A Writer Among Thousands
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Joined 08-01-10, id: 2474811, Profile Updated: 03-27-13
Author has written 4 stories for Harry Potter.

WARNING TO ALL THIS PROFILE CONTAINS SWEARING.

It's my profile I'll swear If I want to.

Basic $hit:

Name: anonymous ;)

Hair colour: Ginger and freaking proud;)

Eyes: brown

skin: unbelievably pale ( but i'm human, i swear!)

other $hit:

I'm obsessed with Frank Iero

I have a friend who is a hobo, he has a spoon, don't say you weren't warned.

I fucking love My Chemical Romance


HARRY POTTER is AMAZING

My wand: 10 inches Willow Phoenix tailfeather

House: Slytherin!!!

Boggart: Dementor

Patronus: a big black dog (hint hint)

Animagus: Fox

Place on the team: Beater

Future job: Auror

Favorite marauder: Padfoot

Least fav marauder: wormy

Favorite spells: Accio, Lumos and Bombarda

Favorite Classes: Transfiguration, Charms, DADA, Potions and Astronomy.

Favorite Potions: Felix Felicis, veritaserum and draught of the living death

Five favourite quotes:

1. "You haven't got a letter on yours...I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid - we know we're called Gred and Forge." -George

2. "A Study of Hogwarts' Prefects and Their Later Careers." That sounds fascinating. -Ron

3. Fred: Oh get out of the way, Percy. Harry's in a hurry.
George: Yeah, he's off to the Chamber of Secrets for a cup of tea with his fanged servant.

4. Fred: He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.

5. Class: Riddikulus! Malfoy: This class is ridiculous.

Who would you most likely be best buddies with? Ginny, Lily, Sirius, James, Hermione, Ron, Gred and Forge, Harry and Remus.If they were all the same age.(I'm a People person)

Three things Amortentia would smell like to you? Books, Buttered popcorn and Lavender.

Golden Trio or The Marauders? Marauders all the way they are EPIC!

Zonko’s Joke Shop or Honeydukes? Honeydukes, Iike my sweeties.

Invisibility Cloak or Elder Wand? The Invisibility Cloak (duh i already have a wand!)

Portkey or Apparation? Apparation, It's handier

One character you wish lived? umm... well sirius...and remus... and forge... aaand hedwig...and dobby! ...and Dumbledore...maybe snape

Are you obsessed with Harry Potter? WELL NOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you in the cell poking you with a spoon.

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Try to half-ass comfort you when you feel down.
REAL FRIENDS: Grab you by the shoulders, shake you, and say "Bitch, snap out of it!"

You know your addiction to Harry Potter is getting dangerous when you've added words like "Voldemort", "Hogwarts", and "Marauders" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done that, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you like chocolate, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you honestly don't give a flying flip what anyone in any clique thinks about you, copy this onto your profile

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people,PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren’t, copy this, put it in your profile

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself post this in your profile

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you hate Twilight, Edward Cullen and all the fangirls that chatter about it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are THE Harry Potter fan, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that black is better then white, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Remus Lupin should not die, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Severus Snape should not die, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Sirius Black should not die, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Fred Weasley should not die, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think there's a reason why Hero of Time abbreviated is H.O.T. then, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Justin Bieber is stupid, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate the Jonas brothers, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile

If you hear voices in your head and know that they are real put this on your profile.

If you know the clowns are out to get you, copy and paste this into your profile.

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this into ya profile.

If you believe that straight, gay, bi, and lesbian people are all equal and entitled to their beliefs, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever spun around in a chair and gone, "WEEEEE," copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you think Japan is cool copy this to your profile.

If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventilated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever crashed into a wall while sugar high copy and paste this on your profile.

If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile.

If you have ever considered going to the dark side since they have cookies, copy this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy this onto it to make it even longer

If you have ever dreamed about being an Anime Character, copy and paste this into your profile

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc. then copy this into your profile!

If you avoid teen fads and don't live your life according to others copy and paste this.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.

If you are obsessed with something considered childish for someone your age, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile.

I once read that only math can save us now. Put this in your profile if you're screwed.

If you have ever asked someone to repeat a question because you didn't understand it, then did it again just to annoy them, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name after mine! SeverusHermione The Slytherin that cares

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

IF YOUR LIFE WERE A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.

opening credits:
rock and roll part 2 by gary glitter

waking up
walk this way by aerosmiths

first day of school
we will rock you by queen

making a new best friend
i caught myself by paramore

falling in love
let me entertain you by robbie williams

breaking up
leave out all the rest by linkin park

prom
boom boom pow by black eyed peas

graduation
peach by prince

lifes ok
one of the boys by katy perry

death of close friend
shut up and drive by rihanna

mental breakdown
love story by taylor swift

driving
addicted to love by tina turner

flashback
big ten inch record by aerosmiths

getting back together
hot N cold by katy perry

birth of a child
dancing with myself by billy idol

wedding scene
mercy by duffy

car accident
grenade by bruno mars

final battle
kids by robbie williams and kylie minogue

death scene
paradise city by guns n roses

funneral song
u cant touch this by MC hammer

end credits
heartbreaker by pat benatar

deleted scenes
dirty diana by michael jackson

fun wasn't it!


YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night

TOTAL: 11

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/stick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink.
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars
You were in gymnastics/dance?
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.

You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing

Score: 11


For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD ones are you.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pendantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake

I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist


If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!


1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next
week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your nec k!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

Send This In An E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile!


If your having trouble on a test,
just remember that the answers
are always right in front of you.
(if you're sitting behind someone smart)


50 ways to make a teacher want to hit you.

1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (keep your back on the walls as you walk, point your finger up
like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.)

2.After everything your teacher says, ask why continuously.

3.If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask” DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG?????” very loudly.

4. If your teacher starts blowing up at you for saying that, simply reply, “wow I can tell you’re a blast at parties”

5. Sit in a corner and wait for everyone to stare at you. When they do, grab your head and scream “ THE LIGHT! MAKE IT
STOP! ARGH IT BURNS!!!!”

6. Flick pieces of paper around the class.

7. When your teacher tells you to stop, cross your arms and say, “Your racist against paper aren’t you.”

8. Don’t do your Homework.

9. When your teacher asks you why you didn’t do your homework say “I dropped it while beating up this guy
for saying you’re the worst teacher ever.” then sit there and smile sweetly.

10. When you have a supply teacher, wait for them to write their name on the board. Then when they say hello my name is
Mr./Mrs (insert name here), you stand up and say “PROVE IT!”

11. When your teacher asks why you were late say, “My goldfish died.” Then burst into tears.

12.When handing in your homework, write this paper will self-destruct in 5 seconds at the bottom.

13.When you leave the class bow and say, “May the force be with you, young one.”

14. When the teacher turns the light off, start singing opera as loud as you can. When they turn the light back on,
look around pretending to be confused.

15. Whisper to the person next to you. When the teacher comes up behind you, scream “OMG GET AWAY! RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!”

16. Walk into class dancing the Macarena

17. Tell your teacher you heard the other teachers talking about him/her in the staff room

18. Raise your hand and say "I totally agree" after everything your teacher says

19. Spend the whole lesson trying to lick your elbow

20. Speak in French.

21. Come late to class in a Spider-Man costume; say there was "a disturbance”

22. When they tell someone to turn around have everyone in class do it as well

23. "The homework’s due now? Oh, give me a minute then."

24. Hand in an essay where every word is mispelt.

25. Run in the room screaming, “THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!”

26. When the teacher asks you why you are late, say, “the queen is never late, everyone else is simply early”.

27. When a teacher asks you a question, say, “I’m sorry, the brain you tried to
reach has been disconnected, please leave me alone or try again later, thank you.”

28. When the teacher turns on the overhead projector, scream “AAH MY EYES!!”

29. Tell yourself knock knock jokes, then laugh loads.

30. Hide under your desk and yell “THE SKY IS FALLING!”

31. When someone knocks on the door, shout “OH NO, THEY’RE COMING FOR ME!”

32. Bring in a year 7 and says he’s your new pet.

33. In your technology lesson, when the teacher asks you what you are making, say a nuclear bomb.

34, when your teacher asks you a question just stare at them.

35. Constantly talk to yourself in a low voice.

36. Purposely fall off your chair and make a big scene about it.

37. If you’re playing a really boring game, make a big deal if you win.

38. Glue all their scissors together.

39. Make paperclip jewellery. E.g. necklaces, earrings etc…

40. Pull out one strand of someone’s hair and yell “DNA!”

41. Wear a sticker or a badge that says ‘I am retarded’

42. Talk to a pen.

43. Put your hand up in a test and wait for your teacher to come over. When they whisper what’s wrong, yell “NO I WON’T SNOG YOU!”

44. Yell “LIAR!” to everything they say.

45. Smile. All the time.

46. Draw a tiny black spot on your arm. Make it bigger everyday. Look at it and say, “It’s spreading, IT’S SPREADING!”

47. When a supply teacher is taking the register, say everyone is missing. Then, if they ask who you are, say ‘Your worst Nightmare’

48. When you know the answer, bounce up and down a go " OOOHH I KNOW THIS"

49. When a teacher calls on you say, " I forgot"

50. If you have to blow your nose in class, blow your nose to the tune of your favourite song.

Some labels on consumer goods:

On Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
Serving suggestions: Defrost.

Printed on the bottom of Tesco Tiramisu dessert:
Do not turn upside down.

On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.

On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

On a knife sharpener:
Caution: knives are sharp.

On shin pads for cyclists:
Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.

On a take away coffee cup:
Caution: Hot beverages are hot.

Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp:
In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill quickly.

In a microwave oven manual:
Do not use for drying pets.

On the bottom of a cola bottle:
Do not open here.

On a box of aspirin:
Do not take if allergic to aspirin.

On a bottle of laundry detergent:
Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.

On a muffin packet:
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.

On a ketchup bottle:
Instructions: Put on food.

On a bottle of rum:
Open bottle before drinking.

A car park sign:
Entrance only. Do not enter.

A sign in a street in Hong Kong:
Beware of people.

Rules on a tram in Prague:
Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be persecuted.

Sign on newly-renovated ramp entrance, USA:
Take care: new non-slip surface.

On a bottle of baby lotion:
Keep away from children.

In a car handbook:
In order to get out of car, open door, get out lock doors, and then close doors.

Directions for mosquito repellant:
Replacing battery: replace old battery with a new one.

On a birthday card for a one year old:
Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less.

In a hotel bedroom:
Please do not turn on TV except when in use.

In a lift in a Japanese hotel:
Push this button in case anything happens.

On a can of Spray paint:
Do not spray in your face.

On a TV remote:
Not Dishwasher safe.

On a washing machine in a launderette:
No small children.

On a bottle of hair dye:
Do not use as Ice Cream topping.

On a box of fireworks:
Do not put in mouth.

On the packaging for a wrist watch:
Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.

In a dishwasher manual:
Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.

On a toaster:
Do not use underwater.

On a mattress:
Do not attempt to swallow.


Read this. I almost didn't and I'm so glad I did.

Most people don't act stupid -- it's the real thing.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, and then used against you.
A consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing
You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?
A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
If you can’t live without me, Why aren’t you dead yet?
Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy.
Silence is golden but duck tape is silver.
If aliens are looking for intelligent life WHY ARE YOU SCARED?!
Practice makes perfect...but some say nobody is perfect so why practice
I am a bomb technician... if you see me running try to keep up
When life give you lemons, keep them, because hey, free lemons.
Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you
Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others.
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems
Few girls admit their age. Few guys act theirs.
Never take life to seriously... you’re not getting out of it alive.


THE BLOND TEST

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out

2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails

3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it

4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking

5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking

6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you blonde highlights are going to your head

7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself

8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand

9. Tried to push open a door that said pull

10. Tried to pull open a door that said push

11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion

12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else

13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs

14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave

15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair

16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble

17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it

18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard

19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name

20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot

21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on

22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.

23. Have run into a closed door

24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else

25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it

26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke

27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer

28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan

29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk

30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock

31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it

32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside

33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else

34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property

35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot

36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on

37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in

38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard

39. Walked into a pole

40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident

41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house

42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on

43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small

44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it

45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.

46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it

47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up

48. Have poked yourself in the eye

49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on.

50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair

51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test

52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil

53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it.

54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.

55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were

56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on

57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.

58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it

60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny

61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa

62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it

63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence

64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person

65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one or because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side

66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions

67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong

68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it

69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out.

70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught

71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face

72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb

73. Ran into a door jam

74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid

75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it

76. Have purposely licked playground sand

77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band

78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't

79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people

80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out

81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off

82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again

83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back.

84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about.

85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair.

86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone.

87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird.

88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people.

89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria.

90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.

91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil.

92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers/toes then named them.

93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper.

94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours

95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story.

96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs

97. You have spelled your own name wrong before

98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.

99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class.

100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth.

72/100, and rising!!!!!! :O


Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree


Harry Potter Survey

Which is your favorite Harry Potter book?

Harry Potter and the prisoner of azkban

Which is your favorite Harry Potter movie?

Harry Potter and the deathly hallows part 1

Who is your favorite HP character?

Ginny Wesley

Which position in Quidditch do you think fits you the most?

beater

Who do you want to make friends with?

Fred and George

If you were in Hogwarts, who would be your best buddy?

Ginny Weasley

Why would he/she be your best buddy?

We would make a good evil team:)

Which character in the book can you relate to?

Hermione

What pet would you get?

A fluffy cat like crookshanks

If's (if questions):

If you happened to discover the Mirror of Erised, what would you see in it?

a land of ice cream:)

If your friend was pulled into the Whomping Willow by a black dog, would you jump in and rescue him/her?

yup, and i'd probably bring a dog lead ;)

If you found out you could speak Parseltongue, who would you tell (characters in the HP book)?

Remus, he would know what it's like to be different.

If you landed yourself in the same situation as Harry was in with Umbridge's detention, would you tell anyone about the marks on your hand?

Yes. that bitch is going to azkaban. first class.

More questions:

Who do you want to go to the Yule Ball with?

Draco Malfoy, hello there sexy!

Post a character that has the same hair color as you do.

bill weasley is closest...

Post a character that has the same eyes color as you.

james potter

What color comes into your mind when Sirius Black is mentioned?

grey

What color comes into your mind when Tonks is mentioned

bubblegum Pink

What color comes into your mind when Ron is mentioned?

Orange

What color comes into your mind when Draco is mentioned?

white

Is this quiz getting boring and too long?

a tad...

If you got hold of a bottle of Felix Felicis, what would you drink it for? (Note: it makes you lucky in everything and everything you do won't go wrong.)

Asking someone out / taking an exam :)

Do you like the books more or the movies?

Books

This or that:

Sirius Black or Remus Lupin?

Sirius

Severus Snape or Sirius Black?

Sirius

Hermione or Cho?

Hermione

James Potter or Snape?

Snape because he's sexy ;)

Would you rather go through the first task or the third task in the Triwizard Tournament?

Third

Is this survey fun or boring?

errmm...


Bite me and I'll bite back.

Me, sarcastic? Never.

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care

The only reason I'm here is because heaven wouldn't have me and hell was afraid I'd take over.

A good girl is just a bad girl who's never gotten caught. (Alas, my cover's been blown. I hate getting caught.)

Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid?

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Very few personal problems can't be solved through suitable application of high explosives.

History lesson: the dinosaurs didn't go extinct, Barney came and they all committed suicide.

You say physco like it's a bad thing...

I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.

If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em.

What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding.

If you're color blind, eating sweets must be a completely different experience. "Come on starbursts, give me red!... LEMON, CRAP!"

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

The voices in my head may not be real but they still have pretty good ideas...

Oops! Did my sarcasm hurt your feelings?

I intend to live forever...so far so good

Old enough to know better, young enough not to care

Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried

I'm not afraid of death. What's it gonna do? Kill me?

When life gives you lemons, make grapejuice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

Cross over to the dark side... WE HAVE COOKIES!!!!!!!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it

They say 'Guns don't kill people, people kill people.' Well, I think the guns help. If you just stood there and yelled BANG I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Never knock on Death's door, ring the bell and run away, he hates that

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

I'm not random, I just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most

An apple keeps the doctor away, if well aimed

Taste the rainbow: EAT CRAYONS!

Last night I lay in bed looking at the stars and thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?!

When there's a will, I want to be in it

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much

We're best friends. You hurt, I hurt. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a bridge, I laugh harder.


10 Commandments of a Teenager
Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.

(why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave'm in the middle)


"Cinderella Walked On Broken Glass,

Sleeping Beauty Let A Whole Lifetime Pass,

Belle Fell In Love With A Hideous Beast,

Jasmine Married A Common Thief,

Ariel Walked On Land For Love and Life,

Snow White Barely Escaped A Knife,

It Was All About Blood, Sweat And Tears,

Because Love Means Facing Your Biggest Fears."


If you have actually read this far PM me the word 'elephant'.

How much am I worth?

Hair Color
() Brown £100
() Blonde £50
(x) Dyed £25
() Black £15
() Bald £5
() Other £75
Total so far- £25

Eye Color
(x) Brown £50
() Green £75
() Blue £150
() Hazel £100
() Other £15
Total so far- £75

Height
() Over 7'- £200
() 6'8"- 7' £175
() 6'- 6'7" £150
() 5'5''- 5'11" £75
(x) 5'4"- 5'10" £85
() Under 5'4" £0
Total so far- £160

Age
() 50-56 £175
() 46-49 £150
() 41-45 £125
() 31-40 £100
() 26-30 £75
() 21-25 £5o
() 19-20 £25
(x) 0-18 £100
Total so far- £260

Birth order
() Twins or more than twins £750
() First born £320
() Second born £150
(x) Only child £250
() Middle £100
() Last born £100
() Third born £550
() Fourth born £300
() Fifth born £400
() Sixth born £215
Total so far- £410

Drink?
(x) I did like once £400
() On Holidays £250
() Sometimes £215
() YES £200
() Only weekends £300
() Every other day £50
() Once a day £15
() I live from the bottle £Bankrupt
() No £600
Total so far- £810

Vision?
(x) Perfect £400
() need or have glasses/contacts, but don't wear them £200
() glasses £50
() contacts £25
() surgical correction £100
Total so far- £1210

Shoe size
() 13£300
() 12 and a half-13 £250
() 11-12 £400
() 7-10 £50
(x) 7 or less £450
Total so far-£1660

Favorite colors (multiple)
() Green £750
(x) Red £600
(x) Black £100
() Yellow £475
() Brown £300
() Purple £225
() White £400
() Aqua £350
() Orange £300
() Blue £300
() Pink £100
(x) Other £
500
Total so far- £2860

Did you use a calculator to add this?
(x) No £1000
() Some £750
() yes £0

and the Grand Total is... 3860 :) ( great, my schooling is more expensive than me!

Copy and paste this quiz to your profile. I dare you.


- Me and my girls, we don't just turn heads, we break necks.

- I'm not random you just can't think as fast as me

- What do i do when i see someone extremely gorgeous? I stare, I smile, and when i get tired i put down the mirrior

- I'm busy, you're ugly, have a nice day!

- WARNING: Children left unattended will be sold to the circus.

- Me and my girls are so cool, we get hit by park cars.

- When you are in love and you get hurt, it's like a cut...it will heal, but there will always be a scar.

- Beginnings are scary. Endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most.

- However long the night, the dawn will break.

- Live for today cause you never know what tomorrow can bring, or take.

- At some point I'll finally tell you that i miss you.

- When worse comes to worse, my girls come first!

- I roll with the best and nothing less

- A friend is one who knows you but loves us anyways.

- Without my besties I'd be lost...no seriously I would be.

- I may look safe, but once i get you alone i WILL eat you.

- Don't knock on deaths door...ring the door bell and run, he hates you!

- I'm smiling cause they havn't found the bodies yet.

- They laugh at me because I'm diffrent, i laugh at them because they're all the same.

- Cheers...to another awkward moment

- I run with scissors it makes me feel dangerous..


23 Ways To Annoy People In An Elevator

1)CRACK open your bag, peer Inside and ask “Got enough air
in there?”

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting
off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open,
then act as if you’re embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you
Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: “You’re
one of THEM” – and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY “I wonder what all these do?” And push all the buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when someone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: “I have
new socks on.”

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: “Is that your beeper?”

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: “This is my personal space.”

14) WHEN there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn’t you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back
for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a
while, let the doors close and say “Hi Greg, How’s your day been?”

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then
scream: “That’s mine!”

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don’t exist.

22) CALL out “Group hug” then enforce it.

23) When the lift is going down scream “we’re gonna die"


List twelve of your favorite characters in no particular order.

1) Sirius Black
2) Remus Lupin
3) Ginny Weasley
4) Rose Weasley
5) Scorpius Malfoy
6) Luna Lovegood
7) Severus Snape
8) Fred Weasley
9) George Weasley
10) Draco Malfoy
11) Dominique Weasley
12) Albus Potter

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?

I haven't but it could be like a teenage runaway fic?

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

umm... rose...well I'n my opinion she should be played by either karen gilligan or anna lutoskin, and their both pretty..

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

Wrong beyond belief, and harry would kill him, both of them actually.

4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?

Well I'm writting one, and I read a good one with weapons and stuff, began with a 'w'...

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Despite the age gap Iwould say yeah, cos Remus is really serious, and Luna is chillaxed ;)

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

five/ten, cos that is less mentally scarring, scorpius and draco... bleugh!

7. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

not really sure there...

16. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

the other day I re-read one, does that count? and if anyone cares, it was Her eyes by WrittenAnonymous.

17. (1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (7). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (6), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (12).

Sirius and Severus are in a happy relationship until George runs off with Severus. Sirius, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Dominique and a brief unhappy affair with Luna, then follows the wise advice of Scorpius and finds true love with Albus Potter.

First of all, WTF? george and snape? sirius and dominique, she's like his grandchild in age difference! and he is in love with Albus Potter, who is like 40 years his jnior!

18. How would you feel if Seven/Eight were in a fight?

Fred would own Snape but would get points taken and detention :(

19. What would you think if you found (5) was a really good friend of a sibling or relative of yours?

It would be good, but that means i can't think he, or Draco, are sexy anymore :(

20. How would you react if you saw (8) and (11) in a closet together with a rubber ducky?

sit back and watch, If she is part veela, and he is a prankster, it's gonna be good!

21. How would you feel if (2) dissed you in the worst possible way ever?

sad, but it would probably be his time of the month, y'know?!

22. If you saw (9) and (3) in bed together, what would you do?back up and out, screaming 'INSEST EW EW EW!!'

23. What would you say if you found out that (12) was a rapist?

you've got the boy-who-lived-twice, the-girl-that-shagged-him, and the-boy-who-has-sex-in-the-street. what a disgrace!

24. You just came home from school and all of your friends hate you, your teacher just gave you an F on the most important project of the year (just imagine it happened for the smart alecks out there), and your parents have grounded you as your teacher had already called and told them of your grade. You open the door to your bedroom and you find (10) rummaging through your stuff. What do you do?

well... lets just say we might need some silencing charms whilst he shows me his wand ;)i'll ask questions later! :)

25. What would you think if (1) was emo and had tried to slit his/her wrists? If (1) is already emo/slit his/her wrists already, what would you think if (1) became the most optimistic person in the world?

aww, poor padfoot! and maybe if he was all happy once he's out of azkaban then he should be all bouncy really..

26. What would you feel this second if (4) gave you a daisy right now?

thanks! have a rose, no pun intended,siriusly :)

27. (6) has just stolen your hairbrush. What is the first thing you would say?

dude, you got blonde hairs in it!


YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (Alot meaning all the time...)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (well no, but I've gone though ALOT of pencils)

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny when you laugh for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)

1) Are you in a relationship with somebody? Not currently...

2) Do you hate more than 3 people? Yup

3) How many houses have you lived in? 4.

4) Favorite chocolate? Crunch

5) Favorite shoes? black converse :)

6) Have you ever tripped someone? Yes

9) Do you own a Britney Spears CD? no, thank god!

10) Have you ever thrown up in public? Yup, in a shopping centre...

11) Name one thing that is always on your mind. School

12) Favorite genre of music? rock, loud :)

13) What is your zodiac sign? Libra

14) What time were you born? 11:29am

15) Do you like beer? totally! I drink it like everyday, y'known while I am sleeping with anyone I see, get real and check 18!

16) Ever made a prank phone call? Yes ;) But it epically failed...

17) What is the most embarrassing CD you own? Hannah Montana

18) Are you sarcastic? Yes, I speak fluent sarcasm.

19) What are your favorite colors? black, crimson, silver

20) How many watches do you own? none, I live life on the edge..

21) Summer or winter? Autum ftw!!!

23) Favorite color to wear? grey with green, cos it looks sexy on me :)

24) Pepsi or Sprite? sprite

25) What color is your cell phone? Black

26) Where is your second home? the library...

27) Have you ever slapped someone? Of course!

28) Have you ever had a cavity? yeah, it sucks!

29) How many lamps are in your bedroom? 1

30) How many video games do you own? 0

31) What was your first pet? my fish, popeye and goldie, i was 4 okay?

32) Ever had braces? nope

33) Do looks matter? Depends

34) Do you use chapstick? Yup!

35) Name 3 teachers from your High School. bills,adkins and witherspoon

36) American Eagle or Abercrombie? Abercrombie

37) Are you too forgiving? nope, in actual fact I'm a heartless bitch.

38) How many children do you want? 2, preferably a boy then a girl...

39) Do you own something from Hot Topic? not yet..

40) Favorite breakfast meal? Cereal

41) Do you own a gun? No

42) Ever thought you were in love? nope ;( Draco Malfoy doesn't count does he?

43) When was the last time you cried? dunna really

44) What did you do 3 nights ago? I went visiting for christmas, yay...

45) Olive Garden? Panera Bread? Panera Bread

46) Have you ever called your teacher mommy? yes.. HE was angry...

47) Have you ever been in a castle? Yes

48) Nicknames? loz, lol's

49) Do you know anyone named Bertha? no, sorta want to now..

50) Ever been to Kentucky? no, but I've had the chicken!

51) Do you own something from Banana Republic? nuhn

52) Are you thinking about somebody right now? noo..

53) Have you ever called someone Boo? noo, i have much better things to say...

55) Do you own a diamond ring? not anymore..

56) Are you happy with your life right now? Nope, but it's not gonna change..

57) Do you dye your hair? Yes because I enjoy being ginger

58) Does anyone like you? Like as a friend or more? I don't know...

59) What year were you born? what year were you born???

60) What were you doing in May of 1994? apart from not existing?

61) Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD? Nope

62) McDonalds or Wendys? McDonalds

63) Do you like yourself? Yesh, but not in a concieted way...

64) Are you closer to your mother or father? I was a daddy's girl...

65) Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex? Eyes

66) Are you afraid of the dark? Nope

67) Have you ever eaten paste? NEVER...

68) Do you own a webcam? Yeshh

69) Have you ever stripped? Um... well...

70) Ever broke a bone? just my arm :)

72) Do you chat on AIM often? No

73) Pringles or Lays? Pringles take that Lays!

74) Have you ever broken someone's heart? nope..

75) Rugrats or Doug? Rugrats!!! :D

76) Full House or The Brady Bunch? Both!!!!

77) Did you like your high school guidance counselor? didn't realise we had one!

78) Has anyone ever called you fat? My very sarcastic friend when I took her cookie... but it was chocolate soo..

80) Do you own a car? Nope, I have chauffeur called mum..

81) Can you cook? if it goes in a microwave then yes!

82) 3 things that annoy you:

1. the word 'Panties'

2. family

3. Michael

83) Do you text message often? Yes

84) Money or love? Love

85) Do you have any scars? One on my knee because it went through the plaster board, and one from chickenpox...

86) What do you want more than anything right now? A boyfriend...

87) Do you enjoy scary movies? yup, but I always end up crying...with laughter.

88) Relationships or one night stands? Relationship

89) Big Red or Juicy Fruit? juicy fruit, big red's gross!

90) Do you enjoy greasy food? No, It makes me feel sick.

91) Have you seen all the Rocky movies? No

92) Do you own a box of crayons? Yes like a million...

94) Who was the last person that said they loved you? Charlie

95) Who was the last person that made you mad? mommy ..

96) Who was the last person that made you cry? dunna..

97) Who was the last person that made you laugh? vicky;)

98) Who was the last person that you fell for? Robbie

99) Who was the last person that instant messaged you? Charlie

100) Who was the last person that called you? Chloe


Loser
[ ] You don't have very many friends.
[ ] Often times, teachers forget your name.
] You were always picked last for kickball.
[ ] You don't like to talk a lot.
[ ] You tend to avoid mass social activities
[ ] You don't participate in any extracurricular activities.
[ ] All you wish for is to move away or get a fresh start.
[x] Your friends have blown you off before.
[ ] You sit alone in most of your classes.
[ ] You have a feeling that once you leave high school or college, nobody is going to remember you.
[x ] You hold interest in activities that other people find strange.
[ ] People don't find you friendly.
[ ] You hold extreme hate towards another high school stereotype.
[ ] You eat alone at lunch.

Total= 2

Prep

[ ] You pop the collar
] You won't go near the Goths
[x ] You own at least one thing from a designer store.
[x ] You are very clean cut.
] You are squeamish.
[ ] People have called you preppy before.
] You never leave the house without putting on cologne/perfume
[x ] You have a lot of money.
[ ] You know who LC is.
[ ] You watch shows like The OC, The Real World, The Hills, and Laguna Beach.
[ ] One favorite store is either Abercrombie & Fitch or American Eagle Outfitters.
[ ] You're afraid to set foot into Hot Topic.
[ ] You carry a purse wherever you go.
] You need to wake up at least an hour before school so you can get ready.
[x] You do not leave the house without make up.
] You feel really girly when you gush over male actors.

Total = 4

Band Geek
[ X] You have played an instrument before.
[ ] You still play an instrument.
[ ] You are/were in regular Band.
[ ] You are/were in Jazz Band.
[ ] You are/were in Marching Band.
[ ] Most of your friends are in band.
[ ] The band room/band hall is your second home.
[ ] You enjoy listening to classical music on occasion.
[ ] You aspire to be a Drum Major.
[ ] You've made out with somebody on a band bus or at a band competition.
[ ] You have trouble getting your non-band friends to go near the band room.
[ ] Band is your favorite class.
[ ] You have been to band camp.
[ ] You walk in step with all your friends.
[ ] You talk about band constantly.
[ ] You know that American Pie has got it all wrong.
[ ] You hate rap music.
[ ] Marching Season is your favorite time of year.
[ ] When you go to football games, you don't really pay attention to the game itself.
[ ] Your favorite jokes are band jokes.
[ ] You know it's not about the bloods and the crips: it's the brass and the woodwinds.

Total = 1

Thespian
[X] You have seen a school play.
[ ] You have seen a Broadway musical.
[ ] You like to act.
[x ] You have participated in a school play.
[ ] You have participated in a play outside of school.
[ ] You have gone to the Thespian Conference
[ ] You get pissed off when people make that thespian, did you say lesbian joke?
[ ] You have done tech.
[ ] You know that you cannot touch anybody else's props.
[ ] You have played in the pit orchestra for a musical.
[ ] You have been to a cast party.
[ ] You are in a thespian troupe.
[ ] You often sing show tunes at the top of your lungs.
[ ] You know who Idina Menzel and Johnathan Larson are.
] At one point in your life, you were obsessed
[ ] You do not have a personal bubble.
[ X] You actually understand Shakespeare.
[ ] You know how to put on stage make up.
[ ] You have been a lead.
[ ] You met a lot of your better friends through theatre.

Total = 3

Overachiever

[ You participate in a lot of extracurricular activities.
[ ] You have a part-time job.
[x ] You have straight A's.
[ ]You are in mostly honors/IB/AP classes.(IB)
[ ] You do not procrastinate.
[ ] You have scored a 5 on an AP test.
[ ] You do not have very much down time.
[ ] You are very organized.
[ ] You always have a thousand things going on at once.
[ ] You are in a relationship. (what does that have to do with anything?)
[ ] You aspire to get into an Ivy League School.
[ ] In your extracurriculars, you hold leadership positions.
[ ] You are/were on Student Council. )
[ ] You are/were the class president.
[ ] You are/were a class officer. ()
[ ] You are/were the Salutatorian for your class.
[ ] You are/were the Valedictorian for your class.
[ ] People have told you that you didn't have a life.
[ ] You are getting/have already received the IB Diploma.
[ ] You cry hysterically when you get anything lower than an A on anything. (lol)

Total = 1

Goth
[x] Your wardrobe consists of mostly black things.
[ ] When you have the money, you shop at Hot Topic.
[ ] You think tattoos are hot. (it depends on the tat)
[ ] You think odd piercings are hot.
[ ] You don't get along with your parents.
[X ] You have/want to dyed/dye your hair an exotic color(
[ ] You've styled your hair in liberty spikes.
[x ] Sometimes you ponder the meaning of life and death.
[ You like to write dark poetry.
[ ] You are into/interested in S&M. (...? Isn't that a song by Rihanna? ...OHHHHH NO.)
[ ]You have a pair of oversized black pants.
[ ] At one point in your life, you liked Foamy, Happy Bunny, Emily the Strange, and the Happy Tree Friends. ()
[ ] You listen to grunge.
[x]ou have a messenger bag with buttons up and down the straps.
[ ] You smoke cigarettes.
[ ] You will only date other Goths.
[X] You don't really care what people think about you.
[ ] Overly happy people scare you.
[X ] You like black makeup & nail polish best. (nail polish)

Total = 6

Nerd
[X] You actually study for tests and quizzes.
[x ] You have straight A's.
[ ] You haven't had any luck with the opposite sex. (Dang my age)
[ ] You are into WoW, Magic Cards, and Halo. (...? WoW?...oh wait nvm...)
[ ] You over-analyze jokes to the point where they aren't funny anymore.
[ ] Your mom buys your clothes for you.
[x ] You actually answer the questions in class.
] You sit front row center in all of your classes to get the best learning experience. (Well..not the learing expierience...and not center... mostly to the side...)
[ ] You miss school during the summer.
[ ]you wear your pants at your waist.
] You prefer sweatpants to jeans.
[ ] You have a pocket protector in your shirt with pens and a calculator in it.
[ ] You let cute boys/girls take advantage of you & copy your homework in hopes of getting noticed.
[X ] You've noticed some of the spelling and grammar mistakes in this survey.
[ X] People always cheat off you during tests.
[ ] Your parents pack your lunch for you every day.
[ ] You wear/should be wearing glasses.(

Total = 5

Garage Band Junkie
[ ] You play the guitar. (want to..)
[ ] You have been in a garage band before.
[ ] You're still in a garage band.
[ ] You think your band is going to make it big someday.
[ ] You play shows almost weekly.
[ ] You play the drum set.
[ ] You sing vocals for a band. (I just sing...)
[ ] You write your own lyrics. (if you include really lame songs that came to me at the moment?)
[ ] You spend hundreds on amps and microphones.
[ ] Your band has a myspace page.
[ ] You have been in multiple garage bands.
[ ] You have changed the name of your band at least twice.
[ ] You have participated in a battle of the bands
[ ] Your band has been signed.
[ ] You have taken guitar classes at school.
[ ] You have played at the same venue multiple times.
[ ] You would rather make it big than have to go to college.
[ ] You have musical talent.()
[ ] You have groupies.
[ ] You've made t-shirts and other apparel for your band.

Total = 0

Emo
[ ] You often have trouble convincing people that you aren't emo.
[ ] You comb your hair over one of your eyes.
[ ]You flip your hair often.
[ ] You have dark-rimmed glasses.
[ ] You have hurt your self on purpose.
[ ] If you're a boy, people often complain about your pants being too tight.
] You don't really smile too often.
[ ] You blog often.
[ ] You never smile in pictures.
[ ] You listen to Thursday and/or Sunny Day Real Estate.
[ ] You're too much of a * to be a goth.
[ ] You own a lot of band t-shirts.
[ ] You go to a lot of shows.
[ ] You only go for emo/scene boys and girls.
[ ] It doesn't take very much to make you cry.
[ ] You have played all the Emo Games (...????)
[x] You have worn black eyeliner before.
[ ] You own a bandana in which you wear in your hair.
[x ] You have dark hair.
[ ] You love the emo song.
[ ] You say stuff like "I feel like my hearts being ripped out" and all that.

Total = 2

Skatepunk
[ ] You own a skateboard.
[ ] You have been skateboarding since you were in grade school.
[ ] You have gotten many injuries from skateboarding.
[ ] You know that World Industries and Element aren't just clothing lines.
[ ] You have vandalized public property.
[ ] You have TPed/egged somebody's house before.
[ ] You have been yelled at for littering.
[ ] You have gotten in trouble with the cops.
[ ] You listen to punk rock.
[ ] Chicks on skateboards are hot.
[ ] You stick it to the man
[ ] You own skater shoes.
[ ] You watch MTV2, not MTV.(Meh both)
] You enjoy crude humor. (Don't judge me)
[ ] Screw school, lets do crazy stuff.
] You know that there are other pro skaters out there besides Tony Hawk.
[ ] You pretty much live at the skate park.
[ ] Hygene does not concern you.
[x] Skater boys are attractive.

Total = 1

Metalhead
[ ] Most people are scared of your music
[x] A lot of the bands you like have violent names/titles/lyrics
[ ] You hate emo kids
[ ] You have gotten kicked out of a public place multiple times before
[ ] Slipknot isn't really metal
[x ] You appreciate really good guitarists of any genre
[x] You hate pop and rap.
[ ] You spend all your money on music-related stuff
[ ] Scene kids are fun to laugh at.
[ x You will become friends with anyone if they like the same bands
[ X] You curse a lot.
[ ] You can name at least five sub genres of metal
[X ] You wore black converses before they became emo
[ ] At least one of your favorite bands thinks they're vikings
[x] You also like classic rock, such as led zeppelin and pink floyd.
[x ] You have yelled at someone for their taste in music. (lol sorry!)

Total: 8


boo.


Things I am not to do at Hogwarts
1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"
8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"
10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand
11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon or Yu-Gi-Oh cards and convince him they're real animals
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"
14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it
16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive
17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast
18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day"
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways
20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor
21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling
26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate
27) I will not steal Gryffindor sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways
28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"
29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge
32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm
33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers
34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion
35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"
36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"
37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak
45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween
46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously
47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions
48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet
49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice
50) I will not attack my fellow classmates
51) I will not make an impossible riddle for people to give an answer to enter the Ravenclaw area


"let's eat grandpa!"
"let's eat, grandpa!"
Punctuation saves lives :D


Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."


Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.

Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch?

air...

Before you started this survey, what were you doing?

facebook :)

What is the last thing you watched on TV?

doctor who

Without looking, guess what time it is

6:44pm

Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

6:51pm

With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

t.v

When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

lke two hours ago, looking for my earphones.

Did you dream last night?

cant remember...

Do you remember your dreams?

see previous...

When did you last laugh?

today

Do you remember why / at what?

my teacher, in dumbledore glasses.

What is on the walls of the room you are in?

red:)

Seen anything weird lately?

my friends...

What do you think of this quiz?

strange...

What is the last film you saw?

Big momma.

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

malfoy manor/ grimmauld place/hogwarts

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

Tom felton.

Tell me something about you that most people don't know.

I write fanfiction.

If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

HARRY POTTER WOULD BE REAL!!!!! (and percy jackson :))

Do you like to dance?

yes, its a shame I cant...

Would you ever consider living abroad?

Hell yeah!!

Does your name make any interesting anagrams?

umm... renual?

Who made the last incoming call on your phone?

my mammmy...

What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?

Cursor mainia :)

Last time you swam in a pool?

Like when i was seven..

Type of music you like most?

Hard Rock!! ( and Nickelback, and most of the wwe themes...)

Type of music you dislike most?

Justine beiber.

Are you listening to music right now?

Yeah, Nickelback - Burn it to the ground.

What colour is your bedroom carpet?

cream

If you could change something about your home, without worry about expense or mess, what would you do?

Employ Draco Malfoy as my personal slave ;)

What was the last thing you bought?

my sexy navy striped toms

Have you ever ridden on a motorbike?

not yet :P

Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?

Bungee jumping!

Do you have a garden?

yeah. ( are you stalking me?)

Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?

um bla bla bla bla god save the queen bla bla...

What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?

' oh shit I'm awake'

If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be?

JOHNNY DEPP!

Who sent the last text message you received?

my friend sarah.

Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?

I suppose getting a credit card might help...

What time is bed time?

when I sleep.

Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?

No, thank god.

How many tattoos do you have?

none.

If you don't have any, have you ever thought of getting one?

yeah, i wanted one on my wrist but that would hurt.

What did you do for your last birthday?

Went to alton towers.

Do you carry a donor card?

no.

Who was the last person you ate dinner with?

my mammmmy!

Is the glass half empty or half full?

at the moment, entirely empty.

What's the farthest-away place you've been?

the dominican republic.

When's the last time you ate a homegrown tomato?

the summer before last, we go tesco now.

Have you ever won a trophy?

yeah :)

Are you a good cook?

Hell no.

Do you know how to pump your own gas?

definately not.

If you could meet any one person (from history or currently alive), who would it be?

JESUS! (nahh, probably einstein.)

Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school?

yes, most weekdays, like all the time..

Do you touch-type?

nope.

What's under your bed?

a carpet. and a shoe.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

no way.

Think fast, what do you like right now?

cheesy chips with gravy. (thats what I yell when we go to the chippy.)

Where were you on Valentine's day?

school.

What time do you get up?

like half seven.

What was the name of your first pet?

Popeye. (my goldfish R.I.P dude.)

Who is the second to last person to call you?

dunna.

Is there anything going on this weekend?

not really, revising, but not much.

How are you feeling right now?

goood.

What do you think about the most?

music.

What time do you get up in the morning?

see previous.

If you had A Big Win in the Lottery, how long would you wait to tell people?

I'd wait until after I buy the expencive car.

Who would you tell first?

..My family..

What is the last movie that you saw at the cinema?

Woman in black

Do you sing in the shower?

...Sometimes. If nobody's in.

What do you do most when you are bored?

Listen to Nickelback.

What do you do for a living?

I don't do anything for a living.

What did you want to be when you grew up?

Lawyer.

If you could have any job, what would you want to do/be?

well payed detective :)

Where would you retire to?

Honeydukes.

If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go?

Las Vegas, Michigan, Minnesota, Australia, Russia...

What kind of books do you like to read?

The Harry Potter Series, Percy jackson, Vampire academy...

What is your favorite time of the day?

The middle of the night.

What are you reading now?

This question!

The Stupid Test!

Directions: Put an x next to the one that is you, than in the end, add up all of the x's. If you have 18 or less, than you are not stupid.

(x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.

(x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking.

(x) You have run into a glass/screen door.

( ) You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.

(x) You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.

(x) You have run into a tree.

() It IS possible to lick your elbow.

() You just tried to lick your elbow.

(x) You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star have the same rhythm.

(x) You just tried to sing them.

(x) You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.

(x) You have choked on your own spit.

( ) You have seen the the Matrix and still don’t get it.

(x) You didn’t notice that in the last question “the” was spelled twice

(x) You just looked at it.

() Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde/has blonde in it.

( ) People have called you slow.

( ) You have accidentally caught something on fire.

() You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes/cheek.

( ) You have caught yourself drooling.

(x) You’ve fallen asleep in class.

( ) If someone says “fart” you laugh.

( ) You just laughed.

( ) Sometimes you just stop thinking.

(x) You tell a story and forget what you were talking about.

( ) People are often shaking their heads and walking away from you.

(x) You are often told to use your “inside voice”.

(x) You use your fingers to do simple math.

( ) You have eaten a bug.

(x) You are taking this test when you should be doing something important.

(x) You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it.

(x) You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand, pocket, head, etc.

( ) You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t even when you know it won’t happen to you.

(x) You break a lot of things.

( ) Your friends know not to use big words around you.

(x) You sometimes tilt your head when you’re confused.

(X) You have fallen out of your chair before.

(x) When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling.

22 sooo why do i get straight A's?


1. Hold your breath 2. Go to your profile and add this 3. Still holding your breath 4. If you made it, you're a good kisser.

REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):

1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)

2. Meet the recruitment bunny!

3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!

4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!

5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!

6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!

7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?

8. WORLD DOMINATION! BEST reason


Gerard Way puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Mikey Way can slam revolving doors.
The chief export of The Frank Iero is pain.
Mikey Way counted to infinity...twice.
Frank Iero can divide by Zero.
The grass is always greener on the other side. Unless Gerard Way has been there, then it’s soaked with tears and blood.
The Frank Iero once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Gerard Way sleeps with a night light. Not because Gerard Way is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Gerard Way.
Mikey Way is the reason Waldo is hiding.
A Tsunami is water running away from Bob Bryar.
Bob Bryar doesn't get brain freeze. Slurpees know when to back the fuck off.
Bob Bryar does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Mikey Way can speak Braille.
Frank Iero jacks off to Monster Trucks.
Jeeves asks Ray Toro.
If The Bob Bryar is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Geico saved 15% a year by switching to Gerard Way.
Ray Toro went back in time and stopped the JFK assassination by catching the bullet in mid air. JFK's head just exploded in sheer amazement.
Gerard Way has to sort his laundry into three loads: darks, whites, and bloodstains.
The most effective form of suicide known to man is to type "Frank Iero" into Google and hit "I'm Feeling Lucky!"
Jesus walked on water. Gerard Way walked on Jesus.
When Frank Iero gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Gerard Way doesn't use pick-up lines, he simply says, "Now."
Mikey Way is like a Tsunami, if you can see him coming it's already too late.
Bob Bryar ate the Stay Puff Marshmellow man.
Ray Toro didn't vote for Pedro. He deported him.
When God said, "Let there be light", Gerard Way said, "say please."

Here's to the kids who were never okay,
who brought their bullets in return for your love.
To the kids who live life on the murder scene, seeking revenge on those who wronged them.
To the kids who lost their fear of falling,
Here's to the kids who sign their name xoxo, fuck sincerely.
The kids who love demolition style, who would end their days in a hail of bullets for thy lover.
Here's to the kids who will spend their nights dreaming of what life would be like if they were G. F. R. B. or M. instead of partying with others.
Here's to the kids who play with action figures instead of doing homework.
Here's to the kids who mourned over the loss of Mikey's glasses,
here's to the kids who put bars and X's over their eyes to be just like their heroes.
Here's to the kids who scream fuck you to anyone who starts shit with them.
Here's to the kids who believe they're vampires, just like the MCR boys.
Here's to the kids who were welcomed to the black parade.
Here's to the kids who are not afraid to keep on living or walk this world alone.
To the kids who could've been a better son.
Here's to the kids who raise their glasses high for tomorrow we die, and we all go to hell.
Here's to the kids who put sister to sleep, who set ferris wheels ablaze.
To the kids who take pills that counteract the booze they drink.
Here's to the kids with poison and pills.
To the kids who Fire At Will.
Here's to the kids who loved pansy, and all its glory.
To the kids who cried at the sight of Robert Bryar burning on the set of FLW.
Here's to every soldier, vampire, and parader, to every Fan.
Here's to each and every one of you My Chemical Romance fans.
Your dedication is what makes the world go round.

This is for all the kids who doodle MCR lyrics instead of paying attention in class.
This is for all the kids who listened to 'I'm Not Okay' on repeat because it made them feel like they weren't alone.
This is for all the kids who have seen 'Life On The Murder Scene' twenty bajillion times.
This is for all the kids who bought 'The Black Parade' the second it came out and clung to it like a security blanket for a month.
This is for all the kids who love Gerard, no matter what colour his hair is.
This is for all the kids think Mikey is awesome, with or without glasses.
This is for all the kids who wish they could play guitar like Frank.
This is for all the kids were worried about Bob when he burnt his leg.
This is for all the kids who secretly fantasize about playing with Ray's hair.
This is for all the kids who know that as long as there is a My Chemical Romance, they will never be alone.
This is for all the kids who love My Chemical Romance with all their hearts.
This is for all the kids who wear their t-shirts not just to look cool, but to promote them too.
This is for all the kids who saved up their allowance for months, babysat, and mowed lawns to go to their concert and sing every word.
This is for all the kids who were never okay.
This is for the MCRmy.

The Ten Commandments of Gerard Way

1.Thou shall never let them take you alive.
2. Thou shall drink Starbucks coffee
3.Thou shall play World of Warcraft as an Undead Warrior
4.Thou shall admit that they are not okay freely
5.Thou shall unleash the fucking bats
6.Thou shall strike violent poses
7.Thou shall stay out of the light
8.Thou shall suck thy enemies blood
9.Thou shall overcome thy weaknesses
10.Thou shall not be afraid to keep on living


The Ten Commandments of Frank Iero

1. Thou shall run around until thou can no longer breathe
2. Thou shall eat skittles
3. Thou shall let the singer feel thou up
4. Thou shall wear a badge on thy shirt collar or hood
5. Thou shall get tattoos
6. Thou shall kick random objects if they are in thy way (yes that means if they are in Gerard/Mikey too)
7. Thou shall grin with all teeth
8. Thou shall change hair style every year
9. Thou shall wear sunglasses in situations of conflict
10. Thou shall burn everything and call it Cajun

The Ten Commandments of Mikey Way

1. Thou shall move as little as possible on stage
2. Thou shall choose coffee as thy poison
3. Thou shall straighten hair with dignity
4. Thou shall love sushi as much as thineself
5. Thou shall be the spiritual advisor to thy peers
6. Thou shall wear glasses as close to falling off as possible
7. Thou shall have epic battles with brick walls
8. Thou shall hate small spaces, large spaces and grocery shopping
9. Thou shall love unicorns with all thy heart
10. Thou shall be dangerous around toasters/heaters

The Ten Commandments of Bob Bryar

1. Thou shall never get mad at those more annoying than thou
2. Thou shall look cool with sunglasses
3. Thou shall declare that Gerard makes thou heart burn openly
4. Thou shall love cats
5. Thou shall walk in the other direction/lash out if a camera is shown
6. Thou shall T.P New York
7. Thou shall drum until thou can drum no more
8. Thou shall give out Mikey Way's phone number
9. Thou shall be the hardest working drummer ever
10. Thou shall love Mr. Bean as thou equal


The Ten Commandments of Ray Toro

1. Thou shall head bang till thou can head bang no more
2. Thou shall stick thou hands in cupcakes
3. Thou shall hide thy contacts well
4. Thou shall not like to read
5. Thou shall not bother to cook
6. Thou shall play until thou gets 'Guitar Burn'
7. Thou shall hate thou hair when straightened
8. Thou shall sing back up as if it were the most important part
9. Thou shall ask Gerard to not do 'that' in thy direction
10. Thou shall be proud of thou afro

Ways to Tell If You're a Real My Chemical Romance Fan
--

1. Real MCR fans know more songs than "Welcome to the Black Parade."
2. Real MCR fans shout 'YES!' when one of their songs comes on.
3. Real MCR fans know the names of everyone in the band and what they do.
4. Real MCR fans go in a rendition of Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge when they hear a guy in a restaurant say "So Long"
5. Real MCR fans giggle every time Gerard Way says the word 'way' in the songs
6. Real MCR fans will scream "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, *insert band member name here*!!" on his birthday, regardless of how quiet the room is.
7. Real MCR fans watch "Life On the Murder Scene" twice a day then apologize to plants.
8. Real MCR fans often zone out, listening to MCR in their heads, and when someone asks them a question they scream the lyrics they were just thinking of.
9. Real MCR fans write 'my' and 'romance' around the word 'chemical' when in science class.
10. Real MCR fans when hearing any word even slightly associated with MCR on the television instantly freak out and turn up the volume.
11. Real MCR fans eat skittles and drink coke zero three times daily.
12. Real MCR fans can listen to a MCR song repeatedly and not get tired of said song. (No matter how many times you listen!)
13 .Real MCR fans hear New Jersey and instantly think MCR MCR MCR MCR MCR!!!!!!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Set in Stone by cuddlebear992 reviews
"I-I can't do it! I just can't…" She froze when she recognized the voice inside the bathroom. She had heard it many times before mocking her. But it had never sounded as vulnerable as it did now, never as troubled. She had never heard Draco Malfoy cry.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 62 - Words: 175,303 - Reviews: 1011 - Favs: 392 - Follows: 247 - Updated: 11/11/2013 - Published: 6/25/2009 - Draco M., Ginny W. - Complete
My Devotion by WrittenAnonymous reviews
"Marry me!" I shouted, my voice piercing the silence of the night. "Marry me and I'll prove to you that I love you!" *HER EYES SEQUEL*
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 37 - Words: 122,849 - Reviews: 1836 - Favs: 642 - Follows: 448 - Updated: 12/17/2011 - Published: 1/23/2011 - Rose W., Scorpius M. - Complete
Detention Lines by Andy'sGirl4485 reviews
Funny little one shot. Harry and Ron find a record of detention lines in Filch's office and Hermione really wishes they hadn't.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,551 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 1/31/2011 - Published: 1/6/2011 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Tik Tok by Voldemort by RodentFace reviews
So, what would happen if Voldemort wrote Tik Tok? Read and find out.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 549 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/8/2010 - Voldemort - Complete
Grains of Gold Sand by hermoine snape reviews
Hermione and Ginny use a time turner to travel to Lily and marauders last year at Hogwarts. The girls only went back to have fun. The one thing that they didn't expect was to fall in love. Pairings: RL/HG SB/GW JP/LE Hermione will be OOC with BETA
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 37,007 - Reviews: 231 - Favs: 411 - Follows: 130 - Updated: 6/8/2009 - Published: 1/21/2009 - Remus L., Hermione G. - Complete
Seven Years Later by DeepShadows2 reviews
This is the sequel to 'Misfit Adventures'. This is when Severus joins the Misfits at thier home and help to the eventual destruction of Lord Voldemort. R&R
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 41 - Words: 218,921 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/10/2006 - Published: 7/14/2004 - Complete
Protecting the Past by crookshanksroxmysox reviews
Harry and Ginny travel back to the Marauder Era to protect and teach those that create the future. Cliched, but fun.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,203 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 135 - Updated: 8/3/2005 - Published: 7/27/2005 - Harry P., Ginny W.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Gryffindors Gone Mad (ON HITAUS) reviews
Sequel to Detention Lines Exactly how do you manage to slip Snape a love potion? Or feel up Professor Lupin in class? Or perhaps send suggestive pictures to a certain professor?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 17,338 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 11/2/2013 - Published: 8/17/2011 - George W., Fred W.
Detention Lines reviews
After one game on the hogwarts express some of the seventh years are acting a bit strange, but what did they do? bend's a few rules, but you'll still love it! maybe a litle OOC-ness.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,508 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 17 - Published: 8/9/2011 - Fred W., George W. - Complete
A not so normal potions class reviews
When Sirius black looses a bet the consequences are huge, even huger when the one who made the rules for the bet was james potter.. fifth year.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 393 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/1/2011 - Sirius B. - Complete
James' Suprise reviews
James' birthday is never normal what with Sirius black as his friend. but this year Sirius gives him an extra special present... seventh year.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 515 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/15/2011 - Marauders, Lily Evans P. - Complete