Poll: who should i save in the battle of hogwarts in my story 'the price we pay? Vote Now!
Author has written 23 stories for Harry Potter, Enchanted, and Hunger Games.
i'm 16 and i love to write fanfiction. if i could chose my hogwarts house it would be either slytherin or gryfindor though the sorting hat says i dont belong in slytheirn at all i sometimes like being evil. though i would probably want to be in ravenclaw rather then hufflepuff - nothing against hufflepuffs its just not my favorite house. (though that probably has something to do with the fact that when all i wanted was gryfindor i kept getting hufflepuff)
ps. i am also a crazed doctor who fanatic. so watch out.
You scored 4% Slytherin, 20% Ravenclaw, 64% Gryffindor, and 36% Hufflepuff!
please read and review my storys i have worked really hard on them.
the list of how to get your own seat on an airplane was originated here writen entirely by me and my grammy.
Ok so the rules for my SYOT are simple. Submit your tributes only through PM, I will not accept them through reviews. I have the right to veto any Marysues/garystues that come my way, also anyone super unrealistic. So please try to make your people interesting but not too over the top.
Use the form I give you and that form only, unless there is anything else super important that I missed. Answer all questons as throughoughly as possible and make it interesting to read. You may submit one district only, they have to be siblings and yes district 13 is included, also they have to be at least 6. If you only submit one character I will have someone else who wants to create their sibling.
UPDATE: the siblings dont have to be a boy and girl pair, it could be two boys or two girls and they can be adults. so in theory there could be 70 year old identical twin boys. please be creative and dont just put teenage boy and girl siblings.
To ensure that you have read my rules and intend to actually follow them please put the word ‘Sombrero’ in the password portion of the form.
Age: (6 and up)
District (give two just in case):
Family (give names, ages and a brief description):
Details for Pre-Arena Time
Reaction to QQ:
Reaction to being reaped/siblings being reaped:
Who comes to goodbyes:
Training Strategy & Performance Strategy:
Training Score (be realistic):
Anything else about their time in the Capitol:
Details for the Arena
Die in the Bloodbath?:
Strategy for the Cornucopia:
Strategy for the Arena:
Relationships? (romantic or not):
Preferred Weapon(s) (can be up to 3):
Weaknesses (at least 2):
Strengths (at the most 4):
Preferred Death (that sounds sadistic):
Why should YOUR tribute win?:
District One: Luxury Items
District Two: Masonry
tribute 1: Nick Foulston 16 (tculler310)
tribute 2: Casey Foulston 21 (tculler310)
District Three: Electronics
District Four: Fishing
tribute 1: Luther Pygmy 17 (LovePeaceHugs)
tribute 2: Farrah Pygmy 15 (LovePeaceHugs)
District Five: Power
District Six: Transport
District Seven: Lumber
District Eight: Textiles
District Nine: Grain
District Ten: Livestock
District Eleven: Agriculture
District Twelve: Mining
tribute 1: RESERVED
tribute 2: RESERVED
District Thirteen: Graphite
1. You have debates over the best Doctor with other obsessed friends.
2. You own a replica Sonic Screwdriver, and attempt to unlock doors with it.
3. You make the sound of the SS while doing this, and quickly unlock the door yourself, telling yourself it worked.
4. You know what Time Lord Rock is, and feel a sense of pride about this.
5. You think Chameleon Circuit is the best band in the world.
6. You’ve written a Time Lord Rock song.
7. You claim your refrigerator is a TARDIS with a broken Chameleon Circuit.
8. You’re terrified of gas masks and angel statues.
9. Also people who repeat what you say, and silent libraries.
10. You look around wildly for the TARDIS whenever you see a flash of blue light.
11. You randomly quote The Doctor, successfully scaring family and/or friends who have no idea what you’re talking about.
12. You’re convinced you’re a Time Lord, and search for a fob watch in order to regain your lost identity.
13. You make complicated essays on the subject of the best companion.
14. You were genuinely disappointed when you found out you couldn’t major in jiggery pokery.
15. You search the town for blue police boxes.
16. You make sure the mannequins don’t move in clothing stores.
17. You ask people to refer to you as “the Doctor”.
18. You’d be alright with being abducted by aliens, because the Doctor would save you and you’d become his next companion.
19. You debate over what you would say if a Cyberman asked if you'd submit to the upgrading program.
20. You suspect that Barty Crouch Jr. in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is the Doctor undercover to fight the alien Voldemort.
21. You cried at the end of “Doomsday”.
22. You’re genuinely confused when your attempt at using psychic paper doesn’t work.
23. You always spell Raxacoricofallapatorius correctly, and know what species lives there.
24. You’ve watched ‘The Big Bang 2’ so many times, it isn’t confusing anymore.
25. You plan on going as a Cyberman, Dalek, or the Doctor for Halloween.
26. You now find all the Easter eggs on DVDs in hopes of finding a message from the Doctor.
27. You stare down angel statues whenever you see them, and possibly warn others not to blink.
28. You actually pay attention in science class.
29. You search through history books for some mention of a doctor with a blue box.
30. Your answer in Clue is the wasp in the library with the lead piping.
31. You know the history behind Luke, K9, and Mr. Smith.
32. You thought for sure Master/Doctor was canon, and were very confused when it wasn’t confirmed.
33. You know the names of even minor characters.
34. You’ve gone on a mission to become more like the Doctor, even having one of your friends as your companion.
35. You listen closely for a beat of four drums in your head.
36. You ask your family and friends some questions occasionally, in case they were skinned for use of the Slitheen family.
37. You search in mirrors for a girl with a red balloon that isn’t behind you.
38. You’re scared of scarecrows in fields.
39. If you lose the instructions to something, you say you disagreed with them, and threw them into a supernova.
40. When you become bored, you spend your time by constructing a TARDIS out of Lego pieces.
41. You had a thought that the professor was The Master in “Utopia”, and were pleased when you saw you were correct.
42. You’d be incredibly scared if there were such a thing as Satellite 5.
43. You shout Exterminate at people who you don’t like, possibly waving around a plunger or egg beater. 44. You refuse to vote for anyone named Harold Saxon.
45. You’ve come up with diseases with the names of Doctor Who characters. Bonus points if Doctoritis is chronic winning.
46. You search for people named John Smith in hopes of meeting the Doctor.
47. You stare at anyone who is drumming their fingers on a table with a beat of four.
48. You know who acted as all of the characters.
49. You stare into your fireplace, hoping to see the Doctor on the other side.
50. You would go to Gallifrey, if it wasn’t for the Time Lock.
51. You understand what ‘Dimensionally transcendental’ means.
52. You want a computer like Mr. Smith to continue the Doctor’s work on earth.
53. You’re terrified of ghosts in case they’re Cybermen coming from the Void.
54. You want the opening theme on your iPod. 55. Over half the analogies you make are Doctor Who related.
56. You spend half an hour talking with your friend about how you two are the twelfth Doctor and his companion.
57. CHARLIE FOR TWELFTH DOCTOR…enough said. 58. You’ve memorized the code to deactivate the Cybermen’s emotion inhibitor.
59. You were extremely excited when you realized you have a flashlight that looks vaguely like the Sonic Screwdriver.
60. You wish the movie ‘Titanic’ was more like ‘Voyage of the Damned’.
61. Someone makes the emoticon ‘-_-’ and you scream “FACE OF BOE!”
62. You spend several minutes making the TARDIS online with letters and symbols.
63. You own one or more cutouts of the characters.
64. You can quote entire scenes.
65. You tried fish custard just because of the Eleventh Doctor.
66. Your favourite fruit is a banana.
67. You’ve written complicated essays comparing the Doctors.
68. You can name all of the Doctors companions.
69. Whenever someone mentions the police, you think of the Judoon.
70. You shout Exterminate! at unwanted work.
71. You find that all your random doodling on scraps of paper turn out to be Daleks, or the TARDIS.
72. You’re very disappointed when you look at a screwdriver, as it is not sonic enough.
73. You believe in the coolness of fezzes. 74. You’re incredibly frightened of cracks in your wall.
75. You spoiled half of Doctor Who after Doomsday to make yourself feel better about Rose leaving.
76. You write ‘Bad Wolf’ everywhere.
77. You spent several hours trying to understand the epic win that was ‘Last of the Time Lords’.
78. You wish you lived on Gallifrey.
79. You sing Time Lord Rock loudly and wonder when people stare.
80. You say ‘Team Dalek’ in response to ‘Team Edward or Jacob?’ questions.
81. You study pictures of the Empire State Building to look for Dalekanium at the top.
82. You’re afraid to answer phones in case the person asks if you’re their mummy.
83. You refuse to get a GPS incase the Sontarans plan to take over Earth.
84. You’re scared of someone eating spaghetti out of the corner of your eye, because they look like an Ood.
85. You don’t trust the people dressed up as Santa for Christmas.
86. Or Christmas trees.
87. You wonder if anything terrible will happen in England on Christmas Day
88. You look in the phone book for anyone named Sally Sparrow.
89. You bought a fez.
90. Because they’re cool.
91. You’re terrified of getting the gas at the dentist because of the gas mask.
92. You sigh at all the things the human race is sending into space, thinking they’re drawing too much attention to theirselves.
93. You idly wonder if there are still pig-humans living under New York.
94. You’ve prepared a speech in case of an alien invasion about Earth being a Level 5 planet.
95. You wonder if our sun is sentient.
96. You wonder if there was ever a headmaster of an English school named John Smith.
97. You want to go to England for Christmas to witness the next alien invasion.
98. You imagine time as one big ball of wibbley-wobbley, timey-wimey stuff.
99. You named a trampoline Cassandra.
100. You stared at this list in wonder about how close it was to your life.
How to get your own seat on an airplane
1. Pass out bubble blowers to everyone on the plane and insist they blow bubbles.
2. find out the name of the passenger next to you, then go up to the cockpit and say over the loud speaker that it is that persons birthday and have everyone sing happy birthday to them (make sure its not their birthday)
3. On an overnight flight when everyone is sleeping set your alarm to go off every five minutes.
4. walk onto the plane quickly and suspiciously without talking to anyone, then when someone sits down next to you whisper frantically ‘hide me I cant let them know I here!’
5. When you arrive on the plane pull down oxygen thingies from the ceiling and hyperventilate into them, when someone asks what you are doing, tell them in a falsely scared voice that you are terrified of planes and don’t want to die for lack of oxygen.
6. When the flight attendants come around ask for ice tea ‘without the ice’
7. bring a whoopee cushion and when it farts wave your arms and say ‘ewww!’ pretending it was the person next to you.
8. Stare at the person next to you for a while, when they notice say randomly ‘I have a pet rock, wanna see him?’
9. When taking off and landing pretend that you are on a roller-coaster and do all the sound effects with you arms in the air.
10. When looking at the window repeatedly tap your neighbor on the shoulder to show them the shape you found in the cloud or the tiny bus on the road if you are close to the ground. (Make sure its not there when they look and say ‘oops I guess you missed it’)
11. Take a dog leash and pretend you have a dog, when you go to the restroom asks the passenger next to you to watch him.
12. or a stuffed dog.
13. Or ask them to watch your pet rock.
14. Offer someone a mint and hold out the box with no mints in it, when they ask where the mints are you say ‘but they’re right here’ looking extremely confused while you pretend to take a mint and eat it.
15. When you get your bag of pretzels eat them very obviously, then when the flight attendants come around again ask for another bag exclaiming loudly that your bag was empty. Repeat the process.
16. when the passenger next to you gets their drink pull out a straw and stick it in, when they look at you strangely or ask what you are doing respond ‘oh you don’t mind sharing do you?’
17. Repeatedly go to the bathroom and change your clothes every five minutes
18. When you’re on a plane in the summer from a hot place wear a heavy trench coat with the pockets full of random stuff, when someone asks you why you don't take it off, respond with ‘why? Who told you what I was hiding?’
19. Bring a large bag, when everyone is seated pull out invitations to an on plane party, once all the invitations are out pass out party hats and blowers.
20. When the flight attendants come around pull out shampoo and conditioner, when they ask you if you would like anything say ‘yes I would like lots of water’ when they bring it start pouring it on your head and lathering your hair with the shampoo, (don't forget to sing a song in the shower)
21. Have a friend and you sit on either side of someone who is obviously very busy, and then have a shouted conversation over the top of them.
22. Ask the person in-between you to pass things like books and crackers to the other person when you can easily reach yourself.
23. If the busy person asks if you would like to sit next to each other say ‘oh no we don't mind shouting’
24. Bring heat able rice pillows and ask the flight attendant to heat them in the microwave for you.
25. Or bring cookie dough
26. Or microwave popcorn
27. Go to the bathroom and fill water balloons, then pass them out and insist everyone has a water balloon fight
28. before you fly learn how to throw your voice, then say things to people like ‘only one bag of pretzels’ so the passengers and flight attendants don't know you’re the one talking.
29. Attempt to lead a game of musical chairs.
30. Start a fashion show up the isle of the plane; - bring a megaphone so no one misses it.
31. Use the emergency phone for personal calls.
32. Save the middle seat for your imaginary friend Casper, talk to him the whole way
34. Bring a balloon named Chester and pretend he is a passenger
35. Set up bowling pins down the isle and practice your bowling
Finally – print out copies and pass along to the other people on the plane as they leave
This list originated from twinesstar, please copy and paste and add at least two more ways to get your own seat on an airplane.
Ways to Annoy a Non-Harry Potter Fan!
1. Relate everything they say to the Harry Potter books and/or movies.
2. Say they look like a Harry Potter character of the opposite gender.
3. Quote Dobby.
4. Hog the computer 24/7 while logged onto MuggleNet.
5. Read out loud to them whenever they can't get away from you (Example: When in a car or an elevator). If you don't have a book with you, recite from memory.
6. Give them Harry Potter merchandise for their birthday and Christmas and demand that they keep it and treasure it forever.
7. Rewrite their favorite song with Harry Potter lyrics and sing it constantly.
8. Crowd their inbox with Harry Potter related e-mail and make sure the subjects are misleading.
9. Start singing a Sorting Hat song at random moments, pretend to forget what comes next, and ask if they know in a very loud voice.
10. Make them play Quidditch with you.
11. Give all of their friends Harry Potter related nicknames and act mortally offended when they don't know the history of their character.
12. Change your name to that of a Harry Potter character and start screaming when they don't address you as such in public.
13. Always speak with a British accent - especially if you aren't from the UK.
14. Refer to real places by Harry Potter names.
15. ...throw a fit if others don't use these names.
16. Draw round glasses and lightning bolt scars on every poster and picture you come across...in permanent marker.
17. Give long lectures about how the prophecy relates to every day life.
18. Give every room in your house a Harry Potter codename. ( Example: The living room becomes the Entrance Hall) and whenever someone asks you where something is, use these names.
19. Change them immediately if they figure out what the names refer to.
20. Constantly ask if they can see the thestrals too.
21. ...refuse to explain what a thestral is.
22. Say, "Anything off the trolley, dear?" in a fake British accent when offering anyone food.
23. Pretend you can do magic.
24. Constantly rearrange their furniture and blame it on indecisive house-elves.
25. Yell "Get away from me, Death Eater!" whenever they get near you.
26. Constantly compare them to Mrs. Figg.
27. ...laugh evilly if they ask who Mrs. Figg is.
28. Complain loudly about how your pictures don't move.
29. Whenever you're asked for advice, reply with "Three turns should do it" in a very serious voice.
30. Break any awkward silences by saying, "How 'bout them Chudley Cannons?"
31. Tell a very long joke using a random Harry Potter quote as the punchline and then laugh hysterically.
32. ...make sure the joke isn't funny.
33. Use the titles "You-Know-Who" and "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" to refer to random people.
34. ... make sure no one knows who you're talking about.
35. Write letters to people (friends, neighbors...politicians) and ask them to join S.P.E.W.
36. ...hand fliers advertising it to a random passerby.
37. Report Dumbledore's death to your local authorities.
38. Call them repeatedly asking if Percy Weasley is there and hang up before they can reply.
39. Pop up in place you're not supposed to be and insist that you were only trying to Apparate.
40. If you're late for something, blame it on your broken Time Turner.
41. Deck yourself out in all of your Harry Potter gear when you know you'll be going to a public place.
42. Walk past a wall over and over again, stopping randomly to bang on. When you receive weird stares, shout, "What?! I'm look for the Room of Requirement!"
43. Every time you see them, demand an explanation of why exactly they don't like Harry Potter.
44. If anyone tells you you'll go to hell for reading Harry Potter, either: a) jump and down and tell them that you can't wait; b) tell them you'll meet them there; c) sing "Weasley Is Our King" over and over again; or d) ask them to back up this claim with evidence, and laugh at them when they can't.
45. Play the soundtracks while they're stuck in your car.
46. ...add commentary. ( Oh, this is where they...)
47. When one of the movies is on TV, call to remind them.
48. ...every five minutes.
49. If they ask for your phone number, tell them it's 6-2-4-4-2.
50. Say "Alohomora!" everytime you open a door.
51. Sort every person you meet into one of the four Houses.
52. Follow them around while acting out a scene from the book doing very annoying voices for all the characters. Expect them to join in, and act offended when they don't.
53. Count down to some obscure Harry Potter event, whether it's Dumbledore's birthday, or when a Harry Potter DVD comes out. Keep saying: "87 (86, 85, etc.) more days!" in the middle of every conversation you have with your friend. Smile in a superior way when they ask what you're counting down to.
54. Start talking about a deceased Harry Potter character and suddenly burst into hysterical tears.
55. Refuse to be comforted.
56. Ask them to help you study for your O.W.L's and N.E.W.T's.
57. Knit them hats and insist that you're just trying to liberate them.
58. Talk to animals and insist that they're Animagi.
59. Treat them to lunch and then suddenly realize you can't pay for the meal since the restaurant doesn't accept Galleons, Sickles, or Knuts.
60. Run up to random men with long, dark hair and scream, "SIRIUS! I always knew you were alive!"
61. Point at modern electronic devices and loudly say, "Look at that! The things these Muggles come up with..."
62. Write letters to the editor of your local newspaper about the evils of our society ( Namely, Death Eaters and discrimination against friendly werewolves).
63. Send them numerous letters informing them that they have been selected to attend Hogwarts.
64. Carry around a shiny rock and proclaim that you possess the Sorcerer's Stone.
65. Say everything in a sing-song voice like Luna Lovegood.
66. End every converastion and/or letter with "Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!"
67. ...refuse to provide an explanation.
68. Tap all brick walls you encounter with an umbrella.
69. Say "Lumos" when turning on a light.
70. Point and grunt and insist that you're speaking Troll.
71. Refuse to wash your hair and explain that you're going for the Snape look.
72. Spend hours at a time trying to get your broom to fly.
73. Invite them over for the night and force them to watch the first three movies with you.
74. If they leave for any reason, restart the movie and tell them it's the Time Turner scene.
75. Shriek loudly and insist that you're speaking Mermish.
76. If you're asked to retrieve something, shout "Accio!" loudly.
77. ...when this doesn't work, throw a fit.
78. Demand to know what exactly the function of a rubber duck is.
79. Talk like Hagrid.
80. Point to garden gnomes and say, "Silly Muggles don't have a clue about what gnomes look like!" in a very loud voice.
81. Take them to a CD store and make them help you look for the newest Weird Sisters album.
82. Yell "Avada Kedavra" anytime they give the anti-HP lecture, then fake excruciating pain as your soul rips in two.
83. Write "Enemies of the Heir, BEWARE!" in red paint on their wall.
84. When confronted about the message, refuse to take responsibility and/or explain it further.
85. Hum Hedwig's Theme constantly and be sure to include any crescendos, decrescendos, accents, etc.
86. Petition to have Hedwig's Theme become the new National Anthem.
87. Wear all black and explain that you're in mourning over the death of "The Only One He Ever Feared."
88. ...when asked for am explanation of this cryptic title, cry hysterically.
89. Replace their entire movie collection with the Harry Potter films.
90. If they ask you about the weather, solemnly say, "Mars is bright tonight."
91. Print this out and use it as a checklist.
92. Insist that they subscribe for your new Harry Potter newsletter and when they say no, act like you've been seriously offended.
93. Potter Puppet Pals, anyone?
94. Knit them a maroon jumper every year - especially if maroon isn't their color.
95. When taking the stairs with them, stop and insist that you have to wait because the staircases are moving.
96. If someone turns off the lights, make a loud cracking sound and pretend to Apparate to the other side of the room.
97. Carry around a hip flask and refuse to drink anything anyone offers you.
98. Toss a small handful of sand and yell out, "Diagon Alley!"
99. If you go to a train station with them, loudly ask random people if they know where you can find Platform 9 3/4. Do this in an extremely fake British accent.
100. When your friend is checking sports scores, ask them if they can find out the score of the latest Quidditch match.
101. If they refuse, complain (loudly) that you missed the semi-final match between the Chudley Cannons and the Wimbourne Wasps and you need to know who will be advancing to the finals against the Tutshill Tornadoes.
102. At your next sleepover, draw a lightning-bolt scar on your forehead, and just as your friend is drifting off to sleep, grab your forehead and start screaming that you dreamed Voldemort killed your parents.
103. Fill a bowl with water and tie some tinsel to the end of your wand. Move the wand-tip from your temple to the bowl and pretend you're transferring your thoughts to a Pensieve, and ask not to be disturbed.
104. When at a train station with them, repeatedly throw yourself against the wall between Platforms 9 and 10. If someone asks if you need help, state in a panicked voice that you're going to miss the Hogwarts Express, and do they have a flying car that you could borrow?
105.At random moments, pick up a wand like object and run around a room, screaming deadly curses and disturbing jinxes. Then collapse, act faint and say that you must be immediately to St. Mungos for you had been placed under the Imperius curse. When not taken, repeat the process.
106. While playing chess with them, stare at your pieces and give them verbal commands.
107. Throw the chessboard across the room when the pieces don't move.
108. Invite them to play "find the Horcrux" with you.
109. Tell them you're wearing an invisibility cloak, then hide.
110. Say "Knock knock." When the person says "Who's there?", say "You Know." When they say "You Know Who?", roll on the floor laughing. When they say they don't get it, become very offended and refuse to explain.
111. Wear mismatched clothes and if someone asks you why say it's because you can never keep up with the muggle fashions.
112. Send out birthday party invitations for a Harry Potter character. Be sure to call everyone who doesn't respond and ask them if they're coming.
113. On the first day of school, ask all of your teachers if "Hogwarts, a History" will be required reading.
114. In casual conversation, mention things you've been taught by Professor Flitwick.
115. Call your local station or cable provider and ask if they will be carrying the Chuddly Cannon games this season.
116. Write all letters to said person on parchment with quills.
117. Whenever they read the newspaper in public, complain loudly about how Scrimegeour is paying them to keep the big stories quiet.
118. Drag them along to the nearest place that has old brick buildings, pull out your pink umbrella, and start tapping the bricks - explain that you're looking for Diagon Alley.
119. Whenever it's foggy outside, scream "The Dementors are coming!" and hide for days at a time.
120. Fill a bowl with water and tie some tinsel to the end of your wand. Move the wand-tip from your temple to the bowl and pretend you're transferring your thoughts to a Pensieve, and ask not to be disturbed.
121. Insist the radio is called a Wizarding Wireless Network.
122. When travelling long distances, insist on going by Floo Powder - while grabbing a handful of soil from the nearest flowerpot.
123. Tell them that they're almost as smart as Grawp.
124. ..refuse to tell them who Grawp is.
125. Speak in a loud harsh voice at random moments and make predictions about people. Then, use your normal voice again and pretend that you don't remember anything.
126. Constantly remind them that you're Dumbledore's man/woman through and through.
127. Walk up to random people and ask them if their initials are R.A.B.
128. If they say no, give them a dirty mistrusting look.
129. If they say yes, then tackle them and demand that they hand over the Horcrux.
130. Yell "Crucio" at drivers who cut you off.
131. Call them every night and ask what the Transfiguration homework is.
Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:
1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office.
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar.
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination.
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after me lucky charms."
8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this year's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's tasteless, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month."
10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand.
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force."
14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot.
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.
16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive.
17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast.
18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day."
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.
20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor.
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling.
25) I am not allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see who will come out alive
26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.
27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.
28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bees."
29) I will not tell Draco to “Make like a ferret and bounce”
30) It is exceptionally tasteless to tell Professor Lupin ‘Once you go black you never go back’
31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core."
32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
33) I will not greet Professor McGonagall with “What’s new pussy cat?”
34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion.
35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends."
36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends."
37) I will not start singing and dancing in the middle of lessons and claim someone put the imperious cure on me.
38) I will not tell Ron and Hermione to ‘get a room’ whenever they start fighting
39) I will not tell Severus Snape he takes himself too seriously. Same applied for Minerva McGonagall.
40) Ravenclaws do not find a sign saying the library is closed for an indefinite time period funny in any sense. Nor does Hermione Granger.
41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck.
42) I do not have a Dalek Patronus.
43) I will not lick Trevor.
44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey."
45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween.
46) I will not refer to Lucius Malfoy as a pimp - even if he does carry a pimp cane
47) I am no longer allowed to use the words ‘pimp cane’ in front of Draco Malfoy
48) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knights Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions.
50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.
51) I will not tell the first years to build a treehouse in the Whomping Willow.
52) I will not tell Filch that Peeves has left. It is cruel to get his hopes up like that.
53) I am not allowed to skip through the hallways singing the "Wizards of Waverly Place" theme song.
54) I am not allowed to attack the new Head Boy with water ballons.
55) I am not allowed to change the Slytherin common room to red and gold.
56) I am not allowed to tell the Revenclaws and/or Hermione Granger that the libray has been closed down.
57) I am not allowed to tell Lockheart that his fanclub is waiting in the Whomping Willow.
4) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss
5) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda
9) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals
10) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches
12) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Moblie, Robin!"
17) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
18) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!"
21) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.
23) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.
24) I will not slip Malfoy a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice.
25) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.
26) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.
28) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the Christmas Holidays.
29) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library.
30) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.
32.)House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
34.)I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause.
35.) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.
36.)I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snapes private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing.
37.) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.
38.)I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.
39.) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.
40.) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.
42.)I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets".
43.)When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts.
44.)Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.
45.)A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.
47.)I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.
48.). I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.
49.)Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny.
50.)Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient.
51.)Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
52.)I may not have a private army.
54.)Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.
55.)I am not the wicked witch of the west.
56.) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.
57.) I will not melt if water is poured over me.
58.) -Neither will Professor Umbridge.
59.)I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors.
60.)I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose.
61.) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.
62.) I will not test my Potions assigments by spiking Snape's drink with them.
63.) - Especially not all of them at once.
65.) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos.
66.)Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'.
68.)When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'.
69.)Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.
70.)The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters.
70 b) nor are the gryfindors to be refered to as gryfindorks, or the ravenclaws nerdenclaws,
71.)I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.
72.)Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not improved by the introduction of muggle firearms.
73.)Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either.
74.)I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.
75.)I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes.
76.)I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.
77.)I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'.
78.)I will not create a betting pool on that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father.
79.)Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka.
80.)Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing GlimmerMcSparkles.
82.)Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin".
83.)I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape.
84.). - However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it.
85.)If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume.
86.) I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes.
87.)I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either.
88.)I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron.
89.)I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times.
90.)It's not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says All the good-looking ones die young with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it.
91.)I will not yell "Hey look It's Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade
92.)I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad bad nightmare about Harry
93.)I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 4.
Everyone except me, i sit where i was before the gunshot sounded, clutching the edge of the table. (insurgent)
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch?
air, my desk,
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Once Upon A Time
4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
my brother talking
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
I walked home from school
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
9. What are you wearing?
jeans, my mom's old tee-shirt, and a black sweatshirt
10. Did you dream last night?
11. When did you last laugh?
when i was talking to my friend about writing
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
posters, paintings, mormon adds, pictures,
13. Seen anything weird lately?
in art today i found a picture of a ram that looks like its saying 'leedle' (dont ask)
14. What do you think of this quiz?
15. What is the last film you saw?
Rise Of The Guardians
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
a plane, a moterhome for my mom, a pickup truck for myself, possibly a cruise. then put the rest away for collage.
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
i wrote a 50000 word book
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Hunger, no one should starve,
19. Do you like to dance?
If I'm alone
20. George Bush:
not to bad a presadent,
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Amelia, Elizabeth, Emma, and Jordin - in that order
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
James, Caleb, Aiden - in that order
23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
As long as they speak english
Big Harry Potter Survey Thingy
Are you obsessed with Harry Potter?
Could You Prove That Statement In Court?
Do You Know Any Of The Characters Middle Name’s?
Have You Seen All The Movies?
Read All The Books?
What Do You Think Of JKR?
One of the best authors ever.
Fred and George
Fred and george
Group Of Characters?
Molly (NOT MY DAUGHTER YOU *)
Bat boggie hex
Chocolate Frogs (chocolate!)
Fred only because I use him as the true love of my main character in one of my stories,
Lucius Malfoy, I guess,
Anything that's not canon.
Any shop in Knockturn Alley.
Couples? What Do You Think?
Please don't make me sick.
Uh, she's already married.
That's just plain gross.
Yes! One of the best couples ever!
Are you serious?
Yes! Yes! Yes! The best couple ever!
Maybe, if Fred hadn't died.
Yeah, they're perfect for each other.
Only Ginny for Harry.
This Or That?
Harry or Ron?
Hermione or Ginny?
Neville or Seamus?
Snape or Slughorn?
Fred or George?
Fred (only because of my stories)
Harry/Ginny or Harry/Hermione?
Ron/Hermione or Harry/Hermione?
Harry/Hermione or Harry/Luna?
Neither of them.
Ron/Hermione or Ron/Luna?
Hermione/Krum or Harry/Hermione?
Neither of them. But krum is just slightly better.
Ron/Lavander or Ron/Hermione?
ButterBeer or Fire Whiskey?
Hog’s Head Or The Three Broomsticks?
James/Lily or Snape/Lily?
Hogwarts or Hogsmeade?
Hogsmeade Or Diagon Alley?
Malfoy Manor or Knockturn Alley?
Beartie Bott’s or Fizzing Whizbees?
Witch Weekly Or The Daily Prophet?
Witch Weekly, the Daily Prophet isn't very truthful.
Rita Skeeter or Barty Crouch?
barty crouch jr.!!!!!! DAVID TENNANT!!!!! but only because he's really the doctor on an undercover mision to destroy the evil alien voldemort - or to kill Edward Cullen. whichever.
Gyrffindor or Ravenclaw?
Have you Been to A Release Party?
Sort of, my friend threw it.
Ever cried while reading one of the books?
Had A Dream About Harry Potter?
yes! i wanted to stay home from school so i bought a bunch of WWW products to stay home sick. '
Been To A Fansite?
Been to JKR’s Site?
Have You Ever Roleplayed?
does dressing up for halloween count?
If So/Do..Who were you/ are you?
Did not role play
Did you use to have an absurd theory?
I probably did, I just can't think of any right now.
What was it?
I just told you I don't know.
Did you/Do you hide your obbsession?
Did it/ Does it work?
I never tried
Ever dressed up like a Character? For Halloween or Just No Reason at all?
Yes I was Hermione for Halloween one year and Ginny another,
Ever noticed That You can’t “Spell Hermione without Ron”?
Notice That If Harry&Hermione Got Married They’d Have EXACT Same Initials?
Did you just try to prove that wrong?
No I already knew
Have you noticed That Lily Evans And Ginny Weasley are a lot alike?
Do you find it weird that Harry & His Dad Fell In Love With Girls So A Like?
No. I think its cute
Do you know what fanfiction is?
Ever Been To A Fanfiction site?
Are you a member of a fanfiction site?
Do you write fanfiction?
Do you like to write fanfiction?
Yes - i wouldnt write it if i didnt like to write it.
Ever had Harry Potter Candy?
Yes, bertie bots,
Do you own a lot of Harry Potter Stuff?
No, just the books.
Do you have Harry Potter Scene It?
Yeah but its only for the first few movies.
Do You Have A Harry Potter Shirt?
What Character Are You Most Often Compared Too?
I've never been compared to one.
Do You Agree With This?
What Are They?
Do you object to being Called By them?
Are Your friends Supportive of your obsession?
Some of my friends are obsessed as much or more than I am.
Do you have any inside jokes that relate to Harry Potter?
What’s One?(You don’t have to explain)
Harry potter water (in a british accent)
Do you relate a lot of things to Harry Potter?
Do you love being obsessed With Harry Potter?
Do you wish that you went to Hogwarts?
You bet I do.
Have you re-read the books?
Have you had A Harry Potter Themed Party?
Ive been to one,
Have You Had An RP Party?
Do You Want To?
Have you ever read a Harry Potter Musical?
Have You Ever Wrote One?
Do You Want To?
Have you ever entered A Contest TO Win Something Harry Potter?
No. but I entered a harry potter coloring contest and got a remote control car
If You Wrote A Hogwarts Musical Would You Let People Read it
I guess so.
Are You Going To Write One?
IS The Musical Thing Annoying You?
Am I more annoying than Rita Skeeter?
Is that even possible?
You're Too Big a Harry Potter Fan when...
You mutter nonsense Latin words under your breath.
You call your least favorite teacher Snape.
Your computer says "You've Got Mail" and you run outside looking for an owl.
You actually ask for a broom for Christmas.
You mutter "lumos" under your breath every time you turn on a flashlight.
You sort everyone you meet into the four Hogwarts houses. (Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin.)
You were burned when you couldn't get through the flames of your fireplace.
You had to go to the hospital after you broke your nose running headfirst into the wall between platforms nine and ten.
You point a normal things like parking meters and say "Look at the things these muggles dream up!"
You try on every piece of silvery fabric your mom has to see if you turn invisible
Before getting up to get something, you always try to summon it first. Accio TV remote!
You were reduced to tears when you finally had book 5, 6, and 7 in your hands.
You refer to your Chemistry class as Potions
You spend hours tapping bricks in special orders hoping that a secret entrance to Diagon Alley will appear.
When playing chess, you yell orders to the chess players and get upset when they don't move.
You yell into the "fellytone."
You get extraordinarily emotional every time you hear "Hedwig's Theme".
Despite being an American, you use the word "wicked" all the time because Rupert Grint does.
You get thoroughly overexcited every time you see a word somewhere that is distantly linked with HP (ie. Saint Hedwig's).
You name all of your pets after HP characters.
You know that Harry's birthday is July 31, 1980, Hermione's birthday is September 19, 1979 and Ron's birthday is March 3rd, 1980 even though it never said in the books.
You refer to Voldemort as "You-Know-Who", and your friends don't have any idea who you're talking about.
You were kicked out of the movie theater for standing on your chair, throwing your shoe at the screen and yelling "THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN IN THE BOOK!" over and over again, even for the most trivial differences.
You count the days until you're old enough for your apparating license, and everyone else thinks you're talking about driving
YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...
You talk to yourself a lot.
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself.
When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else.
After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'
You live off of sugar and caffeine.
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.
You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason
Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
You have strange nicknames and can tell a detailed story about how you got them.
(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)
Because we should stay five forever...
REMEMBER WHEN ..
Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff.
Slytherins … will push someone else off.
Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase.
Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet.
I am not afraid of the dark,
I know karate... and like two other Japanese words
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin' "crap! We messed up!"
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's butt that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this.
BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this crap,
If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile
If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy this to your profile
If you have ever seen a movie or read a book so many times that you can quote it word for word, and do so at random moments, copy and past this to your profile.
If several inanimate objects just seem to hate you copy and paste this to your profile.
If you secretly hoped to get a letter from Hogwarts when you were 11, copy and paste this to your profile. (not secretly)
If you are the kind of person that gets excited when you get like 2 reviews, copy and paste this to your profile
If Fanfiction to you is what Facebook is to other people, copy this to your profile.
If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
If you can read the message above paste it in your profile
22 Things to do in an Elevator
Question 1: What is your favorite Harry Potter book and why? Least favorite?
Question 2: What is your favorite Harry Potter movie and why? Least favorite?
Question 3: Who is your favorite character?
Question 4: Who's Your Favorite Teacher at Hogwarts?
Question 6: Who is your favorite Death Eater (You-Know-Who included)?
Question 7: Who is your favorite Hogwarts Student?
Question 8: What house would you want to be in? Which house do you think you would be sorted into?
Question 9: Would you join the Order or the Death Eaters?
Question 10: If you could choose any character to be your boyfriend/girlfriend, who would it be?
Question 11: Who would be your best friend?
Ginny or the twins.
Question 12: Warner Brothers postponed the release date of the Half-Blood Prince movie to July of 2009. What are your thoughts on this?
Question 13: What is your favorite magical creature?
Question 15: Would you throw Dolores Umbridge into a boiling vat of acid?
Question 16: What character would you dress up as for Halloween?
Question 17: How did you get your copy of The Deathly Hallows?
Question 18: How did you get into Harry Potter?
Question 19: What is one memorable experience you have had involving the series?
Question 20: Have you ever seen a movie you were not particularly interested in, simply because it had a Harry Potter actor in it?
Question 21: Would you go to Hogwarts, Durmstrang, or Beaubatons?
Question 22: What was your favorite Triwizard task?
Question 23: Before you read The Deathly Hallows, what was your opinion of Snape?
Question 24: Do you read or write fanfiction?
Question 25: Which spell do you wish you could use in real life?
Question 26: What position would you play in Quidditch?
Question 27: What was your favorite moment in any of the books?
Question 28: What event in the series did you wish had happened differently?
Question 29: Would you join the DA?
Question 30: Do you think You-Know-Who has EVER had a girlfriend?
Question 31: What name from the series would you be willing to change your own name to?
Question 33: What would your pet be?
Question 34: If you could belong to any family in the series, which would it be?
Question 35: Which Hallow would you most like to have?
Question 36: What is your favorite Horcrux?
Question 37: Ever seen Potter Puppet Pals?
Question 38: What would your patronus be?
Question 39: What would be your animagus form?
Question 40: Who is your favorite Marauder?
Question 41: If you went to Diagon Alley, where would you go first?
Question 42: Favorite member of the Black family?
Question 43: Favorite member of the Weasley family?
Question 44: Who should have won the Triwizard Cup?
It was obvious Harry was the one to win.
Question 45: Who is your favorite actor in the films?
Bonnie Wright and Emma Watson. DAVID TENNANT!!!!!!
Question 46: (insert actor here) should totally play (insert character here).
Question 47: What would you wear to the Yule Ball?
Question 48: How many times have you read the series?
Question 49: Who is your favorite couple?
Question 50: Did you like this survey?
Join the dark side! (We have cookies!)
Funny XD-worthy labels and warnings
On Sears hairdryer:
On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions:
On a bag of Fritos:
On a bar of Dial soap:
On some Swann frozen dinners:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
On Nytol sleep aid:
On artificial bacon:
On a Korean kitchen knife:
On a string of Christmas lights:
On a food processor:
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a child's Superman costume:
Rejected Harry Potter Book Titles (I love HP!)
Harry Potter and the Man-Eating Cannabis Plant
Harry Potter and the Time They Just Sat There For 300 Pages
Harry Potter Releases His Debut Album: I WILL Survive!
Harry Potter and the Never Ending Story
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Scone
Harry Potter and the Quest for the Holy Grail
Harry Potter and the Widely Speculated Yet Not Touched Upon Future Book Titles
Harry Potter throws a rock at Voldemort When He's Not Looking... Then Runs
Harry Potter and the Vampire Interviews
Harry Potter Meets Frodo
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Alcatraz
Harry Potter and the Stoned Philosopher
Harry Potter and Secrets of the Bed Chamber
Harry Potter and the Record of Most Bails out of Azkaban
Harry Potter and Too Many Goblets of Firewhisky
Harry Potter Ordering Around the Phoenix
Harry Potter Finds Waldo
Harry Potter and the 3/4 Blood Prince
Harry Potter and the Return of the would-be-King-if-Harry-Potter-hadn't-defeated-him-when-he-was-a-baby-in-the-first-place (a.k.a Voldemort)
Harry Potter and the Harry Potter Movies -Major Plot Points Excluded
Harry Potter Meets the Baudelaire Children and Wonders How He Got Off So Good
Harry Potter Enters the Ginny Weasley Fan Club
Harry Potter and the Highly Unnecessary Yet Mildly Amusing Rejected Title
Harry Potter Goes to White Castle
Harry Potter Solves the Age-Old Question: Is the Glass Half-Full or Half-Empty?
Harry Potter Improves AOL Harry Potter: The True Hollywood Story Harry Potter and the Stolen Plotline
Harry Potter and That Thing... You Know, The Thing
Harry Potter and the Unpoppable Zit
15 Things to do in Walmart
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"
Gryffindor (The biggest heros in HP history as far as we know):
1. Welcome to Gryffindor, a Weasley has probably slept in your bed.
2. Gryffindors: Brave to the point of Idiocy.
3. Gryffindor: Because we blur the line between bold and stupid every time.
4. The beautiful, the brave and the bold.
5. Gryffindor: I'll kick your ass.
6. I'm in Gryffindor, you're in Gryffindor- let's hug!!
7. Gryffindor: because we get enough exercise just pushing our luck.
8. No excuses, rule breaking is customary.
Slytherin (The Junior Death Eaters):
1. We aren't all evil... yeah, we are.
2. Cunning and Ambition: Slytherin.
3. Go ahead, be a little naughty.
4. Slytherin: We have chained boys in the dungeons.
5. Slytherin: Because our common room is underwater (and that's cool).
6. It's not that we aren't better than you (except it totally is).
7. Why be normal? Or good?
8. We are Junior Death Eaters. Deal with it.
9. Slytherin: means never having to say you're sorry.
10. Seriously evil wizard coming through.
11. I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest.
12. Slytherins do it on Snape's desk.
13. Voldemort needs prision bitches.
14. Because real friends help you Incendio the bodies.
15. Property of the Half-Blood Prince.
16. We're only wearing black until something darker comes along.
17. Don't hate us beacuse we're beautiful, hate us because we kick your ass at everything.
18. Never wound what can kill you.
Hufflepuff (Some of the best people you'll ever meet):
1. I'm planning your death but in a happy way.
2. Brace youself- I'm going to hug you.
3. Nobody ever suspects the Hufflepuff.
4. You may be smarter, cooler, and better, but we still think you suck.
5. You think we're nice? That's cute...
6. Nowhere in the song does it say we're nice.
7. The love of a Hufflepuff was the only love good enough for Neville.
8. Hufflepuff: We kill you with smiles and rainbows.
9. All we got was Cedric... and that didn't turn out so good, did it?
10. Hufflepuffs kick ass too.
11. Hufflepuff: Formerly known as the party house.
12. Hufflepuffs know how to party.
13. Hufflepuff: We have cupcakes. Need we say more?
14. Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.
15. Hufflepuffs are Particularly good finders.
Ravenclaw (The smartest house with the only ones who don't blow themselves up):
Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure.
1. I don't need romance, I have goldfish.
2. A room without books is like a body without a soul.
3. I can kill you with my brain.
4. Ravenclaw pride. Be afraid.
5. It's not that we are smarter than you (except it totally is).
6. I'm a Ravenclaw, which clearly means I am elligable to boast about my intellegence level in your face.
7. Ravenclaw: beacuse we know every insult in the book. (Get it, their smart and they know every insult in the book!)
8. Ravenclaw: geeks shall inherit the earth.
9. Ravenclaw: Dangerously over-educated. (Seriously over-educated.)
10. Ravenclaw: Tact enough for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.
11. Ravenclaw: because everyone else is just dumb.
Silence is golden, but Duct tape is silver!
"I want to fix that in my memory forever. Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret..."- Ron Weasley
"What an idiot." Hermione Granger
'Now I'm going to bed before either of you get another clever idea to get us killed. Or worse expelled.' Hermione Granger.
"Why are you worrying about You know who? You should be worrying about U-No-Poo the constipation Sensation that's gripping the nation!" -Fred and George Weasley
"Give her hell from us Peeves!" -Fred Weasley
"To the well organized mind Death is but the next Great Adventure." -Albus Dumbledore
"You think killing people might make them like you, but it doesn't... it just makes people dead." -A Very Potter Musical
"Pigfarts, Pigfarts, Here I come. Pigfarts, Pigfarts Yum Yum yum!!"- A Very Potter Musical.
"But I'm tired! Can't we all just be death eaters?" -A Very Potter Musical.
"Totally Awesome!" -A Very Potter Musical.
" My name is Draco Malfoy. I am... a racist, I despise gingers...and mudbloods.I HATE Gryffindor house. And my parents work for the man who killed your parents. Do you want to be my friend? " -A Very Potter Sequel
"Having a Heartbeat is very important to your health."- Max and Ruby
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you! - To True
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