![]() Author has written 2 stories for Vampire Academy. List of fics I love that really stuck to my mind and I can't forget about: - "A Blessing in Disguise" by Ms. Belikov - VA fic. My name is Tal. I live in Israel. I'm 20 yrs. old. I have two sisters and a brother. I have a dog. I love to read. I love music. I'm quiet. I serve in the Israeli army. I get pissed off rather easily. I love to fight with people about random things like about whether or not corn is a something you eat at supper or lunch. Or even who has the best pizza. I love fan fiction. I love Dimitri Belikov. I can't sleep more than 4 hours without waking up. (that really sucks!) He laughs when you ask him out -- You laugh when you bury the body. When God gives you lemons -- Squeeze then in that fucker's eyes. Friends are just like trees -- They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe. When violence is not the answer -- You are asking the wrong question. I have a crush on the following: -Dimitri Belikov. I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. Things PMS Stands For: * Pass My Shutgun * Psychotic Mood Swing * Perpetual Munching Spree * Puffy Mid-Section * People Make me Sick * Probide Me with Sweets * Pardon My Sobbing * Pimples May Surface * Pass My Sweats * Pissy Mood Syndrome * Poor Men Suck * Pack My Stuff * Potential Murder Suspect A teacher asks his students to punctuate this sentence: PUNCTUATION IS POWERFUL! Quotes From Vampire Academy: "Hey Mason, wipe the drool off your face. If you're going to think about me naked, do it on your own time.” -Rose. "What? I just had my ass handed to me." -Rose, Vampire Academy. "Are you lost, little girl? The elementary school's over on west campus." -Rose. "I love pity parties. I wish I'd bought the hats." -Christian, Vampire Academy. "Don't worry, I won't bite. At least not in the way you're afraid of." -Christian, Vampire Academy. He laughed, and I was pretty sure it was AT me and not WITH me. -Rose, Vampire Academy. "I had a standing agreement with god. I'd agree to believe in him, barely, so long as he let me sleep in on Sundays." -Rose, Vampire Academy. "Screw you." -Rose. "The Battle cry sort of gave you away. Try not to yell next time." -Dimitri, Vampire Academy. "We all have to do things we don't like. That's life." -Christian. "If you weren't so sphycotic, you'd be fun to hang around." -Christian. And than suddenly he was there, charging down the hallway like death in a cowboy duster. -Rose, Vampire Academy. "What's your name?" -Dr. Olendzki. "The only thing better than imagining Dimitri carrying me in his arms was imagining him shirtless while carrying me in his arms." -Rose, Vampire Academy. "Oh, man. Who pissed you off?" -Mason, Frostbite. Good God, Men everywhere. -Rose, Frostbite. "I need to get off the resort's property. They got Mia to use compulsion on the guards. I need you to do the same thing. I know you've practiced it." -Rose. "You never looked so good Rose." -Christian, Frostbite. “I can’t wait until this show gets on the road. You and me are going to have so much fun, Rose. Picking out curtains, doing each other’s hair, telling ghost stories…” -Christian, Shadow Kiss. "You did not just say that. I have the feeling were on the verge of hugging and coming up with cute nicknames for each other." -Christian. "Really good. I think you have a promising future as a house wife while Lissa works and makes millions of dollars." -Rose. "Great-Aunt. And I'm her favorite great nephew. Well I'm her only great nephew, but that's not important. I'd still be her favorite," -Adrian, Shadow Kiss. "Oh my God. A kind word from Rose Hathaway, I can die a happy man." -Adrian. "Then stop bitching and try again." -Rose. "What do you think, little dhampir? I was pretty badass with that plant, wasn't I? Of course it would have been more badass if I'd, I dunno, helped an amputee grow a limb back. Or maybe separated Siamese twins. But that'll come with more practice." -Adrian. "I'm not jealous I'm just-" -Christian. "Even I make mistakes. I know it's hard to believe-kind of surprises me myself-but I guess it has to happen. It's probably some kind of karmic way to balance out the universe. Otherwise it wouldn't be fair one person so full of awesomeness." -Rose, Shadow Kiss. "Don't worry, little dhampir. You might be surrounded by clouds, but you'll always be like sunshine to me." -Adrian, Shadow Kiss. "My cigarettes and I are going outside. At least they show me respect." -Adrian, Shadow Kiss. "And I thought the whole point of my education was that violence is the answer." -Rose, Shadow Kiss. "Oh man I didn't know you could kick into crazy mode even in dreams." -Rose, Shadow Kiss. "Are you insane?" Who was I kidding of course he was. -Rose, Shadow Kiss. "No," Dimitri interupted gently. "It won't happen to you. You're strong. You're so... so strong. It's why I love you." -Dimitri, Shadow Kiss. "I did it because I love you," I said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. And really, it was. -Rose, Shadow Kiss. I was sure he was going bring up some zen life lesson, but instead, he kissed me. -Rose, Shadow Kiss. "You’re about to face down Strigoi, and my mother’s the one you’re scared of?" -Rose. No one had ever called me unnatural before, except for the time I put ketchup on a taco. -Rose, Blood Promise. I'd said it before and meant it: Alive or undead, the love of my life was a badass. -Rose, Blood Promise. "I'll always love you." -Rose. "Are you kidding? He's arrogant, sarcastic, likes to intimidate people, and" – oh. Okay. Maybe she had a point. -Rose, Blood Promise. "Oh God," I said. "I'm Zmey's daughter. Zmey Junior. Zmeyette, even." -Rose. "Out of all the people who would attempt to rescue me I would never expected you two..." -Victor, Spirit Bound. This is it, a small voice inside her head whispered. This is where I die. -Lissa, Spirit Bound. "Because I need you to be bait for Rose." -Dimitri, Spirit Bound. "Eternity will be lonely without you..." -Dimitri, Spirit Bound. "There is no us, I already told you that." -Dimitri. There's nothing more between you and me. -Dimitri, Spirit Bound. I've given up on you. Love fades. Mine has. -Dimitri, Spirit Bound. She wasn't Alone, I was with her all night. -Adrian, Spirit Bound. Dont touch her, Stay back, They arent going to lying a hand on you. -Dimitri, Spirit Bound. Twilight Quotes: "And so the lion fell in love with the lamb." -Edward, Twilight. "I tell you I can read minds and your you think you're the freak." -Edward, Twilight. "Of all the things about me that could frighten you, you worry about my driving." -Edward, Twilight. It sounded like you were having Bella for lunch, and we came to see if you would share. -Alice, Twilight. Stupid shiny volvo owner. -Bella, Twilight. "Without the dark we would never see the stars." -Bella, Twilight. "When life offers you a dream so far beyond you reach, its not reasonable enough to greive over it when it comes to an end" -Bella, Twilight. "Death is easy, peacful. Life, is harder." -Bella, Twilight. You don’t get a lot of suicidal vampires. -Alice, New Moon. How strongly are you opposed to grand theft auto? -Alice, New Moon. "I am Switzerland." -Bella, Eclipse. "This Hostage stuff is fun." -Alice, Eclipse. "Bring on the suckles. I'm your prisoner!" -Bella, Eclipse. "Life sucks, then you die" -Jacob, Eclipse. I’m really glad Edward didn’t kill you. Everything’s so much more fun with you around. -Emmett, Eclipse. "Fall down again Bella?" -Emmett. "I was just wondering why you stabbed him. Not that I object." -Edward, Eclipse. You won't sleep with me until we're married? -Bella. "I love you. I want you. Right now." -Edward, Eclipse. "I thought I wouldn't feel like this in a long time? But I still want you". -Bella, Breaking Dawn. "I'll play you for it. Rock, paper, scissors." -Alice. "Over my pile of ashes." -Rosalie, Breaking Dawn. Vampire Academy Quiz! Who introduced you to the books? My mother Did you buy them, borrow them or have them given to you as gifts? Bought them. What is your dream ending to the series? Dimitri and Rose get together, Adrian and Sydney get together, Mia and Eddie get together, Lissa and Christian stay together, Rose and Dimitri can have kids and everybody's happy! Favourites: Who is your favourite character? Dimitri and Rose. Who's your favourite Dhampir? Look Above. What's one of your favourite quotes of the stories? "What's your name?" Or "Hey Mason, wipe the drool off your face. If you're going to think about me naked, do it on your own time." What is your favourite Lissa and Rose moment? The end of Shadow Kiss when Rose is going to leave but Lissa tries to stop her. What was your favourite adventure/battle? Rose fighting Dimitri at the fild experience. Which book cover was your favourite? Frostbite. Are these books among your favourite books of all? They are my favorite books. This or That? Vampire Academy or Frostbite? Vampire Academy. Frostbite or Shadow Kiss? Shadow Kissed. Shadow Kiss or Vampire Academy? Shadow Kissed. Blood Promise or Spirit Bound? They both piss me off but I'll have to say that Spirit Bound. Who do you want to see with Rose most: Adrian or Dimitri? Dimitri!!!! Who do you like more: Rose or Dimitri? Both. Rose or Adrian? Rose. Rose or Lissa? Rose. Lissa or Adrian? Lissa. Rose or Mia? Rose. Christian or Lissa? Both. Christian or Dimitri? Dimitri. Stan or Kirova? No one. They both piss me off. Kirova or Alberta? Alberta. Adrian or Christian? Christian. Janine Hathaway or Tasha Ozera? Janine Hathaway. Lissa or Mia? Lissa. Eddie or Mason? Eddie. Anna or Vladmir? Anna. Adrian or Mason? Adrian. Eddie or Christian? Christian. Eddie or Adrian? Adrian. Dimitri or Adrian? Dimitri!!! Mia or Jill? Can't decide. Both. Spirit or Fire? Can't Decide. Both are so cool! Whos the better villian: Blond strigoi (Nathan) or Victor? Victor. Moroi or Dhampir? Dhampir, of course! He gave her 12 roses, 11 real and one fake, and said, "I'll love you until the last rose dies." My name is sarah I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home. When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall. I try and hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry. He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And I run for the door. He's already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall. I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate. The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor. My name is Sarah And I am but three, Tonight my daddy, Murdered me. Try Not To Cry: Johnny brought a gun to school, Mommy, I was a good girl, I did But Mommy, when I went to school that day, When Johnny shot the gun, Mommy, please tell Daddy; And tell my little sister; And tell my wonderful friends; Mommy, tell my teachers; Mommy, why'd it have to be me? And Mommy, tell the doctors; Mommy, I'm slowly dying, Mommy, I ran as fast as I could, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to get married, But Mommy, I'm must go now, I love you Mommy, I always have, --In Memory Of The School Shootings-- -If you wish you could go to St. Vladimir's Academy like Rose and Lissa and meet a guy like Dimitri, put this on your profile. -If you are so angry at the freaking Strigoi for turning Dimitri and taking him away from Rose, post this. -If you have read every vampire book you can get your little hands on, post it up! -If you support the ‘Rose somehow SAVING and NOT KILLING Dimitri’ club, copy this. -If you cried like a baby through the last chapters of shadow kiss because you thought Dimitri was dead, post this on your profile. (Although I was sure he would turn Strigoi, I still cried like a baby) -If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the heck of it then copy this into ya profile. -If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. -If you have ever dreamed or imagined being a vampire or a werewolf, put this in your profile. -If you have ever zoned out for more than 5 consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. -If you have ever zoned out for more than 5 consecutive minutes about vampire academy, copy this into your profile. -If you have ever read a 700 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile. -If you think being weird is cooler than being cool. Copy & Paste this into ur profile -If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled the handle on a door that said push, copy this in your profile. -If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this in your profile. -If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile. -If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. -If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. -If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. -If you've ever tried putting your hair behind your ears, and ended up poking yourself in the eye...copy/paste this into your profile!! -If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon copy this onto your profile. -If you think that Vampire Academy is the best book known to man...copy and paste this onto your profile. -If you are in lala land most of the time copy this onto your... well you know what comes next. -If you are in love with a fictional characted copy this to your profile. -If you are the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal, copy and paste this into your profile. -If you have an obsession with Vampire Academy, copy this into your profile. -If you have an obsession with Fan Fiction, copy and paste this into your profile. -If you have an obsession with reading fan fictions about Vampire academy copy and paste this into your profile. -If you've ever read past two in the morning, copy this into your profile. -If you've ever read ALL night, copy this into you profile. -If you read peoples profiles, looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy this into your profile. -If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. -If you have WAY too much things to do on your hands and you're on fanfiction.net instead of doing them, copy and paste this in your profile. -If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile. -98% of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like chocolate chip cookies. -If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile. -93 percent of teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile. -If you're the kinda person who walks into a chair and apologizes, copy this onto your profile. -If you don't have a problem with homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile. -92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off. -65 percent of teenagers spend more time watching TV than reading. If you are part of the 35 who read more than you watch TV then copy and paste this onto your profile. -If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile. -If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile. (What girl doesn't like Chocolate?) -If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. -If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. -If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying,But at the same time funny, copy and paste this onto your profile. -If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile. -Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your profile. -Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile. -98 of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile. -If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. -If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile. -Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?" -If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile! -If you've ever tripped over your own toe, copy this to your profile. -If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. -If you've ever stood straight up, then fell down for no apperent reason, copy this to your profile. -Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile! -If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. -If you believe that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you copy and paste this onto your profile. -You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the tv. -If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile. -Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune. -If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. -If you've ever lost someone (dogs count) you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile. -If you absolutely CANNOT live without one or all of these books series (Harry Potter, Twilight, Vampire Academy, Hush Hush, The Immortals, The Hunger Games, etc), copy and paste this into your profile! -If you have ever been so obsessed with a song you actually A) dream about it, B) sing it in school no matter who's listening or, C) know the lyrics by heart and sing it no matter how off key you are, copy and paste this into your profile. -If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. -If you like fire and fireworks and explosions and things that go boom, copy and paste this to your profile. -If you have ever yelled at an inanimate object copy and paste this into your profile. -If you have ever wanted an inanimate object to go die copy and paste this into your profile. -Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. -If you have ever been kidnapped and nearly eaten by evil flying squirrels before your dhampir boyfriend saved you, then you found a flamethrower and vanquished the squirrels shouting “Die, squirrel beasts, die!”, copy this into your profile. -If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. -If you have ever thrown something at your television when you saw a character you despised, whether it be a piece of popcorn, a fork, or a chair, or a gun copy and paste this to your profile. -If you think it's stupid that girls are automatically labeled with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile. -If when you're angry most of your vocabulary consists of 'Fuck', 'Shit', 'Motherfucker' or any other colorful words your twisted mind can come up with, post it to your profile. -If you have inside jokes... with yourself... copy and paste this into your profile. -If you love to sit at your computer all day, doing timewasting things, copy and paste this to your profile. -If you spend 10 hours on Fanfiction each day, copy and paste this to your profile. -If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile. -If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. -If you enjoy reading the and copying the "copy and pastes" from other people's profiles to your own, copy and paste this to your profile. -If you are a computer addict, copy and paste this in your profile. -If you hate stereotypes and think people should just SHUT UP AND STOP, POST THIS -If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. -If your profile is (somewhat) long, copy this to make it longer. -"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone. -If you have a thing for pasting things on your profile, paste this on your profile -If you're on the computer, paste this on your profile. -If you aren't me, paste this on your profile. -If you have ever yelled at and/or slapped an inanimate object from anger, paste this on your profile. -If you have a profile, paste this on your profile -If, for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile. -If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile. -If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear baiting, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile! -If you have ever wondered what the afterlife is like, copy this into your profile. -Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile. -If you are in love with any of the Cullens (men or women) then copy and paste this into your profile. -If your on Team Edward copy and paste this into your profile. -If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile. -If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. -If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile. -If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you becasue of the effects, copy and paste this into your profile. -If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you freakin' could, copy this into your profile. -If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile. -If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this onto your profile. -If you've met your not-blood related twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile. -If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile. -If you think Edward Cullen can be an arrogant jerk but also a gentleman ... AT THE SAME TIME! Copy and paste this on your profile. (Really weird that he CAN do that!) -If Dimitri Belikov is the hottest guy on earth, copy this into your profile. -If Edward Cullen is the hottest vampire on earth, copy this into your profile. (Well, he is one of the hottest vampires on earth... That's good enough for me ;)) -If you're obssesed with Damon Salvatore copy this on your profile! -If you could go hours on end staring at a picture of Damon Salvatore copy and paste this to your profile. -If you are absolutly in love with L.J Smith's Damon Salvatore, from Vampire Diaries, copy and paste this into your profile. -If you truely believe, there is an Damon Salvatore somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Damon Salvatore), copy this into your profile. -If you have ever been so obsessed with Vampire Diaries that whenever you hear screaming you think of Damon killing someone copy and paste. -If you are on Team Damon, copy and paste this onto your profile. -If you think that Damon Salvatore ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile. -If the only thing you think about is the Vampire Diaries series copy and past this to your profile. -If you are in LOVE with Damon Salvatore copy and paste this to your profile. -If you know you have an unhealthy obsession with Damon Salvatore, but you don't really care because you don't want to heal quite frankly, post this. -If whenever you see or hear the name 'Damon' you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much and then people stare at you and tell you to shut up and let it go, post this. -If you think Damon Salvatore is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile. -If you have punched somebody because they said Damon was ugly and/or gay copy and paste this to your profile. -If you have ever screamed because you saw Damon Salvatore on TV, copy and paste this to your profile. -If you were going to cry when Damon almost died in Season 1 Finale Copy and Paste this onto your profile! -If you consider your family strange, but love them anyway, put this into your profile. -If you have way too many of these things, copy and paste this into your profile -If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. -If you've ever sung a song you hated very much, copy and paste this into your profile. -If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. AV - Addicted to Vampires WIWAVS - Wishing I Was A Vampire Syndrome DSISS - Damon Salvatore Is Sexy Syndrome READ VAMPIRE ACADEMY OR I'LL PROVOKE THE STRIGOI AND BLAME YOU! Sometimes you put up walls not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down. "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes." "People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door." You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both. Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable. Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. Two most common elements in the universe: Hydrogen & Stupidity. Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken... I smile cause I don't know what the hell is going on. I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y". I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what someone would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. Tell the truth and run. When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic... Don't mess with me I've got a stick and I have nowhere to put it! I ran with scissors, and lived! The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you. Smile, and the world will smile back at you. Laugh, and they'll all think you're on drugs. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing. Drugs are bad news. Spread the news. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it becomes a problem. The voices in my head tell me that you're all crazy to think that I need therapy. If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation. My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. Ever stop to think and forget to start again? You're intoxocated by my very presence. Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES! Life was so simple when boys had cooties! I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard. I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends. Being mature is overrated. Being weird is like being normal, only better. I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me. Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright. Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full. Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over. One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. I don't suffer from insanity,... I enjoy every minute of it. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch? Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that. Your weirdness is creeping the voices in my head out. Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars. To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world. One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, off the occasional cliff and into sliding glass doors. I’m not afraid of Death, what’s he gonna do? kill me? It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it? Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner! If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun. One bright day in the middle of the night, One was blind and the other couldn't see, A paralysed donkey passing by, A deaf policeman heard the noise, Your eyebrows are as beautiful as an enormus caterpillar. When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS! My friend's the kind of person that breaks the silence at a funeral by screaming "KUNG POW CHICKEN" I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator! I agree with the dictionary. girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3? "Education is important, school however, is another matter." "What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? "He said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it. I walk in the rain, When life gives you lemons, throw them back and yell, I WANT DEMITRI BELIKOV!! They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people. There is no I in team but the is an I in PIE and there is an PIE in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM... Everything here is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is frowned upon in most societies. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back. Come to the dark side. We have DIMITRI! "Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that." YOU CALL ME A BITCH. A BITCH IS A FEMALE DOG,DOG BARK, BARK IS ON TREES, TREES ARE IN NATURE AND NATURE IS BEAUTIFUL SO THANKE FOR THE COMPLIMENT:P “I am sick of people having a near death experienceand saying they saw the light. You know what the paramedics do when they first arrive? THEY SHINE A LIGHT IN YOUR EYE! That’s not GOD…it’s a MAGLIGHT!” You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it. "Sometimes I wonder 'why is the Frisbee getting bigger?' then I get hit in the face." Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought. "The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide." If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? My prince doesn't wear shiny armour. Sometimes you just have to smile and walk away...hold your tears in and pretend you are okay. "Roses are red, violets are blue, god made me pretty, but what the hell happened to you?" "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice and I'll kill you." "If at first you don't success, redefine success." F.I.N.A.L.S-Fuck, I never actually learned this shit. "Never say 'Things couldn’t get any worse.' God takes that as a personal challenge." "It's just AMAZING! You're completely wrong again!" "Jesus is coming! Everybody look busy!" That which does not kill me, had better run pretty damn fast. "Do you remember when Pluto was a planet, yeah, those were the days." I suffer from C.R.S. (Can't Remember Shit) "Bravo. You really know how to make an ass out of yourself." "One night I was lying awake when I asked myself 'what's wrong with me?' Then a voice answered 'this is going to take more then one night.'" "If you talk to God you're religious. If God talks to you, you're psychotic." "You, off my planet." “I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but I’ll wager it’s hard to pronounce.” "Well, we always suspected that thinking was dangerous." Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling. Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. If you die, I'll kill you! A repair shop: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK) Don't steal, the government hates competition. I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on. Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. Work fascinates me. I could sit and watch it for hours. "There are three kinds of people - those who can count and those who can't" "I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids." "Never go to bed mad. Stay up and plot your revenge". "I used to think I was poor. Then they told me I wasn't poor, I was needy. Then they told me it was self-defeating to think of myself as needy. I was deprived. (Oh not deprived but rather underprivileged) Then they told me that underprivileged was overused. I was disadvantaged. I still don't have a dime. But I have a great vocabulary." I'm gonna live forever, or die trying. "I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I must be perfect!" I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it. Homework is killing trees, stop the madness! Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. Life is like a role of toilet paper; hopefully long and useful, but it always ends at the wrong moment. "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." "Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." "Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk." "I have the answer in my head. I just haven’t found it yet." "I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman." If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception. STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him ... If you don't mind I'd like a second opinion. He said ... Alright... you're ugly too! I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it. So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey. Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat. We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful. All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power. Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES! We are not retreating...we are advancing in another direction. How do you save your enemy from drowning? Take your foot of his/her head! I'm bored. Run for your sanity. The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into school. Evil beware, we have waffles. "Hey, make up your mind. Am I a genius, or a creep?" "You're a creepy genius." "Did you study for today's test?" "You bet. Ask me anything you want about history-" "Uh, that's great, but the test is in math." The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at. What doesn't kill you, only puts you in the hospital for a few weeks! I used up all my sick days so I called in dead. I'm gonna survive even if it kills me. If first you don’t succeed… maybe losing is your style. I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen. EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later. He who laughs last thinks slowest! Make yourself at home... Clean my kitchen. The silent ones are always the deadliest. I’ll be dead before I die. Stupid words! Where are they when you need them?! I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse. Silence is golden, duct tape is silver. All the good ones are either gay, married, vampires or fictional characters in books or movies. You say Pink I don't run on COFFEE...I run on MUSIC (Well, they are both essential to my survival) You wanna be Romeo and Juliet? Okay then. You and your boyfriend can go commit suicide together. Suicide is a long term solution to a short term problem! Don't do it!!! If your not living on the edge, your taking up too much space! Don’t mess with me, I know kung-fu, karate and 47 other dangerous words. She's got him falling head over heels for her and I can't even get him to stumble... In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away... When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile. Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. "I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry. "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." "You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel." To realise the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade. You've got to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you've got, and remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget. Learn from mistakes, but never regret. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present. I got kicked out of the bookshop once for moving all the Bibles to the fiction section. If vodka was water and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and never come up. But vodka's not water and I'm not a duck so pass me a bottle and shut the fuck up. 6 REASONS NOT TO MESS WITH CHILDREN AND WHY THEY ARE CONSIDERED DIABOLICAL 1. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ". 2. A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute." 3. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill." 4. One day, a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the sink. She suddenly notices that her mother had several strands of whitehair on her head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Momma?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time you do something to make me sad or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl pondered this revelation for a while, then said, "Momma, how come ALL of Grandma's hairs are white?" 5. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'that's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead." 6. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples." Five Resons Why Bella's an Idiot: 1. She jumped off a cliff and didn't die. 2. She didn't kill Jacob for imprinting on Nessie. 3. What regular person uses the word irrevocably? 4. She can't win an argument with Edward unless its about sex. 5. She's a freaking spaz. (Yep) Vampire Diaries (TV) Quotes! Elena: I am not a believer. People are born, they grow old and die. Damon: I'm Damon, Stefan's brother. Caroline: Cocky much? Damon: (on Stefan's journal) Very Emerson, the way you reveal your soul. So many... adjectives. Damon: It's cool not growing old. I like being the eternal stud. Damon: I'm not some drunk sorority chick. You can't roofy me Damon: You really need some human blood. It might even the playing field... football reference! Too soon? Damon: What's so special about this Bella girl? Edward's so whipped! Caroline: They look so cute together. Zach: You don't visit, Damon... You appear. Periodically. Reminding me that this isn't my house, that you're only allowing me to live here ... allowing me to live. Damon: (to Vicki) You just don't wanna die, do you? Damon: I'm getting really bored and impatient; and I don't do bored and impatient. Damon: Is it skunk? Saint Bernard? Bambi? Damon: I say snatch, eat, erase! Elena: If you wanted me dead, I'd be dead. Vicki: Why do I need to pee? I thought I was dead. Vicki: You did this to me out of boredom? Damon: Come on Vicki. Live a little. No pun intended. Elena: You did this. This is your fault. Damon: Why are you so mean to me? Lexi: You'll rock her world so hard with your vamp sex, she'll be yours forever. Damon: Does it get tiring, being so righteous? Lexi: The famous Elena? Damon: (on coffee) It does dead flesh good. Damon: I'll adopt the Stefan diet, only nothing with feathers. Damon: I could rip your heart out and not think twice about it. Damon: We're a team. We could travel the world together. We could try out for The Amazing Race! Stefan: How are we supposed to find this person? Damon: You have to be invited in. Damon: I was ambushed. I was shot. Now, I'm vengeful. Mayor Stratton: Do I look like a student? Damon: I don't side with anyone. You piss me off. I want you dead. Elena: This is kidnapping. Bree: He is good in the sack, isn't he? Elena: I saved your life. Damon: You're not the worst company in the world, Elena. Damon: Vampires can't procreate... though we love to try. Damon: You okay? Damon: It's not like we all hang out together at the vamp bar and grill. Stefan: I'm talking about Atlanta. Alaric: First person account of the Civil War? That's like porn for a history teacher. Bonnie: You tried to kill me. Damon: If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it. Damon: I really like this whole menage a team thing. It has a bit of a kink to it. Damon: (to Anna) Damn, you're strong for a little thing Stefan: Anna took Elena. Damon: I didn't compel you in Atlanta because we were having fun. I wanted it to be real. I'm trusting you. Don't make me regret it. Damon: How long are you gonna blame me for turning your birth mother into a vampire? Elena: Damon gets what he wants, no matter who he hurts in the process. Damon: I have two liters of soccer mom in the fridge. Damon: Am I leaving anything out? Alaric: She's human. Damon: If I had a good side, not a way to get on it. Damon: Guess what? Everyone hates me. But you can't deny: we were bad ass! Damon: I haven't hunted a human in... God, way too long. Damon: Turn it up a little bit. It's not annoying yet. Stefan: I really liked you better when you hated everybody. Damon: Have I entered an alternate universe where Stefan is fun? Damon: We have a problem, Stefan. And when I say problem, I mean global crisis. Damon: You're playing house with half a tomb of really pissed off vampire. What did you think was gonna happen? Damon: You seem awfully chipper lately. Less doom and gloom. More pep in your step. Damon: You spent the last century and a half being the poster child for Prozac. Now you want me to believe this new you has nothing to do with human blood. Damon: John, whatever I can do to help make this town safe. Even if it means spending time with you. Damon: Nostalgia is a bitch. Damon: I couldn't have him running around chewing on people with the town running around looking for vampires, could I? Damon: Stefan likes puppy blood... little Golden Retriever blood with floppy ears. That's his favorite. Damon: How'd you get this number? Alaric: Can we not kill anyone tonight, please? Damon: What did you think you were gonna find? Isobel with a cigar and slippers? John: What do you think your mother would say if she knew you were dating a vampire? Damon: You successfully cured him of anything interesting about his personality. Alaric: She threatened to go on a killing spree. Damon: Stefan is different. He wants to be human. He wants to feel every episode of How I Met Your Mother. Damon: I do believe in killing the messenger. Know why? It sends a message. Damon: I like being a living dead person. Elena: I think you should stop with the flirty little comments and the eye thing you do. Jeremy: Let go of me before I cause a scene. Damon: It's Founder's Day. I'm here to eat cotton candy and steal your girl. Damon: You have no sense of humor. Damon: Life sucks either way, Jeremy. At least if you're a vampire, you don't have to feel bad about it if you don't want to. Damon: I'm not a hero, Elena. I don't do good. It's not in me. Damon: Somewhere along the way, you decided I was worth saving. I wanted to thank you for that. Her name was Auroura Ropost it if you cried. The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism. You Might Be An Author If... 1. Every time you hear a song, you think of a new story or one you've already written. 10 Commandments of a Teenager 1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. 2) Thou shall not do drugs. 3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart. 4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism. 5) Thou shall not steal from your parents. 6) Thou shall not get into fights. 7) Thou shall not skip class. 8) Thou shall not strip in class. 9) Thou shall not think about having sex. 10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street. GIRL COMEBACKS!! Boy Girl "Where have you been all my life?" "Are you an angel from heaven?" "Your place or mine?" "You're feisty, I like that." "My dad owns the Café. I could get us really good seats." "I have magic fingers. And they love to give massages." "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" "So, what do you do for a living?" "Hey baby, what's your sign?" "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Your body is like a temple." "I would go to the end of the world for you." "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy." "Haven't we met before?" "So, wanna go back to my place ?" "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason" "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy." "I know how to please a woman." "I want to give myself to you." "I can tell that you want me." "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?" "I'd go through anything for you." "How did you get so beautiful?" "So, what do you do for a living?" "Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here." "Do you come here often?" "Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart." "Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?" "You must be from Pearl Harbor, because baby, you're the bomb." "Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin'." "Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back." "You know, we have actually met before. Remember the dream you had of the perfect guy? I was the guy standing to his right." One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?" "I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg." In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones. "Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin. "Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones. "God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin. "Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again. The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?" Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!" "Amen," replied the congregation. A good or best friend! A good friend remembers your name. A best friend forgets theirs and uses yours. A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "You have seven days..." A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?" A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you. A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!" A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you. A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in. A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run bitch. Run!!!!" A good friend will help you move on. A best friend will help you move the bodies. A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the cell next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you whenyou aren't down anymore. A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial. A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass for leaving you. A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story. A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries. A good friend will ask you why you are crying. A best friend is someone who won't say anything when you cry for no reason, but will start sobbing too, just help you cry. List any 12 character randomly. 1.Dimitri 2.Rose 3.Lissa 4.Adrian 5.Christian 6.Eddie 7.Janine 8.Alberta 9.Kirova 10.Mia 11.Stan 12.Jesse 1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to? (Eddie and Janine) No… But it will be so cool! I wonder what it will be about! 2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot? (Adrian) Yes!!!!!!! But one (Dimitri) is hotter! 3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? Jessie got Alberta pregnant!! Wow I never saw that one coming! 4. Can you recall any fics about Nine? No, who would want to write a fic about Kirova?!? 5. Would Two and Six make a good couple? (Rose and Eddie) Um… No! They are so not for each other! 6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why? Christian/Mia because I don’t think Kirova is Christian's tipe consider that she is REALLY old! 7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex? If Janine walked in on Rose and Jesse having sex uhhh she would scream at Rose, Rose will scream back and when Rose will go away she will kick Jesse's ass! 8. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff? Dimitri and Alberta? Um... maybe Alberta asked him out on a date and he politely declined. Or maybe he agreed, it can be SO funny! 9. When was the last time you read a fic about Five? (Christian) Today about him and Rose falling in love. 10. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (7). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3)." "Dimitri and Janine are in a happy relationship until Kirova runs off with Janine. Dimitri, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Stan and a brief unhappy affair with Jesse, then follows the wise advice of Christian and finds true love with Lissa." List any 12 character randomly. 1.Hermione Granger 2.Harry Potter 3.Draco Malfoy 4.Severus Snape 5.Minerva McGonagall 6. Ron Weasley 7.Nevill Longbottom 8.Bill Weasly 9.Molly Weasly 10.Albus Dumbledor 11.Pansy Parkinson 12.Ginny Weasly. 1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to? (Ron and Pansy) I don't think so... but maybe it's because I don't like Ron so I don't search for fics about him... 2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot? (Snape) Yes!!!!!!! I LOVE dominating, powerful men! 3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? If Ginny got Bill pregnant... I would be soooooo wierd, since they are brother and sister, not to mention that it would be a miracle since she would get him pregnant. AND it would be one redhead baby. 4. Can you recall any fics about Nine? No, Molly isn't really a character people write whole fics revolving around her... 5. Would Two and Six make a good couple? (Harry and Ron) Um… Maybe... Although if we're getting Harry out of the closet, I'd rather he be with Draco Malfoy. They are perfect for each other! 6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why? (Minerva/Molly or Minerva/Albus) Of course Minerva and Albus! If he wasn't still hung up on Gindelwald in the books they would have totally gotten together!!! 7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex? If Neville walked in on Harry sleeping with Ginny... Hell, it probably DID happen. I assume he would blush, stutter, and run away... 8. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff? Hermione and Bill, YES! And it's brilliant! Although, admittedly, I love Hermione with anyone who isn't Ron! 9. When was the last time you read a fic about Five? I don't think I've read a fic ABOUT Minerva... Only ones she was a secondary character... 10. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (7). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3)." "Hermione and Neville are in a happy relationship until Molly runs off with Neville. Hermione, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Pansy and a brief unhappy affair with Ginny, then follows the wise advice of Minerva and finds true love with Draco." A girl and a guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle. Girl: Slow down, I'm scared. Guy: No, this is fun. Girl: No it's not, please, it's so scary. Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you, slow down. Guy: Now give me a big hug She gave him a big hug Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? It's really bothering me. The next day in the newspaper, a motorcycle crashed into a building due to brake failure. Two people were in the crash, but only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that the breaks weren't working, but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loves him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so that she would live, even if it meant that he would die. Reasons why I Love Dimitri Belikov: 1)who doesn't love a sexy Russian? 2)He didn't impregnate his girlfriend (cough cough you shouldn't have done that Edward!!) 3)He's wonderful to imagine talking to or being with when no one is watching :D (naughty thoughts right here) 4)Dimitri can kick ass (yes I'm pointing at you Adrian) 5)He makes you love Russia so much that if you lived in the US in 1950's you would get shunned 6)Dimitri makes us all want to believe that Vampire are real 7)Dimitri makes me believe in God (Russian God that is) 8)He's not a stalker like Edward and doesn't like watching people sleep when they don't know that they are there. 9)He's a ninja! 10)He makes you wonder what kind of dirty secrets he would have. 11)He makes you want to check out every single book that your library has about western novels. 12)He's HOT! Friends: Tell you that you look nice. Friends: Say "see you later!" Friends: Bail you out of jail. Friends: Forgive you. Friends: Politely refuse food. Friends: Are only through school. Friends: Laugh with you. Friends: Tell jokes with you. Friends: Tell you that you're the most annoying thing on earth. Friends: Would knock on your front door. Friends: You have to tell them not to tell. Friends: Will be there to take your drink away when they think youve had enough. Friends: comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend. Friends: bail you outta jail. Friends: tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house. Friends: Think your insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline. Friends: come over every couple of months for a sleepover. Friends: are offended when you make fun of them. Friends: are shy around your boyfriend. Friends: don't see you if you're sick. Friends: dare you to scream into the street. Friends: call you retarded for running threw bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!" Friends: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night. Friends: Meet your boy/girl friend and say nice to meet you. Friends: Ask why you're crying. Friends: Annoy you. Friends: Forget you. Friends: Like you. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Revenant666, darkflame1516, AirGirl Phantom, Agent of the Divine One, Psychoteenagegirl,Shinzu Kapu kapu, moosehugger, zeza101, MyImmortal01, Jackie Clearwater Voltarre, I Love Dimitri Belikov, You have been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, Bookworm-Booklover, Jasper's Fangirl, vampirechick123, Twilight-Lover908, MyImmortal01, Jackie Clearwater Voltarre, I Love Dimitri Belikov, To me, writing is more than a passtime or a way to express yourself. It's an escape, a way to forget your troubles and the troubles of the world around you. It's a way to live out things that would be almost impossible in the real world and do things that you wouldn't normally. To put yourself in someone else's shoes and to get away from the stress in your life. To just dissappear into a world you created and relax. Add your name if you agree that writing isn't just a way to kill time. MyImmortal01, Jackie Clearwater Voltarre, I Love Dimitri Belikov, "REMEMBER WHEN" REMEMBER WHEN .. Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now!! Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public. Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch some marajiwana. Jack got high and dropped his fly and said do you wanna? Jill said yes and dropped her dress and then they had some fun. Silly Jill forgot her pill and then they had a son. Sex is a sensation You Know You're a Book Addict If: You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on. 15 Things to do when you're in Walmart! 1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. (Never been to walmart or whatever But I found this Helarious p.s can't spell lol) 1. Put your iTunes (or iPod) on shuffle 2. For each question, press the next button to get your next answer 3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS! WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? Blow Me (One Last Kiss) WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Teach Me How To Dougie WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Lady Marmelade WHAT IS 22? Everytime I... WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Enchanted WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Need You Now (That's so true!) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? I Try WHAT DO YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Sexy Bitch WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? What Goes Around Comes Around WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? Beautiful Liar WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Cry (I really hope I won't dance this in my wedding. lol) WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Impossible WHAT IS YOUR HOBBIE/INTREST? Like A Boy (What???) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? I Kissed A Girl (Combined with the previous answer, I think my boyfriend and I need to have a conversation, ASAP!!) WHAT DO YO THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Basket Case (HaHa so true!!) WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN? Boyfriend (?!?!?!) HOW WILL YOU DIE? B-E-A-Utiful (Will I because I'm too beautiful? At least that's a bit comforting...) WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WILL REGRET? Just A Little Bit (??) WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH? Boulevard Of Broken Dreams (Apperantly, I'm dead inside) WHAT MAKES YOU CRY? Happy Boys And Girls (Oh My God! What is going on?!?) WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED? Walk Away (What does that means? Will I get married or not?) WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST? Freckles (Umm... Not really...) Boredm Busters 1. Try not to think about penguins. I messed up of my teenage life... kissed someone before dating 25 - Multiply by 3 Total- 75 lol! |