karabell-karaboo723
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Joined 08-18-10, id: 2501552, Profile Updated: 03-20-11
Author has written 14 stories for Harry Potter, Twilight, Law and Order: SVU, Outsiders, Lord of the Flies, and iCarly.

Hello World. This is my FanFiction account. Bet you never could have figured that out on your own.

I also decided to reduce the amount of shit on my profile. PM me if you want something I deleted.


Hi, this is a pretty serious Author's note.

I have come to a hard decision. My iCarly story and also "A Flamingo in a Flock of Pigeons" will be my last stories, at least for a while. Yes, I am going on hiatus, most likely permanently. I am so very sorry to all of my wonderful readers and to anyone who wants for me to update. I really am. But life is happening right now, and I just feel like I need a nap from Fan Fiction.

My iCarly story (Oh Mother, Where Art Thou?)will still be updated according to schedule and "A Flamingo in a Flock of Pigeons" will still be updated precisely whenever I feel like it. So will my Harry Potter song fics, because those help me relax.

I am going to finish (or at least try to finish) up the iCarly story before I leave mainly because I love to write it and because I have a huge plan for it. Revenge of the Mary Sues will be left unfinished, unless someone wishes to adopt it. Let me know. Either way, I don't care too much.

To my fans, friends, and readers: You have made this all worth while. You really have and I am so sorry that I am leaving you all. I really am. I wish that I could carry on doing this for all of you, but I can't. I really just can't. And for that, I am truly sorry.

To all of the Suethors and just not so great writers: get a beta. They can really help you out, you know. When I gave you a critical review, you probably deserved it. Believe it or not, grammar and spelling are still very important, even though we are on the internet. So does character development. Anyways, best of luck improving to you lot.

To all of the self righteous trolls and flamers: get a life. Go outside. Join a club. Ride your bike or walk the dog. See a movie if you actually have any friends. Fresh air is great. So is the sun and Vitamin D. You need Vitamin D to survive, you know. Besides, the sun wont kill you, even if you are a vampire. Trust me, it'll make you a much happier person.

Well, I am sorry to anyone and everyone that will miss me. To everyone that's glad I'm gone, at least you'll be happy for a while until my prodigy comes along. Just kidding. Mel's too nice to be an ass hole like I was.

Happy writing to all, and to all a good night.


I am that girl
The one who isn't "Emo"
The one who isn't "Goth"
The one who isn't really anything at all
The one who doesn't get anime
The one who read Twilight and hated it
The one who never wanted to write one of these poems
The one who hates Justin Bieber's music
The one who isn't a fan of Obama and is not ashamed to say it
The one who doesn't believe in global warming
The one who thinks that some people just need to stop complaining
The one who really doesn't care what you think

But I am that girl
The one who still goes to camp every summer
The one who is proud that she has American Girl dolls
The one who loves America and wants it to be strong
The one who has way too many brothers
The one who prays every day
The one who is not ashamed to be a Christian or a Harry Potter freak or a Republican
The one who is proud to be Southern and have a legit accent
The one who is a West Virginian
The one who will honest to God punch you if you go too far
The one who loves Country Music
The one who has a true best friend (unless you don't give me back my CD)
The one who is her own person

“Don’t like, don’t read” is the stupidest rule ever. If I don’t read it, how will I know if I like it? You are pretty much saying “if you don’t like it, pretend that you didn’t read it and don’t review”. So, the rule should really be “Don’t like, don’t review”. However, people shouldn’t just read a pairing they don’t like just so that they can flame them. That is just rude.

Name: Emily...

Gender: take a guess

Age: I'm able to drive. We'll leave it at that.

Location: Colorado, possibly going back to Jersey. or going to California(ugh). But I was born in Georgia, Lived in Texas, NJ/NYC, West Virginia, and Minnesota. We've moved a lot. Dad's in the army, so it's base after base after base. Except in WV. That was when he was deployed. But, he's back now! yay! I really hope we dont move. AGAIN!

Family- three older brothers, two sisters (one older, one younger), and one more little brother. Yes, we should have a reality show. We could call it "seven kids and, trust me, we are never going to have any more because we can barely stand each other as it is!" and then i have all these cousins who live with us for a month or so at a time because they're too lazy to get jobs.

Favorite Traits- I am hard working, have awesome hair, and I have a legit southern accent. It's very light, but I can still use it to flirt with the system.

Favorite Quote- "I don't have to fight, I can just say 'bless your heart'."- Miranda Lambert, Only Prettier

Hogwarts House: Ironicaly, I got an 81 for Gyffindor, and an 80 for Slytherin. Mysterious...

Time on FF: Since I was about ten. So, more than 5 years.

Heritage: Part German, Black, Norwegian, Cherokee NA, Canaidian, English and a whole lot more. I'm your all-American Mutt!

FF Pet Peeves: MARY-SUES, incest, text-talk, people who dont take anyonomous (hope i spelled it right) reviews, song fics that are song lyrics, people who don't spell/ use grammar, people who only use "THERE", "YOUR", or "NO", alot (it is two words poeple), people who have nothing on their profile, and people who dont update.

Pet Peeves (in general): Skechers commercials, Progressive/AT&T commercials, Ziva David, The Secret Life of the American Teenager, Twilight, my mother, homework, hippies, real life Mary-Sues, Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber, Ke$ha, stupid baby names(tinsley, suri, coco, apple, sparrow, ect) and more!!!!!!!!!!!

I love Harry Potter, NCIS (TATE FOREVER), Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron, L&O: SVU, Walk On by U2, The Outsiders, Friends, The Office, Hockey, beavers, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Remember the Titans! Country music, my dog (a beagle named Hadley/ Bagel), Bagels, West Virginia, WVU, the CRIMSON TIDE! (Roll Tide) and some other stuff i might get around to posting.

If you don't review, I won't write. If I don't write, you won't review. If no one writes, I will cry because I will think no one on Fanfiction likes their stories. If you think people should review after they read, copy and paste this on your profile.

Treat others the way you want to be treated. The Golden Rule really does solve everything. If you think that the world would be a better place if everyone followed the Golden Rule, copy and paste this into your profile.

IMPORTANT!

Rachel Scott was the first of over thirty victims of the Columbine massacre in 1999. The shooting left twelve students and one teacher dead, and over twenty others wounded. Rachel was well known for her kindness and compassion. Just a few weeks before the shooting, she wrote an essay on her ethics. It said "I have this theory that if one person can go out of their way to show compassion then it will start a chain reaction of the same." Rachel's challange is an amazing program that personaly brought me to tears. It stresses the impact one action can make and the importance of compassion. Please, copy and paste this into your profile to help bring some compassion and kindness to the world. For Rachel.

Here's some advice from a book called "Dumbing Down Our Kids"
it's about 11 things you do not
learn in school. He talks about how feel-good,
politically correct teaching has created a full
generation of kids with no concept of reality and how
this concept sets them up for failure in the real
world.

RULE 1
Life is not fair - get used to it.

RULE 2
The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world
will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel
good about yourself.

RULE 3
You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out
of high school. You won't be a vice president with
car phone, until you earn both.

RULE 4
If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a
boss. He doesn't have tenure.

RULE 5
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your
grandparents had a different word for burger flipping
they
called it Opportunity.

RULE 6
If you mess up,it's not your parents' fault, so don't
whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

RULE 7
Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as
they are now. They got that way from paying your bills,
cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about
how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest
from the parasites of your parent's generation, try
delousing the closet in your own room.

RULE 8
Your school may have done away with winners and losers,
but life has not. In some schools they have abolished
failing grades and they'll give you as many times as
you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the
slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

RULE 9
Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get
summers off and very few employers are interested in
helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

RULE 10
Television is NOT real life. In real life people
actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

RULE 11
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for
one.

Rule No. 12: Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic. Next time you’re out cruising, watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth. That’s what you look like to anyone over 20. Ditto for “expressing yourself” with purple hair and/or pierced body parts.

Rule No. 13: You are not immortal. (See Rule No. 12.) If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you obviously haven’t seen one of your peers at room temperature lately.

Rule No. 14: Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school’s a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you’ll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now. You’re welcome.

Jesus is the one I serve.

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the Word...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe in God and Jesus Christ his Son

then copy and paste this in your profile

If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says,

"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."

My Links:

Mary-Sue, Chapter 3, flock of seagulls hair style:http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1241881/Gwyneth-shows-new-flocks-Paltrow-inspired-80s-hairstyle-arrives-Los-Angeles.html
scroll dwn a bit to see the hair style, its the left one.

More bad '80s: http://www.liketotally80s.com/top-80s-fashion-trends.html

Couples and characters:

Harry Potter: all canon, Katie/Oliver, Luna/Draco

Friends: MONDLER, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, Ross

BTR: BTR/OC or Logan/Camille

NCIS: TATE, MCABBY

The Office: JAM, Dwight, Ryan, Angela, Michale

Things Fan fiction taught me;

No matter what you're parents say, there will always be someone who writes better than you.

Not everyone has the same principles that you do.

Just because YOU like a pairing, it doesn't mean it's the best.

Insult their favorite author, their reviewers will come after you.

Unless it's for a good reason, flames make you sound stupid.

If-You-Don't-Like-Don't-Read is a stupid rule that NO ONE follows.

Growing up, is a very good idea.

At one point, everyone is a newb, the idea is to get over it.

Copy and Paste this into your profile if you learned from fanfiction.

COPY AND PASTE TIME!

I'm not going to put a long story on here about a girl getting kicked out or a man saying it's wrong to be a racist. We all know that discrimination is wrong (and calling someone colored isnt really racist- trust me, i know). Re-post this if you believe Discrimination (in anyway) is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

Copy and paste this if you support women's sufferage! and if you know what sufferage means!

Fun Fact: at my high school, a boy went around asking girls if they supported women's sufferage. About 90% said no, they wanted it to end. Sufferage means the right to vote. Copy and paste this if would have (or did say) said YES, you support women's sufferage because you actually know what it means!

Emmet Cullen: Creepier Than You Since 1916

Jasper Hale: More Manipulative Than You Since 1843

Alice Cullen: More Irritating Than You Since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Bigger Bitch Than You Since 1916

Edward Cullen: More of a Pedophilic Rapist-Stalker Than You Since 1901

Bella Swan: More of a Mary Sue Than You Since 1988

You know how Edward knocked up a girl 1/5 his age? Yeah, that's disgusting. Oh, and also physically impossible. 'Cause he's dead. Men don't produce sperm when they're dead.

You know how Jacob made out with Bella against her will? Yeah, that's sexual assault. It's illegal.

You know how Edward followed Bella around and snuck into her bedroom to watch her sleep for several months without her knowledge? Yeah, that's stalking. It's illegal too.

You know how Bella screwed a dead guy? That's called necrophilia. Technically bestiality too, since he's not human. Both are highly frowned upon.

You say Linkin Park
I say Carrie Underwood

You say Taylor Swift
I say get a hearing aid

You say Tokyo Hotel
I say Big and Rich

You say Ke$ha
I say Miranda Lambert

You say Muse
I say Toby Keith

You say My Chemical Romance
I ask you if you are Tara

You say Good Charolette
I say "No, my sister's a bitch." and then ask you if you are Tara

You say Emo
I say Country

You say pop
I say Country

You say Taylor Swift is country
I laugh and say she's pop

You say anything Goth
I send you to the mental institution they (hopefully) locked Tara up in

I wish you were here...
In my room...
On my bed...
The lights are off...
We go under the blanket...
AND I SHOW YOU MY NEW WATCH THAT GLOWS IN THE DARK!!
...What on earth were you thinking?!
YOU PERVERT!!

What makes life 100 percent?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100 percent? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants more than 100 percent. How about achieving 103 percent? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

then:

H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98

K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96

but:

A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100

and:
B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103

So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close,
attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.

And look how far this will take you...

A S S K I S S I N G
1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118

Think about it... and have a nice day at work... :)

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this 'ice ice _'
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.

"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies
Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever!
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.

YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Mortal Kombat was awesome--the game and the movie
Carebears
Gak was the coolest stuff invented.
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
You had to read Weekly Reader's in class.
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.

You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .

Before MIKE JONES . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkmans.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future

When you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket.
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things.
Bold the ones that you remember.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be an over-controlling psycho.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm a REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.(actually, i do. I was poor once).
I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenience store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm FRENCH, so I MUST be rude.
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player. (LOL. I'm pimpin' my buds.)
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER, so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm CALIFORNIAN, so I MUST be tan and blonde.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling psycho.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL, so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I HAVE A FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

Here's a new one: I'm NORWEGIAN so I MUST be a viking.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

What you call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

Best Movie quotes:

"I'll make him an offer he can't refuse." The Godfather

"We're on a mission from God" The Blues Brothers

"Nobody puts Baby in the corner" Dirty Dancing

"Carpe diem! Seize the day, boys" Dead Poet's Society

"You're terrible, Muriel" Muriel's Wedding

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn" Gone With The Wind

"I have a friend in Rome named Biggthus Dickthus." Moonty Python, Life of Brian

"Go ahead, make my day" Sudden Impact

"I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"Dirty Harry

"You can't handle the truth!" A Few Good Men

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talkin' to? You talkin' to me? Well, I'm the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? Oh, yeah? Ok?" Taxi Driver

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend/girlfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

HOW COULD YOU? - By Jim Willis, 2001

When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" -- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a belly rub.

My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love. She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy.

Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love." As they began to grow, I b ecame their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway.

There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog ," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.
Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family, " but there was a time when I was your only family

I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too. After you left, the 2 nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago & made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads & asked "How could you?"

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me.

When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days.

As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?"

Perhaps because she understood my dog speak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her . It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

A Note from the Author: If "How Could You?" brought tears to your eyes as you read it, as it did to mine as I wrote it, it is because it is the composite story of the millions of formerly "owned" pets who die each year in American & Canadian animal shelters. Please use this to help educate, on your websites, in newsletters, on animal shelter and vet office bulletin boards. Tell the public that the decision to add a pet to the family is an important one for life, that animals deserve our love and sensible care, that finding another appropriate home for your animal is your responsibility and any local humane society or animal welfare league can offer you good advice, and that all life is precious. Please do your part to stop the killing, and encourage all spay & neuter camp aigns in order to prevent unwanted animals.


Please pass this on to everyone, not to hurt them or make them sad, but it could save maybe, even one, unwanted pet.

Remember...They love UNCONDITIONALLY.

NOTE FROM DOC: For the love of all that is sweet and just in this world, TRY to find your pet a good home before dumping them in a shelter! They love us, are loyal to us and are truer friends than any two legger could be! They give us so much; PLEASE TRY TO RETURN THE FAVOR!! If you want to save at least one unwanted pet, copy and paste this into your profile!!

Men are like...

...placemats
they only show up when there's food on the table.

...mascara
they usually run at the first sign of emotion.

...bike helmets
they're good in emergencies but usually just look silly.

...government bonds
they take so long to mature.

...copiers
you need them in reproduction but that's about it.

...lava lamps
fun to look at it but not all that bright.

...bank accounts
without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

...high heels
they're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

...curling irons
they're always hot and always in your hair.

...mini skirts
if your not careful they'll creep up your legs.

...handguns
keep one around long enough and your gonna want to shoot it.

Guns don't kill people. People kill people. It's true. I could stab you, poison you, strangle you, smother you, burn you, impale you, shank you, hit you with a car, push you off a cliff, decapatate you, or blow you up and you would die just like if i shot you.

Guns don't kill people. People kill people. Well i wouldn't kill a lot of people if i walked around saying bang. Which means that i can now blame spelling errors on my pencil.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile

If you listen to your Wicked CD religiously, and know the words back to front, copy this onto your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

"Whoever said nothing is impossible has never tried to slam a revolving door," "Yes well, whoever said that is impossible has obviously never met me"

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father prepare to die."- The Princess Bride ~ Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin)

"Duct tape is like the force: It has a dark side and a light side and it holds the universe together." -Carl Zwanzig

"You should write a book translating mad things girls do so boys can understand them." ~Ron OOTP

"Sticks and stones are hard on bones, Aimed with angry art. Words can sting like anything, But silence breaks the heart."-Phyllis Mcgenlee

"Wise men talk because they have something to say, fools talk because they have to say something."-Plato

It is not impossible, merely highly improbable

25 things my mom taught me

My mom taught me to APPRECIATE a job well done
"If your going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

My mom taught me RELIGION
"you'd better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mom taught me about TIME TRAVEL
"if you dont straighten up, I'll knock you into next week."

My mom taught me LOGIC
"because I said so, that's why!"

My mom taught me MORE LOGIC
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

My mom taught me FORESIGHT
"make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

My mom taught me IRONY
"keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about!"

My mom taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"shut your mouth and eat your dinner!"

My mom taught me about CONTORTIONISM
"just look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mom taught me about STAMINA
"you''ll sit there untill all that spinach is gone."

My mom taught me about the WEATHER
"your room looks like a tornado has gone through it."

My mom taught me about HYPOCRISY
"I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"

My mom taught me about THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
"i brought you into this world, and i can take you out!"

My mom taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"stop acting like your father!"

My mom taught me about ENVY
"there are millions of less fortunate children who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

My mom taught me about ATICIPATION
"just wait untill we get home!"

My mom taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE
"if you don't stop crossing your eyes, they'll freeze that way!"

My mom taught me ESP
"put your sweater on; I know when your cold"

My mom taught me HUMOR
"when that lawn mower cuts off your toes, dont come running to me."

My mom taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT
"eat your veggtables or you'll never grow up."

My mom taught me GENETICS
"your just like your father"

My mom taught me about my ROOTS
"do you think you were born in a barn?"

My mom taught me WISDOM
"when your my age, you'll understand"

My mom taught me about JUSTICE
"one day you'll have kids, and i hope they turn out just like you!!!!"

Brilliant! It's Potions last thing on Friday! Snape won't have the time to poison us all! -Harry Potter

Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher. There was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head! - Harry Potter

Yeah, we really ought to be trying to make friends with people like that. - Harry Potter

Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. Did I say that out loud?- Chandler, Friends

Paper. Snow. A Ghost!!!!- Joey, Friends

Or what? you'll high-yah again- Phoebe to Ross, Friends

I'm in colledge and I'm in a band.- Chandler, Friends

I didnt want her to think I'm a bad mother, I cant even see my own baby!- Rachel, Friends

It actually promotes a healthy body image because even big buts... please dont take her away from me- Ross, Friends

OH MY GOD!!!!!- Janice, Friends

The Posche is not a place to entertain my lady friends- Joey, Friends

Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you- Phoebe, Friends

Some day I'll tell you about the time I stabbed a cop. WHAT!!! HE STABBED ME FIRST.- Phoebe, Friends

I just happend to have my lable maker- Monica, Friends

Apparently you cant just drop someone off at rehab. They have to sign in on their own.- Michale, the Office.

That's what she said!- Michale, the Office

You have the right to an attorney and if you throw up in my car, I'll kill ya- Fin L&O:SVU

It's a case of he said, she said, he's dead- Cap. Cragen L&O:SVU

Prisoner: I've heard stories about the Black Pearl...they leave no survivors.
Capt. Jack Sparrow: If there aren't any survivors, then where do all the stories come from?

[Looking through a victim's purse for ID]
No jewelry. I always carry at least a pair of earrings in my purse.
Yeah, like you carry a purse.
That's 'cause you carry it for me.- Eliot and Olivia L&O:SVU

We're looking for leads on Deacon's murder, not "America's Skankiest Home Videos".- John Munch L&O:SVU

Olivia: Your one night as a bachelor and you go to the grocery store? That's lame.
Elliot : [shrugs
] A grocery store with strippers- L&O:SVU

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of ever line

One of my best friends died recently; I'm really upset. He was such a great guy and I miss him. Maybe you knew of him. Most people did. I hope it wasn't you who contributed to his death, otherwise I shall dispatch a vicious band of lions to disembowel you. My friend was a paragon of amazing. His name was Common Sense. I am sorry to inform you of his demise. Mourn with me.

Dearly beloved…we gather here to say our goodbyes. Here he lies…

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate and teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home because the burglar can sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Rest In Peace, my old friend.


Self Help Sites

Tired of people calling your OC a Mary-Sue? Or out of place in the era? Try these sites!

Baby Names (type in year of birth)-http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames/

Popular American Culture (this directs to the 1970s/ marauders era but there are more, and there is a bit on Europe)-http://kclibrary.lonestar.edu/decade70.html

Major Events (this is a wikipedia, but it's better than nothing, and it's for the year 1970, but you can search for more)-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1970

Popular Fashions (these are for the 1960s-1980s, but there are more)-http://www.fashion-era.com/1960-1980.htm

Heed my advice. And happy reading.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Would You Like Lembas With That? by Lyrical Ballads reviews
[Discontinued] Haldir experiences the joy and pain of working in a fast food restaurant. Oh, if only he had gone to college.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 40,232 - Reviews: 199 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 2/2/2012 - Published: 7/8/2010 - Haldir, Faramir, Peregrin T.
Everybody Needs Somebody by fantasamigoricalproductions reviews
Theres a new band staying at the Palm Woods. Just some MORE distractions for the boys we all know as Big Time Rush. Will they fall in love? What kind of BTR fic would it be if they didn't? TEMPORARILLY OFF HIATUS!
Big Time Rush - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 34,674 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 7/3/2011 - Published: 4/12/2010 - Kendall, Carlos
and the world crashed around them by sierrafoxtrot reviews
Written for the Dumbledore's Army countdown surprise challenge on hpfc. 10: Michael Corner wonders if there's time for one last cigarette. Michael/Luna T
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,107 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 8 - Published: 4/20/2011 - Michael C., Luna L. - Complete
Ten Reasons Why I Ship EK by Foreword reviews
Instead of always having to explain or defend my reasons for why I ship the way I do, I can send people to this piece. Be happy, people.
Law and Order: SVU - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 511 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 5 - Published: 2/17/2011 - E. Stabler, K. Stabler - Complete
All My Loving by puckerbray reviews
How would life be for Quinn and Puck if they had kept Beth? Fast forward a few years. Puck and Quinn are married. Beth is five. And they're happy, taking life as it comes. A collection of one-shots. Quick and Beth.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,986 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 2/10/2011 - Published: 2/1/2011 - Puck, Quinn F.
Sirius Black: Mary Sue Hunter by Captain Boo Bear reviews
There's a Suedemic at Hogwarts, and only Sirius Black, aided by that specky boy wonder who's always hanging around, can stop it. Thirteen up.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 13 - Words: 3,049 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 12/1/2010 - Published: 7/13/2010 - Sirius B.
The One in the Future by Riley Urban reviews
Set 4yrs after the end of season 10. All the friends are married or engaged now and live in the subburbs, they're all happy until something terrible happens to each family
Friends - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 30 - Words: 44,595 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 10/17/2010 - Published: 9/22/2010 - Rachel G., Ross G. - Complete
The Harry Potter Pledge by Imaginewhirledpeas reviews
A pledge I made up myself for Harry Potter.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 233 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/26/2010 - Complete
How to Woo, the Lockhart Method by Lady Flick reviews
'...should you exalt her beauty and grace too much, her head shall inflate and she'll realize she is far too good for you. It's never happened to me, of course, but I've been told that it often occurs.' proposal challenge response! GL/NM.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,710 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 10 - Published: 9/12/2010 - Gilderoy L., Narcissa M. - Complete
Fed Up by Metalchick36 reviews
Fin & Munch get tired of putting up with Elliot & Olivia getting all the gold stars from Cragen. Title also refers to those readers who are sick of EO stories with happy endings. EO shippers, go ahead and list this as crackfic, I dare you!
Law and Order: SVU - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,681 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/14/2010 - O. Tutuola, J. Munch - Complete
Reasons to Hate Twilight! by The Slinky Master reviews
Twilight sucks. You know it. Here are some reasons to hate it!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 220 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 10 - Published: 2/19/2010
Of Overthinking Prophecies and Growing a Backbone by Sarah1281 reviews
A Macbeth parody in which Macbeth does anything to avoid being called a coward and doesn’t believe in witches, no one notices Lady Macbeth is obviously evil, everyone overthinks the prophecies, and Malcolm may be the only sane man.
Shakespeare - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,964 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 11/14/2009 - Published: 10/20/2009 - Complete
The Girl Who Hated Twilight: Based On A True Story by x0clairedelunex0 reviews
The title speaks for itself.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,413 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/24/2009 - Complete
My Immortal: THE END by Genkigami reviews
The infamous My Immortal ended. The truth is revealed.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,176 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/13/2009
As Told By The Pevensies by LucyCrewe11 reviews
While cleaning up after a house party gone wrong, Peter, Edmund, and Susan try to answer one little question, "What REALLY happened last night?"
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,099 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 6/19/2009 - Published: 6/14/2009 - Edmund Pevensie, Peter Pevensie - Complete
Dissection of a Mary Sue by ArianaRae reviews
We've all seen them. We all know them. A field guide to that worst nightmare of readers everywhere.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,485 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/16/2009 - Complete
Vampires Will Never Hurt You by Ebony Dark'ness reviews
Bella can't decide between Edward and Jacob. Then she discovers a secret: the two boys are secretly in love with each other. Alternate title MeYer Immortal.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 12 - Words: 14,410 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 12/2/2008 - Published: 11/22/2008 - Edward, Jacob
My Immortal: The Horror Finally Ends by taro-sama reviews
My Immortal. The WORST fanfic known to man. Watch as we destory it! WARNING: FEATURES 200KG OF STEAK AND CHARACTER DEATH...But since it's only "Enoby", no one cares.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,061 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/3/2008 - Complete
Dumbledore's Army and the Year of Darkness by Thanfiction reviews
Originally posted as the Dumbledore's Army Series: A novel following Neville and the D.A. through the 7th year at Hogwarts under the reign of Snape and the Carrows. Contains ALL previously posted sections.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 25 - Words: 256,506 - Reviews: 1545 - Favs: 2,628 - Follows: 432 - Updated: 6/15/2008 - Published: 6/11/2008 - Neville L. - Complete
For the Rest of Our Lives by Catatonic Catalyst reviews
Pre HBP. Luna and Terry are having a really weird day, and it’s not even dawn yet. And come dawn, it isn't going to get any better... LLTB
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,867 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Published: 9/2/2007 - Terry B., Luna L. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Attack of the MarySues! reviews
REPOST It's every bad Harry Potter fic you've ever read. Reading the books, Ebony, American Transfer students, Harry's siter, abudant OOCness and more. Dont like cruel parodies? Well don't read this. WARNING- This may destroy all faith left in hummanity.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 24,593 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 11/22/2011 - Published: 4/20/2011 - Harry P., Draco M.
Coming Out reviews
Written for Day of Silence. Albus thinks about being gay and the consequences of coming out. Mostly internal. R&R, please
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 654 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Published: 4/15/2011 - Albus D., Ariana D. - Complete
Oh Mother, Where Art Thou? reviews
"I know it hurts, but we have to find them. For Spencer." What happened to Mrs. Shay & Mr. Benson? Why haven't they even been mentinoned? Well now Carly and Freddie have to find them before it's too late and Spencer dies. Seddie, Spencer/OC, Carly/OC. R&R
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,252 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 3/12/2011 - Published: 2/24/2011 - Sam P., Freddie B.
Revenge of the MarySues reviews
The Sues are still around and worse than ever. Harry, Ron, and Draco must now save the entire world of Fan Fiction from this menace. They will encounter OOCs, Mary Sues and more. Sequel to Attack of the Mary Sues. This may cause a loss of faith in mankind
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,735 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 3/3/2011 - Published: 1/12/2011 - Draco M., Harry P.
A Flamingo In a Flock of Pigeons reviews
When 4 Mary Sues come to Marauder Hogwarts everyone will fall in love with them, but who will they fall in love with? Will they figure out their secret? And will Sally finaly say Sirius's name right? Parody Alert! Please R&R!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,409 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 2/17/2011 - Published: 9/26/2010 - Sirius B., OC
All We Are: Harry Potter Song Fics reviews
A collection of Harry Potter song fics. All canon. T to be safe. Now multiple chapters. Make a request if you wish.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,062 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/5/2011 - Published: 1/4/2011
Lord of the Time Shares reviews
What if a bunch of girls had crash landed instead of boys? Yes, it's cliche, but it's pretty funny. Not all girls are compatilbe to their male counterparst, though, so be warned.
Lord of the Flies - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,418 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 1/28/2011 - Complete
Lessons I Learned From Twilight reviews
A list of twenty things that I learned from the Twilight Saga. Please R&R. K cuz I'm paranoid.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 490 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 7 - Published: 12/30/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Not Another EliotOlivia Story! reviews
Liv gets assulted AGAIN! Liv gets pregnant AGAIN! Eliot & Liv save the day AGAIN! Will Fin & Munch finally snap? after all, Liv can only get pregnant with triplets so many times before you've had enough. It's every E/O story combined into one! Epilogue up
Law and Order: SVU - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,567 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/28/2010 - Published: 10/28/2010 - J. Munch, K. Stabler - Complete
From the Eyes of a Stranger
We all know how the tragic deaths of Dally and Johnny impacted the gang, but what about the other people of Tulsa? Their funeral as seen from the eyes of a teenager named Cynthia. T for cussing/ brief sexual references in chapter 2. OC alert.
Outsiders - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,466 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/24/2010 - Sodapop C., Dallas W.
Therapy With Death Eaters reviews
Why are Death Eaters so evil? was it all because of their father or was their mother really to blame. From the person who brought you Attack of the Mary-Sue, comes yet another piece of crap to grace the pages of fan Fiction. Read it, you know you want to.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,227 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 10/23/2010 - Published: 9/20/2010 - Draco M., Voldemort
Let's Go To Walmart reviews
Well, Harry and Ron are at Wal-Mart. And, they have the list of things to do there. God, help us all. No OC's, and this has an actual plot line
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 983 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 12 - Published: 10/15/2010 - Harry P., Ron W.
Vampires Sometimes Bite reviews
Edward Bella and Jacob go to a place where nothing is as it seems. Where true love may not be as true as they think. And where vampires sometimes bite. E/B, J/B, J/R, ect.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,011 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/12/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Low Ceiling, James reviews
A short, cute little drabble about baby Harry being tossed in the air. Poor little thing. Includes all the Marauders, except Peter. Read and Review, please!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 568 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 20 - Published: 9/26/2010 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
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