Ava L. Noble
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Joined 07-18-10, id: 2453184, Profile Updated: 04-01-12
Author has written 3 stories for Harry Potter, and Homestuck.

Hi there, Ava here. I'm a huge geek, Nerdfighter, Homestuck, Whovian, Sherlockian, Potterhead, the list goes on! I'm a terrible person to have for an enemy, a great person to have as a friend, and I'm really grateful for the fact that no one has yet called an insane asylum on me. Saying I'm not totally straight would be an understatement, but do you see me caring? No? ravenclaw-not-always-sane.tumblr.com so follow me if you'd like! Ava. Just Ava. on Figment, which is where all of the rest of my stuff goes, you know, on the off-chance you like what I post here.

THE BOLD ONES ARE ME, BUT ALL PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be going out with them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly... or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and cool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I MUST do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I MUST be stupid and stuck up.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I DON'T LIKE to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling brat.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I READ COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FAN Girl so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and A MURDERER!
I'm MORMON, so I MUST have A LOT OF KIDS
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippie
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON"T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I don't HAVE MANY FRIENDS, so I MUST be antisocial.
I have a guy best friend, so I MUST be going out with him.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I'm MORMON, so I MUST not be CHRISTIAN
I SUCK MY OWN BLOOD FROM WOUNDS, so I MUST have a vampire fetish.
I'm a good actor/actress, so I MUST be a liar.
I'm a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone's ass.
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant.
I'm a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict.
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian.
I'm a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie.
I'm INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs.
I'm a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life.
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd or suck-up.

I have GREEN SKIN, so I MUST be a wicked witch.
I'm DIFFERENT, so I MUST just want attention.
I'm an ACTOR/ACTRESS, so I MUST be mean.
I'm AMERICAN, so I MUST be an overweight pig with no boundaries
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports
I like CATS, so I MUST dance like a cat in my spare time.

I SPEAK GERMAN, so I MUST be a psycho Nazi
I WEAR GLASSES and RETAINERS, so I MUST be a nerd
I'm HALF ASIAN HALF BRITISH, so I MUST be short
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals
I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I HAVE BIG FAMILY siblings, so WE MUST be financially challenged
I'm ALWAYS SMILING AND LAUGHING, so I MUST have a great life.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention
I COPIED AND PASTED THIS INTO MY PROFILE, so I MUST be a plagiarist.
I FROWN a lot, so I MUST have a bad life
I get BAD GRADES, so I MUST be a slacker who doesn't try
I'm a JEW, so I MUST hate all Germans
I like to listen to HANNAH MONTANA, so I MUST be childish and immature
I am POLITE to TEACHERS, so I MUST be a teacher's pet.
I don't have a SOCIAL LABEL, so I MUST just be emo.
I like COUNTRY music, so I MUST be a redneck hick.

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I love SHOPPING so I MUST be rich.
I like to READ, so I MUST be a nerd.
I don't ADORE Twilight, so I MUST not believe in true love.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED (I hate sterotypes, and if you do, too, post this on your profile.)

We’re best friends because you get it. I’m not sure what that means (it’s all so vague) but whatever it is, you have it. I don’t need to explain anything to you or worry if you’ll get the joke. You already got it and are on your way to making the next one. Thanks, babe! You really make socializing a lot easier for me.

We’re best friends because you love me even when I’m terrible. It’s easy to love someone when they’re doing well, it’s easy when there’s nothing but happiness and good vibes. The real challenge comes when everything is crap. You’re not a fun person to be around, people are screening your number and you’re a damn social pariah. But you don’t care. Even at my most Carrie Bradshaw, you’re still down to get brunch with me and talk about dicks.

We’re best friends because I can take you anywhere and you’ll adapt. Whether it’s the chicest party or some insufferable family gathering, you’ll deal with it like a champ. I don’t have to worry about leaving you alone or keeping you entertained. You go do your thing. I do mine. Let’s meet back at the bar in an hour.

We’re best friends because you never make me uncomfortable. I think about most of my friends and realize that they've made me feel weird at some point in our friendship. Whether it’s from an awkward silence or an off-color remark, I've felt unsure about them. Not you though. I always know that you make sense and that this makes sense.

We’re best friends because we can go for long stretches of time without talking and it won’t damage the relationship. We always pick up where we left off. Surfaces changes mean nothing to us. You could become a vegan who goes by Moonshadow and attends Burning Man, and I would still feel closer to you than anyone else. We don’t need common interests in order to connect. We don’t need a mutual love of music or sports or whatever to keep us together.

We’re best friends because you don’t get resentful or jealous if I get into a relationship or land an amazing job. I mean, maybe you are and that’s fine. The important thing is that you keep it to yourself like a best friend should.

You’re my best friend because you’re not afraid to call me out on my crap or disagree with me. I can’t get away with anything when I’m with you. You’ll tell me things that I need to hear but everyone else is too afraid to tell me. Your honesty is so damn refreshing albeit a bitter pill to swallow sometimes.

We’re best friends because you make feel less alone in this psycho, flaky world. It’s amazing how often you can feel disconnected from people. It’s amazing how many people can betray you, or fail to understand the words that are coming out of your mouth. When I see you, it’s a burst of reassurance that I’m not the only who looks at the world this way. There’s someone else. And that someone is you

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.

His bed was next to the room’s only window

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end.

They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation..

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.

Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats.. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man could not hear the band – he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.

She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.

He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, ‘Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.’

Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can’t buy.

‘Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present .’

Start with a cage containing five monkeys.

Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.

After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.

After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.

Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water.

Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done round here.

And that, my friends, is how company policies are made.

An unpopular, but really nice, girl takes a really good picture of herself and posts it on Facebook. She gets two likes, and five comments, two of which are really mean comments about her clothes. Another girl who is well-known by everybody takes a bad picture with her cell phone in the girls bathroom at school. She gets twelve likes and fifteen comments, all that say "u r soooo pretty :)" or similar. The first girl saw this and vowed to not take another picture of herself until she figured out how to look like the popular girl.

A guy gets bullied and beat up by some other guys in his class because he's gay. He's gone to the counselor, all of his teachers, and the principal, but they don't do anything about it. His last post on Twitter is "Good bye, everybody." The news in the morning is a story about a teenage boy who "fell, jumped, or was pushed" off the overpass. The story was all over school that day, and the bullies were proud to think it was their doing.

A nerdy girl posts a video on YouTube of herself singing her favorite song. She's an amazing singer, and she's really proud of herself, so she posts a link on every social network she can and waits. The only people who watch the video are her best friend, her family, and her crush. Her friend told her that "I always knew you were a good singer!" That made the girl smile. Her family and crush didn't say anything, but the next day she found the video re-posted on Facebook, with the caption "Look at this loser try to sing!" Her crush had posted it. She immediately broke down in tears.

A boy has no friends because he is condemned to a wheelchair. He was born with one leg, and the other didn't work properly. That was the only thing wrong with him. He was smart, nice, funny, an otherwise perfectly normal kid. His dad had died fighting in Iraq, so it was just him and his mom. Other kids made fun of him because she dropped off and picked up her son at school everyday, and gave him a kiss. They thought it was funny to put sticks in the spokes of his wheelchair. He's home schooled now, because he told his mom about what happened to him every day.

You laugh, you scoff, but these things happen, and it's horrible. What happened to "All men are created equal"? Does that not extend to young people? What happened to childhood innocence? Where it didn't matter what you looked like, if you gave your cookie to the kid that didn't have one, suddenly you were best friends. I miss that. I miss being able to be who you are and not being laughed at or made fun of for it.

Now you might think the glass is half full, and you might think that the glass is half empty, but engineers know that the glass is actually two times larger than it needs to be. Politicians on the other hand have assured me that the glass would be MORE empty if the opposition were in charge, while surrealists think that the glass is half of a slowly rotting lemon. Physicists, well they happen to know that you can never know exactly how much water is in the glass because just by measuring, you have changed the outcome. Leroy Jethro Gibbs is suspected to dust the glass for prints to see who drank his water and my mother has told me that the glass is always full because regardless of how much water is in it, air takes up the rest of the space. I'm Cheyenne Corrick and I approve this message.

Yeah...

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on Farmville, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with books, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.

Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics. You are all stardust. You couldn’t be here if stars hadn’t exploded. Because the elements, the carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, iron, all the things that matter for evolution weren’t created at the beginning of time. They were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars. And the only way they could get into your body is if the stars were kind enough to explode. So forget Jesus. The stars died so you could be here today.

Yeah, I sit alone on the bleachers. That doesn't mean something is wrong. If something was wrong, I would show it, and I would probably be over with my friends venting about it. But no one understands that. I am a person who ENJOYS being alone. When you guys come over and ask me whats up, then sit and try to get me to do stuff, it just irratates me. I dont NEED people to live. Most people, I've noticed, who care about me enough to sit with me, are really loud. If I'm sitting by myself, its probably because I want to block out the world and think. I can sit still and be quiet longer than you can, and I can do it without straining myself. No offence to you guys, I appreciate it that you care that much, but really. I dont need you around all the time. Chances are, if Im sitting alone, Im probably quite content with my life. If Im sitting with my friends, Im probably quite content with my life. It takes a lot to irk me, and when I am PO'd, Im not just going to go sit and ignore it. Sometimes I just need to think and be alone and whatever, and you people interrupt my solitude and I don't care much for it. So next time, when you ask why Im sad and I say Im not, just leave it at that, and walk away. Please and thank you, because Im not going to tolerate it for much longer.

Sure signs that you're a geek:

[X] You become obsessed with every good movie you see

[X] Or even just a fairly interesting one

[X] Or at least anything with Johnny Depp in it. (!!!!)

[X] The same is true with books

[X] Even the Johnny Depp part.

[ ] You write stories and fanfiction, but are failing Language Arts

[X] You know what yaoi is.

[X] And relish at the sight of it.

[X] You can name several different animes that you are obsessed with.

[X] You know what semes and ukes are.

[X] You know your main seme or uke personality.

[X] You have purposefully worn shoes that don't match.

[X] You and your friends look like escaped zombies. (YES!!)

[X] People who don't know you think you're quiet

[X] People who do wish you were.

[ ] You have been to more than one Broadway musical.

[X] You role play. (A TON.)

[ ] Your character probably hates you for torturing them so much. (MY character, no...)

[X] You make memorizing lines to movies a hobby.

[X] You burst into song for no apparent reason.

[X] At the least appropriate moments. (Yes... very yes.)

[X] You act like a mental hospital escapee. (Don't tell the men with the big nets I'm here!)

[X] You aren't easily embarrassed in public.

[X] You have no problem with embarrassing other people in public. (If you know me, you can testify to this.)

[X] Humans are stupid.

[ ] Primates devolved after Adam and Eve.

[X] Fezes are cool.

[X] You know why that's funny.

[ ] Ties are your greatest accessory.

[X] You live off of Top Ramen and pop.

[X] You would die without your music.

[X] You are a wizard.

[X] And a vampire slayer.

[X] And a Doctor's companion.

[X] And a Jedi.

[ ] And a Drow.

[ ] Dice rule the universe.

[X] You have a magic sword.

[X] You use it frequently.

[X] You picture yourself killing people quite a few times a day.

[X] You only know who Alexander McQueen is because of Kurt Hummel.

[X] You know who Kurt Hummel is.

[X] You die several times a day.

[X] You actually read all of these.

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Homestuck - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,554 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 8/31/2012 - Published: 12/31/2011 - Eridan A., Sollux C.
Don't Hate Me by CrowsGurl reviews
They were one big happy family- though every family has their outcast. Dirk is lost amongst his family's friends with only loneliness to hold to. Gunblade AU; MultiSidePairings; Rated T for cursing.
Homestuck - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 28,454 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 8/9/2012 - Published: 1/30/2012 - Dirk S., Jake E.
I Can't Believe He Read It by Coyoteclaw11 reviews
What happens when Dave reads one of John's little fanfics and finds it's about the two of them? Based on a fanfiction by AllKnowingNiko. Rated T for cursing "
Homestuck - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,811 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/3/2012 - Dave S., John E. - Complete
Find A Temple, Build A Temple by eggjam reviews
"This is how it's supposed to be, heaven or no."
Homestuck - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 33,558 - Reviews: 183 - Favs: 492 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 4/20/2012 - Published: 3/30/2012 - Jake E., Dirk S. - Complete
Oxygen DISCONTINUED by striderstuck reviews
Suddenly, kissing him didn't feel right… Because you hardly knew each other… But you couldn't stop. From the looks of it, he couldn't stop either. dirk/jake fluff high school au DISCONTINUED
Homestuck - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,503 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 4/17/2012 - Published: 2/4/2012 - Jake E., Dirk S. - Complete
Together by previouslysane reviews
Sherlock and John. They meet earlier on in their lives and complement each other beautifully. No one could dispute this. After graduation, things turn to the sinister. They're ripped apart at the seams. What will it take for them to be together again?
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 48 - Words: 74,169 - Reviews: 441 - Favs: 274 - Follows: 211 - Updated: 3/7/2012 - Published: 1/10/2012 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Puncture Wounds by Tiranas Goldfish reviews
POV Dirk, T for language. AU with no SBURB, all the kids are visiting Jake's island. Dirk gets pretty badly injured saving Jake, Jake is beat up about it, feelings ensue. Broship, more in later chapters. Reviews more than welcome.
Homestuck - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,889 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/4/2012 - Dirk S., Jake E. - Complete
Something More by Mystelle reviews
In which Jake English takes a moment to reflect on a certain Dirk Strider. Light M/M
Homestuck - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 609 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/28/2012 - Jake E., Dirk S. - Complete
Subtleties by MistressKiko reviews
Maybe... tomorrow. Maybe he'd tell Dirk how he was feeling about all this tomorrow. FLUFF.
Homestuck - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,653 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 107 - Follows: 18 - Published: 2/5/2012 - Dirk S., Jake E. - Complete
Reading Reid by BlueSunflower reviews
Hotch and Morgan discuss the soon-to-be newest addition to the BAU. Pre-series.
Criminal Minds - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,061 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 694 - Follows: 159 - Published: 9/17/2011 - S. Reid - Complete
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John: Fall in love with Strider reviews
I have no idea what I'm doing. Basically it's a cliche high school AU in which there are shenanigans and fluff. JohnxDave, DavexJade, JohnxVriska and RosexKanaya are the focus pairings. T for safety
Homestuck - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,504 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 12 - Published: 5/14/2012 - John E., Dave S.
Don't Leave reviews
An expensive visit to an island. Dirk could only afford to go there and back once. Anything to see Jake. He wanted to tell him in person, and it was his only chance. You are Dirk Strider, and you are very, very awkward. DirkxJake oneshot. Enjoy!
Homestuck - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,750 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/1/2012 - Dirk S., Jake E. - Complete
Slytherin reviews
Harry wasn't thinking hard enough, and was sorted into Slytherin. I do not own Harry Potter or anything related to Harry potter. J.K. Rowling has full rights.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,958 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 8 - Published: 8/26/2011 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete