Author has written 9 stories for Batman Begins/Dark Knight, Beetlejuice, Once Upon a Time, Hobbit, and A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Hellooo people in fan fiction land! I'm just doing this because I've got alot of ideas that I want to share. I just hope my readers (that's you, yes you. The person who's reading this right now) will like them too. Okay let's do this!
First of all, I'm a big Sherlock Holmes, Doctor Who?, and The Dark Knight fan! Second, I'm crazy. Third,... we'll get to that later.I absolutly love the musicals Wicked and The Phantom of the Opera. I Love, with a capital L, The Joker Blogs! I'm a huge Bookworm. Actually, I don't even think the term Bookworm pertains to what I am. I'm a Book Addict or a Book-a-holic! I have a disease!
"My life is like a paintbrush; it spreads color everywhere it goes." (my own quote)
Man: "Well you're just a little Southern Belle, arn't ya?"
Woman: "Actually I'm more like a Southern Gong."
(my own saying)
(Actually happened) *Office Cuticles* Employee yells out: "How do ya spell 'Saliva'?
Other employee shouts back: "S.P.I.T!"
My Favorite TV Shows: Doctor Who?, Once Upon a Time, Sherlock BBC, NCIS, Ware House 13, Chuck, Castle, Psych, The 10th Kingdom, The Mentalist, Full House, I Love Lucy, The Dick Van Dyke Show, Batman:The Animated Series, Beetlejuice: The Animated Series, The Mask: The Animated Series, Xena: Warrior Princess, Sherlock Holmes (Starring Jeremy Brett), Scooby-Doo, America's Funniest Home Videos Everybody Loves Raymond, BBC's Robin Hood.
My Favorite Movies: The Dark Knight, The Avengers, Sherlock Holmes 1 & 2, Pirates of the Caribbean series, Inception, Alice in Wonderland (2010), Labyrinth, Chronicles of Narnia series, The Phantom of the Opera, The Hobbit, A Knight's Tale, Edward Scissorhands, Pennelope, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Mask, Hello Dolly!, Funny Girl.
My Favorite Actors: Jim Caviezel, Tom Hiddleston, David Tennant, Heath Ledger, Johnny Depp, Robert Downy Jr., Michael Keaton, Robert Carlyle, Orlando Bloom, Andy Serkis, Mark Sheppard, Martin Short, Cillian Murphy, Michael Caine, Paul Bettany, Antonio Banderez, and Anthony Hopkins.
My Favorite Actresses: Audrey Hepburn, Sandra Bullock, Anne Hathaway, Julie Andrews, Reese Witherspoon, Hilary Swank, Zoey Deschanel, Amy Adams, and Kristen Chenowith.
My Favorite Movie/TV quotes: "Good evening ladies and gentlemen; we are tonight's entertainment!" The Joker (The Dark Knight)
"Madness, as you know, is like gravity; all it takes is alittle push." The Joker (The Dark Knight)
"Ssssssmokin'!" The Mask (The Mask)
"Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I shall be your slave." Jareth, the Gobln King (Labyrinth)
"It's showtime." BeetleJuice (BeetleJuice)
"Elle! You look like the fourth of July! ... It makes me want a hotdog real bad." (Legally Blonde II)
"Besides, there's religious differences."
"Spanish is not a religion!"
Albert Peterson & Rose Alverez (Bye-Bye Birdie)
"Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the Goblin City to take back the child that you have stolen. For my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom is as great. You have no power over me." Sarah Williams (Labyrinth)
"Give us the gate key."
"I have no gate key."
"Fezzik, tear his arms off."
*suddenly produces gate key* "Oh, you mean this gate key."
Inigo Montoya & Guard (The Princess Bride)
"Did you get mauled by a tiger?"
"It was a dog."
"It was a big dog."
Alfred Pennyworth & Bruce Wayne (The Dark Knight)
"How 'bout a magic trick?" The Joker (The Dark Knight)
"We're only trying to help!"
"I don't need any help!"
"Not in my diagnosis."
"What gives you the right? What makes you better than the rest of us?"
"I'm not wearing hockey pads!"
Fake Batman, Batman, & Jonathan Crane (The Dark Knight)
"You look so, so..."
Lumiere & Beast (Beauty & the Beast)
"I'm not bovvered." Lauren Cooper (BBC Comedy show starring Catherine Tate)
"I like to watch the wheel, it helps me forget."
"...I guess it worked. Ha ha!"
Rumplestiltskin & Belle ('Skin Deep' from Once Upon a Time.)
"I have an army."
"We have a Hulk."
Loki & Tony Stark/Iron Man (The Avengers)
"There's only one God, ma'am, and I seriously doubt he dresses like that."
Steve/Captain American (The Avengers)
"Doest mother knowest thou weareth her draperies?"
Tony Stark/Iron Man (The Avengers)
http://fwallpapers.com/files/imagecache/iphone4/images/yvonne-strahovski.jpg (picture of Yvonne Strahovski)
http://inkstainedhands518.deviantart.com/favourites/44222342#/d3gzc81 (Fan Art of Samantha Reads)
I'm that girl
The one that likes books more than boys.
The one who pretends not to be sad, just to make others happy
The one who always wonders what she did wrong
The one who writes to escape
The one who just wants to help
The one that really wants to make a difference
The one that sticks to her values
The one that refuses to believe that this is it
The one that will do anything to make a better tomorrow
The one who won't give in
The one won't give up
-by linguisticsrock, Copy and Paste if you can relate to this
25 things to do in an elevator!
1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead while muttering: "Shut up, dang it, all of you just shut UP!"
2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there."
4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open untill you hear the penny you dropped downt he shaft go 'plink' at the bottom.
9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, no, not now, bleeped motion sickness!"
11. Meow occasionally.
12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
15. Wear a puppy on your hand and talk to the other passengers 'through' it.
16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper"
17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
18. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push the red buttons.
19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscrope.
20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your 'personal space.'
21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
23. Wear 'X-Ray Specs' and leer suggestively at other passengers.
24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.
25. Set up a desk in the elevator, then ask whenever the doors open, 'Do you have an appointment?'
29 Annoying Ways to Order a Pizza
1. Start the conversation with "My call to (Pizza Place), take one... and... ACTION!"
2. If using a touch-tone phone, press random numbers while ordering. Tell the person taking the order, "would you please stop doing that...?"
3. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
4. Do not name your toppings; rather, spell them out.
5. Ask what the order taker is wearing.
6. Order 52 pepperoni slices arranged in a fractal pattern following from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they're getting all of this down.
7. If they repeat the order to verify it, say "OK. Your total comes to 10.99. Please pull up to the window."
8. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say "Yes," heave a sigh of relief.
9. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni," using a long "i" sound.
10. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)?" When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When finally offered proof that they are really (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"
11. Ask to see a menu.
12. Say you'll be able to pay for this "when the Hollywood people call back."
13. Demand imperiously, "Do you have ANY IDEA what is at stake with this pizza?!"
14. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
15. Punctuate your sentences with exclamations such as "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."
16. Start the conversation by reciting the date and time, and saying, "This may be my last entry."
17. Sing the order to the tunes of songs from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" album: "Chop your pizza on a mirror!"; "Master! Master! Put hot sausages on my pizza!"; or "Gimme Pizza! You will do what I say, when I say Gimme Pizza!"
18. Give your order, then state firmly, "And that's as far as this relationship is going to get."
19. Ask for a deal available from a different pizza chain (e.g., if phoning Domino's, ask for a CheeserCheeser)
20. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza. Repeat this nested loop until asked to stop, then explain that you got "stuck."
21. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.
22. Learn to imitate a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.
23. Attempt to teach the order-taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.
24. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"
25. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"
26. Order with a Speak-n-Spell.
27. If order-taker suggests a side order, ask why s/he is punishing you.
28. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, (So-and-so)."
29. If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say, in your poutiest voice, "LAST guy let me do it..."
17 Ways to Make Sure You're Insane
1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
5) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy"
6) Ask your dog if it's comfortable with it's name. Repeat with cat, until people ask if you're alright.
7) As often as possible, skip rather than walk .
8) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go"
9) Sing along at the opera.
10) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme .
11) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
12) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!"
13) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! They're loose!!"
14) When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"
15) Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
16) Put mosquito netting around your work area and play Tropical Sounds all day.
17) Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
16 THINGS I'M GOING TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Make a trail of lemonade going to the rest rooms.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"
Mental Hospital Phone Menu:
"Hello, and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital! Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up; our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
If you went to save Jack Sparrow just because you missed him, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy this into your profile.
People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy this into your profile!
If you you think real vampires don't glitter add this to your profile.
If you or your best friend(s) is insane, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever been called a bookworm and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you've ever wanted to give a movie or show character a flyingtacklehug, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever heard of National Talk Like a Pirate Day, copy this into your profile. ARRR!!
If you think High School Musical is not a real musical, copy this into your profile.
If you ever watched a movie so many times you know all the words to it then copy and paste this to your profile.
If you are a MOVIE QUOTER, which means you go around quoting movies for fun, copy and paste this in your profile!
If you are one of the few teenagers who do not like the Twilight series copy this into your profile.
98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
If you miss Steve Irwin, Heath Ledger, Bernie Mac, copy this into your profile.
If you sometimes make fun of emos, copy this into your profile.
If you wish you could meet the Joker and survive a chat, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever "wished the goblins would come and take you away right now", copy this into your profile! (original)
If you cried when David Tennant left the show Doctor Who?, copy and paste this into your profile. (original)
If you cheered and squealed when Belle fell into Rumplestiltskin's arms in 'Skin Deep', copy and paste this into your profile! (original)
If you do a happy dance after accomplishing a difficult task, copy and paste this into you profile! (original)
If you nearly pulled your hair out every time Wolf and Virginia came a fraction of an inch to kissing and were interupted in The 10th Kingdom copy and paste this into your profile! (original)
If you yell out, "Kiss already!" at people in the TV, copy and paste this into your profile! (original)
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing
Man: Can I buy you a drink?
Woman: Actually I'd rather have the money.
Man: How did you get to be so beautiful?
Woman: I must have been given your share.
Man: Your face must turn a few heads.
Woman: And your face must turn a few stomachs.
Man: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
Woman: Okay, get out.
Man: I think I could make you very happy.
Woman: Why? Are you leaving?
Man: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
Woman: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
Man: Can I have your name?
Woman: Why? Don't you already have one?
Man: want to see a movie?
Woman: I've already seen one.
Man: I'm God's gift to women.
Woman: God certainly has a sense of humor.
Mother Taught Me
1. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
3. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."
4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
6. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
9. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
10. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"
14. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."
16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"
17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
18. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
19. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."
20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
21. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
22. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
23. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
24. My mother taught me SHAPE-SHIFTING. "You'll turn into a sausage if you eat any more."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"