BigBlackEyes
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Joined 08-07-10, id: 2485244, Profile Updated: 04-25-11
Author has written 4 stories for Twilight, and Harry Potter.

Hi! Well umm I dont have much to say about myself other than I love books, clothes and fashion. I love swimming too. This probably a bit boring so here our some random and funny things to keep you authors amused:

My friends think blonde jokes are bad but here are some: (Srry Blondes!)

A blonde walks into a shop and says " Can I buy that T.v?" The shop assisant said "no dont sell to blondes. The blonde dyed her hair brunette and went back but the said he didn't sell to brunettes. She died her hair pink and went back and he said " Dont sell to blondes" "How do you know I'm a blonde?" she asked "Cause thats a microwave"

A blonde and 2 brunettes were going up the stairway to heaven. Each stair had a joke and there were 100 hundred stairs. If you laughed at a joke you sent back to the real world if you didn't you got to go to heaven. The first brunette lughed at the joke on the 57th stair and the second on th 95th stair. The blonde was on the 99th stair when she laughed. "Why did you laugh you were so close?" "Because" she answered "I just got the first joke!"

Enough of that...

Here are some funny quotes:

When life hads you a lemon squirt life in the eye and run like hell

Don't knock on Deaths door ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Commiting suicide is a way of telling god "You cant fire me I quit!"

I'm not afraid of death. Whats he gonna do? kill me?

Time is a good teacher. It's just bad he kills all his pupils.

Your mum looks like Voldermort.(Please dont hurt me)

You cry I cry You laugh I laugh You go jump off a cliff I laugh even harder.

The worst time to die is playing charades. Everyone will think your acting until they prode you and shout "S*t she's/he's dead.

This ones a joke...

Lily's teacher was telling the class that a whale could not swallow a human whole but Lily thought otherwise. "Yes they can" she said "Jonah got eaten whole, I'll ask him when I go to heaven."

"What if he goes to hell?" asked the teacher. "Then you ask him" replied Lily

oooooooh burn.

Here are some authors on fanfic that have written postivley GREAT stories!

Cullenclnluvr-1

balckandivorykeys

Grace Cullen

Oxygen.and.Cucumber

Heartlandlover95

Silver Tidal Wave (My sis check out her stories Forbidden Love and 150 ways to annoy Harry Potter. They are SO good.)

There will be more but so far these are the first. =)

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!! 7/10/10

On Friday J.K Rowling announced on Opera that the 8th Harry Potter book is yet to be told and that she could easily write more books for him. YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

I AM SO GONNA WEAR A HARRY POTTER TSHIRT TO THE NEXT TWILIGHT MOVIE! (SRRY TWILIGHT FANS I DO LIKE TWILIGHT BUT I THINK IF I DID THAT IT WOULD BE QUITE FUNNY!)

WHO LIKES YOUTUBE????????

WHO LIKES TO SEE PEOPLE DO STUPID THINGS LIKE PAINT THEMSELVES PURPLE?????????

THEN CHECK OUT CHARLIEISSOCOOLLIKE'S CHANNEL ON YOUTUBE AND BE READY FOR A BUNDLE OF LAUGHS!

HI GUYS THIS IS ANOTHER JOKE!

Four guys went in for a job interview. The boss of the firm wanted to know how quick witted they were so he asked them "What is the fastest thing you know of?"

The first guys said thinking "Because you do it all the time!"

The second guy said blinking "Because you do it without thinking!"

The third guy said light "Because it can travel around the world like 27 times in a second!"

The fourth guy said diarrohea

The boss was baffled "Why?" He asked

"Because" he started "If I eat something bad before I can think before I can blink before I can turn on the bathroom light I've pooped my pants!

That one REALLY got me laughing!

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Will share their umbrella with you
BEST FRIENDS: Will take yours and scream "RUN, BITCH RUN!"

Friends: Ask why you're cryin
Best Friends: has a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

Friends: say you can do better
Best friends: Will call him up and say "You have seven day to live"

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "LETS DO THAT AGAIN!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

Friend: Asks me for my number
Best friend: Asks me for her number

Friend: Hides me from the cops
Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place

Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public
Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

Friend: Will help me learn to drive
Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away
Best Friend: Won't let me go away

Friend: Will go to a concert with me
Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me

Friends: Help you get over a boy
Best Friends: will go up to the boy punch him then say "It's because you're gay isn't it?"

Friends: know only a few things about you
Best Friends: could write a very embarssing biography about you

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Get angry at you for calling them late in the night
BEST FRIENDS: Ask why it took so long for you to call

FRIENDS: Wonder about your love life
BEST FRINDS: Could blackmail you with it

Friends: Will help you find prince charming
Best Friends: Would kidnap him and bring him to you

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool withyou at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

Friends: fade
Best Friends: Are forever

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap!!

But I love them to death anyway!

Hey guys! I would just like to say that I hope you like my stories. Cause I am trying so hard to make them good and I would like to try writing books when I am older and I need to know how my writing is. THANKS!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Ghosts by Sofia Lawrence reviews
Bella and Edward are best friends as children, but his death destroys her. However, a familiar stranger shocks her on her nineteenth birthday.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 16 - Words: 24,623 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 1/5/2012 - Published: 5/11/2010 - Bella, Edward
Jackson's Chase by Agent Astro Zombie reviews
It all started with a bet. Percy Jackson a junior in high school, and the school's number 1 hottest playboy always gets the girl he wants. However when a new girl moves into town he was determine to get her despise how much she hates him
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 51 - Words: 133,109 - Reviews: 1974 - Favs: 1,110 - Follows: 593 - Updated: 12/26/2011 - Published: 7/9/2011 - Percy J., Annabeth C. - Complete
Young Heart by cullenclanluvr-1 reviews
This is my first fan fiction, so please no bad reviews. if you wanna give me a few pointers thats cool! this is what happens after breaking dawn in Bella's POV hope you enjoy it! thanks! P.S. i own nothing! this is all stephenie meyer's characters!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 27 - Words: 23,603 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/21/2011 - Published: 8/1/2010
The Bet by XintoxicatedxbyxTwilightX reviews
Edward is a "Player" at Bella's school. They get thrown together for a project, and Edward has a bet that he cant get Bella to do "IT" with him before the project is over. Bella wants nothing to do with him. But what happens when feelings begin to form?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 43,884 - Reviews: 1085 - Favs: 595 - Follows: 240 - Updated: 8/31/2010 - Published: 4/12/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
My Best Friend's Brother by WeLoveEdwardCullen reviews
Bella Swan is sick of being alone on Saturday nights, when her roomies, Alice and Rosalie, are out on dates; so what happens when Alice's green eyed, bronze haired brother comes to town? All Human. Please leave a review, thanks. B/E A/J R/Em.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 36,563 - Reviews: 151 - Favs: 179 - Follows: 82 - Updated: 8/23/2010 - Published: 6/5/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Look Past the Veil of Hate by MyLifeIsEdwardCullen reviews
All Human. Edward and Bella used to be best friends. Now they hate each other or so the other thinks . Will they realize what they’re missing out on and finally get together? Better than it sounds, give it a try!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 20 - Words: 78,729 - Reviews: 2806 - Favs: 769 - Follows: 725 - Updated: 8/17/2010 - Published: 10/18/2009 - Bella, Edward
Teacher Dearest by Grace Cullen reviews
Bella Swan is a kindergarten teacher who everyone adores. But after getting horrible news she moves to Florida and starts to teach there. In Florida she meets two small emerald-eyed children, Emma and Nick, who belong to no other than Edward Cullen. AH.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 42,159 - Reviews: 1021 - Favs: 757 - Follows: 449 - Updated: 8/8/2010 - Published: 5/6/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
I Lost Everything by luvnovels123 reviews
Bella found every wife's worst nightmare when she caught Edward cheating on her.She was horrified,helpless,and she was carrying his child.Can Bella forgive Edward or would she run away from him?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,131 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 12 - Published: 8/8/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
You Belong with me by CRAZii-TWiiLiiGHT-FAN reviews
What if you've fallen irrevocably in love with your BFF? Do you tell him? can Bella confess her true feelings to Edward before it's too late? or is it already too late to do anything? All human! XD!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 79,596 - Reviews: 283 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 7/1/2010 - Published: 3/19/2009 - Edward, Bella
Across the Ocean by Annilaia reviews
In one quick and thoughtless act, Bella Swan sends a letter in a bottle across the ocean. It reaches England, where Edward Cullen finds it, and begins their correspondance, one that leads to more than either of them could expect. AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 54,489 - Reviews: 3652 - Favs: 5,472 - Follows: 1,325 - Updated: 10/6/2009 - Published: 12/31/2007 - Complete
Blackout by MandyLeigh87 reviews
All human, Edward and Bella POV. Edward and Bella live in two different worlds, even though they live next to each other. Things get complicated when Edward, the leather jacket wearing cigarette smoking rebel falls for the girl next door.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 36 - Words: 99,410 - Reviews: 1451 - Favs: 1,972 - Follows: 702 - Updated: 7/26/2009 - Published: 2/19/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Wrapped Around Her Little Finger by Grace Cullen reviews
Edward finds 4 year old Bella lost in the forest, and he becomes her best friend but when she moves and comes back 13 years later she meets Tanya who has set her eye on Edward and will eliminate anyone who ruins her chances with him, which means Bella.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 34,485 - Reviews: 927 - Favs: 587 - Follows: 307 - Updated: 5/9/2009 - Published: 10/10/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Maria by ahemyywe150 reviews
All human! Bella is aspiring towards her dream job but when a family crisis hits her, she has to adapt. This means getting a job as a babysitter for a cute little kid. Except there's one little snag: the kid's brother, Edward Cullen. BxE R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 100,004 - Reviews: 3018 - Favs: 2,615 - Follows: 1,369 - Updated: 5/2/2009 - Published: 6/22/2008 - Complete
In Six Months I Lost My Mind But Found My Heart by An End Has A Start reviews
They’re from two different worlds but are brought together by a school exchange program. Three months at his school, three months at hers. They’re fighting each other and temptation. All Human. ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 92,136 - Reviews: 2078 - Favs: 1,772 - Follows: 754 - Updated: 7/5/2008 - Published: 2/18/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

150 ways to annoy Lucuis Malfoy reviews
If you want to annoy Lucius Malfoy read this. If you want to start now here are some possible suggestions: Call him Lucy... Put itching powder in his underwear
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 34 - Words: 21,603 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 5/15/2011 - Published: 8/18/2010 - Lucius M., OC
Losing you, losing you again reviews
Edward and Bella were always happily in love. When fatal events take place can they get back to together?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 14,251 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 4/27/2011 - Published: 3/10/2011 - Bella, Edward
101 Ways to annoy Hermione Granger reviews
Suggetions: Tell her Ron has propsed to 'Lav-Lav' in Madam Puddifoot's. These are sure to sent a flock of birds pecking your eyes out your way.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 3,427 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 10/10/2010 - Published: 8/26/2010 - Hermione G., OC
Living reviews
Edwards POV from when he becomes a vampire till when he saves Bella in Port Angeles. Hope you enjoy! Please reveiw but be nice this is my first fanfic.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,711 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/13/2010 - Published: 8/9/2010 - Bella, Edward