimal, Mother Nature's Daughter, Hikuya, Briar Elwood, Megan Cooper, xxTunstall Chickxx, PoisionedRoses, Gabby510, Guzzin' Gurl, ChetCherrio, Muggleborn444, faithfulfantasyluver,YourBooksAreMyDrug, REALM13
Your guy side
Your girl side:
You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
Harry Potter* Reasons why Hermione and Harry belong together instead of Ron:
10.) Because Hermione called Harry, "fanciable", which points to a certain possibility that she fancies him. (And she's never even called Ron at least good-looking.)
9.) Because Hermione has more in common with Harry's mom than Ginny. (This is pointed to the H/G theory that Harry went after Ginny because she was like his mother. This is a rebut to that theory. In reality, the only thing Ginny has in common with Lily Evans is the red hair. Ginny was never the top of her class, and she isn't Muggleborn. And, seeing as Hermione has BOTH of those attributes, she is actually closer to Harry's mum than Ginny will ever be.)
8.) Because bickering and fighting can't be taken as "sexual tension" in the real world.
7.) Because Harry looks a lot better than Ron. CLEARLY. (Both on the books and the movies. Goodness...)
6.) Because Hermione's rarely ignored Harry. (How many times have we seen "...said Hermione, ignoring Ron," in the books?! And I've never seen "...said Hermione, ignoring Harry".)
5.) Because in harrypotter.wikia.com, there are more H/Hr pictures on both the pages of Harry and Hermione.
4.) Because of the fact that they fight doesn't make them, "opposites"; therefore, the "opposites attract" theory can go flush itself down the toilet for immense idiocy. (They have more in common than you think. After all, they both belong to the same house. I'm certain Ron couldn't fit into Slytherin. And they both care a great deal about Harry. Hermione, more, of course.)
3.) Because Hermione and Harry have more moments in the books and movies than with she and Ron. (Haven't you noticed how she only touches Ron when Harry's in trouble or in the middle of depressing scenes?)
2.) Because Hermione clearly prefers hugging Harry. (Has she ever hugged Ron? No. In fact, she KISSED HARRY BEFORE RON.)
1.) Because HERMIONE POTTER sounds so much better than Hermione Weasley.
Preferred name: Allie.
Favorite color: BLUE.
If you could have anything right now… Perfect life. Literally. Starts out perfect AND STAYS THAT WAY… But still have the same friends.
Favorite article of clothing: A light blue coat that my grandma gave me before she died a couple years ago.
Have you ever been cut…? Who hasn’t?
If you could change anything about your appearance… EVERYTHING!
Favorite alcoholic beverage: No thank you!
Favorite number: 3, 7, or 8.
Half empty or half full? It’s both. DUH.
What kind of toothpaste do you use? Crest.
Do you eat the apple peal? Yup.
Turkey or chicken? I'm a vegetarian.
Morning person or evening person Evening.
Favorite thing about your appearance Nothing.
Gummy worms? What about ‘em?
If you could be doing anything right now… I’d get a life.
Ever been in love? Nope!
Siblings Technically? No.
On my background… What does this mean?
Pickles: Yes I’ll have another thank you.
Guys in pink shirts… Are either cool or gay.
What pajamas do you wear? T-shirt and pants or shorts if it’s summer.
They're coming for you… Not again!
Saxophone or trumpet Drums.
Chocolate or vanilla I like both.
Ever worn your hair up? (Hair on the ground! Hair on the ground! Looking like a fool with your hair on the ground!) That’s not me but I decided to keep it up because it’s funny.
Least favorite smell Methanol.
Favorite smell Fresh cut grass.
When it rains… I’m convinced from movies it’ll be a horrible day.
One word to describe yourself Insane. Either that or 'uh'.
One nice thing about the person who sent this She IS awesome. And crazy. And hilarious.
Where are you? STALKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Boxers or briefs I’m female thank you.
What do you think of this questionnaire? Random.
Blondes or brunettes I prefer brunettes.
Favorite food Pie and cheese and STRAWBERRIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Married? I’m a young teenager!
Name of future child Oh there’s so many…
Et tu, Brute? I no speak your language.
What does your Pen Name mean? Long story.
Where did the Sorting Hat put you? Hufflepuff.
Color... Always blue… But don’t forget the inside joke! APY. (Always Pick Yellow.)
Hair? Curly- unbelievably curly- golden hair.
Eyes? Brown but I have well… it’s a long story but my eyes are only pupils to the human eye. That means my iris is very thin and unseeable. I just made a new word!
If you had one super-power, what would it be? The power to gain any power(s) I want. Yes I’m pretty sure I made it up.
Do you have a special talent? Nothing great about me... I'm somewhat good at the drums...
Do you like cheese? CCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
Who you are Someone.
A. Age- Between 13 and the age of Nicolas Flamel before he had to die.
B. Bed Size- Queen.
C. Chores you hate- All.
D. Dog's name- Dogs?! Where?! Dogs are my #1 fear!
E. Essential Start Your Day Item- iPod.
F. Fav Color- Blue.
G. Gold or Silver- Does it matter? Both?
H. Height- Last I checked I was five foot three.
I. Instruments You Play- My voice. Drums.
J. Job Title- Human Being.
K. Kindness- Counts. Remember from school?
L. Loopy Level 1-10- You don't even want to know.
M. Mom's Name- Honest Abe. (Nickname)
N. Nicknames- Re.
O. Overnight Hospital- What does this mean?
P. Pets- Cat named Whiskers- NOT MR. WHISKERS!
Q. Quote From Movie- “No. I don’t. I’m Jesus.” -27 Dresses
R. Right Or Left Handed- Right.
S. Siblings- Only child.
T. Time You Wake Up- It’s different every day.
U. Underwear- (I wear it, you creep. Back off.) …What she said.
V. Vegetables You Dislike- All except corn but I eat any vegetable anyways.
W. Ways You Run Late- I sleep in.
X. X-rays You've Had- All kinds.
Y. Yummy Food You Make- I’ve made nothing good.
Z. Zoo Favorites- I hate the zoo but not the animals I just get bored.
I used to ... but then I discovered...
I used to be normal (shudders), but then I discovered that mental stability is overrated.
I used to ... but then I discovered...
Pass this on and add something to it each time.
I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, secilmis yazar, Holly Marie Fowl, Missy Werecat, Liza Taylor, toadflame, Leaf-Drifting-On-Wind, She-Who-Has-A-Very-Long-Name, REALM13
Spread the love with the wonderful PIE! If you love pie and want to share it with others (As long as you still have a piece), copy and paste!
Today, I thought about the phrase "revenge is sweet" and then thought about the phrase, "revenge is a dish best served cold." I have now come to the conclusion that revenge is ice cream
I've gone to find myself. If I get back before I return, tell me to wait here.
My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious mental problems.
I have ranted to an empty room, and then ended with a "Thanks for listening," because if no one heard, it's okay, but if somebody did, then I have officially freaked out some secret agent corporation.
I'm bored. Run for your sanity.
We are not retreating . . . we are advancing in another direction.
They say love hides behind every corner. I must be walking in circles.
I've always wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my enemy to go swimming.
"So what do you say, me, you and some— OW!" I couldn't stifle my laugh, needles were fun.
I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
You're a great friend, but if zombies chase us . . . I'm tripping you.
In an insane world the sane appear insane.
I'm not lost, I'm exploring.
Don't just stand there--kill something!
So many stupid people, so little duct tape.
I'm too tired to punch you. Would you please run your face into my fist repeatedly?
I have multiple personalities, and none of them like you.
One of these days the power of our insanity will prove to be too much for her and she'll HAVE to believe.
I may be a cute penguin, but as soon as I get you alone, I will eat you.
Tell me, what's it like living in a constant haze of stupidity.
There are two things you can't avoid in life. Death, and chickens.
Thank you, I have been a maniac since I was born.
Can i borrow your pen? I need to stab you in the eye.
Your year book picture still haunts me.
All was well until Voldemort and Vader started discussing which was better, magic or The Force.
You don't like me, well it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.
I got in a fight with my glass of water... my water won.
It's ok my friend; admitting you're normal is the first step.
If your heart was really broken, you'd be dead. So SHUT UP!
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM.
I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have!
Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they've seen me laugh, and they've seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.
Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them.
Cats are smarter then dog. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through the snow.
My heart? Yeah. Not a playground.
If life gives you lemons, throw them back at the jerk who gave 'em to ya and demand chocolate.
I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.
Never say 'Things couldn't get any worse.' God takes that as a personal challenge.
WARNING- lost kids will be sold to the circus.
The real proof there's intelligent life out there is because they've never tried to contact us.
Hi, my job is to annoy you.
I don't understand white crayons! Why are they here? What do they want from us?
"Let's eat Grandma!" or "Let's eat, Grandma!" Punctuation saves lives.
I'm not crazy. My reality is just different then yours.
Backstabbing is fun... the look on your face is priceless
Get real. No one's going to form a single-file line if the building's on FIRE!
I say we shoot Cupid and see how he likes it.
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
I'm an optimistic pessimist.
Strangers have the best candy.
If you are a serial killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME. If you are a cereal killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM MY FRUIT LOOPS.
The spiders!! They want me to tap dance! I don't wanna tap dance.
He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron.
"Mom, you know how I feel about the dishwasher."~ Alex Russo, Wizards of Waverly Place
"I could've sworn I just explained that!"~ Zora Lancaster, Sonny with a Chance
"Squid's got jeans! Squid's got jeans!"~ Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Star, Spongebob Squarepants
"It's so funny when people you don't know explode." ~ Alex Russo, Wizards of Waverly Place
"Uh, London . . . where do you hear a 'q' in ladies?" ~ Mrs. Tuttweiler, Suite Life on Deck
"Something exploded. Someone screamed. Nothing unusual." ~ Cynthia Kadohata, Cracker! The Best Dog in Vietnam
"You're near-sighted, arthritic, you're reflexes are shot, and you're trying to unlock a cactus." ~ Ben Tennison, Ben 10
"I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder." ~ Donkey, Shrek
"So it's you and a syringe against the Capitol? See, this is why no one lets you make the plans." ~ Haymitch Abernathy, Catching Fire
"Hey, the bozos have the people!" ~ Melman, Madagascar
"Once he sees how messed up you guys are, he'll realize what a miracle I am." ~ Alex Russo, Wizards of Waverly Place
"I only have half an hour of relaxation left and the IDIOTS TOOK MY HOUSE!" ~ Squidward Tentacles, Spongebob Squarepants
"Oh, look, this is the funny part where all the villagers surround the werewolf and then DESTROY HIM. . . . I wonder where you can get torches like that." ~ Alex Russo, Wizards of Waverly Place
"You shuck corn. If you try to shuck a hog, it bites you." ~ Bailey Pickett, Suite Life on Deck
"Joe, did you just break a window with a shoe, that then hit a cat, causing a British ambulance to crash, which scared a cow which set off a fat guy playing the bagpipes?" ~ Dad, JONAS
"Kronos does not explode good. Next time we will use a big stick." ~ Tyson, Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Titan's Curse
"Is mayonnaise an instrument?" ~ Patrick Star, Spongebob Squarepants
"Aw . . . he loves all four of us. Wait, there's five of us!" ~ Grady Mitchell, Sonny with a Chance
"My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure." ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
"I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my Squishy!" ~ Dory, Finding Nemo
Who lives in our castle although she’s no good?
She never takes hints how to live like she should!
If you are like me and you want to farewell
Then listen, my lads, to the story I tell of
Let’s kick Umbridge,
Let’s beat Umbridge,
Let’s bomb Umbridge,
Ugly Umbridge!" From Facing Danger by whydoyouneedtoknow(sung to Spongebob Squarepants theme)
Ron was staring at Pettigrew with the utmost revulsion.
The next sentence is true. The previous sentence is false.
You laugh at me because I'm crazy, I laugh at you because there's an invisible leprechaun sitting on your shoulder.
You can't spell "diet" without "die"!
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Right now, I'm having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
I'm not saying you're stupid, I'm just implying it.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
EMO- Extravagantly Made Origami
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
A new teacher was trying to make use of her pyschology course. She started by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. She said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No ma'am but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself."
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
I used to care but I take a pill for that now.
Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is human's way of saying "You can't fire me, I quit."
Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - the fear of long words.
Keep smiling, it makes everyone wonder what you're up to.
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
You can't buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream which is pretty much the same thing.
I didn't lose my mind; I sold it on eBay.
Whoever said nothing was impossible never made an attempt to slam a revolving door.
I let my mind wander, but it never came back.
We must never, ever be mean to stupid people. If we are, they might go away. Then who would we laugh at?
Please refrain from excessively licking the ceiling.
The world is full of crazy people. They made me their leader.
This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob.
Don't mess with me, I've got a stick.
I did what they say and chose the road less traveled . . . now where the heck am I?
Education is important, school, however, is another matter.
I don't have a short attention span, I just - ooh, a kitty!
Make a man a fire and you can keep him warm for a day, but set a man on fire and you can keep him warm for life.
I'm not insane . . . I just do whatever the voices tell me to.
Boys are like trees: they take fifty years to grow up.
I don't obsess; I think intensely.
A conclusion is where you got tired of thinking.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
The buddy system is essential to survival; it gives the enemy something else to shoot at.
I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless.
You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
I stopped believing in fairies, dragons, good people, and other mythological creatures a long time ago.
Please don't try to run. We're tired and would prefer to kill you quickly.
Never judge a book by its movie.
A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that.
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.
Whoever said words don't hurt never got hit by a dictionary.
Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friends's forehead.
Isn't it funny how people who want quiet are always the loudest telling people to shut up?
The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. Therefore, what is the point in learning?
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call a "floor"- a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck, friends, for I may not return alive.
Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey!
The voices assure me that I'm normal.
Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.
I'm smiling. That alone should scare you.
Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline
When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's actually a meteor hurtling toward Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.
There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.
Twelve Things I've Learned From Sonny With A Chance.
ONLY IN AMERICA...
Notice: Need help moving bodies . . . I mean, stuff! Please contact the local jail.
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
The rules only apply if you get caught.
Why do our noses run and our feet smell?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest telling us to sit down and shut up.
I got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the w's.
A true idiot climbs a glass wall to see what's on the other side.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is just another word for cold. so if I'm not cold, I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend/girlfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
I used all my sick days so I called in dead.
Life isn't trying to pass me by; it's trying to run me over!
You're just jealous because I'm the only one the voices talk to.
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.
When in doubt, make words up!
Kids are the future. Be afraid, Be very afraid!
Welcome to the dark side. We have cookies! Oh, that red stuff leaking out of them? ummm...That's cooking oil.
Before you criticize a person, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and have their shoes!
I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly.
Don't hit kids. Seriously, they have guns now.
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with.
If you have read the books (Harry Potter) and HATE the fact that they burned down the Weasley house in the 6th movie and are really angry that they've practically ruined the first half of Book 7 by getting rid of the Weasley house copy and paste this onto your profile.
"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? I just want to know who the heck is drinking my dang soda."
A large percent of authors do not know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. If you do know the difference, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have ever annoyed people just for fun copy this to your profile.
If you've ever felt like something was watching you and then turned around to find nothing, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are a MOVIE QUOTER, which means you go around quoting movies for fun, copy and paste this into your profile
EMBRACE THE WEIRDNESS! If you embrace the weirdness, then copy and paste this onto your profile.
If several inanimate objects hate you post this on profile.
I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile
If you are against fur coats or killing animals just to look good, copy this onto your profile.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism.
If you think it's stupid that girls are associated with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile.
I don't write slash! If you don't write slash, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?
I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger and then it hit me
"You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain."
Just say no to drugs. Because if your drugs are talking to you, you've probably had too many.
Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them
Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!
That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast.
Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."
When in doubt, push random buttons!
You want to know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft!
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.
Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?"
There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.
They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...
The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.
Always take the time to smell the roses...and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.
It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown...and fewer still to ignore someone completely.
Canaries are the best, especially with ketchup on them.
Slow and steady gets you trampled by the other guys.
When opportunity knocks, shoot first and ask questions later.
When the going gets though, the though get duct tape.
Hate is a strong word… I hate you.
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't need him again.
Officer, I swear to drunk I’m not God!
All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.
Everything here is eatable. I’m eatable. But that, my children, is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.
Your village called, they’re missing their idiot.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.
We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box.
Shut up voices! Or I’ll poke you with a Q-tip again!
Some people are like slinkies, they’re really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not sure.
It’s you and me versus the world… we attack at dawn.
I’m not insensitive, I just don’t care.
Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.
If you’ve ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven’t, copy and paste this onto your profile.
Ninety eight percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you are one of the two percent who hasn’t, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
There is nothing wrong with any religion, race, sexual orientation, or gender. If you believe in tolerance towards all people, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you’ve ever tripped over your feet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If for any particular reason you have laughed during a movie that wasn’t funny, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are against child abuse, you should copy this into your profile.
If you are Harry Potter obsessed, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you’re obsessed with fanfiction, copy this into your profile.
If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they’re not, copy this into your profile.
If you don’t do drugs and never will, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think cancer is awful, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you talk to yourself and aren’t afraid to admit it, copy this into your profile.
If you are against animal cruelty, put this in your profile.
If you get too excited for books, movies etc to come out, copy this to your profile.
Just because we eat animals for food, doesn’t mean we can cut them up for clothing. If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, copy this onto your profile.
If you’ve ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.
If you think that green skin is awesome, copy this into your profile.
If you’ve been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever pushed on a door that said “pull” copy this into your profile.
Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you steal the sugar in Home Ec. and start eating it.So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
A friend wipes your tears when you’re rejected. A best friend goes up to him and says, “It’s because you’re gay isn’t it?”
A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, “THAT WAS AWESOME! LET’S DO IT AGAIN!”
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.
Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions.
Friend: Will help me learn to drive Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.
Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away Best Friend: Won't let me go away.
Friend: Will help me up when I fall down Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me.
Friend: Will go to a concert with me Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me.
Friend: Hides me from the cops Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place.
Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.
A GOOD friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A BEST friend will call him up and whisper, "You're next!"
They laugh because we’re losers… We laugh because they just figured it out.
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.
Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
There is nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It’s when you argue with yourself and LOSE then it’s weird.
Everyone’s weird in their own special way.
I seriously believe that I’m stupid in my own special way. Or that I’m special in my own stupid way. Either one I forget!
If you’ve ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think everyone’s out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you realize copying and pasting things in your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're in denial over Tonks and Lupin’s deaths, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are sad because there will be no more Harry Potter books , copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are Harry Potter obsessed, copy and paste this into you profile.
If you are a Harry/Hermione shipper, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think J.K.R. ruined the Harry Potter books with Half-Blood Prince and Deathly Hollows, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are highly perturbed by the pairing Hermione/Snape... Copy and paste this into your profile.
I SUPPORT S.P.E.W! HOUSE ELVES DESERVE RIGHTS! THEY ARE LIVING BREATHING... THINGS, TOO! Dobby, Winky and Kreacher deserve freedom! Copy and paste this into your profile if you support S.P.E.W, too!
If you think J. K. Rowling should write a series for the Marauders, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you believe in magic, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're a HP fan and know what PS (SS), CoS, PoA, GoF, OoTP, HBP, and DH mean, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think/believe in werewolf rights copy and paste this onto your profile. WOOT! GO REMUS!
I AM IN SIRIUS DENIAL! SIRIUS IS NOT DEAD! AND I WILL NOT LET YOU SAY OTHERWISE! If you too are in Sirius denial then copy and paste this into your profile. Because Denial is not just a river in Egypt! J.K. ROWLING KILLED HIM, I KNOW ... BUT HIS LEGACY LIVES ON IN ALL THE MARAUDER FICS ON THIS SITE!
If you are a NevillexLuna shipper and still love it even after J.K. Rowling said it would never happen, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are human and alive, copy this into your profile.
If you are female and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.
If you’ve ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you’ve ever looked all over the house for something that was in your hand the whole time, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you say it, copy this to your profile.
If you’ve ever asked a really stupid, obvious question copy this to your profile.
If you know someone that should be hit by a bus copy this to your profile.
If you are addicted to copy and pastes, copy this to your profile.
If you love your dad, copy this to your profile.
If you're a girl and get sick and tired of guys assuming that you're weak and can’t fight, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head against a desk for no reason copy this on your profile.
If you have ever wanted to be that little hyper pixie of Alice, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you're still waiting for your Hogwarts letter, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you’ve ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself or someone else, copy this to your profile.
If you have inside jokes… with yourself… copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you’re random and proud of it, copy this to your profile.
If you’ve ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
If you can’t walk up or down the stairs without looking at them, copy and paste this into your profile.
Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27th, 2006 just because it was ‘too small’ and ‘off its orbit’ for a couple scientists’ likings. JERKS!! LONG LIVE PLUTO!! Copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think you have seen all the copy and pastes on this site, well you're wrong, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile.
Ok, these are some things you do to annoy people.
1. Put a wet floor sign on the carpet
2. Go up to the lost and found person and tell them you lost a pair of shoes 3 years ago at your cousin’s house.
3. When the speakers come on, point and scream: NO! The voices are following me again!
4. Stand in a clothes rack and when people look for clothes say: Pick me, pick me!
5. When you order at McDonalds say: I’d like a chocolate milkshake, and there’d better not be any chocolate or milk in it! AND DON’T SHAKE IT!!
6. Sing a song really badly and off key especially near your music teacher.
7. Constantly tell people to follow the [insert color] brick road.
8. Scream really loudly and when questioned say: I saw an imaginary spider, only it wasn’t real.
Take Time To Read Each Sentence
This is this cat.
This is is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is a cat.
This is jerk cat.
This is busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
This is seconds cat.
Now read the third word of each line. :)
1. PUT YOUR iTUNES OR iPOD ON SHUFFLE (OR LISTEN TO THE RADIO).
2. FOR EACH QUESTION, PRESS THE "NEXT" BUTTON TO GET YOUR ANSWER.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME, NO MATTER HOW SILLY.
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? Standing In The Middle (Hmm... I think I'll make that my moto now.)
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Make It Better (I'm not sure how to interpret that...)
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? Rush (I didn't know I thought that!)
WHAT IS 2+2? How To Save A Life (Hmm... who knew adding saved lifes.)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Speed Dial (The name of the song works but the actual song? NO!)
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Hundred (How does that work?!)
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Games (I do love playing games...)
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Today (Huh?)
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? I'm Yours (Hysterical! It SO works!)
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? When I'm Gone (Hey! There's nothing wrong with me! Why do they hate me!)
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Girl Can Rock (...I can see it...)
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? These Days (I'm not sure that fits...)
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR FUNERAL? Here We Go Again (Ok now we're crossing a line here. That is no song for a funeral!)
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? What I Like About You (I could see it... I guess...)
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? Citizen/Soldier (I'M NOT A SOLDIER!!!!!!) (Sure... Just keep telling yourself that...) (I'm not!) (Uh-huh. Sure.) (Am not.) (Are to.) (Am not!) (Are to!) (Shut up! Am not!) (You shut up. Are to!) (No way!) (Way!) (I am not a soldier.) [Whatever... (She totally is!)] (I heard that!) (...)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Someone That You're With (WHOA!!!!!! NO NO NO NO NO!)
WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN? Single Ladies (Haha! I agree!)
HOW WILL YOU DIE? Car Wash (I am not going to a car wash ever again.)
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WILL REGRET? Bet On It (I will not ever bet on anything again then too.)
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH? Naked (LOL!!!!!!! It truly does make me laugh! BTW This song was meant figuritively- did I spell that right?)
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY? Gotta Be Somebody (Well I can totally agree if you listen to the lyrics.)
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED? Dance Forever (Hmm... is that a 'yes'? Who cares? DANCE FOREVER!!!!!!!)
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST? I'll Never Stop (If that's someone else then yeah that kinda would be scary...)
DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU? Higher (What does that have to do with anything?)
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WOULD CHANGE? When There Was Me And You (AWW... I can so relate so that's PERFECT.)
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW? Real Thing (Hmm... how to interpret that...)
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS? Everywhere (Interesting but ok.)
THE SOUNDTRACK OF MY LIFE:
Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts:
36.)I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snapes private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing.
37.) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.
38.)I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.
39.) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.
40.) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.
41.)The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.
42.)I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets".
43.)When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts.
44.)Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.
45.)A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.
46.) Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy. “
47.)I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.
48.). I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.
49.)Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny.
50.)Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient.
51.)Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
52.)I may not have a private army.
53.) I must not substitute chocolate-flavored laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate.
54.)Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.
55.)I am not the wicked witch of the west.
56.) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.
57.) I will not melt if water is poured over me.
58.) -Neither will Professor Umbridge.
59.)I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors.
60.)I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose.
61.) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.
62.) I will not test my Potions assigments by spiking Snape's drink with them.
63.) - Especially not all of them at once.
64.) I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts."
65.) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos."
66.)Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'.
67.)I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter.
68.)When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'.
69.)Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.
70.)The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters.
71.)I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.
72.)Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of muggle firearms.
73.)Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either.
74.)I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.
75.)I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes.
76.)I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.
77.)I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'.
78.)I will not create a betting pool on that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father.
79.)Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka.
80.)Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing GlimmerMcSparkles.
81.) I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
82.)Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin".
83.)I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape.
84.). - However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it.
85.)If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume.
86.) I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes.
87.)I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either.
88.)I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron.
89.)I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times.
90.)It's not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says All the good looking ones die young with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it.
91.)I will not yell "Hey look It's Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade
92.)I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad bad nightmare about Harry
93.)I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall
94.) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work."
95.) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot.
96.) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.
97.) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive.
98.) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast.
99.) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day."
100.) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling.
101.)I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.
102.) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween.
103.) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously.
104.) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions.
105.) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.
106.) I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.”
107.) I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.
108.) I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles”.
109.) I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rocks series during Arithmacy exams.
111.) There is no such thing as the chamber of Double Secret Probation.
112.) My name is not “the Dark Lord Happy-Pants” I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.
113.) Bringing fortune cookies to divination class does not count for extra credit.
114.) I will not douse Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible while wearing it and standing by the fire in the common room.
115.) I will not tell first years they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.
116.) I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.
117.) I will not give Gryffindors pixie sticks.
118.) I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles.
119.) A time turner is not a flux capacitator I should therefore not try to install it in a muggle car.
120.) I shall not refer to DADA professors as canaries in a coal mine.
121.) When fighting deatheaters in the annual June good vs. evil fight I will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can only be ONE”.
122.) A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or playing drums no matter how bored I become.
123.) It is generally accepted that cats and dragons can not interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the results would be.
124.) 42 is not the answer to every question on the O.W.L.S.
125.) I am allowed to have a cat, rat, toad, or an owl. I am not allowed to have reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.
126.) No matter how good an Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
127.) I will not refer to the Defense against the Dark arts professor as Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.
128.) "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
131.) I am not allowed to draw a smiley face on my arm and tell everyone its the new Dark Mark.
132.) Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.
133.) I will stop asking when we will learn to make "Love Potion Number Nine".
134.) It is wrong to refer to Aragog as "Charlotte".
135.) Crucifixes do not ward off Slytherins, and I should not test that.
136.) There is no "open-mike night" at Hogwarts.
137.) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.
138.) The fact that Draco Malfoy is short, blond, pale-eyed and rat-faced is no reason for me to tell the Slytherins that Peter Pettigrew should be paying Narcissa child support.
139.) I will not cover myself in ectoplasm and walk out of a fireplace, saying I took the "Flu Network".
140.) There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.
141.) I will not refer to Professor McGonagall as Catwoman, no matter how funny she would look in tight leather.
142.) Humming/singing/referring in any way to Duran Duran's "Hungry Like the Wolf" around Professor Lupin is inappropriate. It's best not to bring up "Thriller", either.
145.) Singing 99 Bottles of Potion on the wall nonstop repeatedly will result in a detention.
146.) When detained by dementors, I do not have a right to a strip search.
147.)Luna Lovegood does not have pointed ears, nor is she to be addressed as 'Galadriel'.
148.) I am not a Vampire Slayer and Professor Lupin is not my Watcher. Nor will I attempt to stake Professor Snape.
149.) If I spot the Dark Mark I shall not shout 'Thunder, Thunder, Thunder, THUNDERCATS, HO!'
150.) Professor Snape did not kill my father and does not deserve to die. (Is this Star Wars or The Princess Bride?)
151.) I am not allowed to organize a witch burning, even if I have been assigned to do a presentation on Muggle history in my Muggle Studies class.
152.) Yelling 'To infinity and BEYOND!' was only funny the first time I took off on my broom.
153.) I am not allowed to scare the first-years by screaming "I'm melting! I'm meeeeeeeeeeeltiiing!" while they are in the showers.
154.) Hogwarts is in the UK, thus the United States Constitution does not apply to any of its students. Therefore, 'Avada Kedavra' does not fall under First Amendment freedom of speech rights.
155.) Watching "The Food Network" is not equivalent to sitting NEWT-level Potions classes.
156.) When called upon in class, I shall not insist that the correct answer to everything is '42'.
157.) Telling Lucius what he could do with his staff... is not advisable.
158.) There is no such thing as the "Hufflepuff Marshmallow Man".
159.) Voldemort, after being defeated, did not get served.
160.) I will not offer Professor McGonagall lasagna.
161.) I will not attempt to repel Dementors by covering myself in chocolate body paint.
162.) "Springtime for Voldemort" is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play.
163.) Despite the appearances of the employees and the vaults, Gringotts is not the entrance to the Labyrinth.
164.) I am not allowed to ask Pureblood students things like, "If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?"
165.) I will not invite Professor Snape to a midnight showing of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show". That goes double for Voldemort.
166.) I'm not on Survivor, and therefore I'm not allowed to vote people out of the common room.
167.) It is not respectful to use a Polyjuice potion to become Lord Voldemort’s look-alike and glare at every person within three feet of me
168.) – Neither should I steal Harry Potters’ wand to complete the outfit
169.) It is not a good idea to teach Peeves pick-pocketing, lock-picking, or any similar thing
170.) – neither is it to convince him to join my side in return
171.) No matter how creepy and abandoned some of the towers are, I will not find Johnny Depp with scissors for hands in any of them.
172.) I will stop telling tree-huggers to go visit the Whomping Willow.
173.) However tempting it may be, I will not send Voldemort a Christmas card telling him how much we all love him, even through these difficult times.
174.) I will not point out to the house-elves how much sushi could be made of the giant squid.
175.) I will not give Voldemort a toupee to hide his baldness.
176.) I will not steal Veritaserum from Snape’s store and add some to the teachers’ morning tea.
177.) The phrase “Good dragon, nice dragon, please don’t kill me,” doesn't work.
178.) I must not point at Voldemort and say “I taught him everything he knows.”
179.) I will not tell Umbridge “Voldemort says, ‘Hi,’” every time I see her.
180.) I should not tell Cho Chang Cedric came to me in a dream and wanted me to tell her something, but I woke up before he did.
181.) I should not tell Umbridge that I have a doggie named “Fluffy” she would like to meet. But I will anyway.
182.) I must not convince Cedric to wear a red shirt on the last task of the Triwizard Tournament.
183.) I will not say, “What’s the sitch?” into the Order’s two-way mirrors.
184.) A hug is not all Snape needs.
185.) I can not call Professor Snape “the Sheriff of Nottingham”.
186.) I am not to sing “That’s So Raven” when passing Ravenclaws in the corridors.
187.) I will not enchant a scarecrow and suit of armor to skip through the halls singing, “We’re Off to See the Wizard”.
188.) I must not tell Umbridge that some centaurs have invited her to a party.
189.) I shall not tell Snape, “There is a thing called shampoo in the world.”
190.) I will not refer to Professer Dumbledore as ‘Tim the Enchanter’
191.) I must not yell “She-who-must-not-be-named is coming!” every time Umbidge walks down the hall.
192.) I shall not say, “I heard that if you hug Voldemort he won’t kill you,” to the first years.
193.) Professor McGonagall likes her milk in a glass, not a saucer.
194.) Wolf whistling at Lupin when he walks by is not funny.
195.) I must not bewitch the door to Professor Snape’s office so that it will only open if he says, “Business in front; party in the back!”
196.) When I see Professor Umbridge, I will not say, “There you are, Trevor. Neville has been looking all over for you.”
197.) Dementors don’t like it when you walk up to them and ask if they are the Ghost of Christmas-Yet-To-Come.
198.) When someone pulls Godric Gryffindor’s sword out of the Sorting Hat, I will not say, “You have acquired the Master Sword.”
199.) Saying, “Accio brooms” while first years are having flying lessons isn’t nice.
200.) I am not to ask, “Voldemort: boxers or briefs?”
201.) Mad-Eye Moody’s moto is “constant vigilance” not “custard pudding”.
202.) I do not have a Dalek patronus.
203.) I must not moon Professor Lupin. Even if his nickname is “Moony”.
204.) Voldemort’s nickname is NOT “Filthy Half-Blood”.
143.) If asked in class what the Avada Kedavra curse does, yelling "It does DEATH!" may be correct but is not the manner in which one should answer.
144.) I will not encourage the Holse Elves to form a union.
130.) I will not reenact Potter Puppet Pals in the Great Hall.
110.) Dumbledore is not Gandalf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts.
2) I will not sing "We're Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.
3) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class
4) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss
5) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda
6) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar
7) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy
8) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month"
9) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals
10) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches
12) When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Batmoblie, Robin!"
13) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.
14) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor
15) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental
16) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends"
17) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
18) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!"
19) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bamf!" everytime I apparate.
20) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls.
21) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.
22) I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand.
23) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.
24) I will not slip Malfoy a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice.
25) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.
26) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.
27) I will not refer to the Accio charm as "the Force".
28) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the Christmas Holidays.
29) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library.
30) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.
31.)I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was hardcore".
32.)House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
33.) Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a
34.)I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause.
35.) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.
1) Seamus Finnigan is not after me lucky charms
10 Ways to Aggravate Albus Dumbledore
1. Run, panting into his office and say, "Professor, Professor! Voldemort has invaded Hogwarts!" Then lead him all around the school for the rest of the day and night, muttering, "I thought I saw him in this corridor."
2. Follow him around all day, screaming, "IT WAS SNAPE'S FAULT! IT WAS SNAPE'S FAULT!"
3. When you are called into his office to be lectured for poor behavior sit there and click a pen the entire time. When he pauses, say, "Ooo, clicky! Too bad they don't make quills like this. I'm sorry, Albus, what were you saying?"
4. Mention the "incompetence of Mudbloods," at every opportunity.
5. When he is making his speech at the first speech in the great Hall, whistle, clap your hands, and say "Yeah, Dumble, you got dis, you got dis!" continuously throughout the entire thing.
6. Hold a contest among your fellow students of, "Who Can Say Dumbledore's Full Name the Fastest?"
7. Inform him that Ron accidentally infected his lemon drops with the Spattergroit (make sure that you do this while he's eating one.)
8. Invite the giant squid to the Yule Ball and thell Dumbledore that you absolutely insist that he be allowed to attend.
9. Whenever Harry is summoned to his ofice for one of their private chats, be sure to mutter about "favoritism."
10. Invite Voldemort and all of the Death Eaters to the Great Hall for tea.
27 Ways to Annoy Dolores Umbridge
1. Offer her flies. Tell her they're good with ketchup.
2. Ask her if she's related to Trevor.
3. Follow close behind her all day, making clip-clopping noises with your tongue.
4. Ask her if she's met the handsome new divination teacher.
5. Tell her that Cornelius Fudge only hired her to scare small children.
6. Dye all her clothes black.
7. ...when she acts horrified, say you were only trying to help her, and that "black is the new pink."
8. Send her love notes, signing them as if they were from Cornelius Fudge.
9. Perpetually use the word "umbrage."
10. Remind her constantly that her "Selwyn Family Heirloom" contained the shreds of the most evil wizard of modern times.
11. Create your own Educational Decrees to contradict her's.
12. Make sure these said Decrees are identical to her own. Post them everywhere.
13. Turn all of her kittens into toads.
14. Talk in stage whispers about "army meetings," "Dumbledore," and "Harry Potter." Should she confront you, stop talking, smile, and whistle innocently.
15. Tell her you're doing a Herbology project and want to know more about the plants in her natural habitat.
16. Buy her Weasleys' Wild-Fire Whiz-Bangs for Christmas.
17. Ask her if she's read the latest edition of the Quibbler. When she says no, offer her one.
18. When she's within earshot, announce loudly that Snape was a better headmaster than she was.
19. Or if you're feeling particularly daring, announce that Sir Cadogan would make a better headmaster.
20.Offer her a free membership with S.P.E.W.
21. Tell her that you didn't do your homework because "progress for progress sake must be prohibited."
22. Ask her if she wears that mask all the time, or just when she's teaching.
23. Ponder loudly whether the title "Hogwarts High Inquisitor" sounds quite as powerful as, say, "Muggle Prime Minister."
24. Present her with a voodoo doll with an uncanny resemblance to her, but just before giving it to her, stash it away, muttering, "Oops, that one's Harry's..."
25. Buy her a pet Niffler.
26. Ask her why she didn't transform into a beautiful princess when she recieved her first kiss.
27. ...cut yourself off before you finish the question, look like you just realized something, then pat her arm consolingly and say, "Don't worry. Not everyone is cut out for love."
You know you've read SS/PS one too many times when you...
1. Continually ask people if they want a Lemon Drop.
2. Throw blankets over yourself and insist you're invisble.
3. Tell your hats that you don't want to be put it Slytherin.
4. Wince and grab your forehead every time you see a man wearing a turban.
5. Ask snakes if they can hear you.
6. Instruct your chess pieces where to move.
7. Paint walnuts yellow, toss them in the air, and say you're the youngest seeker in a century.
8. choke on said Walnut, and say that you've caught the Snitch.
9. Act genuinely surprised when you get presents for Christmas.
10. Tap random bricks with an umbrella and insist you're trying to get into Diagon Alley.
11. Pay people with your version of Galleons, Sickles, and Knuts.
12. Wave random sticks around, and when nothing happens, tell yourself that it just isn't the right one.
13. Tell your siblings that Hagrid will give them a pig tail.
14. Call people Muggles.
15. Tell random people that you know how to calm fluffy...
16. ...and refuse to explain.
17. Say "sunshine daisies, butter mellow, turn this stupid fat rat yellow," at every mouse you see.
18. Tell your friends to beware of the troll in their bathroom.
19. Expect to see your heart's desire in a mirror.
20. Feel around in your pocket for any stones while staring in said mirror.
21. Set fire to the clothes of men with black hair at public sporting events.
22. Look out for Firenze every time you enter a forest.
23. Tell your teachers that you know about the Sorcerer's Stone...
24. ...and refuse to explain.
25. Have unknowingly done multiple things on this list.
26. Continually talk about how evil you think Snape is.
27. Remind your arch-enemy that there hasn't been a witch or wizard who hasn't gone bad in Slytherin.
28. Check for trap doors beneath your dog.
29. Ask people to address their letters to you to the "cupboard under the stairs," or "the old house on the rock."
30. Jinx your broomstick, and pray that Hermione will show up to break Quirrell's eye contact.
31. Search every bag of jellybeans for a bogey flavored one. Tell all those who say otherwise that George swore he once found one.
120 Ways to Agitate Someone Who Doesn't Like Harry Potter
1. Relate everything they say to the Harry Potter books and/or movies.
2. Say they look like a Harry Potter character of the opposite gender.
3. Quote Dobby.
4. Hog the computer 24/7 while logged onto MuggleNet.
5. Read out loud to them whenever they can't get away from you (Example: When in a car or an elevator). If you don't have a book with you, recite from memory.
6. Give them Harry Potter merchandise for their birthday and Christmas and demand that they keep it and treasure it forever.
7. Rewrite their favorite song with Harry Potter lyrics and sing it constantly.
8. Crowd their inbox with Harry Potter related e-mail and make sure the subjects are misleading.
9. Start singing a Sorting Hat song at random moments, pretend to forget what comes next, and ask if they know in a very loud voice.
10. Make them play Quidditch with you.
11. Give all of their friends Harry Potter related nicknames and act mortally offended when they don't know the history of their character.
12. Change your name to that of a Harry Potter character and start screaming when they don't address you as such in public.
13. Always speak with a British accent - especially if you aren't from the UK.
14. Refer to real places by Harry Potter names.
15. ...throw a fit if others don't use these names.
16. Draw round glasses and lightning bolt scars on every poster and picture you come across...in permanent marker.
17. Give long lectures about how the prophecy relates to every day life.
18. Give every room in your house a Harry Potter codename. ( Example: The living room becomes the Entrance Hall) and whenever someone asks you where something is, use these names.
19. Change them immediately if they figure out what the names refer to.
20. Constantly ask if they can see the thestrals too.
21. ...refuse to explain what a thestral is.
22. Say, "Anything off the trolley, dear?" in a fake British accent when offering anyone food.
23. Pretend you can do magic.
24. Constantly rearrange their furniture and blame it on indecisive house-elves.
25. Yell "Get away from me, Death Eater!" whenever they get near you.
26. Constantly compare them to Mrs. Figg.
27. ...laugh evilly if they ask who Mrs. Figg is.
28. Complain loudly about how your pictures don't move.
29. Whenever you're asked for advice, reply with "Three turns should do it" in a very serious voice.
30. Break any awkward silences by saying, "How 'bout them Chudley Cannons?"
31. Tell a very long joke using a random Harry Potter quote as the punchline and then laugh hysterically.
32. ...make sure the joke isn't funny.
33. Use the titles "You-Know-Who" and "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" to refer to random people.
34. ... make sure no one knows who you're talking about.
35. Write letters to people (friends, neighbors...politicians) and ask them to join S.P.E.W.
36. ...hand fliers advertising it to random passerby.
37. Report Dumbledore's death to your local authorities.
38. Call them repeatedly asking if Percy Weasley is there and hang up before they can reply.
39. Pop up in place you're not supposed to be and insist that you were only trying to Apparate.
40. If you're late for something, blame it on your broken Time Turner.
41. Deck yourself out in all of your Harry Potter gear when you know you'll be going to a public place.
42. Walk past a wall over and over again, stopping randomly to bang on. When you receive weird stares, shout, "What?! I'm look for the Room of Requirement!"
43. Every time you see them, demand an explanation of why exactly they don't like Harry Potter.
44. If anyone tells you you'll go to hell for reading Harry Potter, either: a) jump and down and tell them that you can't wait; b) tell them you'll meet them there; c) sing "Weasley Is Our King" over and over again; or d) ask them to back up this claim with evidence, and laugh at them when they can't.
45. Play the soundtracks while they're stuck in your car.
46. ...add commentary. ( Oh, this is where they...)
47. When one of the movies is on TV, call to remind them.
48. ...every five minutes.
49. If they ask for your phone number, tell them it's 6-2-4-4-2.
50. Say "Alohomora!" everytime you open a door.
51. Sort every person you meet into one of the four Houses.
52. Follow them around while acting out a scene from the book doing very annoying voices for all the characters. Expect them to join in, and act offended when they don't.
53. Count down to some obscure Harry Potter event, whether it's Dumbledore's birthday, or when a Harry Potter DVD comes out. Keep saying: "87 (86, 85, etc.) more days!" in the middle of every conversation you have with your friend. Smile in a superior way when they ask what you're counting down to.
54. Start talking about a deceased Harry Potter character and suddenly burst into hysterical tears.
55. Refuse to be comforted.
56. Ask them to help you study for your O.W.L's and N.E.W.T's.
57. Knit them hats and insist that you're just trying to liberate them.
58. Talk to animals and insist that they're Animagi.
59. Treat them to lunch and then suddenly realize you can't pay for the meal since the restaurant doesn't accept Galleons, Sickles, or Knuts.
60. Run up to random men with long, dark hair and scream, "SIRIUS! I always knew you were alive!"
61. Point at modern electronic devices and loudly say, "Look at that! The things these Muggles come up with..."
62. Write letters to the editor of your local newspaper about the evils of our society ( Namely, Death Eaters and discrimination against friendly werewolves).
63. Send them numerous letters informing them that they have been selected to attend Hogwarts.
64. Carry around a shiny rock and proclaim that you possess the Sorcerer's Stone.
65. Say everything in a sing-song voice like Luna Lovegood.
66. End every converastion and/or letter with "Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!"
67. ...refuse to provide an explanation.
68. Tap all brick walls you encounter with an umbrella.
69. Say "Lumos" when turning on a light.
70. Point and grunt and insist that you're speaking Troll.
71. Refuse to wash your hair and explain that you're going for the Snape look.
72. Spend hours at a time trying to get your broom to fly.
73. Invite them over for the night and force them to watch the first three movies with you.
74. If they leave for any reason, restart the movie and tell them it's the Time Turner scene.
75. Shriek loudly and insist that you're speaking Mermish.
76. If you're asked to retrieve something, shout "Accio!" loudly.
77. ...when this doesn't work, throw a fit.
78. Demand to know what exactly the function of a rubber duck is.
79. Talk like Hagrid.
80. Point to garden gnomes and say, "Silly Muggles don't have a clue about what gnomes look like!" in a very loud voice.
81. Take them to a CD store and make them help you look for the newest Weird Sisters album.
82. Yell "Avada Kedavra" anytime they give the anti-HP lecture, then fake excruciating pain as your soul rips in two.
83. Write "Enemies of the Heir, BEWARE!" in red paint on their wall.
84. When confronted about the message, refuse to take responsibility and/or explain it further.
85. Hum Hedwig's Theme constantly and be sure to include any crescendos, decrescendos, accents, etc.
86. Petition to have Hedwig's Theme become the new National Anthem.
87. Wear all black and explain that you're in mourning over the death of "The Only One He Ever Feared."
88. ...when asked for am explanation of this cryptic title, cry hysterically.
89. Replace their entire movie collection with the Harry Potter films.
90. If they ask you about the weather, solemnly say, "Mars is bright tonight."
91. Print this out and use it as a checklist.
92. Insist that they subscribe for your new Harry Potter newsletter and when they say no, act like you've been seriously offended.
93. Potter Puppet Pals, anyone?
94. Knit them a maroon jumper every year - especially if maroon isn't their color.
95. When taking the stairs with them, stop and insist that you have to wait because the staircases are moving.
96. If someone turns off the lights, make a loud cracking sound and pretend to Apparate to the other side of the room.
97. Carry around a hip flask and refuse to drink anything anyone offers you.
98. Toss a small handful of sand and yell out, "Diagon Alley!"
99. If you go to a train station with them, loudly ask random people if they know where you can find Platform 9 3/4. Do this in an extremely fake British accent.
100. When your friend is checking sports scores, ask them if they can find out the score of the latest Quidditch match.
101. If they refuse, complain (loudly) that you missed the semi-final match between the Chudley Cannons and the Wimbourne Wasps and you need to know who will be advancing to the finals against the Tutshill Tornadoes.
102. At your next sleepover, draw a lightning-bolt scar on your forehead, and just as your friend is drifting off to sleep, grab your forehead and start screaming that you dreamed Voldemort killed your parents.
103. Fill a bowl with water and tie some tinsel to the end of your wand. Move the wand-tip from your temple to the bowl and pretend you're transferring your thoughts to a Pensieve, and ask not to be disturbed.
104. When at a train station with them, repeatedly throw yourself against the wall between Platforms 9 and 10. If someone asks if you need help, state in a panicked voice that you're going to miss the Hogwarts Express, and do they have a flying car that you could borrow?
105.At random moments, pick up a wand like object and run around a room, screaming deadly curses and disturbing jinxes. Then collapse, act faint and say that you must be immediately to St. Mungos for you had been placed under the Imperius curse. When not taken, repeat the process.
106. While playing chess with them, stare at your pieces and give them verbal commands.
107. Throw the chessboard across the room when the pieces don't move.
108. Invite them to play "find the Horcrux" with you.
109. Tell them you're wearing an invisibility cloak, then hide.
110. Say "Knock knock." When the person says "Who's there?", say "You Know." When they say "You Know Who?", roll on the floor laughing. When they say they don't get it, become very offended and refuse to explain.
111. Wear mismatched clothes and if someone asks you why say it's because you can never keep up with the muggle fashions.
112. Send out birthday party invitations for a Harry Potter character. Be sure to call everyone who doesn't respond and ask them if they're coming.
113. On the first day of school, ask all of your teachers if "Hogwarts, a History" will be required reading.
114. In casual conversation, mention things you've been taught by Professor Flitwick.
115. Call your local station or cable provider and ask if they will be carrying the Chuddly Cannon games this season.
116. Write all letters to said person on parchment with quills.
117. Whenever they read the newspaper in public, complain loudly about how Scrimegeour is paying them to keep the big stories quiet.
118. Drag them along to the nearest place that has old brick buildings, pull out your pink umbrella, and start tapping the bricks - explain that you're looking for Diagon Alley.
119. Whenever it's foggy outside, scream "The Dementors are coming!" and hide for days at a time.
120. Fill a bowl with water and tie some tinsel to the end of your wand. Move the wand-tip from your temple to the bowl and pretend you're transferring your thoughts to a Pensieve, and ask not to be disturbed.
121. Insist the radio is called a Wizarding Wireless Network.
122. When travelling long distances, insist on going by Floo Powder - while grabbing a handful of soil from the nearest flowerpot.
123. Tell them that they're almost as smart as Grawp.
124. ..refuse to tell them who Grawp is.
125. Speak in a loud harsh voice at random moments and make predictions about people. Then, use your normal voice again and pretend that you don't remember anything.
126. Constantly remind them that you're Dumbledore's man/woman through and through.
127. Walk up to random people and ask them if their initials are R.A.B.
128. If they say no, give them a dirty mistrusting look.
129. If they say yes, then tackle them and demand that they hand over the Horcrux.
130. Yell "Crucio" at drivers who cut you off.
131. Call them every night and ask what the Transfiguration homework is.
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