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Joined 08-12-10, id: 2492296, Profile Updated: 03-05-15
Author has written 3 stories for Twilight.

I'm a poet who found employment as an English teacher, in both high schools and universities, and I've gotten a little rusty at writing. Just for kicks, I decided to try fiction writing. Wow, it's so different from poetry. I have always admired writers who could keep track of a multi-chapter work in their heads, who could manage a plot arc over hundreds of pages, and now I am excited to give it a try.

Twilight's Jake and Bella characters are very appealing to me. Well, mostly Jake is appealing. Bella is kind of a ding-bat. However, in my first story (I do have some other wolf-pack story ideas!), I hope to give Bella a nudge that will allow the character to grow a little more. Grow up, that is. Good lord, who would cast aside JAKE? I must stop now, or I shall malign Edward for pages and pages.

I'm also an amateur musician. I've written a few songs, but I mostly enjoy playing various woodwind instruments in various ensembles. My favorite instrument is the bassoon, but the one I play best is the clarinet. In Bella's Guitar, I plan to use a lot of musical references and details to make the story realistic, from a musician's perspective.

I also find that my English teacher background has inspired me to throw some literary references into my story. All you book worms out there should get a kick from the esoteric lit jokes I have planned.

I have a husband and two kids. My little boy is 3 and my girl is 1. I like to work on my story at night after the kids are sleeping, and my patient husband proofreads for me. He would like me to turn my energies toward original works of fiction so I can make a million dollars. (No pressure or anything!) For now, I am content with my "practice novel," Bella's Guitar.

Two summers ago, I visited Forks and La Push while on a hiking trip in the Olympic National Park. That park is beautiful, and I highly recommend it to nature lovers. The Twilight sites were an impulsive side trip. I had recently read the novels and was curious about the whole teen sensation thing. We stopped in Forks, and holy crow, as Bella would say, it was a madhouse.

Every hotel had a Twi-themed room people could stay in, and every restaurant had a Twi-themed food item, or four. I saw an outfitter's store that I imagined as Newton's, and I saw the high school that looked nothing like the one in the films. Silly movies. I went to an ice cream shop and had to choose between "Edward's Hugs and Kisses" flavor and "Jacob's Beachcomber" flavor. I loathe Edward, but I ate his flavor because the Jacob flavor was blue, and I haven't had a stomach for blue ice cream since I was five and loved the Superman flavor. Seriously, it took me a really long time to decide. I was like, I gotta have some ice cream, but that one is blue, ick, and that other one is Edward-flavor. Oh, man. (Also, who names an ice cream flavor after crap that washes up on a beach? Jellyfish? Flip flops? Yeah, I want to eat that.)

I asked the locals what they thought about the Twilight phenomenon that had hit their little town, previously noted for its proximity to the Olympic park and the timber industry. There's a great big cross-section of a tree stump downtown, at least six feet in diameter, and obviously put there before these novels were published, that displays Forks's greatness as a logging town. From the ice cream parlor, to the pizza joint, to the hotel, everyone I spoke with said that Twilight had been good for the town. They never bemoaned the hoards of visitors, or gave their personal opinions on the novels, even though I actually tried to goad the teenager working at the scoop shop to concede that the novels might be juuuust a tad bit silly. "Good the for town!" she said again. Bless her. All the Forksians I met were uniformly gracious and welcoming to Twilighters. Planning a trip there? Forks loves you!

There is a Twi-store where you can buy pale, glittery skin lotion to make yourself look like a vampire. You can also buy life-sized cardboard cutouts of the characters, T-shirts, postcards, keychains, a replica of Bella's engagement ring, Cullen family crest bracelets, and assorted bumper stickers that say things like, "Stupid Shiny Volvo Owner," "Jacob Will F*ck You Like an Animal," and "Jasper Hale Yes." A little donation box says, "Forks blood bank. Help Edward Feed! Please donate to stop the needless slaughter of deer and elk in the Forks area." In the store's guest book, visitors from all over the country, and beyond, had signed their names alongside notes of "Team Edward" and "Team Jacob." One smart-ass wrote, "Team The Guy That Almost Hit Bella." I think he meant Tyler Crowley.

This store is called Dazzled by Twilight. You can shop there online, too. The sidewalk outside the store was crowded with teenaged boys who refused to enter while their sisters (and probably their moms) shopped inside. My husband commiserated with them while I was within, dazzled. By product merchandizing. I mean, by Twilight. Dazzled by that.

Across the street is a store called Native to Twilight. It had far fewer customers, which I thought was a shame, despite the racks of wolf T-shirts blowing in the breeze just outside its door and the genuine vintage Harley in the window. I wanted to get closer to see if it was a Sprint, but there was a life-sized Jacob cardboard cutout next to it, and i didn't want to seem like I was ogling the character (in front of my husband. After all, I had assured him we were going to Forks purely for anthropological purposes.) Also, there was a big sign next to the Harley that said, "Please don't climb on, stand on, lean on, or kiss the bike." I imagined some unfortunate scenarios which might have prompted the creation of that sign. Anyway, this shop carried books about the region and artwork by members of several Pacific Northwest tribes. Very cool.

So Forks is a great place to visit and there are many neat things for Twilighters to see. However, one hotel worker told me that her hotel, and another hotel in town, would probably cease offering the Twilight-related suites. Apparently, too many times, some overly zealous fans had, um, accidentally stuffed their suitcases with the room decor when they went home. Seriously. People were taking the Twi-towlels, Twi-lampshades, Twi-bedsheets, Twi-posters, and Twi-pillows with them. Also the Twi-blankets and the Twi-shower curtains. I was surprised. That's not being a fan; that's called stealing. Sheesh!

Because I am a big fan of the Jacob character, I am disappointed with the way the Twilight novels turned out. I really, really thought that Breaking Dawn would be all about Bella coming to her senses and choosing a loving, respectful, funny, sweet guy who did not try to control her and who actually had a personality--and a pulse. Gotta give Jake points for having a pulse. Needless to say, I was appalled with how the series ended. WTF was that? I don't plan to harsh on Edward too much in my story/stories, because that would be tiresome, but I will indulge myself here by freely acknowledging to potential readers that he'll never be the hero in my writing. Wanker.

I would enjoy hearing from readers in reviews or PMs. I really value all feedback, especially constructive criticism. After all, how else can one become a better writer? This fan fiction site is pretty awesome, I think, and I am happy to become a little part of this community by posting my story.

I'll conclude my profile by listing some books, subjects, and writers that I like to read, and if you share these interests, drop me a line!

Louise Erdrich--almost anything she's written

Toni Morrison--Song of Solomon

African American Women's fiction from the 19th century (Check out the Schomburg Library's collection)

Gone With The Wind (must have read it a hundred times as a teenager)

Jane Austen novels

The works of the Bronte sisters, especially Agnes Gray and Villette

Harry Potter

American Indian sociological texts

GLBTQ sociological texts (Have you seen the photo essay Love Makes a Family? It's beautiful.)

George Elliot's Adam Bede

David Copperfield by Charles Dickens (yes, I really like it!)

Moby Dick (let's be mature, students)

A great many plays by Shakespeare, but especially Hamlet and A Midsummer Night's Dream (can we say, five-paragraph essay?)

Robert Louis Stevenson's Treasure Island

The Witch of Blackbird Pond (So romantic. Will there ever be a film? And if so, will it ruin the images in my imagination?)

The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings

David Sedaris's essays

The poetry of James Merrill, Elizabeth Bishop, Anne Sexton, Mark Strand, Charles Simic, Naomi Shihab Nye, Ellen Bryant Voigt, John Keats, Percy Bysshe Shelley, and James Wright.

Eighteenth century British women's novels (the stuff that Jane Austen and the Brontes mention their stupider characters reading, like The Romance of the Forest.)

St. Lucy's Home for Girls Raised by Wolves by Karen Russell (I don't normally go for modern fiction, because I feel I must catch up on centuries of other stuff, but this is wonderful. Magical realism.) Her debut novel Swamplandia! is phenomenal. She also just published a second story collection, Vampires in the Lemon Grove. Nothing to do with traditional or Twilight-type vampires, though. Quite original.

Ivanhoe (not a Russian male hooker, it turns out)

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers

Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard

Nick Adams stories by E. Hemingway

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

Little Women and sequels by Louisa May Alcott (Oh, how I cried when I read them as a girl. But now they read like a horrifying study in Victorian morality.)

"The Yellow Wallpaper" by Charlotte Perkins Gillman

"Greasy Lake" by T. C. Boyle

All kinds of stuff by Raymond Carver

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

Dude, I must stop. I think you get the idea that I like to read... :-)

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Sublimation by sfiddy reviews
Jacob and Bella fall in love, delaying the phase, but the pack has to fight the danger lurking in shadow. Bella finds the strength to grow, and mends the damage done to her relationship with Charlie. Wolf-centric, Cullen friendly. Rated for a reason.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 28 - Words: 211,660 - Reviews: 1162 - Favs: 956 - Follows: 629 - Updated: 2/8/2013 - Published: 4/16/2010 - Bella, Jacob - Complete
Playing With Fire by Dance Elle Dance reviews
Just as Jacob is starting to become Bella's "personal sun," he imprints on Leah. Heartbroken, Bella finds solace with another werewolf - a more volatile, hot-tempered werewolf who doesn't put up with her pity party. PaulBella, JacobLeah, New Moon AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 24 - Words: 78,365 - Reviews: 1578 - Favs: 1,729 - Follows: 2,129 - Updated: 12/21/2012 - Published: 3/3/2010 - [Bella, Paul] [Leah, Jacob]
Boys with Girlfriends by audreyii-fic reviews
A boy gets dumped by a vampire and a wolfgirl tries to cheer him up. A genderswap rewrite of New Moon and Eclipse.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 11 - Words: 35,174 - Reviews: 400 - Favs: 363 - Follows: 145 - Updated: 2/22/2012 - Published: 1/15/2012 - Jacob, Bella - Complete
The Fire of the Sun by audreyii-fic reviews
Sequel to The Movement of the Earth. Bella finds the cost of joining the supernatural world may be higher than she can pay. Jacob/Bella, Sam/Emily.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 112,635 - Reviews: 1464 - Favs: 1,120 - Follows: 668 - Updated: 1/1/2012 - Published: 2/2/2011 - Bella, Jacob - Complete
The Movement of the Earth by audreyii-fic reviews
Jacob imprints on Bella. It changes things. A re-write of New Moon, beginning on page 242 in Chapter 10: "The Meadow."
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 21 - Words: 95,238 - Reviews: 1264 - Favs: 1,971 - Follows: 654 - Updated: 1/1/2012 - Published: 9/4/2010 - Bella, Jacob - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Bella's Boyfriend reviews
The sequel to Bella's Guitar
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 186,195 - Reviews: 461 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 240 - Updated: 11/20/2017 - Published: 11/23/2015 - Bella, Jacob
Bella's Guitar reviews
Nominee "BEST HUMOR" & "BEST ROMANCE" 2013 Non-Canon Awards. With tough love from Billy and better parenting by Charlie, Bella recovers from E.'s loss and falls for sweetheart Jacob. But first she gets road rash, awkward sex ed lectures, bad advice from Quil, & a crash course in violence from Leah. And she writes comically angsty songs. So flippin' funny & tenderly sweet. A novel.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 35 - Words: 217,959 - Reviews: 1347 - Favs: 394 - Follows: 372 - Updated: 11/23/2015 - Published: 1/23/2012 - Bella, Jacob - Complete
Bella's Guitar Extras reviews
Here is a collection of companion pieces for my novel, Bella's Guitar.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,886 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 5/13/2015 - Published: 12/21/2012 - Bella, Jacob