DeathOrchid
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
beta: β Beta Profile
Joined 07-20-10, id: 2457341, Profile Updated: 06-13-11
Author has written 15 stories for Naruto.

Name: DeathOrchid

Age:16

I'm a normal teenage girl. I love music, writing, music, reading, video games, and did I mention music? I get myself in trouble a lot because I speak my mind. I'm real to who I am and won't back down if I believe in something. I'm the first to say I'm sorry, usually. I love who I am and wouldn't change anything about myself even if I had the chance. I'm a feminist, but that doesn't mean I hate men. I have a phobia of spiders and needles, but I voluntarily give blood whenever I can. I'm a major perfectionist, borderline OCD. Yep, that's me in a nutshell.

Things I love to read about: Time travel, Vampires(the ones that don't sparkle), Zombies, and I'm a sucker for a good fairy tale. I'll probably never write a horror story, no matter how much I would love to, because I just don't have that sort of mind scheme.

Things I hate: High School Stories(there are a couple exceptions, but most are the same), predictable plotless stories(Exception: Well written fluff), and Old Yellar Stories(they start out great but after a while they need to be taken out behind the barn and shot). If you ever catch me writing a story like any of these please inform me ASAP so I can take care of it immediately.

To all my readers I just want to warn you I am a very inconsistent writer, I could update a story 3 times in one day and then you won't hear from me for a couple months. I apologize in advance. I am also the beta to my own stories because I do not have the patience to wait on someone else to check every chapter I write, so typos are bound to happen.


Wall of Reviewers

Longest- Animelover351

Shortest- Frozen Heart Beats

Most Insulting-(still to be filled, which means I must be doing a good job)

Most Cheerful- Similar Hues

Oldest- Pop'n'Lock7

Most Stories- ChocolateKisses9

Kicks My Butt Into Gear- kayla12000


Write down your twelve favorite Naruto characters and then answer the questions below.

1. Sakura

2. Gaara

3. Sasuke

4. Naruto

5. Sasori

6. Deidara

7. Itachi

8. Ino

9. Hinata

10. Lee

11. Ten-Ten

12. Temari

1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before? (Deidara/Ten-Ten)

Um...does that even exist? OMG I looked it up and it does! What the heck people?

2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot? (Naruto)

Kinda. He's really more cute and lovable. Except when his shirt is off or he's in Sage mode.

3) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? (Temari/Ino)

Unless one is a guy that's very impossible

4) Do you recall any fics about Nine? (Hinata)

Yeah, they were all adorable NaruHina ones.

5) Would Two and Six make a good couple? (Deidara/Gaara)

No, since Six killed Two

6) Five/Seven or Five/Six?(Sasori/Deidara)(Sasori/Itachi)

Five/Seven

7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Ten and Twelve having sex?(Deidara/Lee/Temari)

He'd blow them up of course, I would too. No one wants to see that image.

8) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten Fanfic. (Sasuke/Lee)

He was one of the few people that ever beat him and he wanted a re-match

9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff? (Sakura/Ino)

Yes

10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic. (Itachi/Temari)

Parallel Universe

11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One? (Naruto/Sakura)

It was a simple mission but that night they had to share a room and things got a little out of hand.

12) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het? (Sasuke)

No friends list

13) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven? (Ten-Ten)

No friends list

14) Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five? (Gaara/Naruto/Sasori)

No friends list

15) What might ten scream at a moment of great passion? (Lee)

YOUTH!

16) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose? (Ino)

Crazy Bitch

17) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be? (Sakura/Deidara/Temari)

Danger two extremely powerful kuniochi and one suicidal bomber.

18) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two? (Lee/Gaara)

Want me to show you the real meaning of youth?

19) How might Eleven describe a relationship between Two and Eight? (Ten-Ten/Gaara/Ino)

I don't even know them or how they got together

20) How emo is Seven? (Itachi)

Not much. Definately not as emo as his brother.

21) What would One and Four say if they were fighting over Two? (Sakura/Naruto/Gaara)

"I want him SHANNARO!!!" "I saw him first DATTEBAYO!!"

22) What would Six look like if he/she was cross-dressing? (Deidara)

Like Ino, so not much of a difference.

23) What would a One/Two baby look like? (Sakura/Gaara)

Omg so cute!! Pretty green eyes and maybe pink or light red hair.

24) What is Five's ultimate weakness? (Sasori)

His impatience.

25) Would Two and Four be better as siblings or lovers? (Gaara/Naruto)

Brothers, but I have seen some pretty well written stories of a Gaara/Naruto romance


╔═╦╦══╦══╦╗╔╦══╦══╗╔╗
║║║║╔╗║╔╗║║║╠╗╔╣╔╗║║║ Put this on your
║║║║╚╝║╚╝╣║║║║║║║║║╚╝ page if you love
║║║║╔╗║╔╗║╚╝║║║║╚╝║╔╗ Naruto!
╚╩═╩╝╚╩╝╚╩══╝╚╝╚══╝╚╝


Reasons why Sasuke NEEDS to go to THERAPY

1.) He saw his whole entire family get killed. I mean, for god’s sake! People who see other people get murdered need to go to therapy or they’ll go crazy!! (Maybe that's why he so freakin' obsessed with revenge!)

2.) Itachi, his own brother, was the one who killed his family. This ties back with the first reason! People who see their brother kill their family need to go to therapy or they’ll never trust anyone ever again! (Maybe that’s why he left Team 7 and isn’t going back.)

3.) Reason number three is his horrible obsession with revenge! I mean, can it get any worse!? Everyone wants revenge some timein their lives, whether it’s revenge against your brother for breaking your toy or revenge against a murderer who killed your lover! He needs to stop his revenge and go back to Konoha!

4.) He freakin’ killed his older brother! This reason explains itself.

5.) He says he doesn’t want to be like his brother, but have you noticed he looks likeItachi, he’s as strong asItachi, and he’s in Akatsuki likeItachi? It just doesn’t make sense!

6.) He left Konoha for a freakin’ pedophile! I mean, seriously! If I had a choice, I would’ve gone with Tobi, the freakin’ Akatsuki member with that stupid split personality who’s serious one moment and then stupid the next! Plus, with the snake pedophile, he lived in dark, underground places!!

Can it get any worse!? Oh yes, yes, it can.

7.) He trusts the freakin’ Akatsuki member with a split personality who’s serious one moment and then stupid the next who claims to be the supposed-to-be-dead Uchiha Madara! I mean, come on! Would you believe the guy with the split personality or two people who care about you the most in the whole world!? Even a two-year-old would choose the second choice!

8.) He says he’s cut off all his ties to Konoha, but have you noticed that his team (Team Hebi) is kind of like his old team? (Suigetsu=Naruto, Karin=Sakura, and Juugo=Kakashi) What does that tell you!?

9.) His hair! It’s shaped like a chicken’s ass!! Now, I don’t know if Kishimoto should go to therapy for this, but Sasuke definitely needs to change his hair style!

10.) He acts like he’s gay! He even has a nickname in fanfiction “Sas-GAY”. For god’s sake, if he just showed some preference in girls like talk to them (but not Karin, s/he doesn’t count) then he wouldn’t really be labeled gay! It’s as simple as that! I bet he’d kill Sakura on the spot when she goes to talk to him in the new manga chapters just because she used to be one of his fangirls! Plus, he kissed Naruto! (And in my opinion, Sakura should have gotten a picture of that and sold it on Ebay or posted it on MySpace.)

For the love of everyone who’s decent, this guy needs to go therapy!!


Why are there no phones in Naruto!?

In Naruto, there are TVs but no phones.

In Naruto, there are huge screens thingys but no phones.

In Naruto, there are trains but no phones.

In Naruto, there are clocks but no phones.

In Naruto, there are movie theaters but no phones.

In Naruto, there are experiments on human beings but no phones.

In Naruto, there are walkie-talkie thingys that you can put in your ear but no phones!

I think Kishimoto just has a problem with phones.


WISE THOUGHTS

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection make him
a sandwich.

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet
and they won't bother you for weeks.

Some people are like Slinkies... not really good for anything, but you still can't
help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs...

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut
saves you thirty cents?


What will happen eventually...

A random producer guy from DisneyXD is working on Naruto Shippuden until... BOOM! Jiraiya, Deidara, and Hidan crash into the room.

"What is the meaning of this, un?!" Deidara yelled out. "You took out a precious moment of my art!!"

"As much as I appreciate you getting rid of my nickname, you're going to take out the women!" Jiraiya shouted.

"You took out the swearing... and the blood," Hidan growled as he walked up to him. "What kind of fucking ninja show doesn't have blood in it?!" Hidan brought his scythe up to the guy's neck.

"It was for the fans! I made it appropriate so even six year olds could watch!" the guy screamed as he... uh... gave himself a reason to look for new pants.

"Who gives a crap about the freakin' six-year-olds?! The freakin' fourteen year-year-olds are gonna kill you for taking out the good parts!"

There was another BOOM! Three ninja fans busted down the wall. Two jounin-level boys, and a chuunin-level girl.

"GET HIM!!"

Put this on your profile if you noticed what Disney took out of Naruto Shippuden, and you're mad about it. And add yourself to the fans invasion!


THE NARUTARD SURVEY! NARUTARDS UNITE!

1. Who is your favorite Naruto character(s)? Sakura

2. What is your favorite pairing(s)? Almost anything with Sakura.

3. Are you a Naruto yaoi or hentai fan? Neither

4. Ever cosplayed Naruto characters? If so, who, where and how many times? Not yet

5. List your collection of Naruto junk and merchandise, if any: I wish I had some plushies

6. Have you ever felt that you were destined to be with a Naruto character? If so, who? No, not really

7. NaruHina or KibaHina? NaruHina

8. SasuSaku or SasuNaru? SasuSaku

9. Which team is your favorite? Team 7 or Team Gai? Team 7

10. Do you support the obito theory? That's the Tobi is Obito right? Madara is Tobi.

11. Do you support the 'Yondaime is Naruto's father' theory? Since the beginning. And it's been proven!

12. Your favorite Akatsuki member? Itachi in all his smexyness and Konan is pretty awesome being the only female and all

13. Are you Pro-Sasuke or Anti-Sasuke? Anti-Sasuke with some Pro moments

14. Have you seen all Naruto episodes so far (including Shippuden and fillers)? Most

15. Have you read all the chapters so far? No.

16. Do you believe Naruto has ADD? A little

17. Sub or dub? Sub

18. Pro-Sakura or Anti-Sakura? Pro-Sakura B*TCHES

19. Tobi = Annoying or funny? Funny

20. Do you even know who Tobi is? Yep

21. Gai = Sexy beast or Ugly nerd? I don't think there is a catagory for what he is.

22. Which character would be the best crossdresser? Haku or Deidara

23. Rock Lee = Weird or Awesome? Weird.

24. Which character would be best OOC? Who and how? I would like to see a happy, almost Naruto-like Sasuke

25. Do you like Naruto fanfics? Stupid question. I don't like it, I LOVE it.

26. Do you write Naruto fanfics? Yes

27. Do you like lemons? Not a big fan.

28. Do your parents know about the Naruto characters? My mom does a little.

29. Have you watched the Naruto Abridged Series? Yes sir.

30. Have you seen The Naruto Ultimate Fanflashers? Yes.

31. Have you ever gotten someone else hooked on Naruto? I don't think so, at least not that I know of.

32. Have you ever been drawing Naruto in school and has someone recognized it? No. I'm not a good artist

33. Have you ever been in class drawing Naruto and the teacher came up to you and said 'WTF is this?' No.

34. Has Naruto affected your school life and grades? No.

35. Are you broke thanks to Naruto? Nope

36. Do you want to read Icha Icha Paradise? NO >.>

37. Do you support the 'Yondaime is the Akatsuki Leader' theory? No, Pein was, sort of, but real he was just a pawn. Uchiha Madara aka Tobi is the real leader.

38. Do you draw Naruto fanart? I try, not good at it though

39. Is Sasuke still sexy in his second stage of the cursed seal? Kinda, but then again I am attracted to weird shit like that.

40. Do you have a Naruto OC? One, Ume.

41. Looking back at some of your answers, do you think Naruto has taken over your life? A little. I LOVE IT! But I don't think it has fully taken over.


10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL

10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks

9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies

8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly

7. Our magazines have horoscopes

6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around

5. Our friends don't say "hi" by punching us in the arm

4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month

3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have

2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket

1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing


WOMEN'S VOCABULARY

Fine - This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five Minutes- This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

Nothing - This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine".

Go Ahead - (With Raised Eyebrows!) This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

Go Ahead - (Normal Eyebrows) This means "I give up" or "Do what you want because I don't care". You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

Loud Sigh- This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

Soft Sighs- Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

That's Okay - This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow".

Please Do - This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

Thanks - A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say "You're welcome".

Thanks A Lot - This is much different from "Thanks". A woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh" as she will only tell you "Nothing


WOMEN SUPERIORITY

We got off the Titanic first.

We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll it's pathetic.

Men's clothes make women look elfin and gorgeous. Men look like complete idiots in women's clothes.

We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

Taxi's stop for us.

Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

We know the Truth about whether or not size matters.

If we're not making enough money we can blame it on the glass ceiling.

It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the male's Speedo.

We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

We never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.


If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.


A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been beaten in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?


For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, So I must be gay
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Instant Message by Keelah reviews
She gave him names to kill, in order not to be killed herself. But having blood on her hands was turning out to be much worse than dying. "…There's still round 2…3…4…" When does this game end? She asked. "Don't you see, Sakura?" He said, "It never does."
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 54 - Words: 266,286 - Reviews: 3457 - Favs: 1,027 - Follows: 908 - Updated: 11/1/2013 - Published: 4/4/2008 - Sakura H., Sasuke U.
Lonely Omakes by The Anti-Stratigist reviews
This is a compilation of humorous one-shots that wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote them down. Enjoy.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,044 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 7/5/2011 - Published: 6/6/2010 - Complete
Stuck In A Loop by Inuyonas reviews
"My name is Sasuke Uchiha, My likes are NOT you, and my dislikes ARE you..." NOT YAOI!
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 20,844 - Reviews: 240 - Favs: 143 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 5/23/2011 - Published: 4/1/2010 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Time Braid by ShaperV reviews
Sakura thought she was a capable kunoichi until she died in the Chuunin Exam. Now she's stuck in a loop, dying again and again while she struggles to understand her strange predicament. How hard can it be to pass one stupid test? Sakura/Naruto/Hinata
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 203,939 - Reviews: 2972 - Favs: 3,707 - Follows: 2,033 - Updated: 5/20/2011 - Published: 7/5/2009 - Sakura H. - Complete
Akatsuki's Battle Royale by XThorn reviews
The Akatsuki are in need of a new member and what better way to see who's the best candidate then to kidnap them and make them all fight to the death. But why does he keep visiting her? Warning:lots of character deaths
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 14 - Words: 47,506 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 4/29/2011 - Published: 7/29/2010 - Sakura H., Itachi U. - Complete
Cranberry Anyone? by dragonladynine reviews
If traveling conditions are so great that the Sand siblings arrive unexpectedly ahead of schedule.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,465 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 4/5/2011 - Published: 6/12/2010 - Sakura H., Gaara - Complete
Sasuke, Let Me Tell You 'Bout by Deidara's Sugar Girl reviews
"Here is a kunai, and here is a shurikkan, a man puts his kunai in the woman's shurikkan, and then releases his ninjutsu into the shurikkan hole." "Excuse me?" Sakura, Ino, Neji, Naruto, Hinata and Lee try to explain the basics of baby making to Sasuke.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 895 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/19/2010 - Sasuke U., Sakura H.
Time Leaps by SilentThunder23 reviews
Apparently, Sakura punches so hard it effects the time-space continuum. / / "Your man strength has seriously fractured my view of reality." Crack.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,737 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/23/2010 - Naruto U., Sakura H. - Complete
Parental Control by Orange Sherbet reviews
Sakura's parents can't stand their daughter's boyfriend, so they've taken matters into their own hands. Based off the show Parental Control.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,278 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 14 - Published: 9/4/2010 - Sakura H., Naruto U. - Complete
Jumping on the Bandwagon: Clones in the Shadows by Smoochynose reviews
Naruto's been banished. Fortunately his friends don't approve of this movement.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,504 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 8 - Published: 8/18/2010 - Naruto U., Sakura H. - Complete
Who Knew Someone Could Mean So Much? by Sakura.Uchiha.614 reviews
R&R Even though Sakura had realized that she had went through hell and back because of the Uchiha she wouldn't give one moment of it back. She'd never look at her time and love that was wasted on Sasuke as a mistake because of what came out of it.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,496 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/17/2010 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Jumping on the Bandwagon: 27 Days by Smoochynose reviews
Danzo convinces the council to banish Naruto. Insanity ensues. "P.S. Naruto sends his love." Friendship fic
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,905 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 209 - Follows: 27 - Published: 8/11/2010 - Sakura H., Naruto U. - Complete
Jumping on the Bandwagon: Missin Village by Smoochynose reviews
Danzo managed to get the council to banish Konoha's most unpredictable ninja, unfortunately he didn't count on unpredictability being contagious. Accepted!Naruto Friendship Fic.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,867 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 230 - Follows: 47 - Published: 8/9/2010 - Naruto U., Sakura H. - Complete
Misunderstanding In A Hotel Reservation by DeepPoeticGirl reviews
/SasuSaku/ A misunderstanding led to complications. Sasuke Uchiha could not handle complications right now. Not between them. But there was no way in hell that he was going to sleep on the floor.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,602 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 336 - Follows: 25 - Published: 8/6/2010 - [Sasuke U., Sakura H.] - Complete
Lesson Learned by aej1085 reviews
Sometimes the best lessons are learned the hard way. A Naruto/Sakura oneshot
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,160 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/30/2010 - Naruto U., Sakura H. - Complete
Bushy Brows by Crazy Cherries reviews
In which Sakura is determined to shave two certain male green jumpsuit wearing freaks' eyebrows. And she will succeed. Then she will have a yummy dinner that isn't ramen with Sasuke. Minor Sasusaku, NejiTen, KanTen.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,445 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/30/2010 - Sakura H. - Complete
Stranger Places by Smoochynose reviews
Sakura's life is falling to pieces. A yellow haired boy with whiskers on his cheeks is ready to help though. But perhaps he needs hers more. SasuSaku with SakuNaru friendship. AU
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,015 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/28/2010 - Naruto U., Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
Babysitting Mishap by Tetol reviews
Sasuke never wanted to leave his daughter in the hands of Naruto Uzumaki. His wife forced him to do so and they ended up with a hole on their house, the hokage being eaten, and their daughter learned a new word. Fun. Watch as Naruto Fail his ass off.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,131 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/24/2010 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Happy Birthday Sasuke by Yuki Cross Kiryu reviews
This is the real reason why Itachi killed the clan.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 419 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/23/2010 - Sasuke U., Itachi U. - Complete
Six Signs That Sasuke Loves Sakura by TeddyBearHugs reviews
Hey! My name is Naruto Uzumaki, the future Hokage! Believe it! I'm here to tell you the six signs that Sasuke-teme is in love with Sakura-chan!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,591 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 355 - Follows: 49 - Published: 7/16/2010 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
Just Deal by Clockwork Mockingbird reviews
Okay, so I married this guy from a different country to stop a war. In the middle of making friends, making enemies, putting people in jail, pissing off his council, matchmaking, and getting kidnapped, I fell in love with him. Damn it all. SxS AU
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 74,352 - Reviews: 1392 - Favs: 1,555 - Follows: 645 - Updated: 7/10/2010 - Published: 2/14/2009 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Caring by Angelv98 reviews
When you have no experience whatsoever in comforting someone, what do you do when you're thrust into a situation where comfort is needed?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,817 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 6/16/2010 - Published: 4/25/2010 - Gaara, Sakura H. - Complete
Babyfied by Tiger Priestess reviews
Sasuke and Sakura have to babysit, but there's one problem: it's a two year old Naruto and Kakashi...well...he's a perverted five year old. Nothing will be the same for Team 7 again. Eventually SasukeSakura, possible other pairings. T for safety.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 70,365 - Reviews: 495 - Favs: 584 - Follows: 281 - Updated: 6/11/2010 - Published: 2/24/2008 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Ring, Ring by Xmarksthespot reviews
He proposes. She says, "Only if you get on one knee." He was in a meeting. She was in the hospital. They were on the phone. Oneshot, SasuSaku
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,186 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 183 - Follows: 9 - Published: 5/22/2010 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
All Of Them by Fenris13 reviews
Why? Why? Every single man! Every single one! All of them! They are all gay! Slight ItaSaku at end, Deidara...Many? Crackfiction! Rated T for sexual themes. There are crackpairings and there is YAOI and...some other stuff.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,282 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 7 - Published: 5/20/2010 - Sakura H. - Complete
A Spoonful of Sugar by Angelv98 reviews
What did the Hyuuga have that he didn't?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,760 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 14 - Published: 4/29/2010 - Gaara, Sakura H. - Complete
Dinner Table Talk by Rot-Chan reviews
Sasuke is jealous of Naruto's kitchen appliances, Sakura just can't say the right thing - and Hinata and Naruto's daughter gives them the low down on how her parents like to..."hug" in bed. At dinner. Yay. ::SasuSaku; NaruHina; crack/humor.::
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,538 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/28/2010 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
The Magically SelfAdjusting Pants by JanuaryEclipses reviews
It was turning out to be a boring, mission-less summer for Team 7. That is, of course, until a pair of magical pants enters the picture. Crackfic.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,813 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 223 - Follows: 20 - Published: 1/31/2010 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
50 Things Deidara is Not Allowed to Do by Deidara's Sugar Girl reviews
The title says it all. a list of 50 things Deidara is not allowed to do. a sort of Meme. Rated M for to be safe. -DSG
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 942 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/5/2010 - Deidara, Akatsuki - Complete
the Receipt by Xmarksthespot reviews
She wakes up one day to find an abundance of packages on her front door and a letter. Everything that she claimed Sasuke owed her were in those boxes. Sequel to the You Owe Me List.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,123 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 377 - Follows: 30 - Published: 12/26/2009 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
10 Reasons Orochimaru Is A Pedophile by XXnarutoyaoiXX reviews
10 Reasons Orochimaru Is A Pedophile. Crack. 'Nuff said.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 200 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/22/2009 - Orochimaru - Complete
the You Owe Me List by Xmarksthespot reviews
He wakes up one day to find a list, composed of fourteen things he has owed Sakura over the past several years. SasuSaku, oneshot
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 670 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 291 - Follows: 30 - Published: 12/21/2009 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
XOXO and Other Affectionate Letters by Guttersnipe reviews
Staring at the script, a pervasive sinking feeling swept through Sasuke. "You're actually serious, aren't you?" "Oh, I'm always serious about my porn, Sasuke. That's just not something you joke about." "I'm not acting in your porno, you sick, sick man."
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 57,546 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 247 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 9/26/2009 - Published: 6/4/2009 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
Resident Evil: Naruto Style by dart93 reviews
Naruto is the leader of LEAF and due to a few mistakes, his unit are infected with the virus and he is forced to purge them. Later he's attacked and uses his virus in hoping that the thing he would become would kill them all but instead gains godly power
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Horror - Chapters: 12 - Words: 40,142 - Reviews: 194 - Favs: 348 - Follows: 228 - Updated: 8/31/2009 - Published: 4/25/2009 - Naruto U., Anko M. - Complete
The Road To Recovery by Twigs-N-Leaves reviews
SasuSaku eventually - 12 Fail-safe ways to Forget about a Certain Stubborn, Black-Haired, Hormone-less Sharingan wielding Jerk And Get on With your Life because It Is Too Short To Spend All Your Precious Time Chasing After Sasuke Uchiha.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 90,458 - Reviews: 501 - Favs: 529 - Follows: 154 - Updated: 8/18/2009 - Published: 2/24/2009 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Sugar Rush by Tetol reviews
You shaved my Forehead!" When people get sugar rush, it's kinda hyper. When Sakura gets Sugar rushes, everything goes insane! What happens when she gets it while giving medicals to almost every ninja she knows! Read and find out!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,927 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/19/2009 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
NaruBook by Annie Sparklecakes reviews
CRACK. Facebook is addictive, even to ninja. Uchiha Sasuke is annoyed, Uchiha Karin is sad, and Uzumaki Naruto and Haruno Sakura are now engaged. Confused? The MiniFeed has all the answers.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 723 - Reviews: 366 - Favs: 958 - Follows: 77 - Published: 2/19/2009 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
Age Of Consent by Lady Silvamord reviews
"Sasuke Uchiha, did you just sell me to your crazy older brother?" How Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto learn that stealing Christmas trees off the Interstate is not the way to go. With help from Law Enforcement Agent Itachi Uchiha, of course. ItaSaku AU.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 16,609 - Reviews: 326 - Favs: 996 - Follows: 189 - Updated: 1/1/2009 - Published: 12/31/2008 - Itachi U., Sakura H.
Do You Remember Love by DigiFruit reviews
Naruto dies and then wakes up as a twelve-year-old genin. He discovers that the shadow clone technique duplicates his soul each time he uses it, and he is cursed to relive the tragedy that is his life over and over again for every soul he had duplicated.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 16,145 - Reviews: 551 - Favs: 2,176 - Follows: 352 - Published: 8/13/2008 - Naruto U., Sakura H. - Complete
What's in a Name? by Domestic Servant reviews
Sakura and Sasuke throw around ideas on the name of their child. Of course, what would an event like this be without our three favorite shinobi randomly popping up? Naruto, Sai, and Kakashi FTW! Warnings of partial crack. Completed.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,995 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 7/26/2008 - Published: 7/17/2008 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
The Office by starfreckled reviews
Working in an office had never been Naruto's first choice when it came to ideal jobs...And he'd never guessed he had to work with a tomato farmer. Although he couldn't complain about the receptionist... Naruto/The Office cross-over. Some NaruSaku, Sas
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,947 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/25/2008 - Naruto U., Sakura H. - Complete
No One Knows My Boys Better by Miranda Panda-chan reviews
Drabble Fic. I know more about my boys than anyone else. I, Sakura, know things about the future hokage, the traitor, and the copy-nin that know one else knows...or will ever know. Hint of SasuSaku Reviews appreciated!
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,068 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/1/2008 - Sakura H. - Complete
Breaking Up Isn't that Hard to Do by Narf-for-the-Garthoc reviews
This is not an epic tale of action, suspense and true love. Yeah, I'm disappointed, too. NaruSaku
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,024 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 497 - Follows: 67 - Published: 4/11/2008 - Sakura H., Naruto U. - Complete
A New Kind of Restoration by avenged reviews
Oneshot, ItaSaku. Bodies in the closet? Baseball? Terribly complicated nicknames? This is what happens when Itachi takes clan restoration into his own hands...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,383 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 12 - Published: 3/30/2008 - Itachi U., Sakura H. - Complete
ctrl c, ctrl v by ohwhatsherface reviews
AU. Team7. I don't understand. This level of failure should not be possible.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,033 - Reviews: 195 - Favs: 359 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 3/23/2008 - Published: 3/12/2008 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
Of Dreams and Nightmares by Chibi-Ra-Chan reviews
Due to a mission breifing that failed to explain everything, Sakura is stuck in prision with her teammates. To get out she needs to marry one of them, or they'll all be killed. So far, Death is looking like the better option. Sakura x Various Naruto Males
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,605 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/21/2008 - Sakura H., Naruto U. - Complete
So Delicious by Farawen reviews
The Naruto gang visits a karaoke bar, and the only song available is Fergalicious. Under the influence of Red Bull, everyone makes up their own version. First up is Gaara. Special appearance by Akatsuki.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,638 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 3/4/2008 - Published: 6/21/2007 - Gaara, Sasuke U. - Complete
Beautiful World by DigiFruit reviews
With Naruto gone on his training journey with Jiraiya, Sakura finds that she's falling deeper and deeper into darkness without his cheerful presence. So she tries to figure out how he was able to see such a beautiful world, when all she saw is an ugly one
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,354 - Reviews: 136 - Favs: 570 - Follows: 83 - Published: 2/26/2008 - Naruto U., Sakura H. - Complete
Road Trip by Flutie2891 reviews
Honestly, Sakura couldn't take those idiots anywhere. Team 7 plus Sai.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,474 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/6/2008 - Sakura H., Naruto U. - Complete
My Life is Over by Gennerator reviews
Well, so she suddenly had Sharingan. And Sasuke was her brother. And someone was trying to kill her. And she had to go to Suna. And Gaara was her bodyguard. You couldn't have everything, right?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 37,816 - Reviews: 626 - Favs: 407 - Follows: 287 - Updated: 1/4/2008 - Published: 7/24/2006 - Sakura H., Gaara - Complete
Certifiable by Guttersnipe reviews
THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! I’M NOT CRAZY, DATTEBAYO! WHY THE HECK DO I HAVE TO SEE A SHRINK? BAACHAN! BAACHAN! Ah yes. It is time for all good shinobi to get their psychological evaluations, in Konoha. Crack! is king here. Includes all of the Rookie Nine.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,778 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/25/2007 - Naruto U., Sakura H. - Complete
Writing On The Ceiling by Beautifulx-Tears reviews
Just before Sakura heads off to Uni her parents finally let her redecorate her room. Everyone leaves a special message on the ceiling, but one tell her more than she thought it would! Please read And Review! Not Likely To please everyone! No pairings
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 999 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 11 - Published: 12/21/2007 - Sakura H., Sai - Complete
Hush Little Baby by ohwhatsherface reviews
Naruto, Sakura. Sakura, the men in her life, and how they all abandon her. Usually.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,423 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 176 - Follows: 17 - Published: 12/6/2007 - Sakura H., Naruto U. - Complete
Naruto Zombies by Keith B. Real reviews
A mysterious rain cloud turns the inhabitants of Konoha into cannibals, all except for a few who must now try and survive.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 5 - Words: 18,194 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 11/6/2007 - Published: 10/22/2007 - Sakura H., Shikamaru N. - Complete
To Whom It May Concern by avenged reviews
Hello. This is Uchiha Sasuke, and before you fangirl all over me and I forcefully remove your head from your neck, there are a few things I'd like to clarify...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 759 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 155 - Follows: 14 - Published: 10/23/2007 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
I Avenge You! by Miyako-hime reviews
SasuSaku AU. Features Itachi POV. Sasuke, you don’t need to pee on a frog to do that. Have some dignity.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 718 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 16 - Published: 9/13/2007 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
Till Our Last Breath by sillimiss reviews
“Who are those names?” “You don’t know of the legendary sannin?” “I do, they are Tsunade, Jiraiya, and Orochimaru.” “No, I mean the second sannin.” Standing before the memorial stone, the story was told.//SasuSaku//Side: NaruHina//OOCness
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,318 - Reviews: 174 - Favs: 246 - Follows: 34 - Published: 8/27/2007 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Poor Unfortunate Souls by Farawen reviews
Oneshot about what REALLY happened when Sasuke left Konoha...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 856 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/13/2007 - Sasuke U., Orochimaru - Complete
The Dishwasher by Odat reviews
Sakura hates emptying the dishwasher. And to the intruder in her house right now, she washes her kunai in the dishwasher. Just thought you might like to know that. And by the way, a butter knife most certainly is a deadly weapon! SasuSaku
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,419 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 13 - Published: 4/17/2007 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Into Sakura's Lair by ohwhatsherface reviews
While Sakura sleeps, Naruto and Sasuke go through her bag in search of food. Tampons and underwear galore.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,174 - Reviews: 147 - Favs: 503 - Follows: 45 - Published: 3/11/2007 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Beautiful Day by Narf-for-the-Garthoc reviews
Naruto focuses on his last day as Hokage and the people who mean so much to him.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,825 - Reviews: 220 - Favs: 697 - Follows: 92 - Published: 12/24/2006 - Naruto U., Sakura H. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Haruno Sakura Is Insane reviews
She's lost it. Her sanity is gone. Now others will have to suffer.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,514 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 8 - Published: 5/12/2011 - Sakura H. - Complete
Watching, Protecting, Loving reviews
Itachi was always looking out for Sasuke, but then a little blossom caught his attention. He watched as she bloomed even when the odds were against her. He didn't think that such a fragile flower could save him.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,498 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 6 - Published: 5/9/2011 - Itachi U., Sakura H. - Complete
Biography of a Superhero reviews
Being a teenager is hard enough by itself. Add superpowers and supervillains into the equation and you've made it ten times harder. Take a peek into the world of a teenage superhero and her attempts to be "normal".
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 23,154 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 5/2/2011 - Published: 1/31/2011 - Sakura H., Sasuke U.
Sasuke's Wedding reviews
He didn't invite her because he expected tears. He got the opposite. Not SasuSaku
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 605 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/6/2011 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Crease in the Fabric of Time reviews
I always knew that being on a team with my cousin and his bestfriend would turn out in disaster. I just didn't know it would mess with the fabric of time. Those idiots! On Hiatus
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,279 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 1/31/2011 - Published: 12/12/2010 - Sakura H., Itachi U.
Clothing reviews
It's the overwritten 'what should have happened when Sasuke and Team Kakashi met at Orochimaru's hideout' scene. Sasuke bashing and slight SasuSaku if you squint at the end.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 421 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/11/2011 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Nightmare Fairytale reviews
A heroine finally unites with her soulmate after he returns from vanquishing the antagonist of his past. A tale that seems Disney worthy, but little do you know the real story.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,919 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/19/2010 - Sakura H. - Complete
Reasons Why I Need To Get Over Uchiha Sasuke reviews
Sick and tired of being in love with a man that can't return your feelings? Have you decided that it's time to move on? How better to do that than create a list of his faults? Results may vary. Satisfaction guaranteed one way or another.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 16,146 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 12/17/2010 - Published: 8/4/2010 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Death Is Freedom reviews
I killed Uchiha Sasuke, and we lived happily ever after.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,387 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 10 - Published: 11/27/2010 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Haruno Sakura Is A Lesbian! reviews
I just wanted him to suffer! Is that too much to ask? He deserves it...right?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,579 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/26/2010 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
It Was Always Him reviews
She's figured out that she never loved him, it was the blond that had her heart since the beginning.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,037 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 8 - Updated: 11/25/2010 - Published: 11/24/2010 - Sakura H., Naruto U. - Complete
Never Alone reviews
The two people she thought of as safe, the ones who were suppose to outlive her, are killed before her eyes. There is one person that is able to help, only one person who can truly understand her pain.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,948 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/24/2010 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
How Does That Make You Feel? reviews
Because everyone in Konoha needs a therapist.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,002 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 11/8/2010 - Published: 11/7/2010 - Sasuke U., Sakura H.
My Best Friend's Wedding Dress reviews
Ino's getting married and Sakura, her maid-of-honor, has to help find a dress worthy for her. While they're at it why shouldn't she try one on herself? What could it hurt?
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 950 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/11/2010 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Why Do You Punch Me? reviews
An unexpected meeting at the library turns into a revealing and painful lesson for Sai.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 408 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/10/2010 - Sakura H., Sai - Complete
Staff of:
  1. Cherry Blossom Centric 3
    Anime/Manga Naruto