Dallas Angel
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Joined 07-14-10, id: 2447793, Profile Updated: 11-18-10
Author has written 12 stories for Twilight, and Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

Sites I'm on:

my tumblr: youngwriter.tumblr.com

my twitter: twitter.com/Souyia

my website: dallasangel.webs.com

my other website: outskirters.webs.com

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN DUDE! RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting next to you sayin "THAT WAS FREAKIN' AWESOME!!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Have you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's butt that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life

FRIENDS:Will confort you when the guy rejects you
BEST FRIENDS:Will go up to him and say 'it's becuase your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this thing!!

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you've reread TWILIGHT over ten times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you went to sleep at around 2 am or later reading the Twilight books, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Chocolate chip cookies are yummy! If you agree, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you cried, screamed, or threw a fit when Edward left Bella in New Moon, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Apple Tree
By L'espoire

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree

The Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down,
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town,
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlies sake of course,
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse,
I promise to remember Carlisle
When I am in the emergency room,
And I promise to remember Emmett
When there's a huge boom,
I promise to to remember Rosalie
Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty,
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall picking out clothes,
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that bronze hair,
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care,
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my stomach isn't curled,
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes, I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit! (OMC! Carlisle!)

When you get caught looking at him, just remember he was looking back.

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

If you have ever had the Edward/Jacob argument with someone, copy this to your profile.

If you went to sleep at around 2 am reading Twilight and/or New Moon and/or Eclipse, copy and pastes this onto your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're in LOVE with Jacob's eight packs, post this onto your profile.

If you're on Team Jacob, but when it comes to Bella, you're on Team Edward, post this onto your profile.

If you belive your own Edward Cullen is out there somewhere, add this.

Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you have siblings that drive you CRAZY then copy this onto your profile.

If you REALIZED that EVERY sentence on this list had at least TWO or more words except one, copy this onto your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would DIE if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't COOL to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the percent laughing your butt off.

If you HATE those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

I just hate it when people call me dumb. If you hate people calling you dumb, post this in your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile

If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.

My Faith:Jesus
Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...
He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...
He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...
He had no army, yet kings feared him...
He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...
He committed no crime, yet they crucified him...
He was buried in a tomb, yet He still lives today...
Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us...
If you beleive and God and Jesus Christ is His son...
Then copy and paste this into your profile
If you ignore him, in the Bible, Jesus says..
"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my father in Heaven..."

I say, "Save Gas, Ride a Cullen." ;)

Werewolf wanted: buff. hot. tanned. hot. buff. fast, MAJOR hot. best friend. hot. BUFF...Jacob Black!

I'll stay up till TWILIGHT to see the NEW MOON and if I'm lucky, I'll see the ECLIPSE at BREAKING DAWN and the whole time I'm sitting with you under the MIDNIGHT SUN.

Real men don't sparkle.

Don't piss me off, or I'll provoke the Volturi and blame it on you. I bet Jane is dying to give someone pain that actually works.

Taylor Lautner+ Shirtless= HOOOT! OMG, I almost did a math problem there! :)

Me obsessed with Taylor Lautner?? pst no way! ok maybe a little. FINE! I luv u Taylor!!

I have OTD (Obsessive Twilight Disorder) it's very common, you can Google it

Some people call the police. I call the Volturi. ;)

Twilight: ruining regular boys chances across the globe since October 5th 2005

This story is Amazing

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back."The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."

"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

Friends ask for food, best friends ask for for money

Friends help you when you get in a fight, best friends are the reason you're fighting

Three words eight letters is I Love you and so is I Hate you

When your teacher says 'There are no wrong answers', deep down you know he/she's lying

Friends help you when you break up with a dude, best friends are the reason you guys broke up

Try Not to Cry

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I have to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
Students Who Were Lost

Please if you would,
Don't smash this on the ground.

If you pass this on,

Maybe people will cry,

Just keep this in your heart,

For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".

Now you have 2 choices,

1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
"Try Not To Cry"
2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how
cold-hearted you really are...

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile

If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bucesae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

If you can read the message above paste it in your profile

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with "Quit while you're ahead"?

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (That's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos:!...You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Well...duh, a bit late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (I was hoping it was going to be frozen... darn.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And...I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash!!...)
(In reality, they are forced to do that due to people with peanut and nut allergies. If they don't...MAJOR LAWSUITS!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

(\)_(/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination! (Bunny rocks!!)

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever stared at someone for a really long time for no reason, put this in your profile

95 percent of teens worry about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't copy this into your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

If you have read the books and HATE the fact that they burned down the weasley house in the 6th movie and are really angry that they've practicaly ruined the first half of Book 7 by getting rid of the Weasley house copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever run into a stop sign, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever run into a stop sign more than once, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that being normal is vastly overrated, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever lost someone (dogs and hamsters count) you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone...

If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you can't figure out if these copy and paste things bug you or if you love them, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you think people labeling other people (i.e. Goth, prep) is just freaking stupid, copy paste this into your profile.

If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese", "fudge", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know the difference between "its" and "it's", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile. (um... I'm everything of that xD)

If you have music in your soul, post this into your profile. (i often hear songs i really like in my head. then, people often see me bopping back and forth my head without them hearing any music around me. then, they call me insane. then, i say thanks.)

If you're obsessed with any television series, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you often do your homework, work stuff etc. after midnight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, put it in your profile..

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile..

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than 5 consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've reread Harry Potter over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Fan fiction absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, put this in your profile.

If you actually take the time to read other people's profiles, put this in yours.

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you HATE those obnoxious preppy people PLEASE copy this into your profile.

92 of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breath anymore. Put this in your profile if yopur part of the 8 that would be laughing your butt off.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as diffrent, which is the same as unique, and unique is good. so weird is good. If you are Weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.

REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.

REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.

REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Man … we messed up … but that was fun!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.

REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget its yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.

REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.

REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.

REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Man, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk bad to the person who talks bad about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the freak out!

FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.

REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedual to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.

REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this

REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, Paper Hearts and Paper Cuts, Vampiregal22,Edward-Lover1, SPOONS Secret Agent Alice, Golden Eyed Vampire, Twilight-is-Lovee, emmettsmyfave, bellacullen1620,NarLovissaVrenshrrgn,Stalkurn writer of the north, Every1's Beta, Dallas Angel

If you have ever been grounded for staying up at all hours of the night and reading repost this (i stayed up to 7am reading FF)

The Stupid Test! Teehee. (put an x next to the one that is you, than in the end, add up all of the x's. if you have 18 or less, than u r not stupid.) p.s. this is not a real test, just something for fun!

(x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.

( ) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were not talking.

(x) You have run into a glass/screen door.

( ) You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.

(x) You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.

~total= 3

(x) You have run into a tree.

( ) It IS possible to lick your elbow

(x) You just tried to lick your elbow.

(x) You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star have the same rhythm.

(x) You just tried to sing them.

(x) You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.

(x) You have choked on your own spit.

( ) You have seen the the Matrix and still don’t get it.

(x) You didn’t notice that in the last question “the” was spelled twice

(x) You just looked at it.

( ) Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde/has blonde in it.

(x) People have called you slow.

~total so far= 12

( ) You have accidentally caught something on fire

(x) You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes/cheek.

(x) You have caught yourself drooling.

( ) You’ve fallen asleep in class

( ) If someone says “fart” you laugh.

(x) You just laughed.

~total so far= 15

(x) Sometimes you just stop thinking

(x) You tell a story and forget what you were talking about

(x) People are often shaking their heads and walking away from you

(x) You are often told to use your “inside voice”.

(x) You use your fingers to do simple math.

~total so far= 20

( ) You have eaten a bug.

(x) You are taking this test when you should be doing something important

(x) You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it

(x) You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand, pocket, head, etc.

~total so far= 23

( ) You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t even when you know it won’t happen to you.

(x) You break a lot of things.

( ) Your friends know not to use big words around you

(x) You sometimes tilt your head when you’re confused

(x) You have fallen out of your chair before

(x) When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling

~Total all together= 27

IT'S OFFICIAL- I'M DUMB! :) haha x

I cried at this . . . so please read . . .

My name is Chris
I am three
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I cant do a wrong
I cant speak at all
Or else im locked up
All day long.
When im awake im all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home
When my mommy does come home
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe ill just get
One whipping tonight.
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlies bar
I hear him curse
My name is called
I press myself
Against the wall
I try to hide
From his evil eyes
Im so afraid now
I'm starting to cry
He finds me weeping
Calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault
He suffers at work
He slaps and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And run to the door
Hes already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken,
'Im sorry!', I scream
But its now much to late
His face has been twisted
Into a unimaginable shape
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
O please God, have mercy!
O please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor
My name is Chris I am three,
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me. . .

At least 5 children each day

from around the world

die from child abuse

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile.

-- You know you live in 2009 when... --

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or myspace

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did (i fell 4 it! XD)

Love vs. Sex

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone.

She wasn't afraid because it wasa small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, half-way down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray, askingfor God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day,she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.

The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.

When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her.

She asked if they would ask the manone question.

Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone.

Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God? Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly believe in God...
Yes there is many people in the world. But god walks beside you always.

READ THIS: Funni~
Before Marriage - - -
Boy: "Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait."
Girl: "Do you want me to leave?"
Boy: "NO! Don't even think about it."
Girl: "Do you love me?"
Boy: "Of course! Over and over!"
Girl: "Have you ever cheated on me?"
Boy: "NO! Why are you even asking?"
Girl: "Will you kiss me?"
Boy: "Every chance I get!"
Girl: "Will you hit me?"
Boy: "Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!"
Girl: "Can I trust you?"
Boy: "Yes."
Girl: "Darling!"
After marriage - - - simply read from bottom to top

Who are you?

(I'm in BOLD)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual. (depends on how you look at me)
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
.I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.
I play VIDEO GAMES so I MUST be a LOSER.
I'm a TOMBOY so I MUST be a homosexual that's looking for attention.

If you hate stereotypes and think people should just SHUT UP AND STOP, POST THIS!

• 19 ways to win a girls heart •
1. Hugs from behind.
2. Grab her hand when you walk next to each other(don't make her grab yours).
3. When standing, wrap your arms around her.
4. Cuddle with her.
5. DON'T FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING.
6. Write little notes.
7. Compliment her Honestly.
8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.
9. Be super sweet to her.
10. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
11. Comfort her when she cries.
12. Wipe away her tears
13. Love her with all your heart.
14. Pick her up and flirt with her (she'll scream and say put me down but really she loves it).
15. Be a gentleman (hold the door for her).
16. Don't let your friends talk trash about her, it'll get back 2 her!
DONT ever act diff in front of ur friends than u r when its just u and her!!!!
17. Take her for a long walk at night!
18. Always bring a blanket where ever you go outside when its cold to comfort her and hold her close
19. NEVER LIE TO HER!!!!!! because then she will think everything you ever said to her was a lie, even i love you
◘Girls - repost this if you think it's sweet
◘Guys - repost this if you would do any of it

Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL,

Calling me STUPID won't make you SMART,

Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG,

Calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY,

Calling me POOR won't make you RICH,

Calling me FAT wont make you SKINNY,

Calling me UNCOOL wont make you COOL,

So why bother?

Y BOIZ SHOULDN'T CHEAT
There was once a girl named Ashley who
had a
boyfriend
named
Jack.

Jack was the most popular guy in school.
The
three most
popular
girls were
Courtney, ASHLEY, and Emma. Jack
thought of
Ashley as
OKAY,
but
he REALLy
liked Courtney. Courtney liked jack also.
Well of
course
she
did, everyone
did!

Ashley and Courtney were worst enemies.
Courtney tried to
steal
Jack away
everytime she had a chance to. One day,
Courtney asked
Jack
if
he wanted
to
go to the movies. Ashley heard
everything...what
movie
theatre
and what
time.

Ashley approached the movies that night
and
followed Jack
and
Courtney.
Ashley sat right behind them. she
watched them
get close
to
each
other and
kiss...not only kiss, but practically get it
on in the
theatre.
Courtney
told jack "Do you want to come to my
place and
skip this
boring
movie?" He
replied "hell yes."

Ashley had peeked through Courtney's
window.
Jack and
her
were

messing
around and Ashley watched the whole
thing.

The next day at school Ashley wasn't
there. For
the next
few
days Ashley
wasn't there. A week later her mother
found her in
her
closet
dead... she
commited suicide because she had loved
Jack so
much.
Next
to
ashley's dead
body was a note.

A note that read: My dearest Jack, I
watched you
at the
movie
and at
Courtney's house and I will continue to
watch you.
I never
thought you
would
do something like this to me. I really
loved you
jack. I
died
for you just
like Jesus died for us.

Always with you, Ashley

Please foward this or Ashley will
haunt
you and try
to kill you because she wants everyone to
know
about
Courtney.

Thank you

Edward Cullen: Stupider than you Since 1901

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Carlisle Cullen: Fighting temptation since the 1660s

Alice Cullen: Awesomer than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Emmett Cullen:Stronger than you since 1916

Bella Swan/Cullen: Luckier than you since 1987

Renesmee Cullen: More unique than you since 2006

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies.
x You love jeans.
xDogs are better than cats.
xIt's hilarious when people get hurt.
xYou've played with/against boys on a team.
xShopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
xYou own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.- still am
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.- dont got one
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
xBaggy pants are cool to wear.
xIt's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
xGreen, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
xYou love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun.
xTalk with food in your mouth.
sleep with your socks on at night--sometimes

TOTAL:11

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink
xYou Go to your mom for advice.
xYou consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
xYou don't like the movie Star Wars.
xYou were in gymnastics/dance.
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
xYou smile a lot more than you should.
xYou have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
x You love the movies.
xUsed to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing.

TOTAL: 8

Things to do on an Elevator

1.CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2.STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3.WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4.GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5.MEOW occasionally.

6.STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7.SAY 'DING' at each floor.

8.SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9.MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10.STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11.WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12.TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13.DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14.WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15.PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16.ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17.HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18.DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19.BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20.PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21.SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22.CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

23.Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

24. Dress up in a long black cloak with a hood, stare at everyone, and in a demonic voice announce: "It is time..."

~~10 Ways To Be S-T-U-P-I-D:

1. Ask For Directions To A Place Youre Already At.
2. Try To Order Pizza From McDonalds.
3. Get Hit By A Parked Car.
4. Try To Watch Saturday Cartoons On A Thursday.
5. Try To Sell Your Money.
6. Try To Play The Alphabet On The Piano.
7. Eat All You Can Eat At A Store.
8. Get Into A Fight With Yourself And Lose.
9. Try To Go Swimming Without Getting Wet.
10. Ask For Diet Water At A Restaurant

TO ANNOY YOUR PARENTS!

1. Follow them around the house everywhere.
2. Moo when they say your name.
3. Pretend to have amnesia.
4. Say everything backwards.
5. Run into walls.
6. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.
7. Go into their room at 4 in the morning and say "Good Morning Sunshine!"
8. Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder.
9. Say all of the words in a film.
10. Pluck someone's hair out and yell "DNA!"
11. Wear a sticker that says "I'm retarded!"
12. Talk to a pen.
13. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to ALL the time.
14. Try and climb the wall.
15. In public yell "NO MUM I WILL NOT KISS YOU!"
16. Put pegs on your nose and eyes.
17. Switch the light button on and off for awhile. Then say "Oh...I get it!"
18. Eat your hair.
19. When you shower or bath yell "I'm drowning!"
20. At everything they say yell "LIAR!"
21. Pretend to be a phone.
22. Try to swim in the floor.
23. Tap on their door all night.

Darth Vader- "Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!"
Luke Skywalker- "Nah, the rebels have cake."
Darth Vader- "ooh! Can I be a rebel?!"

You Say Pink
I Say Black
You Say Paris Hilton
I Say Amy Lee
You Say Zac Efron
I Say Gerard Way
You Say Pop
I Say Rock
You Say I'm Weird
I Say I'm Different

._.s_s _ If you're a girl and you've ever
_s_s_s³ _ beaten a guy in an arm wrestle,
_.s_ .s_ s³ _ copy the Flaming Heart of
_s³_.s_ .³ _ Youthfulness into your profile!
_..._... ... ... ._s³_ ³ _ (sorry girls only)
_s_s³_ ³,
_s_³s_..
_³s._³s ,
_³._³s .s_ ..
_._³_ s³
_³s_³s³_ s³
_³s_s_ s
_s._s³_.s ³_
_s..s ³_
_s.ss _
_s³
_ssssssssssss
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Do it one by one, don't look ahead!

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2.Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, or yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

Are you done?

If so scroll down

(don't cheat- -)

THE ANSWERS

1. You are completly in love with this person

2. If you choose

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black: You are conservitive and agressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and and love kisses and affection from the ones you love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

3. If your initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is is soon to blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in:

Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relashonship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.

July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experiance a major life changing experiance for the good.

Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soulmate.

5. If you choose...

Black: Your life will take on in a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides with you and would do anything for you, but may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. THis is how many close friends you will have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose

California: You like adventure.

Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...

Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come before your next birthday

╔═╦══╦═╗ Put this on your
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if you think lemons shall rule the world copy and paste this into your profile

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Your Heart in Black by LilyEverlasting reviews
BEING REWRITTEN. AU. After a heated affair with Republic City's most influential and notorious Chief of Police comes to a painful end, Sokka finds out he's a father. Dealing with leaving his wife and still reeling from the death of their young son, smoothing things out with Toph Beifong, hell-bent on keeping Sokka at a distance, isn't going to be any easier. Warnings INSIDE
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 19,390 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 133 - Updated: 2/2/2015 - Published: 4/30/2012 - Sokka, Toph
Music of My Heart by Miss.PirateQueen reviews
Bella and Jasper fall for each other, but Edwards feelings for Bella are just as strong as ever. Only 3 problems, Ed's with Alice. Bella hates Edward, and Jasper doesn't want Edward anywhere near Bella. Who will win Bellas heart, or will it be broken? BXJ
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 36,222 - Reviews: 368 - Favs: 193 - Follows: 199 - Updated: 5/15/2013 - Published: 7/17/2008 - Bella, Jasper
Arguments Between a Vampire and a Werewolf by Angry Lobster reviews
Edward and Jacob argue about sparkling, intimate biting, and various other subjects. Funny drabbles.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 23 - Words: 12,787 - Reviews: 1075 - Favs: 613 - Follows: 393 - Updated: 8/22/2012 - Published: 10/3/2008 - Edward, Jacob
A Good Morning by A Burning City reviews
HMC-Now a series of one-shots featuring the Jenkins family. Fluffy.
Diana Wynne Jones - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,152 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 8/1/2012 - Published: 5/23/2012
Memos from the Fire Lord by CrayolaBox16 reviews
Zuko sets up a memo board for all the staff in the palace. What happens when the Gaang, and uncle Iroh, get hold of it? Pink here! A one shot!
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,681 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/3/2012 - Zuko, Katara - Complete
Nightmare by Avengenerd reviews
Juvia's father is not exactly a fan of Juvia... when he comes to Fairy Tail, what will happen? Gruvia, GajeelxLevy
Fairy Tail - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,552 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 14 - Published: 5/28/2012 - Gray F., Juvia L. - Complete
Their Song by Really Big Hat reviews
Take me back to the house in the backyard tree, said you'd beat me up, you were bigger than me. You never did, you never did. Take me back when our world was one block wide, I dared you to kiss me and ran when you tried. Just two kids, you and I...
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,660 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/28/2012 - Sokka, Toph - Complete
Sick by CrayolaBox16 reviews
Zuko is sick. The gang takes turns trying to make him feel better. One shot! Pink here! Read and Review!
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,922 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 16 - Published: 5/26/2012 - Zuko, Katara - Complete
In their sleep by VerMa reviews
One-shot. In their sleep, people can do various things - snore, move around, mutter under their breaths or, as Velma finds out, reveal their closely-guarded secrets... Based on characters by Hanna-Barbera.
Scooby Doo - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 753 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/18/2012 - [Velma, Shaggy] - Complete
Distance by oopsidontusethisaccountanymore reviews
Toph loves Sokka. Sokka loves Suki. The story of their relationship. T for suggestive themes, Tokka, my theory on Lin's father.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 854 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 6 - Published: 5/14/2012 - [Toph, Sokka] Suki - Complete
Fire Eye'd Boy by Ivory Muse reviews
"Their destinies have been intertwined ever since they first met- it was up to them to decide if they would have the bond of enemies, or lovers." Fifty sentences on Zuko and Aang.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,456 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/7/2012 - Zuko, Aang - Complete
Never Seen Blue by Alabaster86 reviews
Despite her best efforts, Toph still has feelings for Sokka. An oblivious Sokka runs to her whenever things go wrong with Suki. It's time Toph finally learned to let go.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,841 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 5/4/2012 - Published: 4/13/2012 - Toph, Sokka - Complete
Costume by flirtyalphonse reviews
Zuko and Aang have set up an orphanage for children after the war. Zuko visits one and runs into a familiar young boy who still thinks his scar is on the wrong side!
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,124 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 9 - Published: 4/28/2012 - Zuko, Aang - Complete
Shipping Wars by loves2readandwrite reviews
It's just a random story that focuses on the "war" between Zutarians and Kataangers. I'm really sorry if it offends anyone.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 451 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/24/2012 - Aang, Zuko - Complete
Aurora by Rianne Pond reviews
"Romance doesn't exist," Sokka had said. "Its all science if you think about it, nature's evolution," he'd told the gang while stroking his bare chin. Toph thought it was funny that he'd said such a thing.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,329 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 7 - Published: 4/15/2012 - Toph, Sokka - Complete
The Ultimate Betrayal by EddiesGirlx reviews
When Bella and Jasper find out Alice and Edward cheated on them how will they react? T but contains sexual themes. Please read! Jasper/Bella later on.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 22 - Words: 17,090 - Reviews: 367 - Favs: 283 - Follows: 196 - Updated: 3/27/2012 - Published: 6/20/2009 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
Demons by See Them Fly reviews
Everyone has their own demons. When Bella wakes up next to her ex-boyfriend's brother, both are forced to confront their demons from five years ago in order to move into the future. All human. OOC. Rated M.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 15 - Words: 121,600 - Reviews: 500 - Favs: 374 - Follows: 557 - Updated: 3/21/2012 - Published: 4/24/2011 - Jasper, Bella
Thank You For Saving Me by chick-2010 reviews
What happens when Bella gets her heart broken again?. Devastated after finding out about Edward and Alice s affair, Bella tries to commit suicide only to be saved by Jasper. Now Bella is a vampire,can she and Jasper heal and love again?.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 28 - Words: 35,985 - Reviews: 465 - Favs: 530 - Follows: 372 - Updated: 2/18/2012 - Published: 7/18/2010 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
My Major Mate by Renesmee apc reviews
In an unloving world of vampires, how will young 15 year old Bella survive when no one is their to protect her. Until she finds out her mate is the Vampire Ruler...Major Jasper Whitlock. Comment and for now it's T but will probable become M!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 10 - Words: 6,861 - Reviews: 171 - Favs: 204 - Follows: 241 - Updated: 1/27/2012 - Published: 3/17/2011 - Jasper, Bella
How I Loved You by EstelPax reviews
Bella remembering, Jasper
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 619 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/30/2011 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Cabbages by Obscurite-Asile reviews
Why does Kinosho it was the first name I thought of hate it when his cabbage is destroyed? Easy, it reminds him of his childhood.Warning, reference to rape.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 355 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/29/2011 - Cabbage Merchant - Complete
I want to hold your hand by thomlina reviews
Phineas and Isabella go on a blind date set up by The Fireside Girls. What will happen? Will Phineas see Isabella in a different light?
Phineas and Ferb - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 617 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/31/2011 - Phineas, Isabella - Complete
As Long As Rose Is Here by LittleDhampirOnFire reviews
Adrian Ivashkov. Soul Searching. Lost Loves. Murder. Pain. Redemption. Post Last Sacrifice
Vampire Academy - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,749 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 6/23/2011 - Published: 2/27/2011 - Adrian I., Rose H.
What I Tell Myself by The Love Actually Contest reviews
She's questions and bossiness and key lime pie. I tell myself not to like her— to avoid her at all costs. But the girl won't leave me alone. And I don't think I want her to.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,226 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/16/2011 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
Live Your Life Dot Com by Jasper's Guardian Angel reviews
Jasper and Bella get bored. Jasper and Bella make online computer game. Now they're not bored anymore. Oh and the sky is the limit on this game so ANYTHING can happen, and it almost always does. Humor, Conon pairings.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 845 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 6/3/2011 - Published: 7/15/2009 - Bella, Jasper
Twilight: Truth or Dare by Autumnstar17 reviews
What will happen when you've got the entire cast of Twilight locked in a room with a questionably sane director and an infinite number of truths and dares? Well, there's only one way to find out.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 43,067 - Reviews: 300 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 5/1/2011 - Published: 7/19/2010 - Complete
Twilight Chat Room by Hypnotized.By.Golden.Eyes reviews
The characters of Twilight chat about whatever they want. Why? Because they can!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 44 - Words: 56,702 - Reviews: 818 - Favs: 277 - Follows: 158 - Updated: 4/13/2011 - Published: 2/19/2009
No Cullen's? No Twilight by YourDemonicSmile reviews
Have you ever wondered what would happen in Twilight if the Cullen's weren't there? What if the Cullen's were never vampires? "No Cullen's? No Twilight" reveals all. With introduction by Jacob Black! R&R Please!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Friendship - Chapters: 10 - Words: 15,566 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/5/2011 - Published: 7/5/2010 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
Worth It by LetItRock reviews
One Shot. We heard Jasper's words in those few short lines, but never his thoughts. Maybe that silence can be broken, too. "'I can feel what you're feeling now –' I told her, trying to put it into words...'and you are worth it.'"
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 401 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 7 - Published: 4/2/2011 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
The years by Pitonisa reviews
Blackwater oneshot
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 955 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/7/2011 - Leah, Jacob - Complete
Cinderbella by green-gremlin reviews
Once upon a time lived a young girl... A Twilight fairy tale based on Cinderella. Very AU. T just to be sure.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,649 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 13 - Published: 1/29/2011 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Sincerely Yours by Jaspersgirl35 reviews
Sincerely Hers...is all he felt...as he held her heart safe from all harm.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 8,075 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 1/24/2011 - Published: 4/8/2010 - Bella, Jasper
the weakness in me by Maroon-dragon reviews
the first two are bella and Jasper their views on the affair they are having...and the others are one-shots I wrote about the couple...with different storylines...please give me some advice on how to improve...and whether you liked the oneshots...
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,182 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/11/2011 - Published: 8/19/2009 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
Kisses of Blackberry and Sugar by A Writer Called Claire reviews
Almost 3 years after the Cullens leave Bella in Forks, Jasper sets out to find Bella. He finds the new Bella in Boston,MA. She's spunky, a bit bitchy, and full of moxie. What first starts as a friendship turns into more for the two. Lemons, for sure!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 69 - Reviews: 173 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 184 - Updated: 12/23/2010 - Published: 4/12/2010 - Bella, Jasper
Break a Leg by bailey1234 reviews
Remember, I'm not the girl you once knew," 2 years after they left I learned something about myself. I'm not weak, my path was laid out for me, another change was made. 16 years later, I find follow my path. New Moon AU
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 42,991 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 110 - Updated: 12/18/2010 - Published: 6/29/2009 - Bella, Jasper
Letters by givemesomevamp reviews
My contribution to Fandom for Preemies. NM/AU Rated M just to be safe.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,568 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 159 - Follows: 33 - Published: 12/15/2010 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Let Go by Crushed Hale.x reviews
AU. Becasue when someone gave up on her, she returned the favour.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 531 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/29/2010 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Speak Now by Anjie99 reviews
Jace and Aline are about to be bound forever. Will Clary speak now or forever hold her peace? A story inspired by The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare and Speak Now by Taylor Swift.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,463 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 6 - Published: 11/26/2010 - Clary F., Jace W., Aline P. - Complete
Whitlock by alison94 reviews
Short one-shot. What if Bella, a vampire, already knew Jasper? What would happen if she ran into the Cullens one day? Not really a tragedy, just sad.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 496 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 33 - Published: 11/11/2010 - Bella, Jasper
Somewhere in Brooklyn by D.L.Belikova reviews
Based on the song Somewhere in Brooklyn by Bruno Mars. All human. One-Shot. Short, but it't all i could come up with.
Vampire Academy - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,898 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 5 - Published: 11/8/2010 - Dimitri B., Rose H. - Complete
Every single day of forever by KameeraJones reviews
"Bella listen to me put the letter opener down." He told me calmly edging over to me."Not until you listen to me! You have to stay, I love you too much for you to leave, I love you too much period!"I whispered the last part so I barely heard it. one shot
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 752 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 16 - Published: 11/4/2010 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Summer Of 69 by xXPauls4EVer23xX reviews
Bella and Jasper fall in love but he has to marry someone else one-shot!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 769 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/3/2010 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Beautiful Disaster by JaspersCherry reviews
*EVIL TWINS PICK FOR THE LOVING BELLSPER CONTEST* Jasper has suffered a cruel life by those he believed would help him. One day, when he meets Edward's new girlfriend, Bella, a new obsession appears and he is determined to take what he wants.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,540 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 13 - Published: 10/30/2010 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
Back to September by Alexandra Shinai reviews
Jasper mourns what could've, should've been for him and Bella. But it wasn't. A dog took it all. Oneshot, songfic to Back To December by Taylor Swift.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 676 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 8 - Published: 10/29/2010 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
It's My Life by The Purple Fairy Trixie
It was only a kiss. Will a friendship ever turn into something more or will their love forever stay in the shadows. I think the story is better than the summery.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,890 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 7 - Published: 10/25/2010 - Bella, Jasper
Old Flame by crazifunkicc reviews
What happens when Dimitri leaves Rose and the Academy to work for Tasha? He's in for a BIG suprise when he returns with Tasha 4 years later.
Vampire Academy - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 9,886 - Reviews: 220 - Favs: 185 - Follows: 158 - Updated: 9/28/2010 - Published: 6/11/2010 - Rose H., Dimitri B. - Complete
msn chat with the twilight cast by NessieCarlieCullen13 reviews
What happens when the cullens and some other people get on msn to chat? find out right now! just click this! i suck at summarys. but this is a REALLY GOOD story!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 3,633 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 9/22/2010 - Published: 7/18/2010 - Bella, Edward
Snow Smiled by Miss ShatterBox reviews
Poem I did for English class... I thought it was good enough to publish on site! First thing published for this account. R&R It's about when Vlad first bit Snow... and the nightmares he received from his Uncle's torture. From Tenth Grade Bleeds.
Chronicles of Vladimir Tod - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 260 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Published: 9/22/2010 - Vladimir Tod, Snow - Complete
Shadow by TeamEmmettAlice reviews
10 year old bella has family problems. and jake is the only person she cn go to for relief. until she meets the cullens.how can the cullens get bella through her tough time?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,302 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 9/12/2010 - Published: 5/3/2010 - Bella
The Adviser by angelchoo reviews
A Jasper and Bella pairing. Of secrets and advices. Of complications and consequences. Rated T for now.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,925 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 8/23/2010 - Published: 7/14/2010 - Jasper, Bella
Twilight Chatroom by SingItForTheWorld reviews
Cullen family on chatroom. 'Nuff said :D
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,222 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 8/22/2010 - Published: 6/6/2009
Bella by For Shadowed reviews
One Shot; In Jasper's POV; Jasper pines after Bella, and watches her with Edward.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 510 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/19/2010 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Vampires What! by Crazy's What I Aim For reviews
In honor of the new vampires suck movie I decided to share the reaction of the Cullen's if they saw the official trailer. Edit 6-8-13
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 666 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/18/2010 - Complete
I Hate Forks High School by ghostwriter39 reviews
I Hate Forks High School A collection of one-shots about the Cullens, and their attendance at Forks High School. Inspired by "I Hate High School" by Lyriczel I Love College remix E/B, A/J, R/E, E/C, J/R Rated T for mild language and suggestive conten
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 10,475 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/26/2010 - Published: 7/7/2010
Jacob Black is a Little Teapot Remix by Tony de la Ghetto reviews
This is a re-written version of "I m a little Teapot". This song is a nice little song for all of the Jacob-hating Team Edwards out there!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 66 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/20/2010 - Jacob, Edward - Complete
How to skip class: Cullen Style by InMyOwnWords reviews
This is how the Cullens get out of that boring, tedious place we call school.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 3,717 - Reviews: 228 - Favs: 168 - Follows: 147 - Updated: 6/15/2010 - Published: 8/4/2007
Twilight Parody Lyrics by little-miss-twilighter reviews
Artists include; Katy Perry, MCR, Muse, AAR, 30h!3, Evanescence, Taylor Swift, Snow Patrol, Paramore, RJA, Mayday Parade, Maroon 5 and many more. Sure to be something you like : Multiple POVs and story settings.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Parody/Poetry - Chapters: 66 - Words: 24,288 - Reviews: 225 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 6/12/2010 - Published: 3/7/2009
Look at the Puppets by soulspirit18 reviews
One-shot."I beg of you to let my strings fall because…everyone is looking,everyone is staring…I can feel the embarrassment…I can feel the shame…I can feel…I can feel." J and B obviously are treated like puppets by A and E.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,111 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 6 - Published: 6/3/2010 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
All The Way Down by uncomplicatedButterFLY reviews
AH - a little OOC. Adrian finally let's Rose know how he feels. Too bad, she's already taken.
Vampire Academy - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 756 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/27/2010 - Rose H., Adrian I. - Complete
Thy Brother's Wife by AzarDarkstar reviews
One Shot. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife. Much less that of your brother. Iroh/Ursa. Snapshots of what might be.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,100 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/17/2010 - Iroh, Ursa - Complete
Mixed Up Story by TheEvilSmileyFace reviews
This is a story my friend and i came up with. please read tons better than Summary!
Crossover - Twilight & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,976 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/10/2010 - Complete
Texting,Dares,and Emmet! by piamina reviews
What happens when Edward leaves bella with emmett and jasper?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 55,704 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 18 - Published: 2/21/2010 - Complete
Say All I Need by reincarnatedcrazybutterfly reviews
SONGFIC. Noncanon. Set in New Moon, three months after Edward left, Bella was taking a drive when she noticed a CD left in her not-yet-destroyed stereo. Deciding to listen to it, she hears a familiar voice singing a song that was definitely for her.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,422 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 2/4/2010 - Published: 6/15/2008 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
A Day in WalMartCullen Style by lovelymissalice reviews
Jasper is dragged to Emmett's "Day of Fun" in Wal-Mart, but to Jasper it's more of "Day in Hell" for him. Random events occur and so do humorous events.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,185 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 1/18/2010 - Published: 11/18/2009 - Jasper, Emmett
Fairy Dust by NiceIceEdward reviews
Bella is observed while reading in her meadow - very quick read. Jasper / Bella / Edward
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,002 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 8 - Published: 12/14/2009 - Bella, Jasper
The Taste of a Kiss by Insideitall reviews
I would never forget the taste of a kiss
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,254 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 5 - Published: 11/16/2009 - Jasper, Bella
Perfectly Content by i.heart.the.doctor reviews
Bella has always been in love with the one person who was always there for her through her broken childhood. How will she cope when she has to face her ghosts? Bella/Jasper AH One shot entry for The “For the Love of Jasper” One-Shot Contest
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,911 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 9 - Published: 8/31/2009 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Emo Buddies! by Dreamy Emo Poet reviews
One-Shot. bella is the new girl and takes a liking to a certain blonde hottie...aka, Jasper! just a sweet story of how they met and came to love one another. Better than it sounds, i suck at summary's. rated T for a 'bad word' Jazzie/Bella, REVIEW!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,728 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 7 - Published: 8/28/2009 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
Her Body and Your Memories by CK97 reviews
You tell yourself that this is the last time. You will not let this happen again, simply because it can’t. You are both married to other people. There is far too much at stake for this to continue. *more inside*
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 446 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/27/2009 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Playing with Jasper by FerrsureeLauren reviews
Emmett lets his imagination run away with him as he eavesdrops on Bella and Jasper.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 656 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 187 - Follows: 30 - Published: 8/3/2009 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
The Vow by Anlynne reviews
It happened... The worst possible thing to ever have happened and it was all of her fault.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,734 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/14/2009 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Just Another Cullen Chat by WhyWasISoDumb reviews
The Cullen's open a chatroom, read about the chao's that they endure in this chatroom!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,703 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 6/3/2009 - Published: 1/29/2009 - Complete
Whiskey Lullaby by HiN4-cH4n reviews
He'd sing the song as he drank, she'd sing with him and pick up his pieces until he cried himself to sleep in her arms. "And for the thousandth time she cried herself to sleep with the bottle of whiskey and ask god for forgiveness for breaking his heart"
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 859 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/29/2009 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
The List by amaXdear reviews
100 reasons Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks are cooler than Edward Cullen/Isabella Swan. People are going to hate me... Please read and flame! Edited.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,153 - Reviews: 414 - Favs: 444 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 5/21/2009 - Published: 5/15/2009 - N. Tonks, Bella - Complete
Christmas Glow by MistressLemons reviews
A Christmas present for a good friend who desired a Bella and Jasper love story. Oneshot
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,673 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/15/2009 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Why'd You Go? by The Color Ninja reviews
Dimitri chooses to accept Tasha's request... Songfic to "Goodbye"
Vampire Academy - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,743 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 5/13/2009 - Published: 4/20/2009 - Rose H., Dimitri B. - Complete
Solace in the Present of a Shadow by x.Deni.x reviews
JasperxBella. Alice is dead explanation in first paragraph , and then Bella catches Edward and Rosalie kissing I know is seems unrealistic, but bear with me . Bella becomes relient on Jasper's gift, but then he eventually stops using it. Summary sucks.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,270 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 17 - Published: 3/19/2009 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Bad Fanfiction by yayme2012 reviews
Funny fanfic telling what you SHOULDN'T do in Twilight fanfiction... Includes JacobXBella, EmmettXBella, and my personal fave: BananasXBella! New chapters include The Movie, Yum Lemons, and 2008. Curing Twilight fanfiction, one parody at a time.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 66 - Words: 51,675 - Reviews: 2797 - Favs: 569 - Follows: 333 - Updated: 3/2/2009 - Published: 11/14/2007 - Elizabeth, Aro
Perfection by RhiScissorhands reviews
Bella was sick of perfection. She needed something less. JasperxBella One-shot. Semi sequel to TWSB,TCOHH
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 582 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/28/2009 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
Just Like Isaac by RandomDream reviews
They were, in essence, gray. Neither black nor white to each other, neither lovers nor friends… That was who they were. Jasper. Bella. Edward. Vampires. Alternate Universe. AU. Dimension Series.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,399 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/18/2009 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Chances by JasperWhitlockHale.babe2012 reviews
Jasper/Bella. Read, it's good. I've never been great at summeries, so why even try. x
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,932 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 10 - Published: 1/11/2009 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
Based On True Events by pandorasnotebook reviews
The Cullens go see the movie Twilight and the rest of the theater has be a captive audience to their constant need to narrate. Oneshot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,580 - Reviews: 320 - Favs: 408 - Follows: 68 - Published: 1/10/2009 - Complete
Weak by nikkiRA reviews
Oneshot, JasperBella/ "It doesn’t make you weak." "Maybe not... but this does."
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 497 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/2/2009 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Im Yours by AmyHale1616 reviews
Full summary inside :D JxB ExR ExA
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 658 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 11 - Published: 12/30/2008 - Bella, Jasper
Notes by Llama Mama23 reviews
Edward and Bella are caught passing notes in class. The teacher has the note read to the class. A series of embarassing events ensues, including Edward in a trunk, Bella in a gas mask, Carlisle as Tarazn, and Emmett with blue hair.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 25,990 - Reviews: 2871 - Favs: 2,061 - Follows: 973 - Updated: 12/29/2008 - Published: 5/14/2007 - Complete
UNDER ALCOHOLIC INFLUENCES by Natievans14 reviews
Bella is 16 and dating Edward Cullen, but what would happen if for Christmas Bella has to act in a play where she is a “very sexy” devil, Jasper a sexy soldier, and Edward, who had to act too, gets sick two days before the play. Want to know? Oneshot.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,208 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 9 - Published: 12/25/2008 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Time by Butterfly2389 reviews
What would have happened if Bella hadn't forgiven Edward so easily after New Moon? Just a little thing that popped into my head. This is my first story, so please be kind. Read and review please!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,723 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 24 - Published: 11/30/2008 - Bella, Jasper
Awkward Day by pandorasnotebook reviews
Awkward Day is the Cullen's favorite holiday when you add 'In my pants' or 'In bed' to the end of every sentence. Poor Edward. Oneshot!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,495 - Reviews: 400 - Favs: 469 - Follows: 69 - Published: 11/27/2008 - Complete
Fascination by Elisabeth-l reviews
Jasper has developed a certain fascination for his slip on Bella's birthday. Could he really have killed Bella that day? His conclusion has far-reaching consequences for her. "Bite me, Jasper." One-shot.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,964 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 20 - Published: 10/20/2008 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
I want a kiss! by DHeartzJasper reviews
“Bella gives me kisses every day.” “Wow. Thanks. I reaaaaally needed to know that. Thanks a lot." ED/B, J/B, AU. SEQUEL OUT.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,389 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 9/14/2008 - Published: 9/8/2008 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Give Me Back My Kiss! by DHeartzJasper reviews
Edward tries to get her back, but we all know what's going to happen... AU, J/B DON'T LIKE? DON'T READ. Sequel to I WANT A KISS
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,056 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/14/2008 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Nickelback: Follow You Home by Lady of Spring Rain reviews
Jasper shows up at Bella's house. Jasper/Bella. Part of Nickelback Mini Series.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Horror/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 666 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 8 - Published: 8/27/2008 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Nickelback: Savin' Me by Lady of Spring Rain reviews
Jasper can't live without Alice. Character Death. Part of my Nickelback Mini Series.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,015 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/27/2008 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Nickelback: Far Away by Lady of Spring Rain reviews
Jasper writes a song for Bella. Jasper/Bella. Based of Nickelback song. Part of Nickelback Mini Series.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 820 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 10 - Published: 8/27/2008 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Burn by Lady of Spring Rain reviews
A sacrafice is in order to save everyone from impending heartbreak and death. Bell/Jasp
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 579 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/26/2008 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Run Away by Lady of Spring Rain reviews
Something happens to change Bella and Jasper's relationship and causes Bella to realize where her love truely lies. Jasp/Bell
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,715 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 9 - Published: 8/25/2008 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
Major Jasper and Blackbird by Calendulam reviews
Bella talks in her sleep. Emmett gets an idea. Jasper/Bella bonding ensues.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,389 - Reviews: 401 - Favs: 1,238 - Follows: 187 - Published: 8/20/2008 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
Edward's Private Property by SalemVamPirate reviews
Bella wonders what edward hides from her.She enlists the help of Alice and Jasper.During this she gets to know Jasper and Edward a bit more.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,520 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 11 - Published: 7/29/2008 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Every rose has its thorn by pexylexy reviews
Although Bella tries to hide it, Jasper can feel it. jasper/bella
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 535 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 43 - Published: 7/17/2008 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8403 - Favs: 7,581 - Follows: 1,752 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
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Bella's Holiday reviews
On Valentine's day Bella and Alice get in a fight over Bella's Trafition. May add more if asked.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 369 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/14/2011 - Bella - Complete
Better Than Revenge reviews
A one-shot based off the Taylor Swift song Better Than Revenge
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 977 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 7 - Published: 2/14/2011 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Banned reviews
When playing a game, some of Bella's secrets come to light. Suddenly Peter and Charlotte show up. Hrough this will Jasper and Bella realize there perfect for each other or will they stay hidden in Rwards and Alice's shawdow.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,141 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 79 - Published: 2/7/2011 - Bella, Jasper
Love? reviews
Bella and Jasper are in love and they know it and theres only 2 things standing in ther way Edward and Alice watch as Bella and Jasper try to understand the confusing thing we call love
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 372 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 2/4/2011 - Published: 12/13/2010 - Bella, Jasper
September 3rd reviews
September 3rd, a Friday, this year occurred on the 2nd week of school. The day that since 2 years ago 6 students are always absent. Full Summary Inside. disclaimer i don't own twilight
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,545 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 2/4/2011 - Published: 9/9/2010
Jasper & Izzy Volturi reviews
Alice and Edward cheat. This begins a chain reaction that uncovers secrets that have been hidden for centuries. Will drama unfold of course I'm writing it
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,322 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 12/13/2010 - Published: 10/3/2010 - Bella, Jasper
Tied Together With A Smile reviews
A sad one-shot about a girl falling apart
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 556 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/9/2010 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
The Queen, The King, and The Prisoner reviews
Bella is a girl who's been abandoned by her friends and has chanelled her pain through fairy tales this her story
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 335 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/8/2010 - Bella, Jasper
The Twilight Qeustionnaire reviews
plz read tired this might not be good plz ignore those bracets my cousin wrote them see tired and acting wierd its called a backspace bequite i know what a back space is note: i do not own twilight
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 356 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8/19/2010 - Complete
Ways 2 Annoy the Twilight Characters reviews
what happens when Emmett finds a website making fun of the twilight characters
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,933 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 8/18/2010 - Published: 8/6/2010 - Complete
Percy Jackson Harry Potter and Twilight Online reviews
This is what happens when the characters of twilight percy jackson and harry potter in the same chatroom
Crossover - Twilight & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,278 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 8/11/2010 - Published: 7/21/2010 - Complete
Twilight Connected reviews
The twilight characters in chatrooms on twitter on tumblr and emailing each other what could happen hint anything and everything note will have story bits just so you know
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 626 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/6/2010 - Complete