Dracula's sidekick
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Joined 08-15-10, id: 2496375, Profile Updated: 12-08-11
Author has written 6 stories for Dracula, Twilight, and Harry Potter.

Well Hello there!

Welcome, come in come in! Don't lurk in doorways! It is quite rude! Oh, come now! I don't bite... often. MWAHAHA.

clears throat* Sorry, got a bit out of control there.

My name Is ...well, my name is not important. You can call me by my pen name, Dracula's sidekick.

I currently have a few stories on this site; The Vampire's Assassin, The Order of the Sphinx and Numerous One Shots. Please sneak by and have a sneak peak when you get the chance.

Name... Dracula's sidekick
Age... Wouldn't you like to know!
Star Sign... Pisces
Worst Habit... Biting fingernails
Most Embarrassing Moment... My dress blowing up revealing my undies, right in front of the guy I used to like
Stupidest Thought... 'I wonder if Moses liked fish? wait... that was one of the main diet supplements back then! oops"
Biggest Regret... Not taking the chance say what I really felt that day...
My Mother Always Says... I am a strange child and she has no Idea where inherited my craziness from
I'm Most Like... myself? Is this a trick question?
Favourite Word?... Vexes. So expressive! love it
Favourite Put Down?... Well, we know idiots still roam the earth, this is one of them.
Weirdest Habit?... Pulling apart a hamburger and eating it layer by layer
Best Quality?... I am a good listener and I have a kind heart
Secret Skill?... Finding a random movie quote which fits to every situation and conversation
Biggest Fear?... Being alone in the dark.
Favourite Animal?... tie between Zebras and Dolphins
Pet Peeve?... People who have annoying voices, who are always wrong, yet insist they are right and don't listen to reason.

1. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): ashizzle

2. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): red zebra

3. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): Lousie Daintree

4. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): warasson

5. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): blue shake

6. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maidenname, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Sroayen

7. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): Black Sandy

8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name): Marie

9. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (fruit, and something that can go wrong): Cherry Bomb (lol)

10. YOUR PIRATE NAME: (color, pirate accessory): Sky Gold

Okay, so I know this is kind of old, but I think it's damn Hilarious and I had to post it. I didn't write these and I don't claim to own them. I am not sure who the genius was whom did, but if you are reading this, I take my hat off to you, you're my hero.

If Hogwarts was real and I got a letter? I would sure as hell do every single thing on this list.

150 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

1. I will not poke Hufflepuff’s with spoons, nor will I insist that their house colors indicate that they are “covered in bees”.
2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class
3. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not “an extra credit project for Herbology”.
4. “I’ve heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood’s name” is not a challenge.
5. Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch’s office is not appropriote.
6. I will not go to class skyclad.
7. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
8. I will not use Umbridge’s quill to write “I told you I was hardcore”.
9. I will stop referring to showering as “giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful”.
10. Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. “Polishing my wand” in the common room is not.
11. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw the Dark Mark on their arm.
12. House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
13. Staring a betting pool on the fate of this years DADA teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.
14. I will not start every potions class by asking Professor Snape if today’s project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant.
15. “Liften Separatis Crotchum” is not a real spell.
16. I will not claim Chick Tracts are an accurate presentation of Muggle life.
17. Seamus Finnegan is not “after me Lucky Charms”.
18. I will not refer to the Weasley twins as”bookends”.
19. I will not refer to the Patil twins as “bookends”.
20. I will not call the DADA teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.
21. There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.
22. I will not provide Luna Lovegood with Coast-to-Coast AM transcripts.
23. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.
24. I will not place anything by Silver Ravenwolf on the library shelves.
25. Tricking the school house elf into stripping does not mean they are now mine even if I yell “Pwned!”
26. I am not a sloth Animagus.
27. I am not a tribble Aimagus.
28. I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or a piranha.
29. I do not weigh the same as a duck.
30. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.
31. I do not have a Dalek Patronus.
32. I will not lick Trevor.
33. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
34. The Ravenclaws are not “Mentals in training”.
35. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazghul is coincidental.
36. I will not change the password to the prefect’s bath to “Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty”.
37. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.
38. Professor Flitwick does not wish to be adressed as “Admiral Naismith”.
39. Asking “How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?” is only funny the first time.
40. I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.
41. I will not offer to pose nude for Dean Thomas.
42. “42″ is not the answer to every question to the O.W.L.’s.
43. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.
44. I am not to Owl copies of the Evil Overlord List to suspected Death Eaters.
45. I will not offer to prepare tandori owl.
46. I will stop asking when we will learn to make “Love Potion Number Nine”.
47. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.
48. I will not teach the first-years to sing “A Wizard’s Staff Has A Knob On The End”.
49. If Ginny Weasley wanted to borrow my Darkover books, she would have said so already.
50. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
51. I will not go to meals dressed as Choda Boy.
52. Sirius Black did not found the Sirius Cybernetics Corp.
53. I will not draw an “H” on Percy Weasley’s forehead.
54. My name is not Captain Subtext.
55. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab does not sell potions ingredients and I will not resell their products as “Veela Pheremones”.
56. I will not refer to Kingsley Shacklebolt as a “Big Black Sex Auror”.
57. I cannot Hadoken anything into oblivion.
58. Professor Flitwick’s first name is not Yoda.
59. I am not the Defense Against the Boring Classes Professor.
60. I am no longer allowed to use the words “pimp cane” in front of Draco Malfoy.
61. It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the result would be.
62. Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled “Firewhiskey”.
63. Using the Engorgio charm on certain parts of the human anatomy is not permitted on school grounds, not even for entertainment purposes.
64. First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.
65. A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or drumming on desks, no matter how bored I become.
66. It is inappropriate to slip sample bottles of Selsun Blue into Professor Snape’s personal postbox.
67. I will stop referring to Hufflepuff’s as “cannon fodder”.
68. I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.
69. First-years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.
70. Novelty or holiday themed ties are not to be worn with my school uniform.
71. I will not use my socks to make hand puppets of the Slytherin house mascot.
72. When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of Good v. Evil, I will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can be only ONE!”.
73. I should not refer to DADA professors as “canaries in the coal mine”.
74. I will not say the phrase “Dude, get a life.” to Lord Voldemort.
75. I will not put books of muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.
76. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth house at Hogwarts. And I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.
77. I will not refer to the Accio charm as “The Force”.
78. Albus Dumbledore’s proper title is “Headmaster”, not “My Liege”.
79. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I foresaw her death.
80. I will not use Slytherin and Gryffindor first years as Christmas decorations.
81. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
82. If asked in class what the Avada Kedavra curse does, yelling “It Does DEATH!!!” may be correct but it is not the manner in which one should answer.
83. I am not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here.
84. I am not allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur.
85. Ravenclaw’s do not find a sign saying “The library is closed for and indefinite time period” amusing in any sense.
86. I will not attempt to recreate the Key to Time in Transfiguration class.
87. A time turner is not a flux capacitator, and I should therefore not install one in any Muggle cars.
88. I am not allowed to use silencing charms on my Professors.
89. I will not charm Hermione’s time turner to rotate every half-hour.
90. If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
91. I will not claim my X-Files tapes are “Auror Training Videos”.
92. When being interrogated by a member of the staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce “These are not the droids you are looking for”.
93. I am not a member of the Spanish Inquisition.
94. Albus Dumbledore is not my personal Jesus.
95. I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.
96. I will not follow potions instructions in reverse order just to see what happens.
97. I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts: A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.
98. “OMGWTF” is not a spell.
99. I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.
100. I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.
101. I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbott and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles.
102. I will not cast the occasional Oblivate spell on Dumbledore, even if it would be amusing.
103. I am not allowed to give the Gryffindors Pixie Stix.
104. I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and take bets on who will come out alive.
105. I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they are real animals.
106. I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.
107. I will not sing The Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches.
108. I will not tell first years that they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.
109. I will not douse Harry Potter’s Invisibility Cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible wearing it and standing near the fire in the common room.
110. I will not tell first years that Moon Prism Power is a basic Transfiguration spell.
111. I will not yell “Believe it… or not!” after any of Dumbledore’s speeches.
112. Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for extra credit.
113. My name is not “The Dark Lord Happy-Pants” and I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.
114. There is no such thing as the Chamber of Double Secret Probation.
115. I will not attempt to magically animate my marshmallow Peeps.
116. I will never ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling.
117. Voldemort is not Ganandorf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts.
118. I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rock series during Arithmancy exams.
119. I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of “Knights of the Round Table” for the Christmas feast.
120. I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles”.
121. I am not allowed to make lightsaber sound with my wand.
122. “Draco Malfoy Takes it Up The Arse” is not an acceptable Quidditch chant.
123. I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.
124. I will not wear my DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT! shirt to school.
125. I am not allowed to reenact famous battles of the Revolutionary War in the charms corridor.
126. I am not allowed to declare an official Hug A Slytherin Day.
127. I am not allowed to introduce myself to the first years as Tim the Enchanter.
128. I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance into any classroom.
129. I will not try and start Naked Thursdays in the Common Room.
130. It is not necessary for me to yell “BAMF!” every time I Apparate.
131. I will not steal Gryffindor’s sword from Dumbledore’s office and use it to patrol the hallways.
132. I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.
133. I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes”.
134. I will not teach the first years to play “The Penis Game” in the Great Hall during dinner.
135. I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue.
136. I will not organize a Hogwarts Fight Club.
137. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.
138. I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.
139. I will not dress up in a Dementor suit and use a Dustbuster on Harry’s lips to get him to do what I want.
140. I will not start food fights in the Great Hall.
141. I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
142. “To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys” is not an appropriote career choice.
143. I will not sing “We’re off to see the wizard” when sent to the Headmaster’s office.
144. The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife.
145. It is not necessary to yell “Burn!” everytime Snape takes points from Gryffindor.
146. “Y’all check this-here shit out!” is not an appropriate way to announce that you are about to perform an experimental spell.
147. I will not hold my wand in the air before casting spells and shout “I have the power!”
148. I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.
149. I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell “Ni” from various directions.
150. Getting everyone in the Great Hall to do the Time Warp will not earn me any house points .


So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool...

Opening Credits: Like Wow! By Leslie Carter

Waking Up: Leave Out All The Rest by Linkin Park

First Day At School: Slow Life by Grizzly Bear

Falling In love: Lady Gaga Medley by Lady Gaga

Fight Song: Ruled by Secrecy by Muse

Breaking Up: Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson

Prom: Mr Romeo by Emmi

Mental Breakdown: I Was Broken by Marcus Foster

Flashback: Superman (It’s Not Easy to Be Me) by Five for Fighting

Getting Back Together: Last Kiss by Taylor Swift

Wedding: Who Knew by Pink

Birth of Child: Somebody to Love by Queen

Final Battle: Resistance by Muse

Death Scene: I belong to you/Mon Coeuvre a Ta Voix by Muse

Funeral Song: Hit the Road Jack by Ray Charles (God so ironic)

End Credits: Let Me Sign by Rob Pattinson

If Someone Says "Is This Okay" You Say? United States of Eurasia/Collateral Damage (Muse)
What Would Best Describe Your Personality? I’m not that girl {reprise} (Wicked the musical)
What Do You Like In A Boy/Girl? Her Name is Alice (Shinedown)
How Do You Feel Today? Dreamer (Hilary Duff)
What Is Your Life's Purpose? Conversations With My 13yr Old Self (Pink)
What Is Your Motto? You Belong With Me (Taylor Swift)
What Do Your Friends Think Of You? Bad Romance (Lady Gaga)
What Do You Think Of Your Parents? Reverie (Debussy)
What Do You Think Of Very Often? Tremble For My Beloved (Collective Soul)
What Is 2+2? My way (Happy Feet version)
What Do You Think Of Your Best Friend? Fresh Blood (Dracula the musical)
What Do You Think Of The Person You Like She Bangs (Ricky Martin)
What Is Your Life Story? Beauty and the Beast (Celine Dion)
What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up? Mean (Taylor Swift)
What Do Your Parents Think Of You? Teenage Dirtbag (Wheatus)
What Will They Play At Your Funeral? Fifteen (Taylor Swift)
What Is Your Hobby/Interest? Crushcrushcrush (Paramore)
What Is Your Biggest Fear? Fell Down A Hole (Wolfmother)
What Is Your Biggest Secret? Since You’ve Been Gone (Kelly Clarkson)
What Do You Think Of Your Friends? Atlas (Fanfarlo)
What Will You Post This As? The Wizard and I (Wicked the Musical)

Answer the following questions with the TITLE of the song.

What is my goal in life?:
Wind It Up
What is my best achievement so far?: One Jump Ahead
My epitaph will read: Big, Blonde and Beautiful
My motto in life is: Jump N Move
Last night I dreamt about: Stupid Girls
The first thing I thought when I woke up was: Honey, Honey
Peoples' first impressions of me are: When Will My Life Begin
If I was made world leader, the first thing I'd do is: America
How would I describe myself?: Never Erase
My favourite past-time is: A Thousand Miles
When I look in the mirror, I see: Drumming Song
I feel like: My Prerogative

Shuffle again. Now answer the questions with the FIRST LINE of each song.

I woke up this morning and said: I wanna be a Billionaire so freaking bad
While I was in the shower, I sang:
Shut up, just shut up, shut up.
For breakfast I had:
She’s got a lip ring and five colours in her hair
My girlfriend phoned me and said:
Oh baby, baby how was I supposed to know that something wasn’t right here?
I was late getting out of the house and missed my bus. I was so angry I yelled:
Your Whispers trapped beneath my pillow
While I waited for the next one, some guy came up to me and said: Hello are you there?
When the bus arrived, the conductor told me: After tonight, who knows where we’ll be tomorrow.
By the time I arrived in town, I was thinking: When you see me walking down the street…
I saw someone I knew, so I waved to get their attention and called: I can go a million miles an hour
I went into a cafe and ordered: We were at a party, his earlobe fell in the deep
A charity worker asked me for a donation, and when I said no they said: The gal dem Schillaci
Some guy started flirting with me, and said: I used to think maybe you love me, now I know that it’s true.
To which I replied: Up with your turret, aren't we just terrified?
Then their girlfriend appeared and screamed at me: I don’t mind you telling me what’s been on your mind lately
But before I ran away, I yelled this in return: You were born in a palace by the sea
I only just caught the bus in time, and sat down thinking: Little town, it’s a quiet village
Some kids were playing their music really loud, so I turned round and said: hey mama, hey mama look around, everybody’s grooving to a brand new sound
Someone sent me a text which read: I’m gonna make a change for once in my life
As I walked home, I tripped over and banged my knee. It hurt so much I said: Birds flying high you know how I feel
I had a near-death experience because of it and Tré said to me: Drive fast don’t crash.
Then he asked me what I wanted most and I said: Been working so hard, I’m punching my card
When I got home, my cat said: He was a boy, she was a girl.
I went to bed, and the last thing I thought was: It’s supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

List your top ten favourite Harry Potter characters in no particular order.

1. Draco Malfoy

2. Remus Lupin

3. Sirius Black

4. Lucius Malfoy

5. Luna Lovegood

6. Severus Snape

7. Charlie Weasley

8. Albus Dumbledore

9. Harry Potter

10. Hermione Granger

1. Have you read a five/ten fic before?

o.O nope. I have never in my life come across a Luna/Hermione fic before. That would be so… weird…

2. Do you think three is hot? How hot?

Sirius Black? Hell yeah! He’s a beast! I would so do him *you give incredulous stare* what?! I so would!

3. What would happen if six got one pregnant?

…. Draco was impregnated by Severus? …. Wow. I don’t know how that’s physically possible but I think that child would be awesome. Seriously, Snape’s dry humour and brains paired with Draco’s looks- a child with the potential to overrun the world.

4. Do you recall any good fics about nine?

Numerous, of notable mention ‘Baby Mamma Drama’ when Harry was turned into a 7 year old by a wayward spell from Draco. My heart absolutely melted and I wanted to adopt the little Tyke.

5. Would seven and two make a good couple?

Charlie Weasely and Remus Lupin?! Oh dear God no!

6. Four/eight or four/nine?

Lucius/ Albus or Lucius/Harry

o.O oh dear god, one is too horrible to contemplate and will probably give everyone nightmares, but a Lucius/Harry…. Hot. Lol. There are a few good ones of those on the market.

7. What would happen if seven discovered three and eight in a secret relationship?

If Charlie Weasley found Sirius Black and Albus Dumbledore in a Secret relationship… I think we would all run with Charlie screaming and begging to have someone obliviate us all.*shudders*

8. Make a summary of at least twenty words for a romantic two/six fic.

Remus/Severus… ooh! Goodie

Remus is struggling to come to terms with his ‘condition’ and satiate the monster chomping at the bit. When he goes in search to find a cure, he comes across an old school foe. What he offers may be more that what Lupin is willing to pay.

This looks like a good one, I will be willing to lend this idea to someone… Ah screw it! It’s mine suckers!

9. Is there such a thing as a four/ten romantic fluff story?

Lucius/Hermione fluff story?

Like hell! If there is, I’ve never heard of one or found one.

10. Suggest a title for a one/five Hurt/Comfort fic.

Draco/Luna… possible actually


‘I do believe in Nargles’?

11. What kind of plot would you use if four wanted to kiss one?

… You are seriously sick aren’t you? Okay, the answer to this one is obvious, it would be a story where Lucius would realise he has been a bit too harsh on his son and try to make amends yet Draco pulls away and does not trust him. God, I know you think I’m weird but an incest love story… Come on guys!

12. Does anyone on your friends list read number seven/nine slash??


I have never even heard of that sort of slash! Jeez, does it even exist for them to read?

13. If you wrote a songfic about number ten, what song would you chose?

Oh that’s an easy one! You sort of gave me that one!

So many songs….

Alice by Averil Lavigne… I reckon that would be cool to do.

List twelve of your favourite characters from one of your favourite books, in no particular order.

1. Lissa

2. Dimitri

3. Rose

4. Abe

5. Jill (Jail bait)

6. Eddie

7. Janine Hathaway

8. Ambrose

9. Adrian

10. Mia

11. Sydney

12. Sonia

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?

Eddie and Sydney? That would be cute! They’d be a cute couple!

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Abe? Uh… not really, but if you go for that sort of middle-aged foreign mafia boss guy sort of thing, then sure.

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

Sonia got Ambrose pregnant *dies on the ground laughing* Stop it please, you’re killing me! If it was the opposite way around, then Ambrose better start running! LOL.

4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?

Adrian? I am sure there is many, but I just haven’t read any… Come to think of it, I only read one VA fic which never even got finished. I’m team Dimitri though…

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Dimitri and Eddie? You’re joking right? As a romantic couple, hell to the no but as a friend/work couple, dude, they’d be kick ass!

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

Jill/Adrian or Jill/Mia….

I think the obvious choice here is Jill and Adrian. That would be… weird… cute but so freakin weird!

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

If Janine walked in on Dimitri and Sonia having sex? o.O wow… that would be disturbing… seeing as though Dimitri is having a relationship with Janine’s daughter I think we can all assume that the poo would hit the fan… BIG TIME!

8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.

Oh sweet baby Jesus. I can’t believe you are making me do this…

Rose Hathaway cannot understand why a certain little blonde Moroi keeps following her. I mean sure, they used to be at each other’s throats, there was the time Rose broke Mia’s nose, then the time they escaped the evil strigoi together. But what Rose can’t understand is Mia’s constant presence, lurking around the fringes, waiting. But for what?

9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

Lissa and Ambrose Fluff? Dear God no! this keeps getting worse by the minute!

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

Janine and Sonia


‘To protect the damned’ that has a nice ring to it don’t you think?

11. Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?

More than likely, if they like Rose that is.

12. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?

I think that it’s safe to say that No, no way in hell.

13. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?

Dimitri/Abe/Jill…. *faints from horror* NO WAY!

14. If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

Hmm… good question.

Possibly ‘Figured You Out’ by Nickleback

15. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Lissa/Eddie/Sonia …. Let’s just assume this pairing is not romantic and it’s just a adventure/comfort/mystery story instead… if we are assuming this, I would warn that the following content will be absurdly random and I do not claim responsibility for my actions

16. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?


17. "(1) and (8) are in a happy relationship until (8) runs off with (12). (1), broken hearted, has a hot one-night stand with (4) and a brief unhappy affair with (6), then follows the wise advice of (3) and finds true love with (2).

“Lissa and Ambrose are in a happy relationship until Ambrose runs off with Sonia. Lissa, broken hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Abe and a brief unhappy affair with Eddie, then follows the wise advice of Rose and finds true love with Dimitri”

…. Weird… but somehow, that actually works, except the Abe bit, that’s just plain weird.

18. What title would you give this fic?

‘The Princess and the bodyguard.’ Highly unoriginal but the only one that isn’t disgustingly cliché.

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The Marriage Stone by Josephine Darcy reviews
SSHP. To avoid the machinations of the Ministry, Harry must marry a reluctant Severus Snape. But marriage to Snape is only the beginning of Harry's problems. Voldemort has returned, and before too long Harry's marriage may determine the world's fate.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 78 - Words: 382,044 - Reviews: 15003 - Favs: 9,409 - Follows: 8,034 - Updated: 11/22/2016 - Published: 4/9/2007 - Harry P., Severus S.
The Harry Potter Fan Club by Ickle-Ronnikens reviews
Ginny Weasley runs a Harry Potter fan club for fun and it attracts quite a few interesting characters. Please review and tell me what you think!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,889 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/24/2012 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
The Memories of S, T Snape by oliver.snape reviews
When Snape is cursed with a memory hex, Harry learns that his father and friends were only a very small part of what made Snape the bastard he grew up to be.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 21,774 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 244 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 10/8/2012 - Published: 10/6/2012 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
School For Scandal by rubberbird reviews
John/Sherlock. Sherlock lusts from afar. John tries hard to fool himself. High school AU.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 32 - Words: 219,866 - Reviews: 1574 - Favs: 2,482 - Follows: 1,593 - Updated: 6/24/2012 - Published: 3/21/2011 - [Sherlock H., John W.] Mycroft H., J. Moriarty - Complete
Failure to Thrive by Julesnerd reviews
Bella is sexually unfulfilled after four horrible encounters. She meets Edward Masen, and things begin to change. Edward is sexally insatiable and Bella has been told she's frigid. B/E/AH/AU/OOC. Rated M for a reason! Lemons to follow. Humor/Sarcasm
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 27 - Words: 195,999 - Reviews: 2462 - Favs: 3,634 - Follows: 2,625 - Updated: 6/10/2012 - Published: 6/26/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Motorcycle Hunting by Erica.K.Bailey reviews
Post Breaking Dawn. Bella starts second semester at Dartmouth a short time after the Volturi confrontation. Edward worries he is no longer irrestible. In an effort to regain their connection, they go motorcycle hunting. EPOV, Canon, tasteful lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 16,258 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 9/5/2011 - Published: 8/13/2010 - Edward, Bella
Pains and Contradictions by atypicalsnowman reviews
SS/HP. Slash. When Harry begins to break under the pressures of death and prophesy, help arrives from an unlikely quarter: Snape. Despite their own doubts, manipulations from all sides and hapless interventions combine to bring their two souls together.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 40 - Words: 312,846 - Reviews: 1854 - Favs: 2,633 - Follows: 1,337 - Updated: 8/11/2011 - Published: 8/10/2008 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Baby Mama Drama by Stars-and-Stones reviews
Draco and Potter once again find themselves fighting. But what happens when Draco's spell goes wrong, and he has to take care of an indisposed Potter? Eventual DracoXHarry, rated M for later chapters. Post-War Fic
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 73,325 - Reviews: 1322 - Favs: 2,911 - Follows: 944 - Updated: 11/5/2010 - Published: 3/25/2010 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
A Long Awaited Sentiment by nahimana reviews
When Harry Potter disappears on the Hogwarts Express, why is it that only Snape knows where he is? And when Snape says they were close, just how close does he really mean? SnapeHarry. Timetravel.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 64,271 - Reviews: 796 - Favs: 1,394 - Follows: 374 - Updated: 8/21/2007 - Published: 11/15/2004 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Midnight in the Owlery by The Treacle Tart reviews
On a sleepless night, Remus Lupin finds himself alone in the Hogwarts Owlery. He scribbles a note on a spare bit of parchment and sends it out into the dark night. What happens when someone answers? RemusSeverus
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,217 - Reviews: 149 - Favs: 417 - Follows: 28 - Published: 6/10/2006 - Remus L., Severus S. - Complete
The Tao of Diogenes by The Treacle Tart reviews
SLASH The war is finally over and two veterans meet again…for the very first time. RW-SS COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,650 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 187 - Follows: 9 - Published: 3/15/2004 - Severus S., Ron W. - Complete
Therapy by Lady Feylene reviews
Albus decides that Severus needs to see a therapist. Too bad she's a total nutcase...(mild slash, OotP spoilers)
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,040 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/28/2003 - Severus S., Remus L.
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The Order Of The Sphinx reviews
Ileana MacKay is a seemingly Normal 17 year old girl, but when a curious old wizard shows up on her doorstep and reveals her family's dangerous secret past, she is thrown into a world of dragons, magic and a corrupt ministry intent on using her in evil deeds. First in the Ordered Chronicles
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 41 - Words: 187,563 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 10/30/2012 - Published: 4/30/2011 - OC - Complete
The Vampire's Assasin reviews
Abbie Van Helsing; the vampire slayer everyone is talking about. She is the considered the best in the southern Hemisphere. But when she is kidnapped, how will she cope with doing her enemies bidding? How will she escape? she will question everything she knows and think she knows. ON HITAS.
Crossover - Dracula & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 17,360 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/4/2010 - Published: 8/27/2010 - Marcus
Enter The Circus reviews
When Ashleigh is swept into a horribly realistic nightmare, she begins to question her sanity. After a mysterious warning from a circus gypsy Ashleigh is on high alert. But is it all really a dream? Inspired by the song by Christina Aguleria.
Dracula - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,478 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/4/2010 - Complete
A Russian Princess reviews
Tanya had everything, a title, a family, a lover. Everything goes pear shaped when she is told she has been betrothed to a foreign prince. Someone comes and gives her an offer she cannot refuse. So she bites the apple of immortality. One Shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,748 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/4/2010 - Tanya - Complete
The Girl From Down Under reviews
Ariel is new to Seattle and is already home sick. On a walk through a park she meets two very dark and tall mysterious boys and feels instantly connected to the younger one. Sparks fly. Has Ariel met the man of her dreams? Not sure whether to continue
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,770 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/4/2010 - Seth, Quil Jr.
Thirsty reviews
Ever wondered what Edward was like as a New Born? The Killer of Killers? Find out. You will be thirsty for more. One Shot. Completed
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,971 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/4/2010 - Edward - Complete