An Ode To My Mom(she's sitting next to me, laughing)-
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
1) I NEED TO TELL YOU A SECRET (LO0K AT #5)
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
You say Twilight
I say Harry Potter
You say vampires
I say wizards
You say Jacob Black
I say Sirus Black
You say Team Edward
I say Team Harry
You say Robert Pattison
I say is "Is Cedric Diggory"
You say Taylor Lautner is Hot
I say Rupert Grint is HOTTER
You say Bella and Edward are the perfect dream couple
I say that's Ron and Hermione
You say Edward
I say Harry now STUPEFY!
I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book.
Female come backs
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man: Is this seat empty?
Man: Your place or mine?
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Some quotes and stuff
''I would if I could but I can't so I won't'' – person
''Forgive your enemies but never forget their names'' - Some old U.S president
''I would tell you but then I would have to kill you, and we don't want that, do we?'' - Person
"Be nice to your enemies, it might just confuse them." - Bumper Sticker
"When life gives you lemons, make grape-juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it" - Bumper sticker
"Gods last name is not damn it!" - Bumper sticker
"People think I must be a very strange person. This is not correct. I have the heart of a small boy...It is in a glass jar on my desk." - Stephen King
-“That’s for me to know, and for you to ignore.”
-“I got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.” (Family guy)
-"That would be so cool if it weren't about to hurt us,"
-"The voices in my head might not be real, but they have some very good ideas,"
-"Randomness is the base of conversation."
-"I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off."
-“Death is Life's way of telling you, 'You're fired!'”
-“Save the Earth! It's the only planet with chocolate!”
-"I 'could' act like a normal person, but where's the fun in that?" (Yes where is the fun in that?)
-"I like you; when I take over the world, your death will be quick and painless."
-“You guys have fun , me and my man skirt are off!”
-“Well, butter my rump and call me toast!”
-“A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.”
-"Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.”
-“Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.”
-“Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!”(that is what I live by on)
-“Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your children.”
-“I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it.”
-“I've run out of sick days, so I'm calling in dead!”
-“Earth First. We'll screw up the other planets later.”
-“Growing old is inevitable/mandatory. Growing up is optional.”
-“Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.”
-“Few women admit their age ... Fewer men act theirs.”
-“You have the right to remain silent. So please SHUT UP.”
-“Life is a waste of time , time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.”
-“It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.” - (True, very true)
-“Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?”
-"You got romantic advice from whores?" (a fiction)
- "No one ever committed suicide while reading a good book, but many have tried while trying to write one." -Robert Byrne
- "If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child." -Linda Sunshine
-"When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion." --Abraham Lincoln
- "Fear is only a four letter word." -Jeff Hardy
-“As we grow as unique persons, we learn to respect the uniqueness of others.” - Robert H. Schuller
-Whoever said nothing is impossible obviously never tried to slam a revolving door shut.
-A good friend bails you out of jail, a best friend is sitting next to you saying " Man, that was so awesome!"
-I'm not "Anti-Bush" I'm "Pro-Intelligence"
-Remember: A stranger is just a friend you haven't met... or a rapist, take a chance!
-Millions of people say they can do something. One out of a million actually accomplishes it.
-Smile to yourself, people will wonder what you’re up to.
-“We are all artists when we are children, the problem is remaining an artist as we grow up”
-"If mad, count to ten...If really mad, swear."
-"I’m sorry, it’s just it’s such a pretty boat – ship." Captain Jack Sparrow
-"Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate." Captain Jack Sparrow
-"She’s safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our words really except for Elizabeth who is, in fact, a woman." Captain Jack Sparrow
-" If you were waiting for the opportune moment…that was it ." Captain Jack Sparrow
-"Don't touch my dirt."- Captain Jack Sparrow
-"I have every faith in your reconciliatory navigational skills, Master Gibbs, now where is that monkey? I want to shoot something."
-“If I told you all my problems, you’d call the nice men with white jackets,"
-Suichi blinked, “Wait, I lost to a dead guy?” (from a fiction)
-Since when did people invent chuckling pillows? WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD MAKE CHUCKLING PILLOWS . Now that I think of it... WHY THE HELL WOULD I BUY ONE IN THE FIRST PLACE (from a fiction)
-Person-who-doesn't-go-to-my-school: What is wrong with you?!
-Kurama wasn’t stupid - he could detect trouble when it came with pom-poms to dance a cheer. (from a fiction)
-"So tell me. What’s it like living in a constant haze of stupidity?" ( from a fiction)
-Lucci wanted to rip it off the wall and possibly stomp on it, but he didn’t. He had composure. He had dignity. He had a pigeon on his shoulder sipping tea from a tiny teacup. ( from a fiction)
-" When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets. " (so painfully true)
-"Last night, I laid in bed looking up at the stars and thought to myself, 'Where the hell is the ceiling?'"
-"Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes."
-“Overreacting? My SISTER is going to get married to a dull-witted human with the IQ of an over cooked mashed potato! Don’t tell me to calm down! She’d be better off marrying your Death Tree!”
-"When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask for something useful instead."
-“Kids were easy to deal with once you realized one important fact. Regardless of where they were from or who their parents were, every child was born with a crude, simple morality that boiled down to: "I want it, I want it now, give it to me now, or I will do something horrible."
In other words, kids were pirates.”
-"Desperation is the raw material of drastic change. Only those who can leave behind everything they have ever believed in can hope to escape"- William S. Burroughs
~ If it’s not your cup of tea, then DON'T DRINK THE DAMN TEA.
~ Insecurities are about as useful as putting the pin back in the grenade.
~ The physiology exam was a piece of cake – which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
~ That which does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast . . .
~ Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.
~ Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
~ Everyone has a photographic memory... some just don't have any film.
~ Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
~ I know karate, kung-fu, and 47 other dangerous words.
~ Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
~ Don't regret doing things; regret getting caught.
~ People are like slinkies --Basically useless and yet it's so amusing to watch them fall down stairs.
Boys are like slinkies; practically useless, and yet it is SO amusing to watch them fall down the stairs!!
Boys are like trees - they take 50yrs to grow up.
Excuse me. Have you seen my mind? I think I've lost it...
My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
If you cried during/after reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, copy this to your profile
If you're in denial over Tonks and Lupins death's copy and paste this into your profile.
If you loved DH, HBP, OotP, GoF, PoA, CoS, and SS/PS, and know what all those initials stand for, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that Harry/Hermione shippers are delusional (especially if they have read books 4-7, and still believe in that pairing), copy this into your profile.
If you think that Hermione/Snape shippers are cuckoo for Coca Puffs and absolutely disgusting, copy this onto your profile
If you cried when Fred Weasley died (in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows), and not afraid to admit it, copy, paste this on your profile.
If you cried when Dobby died (in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows), copy and paste this into your profile
If you want J.K.R. to make a series about the Marauders, copy this into your profile.
If you love Harry Potter, copy this into your profile.
If you make random Harry Potter references to your friends to see if they get them (they never do) put this in your profile.
If you love the Marauders AND think they are THE best, copy this into your profile.
If you liked Snape after Deathy Hallows copy and paste this in your profile.
If you always mentally make the Sirius "serious" pun whenever somebody says, "I'm serious!" copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are a Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, Remus/Tonks shipper and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you read Deathly Hallows in under a week, copy and paste this
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
A moment of silence.
Harry potter oath
I promise to remember Sirius,
when someone is false accused.
And I promise to remember the Marauders
When pranks make everyone amused.
I promise to remember Hagrid
when someone sees the beauty underneath,
and I promise to remember George
when loosing a twin brings great grief
I promise to remember Dumbledore
when someone is wise with great age,
and I promise to remember Snape
when teasing gives me great rage.
I promise to remember Lily Potter,
when there is a sacrifice for love.
and I promise to remember Draco,
When I give in and just have enough
Oh I promise keep Hogwarts in my heart,
for I will love it forever even if we are worlds apart.
In my mind, my obsession will forever grow.
For the harry potter books I will always know.
I, taniacecilia do solemnly swear to review all the fics I read,
Regardless of the number of reviews it has, its age, or anything else.
I have joined the Review Revolution.
Weird yet amusing Facts...
1.) Half of all Americans over the age of 55 have no teeth.
2.) You have no sense of smell when you are sleeping.
3.) In ancient Japan, public contests were held to see who could fart the loudest and longest!
4.) A sneeze can travel as fast as 100 miles per hour.
5.) The word 'gymnasium' comes from the Greek word gymnazein which means 'to exercise naked.'
6.) 28.1 of people pee in the pool!
7.) It is physically impossible to touch your elbow with your tongue
8.) Pearls melt in vinegar.
9.) Sales of Rolaids, Alka-Seltzer, and Tums jump 20% in December... (Gee I wonder why...)
10.) About 9 out 10 people have already tried to lick their elbow.
11.) 10 out of 10 people are currently laughing at their or others stupidity.
12.) 10 out of 10 are currently thinking about posting this in their profile too.
When life give you lemons, shut up and eat your damn lemons
I was going to kill the ugliest person alive but then i thought I'd let you live one more day
Smile. It makes the world wonder what you're up to.
There are two things that are infinite. The universe and human stupidity. And I'm not so sure about the universe.
Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes.
Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is.