Pugs189
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Poll: Out of these ten, who is your favorite Harry Potter character? Vote Now!
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Joined 07-29-10, id: 2471553, Profile Updated: 01-03-12
Author has written 5 stories for Harry Potter.

Hey there!

I am a bad writer, but i do it anyways. lol. i love this website sooooo frickin much! Anyways i love harry potter and i currently have 1 in-progress about Lucy Weasley, please read if you don't mind bad writing. MY SEQUELS WILL BE BETTER BECAUSE I WILL BE OLDER

SHIPS IN HARRY POTTER THAT I FRICKIN ADORE...OR JUST NORMALLY LIKE

Lily Luna P./Scamander twins (but they're not twins in my story cuz i didnt know when i started writing it. I always thought of Lysander being older)

Harry P./Ginny W.

Scorpius M./Rose W.

James P./Lily E.

Neville L./Luna L.

Rolf S./Luna L.

Lucy W./Scamander twins

Molly W./Lysander S.

Teddy L./Victorie W.

Ron W./Hermione G.

Oliver W./Katie B.

Oliver W./Alicia S.

Nymphadora T./Remus L.

I love them more than Dobby loves socks! I partake in Mew & Mor's Weird Pairings.

I, Pugs189, have challenged myself! I am part of of the Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenges Forum

CHARACTERS :) :) (stuff in parentheses is not part of the URL) also in the stories the eye color might be different, mainly just the hair, maybe face is what I imagined my characters to look like :) And yes, I know Quinn in my story is unoriginal with the whole Dianna plays Quinn thing in glee but oh well!!

Lucy Celia Weasley: http://www.google.com/imgres?q=lucy+weasley+brown+hair&um=1&hl=en&client=safari&sa=N&rls=en&biw=1280&bih=632&tbm=isch&tbnid=sXt7r5Qz2giF7M:&imgrefurl=http://corporatecake.insanejournal.com/tag/character:%2Blucy%2Bweasley&docid=M81mRp29tfJ8xM&imgurl=http://kayascodelario.net/photos/albums/productions/tv/2007_Skins/S3/stills/ss3-27.jpg&w=510&h=383&ei=1NG-TpDjHuGniQL2lvCGAw&zoom=1 (her hair should be lighter, her eyebrows thinner, her lips thinner, hair thicker)

Lily Luna Potter: Alice Longbottom: (should have thinner, shorter hair, face should be more like Lily in the movies)

London Daphne Malfoy: http://www.google.com/imgres?q=ashley+tisdale+blonde+white+wavy+hair&um=1&hl=en&client=safari&rls=en&biw=1280&bih=595&tbm=isch&tbnid=gnDilX8BjyKRxM:&imgrefurl=http://www.mylifeisbrilliant.com/beauty-style/celebrity/top-15-ashley-tisdale-hairstyles/&docid=N-ayNjO78YNG6M&imgurl=http://www.mylifeisbrilliant.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Brown-Long-Wavy-Hairstyles-Photo-Shoot.jpeg&w=800&h=1056&ei=_5n2TqWSAoiliQLZxv2YDQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=634&vpy=207&dur=1983&hovh=258&hovw=195&tx=145&ty=191&sig=103869909734716035423&page=1&tbnh=123&tbnw=96&start=0&ndsp=27&ved=1t:429,r:14,s:0 (her hair should be wayyyy paler. LOL ASHLEY TISDALE IK)

Quinn Karpentar: http://www.google.com/imgres?q=Dinna+Agron+straightened+hair&um=1&hl=en&client=safari&rls=en&biw=1280&bih=632&tbm=isch&tbnid=h2rcjR7tRtwC1M:&imgrefurl=http://www.snitchseeker.com/completed-salazars-lair-works/are-you-going-to-scarborough-fair-73582/&docid=f6jo0fOs8haXwM&imgurl=http://joyhog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/Dianna-Agron.png&w=522&h=440&ei=i9O-TqnQFurciQKPtpmXAw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=884&vpy=186&dur=237&hovh=124&hovw=143&tx=114&ty=114&sig=103869909734716035423&page=1&tbnh=122&tbnw=140&start=0&ndsp=26&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:0

Quinn's is really funny because at the bottom it says snitchseeker.com, even though i searched for Dianna Aragon, not anything about Harry Potter! I am trying to find more matches as-you-read!!!!

FUNNY STUFFS:

Annoying things to do on an elevator: read this!:) very funny!!

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

23)When the elevator door opens run outside and down the hall yelling, "OH NO I'M GONNA MISS THE ELEVATOR!!"

THINGS YOU MUST DO BEFORE YOU HIT 20: SUPERMARKET EDITION:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

17. Go to the fruit and veg department - get two bananas' and put one in each pocket - walk around the store calling everyone pilgrim in your best John wayne accent sporadically whipping them out of you pocket - making gun noises and then slumping to the floor as if you've just taken several
bullets to the chest.

18. Bring your own DVD, popcorn, sweets, drinks and nibbles and pick a
nice spot on the floor in the electrical section. Sit cross legged and enjoy the film. (soap operas and kleenex are optional)

19. Take boneless chicken breasts out of the packet and throw them skyward whilst screaming" Fly my little ones, fly and be free!"

20. Randomly jump into people's shopping carts asking "Will you be my mommy?"

Ways to Torture the Pizza Guy (part 1)

-Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say, "BedWetter’s Camp, right?"

-After ordering, say, "I wonder what THIS button does." Simulate a cutoff.

-Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.

-Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.

-Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.

-Ask if you they can put food coloring in the cheese.

-Ask to see a menu.

-Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.

-Be vague in your order.

-Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.

-Change your accent every three seconds.

-If (s)he says the word “pizza”, say, "Please don't mention that word."

-Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say, "Where was I? Who are you?"

-Give them your address, exclaim, "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up

Really Dumb Store labels:

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (too late )

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (thank you captain obvious . . .)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." ( no comment . . .)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (Oh yeah because many kids are driving cars and operating machinery these days . . .)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (Isn't that kinda the point??)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (okay that made me curious, what other use??)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (REALLY now?!?!)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (because they don't want to give us the fake bacon, they want to give us the REAL fake bacon :P)

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
(NO WAY!! I'm gonna use it like lip gloss!!)

On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children.
(Nope. i'm gonna stab it right into those kids..)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(DAMN!! i really wanted to fly!!)

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their butt off at the others.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you enjoy glomping people from behind copy this to your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

I'm crazy and people who have an aversion to that are stupid. Craziness can be cured with pills. Too bad nothing cures stupidity. If you're crazy, but not stupid, copy and paste this on your profile.

I'm impatient, weird, and a little unreasonable. I make mistakes. I'm random, obnoxious and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst ...then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best...Copy and paste onto your profile if you agree.

-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiousity was framed.

-they say "guns dont kill people, people kill people.' Well, i think the gun helps, cuz if you just stood ther and yelled BANG I dont think you'd kill too many people.

-yeah, Im a loser. but the coolest loser you'll ever meet

-save the earth. it's the only planet with chocolate.

-when Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

-when Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.

-i called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse

-the dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide

-if electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from?

-Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking creatures?

-you cry, i cry. you laugh, i laugh. you jump off a cliff, i laugh even harder

-If at first you don't succeed, Then skydiving isn't for you!

-Before you critisize someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes!

-When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

-A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

-Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

-I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something sparkly.

-Don't hit kids. No, seriously, they have guns now

-WARNING: Children left unattended will be sold to the circus.

-It's you and me against the world...we attack at dawn.

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

A friend will help me find my way when I'm lost. A best friend will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

A friend will help me learn to drive. A best friend will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

A friend will watch my pets when I go away. A best friend won't let me go away

A friend will help me up when I fall down. A best friend will point and laugh because she tripped me

A friend will bail me out of jail. A best friend will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we screwed up".

A friend will go to a concert with me. A best friend will kidnap the band with me

A friend calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs." A best friend calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad"

A friend asks me for my number. A best friend asks me for her number

A friend hides me from the cops. A best friend is probably the reason they are after me in the first place

A friend lets me make an idiot of myself in public. A best friend is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

A friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

A friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

A friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - dammit - run!"

A friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

Friends fade. Best Friends are 4 Ever.

A friend will help me find my way when I'm lost. A best friend will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

A friend will help me learn to drive. A best friend will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

A friend will watch my pets when I go away. A best friend won't let me go away

A friend will help me up when I fall down. A best friend will point and laugh because she tripped me

A friend will bail me out of jail. A best friend will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we screwed up".

A friend will go to a concert with me. A best friend will kidnap the band with me

A friend calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs." A best friend calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad"

A friend asks me for my number. A best friend asks me for her number

A friend hides me from the cops. A best friend is probably the reason they are after me in the first place

A friend lets me make an idiot of myself in public. A best friend is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

A friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

A friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

A friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - dammit - run!"

A friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

Friends fade. Best Friends are 4 Ever.

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next
week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Let us see if you fall for this like I did:

You know you live in 2010 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office.

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar.

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination.

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after me lucky charms."

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month."

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand.

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force."

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work."

14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot.

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.

16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive.

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast.

18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day."

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.

20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor.

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort.

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling.

24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full."

25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell.

26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.

28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bees."

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

30) I will not go to class skyclad.

31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core."

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion.

35) I will not call the Weasley twins, "bookends."

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends."

37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.

38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.

39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts.

40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"

41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck.

42) I do not have a Dalek Patronus.

43) I will not lick Trevor.

44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey."

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween.

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously.

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions.

48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.

49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice.

50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled the handle on a door that said push, copy this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

now for semoehtnig dffiernet...

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile.

╔╗╔═╦╗ Put this on your profile
║╚╣║║╚╗If you like to laugh!
╚═╩═╩═╝

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital!

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blond, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

What a guy means, when he says some stuff-
"You know how bad my memory is!”
"I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned…but I forgot your birthday."

“Oh, don’t fuss, I just cut myself, it’s not big deal.”
"I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

“Take a breath honey. You work too hard.

"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"It‘s a guy thing"

"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?"

"Why isn't it already on the table?"

"It would take too long to "
"I have no idea how it works."

"I cant find it."

"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."


This is Bunny.

(\_/)
(O.o)
o(/_._\)o

Copy and paste Bunny to your profile to help him achieve world domination!

On the other hand, this is Kitty.

/l、
(゚、 。 7
l、 ~ヽ
じしf,)ノ

Kitty is Bunny's nemesis. Or evil accomplice. Nobody really knows.

Either way, copy and paste Kitty as well, or Bunny will get lonely!

(\_/)
(O.o)
/o o\O

Join the dark side, Mwuhahahaha!!

Paste the bunny on your profile and join the dark side! (We have cookies!)

whos cruel idea was it for lisp to have and s in it?

are children who act in 'R' rated films allowed to see them?

If the sky is the limit then what is space, over the limit??

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Isn't Disneyland just a people trap operated by a mouse?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are crazy?

Why is it when some products you have to turn upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn down?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?

If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?

If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable?

Why is it the TWELVE days of Christmas when there is only one day of Christmas?

Since a running back runs forward, why is he called a running back?

Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?

If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?

When a boy is named after his dad, he is called 'Junior,' but what do
you call a girl that is named after her mother?

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

If all of the Acme stuff doesn't work, why does Wile Coyote keep buying their products?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from
strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that ?

Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do?

Why do people call it an ATM machine, but they know it's really saying Automated Teller Machine Machine?

Why do people say PIN number when that truly means Personal Identification Number Number?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Death is hereditary.

There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.

An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance?

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

if you blow in a dogs face he'll get mad at you, but take him for a car ride, and the first thing he does is stick his head out the window!

if two wrongs dont make a right, try three

whoever said nothings's impossible, they never tryed slamming a revoling door!

apparently 1 in 5 people are chinese, there are five people in my familly so it must be one of them. it's ether my mum or dad. or my older brother colin. or my younger brother ho-chan-chu. but i think it's colin.

borrow money from pessimists- they dont expect to get it back!

there are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant.

if olive oil comes from olive's then where does baby oil come from?

ifr quitters never win, and winners never quit, how can it be good to 'quit while your ahead?'

whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

how is it possible to have a civil war?

if a fork were made of gold would it still be called silver ware?

Can you make a candle out of your earwax?

When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?

"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?

Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?

Are marbles made of marble?

Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?

If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)

Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

Can you get cornered in a round room?

Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?

Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?

In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?

How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?

Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??

6 Truths of Life

1. You cannot touch all of your teeth with your tongue

2.All idiots after reading this will try it

3. The first truth is a lie.

4.You are now laughing at your own stupidity

5. you will put this on your profile

6. you still have a stupid smile on your face

WHAT TO DO IN AN EXAM YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL ANYWAYS:

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Darn this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how y the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin humming the theme to Star Wars.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant roach into the room and release it on a nearby.

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

42. Dress like the professor.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike
English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves

Whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be

Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better .

The women won (although in Spanish, it techinchally is La Computadora)

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Bound With Silver Threads by Snakequeen-in-Norway reviews
Lily Luna Potter years 3-7. Why is she stuck with a Little Malfoy tag-along? What do the coming years hold for them and everyone else? How will they change and grow, what will happen as they do, & who will end up with whom? Eventual femslash. Multiple pairings. Lily/OC. Also stars Scorpius Malfoy's OC little sister. Not T until Chap 29, really not until Chap 32 & nothing too major.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 53 - Words: 200,469 - Reviews: 578 - Favs: 242 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 5/13 - Published: 2/28/2010 - [Lily Luna P., OC] - Complete
Potter by Name, Malfoy at Heart by ThisIsBlue reviews
Lily's past is horrifying.Its why she doesnt want to be called a Potter,its why shes happy to be sorted into SLytherin a week after the other first years,its why the Potters' foes are her closest friends, and its why she has a secret that could ruin her.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 147,445 - Reviews: 300 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 6/1/2012 - Published: 9/21/2010 - Lily Luna P., Scorpius M.
Death at the Canyon by BookWorm77071 reviews
"And here he is, mourning the death of a woman he never truly loved, fancied, or liked, really." There's some mixed-up romance in here, too.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 783 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/27/2011 - Lee J., Marietta E. - Complete
Meeting You by littlepixiebookreader reviews
Molly Weasley has met all her children's future wifes, or in Ginny's case husband. And yeah, she hasn't reacted well to all of them, but eventually they seem to warm their way into her heart.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,302 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 6/2/2011 - Published: 10/12/2010 - Molly W., Arthur W. - Complete
A Forgotten Weasley by DaughterofHermes130 reviews
Who am I? Lucy Minerva Weasley, daughter of Percy and Audrey Weasley, sister of Molly II. One of the Forgotten Weasleys. If you're interested in my story, great. If not, I could honestly care less.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,472 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 6/1/2011 - Published: 12/13/2010 - Lucy W., James S. P.
Awen Mna by fireflyshollow reviews
In her quest for knowledge, Hermione involves herself with a group of fundemental witches. What secrets will she find in the past and within herself? DH compliant, Epilogue Ignored
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 29,819 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 4/17/2011 - Published: 11/9/2010 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
And They All Fall Down by coomelove reviews
Hermione Grangers life has been turned upside down.She isn't who she thought she was. What now? Drama, Adventure and a little romance.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 24 - Words: 69,195 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 12/9/2010 - Hermione G., Draco M.
5 things about Lucy Weasly by fictionlover94 reviews
As the title says.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 690 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 12/10/2010 - Published: 7/9/2009 - Lucy W. - Complete
Today, Tomorrow and Forever by tamara72 reviews
for Sora Snape's Gem Challenge, Molly II gives a special gift to her little sister. Next Gen series.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 439 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Published: 11/10/2010 - Molly W., Lucy W. - Complete
Pandora's Little Pithos of Preteens by mew-tsubaki reviews
T for some language/themes.NOT SLASH.It's all the 2nd gen kids -some grow here- as driven and personified as one can be.From Lucy to Lily, this 14-part story will grasp each kid in an emotionally terrifying way.Do you dare to open Pandora's box?R&R,thx
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 11 - Words: 10,200 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 6/28/2010 - Published: 6/25/2010 - Lucy W., Lily Luna P.
Gag Gone Wrong by tamara72 reviews
Fred & James prank on Lucy & Rose goes dangerously wrong. 7th in my Next Generation Series.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,730 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 11/13/2009 - Published: 10/4/2009 - Percy W., Lucy W. - Complete
Once Laughing Eyes by La Fille Avec Le Stylo reviews
Ariana Dumbledore only meant to protect her brother Aberforth from the pretty lights coming from those funny sticks. She hadn't meant to die. But that's what happened anyways.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,131 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/30/2009 - Aberforth D., Ariana D. - Complete
Daddy's Arms Wide Open by tamara72 reviews
First time fathers George, Harry, Ron and Draco with their newborn children. Fourth in the Next Generation series. Also, for the Parent/Child Song Fic Challenge.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,132 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/9/2009 - George W., Ron W. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Rose Deserves Roses reviews
"She's my girlfriend, Scamander." Scorpius glared at him."Please. Like that matters. I would be good, so good to her if I was dating Rose fricking Weasley. It doesn't matter if you're dating her, I'm not going to let you hurt her."
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 755 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 4 - Published: 12/30/2011 - Rose W., Lysander S. - Complete
He likes her, she likes him
"If only Rose could see I'm the one for her, not Scorpius. I'm the one who watches her reviews. I tell her what the gossip websites are saying about her. I'm the one who makes sure she is the center of attention." RoseLorcan. ONE-SHOT, 48 hour chall
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,170 - Published: 12/29/2011 - Lorcan S., Rose W. - Complete
Shoots for the moon, lands among the stars reviews
She always shoots for the moon, but lands among the stars- her cousins. Lucy is tragically ignored. And maybe she's getting tired of it. Lucy might have to sacrifice a lot to change that. Put as Lily/Lucy so people will read. Please review!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 13,063 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12/23/2011 - Published: 1/23/2011 - Lucy W., Lily Luna P.
HEDWIG: A POEM reviews
A poem I wrote about Hedwig and Harry. Please R&R. This is my 2nd fanfiction.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 51 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/31/2010 - Hedwig, Harry P. - Complete
Harry's Second Friend: Hedwig through the years reviews
Hedwig through the years. A story about Hedwig's and Harry's friendship. Please R&R. This is my first fanfiction!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 291 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/31/2010 - Harry P., Hedwig - Complete