Kenny's Goddess
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Joined 11-05-00, id: 24513
Author has written 37 stories for South Park, Fanfiction Poetry, Redwall, Parodies and Spoofs, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Neopets.
DISCLAIMER: All information in this profile is mine and mine alone. Obviously...considering it's my profile. However, I write this because a lot of people copy and paste my profile and put it in their bio and then neglect to change the information I have written. I don't mind if you use this format...someone would have done it sooner or later...but please change the information when you do so, okay? Okay. Thanks.

With that said...hello there! Welcome to my domain. Bathrooms are on the right, and the cafeteria is on the left. Oh, and the dorms are straight ahead. If you wanna read everything, you're going to be here a while. But, while you're reading the might as well find out some more about me. ^^


~All About KG~

Name: My real name is...Cassie! YES! After two years on this site you finally know. IT IS AN EVIL NAME! Plus it's not even my full name...which is MORE evil! I HATE IT! Hate...HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE! I hate my last name too, which I'm not telling you! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And I hate my middle name...which is LYN! RAGH! How annoying. -_-; It's the same as my MOM's! Mom is very creative. :bites someone's head off: Ah well...stuck with it, I suppose.

Nicknames: Cassie ( actual name is a nickname...), Cass, Cass the Ass, Kenny's Goddess, KG, Kage, Namir, Nammy, Jade, Swifty, Cheetah, Cricket, Kat, Pie Queen, "That South Park Girl", Wooby, Goober, Lily, Squinty, and some others, lol.

Were Name: Namir Jade Swiftpaw. It's a shiny name, is it not? It's the pen name for my profile (minus the "Jade", of course. I are lazy. ;P) Anyways, Namir means "swift cat" in some language that I'll probably never know. Obviously, Jade is a semi-precious green rock. Swiftpaw just...accents the swiftness, dammit! I'm fast. ;P For...short distances. Mwah! I can't run far. But yeeeeeeeeah...there's that!

Were species: A DOMESTIC CAT! Mew. I'm so cool. :P Actually, I don't know many other kitty weres who are domestic cats...just a few off a message board I go to. And it's other person, lol. But my species of cat is a Bombay, which is a sleek, oriental type of black cat. Obviously, I'm black. :P With purple eyes. AND I DON'T CARE IF YOU THINK THAT CAN'T HAPPEN! IT'S MY SPECIES! MINE! But yeppers! That's meeeeeeeeee...

Age: 18...YES! FEAR MY LEGAL ADULTNESS! I can buy porn! I can buy cigarettes! I can buy lottery tickets! :pause: ...A-and too bad I am too much of a goody-two shoes to use my priveledges. ...Oh yeah! I can vote, too. ^^;

DOB: November 10, 1984. And ya know why there are so many November birthdays? Because everyone does the nasty on Valentine's Day...and guess how many months Feburary is from November...XP

Astrological Sign: Scorpio! Scorpio's are introverted, quiet, and passionate. All of which I am. So I guess I am a pretty good example of my sign. ^^; I'm right in the middle of Scorpio...I guess that's probably why.

Chinese Year: The year of the RAT! 1984 is the year of the rat. Isn't that exciting, kids? According to the Chinese, I should be a small rodent with large teeth. XP I really like rats...they're cute!

Location: Bradford, Vermont, USA, North America, Western Hemisphere, Planet Earth, the Solar System, the Milky Way Galaxy, the Virgo Supercluster, the Universe. How's that for exact? ^^;

Natural Hair Color: Reddish brownish, with a tiny bit of blonde. ONLY A TINY BIT! :glares around: Hee, but now it has more blonde, since I got it highlighted! Mwah!

Eye Color: Hazel! But they're steadily getting more green, now that I look at them...and they get this weird grayish green color sometimes! My eyes are screwed up! They look yellowish sometimes ex-boyfriend said they were like cat eyes, and Erin said they were freaky. :P

Nationality: American, unfortunately...I'm so boring! Although, bloodwise, I'm 100% German. I like sauerkraut. XP

Religous Affliation: NONE! I don't give a flying monkey about religion, to be quite honest. And I am perfectly happy without it! So many people seem baffled (especially if they're insanely Christian zealots...grrr...) by this. YOU DON'T NEED RELIGION TO MAKE YOU HAPPY! But, if someone is curious about my religous background...I'm a Catholic dropout. :P

Popularity: Well, on the internet it's rather high! ...But sadly, the internet is not life. And therefore I must crawl back into the LOSER ranks I inhabit at my school! XD Ha! Not like that bothers me! I hate those stuck up meanies anyway! ;P

Love Interests: Hee, there's this kid that I have had a crush on for like, four years...and I am far too chicken to ever talk to him because...I just am. XP My real love interests, however, will always be Cosmo, Kenny, Pierce Brosnan, and Tails! XD

Likes: PIE! ^^ Snorkels, shiny objects, writing, singing, acting, drawing, reading, hanging out with mah pals Cait and Erin, talking to people OL (both new and old!), movies, spies, James Bond, Pierce Brosnan, cartoons, South Park, Kenny, Tails, video games, Pokémon ('specially Butterfree!), the BARENAKED LADIES, cats, snakes, schnauzers, Australia, cappichino, The Fairly Oddparents, COSMO, Spree, and WINTERGREENS! :D ...And some more stuff I can't think of, lol

Dislikes: School, structure, America (most of the time), conformists, people (again, most of the time), fakers, preps/cheerleaders/ANYONE with an annoying amount of spirit, most bugs, vegetables, most fruit, Macs, Windows (grr, evil system registry! I HATE YOU!), math, history (who gives a crap about old dead people?), confrontation, all of my ex-boyfriends, and some other stuff...

Personality: I'm crazy! Being cooped up in the house all the time leads to craziness...or so everyone tells me. I would just like to think that I'm a fairly free-spirited person, but people like to diagnose that nowadays, so I guess it really doesn't matter...:P I'm also very nice. Overly nice, infact, and I am not saying that in a bragging way. I hate it. I'm nice to people who have treated me like crap and fact, I am still friends with someone who said one of the nastiest things anyone has said about me in my entire life. I hate violence - I'm very much a non-confrontationalist (Christ, that word is a mouthful). There is nothing I hate more than trying to/having to fight with someone. So...I don't. ^^; Which is a bad thing, because I end up getting walked all over in the end. Murrr. Ah well. I'm immensely self-critical - of my writing, my looks, my drawing...everything. I know it's good - but I can't bring myself to tell people that. That brings me to another thing - I'm horribly modest. And insanely shy. I can't talk to males...especially males I like. I end up muttering to myself and talking to a wall. :P I'm a hopeless romantic...and...yeah. :P I ramble too much. As if you couldn't tell...

Generic School Label: Erm, loner would be the first one to come to mind. Or maybe loser. XP Actually, I think the most famous one I have is "resident lesbian". :falls over laughing: How I laugh at the shallow stupidity of the people who inhabit my school. Based on my clothes, I guess one could call me the love child between three way with a skater, a prep, and a hippie, if that makes sense. XP But I guess if there was one word that people would label me would be "unique". LOL

Generic Online Label: LOL! A lot of people know me as a psycho from THH, FSP, and KnK (if you know me well enough, lol, you will know what those places are). On Werenation, I am the pie loving kitty who everyone thinks is crazy. I guess it would typically be the psycho, but on the SP messageboards I would go on, I was the peacemaker. On here, I'm the poet. XP That's really it, though. But a lot of people tend to think I'm a bit one dimentional on the internet (with the pide thing) and that bothers me. So I always let other people know that there is more to me than pastry. ;P

Fears: Oh man. I have so many. First off, I'll be honest - I'm afraid of the dark at 18 years old. Sad, isn't it? I just don't feel safe in my basement where there is no one else...I used to be fine in the dark. I'm petrified...and I mean petrified of ladders. I can't even look at a ladder that's taller than me without starting to shake. It's not heights, either - I can go on Ferris Wheels and stuff and be fine. It's the ladders, man! They're out to get me... :shifty eyes: I'm also afraid of covered bridges. They're SCARY! I hate driving over bridges in general, actually. I always think they are going to break. I'm afraid of flying. I'm almost more scared of bees than I am of ladders...but not quite. I'm afraid of spiders. I'm afraid of the woods at night. I'm afraid of...yeah. Lots of stuff...I'm a wuss. XP

~Ways To Contact KG~

AIM: Shiny Spacesuit, Namir Swiftpaw, Moonpebble KG, Pie Queen KG, Tails Goddess, SP Fic Writer, Squeezykenny. I just switched my screen name to Shiny Spacesuit, so that's the one I will be on the most now...the others are either old screen names or backups just incase I get warned into oblivion. Or secret SNs for when I don't want anyone to find me. ;P Plus I'm on AIM all the time. Seriously...chances are if you want to talk to me, I'm availible. Oh, and I have my uber-secret screen name that only special people can get. ;P If you want to be a special person...get to know me and maybe one day you will get the pleasure of knowing my uber-secret screen name. ^^ (NO! I gave out my uber-secret SN! It's Shiny Spacesuit! XP Ah well!)

MSN: squeezykenny@. I believe my username on there at the moment is "Namir, champion of pie". I'm rarely ever on MSN anymore, though...

Yahoo: Kennys_Goddess. I'm almost never on Yahoo either, though...unless I feel like heading into a chat room and harrassing people...^^

ICQ: 83321099. I am hardly ever on ICQ, either. I really only got the stupid thing so I could talk to one of my past ex-boyfriends on it. But, if you REALLY wanna talk to me, and you only have ICQ, let me know and I'll get on it just for you. :P

Alternate Email Addresses: Kennys_Goddess@, MoonlightGoddess15@, and some others. ;P I never check them though, so you're better off sending everything to my hotmail address.

Phone Number and Address: I would only ever give this out to people who wanted to give me money (lol) or if someone got to know me so well that they wanted to send me things. ^^ Er...I mean...get things from me! Yeah...that's the ticket...XP

~KG's Hobbies~

Writing: Obviously I like to write or else I would not be on Durrr. :P I write a lot! I've been writing ever since I can remember. My first fanfic was back when I was 7...I wrote a play about Mario and his friends. XP I used to be uber-obsessed with Nintendo. I still am, lol. But not to the writing extent I was. I've been writing poems first one was in 4th grade. But I didn't really revisit poetry again after that until 8th grade, and even then, I didn't REALLY start writing them until 10th. Most of the poems on here are from 10th grade on. I'm trying to work on the very slow and agonizing process of getting published. And I will be someday. It's my goal to have at least one book before the day I die.

Drawing: I draw, kinda...I like to do it, but I really sux0rs. I really like to draw anime, but I'm trying to do some animals now. I ONLY draw cartoons! I CANNOT draw realistically to save my life. I like to art trade with people and stuff, and if I am REALLY bored, I'll do requests...but...meh! I would never make anyone pay for my work - it's definitely NOT that good. Some of my friends, though...O_O; The one thing I can draw is South Park style! Whee! :P

Singing: I sing! ...Crappily. :P I've only been singing since 8th grade...I never thought I had any talent until then, lol. My entire family is musically inept - none of them can carry a tune. So, naturally, I thought I was the same...but I joined chorus and they were like..."Wow, you're good, and blah blah blah..." They're liars. :P I'm in our school's Advanced Chorus and I made the state regional choir so...yay! I sing mainly alto, but recently I've been singing tenor (that's what I got into the other chorus as), but I sing anything from Bass 1 to Soprano 1. Fwee!

Acting: I LOVE ACTING! I love doing the plays at school! I've only been in three plays in my entire life, lol...I was a deaf-mute in "The Madwoman of Chaillot", Puck in "A Midsummer's Night's Dream" and a pirate in "Pirates of Penzance". I had a role as Anybodys in "West Side Story" but the play and school proved to be too much that year. Also, I'm playing Jonathon in "Arsenic and Old Lace", which is the play we're preforming. It's something I hope to continue doing in college. =)

Sleeping: What? Sleeping can be a least I consider it one. XP I can sleep anywhere at anytime if I want to. I have an erratic sleeping pattern anyway. Stay up really late, get up as late as possible, stay awake for days at a, considering how little time I spend is a hobby! :P

Reading: I love to read...especially poetry! I like reading other people's work on this site. I make a point of going out and finding about ten or so poems a day to read, review, and critique. It makes me a happy panda. I like to read for pleasure out of books, too. My favorite book categories are suspense, mystery, and fantasy. :P Not much of a romance buff - even though I love to write it. ^^;

Internet: Yes, the Internet is a hobby. I enjoy making webpages. XP I have my own domain name that I share with the author Squeezystan (who is also my best IRL...nyar!). I know HTML, a little bit of Java Script, a little DHTML, and some other stuff. Nothing special, though. I'm trying to learn how to make more things and use it better. I also have an obsession with online message boards. I run my own (along with Squeezystan) and post at a few more...and I also really like chatting online. And reading lovely stories on this site, of course. ^^;

Eating: "This is my dog...Eat. He eats...HEADS!" LMAO. Eating is definitely a hobby! ^^ I like to try different foods, but I usually end up hating them, lol, so I come off as really picky. The weirdest food I ever ate was snails. :shudder: Ugh...those and fish eggs. And sushi. O_O;

~KG's Favorites~

Cartoons: South Park is really awesome, yah? I LOVE IT! I love it almost more than anything. My entire room is a South Park shrine, LOL...I scare people who come to my house! ^^ And I LOVE THE FAIRLY ODDPARENTS! That's my favorite, favorite show! I think I might like it even more than South Park now...:shrugs: Cosmo ROCKS! XD And I really like Spongebob Squarepants and Invader Zim...

Characters: My favorite character is Cosmo, from the Fairly Oddparents, followed extremely closely by Kenny McCormick, from South Park, and Miles "Tails" Prower, from Sonic the Hedgehog. I LOVE COSMO! I love any character that's stupid. XP

Couples/Parings: Ooo. This is new...errr, well for South Park I like Stan/Wendy (even though I dislike Wendy...I can't see Stan with anyone else!) and Kyle/Rebecca. I can see the idea of the Kyle/Bebe relationship, but Kyle adamantly says he doesn't like Bebe. Bebe only likes him. However, he does like Rebecca, and she kissed him, so I'm sticking with them. I don't really like South Park yaoi, either. o_O Stan/Kyle, Kyle/Kenny, Butters/Pip, Damien/Pip, Kenny/Cartman...eeee! :runs: For Digimon, I like Tai/Sora (I know NONE of their Japanese names, so NYAR!), Mimi/Matt, and TK/Kari. I'm more of a fan of first season Digimon, anyways. ^^ For Sonic, I like Sonic/Sally, Tails/Rouge (of course, I'm biased...but I like it!), Knuckles/Tikal, and Amy/Shadow. I tolerate Amy/Sonic (I'm writing that in my Sonic fic just because...well...I am! :P) and Amy/Tails...and I HATE...let's put more emphasis on this though...I HATE Sonic yaoi! ESPECIALLY Tails/Sonic! IT'S WRONG! ...Not that I hate all's just that I have found that Sonic yaoi has the tendency to be the most...disturbing and horribly out of character yaoi there is. And okay...for the Fairly Oddparents...there is NOTHING that works other than Cosmo/Wanda, Timmy/Tootie, and Mark/Vicky! THAT'S THE ONLY THING EVEN HINTED AT! Plus, Cosmo is cute! And he loves Wanda so much! How can anyone else work with him? How? HOW?! ...And I'm done now, lol.

Food: I love pie! But my favorite food is...STEAK! I LOVE STEAK! I especially love steak when it is covered in A1 sauce. XP Mmmmmmm...

Soda: PEPSI BLUE! And I really like Dr. Pepper Red Fusion, too, which is another one of those really weird sodas. I am not a big fan of cola, but I prefer Pepsi over Coke. ;P

Color: G-gee...I wonder...:opens her closet and a mountain of blue clothes falls out: Hmm...XD

Number: 5. Isn't that a nice, simple number? My best memory of the number 5 was when I was playing soccer and some coach yelled "WATCH THAT NUMBER 5, DAMMIT!" I was insane on the field. XP It was the coolest thing I have ever heard in my entire life. The number 5 rocks! VIVA LA 5!!

Sport: I LOVE HOCKEY!! GO FLYERS!! I love to play hockey, too. I swear, if we had a team around here I would so play. I would beyond play. I would dominate. XP The sport I am the best at though it...BADMINTON! :cheers: I LOVE IT! I know it seems like a lame sport to like, but I seriously love it so much!

Video Games: FWEE! There are so many video games that I love! Mario Party 2, Waverace 64, Mario 64, Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, Final Fantasy II, III, VII, VIII, IX and X, Super Smash Brothers, Super Mario World, Mario 3, Donkey Kong 1, 2, 3, and 64, Sonic 2, Sonic Adventure, Sonic Adventure 2, Mario Kart 64, Super Mario World Two: Yoshi's Story, Conker's Bad Fur Day, South Park Rally, Starfox 64, Grand Theft Auto 3, Seaman, DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION, and...and...eee! So many...I am the video game champion! XD

Computer Games: I only have one. THE SIMS. I LOVE THE SIMS. I'm completely obsessed with it. I would play it much more than I do, but my computer doesn't have enough RAM for it to run fast enough (my computer has 64 RAM, if you have one or more expansion packs you're supposed to have 128 RAM...and I have all five expansion packs, LOL). I like Age of Empires, Civilzation II, The Oregon Trail, and Battle Chess too, but not NEARLY as much as I like The Sims. I like nothing more than the Sims. XP

Movies: Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Monty Python's Life of Brian, Monty Python's Meaning Of Life, South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut, Star Wars: A New Hope, Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, Star Wars: Return Of The Jedi, Ten Things I Hate About You, My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding, Miss Congeniality, GoldenEye, Tomorrow Never Dies, Goldfinger, The World Is Not Enough, Die Another Day, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Yellow Submarine, Full Metal Jacket, Platoon, Saving Private Ryan, Forrest Gump, The Lion King, The Lion King Two: Simba's Pride, The Tenth Kingdom, The Last Unicorn, Princess Mononoke, and others I can't think of right now.

Books: The Lovely Bones, The Devil's Teardrop, The Stand, Rose Madder, Carrie, Pet Semetary, IT...LOL, I like anything by Stephen King, Jeffery Deaver, Patrica Cornwell, and Brain Jacques. XP I love Of Mice and Men, The Red Tent, and others. I can't think of them right now.

TV Shows: The Fairly Oddparents is my favorite TV show, followed closely by South Park, Spongebob Squarepants, and Invader Zim. I also like the Powerpuff Girls, Dexter's Laboratory, The Kids In The Hall, Who's Line Is It Anyway, Friday Night Stand Up on Comedy Central, Crank Yankers, The Man Show, and...yeah. I don't really watch a lot of TV. ^^;;

Music: The Barenaked Ladies are my favorite band, followed closely by Enya and the Beatles ( I can't choose between it's a tie!) I also like Matchbox 20, Third Eye Blind, Goo Goo Dolls, Aerosmith, DDR music (Japanese techno! XP), Sarah McLaughlin, Jewel, Atlantis Morisette, No Doubt (their older stuff more than their new stuff), Styx, Pearl Jam, Sublime, Savage Garden, The Dixie Chicks, Collective Soul, Smashmouth, and some others. I think I have a pretty broad music taste. ^^

~KG's Writing Information~

Biggest Writing Accomplishment: Um, even if is a scam, I've been asked by them about 3580398645 times to publish a poem or put one on CD. And they said something about a nomination for "International Amatuer Poet of the Year" two years in a row...too bad I was only 16 and 17 when that happened, or else I would have gone for kicks. ^^; But my biggest real writing accomplishment would probably be that my English teacher last year said that my essay was the best he had ever read in his entire teaching career. ^_^ That made me feel special.

Most Famous Works: If you can call them famous...right now my most popular story is "I Wanna Fly High" and my most popular poem is "I Could". I HATE "I Could", though. My things I think I did the best on are "Lillian Star", which is an incomplete Redwall fic, and "A Child's Plea", which is a poem about child-abuse.

Most Embarrassing Pieces: Er, there are so many. Um...probably the thing I hate the most, though, would be "A Single Lily", which is a REALLY fricken old story. Or "South Park Kidnappings...The Sequel!". O_O Ugh. For are a lot. ...And I mean that. I hate a lot of the poems (especially the older ones) I have on here. They're evil, I tells ya.

Current Fandoms: As of right now, my main fandom is South Park. I'm branching out into Sonic the Hedgehog fanfiction as well, though. I wrote 2 Nsync fics (for my friend, since I don't like them), and one Redwall interpritation...but those aren't fandoms I'm going to be regulary writing in. I want to write a few Pokémon fics in the future, too. Oh, and I started in on Neopets. Oh the joy! Oh the rapture! Sometime soon, I am going to have a Fairly Oddparents fic as well...and I'll probably continue with that since it's my new obsession! I want to write some more original things too...maybe sometime...

~News In KG's Life~

My news (3.25.2003): JOIN THE MESSAGE BOARD I HAVE POSTED AS MY HOMEPAGE! I'll post the link right here just incase you don't feel like scrolling up all the way -


It's a miscellanious board! And it's great! JOIN I TELL YOU! JOIN!

news: *DO NOT THINK I HAVE TAKEN EVERYTHING DOWN!* ALL of my original work is now on my Fictionpress page, which can be found if you just meander back up to the top of the page and click on that shiny little link in my homepage spot. READ MY POEMS! They're all I ever write anymore anyway. XP AND I'VE ALSO REACHED 1000 REVIEWS! :little girl scream: And, I changed my pen name back to Kenny's Goddess ONLY ON FANFICTION.NET. still has the pen name Namir Swiftpaw. Remember - Namir and KG are the SAME PERSON! And as of this day (2.9.2003) I have 1121 reviews on all of my things and I am on the favorite's list of 49 members! You have no idea how much I am grateful for your time reviewing and critiquing my writing! I really appreciate the support...I can't thank you all enough! Oh, and here's an important thing about me on this site...If you review me, I will review you! No exceptions, unless you have not written anything or you're not a member of this site.

Recent Uploads: There have been none long time, lol. I need to write more fanfiction. o_O ALL OF MY WORK IS ON MY FICTIONPRESS PAGE NOW! :cries:

~KG's Special Thanks~

Squeezystan: Thanks for always supporting my work and leaving me reviews. Even though I'm supremely aggrivated with you right now, you are still my best friend.

Pink Parka Girl: My younger sister. Thanks for supporting me as well, through my writer's blockage. I swear I will work with you sometime soon on our two joint fics...I just do not have the time.

Evil Rabid Kadabra: My younger brother. Again, thanks for the support. I'm glad you seem to be getting better with your writing and enjoy the vaste wasteland that is

Diamond Topaz: Murr, I can't thank you enough for your continuing reviewing and support of my poetry and South Park stuff (even if I have not written anything in forever). I appreciate it!

Turquoise Phoenix: I LURVE YOO! You're such a talented writer and a great friend. ^_^ Thanks so much for your reviews, support, and encouragement!

ChibiHeartDragon: :big hugs: You're wonderful, hon. Thanks so much for your reviews, support, and emails.

Tweek's Panda: Thanks so much for your lovely comments about my South Park fiction! ^^ We have to work on our joint fic soon.

And to everyone who has stuck with "I Wanna Fly High". There are far too many of you and this profile would get even longer with all those additions. Plus, there are so many other people who review my poems and my works. I thank you all.

~Miscellaneous KG Things~

Rant (*new*): Okay. Yes. I hate Wendy. I FUCKING HATE HER CHARACTER! She's a bitch, she has the most annoying voice, and...grr! I can't stand her. Yes, I wrote her in a way that portrayed her negatively in my South Park series. SO WHAT?! It's my series. It was all written over FOUR YEARS AGO (well, the older stufff where Wendy was a real bitch). I don't write fanfiction anymore. I don't understand why some people are STILL pissed off about how I made Wendy in series. It's become a cliché now? It wasn't back when my fics were orignally posted! (Even though they still pissed people off...I AM AWESOME AT PISSING OFF PEOPLE!) I wrote her that way because I WANTED TO. I don't want to make my South Park universe like Matt and Trey's South Park universe. I like writing about my own characters, and writing the characters in the show in a way that I portray them. Wendy comes off to me on the show as a bitch - so I wrote her as a bitch. Excuse me for living! Or writing, I should say. Argh. It just pisses me off. I can write however I want. I don't even write fanfics anymore (even though I have been reconsidering entering the world of fanfiction...but I am so much better [and much, much more well known] for my poetry. Meh. Stick to what you know!), but yet I still am getting shit about this. I just...don't care anymore. Whatever - I am a crappy writer because I write Wendy as a bitch. Meh. So be it, then. I am a crappy writer. There. Now leave me and my writing the hell alone.

Author Of The Month: (11-2003) This month's author is...Squeezystan! Squeeze writes some really good poetry and has some awesome Labyrinth fics that are really worth your time! If you would like to check out her works, her link is here - I highly recommend her, so check her out if you have the time!

Fanfic Of The Month: (11-2003) This month's story is "Sunrise", by Pink Parka Girl! Sunrise is the most godly story I have ever read. It's a Pokemon/SP crossover of sorts and features my own character, Ambrosia. ;P Now, that's not why it's good - it's got an awesome plot and she needs some reviews to get her butt in gear on it! So, check it out here -

~KG's Fic Projects~


South Park:

1) Hospitals and Sickness and Pain, Oh My!
2) When Irish Eyes Were Dying
3) The Return Of The Skipping Bitches
4) Feminist Awareness Week (Sayonara, Girls!)
5) Who Let The Missionaries In, Anyway?
6) The Terrifying Return Of Mr. Garrison...
7) And the Terrifying Return Of the Girls
8) To Saturn...And Beyond!
9) Cartman's Bad Fur Day
10) The Tempest (a joint fic with Pink Parka Girl)
11) Missingno Madness (a joint fic with Pink Parka Girl)
12) A joint fic with Tweek's Panda (currently untitled)

Mystery Fankid Theater:

1) The Fanfic Without a Name, by Natz
2) Who Wants To Play Deception?, by RachelS
3) Forbidden Attitudes, by an unknown author

Sonic the Hedgehog:

1) I Wanna Fly High (later chapters)
2) Shift Happens


1) The Ultimate Faerie Quest! (later chapters)


1) Nido-Drag-Queen (tenative title)

Fairly Oddparents

1) Presidental Plunder (tenative title)

~KG's Quotes~

"Two wrongs doesn't make a right!"
"No, but three rights make a left!" ~Wanda and Cosmo

"I was wrapped in my towel, when the ninjas attacked!" ~Wanda

"TIMMY! How many times have I told you not to make your father scream like a girl three times in one day?" ~Mrs. Turner

"Follow your dreams, you can reach your goals--I'm living proof. Beefcake. Beefcake! BEEFCAKE!" ~Eric Cartman

"Stupid ketchup!" ~Cosmo

"So...MUCH...CLOGGING!" ~Cosmo

"I'm not that bright, and big words confuse me...and I have the attention span of a rodent, but Wanda loves me anyway!" ~Cosmo

"I found a nickle! And you know what the good news is? I named him Phillip! But you know what the bad news is? IT'S A GIRL NICKLE!" ~Cosmo


"I've got chocolate-bubble gum!" ~GIR

"I...don't...KNOW!" ~GIR

"...Can I be a mongoose-dog?" ~GIR

"" ~GIR


"Dude, it's just a word, it can't hurt anybody! F*ck, f*ckity f*ck f*ck f*ck!" ~ Eric Cartman

"ERIC! Did you just say the f-word?"
"...Jew?" ~Mr. Garrison and Cartman

"I'm sorry Wendy, but I just don't trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die." ~Mr. Garrison.

"Goodbye you guys!" ~Kenny McCormick

"This one time, about eight months ago, I saw two gay guys kissing down by Stark's pond. And that was the gayest thing I had ever seen until I came to the Kozy 102 FM's Halloween Haunt." ~Stan Marsh

"I thought that Christmas comes only once a year." ~James Bond

Heh, I'm done that now. Now, you all know too much about me, and if you actually sat here and read all that, I'll give you a gold star. :does so: Anyway, read on, dear visitor. You might find something you like. ^^

~Namir Swiftpaw~
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We're Gonna Have A Good Time Then: The Kenny Song by Father Hulk reviews
A touching song sung by Cartman about his friendship with Kenny, and his joy at Kenny's return. Doesn't follow episode 617 but still cute. R/R Please!
South Park - Rated: K - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 551 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 3 - Published: 3/20/2003
Butterfree's Farewell by Patchwork Poltergeist reviews
What I think was going through Butterfree's mind as he left... R/R please
Pokémon - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 427 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/29/2002
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I Wanna Fly High reviews
It's been six months since Shadow came back, and major chaos has ensued in the lives of the Sonic crew. Can Tails make a name for himself and rescue the girl he loves? A Tails/Rouge fic. **CHAPTER 13 NOW UP**
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 19,443 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 9/25/2002 - Published: 8/29/2001
Unlucky Day reviews
The second South Park fic I ever wrote. LOL it sucks so bad. >
South Park - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,656 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/15/2002
The South Park Kidnappings reviews
The illustrious, unfinished, original. Probably the funniest, stupidest thing ever written. :P Co-written with my friend Robyn.
South Park - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15,762 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/15/2002
No, NOT The Notebook! reviews
The one thing Amber holds the most dear is the one thing that brings her to her misery...
South Park - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,417 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/21/2002
A Tiny Little Shoyru Story reviews
Arielle Cloud speaks about living with my other Neopets. ^^;
Neopets - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 468 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 3/21/2002
The Ultimate Faerie Quest! reviews
The Faerie Queen falls prey to the evil power of the Dark Faerie...and it's up to three brave Neopets to save her. Chapter two up...finally!
Neopets - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,458 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 3/21/2002 - Published: 1/12/2002
The Three Little Boys And The Big, Bad, Fat*ss reviews
Another South Park Fairy Tale. ^_^ Cartman is hungry, and looking for something to eat...
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,810 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/10/2002
Changes reviews
Diggerella Purralot, my Aisha, goes through some very strange changes...(a short Neopets ficlet)
Neopets - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,608 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/10/2002
Ice Girl, Straight Ahead! reviews
The introduction fic of my fankid Ambrosia Wereneck. ^^; Amber ends up having to move to South Park after a life of total isolation from other Antarctica!
South Park - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,146 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/18/2001
South Park Kidnappings...The Sequel! reviews
::sigh:: I'm sooooo going to regret is the original SP Kidnappings 2...UNTOUCHED. This is unfinished, and I intend to keep it that way. VERY long...VERY stupid. Another early work...(1997/1998)
South Park - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 83,587 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/27/2001
The Little Miss Third Grader Pageant reviews
It's Lily and her pals against Wendy and her friends, or so they think...^_^
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,305 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/29/2001
Back Here Baby: A Mini Fic reviews
O.o I finally have a new SP fic, but it's very very short. In this, Lily (my fanikd) feels awful about something she has done to Cartman, and wishes he would forgive her. And it uses the song Back Here Baby, by BBMak...hence the title. ^_^
South Park - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 476 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/30/2001
Pretty Fly For A Fat Chick reviews
A parody of Pretty Fly For A White Guy, by the Offspring. This is the oldest and most crappy of all my song parodies...O.o
Parodies and Spoofs - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 472 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/3/2001
The Cannibal Song reviews
This is a parody of The Animal Song, by Savage Garden. I love this song, but the way they sing it made "animal" sound too much like "cannibal" so I couldn't resist...^_^
Parodies and Spoofs - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 342 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/3/2001
My Wh*re Bill is 1000 Bucks Times 5 reviews
A stupid, raunchy parody of Lou Bega's (or whoever the heckamadoodle wrote this, he was a one hit wonder anyway!) Mambo #5...gaaaaaaaaah, this song sucks!!!!
Parodies and Spoofs - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 253 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3/3/2001
Well This Song Is Just Not Terrible, It Is BAD! reviews
A parody of the Alabama song: Well the 20th Century Wasn't All That Bad...god I HATE that song! >_< And what made it owrse was I had to sing it with my chorus...errrrr...
Parodies and Spoofs - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 370 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/3/2001
God Must Have Placed A Little More Flab On Me reviews
A parody of the Nsync song: God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On You, sung from the point of view of Eric Cartman from South Park. ^_^
Parodies and Spoofs - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 291 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 3/3/2001
Lillian Star reviews
This is unfinished, but I figured I would post what I's my own interpertation of a Redwall story (and this story is where I got the idea about the star on the head for my South Park fics, BTW) about a young mouse who strives to find her place in
Redwall - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 36,006 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/7/2000
Cartman reviews
Another character poem...this time about Cartman...
Fanfiction Poetry - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 149 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 11/5/2000
Intro Series Part Two: Enter Lily Marsh reviews
My God! It's that cloned Stan I was telling you about! =P Actually...Lily's come to town...and she's...something...
South Park - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,288 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/5/2000
Intro Series Part Three: SSITD reviews
Okay, since my title unabbreviated is too LONG to fit...the SSITD stands for Something Sprouting in the Dark. ^_^ In this tale...something...happens in the dark with Lily...and someone else! Woah! =P
South Park - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,439 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/5/2000
The Nightmare Begins Part 1: Prequel To The Terror reviews
The ganglies make their way into South Park...
South Park - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,128 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/5/2000
The Nightmare Begins Part Two: Emeresia reviews
YES! The title finally fit! Woohoo! Anyway, the boys have to go to the ganglies lair to search for Lily...and who knows what they will find?
South Park - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,348 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/5/2000
The Skipping B*tches reviews
Wendy, Bebe, and their friends are starting a group, and guess who they're looking towards to be their fifth member... =P
South Park - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,791 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/5/2000
Who the H*ll's This? reviews
Someone new is moving to South Park...OBVIOUSLY! ^_^ ::grumbles about censoring::
South Park - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,411 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/5/2000
I Knew I Loved You reviews
...Before I met you, I think I dreamed you into life...NO! This is NOT a posting of that song, sheesh...Colleen and _______ get together...
South Park - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,291 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/5/2000
Wendy and Lily Face Off! reviews
Umm...well...what the title says! =P
South Park - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,218 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/5/2000
The Skipping B*tches Fight Back! reviews
ARGH...must change all my in trouble with Anyway, it's the return of everyone's favorite stupid girls! ;P
South Park - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,999 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/5/2000
Conspiracy Theory reviews
Someone...or something is out to get Lily...and little does she know how close to her the person is...
South Park - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,592 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/5/2000
Little Orange Parka Hood reviews
My God, my first PG-13 thing! This is an interpolation of Little Red Riding Hood...part of my South Park Fairy Tales series. Look for more soon...
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 930 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/5/2000
Ode to Kenny reviews
This is my favorite South Park poem of all...and it's the only one that doesn't rhyme. ^_^
Fanfiction Poetry - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 132 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 11/5/2000
South Park reviews
Exactly what the title says...a poem about South Park
Fanfiction Poetry - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 102 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 11/5/2000
In Kenny's Mind reviews
A day through the eyes of Kenny...poor child, lol ^_^
Fanfiction Poetry - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 691 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/5/2000
Kenny reviews
This is ridiculous...but here's a poem about Kenny ^_^
Fanfiction Poetry - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 100 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 11/5/2000
Kyle reviews
As if the Kenny poem wasn't's one about Kyle...
Fanfiction Poetry - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 77 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 11/5/2000
Intro Series Part One: Double Trouble reviews
Ooooh...two Stan's? *gasp* No! But...there *is* someone coming into the Marsh household...
South Park - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,546 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/5/2000