Author has written 9 stories for Diagnosis Murder, Highlander, Naruto, Fullmetal Alchemist, and Bleach.
Allo. Howdy. Hola.
I also post at AdultFanFiction.net because some sex scenes were going past the M-rating. I'm also Chas Aegis over there.
Also have a YouTube channel. Same name. Post the occasional stuff to entertain myself or vent.
I never leave unsigned reviews. If you get one that is "signed" by me, it isn't mine.
I'm always fair and constructive in my reviews. If I'm harsh, rarely with profanity or name calling, it's because I was offended. I have spoken with those I've been harsh with to reach a mutual understanding with them.
Don't ever expect me to apologize for my views. I have a right to them and they may change depending on my personal experiences and growth as a human being.
I respect this site, regardless of the rules and changes the site admins implement. Fanfiction isn't a passing fad until the next shiny object grabs my attention. I don't operate under the delusion I can do what I want here because no one cares.
Newsflash: Some of us do care. We care enough to use the report feature per the site rules.
Don't like it? Then get the fuck out of our fanfiction and leave it to those of us who love it.
Like to know more about CU, maybe even get some help or feedback from on how to improve your story? Go here.
Even though I'm back with CU, I still won't entertain any whining or griping about them. Why? Why should I.
If you insist on looking for sympathy, look it up in the dictionary between 'shit' and 'syphilis' because you ain't gonna find it here.
Posting on this site is a privilege, not a right. The admins don't have to allow any of us to post here, but ask us following a few simple rules. You don't like the rules? Go elsewhere.
If I haven't been clear enough, then my answer to a question asked in CU's Complain/Give Thanks thread sums it up nicely:
"I have a very simple question, which higher deity gave you this holiest of missions?"
The folks who own the site.
The gods of our world here.
They who declared when we all got our accounts, "Goeth forth and patrol thyselves!"
They who declared, "Thou shall have report buttons on every chapter of every story and every review."
And so such buttons appeared.
We make sacrifices of violators to these gods that they may bless us and grant us mercy.
Favorite quotes found perusing the internet:
'I’m starting to want to go up to these people and introduce myself or give them my card and say, “Hi, I’m Lizzie. Maybe you should stop staring and start learning.”' - Lizzie Velasquez born with the inability to gain body fat and cruelly named 'Ugliest Woman in the World' by online bullies.
"Wars begin where you will, but they do not end where you please." - Niccolo Machiavelli.
"Nothing I can do for you until you recognize it wasn't 'Islam' that attacked on 9/11/01, It was Al-Qaeda that attacked America, hiding behind Islam..." -Unknown
"Under no circumstances will I ever purchase anything offered to me as the result of an unsolicited e-mail message. Nor will I forward chain letters, petitions, mass mailings, or virus warnings to large numbers of others. This is my contribution to the survival of the online community." - Roger Ebert
"The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. And the first to let go is the happiest." - Unknown as it can be found almost everywhere.
"Why should I change? I’m fine just the way I am." -Calvin and Hobbes
“If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has goodwill, who am I to judge?” -Pope Francis
“Wrongful death, intentionally or negligently causing the death of a person, that is a violation of their civil rights.” - Michael Sussman, civil rights attorney
Constructive reviews Best way to learn from mistakes when freely offered by someone who cared enough to share, regardless of how harsh it may sound.
Writers who work on their story Runs the gamut from proofreading before posting to really thinking out your plot line. Plot holes are forgivable. Happens to the best and the more complicated the story, the more likely it'll happen. Everything else is laziness.
Writers who accept constructive criticism Shows you're willing to grow and develop. That you care about improving.
Writers who don't care about review counts If you love writing, it shows and makes it more enjoyable for your readers. Otherwise it's like watching one of the Mainstreet parades at Disneyland and seeing a supposedly happy, dancing dwarf looking really bored and pissy. Just kills the mood.
Incomplete reviews Saying a story is great is okay. Readers simply want to say they like it. If you don't like something, explain it. Writer's aren't mind readers. They can't fix a problem if they aren't aware of it. If you can't bother to say why, then don't bother reviewing at all.
Demanding reviews, but don't make improvements A lot of writers don't have the time to rework their fics. Annoying, but understandable. I'm referring to those who say 'my spelin suks but i'm knot gon to corect it.' If a story is badly written because of spelling, grammar, a confusing plot line, etc. why post it?
Fanfiction is supposed to be fun, not a struggle in comprehension. I can understand the Wallstreet Journal written in Chinese than some of the crap here. If all you want is, "It's g8!" then content yourself with the five reviews claiming "diz iz kewl pls upd8 soon!" while I move on to the better stuff without a glance back.
Writers holding stories hostage for reviews Aka, attention whoring. If a writer whines they won't continue if they don't get 'X' number of reviews, I snort and hit the 'back' button. They're no different than the proverbial little monkey dancing for the crowd for peanuts, forgetting that earning said peanuts is dependent on performance and attitude. Meaning, writers aren't in any position to demand anything.
And they'll never be cuter than the monkey.
Plagiarizers! If you didn't write it reviews are meaningless because it's NOT YOURS! They're pathetic attention whores. NO ONE likes them and can never justify it.
Doesn't apply to writers inspired by another's work and write a similar story. Some have been unfairly accused of plagiarizing because some elements of their story is similar to another. That's not plagiarism. If you make an idea your own that's okay. Let the original author know they inspired you. You'll find most are flattered and want to know when you post to see what you came up with off of their idea. You basically get another reader without much effort.
Treating incest and rape like loving acts Writers like to challenge themselves by tackling taboo topics like incest, rape, abuse, etc. Some want to expose the ugly side of humanity, they want to break the silence that tend to shelter these heinous acts. They aren't trying to glorify them and do a pretty good job handling them.
I hate when rape and incest are treated as sex acts that lead to love with the perpetrator. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! Obviously you've never known a victim and were never a victim to know how horrible an experience that is. You're stupid and lack the empathy God gave a shark. It would NEVER happen. Only exceptions depends on certain, long-term conditions. Even then, it's a perceived love, not the real thing.
I'm borrowing this from Jordan Lives with his permission. I've adjusted it to fit my own opinions better. I can tolerate a lot of this stuff or avoid them like the plague. Writers use these elements because they like it and there's an audience for them, though I'm not sure why. Hey, whatever floats your boat. Just sharing what annoys me.
Formerly: Things Author's of Fanfiction do seemingly just to piss off me, and every other decently competent writer on this site
Make characters not as strong as they should be: "Oh look I'm the second Espada! I'm stronger than any Gotei 13 captain, Fear me! Oh no I just got wtfpwned by this 4 year old Mary Sue nobody! It's not like according to Kubo Tite something with significantly less spiritual pressure than something else cannot physically cut that thing."
What's the point in making a character incapable of keeping up with the rest of the characters?
Granted it's possible in Naruto because civilians live among the ninjas, but you gotta admit the civilians just aren't as interesting. Other than the fact Naruto would be deprived of his lifeblood, who really cares if Teuchi and Ayame dies? That's what instant ramen is for.
Or make characters too strong: "Bwahaha, I'm Naruto Uzumaki, tremble! In the Anime I suck at life in general and have stumbled along on sheer dumb luck and stubbornness. But just cuz I found a magic sword in this forest while tripping on acid and cutting myself because the village just tried to murder me for the 9001th time (Because obviously it's over 9000), now I can destroy the world by blinking! Fear me, Blink! Blink!!"
When you make characters too strong it destroys what is known as 'Suspension of Disbelief,' that thing which let's you read a story about ninjas blowing giant dragons made of fire out of their mouths and summoning toads the size of skyscrapers and not go every three seconds, "but that denies every law of motion, thermodynamics and even the theory of relativity! Hey! The space on the inside of that magical toad is bigger than the space on the outside!"
It's what leads people to never question that somehow when people die they go to a place exactly like feudal Japan, or that every dead person speaks Japanese! Or the fact that when these 'Souls' die a second time they get reincarnated into a baby.
"What if there's not enough babies? Or too many souls? Do you know how impossible it would be for the world to be regulated by that? "Oh no! We've somehow managed to keep a thousand souls from dying a second time...a thousand Korean kids were just born souless...well damn, that's unfortunate. Looks like Aizen just slaughtered 9001 (again over 9000) residents of Rukongai, what do we do with all these dead people with no bodies to put them in?...Force Premature births? Then they'll end up right here."
People keep reading theses fics because we are temporarily able to suspend our inclination to disbelieve things that go against what we know to be true. However, when things are too outrageous we can't do that...and then the story becomes torture to read. Makes you question your own sanity and wonder why you wasted precious time of your fading life on reading such a fic in the first place.
Rewriting the entire series, or certain parts: Look AU stories are fun, but why just redo canon? Don't argue your version is way different or better because guess what? It usually isn't.
A lot of writers fall into the trap of writing nearly the exact same story as the original without realizing it until it's too late, assuming they ever realize it at all. Then there are those who simply rewrite a certain key events. I've read very few rewrites where the writers made the chunin exams their own. Actually, only a couple.
Yeah, I get that you're setting the story at a time where you can't avoid the chunin exams, for example. However, if you can, please do us all a favor and just skip them entirely. You can simply refer back to them in the narrative because, honestly, I think the original chunin exam was the best.
Yaoi! and Yuri! Writers usually cater to their own yaoi or yuri fetishes. It's not my cup of tea, but I've read some good stories that contain yaoi (admittedly I have not read any good yuri, and no, I'm not that interested in finding any either, so please don't point them out). However, notice in that sentence I wrote 'good stories that contain.' I am a heterosexual female with a gay uncle who really isn't all that interested in homosexual sex.
A lot of yaoi and yuri are nothing but lousy sex showcases, which also happen to be against the site rule on MA content. If I want good sex fiction, I know a couple of sites specializing in erotic fiction where they're far better than the cut and paste crap posted here.
Jordan Lives has a really hilarious, but true take on this issue. I don't agree exactly with him, but he makes a very valid argument, so I'm going to share this anyway.
"Just because I haven't ever peeped on women in the bathtub, or tried to cop a feel I'm obviously a raging Homosexual. Homosexuality is only okay in my book when the author himself has stated: that character is as flaming as a tent full of drunk clowns doused in gasoline on the 4th of July.
But no...the only characters you guys don't force to get raped up the A by their unwilling coworkers are the ones that have left no doubt as to their heterosexuality, which is apparently only possible by being a giant fucking pervert."
I've read some good stories where the characters are turned gay, but most are so badly done that I question if the writer even knows one. So that's why this is merely an annoyance.
Bad Grammar: It's okay in the first couple of chapters if it disappears. Means they're improving. However, repeating the same stupid mistakes and obviously not even trying to correct them means a writer doesn't give a shit about their story. If you don't give a damn, neither will readers.
This goes for giant plot holes and things you were too lazy to explain because, "Everyone'll obviously know what I mean." Have you ever met a real person before, you naive moron? The average one is retarded, it goes doubly so for people who read or write fanfiction, which is why there's over 200,000 Naruto stories and around 90 percent (198,000 roughly) make me want to claw my eyes out.
OC Main Characters: "Oh boy has this been a long time coming. I like OC's in general. They're like blank slates which can be thrown into a space and fill it up. What they aren't however, is a license to make yourself into the god of a world of your own creation you poor pathetic soul. "Naruto, come with me and I will give you godly powers. I am your long lost brother and the container of the 10 Tailed Demon Rhinoceros, I will kill all those who ever try to hurt you. My name is XXNarutoXMenXForeverXX" "Totally just made that name up, sorry if that is your actual name, in that case, get a life."
Yay, you've successfully taken any hint of the original story flavoring out of the story. The reason I write Naruto fanfiction is because Naruto is such a compelling, albeit moronic sometimes, character. He has major flaws and the tenacity to work past them, but when you introduce little miss god mode look at me Mary Sue Naruto can't get his chance to shine. Ever read "My Immortal"? If not, do so, because that is what you are going towards when you create an OC as a main character and make the real Main Characters into side shows to give your self insert a chance to shine."
It's possible to create good OC's and use them as leads. A lot of writers forget to keep them genuine and true to canon. Readers connect to characters in their favorite fandoms because they're flawed and can relate to those flaws.
It's when writers decide to self-insert into their OC and create a persona much better than themselves as well as canon characters that the story goes straight into the crapper. You tailor your OC to the fandom, not the other way around.
Annoying things writers stick in their summaries
There's so little room for a summary, so why waste it on this stuff?
I suck at summaries! Summaries are hard to write, but I'll give a story a chance if the idea is interesting. A lousy summary doesn't mean a crappy story. Usually. However, if you HAVE to point out your summary sucks that must mean you think I'm too stupid to see the obvious, so I guess I'm just too stupid to read your story.
Please read and review! or Read it! Umm, isn't it obvious that if we want to, we're going to? I mean, that is what this site is for, reading and writing. Sorry, but no matter how nicely you ask or how much you demand, I'm not going to read your fic because you tell me to. As for the review, if I have something worthwhile to say, I will, otherwise don't tell me what to do.
My spelin n gramner suks Don't point it out. I won't read it if you warn me. You might be able to trick me into wasting my time into reading more than a couple of chapters if you don't scare me off from the get go.
Stating the pairing FF.net allows writers to pick the main characters of a story. Shows up beneath the summary along with the rating, word count, etc. So why state it?
One exception is if there's a change in a character's gender. For example: kaka/femnaru. Another is if the pairing indicated doesn't happen right away. For example, two characters start out as a couple then break up and the two characters listed hooked up later on.
Stating the rating See 'Stating the pairing' because it's the same thing.
Flamers not welcome! Despite some idiots being incapable of differentiating between a flamer and a concritter, you never hear anyone say, 'I LOVE flamers!'
Hmmmm, okay, I know some writers who feel validated when they get a flame because all they get is 'I love your story! Update soon!'
Anyway, this attracts the very ones you don't want reviewing your story. A call by the stupid to the stupid
Stupid, misused or unjustly mutilated words Currently there's a fad of taking a perfectly legit word and deforming it into something idiotic.
Take "words" like 'chappie' and 'smexy.'
Do you realize 'chappie' has the same amount of letters as 'chapter' and sounds REALLY stupid? I feel a couple of IQ points die whenever I'm assaulted by this "word."
'Smexy,' what the HELL is this supposed to mean? 'Sexy' is a perfectly legitimate, CORRECT word.
'Plunnies' have been showing up lately. I've got plot bunnies who are ADHD idiots who go nuts when they get into the sugar, booze or any illegal substance. However, I'm NOT going to further kill any existing brain cells by typing such a stupid "word" because it's 'cute' or 'fun-e'.