Alastor Wolfkin
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Joined 07-08-10, id: 2438919, Profile Updated: 09-03-12
Author has written 4 stories for Harry Potter, Naruto, Dragon Age, and Borderlands.

Quotes

“If I am going to descend into madness, I am going to do it in style.” –Less Wrong

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimization." –Less Wrong

“I don't want to rule the universe. I just think it could be more sensibly organized." –Less Wrong

“Bad things happen to good people, but bad things also happen to bad people, too.” –Logan Duck

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not so sure about the universe.” –Albert Einstien

“Try all you like to make something more foolproof; but all you'll manage is finding a better fool.” –insomniac1

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge - myth is more potent than history - dreams are more powerful than facts - hope always triumphs over experience - laughter is the cure for grief - love is stronger than death. -Robert Fulghum, The Storyteller's Creed

"Almost doesn't cut it except in horseshoes, hand grenades, and nuclear war." –Auralee

“You find happiness by smiling.” –Arthur Uther Pendragon (Archdruid)

“It’s nice to be important, but it’s far more important to be nice.”

May your troubles be less, may your blessings be more, and
may nothing but happiness come through your door

Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.

“Be kind to people on the way up, you'll see them on the way down” –tyro12

"Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence"

“In the spirit of all good adventures…” –Rorschach’s Blot

“If I cloned myself, we'd fight to the death and the winner would be the new me.” –The Comic Irregulars

Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them? –Abraham Lincoln

You may have created my past, and screwed up my present, but you have no control over my future. –David Klass

The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his. –George S. Patton

"The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra." -Jimmy Johnson

“I need you to trust me.”

“But you don’t always tell me the truth!”

“If I always told you the truth then I wouldn’t need you to trust me.” –The 11th Doctor and Amy Pond

“May your swords stay sharp, your victories final, and your foes headless." –DylanBlack

There’s no such thing as paranoia. There’s just the cautious and the dead. –Soxman

Per audacia ad astra –Bungie (To boldly reach the stars)

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.

Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.

Is he both able, and willing?

Then whence cometh evil?

Is he neither able nor willing?

Then why call him God? -Epicurus

There is no overkill, there is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload.' - Howard Tayler

10 Reasons Gay Marriage is wrong! (INSERT EPIC SARCASM)

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, birth control and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4. Marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all: women are property, matches are arranged in childhood, blacks can't marry whites, Catholics can't marry Jews, divorce is illegal, and adultery is punishable by death
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9. If we look to the word of God, His punishment for sexual immorality is equal to that of murder. Therefore, teaching kids to tolerate homosexuality is equal to teaching them to tolerate murder.
10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

If you support gay marriage and want to show it, paste this into your profile.

Iam the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Post this in your profile if you believe Homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.See If They Slow Down.

2.. Page Yourself Over The Intercom.Don't Disguise Your Voice

3. Every Time Someone Asks YouToDo Something,ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Decaf In TheCoffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over TheirCaffeine Addictions,Switch to Espresso.

5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, WriteForMarijuana.

6. Skipdown the hallRather Than Walkand see how many looks you get.

7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is'To Go'.

9. Sing Along At The Opera.

10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because Youhave a headache.

11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream'I Won! I Won!'

12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards theParking lot, Yelling'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

13 Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.

Repost this if you forgot how to breathe while reading.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

RIP We shall remember

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Nothing but Trouble by Mister Cynical reviews
The Chunin Exams have come back to Konoha and the Hokage has decided to recall all her ninjas, including one Naruto Uzumaki. Too bad she doesn't know that she'd probably be better off without him.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 39 - Words: 109,990 - Reviews: 2176 - Favs: 3,717 - Follows: 3,064 - Updated: 5/30 - Published: 4/17/2009 - Naruto U., Anko M. - Complete
Snow, Blood, and Mahogany - A Grimmauld Fairy Tale by itakethewords reviews
Fair as snow, red like blood, and rich in heart and strong like mahogany. This is what happens when Muggles accidentally cast blood magic. Only, it takes someone special to learn just who is the fairest in the land. Hermione, with seven Weasleys and her Prince settle it once and for all. A Grimmauld Fairy Tale. M For a reason.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,924 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 6 - Published: 1/1 - [Hermione G., Harry P.] - Complete
Harry Potter and the Heir of Slytherin by The Engulfing Silence reviews
One year ends and another begins. During this year, Harry Potter studies under Nicolas Flamel, is forced to deal with a Vampire Princess, and learns there is yet another danger lurking within the walls of Hogwarts, one that's been around since the time of the Founders. What's a poor student with perfect memory to do? Sequel to Gift of Memories. Warning: Character Death!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 25 - Words: 227,234 - Reviews: 4169 - Favs: 4,445 - Follows: 4,410 - Updated: 12/22/2014 - Published: 4/12/2013 - Harry P. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Marcello School by Kjkit reviews
Beginning of summer, Harry is getting over happenings in 5thyr when he is kidnapped and a door of opportunity opens... reviews welcome! COMPLETE! - 09/12 I'm aware of a few chapter loading issues - will be trying to fix when i can!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 54 - Words: 179,819 - Reviews: 1564 - Favs: 2,156 - Follows: 469 - Updated: 9/12/2014 - Published: 3/19/2004 - Harry P. - Complete
Faery Heroes by Silently Watches reviews
Response to Paladeus's challenge "Champions of Lilith". Harry, Hermione, and Luna get a chance to travel back in time and prevent the hell that England became under Voldemort's rule, and maybe line their pockets while they're at it. Lunar Harmony; plenty of innuendo, dark humor; manipulative!Dumbles; jerk!Snape; bad!Molly, Ron, Ginny
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 50 - Words: 245,544 - Reviews: 5154 - Favs: 6,477 - Follows: 6,191 - Updated: 7/23/2014 - Published: 6/19/2012 - [Harry P., Hermione G., Luna L.] - Complete
The Unwilling Participant by ManMadeofLasers reviews
Just because Harry has to participate in the Triwizard Tournament doesn't mean he has to try, does it? Starts summer before fourth year, follow events of GoF.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 101,492 - Reviews: 395 - Favs: 1,697 - Follows: 1,053 - Updated: 1/24/2014 - Published: 1/19/2014 - Harry P., Luna L. - Complete
Firebird's Son: Book I of the Firebird Trilogy by Darth Marrs reviews
He stepped into a world he didn't understand, following footprints he could not see, toward a destiny he could never imagine. How can one boy make a world brighter when it is so very dark to begin with? A completely AU Harry Potter universe.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 40 - Words: 172,506 - Reviews: 3604 - Favs: 3,528 - Follows: 3,050 - Updated: 8/24/2013 - Published: 10/21/2012 - Harry P., Luna L. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Forests of Valbonë by enembee reviews
Long ago the Forests of Valbonë were closed to wizards and all were forbidden to set foot within them. So when, at the end of his second year, Harry becomes disenchanted with his life at Hogwarts, where else could he and his unlikely band of cohorts want to go? Join Harry on a trip into the unknown, where the only certainty is that he has absolutely no idea what he's doing.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 49 - Words: 115,748 - Reviews: 2065 - Favs: 2,106 - Follows: 2,325 - Updated: 6/29/2013 - Published: 8/14/2011 - Harry P., Sorting Hat
On An Island In The Sun by Rorschach's Blot reviews
You don't like the way this country operates? You think its bureaucrats corrupt, its politicians moronic, its people apathetic sheep? Fine! Go make your own!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 32,584 - Reviews: 326 - Favs: 1,905 - Follows: 653 - Updated: 5/28/2013 - Published: 5/9/2013 - Complete
That Look by lord of the land of fire reviews
Anko sees something that worries her and decides to do something about it.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 70 - Words: 154,558 - Reviews: 7622 - Favs: 4,934 - Follows: 4,781 - Updated: 4/18/2013 - Published: 4/22/2009 - Anko M., Naruto U.
Harry Potter and the Gift of Memories by The Engulfing Silence reviews
Eidetic Memory, the ability to remember everything you have ever done, seen, smelled, tasted, and touched. To some it is a gift, to others a curse. For Harry Potter, it's both.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 30 - Words: 274,147 - Reviews: 3404 - Favs: 5,795 - Follows: 3,589 - Updated: 4/12/2013 - Published: 11/3/2012 - Harry P. - Complete
When Stars Align by MiHnn reviews
Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end. (Harry Potter & Luna Lovegood - One shot)
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,980 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/18/2013 - Harry P., Luna L. - Complete
Emerald Flight Book One: Union by megamatt09 reviews
Two rebellious teenagers meet in Vegas with one night that changes their lives forever. Somewhat AU. Harry/Kara, expanded in future books. Blood Brandy's Vegas Wedding Challenge used as a starting point. Part One in a Trilogy. Extended summary prior to Chapter One.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Justice League - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 37 - Words: 247,052 - Reviews: 1134 - Favs: 1,531 - Follows: 1,094 - Updated: 11/14/2012 - Published: 7/18/2012 - Harry P., Linda L./Kara Zor-El/Supergirl - Complete
Rocking the Boat by DerLaCroix reviews
Harry is left with the Dursleys just after his godfather had died. One thing leads to the other and Harry is fed up with being a puppet. He breaks free and finds help. And boy, does he start rocking the boat.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 245,662 - Reviews: 3155 - Favs: 6,058 - Follows: 5,044 - Updated: 10/2/2012 - Published: 2/5/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Ramen Doodles by Andrew Joshua Talon reviews
Omakes, story snippets, and random ideas for stories collected into one neat volume. Enjoy.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 53 - Words: 111,602 - Reviews: 804 - Favs: 543 - Follows: 351 - Updated: 9/22/2012 - Published: 4/5/2009 - Naruto U.
Finding Why's by B. A. Ware reviews
Harry must have been lonely while living at the Dursley's. What if he wished a friend and it worked? "Inquisitive, unconventional Harry. Lots of humour" like someone said. Writing gets better later on, said another. In the end H/Hr, some N/L.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 95 - Words: 356,533 - Reviews: 569 - Favs: 684 - Follows: 492 - Updated: 6/30/2012 - Published: 4/30/2010 - Harry P. - Complete
Uchiha Fukurou by ToBetasered reviews
Uchiha Fukurou was conceived when at the same moment, in another universe, Old Man Potter died.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 85,861 - Reviews: 1999 - Favs: 3,760 - Follows: 3,555 - Updated: 5/3/2012 - Published: 7/4/2011 - Harry P., Mikoto U.
Harry Potter and the Sun Source by Clell65619 reviews
This is an extremely AU crossover fic that asks the question what might have happened if Petunia Dursley hadn't found a young Harry Potter sleeping on her doorstep on the morning of the 2nd of November 1981. After all, Dumbledore was a bit careless with
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 111,868 - Reviews: 2145 - Favs: 5,670 - Follows: 4,018 - Updated: 5/3/2012 - Published: 9/11/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
Deprived by The Crimson Lord reviews
On that fateful day, two Potters were born. One was destined to be the Boy-Who-Lived. The other was forgotten by the Wizarding World. Now, as the Triwizard Tournament nears, a strange boy is contracted to defend a beautiful girl.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 159,330 - Reviews: 3468 - Favs: 7,913 - Follows: 8,044 - Updated: 4/29/2012 - Published: 9/22/2011 - Harry P., Fleur D.
A Study in Magic by Vixit reviews
When Albus Dumbledore shows up at Baker Street with strange demands and baby-filled picnic baskets, Sherlock Holmes is less than thrilled. Featuring Detective!Harry, Competent!Quirrell, and the world's only private consulting detective. No slash.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Sherlock Holmes - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 45,805 - Reviews: 755 - Favs: 1,857 - Follows: 1,251 - Updated: 3/15/2012 - Published: 4/28/2011 - Harry P., Sherlock Holmes - Complete
Unspeakable Things by Darth Marrs reviews
Formerly Defense for Two. Adopted from Perspicacity with permission. They thought Lockhart was a fraud. They were wrong; he was their guide into a world of danger, adventure, intrigue and other Unspeakable Things.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 60 - Words: 242,047 - Reviews: 2627 - Favs: 2,050 - Follows: 1,584 - Updated: 2/25/2012 - Published: 11/13/2010 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
The Judgement of Harry by Arpad Hrunta reviews
Pansy crashes Slughorn's party, and Harry must choose who the most beautiful is. One-shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,062 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 113 - Follows: 19 - Published: 12/23/2011 - Harry P., Luna L. - Complete
Scorpion's Disciple by nobody102 reviews
AU. Orochimaru's resignation from Akatsuki is more intense than in canon, resulting in a meeting between young Naruto and Sasori… Slow buildup. Last chapter is a summary, technically not complete.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 15 - Words: 149,612 - Reviews: 2256 - Favs: 4,644 - Follows: 3,281 - Updated: 10/17/2011 - Published: 6/25/2009 - Naruto U. - Complete
Roku Naruto by Anthurak The Chaos Lord reviews
AU. Naruto: Fool? Loudmoth? Not anymore. The night he learned Kage Bunshin, Naruto was changed. Witness the rise of a Naruto never seen before. MELON! Naruto/Hinata. No crossover. UBER OOCness Not a super-Naruto fic.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 127,088 - Reviews: 2193 - Favs: 3,263 - Follows: 2,946 - Updated: 9/26/2011 - Published: 4/4/2008 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
An Old and New World by Lens of Sanity reviews
Harry meets Bella and Sirius during the Azkaban Prologue… He comes out a little brassed off, and a whole lot apathetic… Then there was the Goblet and the Tournament… By fifth year he's a whole different animal… Heh well, the world wants its Hero…
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 37 - Words: 187,064 - Reviews: 717 - Favs: 1,317 - Follows: 633 - Updated: 9/17/2011 - Published: 3/26/2011 - Harry P., Fleur D. - Complete
Stone of Fire by Tigerman reviews
They say it only take one well placed stone to change the course of a river. What if a villager, at the start, labelled Naruto as a hero instead of a demon? Fate changed direction in a different, stronger course.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 166,319 - Reviews: 440 - Favs: 800 - Follows: 855 - Updated: 9/6/2011 - Published: 11/5/2007 - Naruto U.
It was a girl named Ginny by Tigerman reviews
Have been having trouble finding a good Harry/Ginny lately? That's why you should read this one. No magical love, or soul-mate thingy. This is a 'what if Ginny never had a crush, but everyone else said she did'
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 22,166 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 9/6/2011 - Published: 8/3/2011 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
A Hogwarts Christmas Story by Bobmin356 reviews
Christmas comes earlier than expected.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,602 - Reviews: 225 - Favs: 709 - Follows: 157 - Published: 8/8/2011 - Harry P., F. Flitwick - Complete
That Most Heinous of Crimes by Andrew Joshua Talon reviews
Someone else is thrust into the role of Team 7's sensei. Chaos ensues.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 51,345 - Reviews: 481 - Favs: 910 - Follows: 880 - Updated: 7/19/2011 - Published: 1/27/2010 - Naruto U., Anko M.
Harry Potter and the Siren's Song by hermyd reviews
When Lily's secret is revealed Harry runs away from home and meets a girl unlike any other. But she can never be with him, and he would never even suggest it. Things change drastically when his mother's legacy turns him into something no one expected.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 9 - Words: 90,229 - Reviews: 837 - Favs: 2,927 - Follows: 1,510 - Updated: 5/24/2011 - Published: 9/7/2010 - [Harry P., Daphne G.] - Complete
Aria of the Moonless Night by Hector Enix reviews
After accidentally waking up the No-Life King and offering him a way out of his eternal life, Naruto finds himself as the new No-Life King. As it turns out, Shinobi and Vampires have a lot in common. Semi-Dark, Vampire, super Naruto
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 75,919 - Reviews: 356 - Favs: 1,200 - Follows: 696 - Updated: 4/21/2011 - Published: 7/18/2010 - Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama - Complete
Gryffindors Never Die by ChipmonkOnSpeed reviews
Harry and Ron, both 58 and both alcoholics, are sent back to their 4th year and given a chance to do everything again. Will they be able to do it right this time? Or will history repeat itself? Cannon to Epilogue, then not so much...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 18 - Words: 74,394 - Reviews: 560 - Favs: 2,083 - Follows: 579 - Updated: 12/29/2010 - Published: 11/4/2010 - Harry P., Ron W. - Complete
Lord of Caer Azkaban by Rorschach's Blot reviews
A letter causes Harry to learn some surprising things about his lineage, a different twist on the usual Harry in Azkaban story line.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 34 - Words: 119,393 - Reviews: 4952 - Favs: 8,264 - Follows: 4,312 - Updated: 12/14/2010 - Published: 10/24/2004 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Returning the Pain by insomaniac1 reviews
Beating Narutoverse clichés to death so you don't have to. /srsly.\ Looking for a good story to read? Me, too. In the interim, here's a bunch of crack one-shots to help kill some time.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 109 - Words: 75,111 - Reviews: 973 - Favs: 345 - Follows: 197 - Updated: 10/8/2010 - Published: 5/29/2010 - Naruto U.
Love Impossible by Advi reviews
Miroku and Shippou walk into a cave only to find Kagome and Sesshoumaru emerging from under a white sheet, their bodies bare. This oneshot chronicles the events the night before. Read to find out what happened.
Inuyasha - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 19,114 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 249 - Follows: 29 - Published: 9/19/2010 - Sesshomaru, Kagome H. - Complete
Beginning of a New Life by rlpj4 reviews
AU. After the events of fourth year, Harry does not return to Privet Drive. He, with the help of Gringotts, decides to travel and learn as much as he can to help him in the fight against Voldemort. Super!Harry, Time-Travel!Harry
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 95,729 - Reviews: 791 - Favs: 3,298 - Follows: 1,493 - Updated: 7/27/2010 - Published: 6/24/2009 - Harry P., Daphne G. - Complete
Cold as ice by CeresRose's Kitsune reviews
not my story, just read you see if you like it
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 55,654 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 18 - Published: 7/23/2010 - Luna L., Harry P. - Complete
Harry Potter and The Truth by KennethRose reviews
Not HBP or DH compliant. Harry finds out something that tears his world apart at the beginning of his sixth year; how will he cope with the truth? Follow Harry through love, betrayal, deception and friendship in the ultimate fight against the Dark.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 57,541 - Reviews: 167 - Favs: 717 - Follows: 217 - Updated: 7/17/2010 - Published: 7/12/2010 - Harry P., Luna L. - Complete
Poison Pen by GenkaiFan reviews
Harry has had enough of seeing his reputation shredded in the Daily Prophet and decides to do something about it. Only he decides to embrace his Slytherin side to rectify matters.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 74,506 - Reviews: 8080 - Favs: 15,146 - Follows: 6,475 - Updated: 6/21/2010 - Published: 12/3/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
Colder than Ice by Sin of Existence by SenjuAmidamaru reviews
This story was written by Sin of Existence. It's for readers. (Previous Cold as Ice) Not my work, people. :D Rating - M Profanity, Sexual innuendo, violence.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 51,793 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 30 - Published: 5/15/2010 - Harry P., Luna L., OC - Complete
The Marriage Contracts Redux by Clell65619 reviews
A rewrite of 'Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts' done to improve some of the story elements, cut down on the Weasley bashing, and generally make a bit more sense. The changes are minor, but I believe make for a better story.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 70,364 - Reviews: 318 - Favs: 1,920 - Follows: 454 - Published: 3/22/2010 - Harry P., Daphne G. - Complete
A Collection of Harmonious OneShots by Seel'vor reviews
My contribution to the "Rampant Plot Bunny" files... H/Hr, rating for language
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 93,272 - Reviews: 639 - Favs: 858 - Follows: 604 - Updated: 3/17/2010 - Published: 1/9/2009 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Partners by muggledad reviews
Having the right partner can make life much smoother. The right persons can complement each other's strengths and support each other's weakness. Love really does make the world go 'round, especially with a Dark Lord after your blood. HP/DG
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 166,103 - Reviews: 1250 - Favs: 3,860 - Follows: 1,868 - Updated: 1/31/2010 - Published: 4/22/2009 - [Harry P., Daphne G.] [Neville L., Susan B.] - Complete
What Would Slytherin Harry Do? by Big D on a Diet reviews
An ongoing series of one shot stories exploring how Slytherin!Harry would have handled key moments from the books. Events will appear out of order, so don't be surprised if it jumps around. Small but important edit made to Chapter Five
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 44,417 - Reviews: 577 - Favs: 2,665 - Follows: 2,087 - Updated: 1/21/2010 - Published: 5/27/2007 - Harry P.
LoZ The Legacy of Myriad by GieGie reviews
Two children bound by fate will find both the truth of their pasts and the direction of their futures with the awakening of a powerful sage named Myriad. More information in the prologue chapter! Adult Content - LinkxZelda - R&R and enjoy!
Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 75 - Words: 376,076 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 1/2/2010 - Published: 10/29/2009 - Link, Zelda - Complete
RuneMaster by Tigerman reviews
In third year, Harry decided to quit Divination, following Hermione. Having to take a substitute course, he end up choosing Ancient Runes and find himself to be quite gifted. Smart Harry. Slightly manipulative. Rated M for later subjects and language.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 149,721 - Reviews: 3209 - Favs: 10,068 - Follows: 4,356 - Updated: 12/30/2009 - Published: 5/21/2009 - Harry P., Luna L. - Complete
Earl of the North by Lord Silvere reviews
Harry is framed for the mass murder of Muggles after he deals Voldemort a stunning blow. He is sent to Azkaban where he and his cell mate, Bellatrix Black, begin to discover Harry's heritage and his potential power as they plot to escape.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 50 - Words: 187,938 - Reviews: 4282 - Favs: 6,449 - Follows: 3,284 - Updated: 11/14/2009 - Published: 1/6/2005 - Harry P., Bellatrix L. - Complete
Splintered Masks by Timballisto reviews
Harry descovers and undeciferable book withing which a blue ocarina is hidden. Playing the instrument has unforseeable effects, such as splitting his soul into wearable masks. GOF fic HPxLoz Slight Au Oneshot
Crossover - Legend of Zelda & Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,784 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 49 - Published: 10/16/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
Achieving Clarity by PerfesserN reviews
Luna sees an opportunity to help Harry in his fight against Voldemort and takes the initiative. A Harry/Hermione/Luna story from Luna's POV
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 56,944 - Reviews: 486 - Favs: 1,461 - Follows: 554 - Updated: 6/17/2009 - Published: 3/31/2009 - Harry P., Luna L. - Complete
The Lie I've Lived by jbern reviews
Not all of James died that night. Not all of Harry lived. The Triwizard Tournament as it should have been and a hero discovering who he really wants to be.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 234,571 - Reviews: 4207 - Favs: 8,173 - Follows: 3,738 - Updated: 5/28/2009 - Published: 2/9/2007 - Harry P., Fleur D. - Complete
Naruto Prince of Thieves by EroSlackerMicha reviews
Taken away from the leaf at the age of five by a man called Gambit, Naruto returns at age 16. What kind of Naruto will it be? X-man? Ninja?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 39 - Words: 91,914 - Reviews: 1428 - Favs: 1,959 - Follows: 1,381 - Updated: 5/17/2009 - Published: 4/1/2008 - Naruto U., Ino Y. - Complete
What a Bunch of Nonjon by nonjon reviews
An unrelated series of ficlets, drabbles, one-shots, unfinished and abandoned fics from primarily the Harry Potter fandom and a couple others. This is like a miscellaneous folder or a random fic dump. Read at your own risk.
Misc. Books - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 48,446 - Reviews: 495 - Favs: 377 - Follows: 259 - Updated: 4/27/2009 - Published: 12/27/2008
An Uzumaki Amongst the Dunes by pudgypudge reviews
Having been denied his birthright by the council of Konoha, Naruto forsakes the Leaf Village. He leaves for what he hopes is a better life among the shinobi of Suna, taking his family's scrolls and heirlooms with him.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 29 - Words: 172,558 - Reviews: 4143 - Favs: 6,425 - Follows: 3,231 - Updated: 3/31/2009 - Published: 12/28/2007 - Naruto U., Temari - Complete
Ascension of the Kitsune by Wandering Maverick reviews
Naruto finds out the horrible truth about his family, leading him to the Kyuubi. Watch as the elemental nations and Konoha are rocked to their very foundations by Naruto who has been under the tutelage of the most powerful bijuu in the world.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 431,768 - Reviews: 1732 - Favs: 3,899 - Follows: 1,764 - Updated: 3/28/2009 - Published: 1/1/2009 - Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama - Complete
The Enemy of My Enemy by Katsuhiro reviews
"Of all the conflicts recorded in the latter stages of the Human-Covenant War, perhaps one of the most interesting was that which occured on the Outer Colony Crassus, c.Nov.2552. Interesting, and with an entirely unexpected outcome.." ONI Case-File 428/
Halo - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 31 - Words: 115,360 - Reviews: 228 - Favs: 497 - Follows: 155 - Updated: 3/21/2009 - Published: 6/6/2008 - Complete
Dark Lord Potter Part 1 by The Santi reviews
Harry Potter has never known love or even kindness until he is rescued from his relatives by a pair of witches. How will the most talented wizard of his generation respond to those who have mistreated him? AU! Young!Tonks. Early chapters are being edited.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 273,098 - Reviews: 2439 - Favs: 3,298 - Follows: 2,213 - Updated: 2/15/2009 - Published: 3/28/2007 - Harry P., N. Tonks - Complete
Humanity Triumphant by PMOHWinters reviews
An adaptation of "Twas the Night Before Christmas", dedicated to the countless Marines who gave their lives in the defense of Humanity.
Halo - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 478 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/25/2008 - Complete
Harry Potter Mercenary by DobbyElfLord reviews
Harry Potter is sent to prision for a crime he did commit. Now they need their hero back but he's lost all interest in saving them. They threw him away and now its going to cost them. Note rating! One-shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 27,402 - Reviews: 767 - Favs: 5,132 - Follows: 1,014 - Published: 9/17/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
Dark Father by darwick reviews
This is the note they found on Harry’s bed the day he went missing. Some thought it was a suicide note, but the ones who knew him best knew it for what it was; a goodbye letter.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 636 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 224 - Follows: 35 - Published: 9/1/2008 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Out of Azkaban by Laume reviews
Formerly on the account of Luke Kenobi. Written for the Third Floor Corridor Cliche Contest. Harry and Snape have been sent to Azkaban on false charges. Once out, they are not what the Order expects.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 15,368 - Reviews: 425 - Favs: 1,787 - Follows: 420 - Updated: 7/29/2008 - Published: 6/17/2008 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
A Black Comedy by nonjon reviews
COMPLETE. Two years after defeating Voldemort, Harry falls into an alternate dimension with his godfather. Together, they embark on a new life filled with drunken debauchery, thievery, and generally antagonizing all their old family, friends, and enemies.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 31 - Words: 246,320 - Reviews: 5359 - Favs: 9,926 - Follows: 2,985 - Updated: 4/7/2008 - Published: 2/18/2007 - Complete
Almost a Squib by BajaB reviews
What if Vernon and Petunia were even more successfull in 'beating all that nonsense' out of Harry? A silly AU story of a nonpowerful, but cunning, Harry.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 46,899 - Reviews: 974 - Favs: 2,980 - Follows: 628 - Updated: 1/18/2008 - Published: 11/11/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
Uzumaki's Gift by muishiki reviews
Complete one shot. At the end of Naruto's life, he offers the only thing that matters to his best friend. A second chance.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,415 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 595 - Follows: 124 - Published: 6/23/2007 - Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama - Complete
Family Issue by PerfesserN reviews
Bellatrix Lestrange is visiting Harry by night, it is not for their mutual pleasure, the Dark Lord has plans for the Issue of his Enemy. What she gets is completely unexpected.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 39 - Words: 101,451 - Reviews: 349 - Favs: 964 - Follows: 303 - Updated: 5/2/2007 - Published: 2/13/2007 - Harry P., Bellatrix L. - Complete
Professor Potter's Sorting Hat Song by TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel reviews
Every year a member of the Hogwarts staff has to write a Sorting Song for the Sorting Hat. Perhaps they shouldn’t have chosen Harry. Oneshot. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,144 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 758 - Follows: 126 - Published: 2/22/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
Browncoat, Green Eyes by nonjon reviews
COMPLETE. Firefly: :Harry Potter crossover Post Serenity. Two years have passed since the secret of the planet Miranda got broadcast across the whole 'verse in 2518. The crew of Serenity finally hires a new pilot, but he's a bit peculiar.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Firefly - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 39 - Words: 298,538 - Reviews: 4178 - Favs: 6,052 - Follows: 1,627 - Updated: 11/12/2006 - Published: 3/23/2006 - Harry P., River - Complete
Three Good Reasons by Lisse reviews
Snapshots of three young shinobi. In another time and place, this would be magic.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 923 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 255 - Follows: 22 - Published: 9/17/2006 - Complete
Harry Potter And The Summer Of Change by lorddwar reviews
COMPLETE Edit in process. PostOOTP, Very Little of HBP. Harry returns to Privet Drive and Tonks helps him become the man and hero he must be to survive. HONKS. Action, Violence, Language and Sexual Situations
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 332,503 - Reviews: 2503 - Favs: 6,271 - Follows: 2,416 - Updated: 5/13/2006 - Published: 9/5/2005 - Harry P., N. Tonks - Complete
Dimension Hopping for Beginners by nonjon reviews
COMPLETE. In the heat of the battle, he swore a blood oath to defeat Voldemort in every form. But when you factor in his understanding and abilities to travel to alternate dimensions, it presented the sort of problem only a Harry Potter could have.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 56,035 - Reviews: 1044 - Favs: 2,390 - Follows: 745 - Updated: 3/13/2006 - Published: 3/4/2006 - Harry P. - Complete
Never Cut Twice by shadowmaster62 reviews
[Complete!]After failing to save Sasuke, Naruto escapes the village. Now alone, on the run, and wielding the sword of the Demon of the Mist, Naruto tries to rebuild his life as a ninja. NarutoTemari pairing [Last Chapter: Promises Kept]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 33 - Words: 133,009 - Reviews: 3166 - Favs: 5,235 - Follows: 1,631 - Updated: 11/10/2005 - Published: 3/5/2005 - Naruto U., Temari - Complete
The Power The Dark Lord Knows Of by Finbar reviews
A very silly little one shot where Harry lets Voldemort know about the Power he isnt supposed to know about...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,553 - Reviews: 338 - Favs: 850 - Follows: 175 - Published: 4/4/2005 - Harry P. - Complete
Legend of Zelda: The Return by Rose Zemlya reviews
Takes place after OoT with the assumption that Link lost all of his memories of the events in the game when Zelda sent him back in time. COMPLETE
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 42 - Words: 232,633 - Reviews: 1535 - Favs: 1,891 - Follows: 330 - Updated: 10/31/2003 - Published: 7/7/2001 - Link, Zelda - Complete
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Unsung reviews
One surprise on top of another, and now this... tragedy... that must remain unsung. No time to mourn. What's Lilith's favorite saying? Right. "No rest for the wicked." / This is a narrative of the end of the mission "Where Angels Fear to Tread".
Borderlands - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,145 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Published: 5/3/2014 - Guardian Angel, Gaige - Complete
Alastor's Dragon Age Shorts reviews
Here's my collection of Dragon Age II one-shots. Feel free to use any of the ideas here so long as you give credit where due and let me know about it. Enjoy.
Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 710 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9/3/2012
Alastor's Harry Potter Shorts reviews
This is a collection of all of my Harry Potter one-shots. Anyone may use these ideas to write a full story if they let me know and give me credit for my ideas. Enjoy.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,555 - Reviews: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/15/2012 - Published: 9/5/2011 - Harry P.
Alastor's Naruto Shorts
This contains all of my Naruto one-shots. You can use the ideas to write your own story, but please give credit for the idea and let me know. Enjoy.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 969 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/15/2012 - Published: 8/14/2012 - Naruto U.