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Joined 08-19-10, id: 2502751, Profile Updated: 12-03-11
Author has written 9 stories for Scrubs, Harry Potter, Book Thief, Avatar: Last Airbender, Legend of Korra, and Homestuck.

Hiya, I'm Sam!
Age: Old enough to know that age is but a number
Location: Hogwarts
You probably guessed my gender, but here's a hint: No Y chromosomes!
Blood Status: Half-Blood
Pet: Black cat (No joke, I have a black kitty named Cat)
Wand (According to Pottermore): Larch, phoenix feather core, ten inches, hard (What the french toast? Hard?)
House (Also according to Pottermore): RAVENCLAW! WOOOO! GO SMART KIDS!
Patronus: Caspian Tiger
Animagus: Arctic Fox
PMs are welcome! *Share the books, not the pain.*

List your twelve favorite Harry Potter Characters in no particular order:

1. Hermione

2. Luna

3. Harry

4. Fred

5. Voldy

6. Bellatrix

7. Draco

8. Dobby

9. George (because there can't be Fred and no George)

10. Blaise Zabini *swoon*

11. Professor McGonagall

12. Hagrid

1) Have you ever read a six/eleven fanfic before? {Professor McGonagall/Bellatrix}

No, but I imagine someone would die.

2) Do you think four is hot? How hot? {Fred}

Well, duh. It's Fred.

3) What would happen if twelve got eight pregnant? {Hagrid/Dobby}

EW. Just, EW.

4) Do you recall any fics about nine? {George}

A sad one one about him trying to get over Fred's death. *Tear*

5) Would two and six make a good couple? {Luna/Bellatrix}

Those two brands of crazy will not mix. No way in hell.

6) Five/Nine or five/ten? {Voldy/George/Voldy/Blaise}

Not that I know of. They'd be pretty weird, though.

7) What would happen if seven walked in on two and twelve having sex? {Draco, Luna/Hagrid}

Poor Draco would probably kill himself... and... Hagrid might get fired, you know how they hate those student-teacher relationships...

8) Make up a summary of a three/ten fanfic. {Harry/Blaise}

Blaise Zabini dethrones Malfoy and takes over as Harry's Slytherin rival. Yeah, that could work.

9) Is there any thing as one/eight fluff? {Hermione/Dobby}

Probably is, we all know how Hermione just loves those darn house elves.

10) Suggest a title for a seven/twelve hurt/comfort fic. {Draco/Hagrid}

"Half-Giant Professor and Sexy Slytherin Boy: A Pairing for the Record Books."

11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted four to de-flower one? {Fred/Hermione}

Fred Weasley attempts to teach Hermione Granger how to have fun, in a very naughty way. Tisk, tisk. What will George say?

12) Does anyone on your friends list read three? {Harry}

No, I defiinitely have friends that don't read HARRY POTTER FANFICTION about HARRY FREAKIN' POTTER. *Sarcasm*

13) Does anyone on your friends list draw or write eleven? {Professor McGonagall}

Totally, everyone loves her.

14) Would anyone on your friends list write two/four/five? {Luna/Fred/Voldy}

I'm gonna have to say no...

15)What might ten scream at a great moment of passion? {Blaise}

"My mother is not a gold digger!"

16)If you wrote a song fic about eight, what song would you use? {Dobby}

"I always feel like/ Somebody's watchin' me!"

17) If you wrote a one/six/twelve fic, what would the warning be? {Hermione/Bellatrix/Hagrid}

Warning: Intense torture and moderate underestimation of Magical Creatures.

18) What would be a good pick up line for ten to use on two? {Blaise/Luna}

"Roses are red, violets are blue, I thank God each day I'm not crazy like you. Let's go shag in the broomshed."

There is no such thing as evoulution, only a long list of animals Chuck Norris as allowed to live!

When Chuck Norris walks into the bathroom the mirror breaks becuase even it knows not to stand between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris!

Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't cry!

Chuck Norris does not need to read. He just stares down the book till it gives him the info he needs!

If you searched "Chuck Norris" on Google, it wouldn't come up with anything, because you don't find Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris finds YOU.

The reason babies cry when they are born is becuase they are born into a world with Chuck Norris!

Chuck Norris doesn't need a watch to tell time, Chuck Norris tells the watch what time it is!

Chuck Norris was the first man on Mars. That's why there is no life there.

Chuck Norris can do a whellie on a unicycle!

Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norrised!

(\ _ /)
(O.o )

This is Bunny.
Copy Bunny into your profile to help him on his way to world domination

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, asshole!

The Soldier stood and faced God
Which must always come to pass
He hoped his shoes were shining
Just as bright as his brass.

"Step forward you Soldier,
How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek?
To My Church have you been true?"

The Solider squared his shoulders and said
"No, Lord, I guess I ain't
Because those of us who carry guns
Can't always be a saint."

I've had to work on Sundays
And at times my talk was tough,
And sometimes I've been violent,
Because the world is awfully rough.

But, I never took a penny
That wasn't mine to keep.
Though I worked a lot of overtime
When the bills got just to steep,

And I never passed a cry for help
Though at times I shook with fear,
And sometimes, God forgive me,
I've wept unmanly tears.

I know I don't deserve a place
Among the people here.
They never wanted me around
Except to calm their fears.

If you've a place for me here,
Lord, It needn't be so grand,
I never expected or had too much,
But if you don't, I'll understand."

There was silence all around the throne
Where the saints had often trod
As the Soldier waited quietly,
For the judgment of his God.

"Step forward now, you Soldier,
You've borne your burden well.
Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,
You've done your time in Hell."


Ways to Annoy people at the cinema:

Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"

Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.

Clap when the good guy gets killed.

During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"

Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"

Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.

Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.

Yell out what is going to happen.

Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.

Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.

Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.

Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.

Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.

Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.

Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.

Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...)

Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.

Try to start a wave.

Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.

Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.

Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"

Sing with the theme music.

Bring and use your own air freshener.

At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."

Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.

Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.

Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.

Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"

Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.

Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.

Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.

When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"

Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.

Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"

Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.

Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.

Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat"

Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.

Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.

When someone walks by you in the aisle scream, "Ahhhhhh! Bad Touch!"

Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself.

Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.

During a love scene, stand up and run to the screen shouting "Hooters!"

Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room.

Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.

Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"

Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"

Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"

Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer’s name is going to be said.

Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.

Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.

Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.

Pass by a room that’s showing a movie you’ve already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the ending.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality by Less Wrong reviews
Petunia married a biochemist, and Harry grew up reading science and science fiction. Then came the Hogwarts letter, and a world of intriguing new possibilities to exploit. And new friends, like Hermione Granger, and Professor McGonagall, and Professor Quirrell... COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 122 - Words: 661,619 - Reviews: 33290 - Favs: 20,662 - Follows: 16,331 - Updated: 3/14/2015 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Another Form of the Avian Bird Flu by St. Fang of Boredom reviews
So, Fang gets sick. The flu, to be exact. And, of course, he has to pull a whole 'Whining Macho Prince' thing about it. Max and Dr. Martinez deal with Fang's attitude, Iggy tries to boycott Campbell's Soup, the Flock play with a blender, and...FAX! Eggy!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 68 - Words: 103,238 - Reviews: 4222 - Favs: 1,131 - Follows: 830 - Updated: 3/13/2013 - Published: 10/3/2008 - Fang, Max
Fly By Twilight: The Volturi by St. Fang of Boredom reviews
Third in the 'Fly By Twilight' trilogy. The Flock is just settling into their new home in Forks, but the Volturi are watching closely. It's seems Max's destiny is close at hand, but how will she fulfill it?
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 12,329 - Reviews: 176 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 101 - Updated: 6/4/2012 - Published: 10/2/2010 - Fang
Incredible by little lea valkyrie reviews
Rated T: She stopped hearing voices. He stopped mimicking. Her voice lost meaning. He forgot to listen. Her Voice left her for dead. His voice was lost to the wind. But they slipped up, and the walls are crumbling. How much longer can they stand?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Drama - Chapters: 37 - Words: 68,841 - Reviews: 466 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 7/17/2011 - Published: 8/17/2010 - Max - Complete
Indescribable by little lea valkyrie reviews
DISCONTINUED. She could hear the voices again. He began to mimic. Her voice gained a purpose. He learned how to see. She regained her Voice. He reminded her to listen. Those who'd scorned them were in for a brutal surprise. Can they weather the storm?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 14 - Words: 44,777 - Reviews: 173 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 7/17/2011 - Published: 12/24/2010 - Max - Complete
The Singing Shadowhunters by Bremond reviews
When Alec starts singing Eye of the Tiger, you know something's very, very wrong.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,208 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 1/19/2011 - Published: 1/10/2011 - Clary F., Jace W. - Complete
Fly By Twilight: The Pack by St. Fang of Boredom reviews
Sequel to Fly By Twilight: The Coven. A Maximum Ride/Twilight crossover. Fang and the Flock are finally reunited! But what new insanity are they being subjected to? What's up with Iggy? And...Love is in the air?
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 37,643 - Reviews: 773 - Favs: 234 - Follows: 168 - Updated: 10/2/2010 - Published: 2/28/2009 - Fang - Complete
Taking Chances by xcbambidx reviews
Perry Cox has a dream of returning his old Glee Club to its former glory. Elliot Reid has a dream to make it big on Broadway. JD just wants to have a dream. AU. Scrubs/Glee crossover.
Scrubs - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 19,066 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 7/27/2010 - Published: 6/9/2010 - John D./J.D., Elliot R.
Diary of a Lovesick Mutant by Phoenix Fanatic reviews
Ever wonder what it's like to be inside Fang's head? Follow Fang's diary as he attempts to tell Max he loves her in just one year, while also trying to save his neck. It's hard to be a guy...Fax. Complete.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 62 - Words: 239,551 - Reviews: 8279 - Favs: 1,868 - Follows: 727 - Updated: 6/12/2010 - Published: 6/2/2009 - Fang, Max - Complete
The Ouija Board by Fangalicous08 reviews
Max and Fang discover a mysterious game, but soon the game gets out of hand. Can Max and Fang get themselves out of this mess or will they come to a tragic end?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Spiritual - Chapters: 15 - Words: 14,549 - Reviews: 163 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 7/9/2009 - Published: 6/4/2009 - Max, Fang - Complete
Fly By Twilight: The Coven by St. Fang of Boredom reviews
Maximum Ride/Twilight Crossover. After Fang is captured from the Flock, he's taken to an Institute whose Director isn't quite human. And she's decided it's time Fang live up to his name. Is Fang completely doomed? Not if the Cullens have their say...
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 23 - Words: 40,544 - Reviews: 325 - Favs: 215 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 2/28/2009 - Published: 10/20/2008 - Fang, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
Resistance by lorien829 reviews
Voldemort has launched an all out war on the Wizarding World, and has taken the Boy Who Lived. But he has not reckoned on the resourcefulness of Hermione Granger. HHr developing in a sort of postapocalyptic environment.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 28 - Words: 269,062 - Reviews: 398 - Favs: 538 - Follows: 231 - Updated: 2/8/2009 - Published: 1/10/2006 - Hermione G., Harry P. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Twist reviews
John, Dave, Rose, and Jade volunteer at the Veil, a fearsome asylum, and meet twelve trolls with very psychotic tendencies. But some of the trolls are too involved with them - and John can't shake Vriska Serket, confirmed sociopath, from his mind. Sometimes the asylum treats insanity, but other times, the asylum breeds insanity. Mildly heavy themes. JohnVris, Davezi
Homestuck - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,625 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 7/3/2012 - Published: 6/27/2012 - John E.
What Skaia Saw
Drabbles based on one-word prompts. Multiple characters, pairings, and settings. Review to vote for next chapter. Prompt One: Stranger.
Homestuck - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 766 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/13/2012 - Published: 6/10/2012
Bye reviews
If Kanaya had been there as her morail died. Pretty Sadstuck. Mild Kanaya/Vriska.
Homestuck - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 896 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/28/2012 - Kanaya M., Vriska S. - Complete
Fractured reviews
To fight Amon, Korra and friends must travel to the other nations to put together an army of benders. But it's possible that everyone's motives aren't on the table, and the politics of war can be as deadly as the war itself. T for fighting, etc.
Legend of Korra - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,203 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 8 - Published: 5/3/2012 - Korra, Mako
Fracture reviews
To fight Amon, Korra and friends must travel to the other nations to put together an army of benders. But it's possible that everyone's motives aren't on the table, and the politics of war can be as deadly as the war itself. T for fighting, etc.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,203 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 13 - Published: 5/2/2012 - unknown 5, unknown 7
Harry Potter and the Vanquisher of Heaven and Hell reviews
Harry's fifth year is turned upside down by the Sorting Hat's song and a new prophecy. To make matters worse, Voldemort has obtained a dark and other-wordly power that drags Harry onto a path of deceit and inhumanity he cannot step off of. Eventual H/Hr
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 12 - Words: 38,391 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 3/22/2012 - Published: 10/1/2011 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Complete reviews
When Liesel finds out that Max died in Dachau, Death is forced to take her far earlier than he would have liked. At least Himmel Street was complete. Not Liesel/Max.
Book Thief - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,188 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/11/2012 - Death, Liesel M. - Complete
My Just Keep Swimming reviews
Working at Sacred Heart, J.D. knows all about hardships. Most of the time, he and his co workers just want to make it through the day. And J.D. is learning a little about standing up to everything life throws at you...
Scrubs - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,395 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 6/21/2011 - Published: 5/13/2011 - John D./J.D., Elliot R.
Terrible Things reviews
J.D. listens to a song with his son after the funeral of someone he loved
Scrubs - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,245 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/22/2011 - John D./J.D. - Complete
Manager of:
Community: J.D. and Elliot For the Win!
Focus: TV Shows Scrubs