BarneyXII
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Joined 08-15-10, id: 2496700, Profile Updated: 11-16-11
Author has written 2 stories for Harry Potter.
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A Very Fleur Christmas by silentclock reviews
He knew better, truly. Why, then, did Harry Potter ask Fleur Delacour to the dance? The Yule Ball as it could have been. Harry/Fleur. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,141 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 33 - Published: 2/12 - Harry P., Fleur D. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Boy Who Lived by The Santi reviews
Harry Potter loves, and is loved by, his parents, his godfather, and his brother. He isn’t mistreated, abused, or neglected. So why is he a Dark Wizard? NonBWL!Harry. Not your typical Harry’s brother is the Boy Who Lived story.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 147,796 - Reviews: 3812 - Favs: 7,148 - Follows: 7,246 - Updated: 1/3 - Published: 9/3/2009 - Harry P.
Far Too Many Time Travelers by Lord Jeram reviews
Someone has a daring plan to go back in time and fix everything. No wait, not him, I meant the other... how many people have time traveled anyway? Poor Harry seems to be the only normal one left.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 43,556 - Reviews: 314 - Favs: 887 - Follows: 1,201 - Updated: 11/28/2014 - Published: 2/9/2011 - Harry P.
Harry Potter and the Heartlands of Time by joe6991 reviews
Sequel to Wastelands! Time has all but run out for Harry Potter. There are no more second chances. No more desperate bids for salvaged redemption. The game has changed, and in the end Harry will learn that the cost of his defiance has never run so high.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 15 - Words: 63,481 - Reviews: 1093 - Favs: 1,543 - Follows: 1,714 - Updated: 11/2/2014 - Published: 9/15/2010 - Harry P., Fleur D.
In the Mind of a Scientist by ZenoNoKyuubi reviews
Harry Potter wasn't raised like in canon. He was top of his class, and very intelligent, always seeking to improve things, and so he learned all kinds of things, and, upon entering Hogwarts, started studying all he could get his hands on! Intelligent!Super!Harry Later Mad Scientist!Harry Rated M for Language, Nudity, and Gore Stein-ish Harry Genres: Humor/Romance/slight Horror
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 82,520 - Reviews: 1771 - Favs: 4,345 - Follows: 2,434 - Updated: 5/4/2013 - Published: 9/23/2012 - Harry P., N. Tonks - Complete
Mysterious Happenings at Malfoy Manor by silentclock reviews
In the investigation that will define his career, Auror Commander Harry Potter leads his team to the heart of evil and depravity. He will soon learn that much more than his job is on the line. Welcome to Malfoy Manor. AU.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror/Mystery - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,232 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 181 - Updated: 8/5/2012 - Published: 5/31/2012 - Harry P., Astoria G.
The Sun Dog by enembee reviews
I am Harry Potter and I've just destroyed everything; space, time, matter and all twenty-six dimensions of our fragile little world in the twinkling of an eye. I am Harry Potter and I have just irreparably violated Global Causality. Take that Hawking.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 25,932 - Reviews: 451 - Favs: 1,172 - Follows: 1,619 - Updated: 4/7/2012 - Published: 2/12/2011 - Harry P., N. Tonks
Outside These Walls by silentclock reviews
The fires of resistance fade one by one, the walls close in, and Harry forsakes his last ties to his homeland, fleeing Britain's dark shores with Daphne at his side. -Oneshot-
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,852 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 164 - Follows: 45 - Published: 3/8/2012 - Harry P., Daphne G. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Lords of Magic I by Taure reviews
Massively AU. Assume nothing. Harry Potter is born into a very different world than the one in canon. A world where the Greats of history walk among mere men. A world where power is all that matters, and young Harry Potter is a commodity desired by many.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 30,856 - Reviews: 299 - Favs: 803 - Follows: 906 - Updated: 6/30/2011 - Published: 2/17/2010 - Harry P.
Concentric Wavelengths by Voice of the Nephilim reviews
Trapped within the depths of the Department of Mysteries, Harry is entangled in a desperate, violent battle against both the Death Eaters and a horrifying creation of the Unspeakables, with time itself left as his only weapon.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 16,195 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 360 - Follows: 87 - Published: 6/8/2011 - Harry P. - Complete
Tête à tête With Tom by knuckz reviews
It's easy to cheat on tests when you have a very knowledgeable Dark Lord only a mind's connection away. Oneshot. Winner of the DLP April Humor Competition!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,064 - Reviews: 210 - Favs: 798 - Follows: 170 - Published: 5/8/2011 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Conlaodh's Song by enembee reviews
Book 2. As the Second War begins, Voldemort becomes obsessed with harnessing the realm of Old Magic to his own ends. Meanwhile, Harry has to contend with the Ministry, ancient foes and the machinations of a world he barely understands.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 57,777 - Reviews: 201 - Favs: 466 - Follows: 282 - Updated: 4/28/2011 - Published: 5/14/2010 - Harry P., Luna L. - Complete
The Skitterleap by enembee reviews
Fifty years ago, Grindelwald won the duel that shaped the world. In a land overwhelmed by darkness, a hero emerges: a young wizard with the power, influence and opportunity to restore the light. Harry Potter, caught up in a deadly game of cat and mouse, must decide what he truly believes. Does this world deserve redemption? Or, more importantly, does he?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 7 - Words: 65,165 - Reviews: 308 - Favs: 781 - Follows: 492 - Updated: 10/11/2010 - Published: 6/19/2009 - Harry P., Fleur D.
Of Harry and Harry by joe6991 reviews
What does it take to end a war? For Harry Potter, the last throw of the dice would count for all. Bargains have been struck and the road to Hell has been paved with the regret of the guilty. A war may end, but a new one will begin...
Crossover - Harry Potter & Dresden Files - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,549 - Reviews: 180 - Favs: 445 - Follows: 540 - Updated: 8/24/2010 - Published: 12/11/2009 - Harry P.
The Thief of Hogwarts by bluminous8 reviews
Summary: AU Young Harry learns to steal as he is fed up from his deprivation of his wants and needs by his guardians. A Thief is born in Privet Drive.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 105,046 - Reviews: 3581 - Favs: 7,410 - Follows: 7,175 - Updated: 6/22/2010 - Published: 7/7/2009 - Harry P.
Tequila by Johnny Farrar reviews
Despite the overwhelming odds, Harry refused to put down his wand or his bottle of tequila.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,025 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 345 - Follows: 83 - Published: 3/13/2010 - Harry P., Tracey D. - Complete
By the Divining Light by enembee reviews
Book 1. Follow Harry and Dumbledore as they descend into the depths of Old Magic seeking power and redemption in equal measure. En route they encounter ancient enchantments, a heliopath and an evil that could burn the world.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 24,970 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 513 - Follows: 168 - Updated: 1/23/2010 - Published: 7/8/2009 - Harry P., Albus D. - Complete
What Would Slytherin Harry Do? by Big D on a Diet reviews
An ongoing series of one shot stories exploring how Slytherin!Harry would have handled key moments from the books. Events will appear out of order, so don't be surprised if it jumps around. Small but important edit made to Chapter Five
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 44,417 - Reviews: 573 - Favs: 2,594 - Follows: 2,044 - Updated: 1/21/2010 - Published: 5/27/2007 - Harry P.
Whatever Happened to Bromance? by vlad the inhaler reviews
Cormac McLaggen explains a few simple truths to Harry, with profound consequences. Harry/Romilda. Smut.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,596 - Reviews: 144 - Favs: 519 - Follows: 322 - Updated: 1/21/2010 - Published: 10/15/2009 - Harry P., Romilda V.
Contemplating Clouds by Tehan.au reviews
Apathetic Occlumency teacher twisting your mind out of shape? Never fear, there's a charming young girl in the year below to twist it back in the opposite direction. Just hope it doesn't snap.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,222 - Reviews: 466 - Favs: 1,394 - Follows: 1,515 - Updated: 1/5/2010 - Published: 10/28/2007 - Harry P., Luna L.
It Could Only Happen to Harry by HoosYourDaddy reviews
After defeating Voldemort in his final year, Harry requires a rare ritual to save his life. Luckily, he has friends who are willing to help him. H/Hr, H/Parv, H/Luna, H/Tonks, H/Fleur. Canon personalities. WARNING: comic smut. Not for younger audiences.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 56,531 - Reviews: 248 - Favs: 1,185 - Follows: 1,019 - Updated: 10/22/2009 - Published: 10/16/2009 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Lost Soul by Perspicacity reviews
Bad things are going down in Chicago, bad supernatural things. So what's new? A green-eyed mage from Britain arrives and hires Dresden to locate something. Once again, Dresden finds himself caught up in matters above his pay grade. No slash.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Dresden Files - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,522 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 254 - Follows: 210 - Published: 10/15/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
The Desk by opalish reviews
Crack oneshot. Malcolm Baddock fails at office warfare, and Harry teaches his desk to speak.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,468 - Reviews: 220 - Favs: 998 - Follows: 112 - Published: 9/23/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
Firewhiskey Nights by Silens Cursor reviews
Four years after the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry badly needs a vacation - and instead he gets an old friend and a Firewhiskey-soaked adventure. Threeshot, Harry/Cho
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,741 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 140 - Follows: 86 - Published: 8/1/2009 - Harry P., Cho C.
Harry Potter: Space Wizard by Taure reviews
These are the voyages of the Wizard Ship Rotfang. Its continuing mission: to blunder aimlessly through the galaxy, leaving chaos in its wake. Its captain: Harry Potter. HP/SG1. One shot.
Crossover - Stargate: SG-1 & Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,783 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 425 - Follows: 139 - Published: 7/17/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
Voldemort, My Pet Inferius by darklordmike reviews
ONESHOT. Post-HBP Humor Fic. Harry and Company discover a novel way to take down the Dark Lord. Bizarre hilarity ensues. Harry/Luna
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,307 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 30 - Published: 6/2/2009 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
The Lie I've Lived by jbern reviews
Not all of James died that night. Not all of Harry lived. The Triwizard Tournament as it should have been and a hero discovering who he really wants to be.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 234,571 - Reviews: 4189 - Favs: 7,990 - Follows: 3,657 - Updated: 5/28/2009 - Published: 2/9/2007 - Harry P., Fleur D. - Complete
Dark Marauder by BajaB reviews
The Maruaders were not nice people, but what if the gang was as Dark as they should at first glance appear to be? AU Marauders era one-shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,613 - Reviews: 313 - Favs: 1,640 - Follows: 270 - Published: 10/10/2008 - James P. - Complete
Familiar Conversations by Shezza reviews
ONE SHOT: Harry must do a bit of fast-talking to Ron explaining just why he was in Rose Weasley's room with no pants on. Submitted as part of the DLP Thank God You're Here challenge. Limit: 1800 words. Time: 60 minutes
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,670 - Reviews: 170 - Favs: 523 - Follows: 114 - Published: 6/25/2008 - Harry P.
A Black Comedy by nonjon reviews
COMPLETE. Two years after defeating Voldemort, Harry falls into an alternate dimension with his godfather. Together, they embark on a new life filled with drunken debauchery, thievery, and generally antagonizing all their old family, friends, and enemies.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 31 - Words: 246,320 - Reviews: 5313 - Favs: 9,589 - Follows: 2,873 - Updated: 4/7/2008 - Published: 2/18/2007 - Complete
First Impressions by Taure reviews
AU oneshot. Albus Dumbledore goes to introduce Harry Potter to the Wizarding world.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,663 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 596 - Follows: 145 - Published: 7/9/2007 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr. - Complete
The Incredibly Dense Mind of Lois Lane by nonjon reviews
COMPLETE. It's a few years post Smallville. Lois Lane and Clark Kent are both reporters at the Daily Planet, often covering the exploits of Superman. Clark decides it's time for Lois to know his secret. He just thinks telling her would be too easy.
Smallville - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 28,898 - Reviews: 404 - Favs: 510 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 2/4/2007 - Published: 12/17/2006 - Clark K./Superman, Lois L. - Complete
Dimension Hopping for Beginners by nonjon reviews
COMPLETE. In the heat of the battle, he swore a blood oath to defeat Voldemort in every form. But when you factor in his understanding and abilities to travel to alternate dimensions, it presented the sort of problem only a Harry Potter could have.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 56,035 - Reviews: 1039 - Favs: 2,314 - Follows: 719 - Updated: 3/13/2006 - Published: 3/4/2006 - Harry P. - Complete
You Did What! by nonjon reviews
COMPLETE. [Third and final story from the 'Where in the World is Harry Potter' trilogy] No one is safe when Harry happens. Not the living relatives, not the dead ones. No one.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 139,965 - Reviews: 1474 - Favs: 1,650 - Follows: 464 - Updated: 1/27/2006 - Published: 10/22/2005 - Harry P., Harry P. - Complete
Therapeutic Discussion by nonjon reviews
COMPLETE. OneShot. If you take one relatively normal savior of the world and then subconsciously put him through typical fanfiction plots in his sleep, what do you get? A very confused man in desperate need of therapy.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,358 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 335 - Follows: 65 - Published: 11/26/2005 - Harry P. - Complete
Happy Birthday, Mr Dark Lord by angel272 reviews
ONE SHOT. Lord Voldemort announces that he's going to celebrate his birthday with Sugar Quills, PintheBeakontheHippogriff, and Death Eaters in hula skirts. Has he finally lost his mind?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,522 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 6 - Published: 11/12/2005 - Voldemort, Peter P. - Complete
Birth of a Name by nonjon reviews
COMPLETE. OneShot. 1943. A Slytherin prefect on the brink of a series of lifechanging events, needs to settle on a secret identity that will inspire fear in the hearts of the weak... You didn’t think 'I am Lord Voldemort' was his first choice, did you?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,535 - Reviews: 479 - Favs: 1,597 - Follows: 223 - Published: 10/15/2005 - Complete
The Untitled Cheekquel Project by nonjon reviews
COMPLETE. [Sequel to Where in the World is Harry Potter?] Now that Harry has been found, he's going to teach DADA at Hogwarts again for the first time. Will he change and grow as a person? Will he find love? Enh... doubtful.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 69,193 - Reviews: 1004 - Favs: 1,572 - Follows: 409 - Updated: 8/29/2005 - Published: 7/9/2005 - Harry P. - Complete
Where in the World is Harry Potter? by nonjon reviews
COMPLETE. PostOotP. Harry Potter fulfilled the prophecy and has since disappeared. Or has he? Tonks and Hermione are the lead Order members continuously hoping to track him down. The question is: can they keep up with him?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 54,625 - Reviews: 1046 - Favs: 2,928 - Follows: 668 - Updated: 4/30/2005 - Published: 4/16/2005 - Complete
Breaking Tradition by Mortalus reviews
When Harry Potter dies at the ripe old age of 107, an unlikely mourner comes to visit his grave.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,672 - Reviews: 449 - Favs: 1,529 - Follows: 216 - Published: 7/17/2002 - Severus S., Voldemort - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

A Game of Style and Brutality reviews
From Hogwarts' historic pitch to the famous stadiums of Europe, Harry fights to earn his place amongst the all-time greats. The stakes are high, and sheer talent is never enough. It's more than just a game. A Quidditch story.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 15 - Words: 118,478 - Reviews: 250 - Favs: 969 - Follows: 1,261 - Updated: 3/22 - Published: 1/4/2012 - Harry P., Daphne G.
A World Away reviews
Voldemort is dead. The war is over, and Harry Potter has won the fight. But things are never as simple as they seem. There are battles yet to fight and another world that needs saving. He thought it was over, but for Harry, it's only the beginning.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,802 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 5/20/2013 - Published: 5/7/2013 - Harry P.